Author's note: Sory for not updatin but Ive been busy with life lmao. Plz enjoy this longer update, with hotttt stuff at the end. This is my first time writing something smutty so plz be gentle with reviews ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

So Kylo Ren woke up the next morning and grimed happily because it was a very special day! Kyle gave his Darth Vader body pillow a smexy kiss and threw on his vegetable-print robes really enthusiastical.

"Hey guys, guess wht day it is." Said Kylo to his friends at the cafeteria.

"Hmmmm we have no idea" they all said.

Then Kyle started cryin beans because they forgot the most important day of the year?!

"Haha just kidding Kylro we know it's your birthday" Laffed Kylo's friends.

"Ye I'm finally turning 32!" Kyle said, all proud.

"Wait what, I thought you were like twelve or something," Fasma said all confused?

"WHAT" screeched Kylo. "I'M A GROWN UP WTF FAMSA."

"Um nevermind," Famsa said, really confuse. "So are you having a party."

"Of course, and you guys are invited" Kylo said, very generosity.

"Wow that's so wizard Kyle" said Rey.

"Wow Rey you must really like Darth Vader if you know the phrase 'wizard'!" Kylro was much impress.

"Haha yeah I totally love malicious dictators who kill everyone who gets in their way and blows up planets full of people and cuts off their kid's hands" Rey chucked.

"Haha yeah totally that's sO WIZARD REY" Kylro hollered."Anyways the party is tonight, bring me presents or I'll cry haha." Then Kyle ran away really fast, singing the imperial march mixed with the birthday song under his breath.

"Shit guys I totally forgot it was his birthday, I didn't get him a present yet." Said Hux.

"Oops same here," said Fasma and Rey. "We just guessed that it was his birthday and got lucky."

"Wow, we're shitty friends," Hux reflected.

"Haha yeah lmao" everyone laffed.

"Let's go to the Jar Jar Shopping Mall to buy gifts. It's on the planet LaziNaym." Suggest Rey.

"Okay what system is that?" Ask Hux. "I can fly our secret base there really fast before the party!"

"It's the Soy system, I think."

"Okiee!" Said Hux and he went to direct the base in the right direction!

So everyone was at the mall except Kylro because he couldn't find out that his friends had forgotten to buy him gifts!

"This is pretty cute," Fasma mused as she held up sexy Darth Vader inspired lingerie.

"But that's for girls," Hux snaped.

"Haha do you really think Kylro will notice" Laugh Fasma.

"True," Hux snorted all amused.

"Hey guys do you think Kyle will like this?" Rey was holding a poster that had a tomato on it, except it looked like the Death Star.

"Ya thats cool" agree Hux and Fasma.

"Well okay, then Hux you need to get something for Kyle, and then we can go." Said Rey.

"My friendship is a good enough gift, he shouldn't be greedy" Hux said all meanly.

So then the friends got back on the base and then it was time for Kyle's birthday!

There was a huge carrot cake, with candles on top that were made out of dead Resistance fighters' body fat and hair (It was still vegan though because humans are not animal)

Fasma and Rey gave their gifts to Kylro, and he liked the poster, but was confuse by Fasma's gift.

"Um this is nice Fasma, but it's for girls?" Kylro was too manly for GIRL lingerie! "I only wear men's lingerie." Kyle raze an eyebrow at Fasma. "Also Hux why didn't you get me a gift? That's really rude you know."

Hux felt really guilty and hung himself (oops I mean hung his head).

"Oh I know Hux, put on this lingerie and poledance to the imperial march in front of the entire galaxy and I'll forgive you" Kylro said all evilly.

"But Kyle, that lingerie is for GIRLS," Hux complained.

"DO IT," Kyle hissed, evil stirring in his vegan eyes!

"Okay fine sheesh dont be a jerk-face" Hux simpered.

Then Hux put on the lingerie and did poledancing to the Imperial March in front of the whole galaxy! It was so hott! People threw lots of money at Hux, and he was given the stripper name 'Vegan Vixen'!

"Haha now you can fund the First Order with your stripping," Kylro chucked.

"Yeah I guess so!" Said Hux, all proud.

And it was the best birthday ever the end! (see u next chapter)