"I don't think we can convert Snoke to veganism," Kylo said, all depressed. "I think he's too corrupted to see the true powers of a vegan."
"I think there might be hope, but if you say so, Kyle," Fasma said.
"WE MUST KILL THE OPPRESSOR," Hux screeched. "BURN THE NON BELIEVER!"
"Haha, you're really enthusiastic about this, Hux." Kylo simpered nervously.
"Yeah Snoke is a bitch. He never gives me respect," Hux whined.
"Okay how are we going to kill him though," Kylo asked.
"Poison will be the easiest option," Fasma croaked wisely.
"Okay let's poison him," Kylo confirmed evilly.
Smoke was sitting in his chamber when a stormtrooper knocked on the door.
"Come in," Snoke said airily.
"Hello leader, this is your dinner." The stormtrooper had a giant plate of steamy, sensual medium-rare meat.
"Wow that looks hot," Snoke grinned grossly and snatched the food.
"Wait a second…" Smoke looked closely at the plate, and saw… pills in the meat!
"What the fuck is this," he said all suspicious-like.
"Those are vitamin pills my friend," the stormtrooper said wisely.
"But they have skulls on them." Snoke was still hesitantly.
"That's because they improve your brain power." The stormtrooper said stealthily (the stormtrooper was actually Kyle Ren in disguise).
"Oh okay." Snoke ate the meat and died.
"Hahahahaha," Kylo cackled viciously and teabagged Smoke's corpse.
"Why are we out here," the First Order staff complained. The whole staff (hundreds of thousands of people) had been summoned to the training grounds outside. Kylo Ren, Generally Hux, and Cap'n Fasma walked onto the stage used for speeches and Kylo took up the mic.
"Hello everyone. Sorry to call you out here on such short notices! but! I have something very important to annouce..," The staff looked at each other in confusing. Kylo started speaking:
"My dear friends, my comrades, my loyal associates. Due to unknown causes, our great leader, the Supreme Leader Snoke, has very unfortunately passed away." Kylo chuckled to himself because he had been the one who had killed Smoke! And nobody even suspected it was him.
"Despite this great loss, the First Order will soon experience a power that far surpasses anything Snoke could even hope to provide. Though I do this with much reluctance, and sorrow weighing down my heart... I will be taking over the First Order as of now." Kyle shoock his head all sad, but he was just acting. "Even though I may never be as powerful with the Force as our previous leader, the First Order will rise under my rule. I have something great, something tremendous, something that will lead us to the ultimate victory... And no, I'm not talking about my dick." Everyone screamed with lafter, and Kyle grinned sneakily. "No, my friends, I am talking about my complete dedication to veganism." Everyone gasped. "Veganism is the ultimate power source in this galaxy, and I will use veganism to rule all of the systems in harmony!" Kylo raised a fist passionately. "To glory! To domination! To veganism!" Kylo roared. The First Order staff clapped excitedly, and Kyle felt satisfied becuz he knew that the Resistance would be finally crush!