"If you touch my foot one more time I will not hesitate to kill you." Gail spoke in a much more leveled voice then she normally held when being pulled from sleep.
Slowly she started to become aware of her surroundings. Her ass was freezing, seated against what felt like concrete, something was jabbing into her neck and on the other side of her eyelids held light as bright as the sun. She was going to murder whoever thought to turn the lights on at this hour, but not before she killed whoever it was that interrupted her sleep.
A deep chuckle sounded from around her feet. "I wouldn't doubt that for a second."
Her eyes shot open, the past few hours coming back to her memory.
"You did what and you're where?"
Gail scanned her surroundings. "Holly asked me to be her plus one at her cousin's wedding, all of her family -take away one uncle- is in BC. The wedding is this weekend, that's what she was asking you about yesterday. I missed the flight but took the next one, which was late, so now it's four in the morning and I'm in BC without an address."
She could hear Traci set her mug down. "Wow, that's a lot of info and drama at seven in the morning."
"Can you kinda hurry up, I didn't have much change for the payphone."
"Firstly we are talking when you get back. Secondly you're really sweet-"
Gail interrupted her with a scoff and eye roll.
"Thirdly, why did you call me and not Holly?" Traci's voice was timid, she could guess the answer and probably already figured out what had happened.
"Because I'm a child and she hates me, so she's turned off her phone. I've already tired." Gail answered.
"Fourthly, do you have any idea of any addresses? Like a neighborhood or something." Traci offered.
She thought it over, flipped through conversations down memory lane. Oh Gail thought excitedly. She knew one name, maybe she could ask around or something.
"Gail? You still there?"
"Yeah, yeah I'm here. I only know the name-" Gail pulled the phone from her ear. "Fuck." She slammed the phone back into place and burst out of the little cubicle, she was on a mission.
Hailing a cab at the airport wasn't nearly as bad as it was in Toronto and for that she was grateful. Once all settled in and pulling out of the airport the driver gave her a kind smile and asked where they were going.
"I'm really hoping you know where The Enchanted Florist is." Gail looked to the grey haired man in hopes.
"It's a little early for anything to be open don't you think?" He mused, staring back at her through the mirror.
"Yes. Do you know the place or not?" She wasn't in the mood to be friendly. She had only gotten a few hours of sleep on the flight, her mind kept racing as she worried about how much Holly much hate her. Gail spent most of the time thinking of what she was going to say, how she was going to explain herself, and all of the different possible outcomes.
"I do, it's going to be an hour's drive." The cabby replied cheerfully.
Gail wiggled down her seat and rested her head on the cool window, closing her eyes. Holly's defeated voice whispering 'I can't handle Gail being there' filled her head. It repeated over and over, shortening to just 'I can't handle Gail' until she could hardly breathe. It was weird, Gail thought she'd be used to those words -that sentence- by now, she'd been listening to them for over a week on a nonstop repeat. Usually she'd be able to distract herself before getting to this point, getting so worked up that an anxiety attack was well on its way.
Gail quickly sat up and pulled her backpack into her lap, unzipping it and pulling out her headphones. Breathe. In and out. She turned on her calming playlist and focused on the words, willing herself to drown out Holly's voice. Breathe, in and out. Holly didn't mean it like that, she reminded herself. She wants you there, even after your stupidity she asked if you were still going. Look at the texts.
Gail scrolled up the long list of texts from the doctor and began to read, starting with the frantic ones the day it happened.
Lunchbox: Gail it's not what it sounded like
Lunchbox: Please let me explain
Lunchbox: Gail. Please hear me out
She passed the next few days messages, knowing it wasn't of help right now. Those were just filled with pleas and the guilt of letting Holly -sweet amazing funny beautiful Holly- plea for forgiveness, beg to just be heard and then be met with the dead silent, cold shoulder she'd been giving her was like getting stabbed in the gut repeatedly. No good when trying to reassure herself that she was still wanted.
So Gail flicked to the first of the explanations.
Lunchbox: I'm hoping you are at least reading these, well I do and I don't. If you are reading these it means you're reading my pleas and ignoring them, which I'm not gonna lie, that hurts. But it also means I can start to explain and you're going to read it. On the other hand I'm just talking to myself and you're completely ignoring me. Now I'm rambling, nervous
Gail smiled, remembering when she first learned of Holly's nervous habit. She had thought the brunette was going insane, losing her marbles one word vomit at a time.
