It was safe to say Gail hadn't gotten any sleep between a screaming and crying Holly, and the shaky voiced horror story. Even after the brunette passed out clinging tightly to her. Gail's dreams had made sure of it.
Holly had been engaged, with a house, and a baby on the way. Holly had put down roots and then on the simplest of days it was all ripped away from her. Gail couldn't imagine that kind of pain. She honestly didn't want to, as that would mean imagining a life with Holly, going home to Holly one night only to find her in a house fire.
She woke to a numb arm, her back stiff from lying in one position for so long. Gail went to stretch it out, but then remembered why she was so stiff when the body on top of her shifted. She peaked at the brunette with one eye.
Holly was already awake and watching her, her eyes were still red but whether that was due to sleep or crying Gail couldn't tell.
"Have you never been told how creepy it is to watch people sleep?" Gail mumbled and snuggled further into the blanket around them.
Holly smiled shyly. "In my defense it hasn't been long."
She let out a disbelieving puff of air.
"What do you want to do today?" Gail asked after a few silent minutes.
Holly laid her head on Gail's shoulder, enjoying the intimate contact. "Nothing really. Gavin's at school and Lila's at work, so we have the house to ourselves. I feel like having a movie marathon cuddled up with you, if that's okay. I mean it sounds really lame for our last day here, and I'll take you out if you want, really it's your decision-"
Gail put a hand over Holly's mouth, "a movie day sounds great. It's been awhile since we got to do it." She kissed the top of her head before removing her hand.
"Are you sure? Because we can have it when we get back, and today I could show you around like we had planned before... Y'know."
"Before I pulled a Gail and ignored you?"
"Yeah, you could call it that." Holly chuckled gently, the vibration felt through Gail's body.
Gail smiled contently. She liked waking up being held by Holly, listening to her laugh and watching as a smile spread across her features. She hated how they got this though, how pain and loss brought them to the best morning she'd ever had -and it's only been a matter of minutes.
"What're we going to start with?" Gail asked rubbing her eyes.
"You get first pick, and then we'll take turns. And before you ask, no series do not count as one movie, no matter how incomplete it is to only watch one." Holly poked her collarbone for emphasis and rolled over the blonde.
Gail didn't dare move an inch as Holly aligned their body's, putting full weight onto her, before she was gone all together, leaving a rush of cold air into the warm cave of the blankets.
"Come make coffee while I make breakfast for us." Holly used her sweet-honey voice -the one that left Gail weak in the knees- as she exited the bedroom.
Gail had tried to stay focused on the movies, she really did, but she couldn't take her mind off of Holly and Tash. They had so much love for one another, it showed in the way Holly said her name, in the twinkle of her eye as she described the woman. And Gail just knew that it was returned with the same veracity.
It all twirled and circled around her head until about the third movie, when her heart ache turned to a vice grip on her chest as she thought of Tash. The woman was so much better for Holly, she wouldn't have ran from the brunette after overhearing a phone call. No, Tash would have brought it up and talked about with Holly like an adult. She also wouldn't worry Holly every time she left the house for work. She made Holly laugh, and she got her out of the house, and she played softball with her, and she cooked, and she had no problems with sharing her feelings. Unlike Gail.
Holly deserved someone like Tash, she deserved to never have had to go through that pain, and she definitely deserved someone way more then Gail. Gail was a wreck. They'd only been in each other's lives again for just over a month and she'd already hurt the brunette unforgivably, just for being herself. They shouldn't even be friends, it didn't make any sense. Gail was no good for Holly, but she wanted to be, so she formed a checklist of all the things she needed to change in order to be.
"What'cha thinking about?" Holly asked, taking her eyes off of the screen and turning them onto the blonde above her.
"Nothing." Gail shrugged off the concerned gaze.
Holly sifted onto her back so she didn't have to strain her neck to look at her friend. "That's not true. And how I know is because you didn't sing Make A Man Out Of You just now. So, what's up?"
