Breaking Point 23
The rest of the gang didn't come to visit until much later in the day. Tuffnut shooed them away until Hiccup got everything off his chest and felt reasonably normal and then brought them in one by one. That wasn't exactly easy with people like Snotlout and Astrid who pretty much pushed their way in and even Ruffnut got a little pushy with her need to see Hiccup back on his feet. It was a little overwhelming at first and Hiccup tried to keep a wide berth as he fought to control his breathing and stayed within Toothless's protective warmth. What had happened to Hiccup was never mentioned, a topic that was off limits until such time Hiccup felt like opening up to everyone. Of course Snotlout hinted at it, trying to get his younger cousin to open up only to fail miserably and nearly get kicked out of the hut. It prompted everyone else to avoid the subject all together. So they stuck to mundane things like what type of new pranks the twins were planning that the others immediately shot down.
Hiccup tried to act interested and smiled and nodded at the appropriate times but Henryk was already whispering in the back of his mind and anytime one of the guys touched his it sent a thrill through him that had him back paddling in near panic. Having so many people all around him was just a little too overwhelming and not even Toothless's calming presence was enough to keep him calm. He needed Dagur, he realized as he shifted next to Toothless. It made no sense really; he had spent almost all night with the Berserker so Henryk should have been sated. Obviously he wasn't. Or maybe it was the nervous chattering of his friends that was getting on his nerves. He had lost interest in whatever Fishlegs was yammering on about. He was pretty sure it was some statistic about a new dragon, something that Hiccup would normally be all over and wanting to study it along with his robust friend but he couldn't pay attention, not even when Snotlout and Ruffnut started heckling him.
"Hey, guys, maybe we should give Hiccup his space," Tuffnut suddenly said, surprising everyone. "This might all be a little much for him."
Hiccup barely noticed.
"What are you talking about?" Ruffnut demanded of his twin, looking as if she might smack her twin but immediately stop when he gave her a look. She glanced toward Hiccup, made a soft sound in the back of her throat then nodded. "Yeah, okay," she finally agreed.
"Oh, are you tired, Hiccup?" Fishlegs asked, suddenly nervous and worried over his friend's mental condition. Stoick had warned that they would only be able to spend short amounts of time with Hiccup for the first while and not to push him.
Snotlout gave a snort. "What are you talking about? He slept an entire week and hasn't even left the house since coming home," he complained before turning to his younger cousin. "You should do what my Dad says, get up and out of the house and embrace life again. It could have been worse. They could have killed you."
Hiccup's eyes darkened as he glared at his cousin. "They did," he growled, Henryk rearing his head in challenge of Snotlout's words.
Snotlout gaped at him, not sure how to respond. He turned to Astrid for guidance but she looked just as shocked.
"Okay, well good visit. We're leaving now," Tuffnut said, standing and motioning for the others to do the same. "H, if you need me…"
Hiccup – Henryk – gave a curt nod and turned away from them to tend the fire, a cold shiver racing down his spine as two personalities fought for control. He jumped when a hand fell on his shoulder and spun around with a gasp as if he had been burned. Astrid blinked up at him, startled by the violent reaction.
"Hiccup," she started, guilt, fear and worry in her voice. "I'm sorry. I never meant for this to happen. Heather didn't either. Maybe if we just told you right from the beginning we wouldn't have lost the Dragon Eye and none of this would have happened."
His eyes softened if only a fraction and he let her hug him. It wasn't like before though, when he felt warmth and comfort in her arms. That seemed to be missing now. He felt hollow inside as if something was missing, something so important that it caused an ache inside him that he couldn't fix. Closing his eyes he hugged her just a little tighter and tried to ignore that strange hollow feeling or the way his flesh seemed to burn at her touch. Things were never going to be the same again between them and he mourned that loss.
The collar of his shirt shifted as they embraced and the dark purple hicky came into view for all to see. Luckily only Astrid saw it. She gasped, her eyes going wide before tugging the collar back into place and looking him in the eye with confusion. Her mouth opened then closed and opened again like a fish out of water. "Hiccup?" she whispered so only he heard her.
He touched it but didn't explain it. "I'm sorry," was all he said.
She stared at him for a long minute. "Who did that to you?" he demanded, her voice growing a little louder but by then the other riders had already left and they were alone.
"You should go," Hiccup said, his voice firm with a hint of Henryk peeking through.
Again her jaw worked but no sound came from her. She closed her eyes, took a deep breath then turned on her heel and marched out of the hut.
Toothless warbled and pressed against Hiccup's side, utterly confused by what had just transpired between the two humans. Hiccup touched his head and heaved a sigh. "I know, bud. I love her, too, I just don't know if I'm in love with her anymore. I don't know a lot of things these days." His eyes stung with the threat of tears again and he pressed his hand against the hicky, wishing Dagur hadn't marked him them. Dagur could have marked him anywhere, why did he have to do it in a place that was so easily spotted. Hiccup grunted as he lowered his hand. Knowing the Berserker, that was probably the whole point.