Lunchbox: It's not that I don't want you there. I do, I honestly really really do. I was dreading having to go until you were coming with me. I don't like big gatherings, as you know, but with the thought of you being there it doesn't seem so bad. It became something I'm actually looking forward to.
She scrolled further down to texts from a few days ago.
Lunchbox: I don't have anymore pleading in me. So I'll tell you one more time that I didn't mean it the way you heard and I do want you there.
Lunchbox: Gail, like I've said in previous messages I can't fully explain the meaning behind the words over the phone. But I can tell you that it's about a very sad thing that happened, to me, and because of that thing everyone looks at me like I'll break at any second. It's been two years since it happened and people are still acting that way, it's the biggest reason I moved out here. Lunchbox: the reason I said what I did was because I'm not sure I'm ready for you to look at me that way. You, Gail, of all people look at me with the sorrow filled eyes and sympathetic head tilt. Just the thought of you looking at me, sad, I can't handle it.
After that one Holly began to just talk. Whether it be about her day, an interesting case, a wondering, down thing funny she saw. Holly just talked, until two days ago. In the past two and a half days she's gotten one single text.
Lunchbox: Still my plus one forever?
Instead of letting the guilt of her lack of response get her, Gail focused on getting to Holly and apologizing. So she set on gathering the right words to say when she saw the brunette.
The light was indeed the sun, hung in mid sky and shining brightly. And she was sitting on concrete, lying really, on the steps to Holly's father's flower shop. The thing poking her neck was a buckle on her backpack, which she had used as a pillow and her duffle bag as a footrest. After answering her immediate questions Gail blinked against the light to take in her waker.
A very familiar lopsided smile was staring down at her, deep green eyes and a beautiful dark complexion. His black hair well into greying, even the scruff on his face was turning. But it was the chuckle from deep within his gut that gave away who he was.
Holly's dad.
Gail fumbled to feet, "I'm sorry. That was-I was. I-I didn't mean"
He raised a hand, effectively putting her out if her embarrassing misery. "It's ok Gail."
"You know who I am?" Gail asked bewildered, eyes wide in a panic of sorts.
"Of course I know who you are. Not only are you a popular subject my daughter talks about, both now and when you were eight, but there aren't many faces I don't know in this town." Holly's father was getting harder to read the more he spoke. Still welcoming and warm, like Holly, but it was getting clouded with something. Something she couldn't quite put her finger on.
He walked past her and unlocked the door to the shop. Gesturing for Gail to go in first he continued as she marvelled at the colour store.
"Plus you look like you've had a long night and are exactly as Holly has said. Doesn't take a genius to put it together." He winked and put Gail's bags behind the counter.
Gail was still admiring the colourful displays, buying herself time to try and think of a reply.
"I'm sorry about threatening you and sleeping on your steps, I didn't mean to fall asleep. And I'm sorry for just showing up like this after my behaviour with Holly. I'm an idiot." Gail managed to say with her head bowed.
"The threat was a given, you've been on a plane all night and probably worrying yourself sick so falling asleep is also a given. The placement on my store front steps is a little odd, not a place I would choose but to each their own I guess. Although," he tilted his head like he was putting a puzzle together and maybe if he turned his head the pieces would fit. "with ordinal plans you probably didn't even bother to ask for addresses and this shop is the only thing you knew."
"You sure you aren't a detective Mr. Stewart?" Gail gave a half smile.
He chuckled and shook his head. "I just read a lot of mystery. But my father was one, maybe I picked up some of his skill."
Gail's smile grew, it still wasn't full but it was a lot more than she thought she could manage at the time. The Stewarts must have some weird calming thing that no one else knows about, an old Stewart family secret.
"I haven't talked to Holly since she landed, but she wasn't doing too well kid, so I'm not sure about you just dropping by the house." He stopped when noticing the complete demeanour change in the blonde, everything about her plummeted a thousand feet under the ground. It made his heart break and swell twice it's size.
"But," he continued, searching Gail's face until she met his gaze. "You can hang out with me here and help around the shop if you're all sleeped out. Holly, Lila, Gavin and my wife all went out for the day and promised to bring me lunch. Then we'll see how it goes from there, alright?"