Gail bit the inside of her cheek. What could she say? Holly wouldn't just drop it, Gail knew that from experience, so she'd have to say something. Holly didn't seem very worried, the question was more out of curiosity than anything else.
"Would you believe me if I said food?" Gail raised a questioning brow.
Holly studied the blonde's face. "It is a very believable topic for you."
Gail smiled. Or tried to, she could see the disbelief in the gentle brown eyes staring back at her, but if Holly was going to take what she just gave her than Gail wasn't going to complain. They stayed like that for a moment, Gail begging herself not to suddenly get up and excuse herself to the bathroom, as she watched Holly decide her next move.
"I could go for some lunch right now, what kinda food were you thinking of?"
"I'm thinking doughnuts." Gail didn't hesitate in answering.
Holly broke out into a wide smile. "Of course. How could I have ever thought any other answer would come out of your mouth." She shook her head playfully.
"Cheese puffs are a thing, Lunchbox." She reminded the brunette, happy to have the weird tension gone.
Holly abruptly scrambled to her feet, leaving Gail's lap cold, and went to the stair case without a word. Gail watched her, loving the way her legs looked in the small shorts as they climbed the stairs, her muscles tensing and contracting with every step. She almost didn't hear Holly call her name at the top of the steps, she was in a such a daze.
By the time Gail got to Holly's room the brunette was already dressed and brushing her hair. She tried not to viably gulp as she took in the outfit.
Gail cleared her throat and turned to busy herself with finding clothes. "Why are we getting dressed on movie day?"
"We are going out for lunch, so we have to look like functioning adults." Holly sounded closer than where Gail last saw her. "I wouldn't recommend those pants or that sleeve shirt, you'd die before we got to the bakery."
Gail huffed and shoved what she was going to wear back into her suitcase. "Then what should I wear?" She crossed her arms and spun around to find Holly a step away.
The doctor smirked and moved in beside Gail so she could rummage in the rather small bag of luggage. After a few seconds she stopped and gave Gail a look.
"There's not one piece of summer clothing in here."
Gail smiled in return. "I rushed while packing, and all of my cooler clothes were dirty."
"Well, you can't go out in this heat wearing any of this, so I guess you'll have to borrow some of my clothes." Holly gestured wildly, as if there was no other choice, and shuffled over to her dresser.
Gail tried not to think too hard about wearing Holly's clothes. About smelling like her all day. And especially about how Holly had worn them, how Holly's skin had felt the same soft material hers was, and probably sweated on -which was kind of gross but sexy in a weird way.
Obviously the not thinking about didn't work so well as Gail slid into a pair of jean shorts and a low cut tank top. Both were a bit big on her, the shirt that would have landed perfectly on Holly hung lower than intended on Gail. She shrugged it off, putting it down to the loose fit would let a breeze in.
Once dressed and ready, they headed out the door. They walked -much to Gail's disdain- into town and to a little bakery just down the street from The Enchanted Florist.
The pastries were warm out of the oven, and just as mouth watering as Holly had always described. They ate with little talking, mostly because Gail was distracted by the little pieces of heaven she was chewing, and she could tell Holly was working on something in her head. She could tell because Holly had her puzzle face on, all furrowed brow, twisting lips, and distant eyes. It was adorable to say the least.
After lunch they decided to drop into the flower shop to bring Mr. Stewart a few of his favourite danishes.
The chime from the bell rang their presence as they entered the forestry of flowers. Gail's breath still caught at the sight, it was just so beautiful and the intermixing scents hit with a hard punch to her all of her senses, she could see herself working there for the rest of her life and never getting tired of it.
"Hey Pops! Gail and I were in the neighborhood, and thought we'd bring you a treat." Holly raised her voice so she could be heard from all corners of the shop.
Gail trailed a hand over a row of gerber daisies, delighted in the feel of soft peddles against her fingers, as she listened to Holly seamlessly walk over to the desk in the far left corner and drop the bag of goodies onto the hardwood. Mr. Stewart came shuffling into the room in seconds, the wide Stewart smile set in its rightful place.
