When Colin O'Donoghue makes a stupidly awesome pirate joke, there was just no way this wasn't going to happen!

It started innocently enough.

Henry sat over a pile of books in a booth at Granny's, his head in his hands as frustrated sighs drifted across the diner. Concerned, Killian slipped into the seat opposite, pushing a frothy milkshake across the table to the boy.

"All well, lad?" he asked. Henry looked up, brows knotted in anger. The boy gathered up several of the offending tomes and dropped them down in front of Killian with a bang.

"Here," he announced. "Take my algebra books. You're the only person I see around here with any need for finding x."

Behind them, there was a snort of laughter. "Nice one, Henry," David chuckled, sliding into the booth next to the pirate. "Just as well it's math you want him to do, though."

Henry looked curiously at his grandfather.

"Well you know that pirates have a lot of trouble with the alphabet," David continued. Killian turned slowly towards him, head cocked and eyes cautious. "They always get lost at 'c'."

It was Henry's turn to snort. The sound, and the accompanying smile on the face of Emma's boy, were a small comfort for Killian in the face of such ridicule - but he had no intention of letting David know that.

"Ah, yes, very droll, Dave. Wonderful. But we have kept Henry from his studies long enough with your attempts at humour. Best leave the lad be." Killian stood to leave, winking at the boy before taking David by the arm. Intent on the counter, he failed to notice the grin twisting his friend's face.

"Sorry about that, Henry," David said over his shoulder. "You know what they say, buddy. To err is human."

The boy didn't skip a beat. "Yeah but to ARRR is pirate."

The high five between grandfather and grandson was both heartwarming and horribly, horribly annoying. He would be the bigger man…

By the time they had gathered for the traditional mid week family dinner at Granny's, it appeared Killian's ability to be the bigger man was to be sorely tested.

Whispers and stifled giggles had accompanied him throughout the week - and that was mostly from his supposed mate, David. Several times Emma and Henry had hidden their phones from his view and even Granny had an unusual twinkle in her eye when he had collected their morning coffees.

It didn't take long to discover just what the prince had been plotting.

"What'll it be, folks?" Granny asked cheerily, pulling a pencil from the depths of her grey hair. She jotted down the orders as she went around the table, few surprises left after so many years together.

"And for you, Captain?"

"I think my usual chicken pie this evening, milady," he answered, ignoring the way Henry's eyes widened as he bit down on his lip.

"Chicken pie it is," Granny finished and headed in the direction of the kitchen.

"Granny," Henry called. "Just checking. There aren't any leeks in that pie, are there?"

The old woman turned slowly, eyes flashing in amusement. "Nope," she said. "I know they are a pirate's least favourite vegetable." She was away before Killian could react.

As the pirate turned an accusing eye to David, Mary Margaret was quick to interject. "Killian, is that a new earring?" she asked. His hand went to his ear, touching the small black stone that he had pilfered from Emma's dresser, a token of sorts, or a promise. He nodded, smiling softly at Emma.

"What did you pay for that?" David asked quickly. "A buck an ear?"

Seated beside him, Emma sucked in her breath, her face moving with what he knew was contained laughter. There was no such control from David, who chuckled openly as Mary Margaret covered her giggle with her hand. Shaking his head, Killian pointed an accusing finger at the smirking prince across the table.

"You are a rat bastard of the highest order, mate."

David's head shifted subtly towards his grandson, their eyes connecting for just a second.

"I know you ARRR but what am AYE?" David countered. Killian's eyes flashed as Henry buried his head in his arms on the table, his shoulders shaking uncontrollably. Mary Margaret wiped her eyes discreetly, her own shoulders unsteady as she fought to control her laughter. Under the table, Emma squeezed his leg, bumping her shoulder against him in an attempt at solidarity.

An attempt that would be, it seemed, short-lived, thanks to the innate timing of his former first mate, Smee.

"Evening, Captain, your highnesses," said the small man, shucking off his cap as he ducked his head towards Mary Margaret and David. "Sounds like you are all having a right good time."

"Sounds can be deceiving, Smee," Killian began but Emma interrupted, smiling warmly at the bearded man.

"I would love to hear about good times on the Jolly Roger someday, Mr Smee," she said, lips twitching in a sure sign of mischief. "Did you ever play cards, for example?"

There was a helpless snort of laughter from Henry, still buried in his own arms on the table and Smee frowned in confusion, obviously unaware of what was occurring around him.

"Can't say that we did, Miss," he answered, eyes darting from Emma to Killian and back again nervously.

"I suppose the Captain was always standing on the deck," she said matter of factly, her shoulders rising and falling in an unnatural steadiness Killian recognised as suppressed laughter.

Her parents, on the other hand, had no such qualms. Tears were streaming down Mary Margaret's face as David threw his head back and guffawed.

Henry had yet to emerge from his self-contained cocoon.

Killian looked around at them one by one - his love, her boy, her mother and his mate - and a rush of affection washed over him. They may have made him the object of their amusement, but it had been some time since he had been important enough to anyone to go to these lengths to do so.

Glancing across at Mr Smee, an idea formed that had the corners of his mouth twitching. His crewman looked baffled by the proceedings - and Killian suspected that would become worse before it became better. Still, sometime a sacrifice was required in the course of revenge.

"Really Swan," Killian said, looking at his love with false disapproval. "I thought you were above this petty nonsense."

He slid from the booth, shaking his head sadly as he stood next to his first mate. Emma narrowed her eyes at him, as her family watched him with interest.

"Looks like you thought wrong, buddy," she replied.

"You're not the woman I believed you to be, Swan," he drawled, glancing around her family - his family - before his eyes landed on Smee. "And you do know what Captain Hook said when he broke up with his girlfriend?"

Emma snorted with laughter, before tilting her head in a clear challenge. "No, what?"

Killian grinned and draped his arm around the shoulder of an unsuspecting Smee. "It's not you, it's Smee," he finished, planting a kiss on the cheek of the bemused pirate.

And with a mischievous wink at Henry, now laughing silently against his mother's shoulder, he led his new love in the direction of the bar.

He suspected rum would be the only way to explain this one. ..