Chapter VIII: Heartbreak

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First of all, HAPPY BIRTHDAY FOR MY DARLING KAROLA! Have the best day ever hun, happy birthday and hope you enjoy your pressie! Loads and loads of love and hugs.

Thanks to Liv for reading this through! Mwahs and hugs

To Shanice, because I know she will be nice enough to let all that everything to me :D. You know what I mean ;). Hugs and love too.

And at last, BUT NOT LEAST, hugs and love for Gem and Gwen! Love u both too.

Thanks so much for the reviews, they squeezed this one out of my system! lol

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"S-Sophie?" they all stuttered, looking away.

"Yes… Sophie" an afraid Donna mumbled softly through the knot in her throat and raising her hands to her chest, her motherly instinct immediately telling her something was wrong. Very wrong.

"Please, tell me…" she nearly whispered and already in tears when the silence started to drown her "Tell me" she repeated in a desperate tone.

"She…" Sam started, running his hand through his hair and not wanting to look her in the eye "She died Donna" he spitted, as if it was the only way to do it.

Donna´s mouth fell open, but she couldn´t let any sound escape her lips. Not screaming, not crying, not a word. She started shaking and lacking of air, shocked, holding Azaria against her body so tight she woke her up.

"You didn´t have to tell her like that, Sam" Tanya hissed, frowning.

"Yes, what the hell is wrong with you?" Rosie added, taking Azaria from Donna´s arms as the brunette wrapped her arms around her friend, so she would have a shoulder to cry on.

"I´m… sorry" he whispered, hurt and confused, looking at his beloved wife drown in her tears over her friend´s shoulder and walked out of the room before breaking down. It was too much to handle.

Rosie walked out of the room to sooth the young girl and prevent her from asking further, finally settling her into Sam´s arms. He was about to say something when she shot him a warning look to stop him to bring the subject in front of the kid and walked back to her friends.

"How did it happen Tanya?" Donna asked between sobs, burying her head on her friend´s hair "When? She sounded so happy on the phone earlier…"

Tanya gulped uncomfortably, knowing the full blown truth was way harder than what she pretended to tell her friend.

"It was a car accident, darling" the brunette replied soothingly, stroking her friend´s hair "She didn´t suffer"

"My baby girl… it can´t be true. Why?" she said, breaking in tears again

Remembering the scene she found when walking out of the Hospital, Tanya couldn´t help to start crying herself, but wiped her tears immediately knowing her friend was the one who needed help and support.

"I don´t know why, honey…"

Just then, Rosie walked into the room and wrapped her arms around her friend too. Both stood there, whispering her friend words of wisdom as they best know, until tiredness got the best of her and Donna fell into a restless asleep. They put her back onto bed and, giving Athos a last loving glance, walked out to face Sam.

He was sat on the waiting room, his arms wrapped around Azaria, who was bended over a coloring book. It seemed… so normal. Rosie kneeled in front of her and smiled sweetly.

"Do you want an ice cream, sweetie?" she asked, getting a frantic nod in reply "Come on, then" she added, extending her arms to the young girl.

"I will be right back, uncle Sam" she said, kissing his cheek tenderly and running to Rosie´s arms, who took her away quickly.

"Sam, what the fuck where you thinking?!" Tanya hissed once they were alone "She´s crashed now"

Hiding his head on his hands, he sighed deeply and cleared his throat to keep his voice from breaking.

"What was I supposed to say, Tanya? If you forgot, Sophie was my daughter too"

Sighing, she took a seat next to him and placed her hand on his shoulder.

"We´re being too hard on you. Sorry…"

"What are we going to do? I don´t even know if she will want to see me"

"She will. And yet if she doesn´t, she will need you. Don´t leave her"

Astounded, he looked into her eyes.

"I could never leave her"

"Good. You know what really happened, right?"

"What do you mean?"

"What she was going to do"

"What was she going to do? She crossed the street and a truck hit her"

"Sophie was about to kill herself Sam, to save her mother"

"Wait a minute… What?"

"You heard" she answered, nodding.

"That will kill Donna, if she ever finds out"

"There are a lot of things she can´t find out Sam, and you have to be there to help her focus on Athos"

"It won´t be easy. She…"

"She devoted those last 22 years of her life to Sophie. True"

"What can I do?"

"She will break down, Sam. Don´t let her"

"I am not going to let her Tanya. That´s what I promised when we married. I never lied to her and I never will. Even when I was engaged and hid it, I loved her, that´s the reason I did it, I love her, and I never, for a single second, thought about leaving her alone. Not back then. Not now"

"She´s really lucky to have you" Tanya smiled "You have no idea how many nights she cried herself to sleep over you all those years ago. I think she still did until the very same day you came back to her life"

"Believe me, I do know" he smiled and walked away, whilst the brunette wrapped her arms around herself, alone with her thoughts.

"Where the fuck is the alcohol when you need it?" she sighed.

*

Shaking his head to clear his head, Sam opened the door and walked into her wife´s room, sighing once again in helpless despair.

Leaning against the door, he stared at her and smiled. Twenty four hours seemed such a short space of time to be through all that pain and heartache. And of all the thoughts that could cross his mind, it was her breath-taking beauty and her gorgeous smile what got his attention.