"Hey, Sunshine." He pulled Holly into an embrace, kissing the top of her head before continuing. "It's been quite some time since I've had a surprise visit like this from you."
"Too long, I know." Holly smiled back.
The greying brunet turned to Gail, just as happy to see her as his daughter, and he crossed the room to give her a hug also.
"Thank you for the goodie bag." He spoke in Gail's ear but she knew it was for both of them.
"No problem, Mr. Stewart." Gail rocked back and forth from the balls of her feet to her heels. She felt a little awkward, she wasn't used to so much love and praise, and the Stewart's were nothing but that.
"Please, call me Henry." He pat her arm with affection, then rubbed his hands together as he approached the white paper bag on his desk.
Holly caught her eye then, the doctor was watching her with close eyes, one side of her mouth curled up in an almost crooked smile. Gail's heart fluttered.
Henry left out a satisfied sigh as he savoured his first bite. "I don't know how he does it." He mumbled in awe more to himself then anyone else. "What're you ladies up to today?"
Gail looked to Holly, she had no plans, today was more for the brunette than her. Holly shifted, buying time Gail thought.
"I was maybe thinking of bringing Tash some flowers, it's been a while." Holly didn't meet anyone's eyes, her voice was small and unsure.
"I think that's a great idea." Gail surprised herself by saying.
"I'll gather the usual bouquet?" Henry asked as he brushed off his hands on his pants. Holly didn't answer so he took it as a yes, and set out to make it.
Gail lingered in her spot for a moment, unsure of what to do or say. Holly didn't seem very comfortable in stating her plan, probably because she wasn't sure how to tell Gail, she probably wanted to be alone. But she couldn't handle seeing Holly act the way she was, not after the previous nights confession, Holly deserved to never feel bad again after what she's been though, and Gail would do everything in her power to see that happen. Her need to protect Holly had grown twice as strong in the past few days. So she shuffled over to Holly and placed a hand on either of her forearms.
"If you want to be alone, that's fine. I can get home by myself, or I could walk you there and wait by the road or something, whatever you want." Gail soothed, bending down a bit so she could try and catch her eyes.
Holly sniffed and looked up. "Would it be weird if I ask you to meet her?"
Gail let out a teasing smile. "Are you asking me if it would be weird for you, to ask me, to meet your dead fiancée?"
Holly gave a breathy laugh, nodding her head.
"I would love to, Hol." She smiled briefly, keeping eye contact, and then kissed Holly's cheek before letting go of her arms and taking a step back.
Holly's cheeks were a light shade of pink when Henry came back with a beautiful arrangement for her.
"I can't believe the camp allows nerds in."
"Weird nerds like you should all be put in one camp so you done infect all the rest."
Gail listened to the kids taunts, her fits bunching into tight fists as they continued to spit harsh words at the girl. She was told to make friends, to not get into any trouble -threatened to not be sent home or have the camp call without an emergency-, Gail tried to ignore the bullying. But the biggest boy stepped just a little too close to the girl, he got in her face sending all of Gail's alarms to shrill, but still she kept to herself.
Don't do it. Don't do it. Keep to yourself. Mom will have your head if you don't. Don't do it.
The boy slammed the book from the girls arms onto the ground, and stepped on it, getting into her face to sneer one last thing. And that was it's, Gail snapped. A fire ignited in her chest, bigger and brighter than she'd ever experienced before, an overwhelming need to protect the girl crashed over her.
No one, no one got away with being that big of an asshole. Gail hated bullies and that dirt faced kid was one, and Gail was going to set him straight.
"Hey!" Gail yelled, grabbing the attention of he group.
The kid in the girls face took one look at Gail and went back to what he had been doing. So she got close, lined up the shot, tapped him on the shoulder and when he turned Gail punched him square in the jaw.
The group all erupted into ooos of praise for the small blonde.