Gail nodded timidly, the lump in her throat too unpredictable to trust speaking. She understood where the greying man was coming from, if situations reversed she would have yelled at the kid to get off her steps and that would have been that.
He passed her a broom, "and darling, don't ever apologize for trying to work things out."
Once again she nodded feebly and the two got to work in silence. Gail appreciated it, any noise above their working would have driven her crazy while she was trying to think so deeply.
Mr. Stewart was exactly as Holly had described, overly kind and caring, warm -everything about him yelled warm and welcoming- and wise and empathic, funny and everything else a father should look like. Gail liked him.
Once she finished sweeping all the floors Mr. Stewart walked around showing her the different potions of water to give each plant and then passed her the watering can. Gail was hesitant at first, she really didn't want to mess up and give the man another reason to hate her.
Just when she started to get the hang of it, calming down to remember what the older man had instructed, he called her into the front room.
"Yes Mr. Stewart?"
He smiled at her from behind the counter as he stood. "We are going down the street to get coffee and some food for you."
Hours passed by and conversation got easier. Mr. Stewart taught Gail about the different plants and how to care for them, when a costumer came in Gail learned how to make a sale and everything that went with it. She was actually enjoying herself, all thoughts a worries drifted away as she listened to Holly's father sing along with the radio. Until it was interrupted by the ring of the bell, indicating a costumer, followed by an excited call for 'Papa'.
Gail's stomach dropped. Assuming that Papa was Mr. Stewart and the excited child was Gavin, it meant they were there to drop off lunch and Holly was due in the shop any second. She was glad she migrated into one of the further rooms, it gave her time to calm down before seeing the family, seeing Holly.
"Hey Gav, how's it going?" Mr. Stewarts smooth voice trickled throughout the shop.
Gail heard some shuffling.
"Awesome. After picking up Aunt Holly we went to the wharf and me, Aunt Holly and mom played soccer. I of course won -on my own- so I got to choose lunch. And then Aunt Holly and I went swimming." Gavin spewed out happily.
The bell rang just as he finished, Gail's heart rate sky rocketed.
"Hey Papa" Holly teased, Gail could hear the brunette's smile.
"Hey Sunshine." Mr. Stewart replied amused and slightly muffled, gail guessed they were hugging. She heard a kiss noise and then some shuffling.
"Who's bags" questioned Gavin.
Oh no, she's been made, now there was definitely no more hiding.
"Gail's." He replied simply.
Even if she wasn't in the room, Gail could feel the change in the air, the tension at the mention of her name. There was a beat before Holly's stuttered question. "Is she. . Is she here?"
Next thing she knew familiar foot steps were getting closer until the brunette stood in the doorway. Gail unintentionally swept her eyes over Holly. Her hair was black and curly from being wet, pulled up into a pony tail. Glasses nowhere to be seen meant she was probably wearing contacts, it made sense if she had planned on swimming and where ing her sunglasses all day, which where perched on top of her head. Gail could see the strap to Holly's bikini top peaking out from under her loose tank top. She spent longer than she should have ogling the brunettes tone legs, exposed from her jean shorts. Her gaze flicked back up, meeting the burning brown eyes also taking her in.
They stood in silence for a moment, neither sure what to say or how to start. The shrill of the bell took them put of their daze, realizing they were now alone in the shop.
Gail figured since she was the asshole who started this she should be the one to speak first. Taking a deep breath and clearing her throat she began quietly. "I'm an idiot and a child, I messed up and I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry, Holly. I freaked out. The first few days would have been okay, I know that, but everything after was me being scared and instead of being an adult I continued to hide. I-"
"You didn't just hide Gail" Holly interrupted, crossing her arms. "You completely ignored me and shut me out without even getting the full story. And you just show up expecting what?"
Gail could see the hurt and sadness in her eyes, in her voice and in the way she held herself. But more than that Holly was angry. Gail couldn't blame her, if Holly had done that to her she would be beyond furious. It still hurt though, it still twisted her insides with guilt.
"I-I'm not really sure what I was expecting." Gail looked to the floor shamefully. What had she been thinking? That she would show up and Holly would greet her with open arms? "I guess I was hoping that I haven't completely screwed up and you wouldn't totally hate my guts." She dared a glance at Holly and noted she had taken a step closer. The brunette didn't seem like she was going to answer so she continued.