His stomach twisted at the thought of Dagur. Maybe Snotlout was right in his own strange way. Maybe it was time to go outside, get a little sun and…well it wouldn't exactly be getting back to normal but a quick flight and visit to the prison was an order. He gave Toothless a tight smile. "Want to go flying?"
An excited look filled the Nightfury's face and he bounded about excitedly. It would be the first time in months they had flown together. It felt like a life time for both of them. Hiccup fumbled as he put Toothless's flight gear on him, the straps and buckled feeling alien to his fingers after so long yet at the same time it felt natural. His hands shook as he did up the buckles. "Aw geez, I haven't had this much trouble trying to do this up since your first tailfin," he remarked when he was finally done and reached for the saddle. He took a deep breath and settled it on Toothless's back then strapped it into place as well. He took a deep breath. "Okay, bud. One quick fly around town then let's go see Dagur. Oh, don't give me that look. You have no idea what it's like with another person in your head." He waved a long finger at Toothless. "And this doesn't mean I forgive him for all the crap he's done it just means he's the lesser of three evils not some hero. Although I guess I do owe him my life."
Toothless gave a low growl then swatted him over the head.
"Yeah, yeah… I don't question who you fool around with," Hiccup countered.
The dragon grunted and rolled his eyes but once they were outside he crouched low so that his rider could climb on and once Hiccup was settled he took to the air. It was like experiencing it for the first time all over again, exhilarating and thrilling, the rush of air whipping through his short hair and tugging at his clothing. Hiccup felt like himself again and Henryk went hiding in the lowest reaches of his mind. It wasn't long before Hiccup sat up straight in his saddle, threw up his arms and gave a whoop of glee. Now this was living. He took a deep breath of fresh air and laughed.
What was meant to be only a few minutes of flight time turned into well over an hour before he remembered his earlier plans and had Toothless land near the prison. The sun was beginning the set, the sky turning a pretty shade of pink and purple. Perhaps he could use a mix of Toothless and Dagur therapy with a side of Tuffnut to pour his soul to. That would be weird to regulate but he was confident that if anyone could do it he could, which was a testament to how much better he was feeling after days of hiding in his father's hut refusing to see anyone until today. There was a bounce in his step as he neared the prison and he was even able to give Bucket a smile when he saw the fisherman was the prison guard that afternoon although he did avoid being touched at all cost, his fingers barely meeting the man's when he convinced Bucket to give him the keys to the cell because of that strange burning feeling that happened when anyone touched him, anyone but his father, Gobber, Tuffnut – oddly enough – and Dagur who brought about a completely different feeling.
"Good to see you up and about, lad," Bucket beamed, always nice to Hiccup from the day the boy was born. "You be careful with that one. Berserkers are a crazy lot and that there is the craziest of them all." He bent his head towards Hiccup as if to tell him a secret. "It's the quiet ones you got to watch and Dagur has been way too quiet since he got here. Of course he asks about you every few hours but that's about it so I suggest you keep a wide berth and use little words."
Hiccup tried not to laugh and instead bobbed his head up and down. "Don't worry, Bucket, I won't let him out of my sight," he promised.
Bucket grinned and tapped the bucket on his head in salute before taking off. "Great, I need to find something to eat. Mulch is taking forever. I told him not to talk to the Heather girl. She's just going to try and break her brother out at some point."
Hiccup highly doubted that. Heather and Dagur were still at odds as far as he knew. She'd probably make Dagur sit in prison and cool his heels for a few more days then lecture him endlessly about the death of her adopted tribe and threaten to kill him before breaking him up. Yep, there was no denying they were related. In fact Heather was there already and in the midst of an old fashion staring contest with her big brother.
"Are we interrupting?" Hiccup asked as he stepped into the prison with Toothless.
Two heads jerked toward him, both surprised but only one breaking into a big grin as Heather all but dove at him and embraced him tightly. "You're okay!" she cried.
Hiccup staggered back and the horrid burning sensation came back but he hugged her back if only for a moment or two. "I'm okay," he assured before letting her go and stepping back. "Can I have a few minutes alone with Dagur?"
Concern filled her face and she glanced from him to Dagur then back and then to Toothless. Emotions warred on her face until finally she bit her lip and nodded. "You two really are…?"
The boy looked toward Dagur and shrugged. "I guess. It's a little hard to explain."
She worried her bottom lip then nodded. "Okay, but I'm here if you want to talk." She gave his shoulder a squeeze as she walked past. "Dag, behave," she yelled over her shoulder before encouraging Toothless to follow her. Sparing one last look at the two boys she left.
