Chapter 7

Water ran cold. Only hot shower and my strawberry shampoo could calm me down, but I had none of the strawberry shampoo and now, not even warm water to continue doing nothing in the bathroom. I've been in for an hour or more, thinking of everything I knew or better, what I didn't know. The infinity stone wasn't something one mortal could bear and here I was, wondering how it got sewed under my skin in first place. I should be dead, it was clear as day, but my understanding of how to control the beast in my chest was clear as marmalade.

Martyrs suffer and meet their ends, I want to survive.

"You shouldn't bother with definitions, but since you already did... A martyr is often a symbol of leadership, heroism or altruism. A holy leader they respect and follow to-..." I interrupted the rant of madman at this point.

Maybe you should have got martyred rather than inviting an army.

"Maybe I did."

You killed eighty people in two days!

There were several things wrong with me, I accepted that, but I couldn't accept that I couldn't control what I'm about to say in front of somebody quite messed up. I lost my tongue thanks to my stupidity and still haven't learned from my mistake. A god who, I hope didn't wear ridiculous robes as the gods I've met, was merciful with me today. Loki didn't chop my head off though his glare signaled he could, he simply pressed harder on my hand that was already in his. Just pressed, no wrist or fingers broken in the process.

"When was the last time you were selfless Isabella? Denied something you wanted for a better good? Was it when you gave up on love of your life to protect your father? Or when you surrendered to the nomad so your parents would be spared? Or maybe when you joined the ranks of Volturi to save your friends?"

It made sense why he didn't hurt me psychically. Why would he even try to when his words could cut deeper? And I bet it was more entertaining, judging by his smirk it was. Sitting on a bench next to him, I was torn between crying till Sahara flooded or ripping the stone out of my chest and shoving it in Loki's ass for Thanos to pull out. Through our connection he might know of my inner conflict, but until the point when I smiled to spite him, my face remained expressionless.

You deserve worst imaginable death known to the universe.

Life is hard and death is easy and that is why I had a gun under the mattress, just in case. I got it from one of the agents, it wasn't given, but taken and since I've taken it, I put it apart and put it together around fifty times. I pressed the barrel against my temple once, had my finger on the trigger and it just didn't feel right. Granted, I was a coward in two ways, firstly because I wished to pull the trigger and put the end on my miserable existence and secondly, because I didn't.

I was once selfless, it doesn't sound humble but I was at some point. I wished to make my mother happy and I moved to Forks so she could enjoy life with her new husband. In Forks, I tried to make my father happy by being a good girl, cooking meals, doing my homework and staying out of trouble. My selflessness had its limit and the trouble found me. Now I was no better than Loki, catering my needs before everyone else's, ignoring the greater good.

"In the end, we all get what we deserve."

That explains why you lack the throne, my King.

"Is it end then, Isabella?"

I didn't reply as I didn't know how. He was a prisoner and the closest he'll get to the throne in the near future is by being executed by his king's feet. But there was I and my allegiance to him and that was something capable of turning the tables. I looked at him, dared to meet his eyes and all I saw was a plain man. I knew nothing of Aesir, except that he wanted to take over my planet. S.H.I.E.L.D. didn't give me much of the info and the things I knew of him were insignificant. Due to lack of knowledge, I couldn't understand the spoilt boy burdened by his own ambition.

How do I convince Thor to take me to Asgard?

"Self-sacrifice. Thor won't need much convincing after you prove him the Earth is vulnerable. He declared himself a protector of this Realm and he will protect it the best way he can before running to his father."

That gave me something to think about. The Earth really is vulnerable, it's assets are mostly mortal soldiers. Hulk can smash all he wants, but that won't be enough to take out Thanos when he comes for me. My anxiety must have shown because Loki's hand tightened around mine. His consolation didn't make me feel any better. Out of everyone I ever knew, the only person who could protect me is a rotten megalomaniac. I didn't want compassion from him, I didn't want anything from him. But I needed him and that was hard to admit.

Agent Barton will wake up with a marvelous idea tomorrow. I hope you are ready for your sentence.

"You shouldn't be rooting for the death penalty." He warned. As if I needed to be reminded of consequences his death will bring. In the past, I wouldn't wish death upon anybody, but times changed and there are few names that pop out when I think of people nobody would miss. But not Loki, my stomach turned and I saw that as a signal to return to my room.

I'm not.

Hope you enjoyed it.