"And yet, she´s as beautiful and peaceful as an angel" he whispered, walking to stroke her face lovingly and tuck a strand of hair behind her ear "I love you so much you will never know"

"I know how much and I love you more" she mumbled back hoarsely from the crying and took his hand gently, as he slid under the covers next to her.

"I thought you were asleep sweetheart. You need to rest" he whispered sweetly on Donna´s ear, wrapping his arms around her tightly.

"I can´t. I will never sleep again, Sam" she replied, cuddling closer against him and flooding his shoulder in tears.

He rubbed her back gently and covered her face with soft kisses whilst mumbling loving words in her ears, until her tired body stopped shaking and her motherly eyes ran out of tears, until her breath steadied and she reached for his lips weakly.

"Thank you for being so supportive, baby. Your kindness is heart-melting"

"I said I love you woman" he started, returning the kiss to her soft honey lips "There´s no place I would rather be than by your side. And that goes for the rest of my life"

"Thank you. Thank you so much. I need you here. I need your love. What would I do…?" she answered, interrupting herself when she couldn´t resist the urge to approach his lips again, melting her sadness in a passionate kiss that lifted their souls and left him breathless and confused.

"And what was that for, honey?" he smiled, stroking her flustered face.

"That´s… for being my perfect man" she whispered, placing a teasing kiss on his neck and cuddling tighter against him, resting her head on his chest. He smiled contented and kissed her hair gently "I´m cold" Donna added, trying not to shiver.

"Shhh…" he soothed her, pulling the blanker further around their bodies and rocking her to sleep.

Hours after she had fallen into an exhausted sleep again, he was still holding her and stubbornly awake, thinking about Tanya´s words and about everthing his wife just said.

She thinks I´m perfect… and I´m acting as a lying bastard. But it is for her own good… Isn´t it? Isn´t it? He sighed and buried his head in her hair, taking in her sweet scent and still stroking her delicately. Nothing will change the fact I love you like this.

She was like a gorgeous doll in his arms and he placed butterfly kisses on her face until a faint smile slowly crept to her lips. She was alive. She was safe. And she would be alright.

He would make sure of it.

Then, relief filled Sam´s heart and he placed the most delicate kiss on her curled up lips before he finally fell asleep too in exhaustion.

*

Sam opened his eyes, to what seemed just a few minutes after for him, when he felt the sun uncomfortably hitting his face and blinked to adjust to the light. Immediately, he saw his wife bend over their new-born son and wipe her endless tears. So lost and helpless, she looked like a ghost from her usual self. And if there was something yet to break, it broke his heart.

He left the bed discreetly and wrapped her arms around her slim body from behind.

"Thank God" she sighed, grabbing his hands in hers firmly and resting against him, not parting her eyes from her baby boy and placing her hand over the glass lovingly. He tightened his hold on her and kissed her cheek.

After a few long minutes, she turned and rested her head on his chest, sobbing quietly but rhythmically and wrapping her arms around him tightly. He sighed and hugged her close, fighting his own tears.

"This is not fair. I gave birth twice and I have no child to hold. I want to hold my babies"

"I know baby, I know" he soothed her, kissing her hair tenderly "They will take him out of there soon"

"But I will never see Sophie again. I couldn´t even say goodbye. It is not fair on any mother"

Speechless, he sat down and pulled her into his lap, still holding her.

"But you know what hurt me most?" she continued in a void tone.

"What?" he asked to give her an answer, not knowing if telling would do her good or not.

"I had a dream…"

"A dream about?" he responded, caressing Donna and kissing her skin, trying to make her ticklish and relax her.

"About us" she said, finally giggling slightly under his touch and raising her face to kiss him briefly.

"And…?"

"We were at our spot down at the beach, we just had an amazing love making session and I was cuddling against you over the warm sand, quite sleepy… and so happy"

"That´s… interesting" he smiled, placing a kiss on her neck. She tilted her head back and blushed.

"You have a one track mind, Carmichael"

"Me?!" he exclaimed amused, looking up at her "I wasn´t the one dreaming about me being inside of you"

"Stop it" she said blushing further.

"You are so lovely when you do that"

"That´s not the point" she added looking down, whilst her smile fainted and he squeezed her hand reassuringly "Then, then…" she breathed deeply, trying not to burst in tears again "Then Sophie came down with Athos in her arms and I could hold them both so tight…"she trailed off, unable to restrain the pain anymore "We had lunch and laughed… and I fed our baby boy. You were teasing me, as usual, about me looking hot. I actually enjoyed hearing it. But I woke. And I found out all this wasn´t a nightmare, the dream was the lie. And it was the hardest thing I ever had to do. Waking up every morning and realizing once again it is indeed real"

Donna shut as her voice cracked, and cried her soul out in his arms, as she would do for many nights to come… until her heart felt numb and her swollen eyes hurt.

"I don´t know how deeper my heart can sink, Sam. I don´t know how much more can I take"

"You can take whatever, sweet baby, you can take everything. Because I am here. Because our son is here. Because you are an angel"

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Sorry it´s crappy :/ Want more? Press the button please! Love to you all xxxxx. M.