Wow, I'd like to thank all of you for your supports! This is amazing. I wanted to post it on last Thursday but something happened. I'm sorry for the delay! Hope you enjoy it!^^

Elijah appears on the next chapter!

Disclaimer: I own nothing but Vanessa and Cassandra

Chapter 2: I'm Dead to You

My parents were dead. My siblings were alive though. Aunt Jenna was alive and well too. And I was offered a chance to live again, as a vampire this time. Do I want to be a vampire? No. Do I want to live? Yes. Do I want to give up everything and not become a monster?

I took a deep breath and ran my hands across my face before exhaling.

I glanced at the sun, it was past noon. And the sun was hurting my eyes. My ears and sight were sharper as well that it brought me headache. Can I be under the sun after becoming a vampire? Katherine didn't have any problem though. I didn't remember if there was anything written in the Gilbert journals about vampires being able to walk under the sun. I sighed and and walked out of the room, and headed downstairs where Katherine was watching TV.

"Took you long enough," she commented, her eyes were still glued on the screen.

"Just get it over with," I said and she looked at me.

"You can't think of it as a burden. Think of it as a chance to live. Be grateful," she told me and I sighed. Be grateful, be grateful, be grateful.

"Who's that?" I asked when Katherine called upon a young girl, no older than me.

"Your lunch," she replied dryly and I rolled my eyes. Katherine's face changed and she brought the girl's wrist to her lips and bit it. She took a sip before pulling away and offered me the wrist.

"You're kidding, right?" I asked, staring blankly at the girl's bleeding wrist. But she wasn't. And even though I wouldn't admit it, the blood did smell good. I gulped down my saliva, feeling my mouth watered at the sight and smell of the blood. I didn't even realize I had walked towards the girl. Slowly, I brought her wrist to my lips and latched my mouth around her wound. Her blood entered my mouth and it tasted better than the marinated lamb ribs that I just had a couple nights ago. It exploded in my mouth, filling me and satisfying me. I pulled away from her, looking at the girl's emotionless face.

I just drank her blood.

And it felt so right.

"Elena, just because you have known Matt since babies, it doesn't mean you have to date him!" Vanessa said frustratingly. She was the only one who can see through Elena yet her sister wasn't really listening to her. Elena sighed.

"But it seems right. Everyone expected us to be a couple," Elena shrugged. She didn't really want to talk about it right now. She wasn't in the mood for it.

"You don't have to listen to what everyone says, idiot," Vanessa scolded and Elena scrunched her nose in distaste. Vanessa was always the rebellious one while Elena was the good girl.

"I'm not you, Nessie," Elena said and Vanessa stopped walking.

"Is that an insult?" she asked and Elena laughed.

"No, it's not. What about you? All you do is flirt around and break more hearts," Elena said and Vanessa rolled her eyes.

"There's no one for me. I'm not going to date someone that...I know won't end up forever with me," Vanessa said and Elena pursed her lips. The brunette hugged her sister's arm and gave her a mischievous grin.

"Then it's gonna take you literally forever before you find that man," Elena said and Vanessa gasped dramatically.

"Besides I can see you're already bored with him. Matt's the 'nice guy'. I'm sure you want something more," Vanessa said, shrugging. "Just break up with him, for that poor boy's sake!"

"I'm not as bold as you," Elena said. "I can't break up with him. I don't want to hurt him," Elena admitted with a heavy sigh.

"This can't go on forever, you know," Vanessa said and Elena glared at her twin sister.

"Yeah, I know," Elena said and sighed.

"Whatever it is, I'm here for you," Vanessa told her and smiled.

"Yeah, I know," she said with a content smile.

"Vanessa."

That was the first word that escaped Elena's lips. She was wearing a breathing mask, and her hand was pierced with various needles, connecting her with the IV drip. She was feeling numb, but she can still feel how Vanessa's hand slipped from her grip. That thought feared Elena terribly. Where was her sister? Was she alright?