Hiccup waited until she and Toothless were gone before approaching the cell. Pulling out the key he unlocked the heavy iron door and stepped inside.
"What are you doing?" Dagur asked, perplexed as Hiccup locked the door behind him before throwing the key outside the cell and out of reach. "Uh…I think you missed the point of a jailbreak. First you unlock the door, let the prisoner out then throw away the key. Or if you're going to come in you leave the door open so we can both leave," Dagur explained as if talking to a small child.
Hiccup just looked at him before sighing and leaning against the wall. "Dad wants you in a cell and I'm not going to fight him on the subject but you're the only one that can keep Henryk at bay so if that means I have to stay here with you to keep sane then this is where we stay."
Dagur raised a surprised brow. "What did they do to you?" he wondered as he looked Hiccup over. He knew about Hiccup's mind being broken and turned into two personalities, one Hiccup the other Henryk and for a long time Hiccup had been considered dead by the Hunters and only showing itself from time to time when he could muster the strength to push back Henryk but he had never been told the full story of how that came about. It would help in the healing process but Hiccup shook his head and didn't delve into it.
"I think I talked it out enough with Tuffnut already," Hiccup said instead as he stared at his feet. He gave a little smirk. "I don't think I can handle another breakdown today. I mean, I just chased my friends out of my house because I was feeling claustrophobic."
"So you come here to hide out in a tiny cell with me?" Dagur countered with a grin as he approached the youth. "Your logic eludes me."
"Well…it's not like that's the first time."
"Oh oh! The funny's back."
Hiccup rolled his eyes but his lips curled up into a smile. "I just didn't want to be alone."
Dagur gave him a look. "So you chase away the Greek Chorus and come here to be with me because you didn't want to be alone even though you had a house full of people? That's makes perfect sense."
"You can be a crowd and still be alone," Hiccup pointed out with a sudden frown and mentally cursing himself for throwing away the key. This might have been a bad idea. "They don't understand what happened. I mean, how could they? I guess I'm scared."
"I haven't seen you this scared since you were little," Dagur mused as he walked toward Hiccup. "Not even when they tortured you. You've always been a defiant little prick." He studied the younger boy for a moment. "Hiccup, I'm sorry. If I hadn't…do you remember when we first had sex?"
Hiccup frowned at him. "You climbed into bed with me after…" His voice trailed off.
"That's the night when they first raped you?" Dagur leaned against the way next to him.
Hiccup nodded.
"You probably don't remember because you had been tortured so much before that, the electroshock therapy and what not but the first time we had sex was during one of those sessions," Dagur confessed.
The look of astonishment and confusion that filled Hiccup's face brought a thrill to Dagur and he explained further. "See I didn't know that being shocked could make the body do some of the crazy things yours did and well…I got to say it was a turn on. So I did something that I wanted to for a very…very long time."
"Oh Dagur…" Hiccup groaned, suddenly understanding. He thumped his head against the wall with an unamused laugh. "You are more deranged than I ever gave you credit for." He pressed his hands over his eyes. Taking a deep breath he lowered them and stared outside the cell. "So let me get this straight. I was brutally tortured and at some point you thought what? That raping me might help get whatever they wanted out of me? Or maybe show them if they wanted a good time pound on me from the inside as oppose to the outside? Dagur, what were you thinking? Wait, I don't even want to know. I don't know why I thought for even a moment you actually cared for me and – mumph!"
Dagur pressed him against the wall and kissed him deeply. "You talk too much," he growled when he pulled back.
Hiccup's hands knotted in the fabric of Dagur's tunic. "You son of a bitch," he cursed, surprising them both when his fists hit hard flesh. "How could you? You call me your brother yet you raped me over and over again. You're just as bad as they were!"
"I never did anything you didn't want," Dagur argued, his voice low as he loomed over Hiccup, his lips only inches from Hiccup's. "You wanted me. I begged for me, for some form of release. Every time you were shocked you would get hard but near the end you couldn't cum anymore. I made you cum. I took care of you like I promised our father's I would do when you were born. I did everything I could to save you. I tried to make you give Viggo the information he wanted so you wouldn't be killed but you're so bloody stubborn. Everything I did I did for you."
"Why?" Hiccup breathed, not understanding what could possess a man to do what Dagur had done. He searched the Berserker's gaze wondering how much of that deranged insanity was real and how much an act.
"Because you belong to me. You're mine. You've always been mind and you will always be mine," Dagur answered. This time he kissed Hiccup more gently, his hands roaming over Hiccup's lithe form. "You were mine the moment our father's asked me to protect you as I would a younger brother but you were always so much more to me." His ran two fingers along Hiccup's jaw. "But you choose a dragon over me. Imagine how that made me feel."