Gail didn't listen, she bent down and picked up the book, after dusting it off she passed it back to the girl. "I'm sorry about these pig headed kids."
The girl brought her gaze up from the ground and met Gail's eyes, a shake of a smile dared to split across her face.
"Thank you." She whispered.
"No problem, he had it coming." Gail shrugged as if it wasn't a big deal, like she punches boys twice her size all the time.
The girl held out a hand, "I'm Holly."
"Gail." She took the proffered hand and shook it like she saw her parents do all the time, even if it was a little weird.
The gravestone was simple. It was a smooth reddish colour, with Tash's whole name written boldly at the top, her last name hyphenated with Stewart. Gail would be lying if she said she wasn't a little jealous at the title. Tash's stone was well taken care of, no doubt visited often for weedings and such.
Holly traced her hand over Tash's name, a sad smile tugging at her lips, before she placed the flowers at the foot of the stone and sat in front of it. She took a deep breath and pulled Gail down to her side, silently telling her to join.
Once settled -Gail felt very weird sitting on someone's grave, let alone Holly's ex fiancée-, Holly took Gail hand in hers and spoke quietly. "Hey, Tash. I know it's been a while, but as you know I moved to Toronto, so I've been really busy with work and settling into the city. But I'm here for a quick visit, Kim and Owen finally got married. It was beautiful, out at the old barn, you would have loved it."
Gail's heart was clenching while listening to Holly talk to Tash, this was a private thing, but the brunette kept playing with their clasped hands and her head had found a resting spot on Gail's should we so there was no leaving.
"I um, I brought someone for you to meet." Holly looked to Gail for permission, for encouragement. So she have the brunette a nod. "Tash, this is Gail, Gail this is Tash."
"I've been told you're a fan." Gail waved to what she assumed was what they were talking to. Holly giggled and bumped her shoulder into Gail's. "It's an honour to meet you, Tash, our Holly has told me all about you."
An hour went by, Holly updated Tash on the news of the world and family, telling Tash of their reuniting, and other funny stories of their past month together, that then reminded her of stories of Tash. Gail loved it, listening to Holly tell her side of things, listening to Holly's smooth voice alone was enough for Gail to get lost in. She liked teasing Holly about how wrong she was with certain details, and then turning to Tash and explaining how it really happened.
By the end they were lying on their backs in much the same way at the wedding, and again it spread a warmth through Gail like no other, just talking and reminiscing as they watched the dimming rays of sunlight shine through the leaves above them.
"I don't know about you, but I'm starving."
"What kind of question is that, Lunchbox, I'm always starving."
Holly giggled. "Right. My bad." She rolled her head to the side, facing Gail, "we should get going. It wouldn't be fair to leave dinner up to LaLa and Gavin again, plus mom and dad are joining since its our last night."
Gail turned too, their noses a breath away. It took a moment for her to gain control over herself again, to catch her breath and clear some of the fog in her head. Holly was just so beautiful, and so close, close enough that she could just turn her head up a bit and be able to kiss her. Just like her body was urging her to do. But that would be all kinds of wrong. Not only because a surprise kiss would be very risky, that doing so could cost her their friendship -a friendship she cherished very dearly-, but they were laying on Holly's ex fiancée's grave...
"Yeah." She breathed out.
And just like that Holly was gone. Gail closed her eyes and composed herself before standing up too.
"I'll be back as soon as I can. I love you, Tash, try and stay out of trouble." Holly blew a kiss and started for the dirt path that lead all through the graveyard.
Gail waited till Holly was out of hearing distance and turned to the stone she'd spent the last hour talking to. "If I believed in these sorts of things, I'd bet it was you who crossed our paths again, so thank you, Tash. I promise I'll do my best to take care of her."
"You coming?"
Gail spun around to be met with a huge crooked smile, the one that reached all the way to her eyes making them twinkle with delight, she couldn't help but smile back just as big. She meant her promise, she would do everything in her power to care for Holly. "Yeah." With a contented sigh Gail jogged over to the brunette.