"Oh, thank god! You're awake!" Jenna exclaimed almost hysterically. Her eyes were red and her pale cheeks were stained with tears, at the loss of her sister and niece. "Jeremy, call the doctor!" Jenna ordered and Elena heard the rushing footsteps of Jeremy.

"Where's she?" Elena managed to utter that question. Her throat was dry and her body was aching. "Aunt Jenna, where is she?" Elena asked again, this time with more force on her voice. Jenna looked away, she had been pondering on how to tell Elena the grief news. And now, she had too. The doctor walked in, and Jenna was glad to step away. She left the room and saw Jeremy leaning against the wall.

"Did you tell her?" Jeremy croaked, almost coming to tears at the thought of his blonde older sister. Vanessa was so close to Jeremy, always taking care of him. Jeremy was still having a hard time accepting the fact, hoping someone would just yell, 'Fool you!' and Vanessa would be laughing at his face.

But no, this wasn't a prank.

"I'm still waiting for the police," Jenna said. "I'm so sorry, Jeremy. But there's no way Vanessa would survi-"

"Her body wasn't found. There's still a chance that she's alive," Jeremy told Jenna harshly, before leaving the hospital. He made his way passed the nurses, visitors until he was out of the hospital and until he couldn't smell the sickening smell of the medicine. He dropped to his knees, and sobbed. Tears that he had held since he received the news were finally pouring out. He couldn't stop it, it hurt so much.

"Please, just please be alive," he prayed softly and pleadingly. Hoping for a miracle. This was too much for him to handle.

"I don't feel dead," I told Katherine and the older vampire rolled her eyes. "I kinda feel the same. Is it supposed to be that way?" I asked her.

"Try using your vampire speed," Elena's doppelganger suggested and I was about to ask her how. But it came naturally to me. I was on the couch and then I was at the corner in less than a second. "Wow," I said before walking to her. She was about to say something when a searing pain seized me in the hand and I quickly went back to the corner.

"Right, the sun. The sun burns us," I said, looking at my burned, red hand and gaped as I watched it healed. "Wow," I said.

"Just be careful with the sun," Katherine told me as she shut the curtain around the house. "I'll get you one of this," she said, showing me a glimpse of her necklace.

"What is that?" I asked.

"It's a daylight necklace. A witch will spell it and as long as you wear it, you can walk under the sun," she explained.

"Don't you have extras?" I asked and she shook her head.

"It won't work for you," Katherine told and I nodded. "It is also important for you to learn how to fight, it comes in hand-" Katherine couldn't finish her words as I groaned at the sudden sharp pain from my gum. It was as if someone was stabbing it over and over and ripped it opened.

"Oh my God!" I managed to scream, my hand was over my mouth, trying to suppress the stinging pain but nothing would do. I let out a heavy breath once the pain was gone. I cast a glance at the mirror and saw the fangs.

"I'll teach you how to control your hunger later. That's very important too. I don't need you killing every single human you come across with," she said and I glared at her.

"I can control myself, okay?" I snapped and she rolled her eyes.

"And like I said before you interrupted me, hand to hand combat is important. You're gonna need to know how to defend yourself," she said.

"Okay," I said. "What else?"

"Right, there's someone that I want you to meet," she said as she remembered that piece of information.

"Who?" I asked spontaneously and she gave me a knowing smile.

"That'll be a surprise," she said. "You! Come here," Katherine called for the human girl again. She obeyed without a single word and stood in front of me, next to Katherine. "Go on," Katherine said, smirking.

I took a deep breath, listening to her slow and steady heartbeats. Then I smelled the scent of dried blood from her wound just now, and I could hear her blood being pumped. Something came over me; hunger. I felt something-my fangs lowered, and my eyes changed. I tuned my rational thoughts, focusing on the hunger. My mouth watered and I gulped, my saliva didn't sooth my dry throat. I need the blood. Reacting on instinct, I flashed over to the human girl and plunged my fangs into her neck.