Hiccup couldn't. He tried but he couldn't. Instead he leaned back against the wall feeling utterly lost again. "What are we doing?" he asked, unsure if he was talking to Dagur or Henryk. He swallowed the lump in his throat as he gazed out over the growing darkness barely visible from Dagur's cell. He expected Dagur to try kissing him again but instead the Berserker only pressed his forehead to Hiccup's and stroked his arm.
"I've asked that question every day since we went to war," Dagur grumbled before leaning on the wall next to Hiccup. "What do you want to do?"
The younger boy blinked back tears. "I just want things to go back to normal. You know Viggo offered me a chance to explore with him and see dragon species we don't have here. I could have had the Dragon Eye back and everything I ever wanted if I just said yes."
"But you didn't."
"Sometimes I think I should have." He wiped at his eyes.
Dagur said nothing and for a long time silence reigned between them. "I'm happy you didn't," Dagur finally said. "Of course if you did I simply would have kidnapped you and knock some sense back into you."
For a moment Hiccup didn't answer and then he gave a small grin and shook his head in bemusement. "And you've been doing such a good job of that with the dragon issue."
"Don't challenge me unless you can handle the beating I can give you."
"After what I've endured a beating from you is no worse than wrestling with a two ton Nightfury," Hiccup taunted, a challenge in his voice and a hint of Henryk surfacing.
They stared at each other for a long moment before Hiccup moved forward, intent on initiating this time, of feeling some sort of control in their relationship. A cough stopped him and he absently glanced to his left. His eyes widened when his emerald gaze met sapphire. "Astrid," he breathed before realizing he was in a rather compromising position. Dagur's large hands were on his hips and face only a breath away but Hiccup felt numb, stiff as a statue and unable to move or say more.
The look of horror in her face was heartbreaking. She didn't saw a word, her face expressing it all as she dropped the keys she had picked up a few moments ago then turned around so quickly her hair whipped around her shoulders and a moment later she ran out of the prison, shoving an equally surprised Tuffnut out of her way. A choked sob was all that could be heard.
Tuffnut stumbled back, his eyes wide as well but he was a little more composed having already learned about the situation directly from Hiccup earlier. "You okay?" he called, eyeing the key on the ground but he didn't go for. He waited long enough for Hiccup to assure him he was fine before racing after Astrid.
The shield maiden was fast but in her anguish she stumbled into the village before darting across the square to the shadows between buildings so that no one would stop or question her. Tuffnut did though. He practically jumped on her when she refused to answer his calls. It was a dangerous move, she could easily kick his ass without so much as a second thought, but he had the element of surprise and while he didn't knock her to the ground he did manage to wrap her in a warm embrace.
"Stop," he pleaded, trying to keep her arms down so she wouldn't throw him. "Stop…you don't understand."
"What is there to understand?" she countered, trying to shrug him off only for Tuffnut to turn into some sort of spider monkey and wrap his lanky form right around her, his entire weight pinning her arms. "Get off me!" she snarled. "I get it. He doesn't love me anymore. He found someone new." She wasn't going to say Dagur because the mere thought disgusted her.
"Are you insane?" he shot back. "He loves you, Astrid. Hiccup is crazy about you. Did Stoick tell you anything about what happened when the Hunters had him?"
She stilled, her heart still racing but willing to listen. So he told her. He didn't go into the details but highlighted on the medical evidence that Stoick had given him before asking him to council Hiccup. He kept it matter of fact, blunt and to the point, utterly serious and no hint of a joke or prank even when he explained how Hiccup's mind had split in two and Henryk was created. She listened intently, her anger subsiding as they sat together in the darkness.
"Dagur is the only one who can control Henryk. We need him. Despite everything he's done we need Dagur," he finished as he kicked at the dirt. He gave her a rare serious look. "You can't tell anyone. I was supposed to keep this secret but I wasn't going to let you or him lose what you two have." He shrugged. "I guess you're just going to have to figure out how to fit Dagur in."
She groaned. "I can't even imagine how THAT is supposed to work." She tugged at her braid. She glanced out toward the town square where the central fire burned brightly. All the towers were lit, casting a warm glow over the village.
A sudden flapping of tens of thousands of wings broke them from their revelry. It wasn't the sound of regular dragon wings but of something far smaller and far more numerous. "What's that?" Tuffnut asked as he got to his feet.
"I don't know," Astrid whispered. They couldn't see anything at first and then a black mass moved in between the towers like a hoard of wasps or hornets. They moved slowly at first like a lazy cloud and then a blood curdling scream filled the village.
"FEAR DRAGONS!" Fishlegs shrieked and a moment later the tiny nano dragons descended on the village of Berk and all its people and with them chaos ensued.