Chapter VIII: A ray of sunshine

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Hey you all! Ok, first this is a bis of chapter eight because I got confused at some point xxxx.

It´s crap but I hope you enjoy, sorry if I can´t update often or something better. Hope you don´t quit on me.

Liv: sent this to you like 3 times. Guess you never got it. Sorry :( Mwahs and hugs xxxxxx

Shanice: HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Enjoy your present! Have a wonderful day and thanks for being an amazing friend! :D You knowwww I´m sending the God your way! You know how much I love our convos and love ya too my soul sis 4 ever. *big bear hug and party going on*

Gwen: Hope you get to read this! You are like OMG the best ever ! thans so much for the postcard and the DVD! Loved them so much! And I´m gonna have something sent your way, hope you get it soon! And I´m gonna write our next chap soon! Love you so very much and wish you will have the most amazing birthday ever! Enjoy this present for you xxxxx

Karola and Gem: Love you too dynamos xxxxx Thanks for saying you wanted to read D. Hugs and loads of love beyond words...

Thanks to you 4 cause you are the most amazing friends ever girls xxxxxxx

AND happy birthday to the amazing Meryl Streep! You are trully wonder woman xxxxx 33

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Sam opened his eyes and stretched slightly on the hospital couch. Looking around he found Donna stood next from the incubator, with her right hand over the glass and crying. It had been the same for the whole last week. She will cry herself to sleep in his arms just to fall in a restless sleep, waking up a few hours later to break down again over the image of their baby boy and the absence of her daughter.

What can I do to help you sweetheart? Please tell me what can I do?

He stood and went to wrap his arms around her and she turned to cry on his shoulder, while he sat and pulled her to his lap. He kissed her cheek and stroked her hair, but she wasn´t calming down. Holding her tight, she pulled them to gently lie down on the sofa.

"You need to sleep baby"

"I can´t. I just can´t"

"You look exhausted tough. They can give you a pill to help you"

"No"

"What? Why?"

"I don´t want to" she replied coldly, turning around in his arms away from him.

Sam sighed, hearing her stifled sobs against the pillow. He nuzzled his head on her neck and gently kissed her skin.

"I love you my Donna bear"

She turned again to lean her head on his chest

"I love you too"

He trailed his hand up and down her back, trying her best to sooth her and not sure what else to say anymore. It was true she needed his love, but he wished there was something else he could do than just lie by her side, because it wasn´t working wonders.

"They said they would take him out today. When are they going to take him out?"

"I don´t know, but I can go and ask if you want"

She nodded and a butterfly smile brushed her lips when he kissed her forehead and left the room to find a nurse.

"Morning miss. I´m Athos Carmichael´s father and we were wondering when will he be out of the incubator"

"Not until the Doctor checks on him Mr."

"And when will that be?"

"It´s 5 a.m. now, not for the next 4 hours"

She walked away and he ran his hand through his hair, powerless. Four hours were nothing compared to the days of hell they had been living, but it was going to be agony. Slowly, he stepped back into the room and was relieved to find she had magically fallen asleep. Not wanting to disturb his wife, he sat on a chair next to her, holding her hand and smiling at how peaceful she actually looked when she was sleeping. Feeling physically and emotionally exhausted too he laid next to her and carefully wrapped his arms around her waist, falling asleep too immediately.

His eyes fluttered open again later, when hearing the door shut. He found his wife leaning her head on his chest and staring at him. Sam smiled and kissed her lips briefly, as they noticed the Doctor standing next to them. Both smiled and greeted her.

After shaking their hands, the woman headed to the incubator and watched over the baby, taking a few notes and checking on the drip and tubes. They waited, eyes wide open and unable to breathe.

"Everything seems to be alright" she smiled "We can take him out now, his lungs are working properly already"

Donna raised both her hands to her heart, speechless, and smiled.

"Thank you" Sam smiled too, wrapping an arm around his wife and shaking the Doctor´s hand.

"I´ll send a nurse then. Have a nice day"

The door shut again and they were left alone.

Once again Donna placed her hand over the glass and for the first time she smiled.

"My sweet boy, I want to hold you and feed you so much"

Sam smiled and held her hand intertwining their fingers. She smiled at him and leaned on his chest.

"I missed your smile so much" he whispered, kissing her cheek.

She took both his hands in hers and kissed his fingers.

"Thank you for being there to hold me every time I´m falling apart"

"Hey, I´m your husband, that´s my job baby"

"No, is not" she smiled, kissing him softly.