Her blood poured out and flowed into my mouth, filling me with great sensation. I held her close, needing more. It tasted much better now that I was a vampire. It filled me with strength and power. I felt Katherine touched my arm, although it felt very distant.

"Stop," she ordered. Her voice seemed far away too. "Vanessa, I need you to stop!" she growled and it became much clearer now. I tried to stop but there was a part of me that said, why should I listen to her? "You're going to kill her!" Katherine said and I snapped out of my thoughts. Kill. Do I kill this human or not? Should I?

I felt myself being pulled away from the human before I was pushed against the wall. "You can kill if you want, but I don't want to deal with you and your guilt. Can you control yourself?"

"Yes," I said, taking a deep breath and ignoring the sweet scent of the blood. I swallowed, wanting to feel the warmth of the blood in my mouth again. "Yes, I can," I said and felt my fangs retracted and my face changed.

"We'll work on that," Katherine said with a smile. "Now you can heal that poor girl with your blood, but if she died with your blood in her system, she'll be a vampire. And you have to compel her to forget."

"How do I compel her?"

"It's like giving orders. You look into their eyes and just tell them," Katherine said and I walked towards the girl.

"Sorry about that," I said, glancing at her wound. "But no blood for you," I said and looked at her in the eye. "Bandage that up and go home. Forget everything that happened here, okay?"

Her pupils dilated and she repeated my orders like a robot. Then she left the house.

"Cool," I said.

"Take a shower, and just wear my clothes for now. We'll leave immediately," Katherine told me and I looked at her.

"Leave?" I asked, frowning.

"You're dead, Vanessa. I don't think you want to stay for your funeral," she told me and left me as well.

Alabama - A week later

A week had passed since I'd died and become a vampire. Everything was alright. No weird things at all. I was myself. Like seriously. It was just that I drink human blood on daily basis. Katherine taught me how to fight and how to defend myself everyday. I spent my time fighting and learning how to control my hunger. But Katherine knew how to have fun, and I loved having fun with her. Despite the eerie feeling I got whenever I looked at her, at the resemblance she had with Elena, I felt my heart clenched.

I missed my family, a lot.

But I distracted myself from thinking about them. When you were a vampire, everything was heightened. The grief was greater. I couldn't think of my parents, Jeremy or Elena at all. If I did, I would break down and lose myself.

One day, Katherine dropped the bomb.

Elena and I were adopted.

And my birth mother was standing right in front of me, Isobel. She was beautiful; ivory skin, stormy grey eyes, button nose, pink lips and thick black hair. Only I felt nothing towards her. She was a stranger to me. Miranda was my mom. Not her.

"I'm sorry, but you're not my mother," I said, surprised at how cold my tone was. Isobel took a sharp breath and tried not to look hurt. She looked at me with her grey eyes, and although she seemed emotionless, a cold surface like Katherine, I could see the warmth in her eyes. She missed me.

"I'm sorry that I left, but it was for the best."

"It doesn't matter," I said. "It's already too late," I told her and walked hurriedly upstairs, into my room. Deep breath, Vanessa. Don't lose it.

"You okay?" Katherine asked. I was at the balcony, enjoying the night air. Katherine still hadn't got me a daylight ring or necklace, since not many witches were friendly with vampires. So I had to stay inside during the day which was boring and dull. When I had nothing to do, I will think about my family.

"Yeah," I said half-heartedly.

"You're doing well," she said. It wasn't really a statement, it was more of a question.

"So are you," I countered. "But deep inside, we weren't."

"I spent 500 years running," she told me. "I'd never had a life. It's sad, really."

"I died at the age sixteen. I don't think I'll have my life back," I said and she gave me a bitter laugh. "What's the point of living forever if you don't live your life, right?" I asked her. Katherine didn't look that cold anymore. I could always see the warmth in her. The selfless Katherine that not many people can see.

"It's better than dying," she said, looking at me. "Isn't it?" I shrugged.

"Do you miss your family?" I asked her. She looked away, staring blankly at the air.

"They haunt me, Vanessa. Every day," she said, her voice was so soft that I needed my vampire hearing.