"Traci told me you asked if I was still going, at that point I had my mind set that I shouldn't, not after the past week. But you asked and I felt like I could breathe, for a second I could breathe. And so I kept telling myself that I still had a chance, all I had to do was swallow down my insecurities and get on the flight. But I misread the time and missed the flight, so I took the next one out and when I landed I realized I didn't have any addresses, so thank god the cab driver knew where this place was by name or else I would still be at the airport and trying to call you every five minutes." She was rambling, she knew she was, but she couldn't stop. Holly was making her nervous, for the first time in their relationship Holly was upset with her and she couldn't read her expression. Holly was just standing there, arm crossed over her chest to keep safe, -her heart broke at the thought. Holly was protecting herself from her, Gail had never thought she'd be on this end of Holly's protection- and staring at her as she explained.
"That doesn't matter now." Gail berated herself for getting off track. Apology. "I was. . I was scared, that you had gotten bored or that I was just as everyone says I am. That I'm not a nice person, that I'm disposable and most of all, I'm not someone to take home to meet the parents. I thought you changed your mind about asking me and I have you an out the only way I knew how. I was stupid and immature and I handled it all wrong. I'm sorry for that, but most of all I'm sorry for making you sad. And I'll leave if you want me to, I fully understand and wouldn't blame you."
Holly licked her lips, "you don't have to go, you've spent enough money on another flight."
"Savings can be rebuilt, besides I've got nothing else to be here for and staying would only be a permanent reminder of the trouble I've caused."
Holly sighed and unraveled her arms. "I would, like it if you stayed."
Gail took a breath, finding it just slightly easier now that she has been given more time with the promise of her wanted presents. "Okay. Um, do you have any recommendations on hotels?"
"I'm not going to make you stay at a hotel, Gail. You can come back to Lila's with me and we can continue to talk, because you hurt me and it's not okay for you to just drop me and then pick me up when you're ready."
"I know, I'm sorry." Gail looked to her hands that were nervously playing together.
"You can stop apologizing. For now" she tried a smile, ducking a bit to meet the roaring blue eyes.
Gail's heart fluttered.
"No promises." She gave the brunette a small sly smile.
"I might be able to live with that." Holly smirked and took another step closer. Gail's heart was picked up again, for a reason other than the anxious nerves it's been living on. "I know it's not how you choose to communicate and it's probably really weird, but in going to ask anyway. Can I have a hug, from-from you?"
Gail nodded and broke out into a smile, happy at first then quickly turning to bashful as she watched the colour burn onto Holly's cheeks.
They both closed the space between them with one big step each and wrapping arms round one another, it was awkward -there was no doubt about that- but it was good. Gail nuzzled her nose onto Holly's neck, breathing in the calming scent of the brunette, soaked in all of her as she could. Holly rested her forehead on Gail's shoulder and concentrated on the feeling of the blonde in her arms. Both took one last deep breath and pulled apart.
Back at the house they talked more, as promised, and then Gail took a shower to wash away the flight and worry while dinner was being made. She took her time, made sure every un surety was washed away with the soap she borrowed from Holly. Which being washed in one of the many scents of Holly helped extinguish the insecurities that still lingered.
Everything was back again, they were good and stronger than before. Now was just the awkwardness of seeing the other Stewarts again post makeup, the car ride to the house was tense to say the least. It was oblivious that everyone knew what had happened and what was going on, she just hoped that it wouldn't take too long to get to normal grounds with them.
Holly had told her to change into pyjamas when she got out of the shower, said that everyone was going to be in theirs as well so she should be too. So after slipping into a pair of boxers and a loose tee she timidly made her way down the stairs, glancing at the framed pictures that lined the wall.
One of a little Holly and Lila soaking wet and standing side by side on a dock.
One of a baby Gavin held by Mr. Stewart with Mrs. Stewart next to them, a hand tickling at her grandsons tummy.
One of Lila and a toddler Gavin, foreheads pressed together and in shadows as the sunlight brightens the background.
One of Holly and Gavin at about age seven on her back, both laughing hysterically.
The last one was of all of them. All smiles and genuine happiness and love eminent in each of their postures. All of it exactly as she'd always imagined them. A happy and well loved family, the kind every kid pictures as perfect. Gail brushed Holly's face in the picture and then berated herself for being such a sap and removed her hand.
"I was just coming to get you." Holly smiled happily. "Dinner's ready, and we're having one of your favourites."