"I missed them. A lot. I feel like I'm going crazy. And then I thought of my parents, and wondered if I made the right choice by being a vampire," I told her, running my hands over my face. I let out a heavy sigh. "I still can't face it. That I won't be able to see them again. Forever. And forever for a vampire, is a very long time."

"You know, Vanessa. There's a switch," Katherine said and I looked up at her. "A humanity switch. Can you feel it?" she asked and I frowned. Feel it? "As a vampire, you can turn it off. It'll hurt less. You wouldn't care at all," Katherine told me and I found what she said was true. I could feel the switch. Not literally, but it was like I could turn everything off. "But whatever happens, NEVER turn it off. Do you understand me?" Katherine asked darkly. Her brown eyes were looking at me intensely, and I nodded.

"Yeah," I replied, a little taken aback by her words. Then I thought to myself. "I would never turn it off," I said, more to myself than to her.

June 22, 2009

"Happy birthday!" My sleep was interrupted by Katherine's loud voice. I felt the pillow underneath my head was pulled away and my head fell with a thud on the bed. Then she hit me with the pillow. "Happy birthday!"

"Why are you so excited?" I groaned, rolling over. Katherine grinned at me.

"Life is good," she said and I frowned, before giving up. Something must had happened to get Katherine Pierce in such a good mood. "Anyway, I've got you this," she said, hitting my head softly with the present.

"What's that?" I asked, and couldn't hide my excitement. I sat up and took the present. Inside was a very beautiful lapis lazuli necklace. The dark blue gemstone seemed to be glinting and I realized I was smiling ear to ear. Then I narrowed my eyes at her.

"You had this for a few days now, didn't you?" I asked her suspiciously and she laughed, confirming my guess. "I was suffering! I couldn't get out at all!" I complained and she just rolled her eyes.

"Put it on, and enjoy your sun!" she said and I grinned as I clasped the necklace around my neck.

"It's really beautiful, thanks," I said genuinely and she waved her hand dismissively.

"We have cake and hot guys downstairs," she told me with a wink, and I laughed as she left the room. I climbed down from my bed and opened the curtain, closing my eyes as I bathed in the sunlight. Then my smile dropped as the realization hit me.

My first birthday without Elena.

The sadness loomed over me and I closed my eyes, trying to shut away the pain. Then I remembered everyone. Caroline's big smile as she talked animatedly about our birthday party that she planned, Jeremy and dad teasing me about not getting me a birthday present, mum's beautiful smile as she wished us happy birthday, and Elena.

I collapsed on the floor and started crying.

Mystic Falls

Dear Diary,

Today's our birthday. It's supposed to be a happy day for us to celebrate. But all I feel is pain. I never celebrate my birthday without Vanessa before but this year and onwards, I'd have to celebrate it alone. Do I actually have to? This is a reminder that I am all alone. It brings me pain so much. Losing mum and dad is already painful enough but losing my twin sister? What have I done to receive this punishment?

Sister, I'm not strong without you. I don't think I can ever get used to this emptiness. I don't have to forget, like Aunt Jenna said. I just have to try to think that you're away for a few days and we'll meet again later. How pathetic is that?

You're my other half, Vanessa. It was like someone ripped my soul into half when they told me you were gone. I don't want to believe them but I'm not a fool either. I wish you were here, sister.

Happy birthday.

Elena wiped the falling tears angrily, angry that she had broken her promise. She promised herself not to cry anymore, but today was the day. When Elena woke up this morning, she had to shut her eyes closed and imagined Vanessa was there. She imagined Vanessa jumping on her bed and forcing her to wake up. She imagined Vanessa's happy and lively laugh when Jeremy made a silly joke. Elena imagined the beautiful pink lips that curved into a sweet smile when Mum wished them a happy birthday. She imagined Vanessa's whines so that Dad would finally give the blonde her birthday present.

But everything was a pathetic imagination. The truth was too bitter.

Vanessa was gone, Vanessa was dead. And she, Elena, was all alone.

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