Gail raised a brow in question as she took the last few stairs to join the brunette. As Holly had promised, she was wearing sweat pants rolled up to her knees and an old tee.
"Kraft Dinner with cut up hotdogs."
"Ooo" she perked right up.
Holly started toward the dining room with Gail not a step behind. "But I should warn you there's also asparagus and Lila won't let you have desert without eating some."
"She can't do that."
"Oh she can and she will. I've challenged it before I missed out on my mothers famous carrot cake, mom only makes it once a year. It was horrible." Holly smirked and the pouting officer. "Just eat a few and you'll be safe."
The table was set, the pot of macaroni and cheese and hotdog goodness was sitting in the middle, along with a plate of taunting asparagus. Gail and Holly took the seats across from the waiting Lila and Gavin. Lila sporting a tank top and flannel pyjama pants, Gavin also in boxers and a tee.
"So Gail, you're a cop right?" Gavin waited for the head nod before continuing. "How often do you get to use your pepper spray and stuff?"
Holly laughed and shook her head, spooning cheesy noodles onto her plate. "Of all first questions that's the one you choose?"
"Problem Aunt Hols?" He raised a brow.
"Not at all Gavin." She passed the spoon to Gail with an amused smile.
Gavin turned to the blonde, silently asking the question again.
"Not as often as one would think. Those things are last resorts." Gail replied and began eating.
"Have you used them?"
She nodded. "A few times."
"That's badass"
Lila smacked his shoulder, "language."
Gavin mumbled an apology around a bite of food.
"Gail if you're wanting any of my peanut butter brownie cookies you need to eat your veggies. Mom here doesn't care who you are, no veggies no desert." The boy advised seriously.
After dinner they took their desert to the living room and watched mindless tv. No one brought up their initial meeting and no one made it into a quiet thing either, they treated her as if she'd been there for years. They all got along with easy banter and conversation was smooth. Lila sent Gavin off to bed around nine, stating he could read or write until ten or just go to sleep. And not too soon after she also slipped off to bed, leaving Gail and Holly on the couch.
"I'm exhausted which means you must be doubly exhausted, so I vote for bedtime."
"Doubly exhausted?" Gail questioned the brunette.
"Yup." Holly turned and smiled at the blonde. "So, bed?"
"Okay. Where am I being stationed?"
"You have a choice, this tiny couch" She gestured to display the sofa they were sitting on. "or an air mattress."
Gail pretended to think it over. "I'm going to have to go with air mattress."
"Is that your final answer?" Holly used her best game show host impression.
"Why do I hang out with you, you're such a dork." Gail hit her with the pillow she had in her lap.
"You love it." She continued with the voice.
"Do not."
"Do too, if not then you would have let those kids bully me into going home." Holly smiled triumphant.
"I only stopped them because that's what I was trained to do and you were the only one with cheese puffs." Gail huffed.
Holly hummed in disbelief. "And that's why you married me right?"
Gail's face flushed and her ears burned. "Life long line of cheese puffs and doctors are always a good choice, mother would be impressed."
"How has our marriage last this long if those are the only reasons?" Holly tucked a leg under herself to fully face the blonde.
"Um, have you met me, Lunchbox? It's obviously because of my amazing humour, badassery, plus I'm hot." Gail explained as if it was a well known fact.
"Touché."
"Anyway, it's time for bed. Where am I going?"
"Well our bags and the air mattress are all in my room, technically the guest room but growing up and before I moved it was mine so I still think of it as mi-ne" Holly rambled but stopped when noticing Gail had already left, somehow unseen.
She looked over each wall carefully, asking in the little trinkets left begin by Holly. A few science ribbons, newspaper clipping, paintings that looked to be done by a small child, -Gavin probably- a tack board littered with photos. A trophy stood on the dresser, along with a big tray of random things and a picture frame turned down. The frame peaked her interest but before she could get to it Holly walked in with two glasses of water.
So Gail left it, noting to ask later and followed the brunettes lead in climbing into bed. She turned her head so she could see a moonlit Holly, Gail smiled fondly into the darkness. Holly forgave her and she had another chance, -as long as she promises not to run like that again- they were back to being them and tomorrow she'd be meeting the entire Stewart clan. She sighed in contentment and closed her eyes, the last thing she saw and the last thing on her mind lying a few feet away.