He slid his hand down her back, kissing her gently, until it suddenly turned into a passionate kiss, her body leaning against his and her arms tightly wrapped around him.

"Don´t get too excited baby, your heart can´t take it yet" he whispered, breaking apart slowly.

"I just… want you" she groaned, leaning on his chest.

"I promise it will worth the wait" he smiled, kissing her nose. Not because it was easy for him, he also wanted no more than rip the hospital gown away from her body, but because he knew he had to be strong for her.

"Why isn´t the nurse coming?"

"I don´t know sweetheart, it´s been a long while already"

"I´m going to call her"

"No darling" he took her hand "Don´t leave the room"

"I want him out" she responded, tearing up.

"I know, I want to hold him too, but you have to wait here and lay down. I promise they will give our son to you"

"They doctor said they can take him out already" she groaned.

Sam lifted Donna in his arms and carried her to the bed, laying her down softly and placing a gentle kiss on her forehead, her eyelids and her lips, lying next to her and holding her hand again.

"I love you Carmichael" she whispered, giggling at the brief kisses he was constantly placing on her lips.

"I love you too… to the moon and back"

"That sounds funny"

"Does it?"

"Yes"

He was about to kiss her again when the nurse finally walked in. Donna tried to sit up and go to her child, but Sam lovingly pulled her to lay back on the bed.

"Wait here lovely, I´ll bring him"

Smiling, Donna nodded. Sam was marveled by the way her face lit up.

He stood next to the nurse and watched her take the drip and all the wires away, the last week being washed by a deep relief. The nurse handed the baby to him and left the room.

"That´s my son. You´re all strong now" he smiled kissing his head.

Donna was looking at Sam expectantly, so he went to sit next to her and placed the baby in her arms. Looking down at her son, she tear up and held his little hand.

"I love you my sweet boy. I always will"

The baby frowned and broke up crying.

"Oh, are you hungry my poor little one?"

She unbuttoned the hospital gown and raised him to her chest to be fed. It hurt her, but she had wanted so much to have her son in her arms. She smiled lovingly and kissed his head as he started eating.

"He´s such a perfect little thing"

"Yes, he is" Sam smiled, wrapping an arm around her shoulder and stroking the baby´s tiny arm.

"And I love the fact he looks like you"

He laughed and she turned her face to kiss him "Thank you. For everything you´ve given me"

"You´re very welcome beautiful"

She smiled lovingly at him.

"At least something is going alright now. I can´t wait to leave this place"

"Isn´t he the most wonderful baby we could get?"

She stared at her son adoringly and smiled.

"Yes"

"He needs you baby…" he whispered, stroking the back of her hand with her thumb.

"I know and I´m going to be there"

"I wish I could tell how much I love you"

"I know baby, I know" she said, leaning to kiss him softly "And I can´t get enough of your kisses"

"Me neither" he smiled, kissing her back.

"I really hope too I can take you both home soon" he said, kissing her forehead and then his son´s head.

Her heart melting, the sweetest smile crept to her lips.

"Have I ever told you how much I love your smile?" he whispered, leaning to kiss her tenderly.

"No, but if you gonna kiss me every time I smile, I will smile much more often"

"You know, I´ve already lost count of how many times I´ve kissed you this morning"

"My God, that´s true. But is not a bad thing tough. I am allowed to love kissing you and to be addicted to it too" she replied, then leaning to plunge into a passionate kiss with him

After Athos had been twenty four hours in observation, and he was found to be perfectly healthy, Donna was finally allowed to leave the hospital.

She breathed deeply and sighed happily when she felt the sun hitting her soft skin that morning. She heard her baby boy´s cry and it lifted her heart. He was alive. He was there. And she could just stand up and pick him up. She opened her eyes smiling, and her smile widened when the figure of her beloved husband hovering over their soon smiled back at her.

Walking to them quickly she kissed his cheek and took a blanket, immediately taking her child in her arms. And for a moment, the most heart-lifting sensation she ever felt washed over her when she took his hand and he wrapped her little fingers around hers.

"You know, you are my favorite little man in this world" she smiled kissing his button nose.

"Hey that hurt my feelings" Sam pouted at her, making her giggle.

Looking up back at him, she shook her head.

"Sorry sweetheart, you don´t fit in that category"

"And what category do I fit in then baby?" he smiled, wrapping his arms around her slim waist.

Leaning against his manly frame, she whispered

"Most handsome man in the world"

Still smiling, he kissed her delicately.

"I love you my Donna bear"

"I love you too. So much. You mean to me more than you will ever know"

"Believe me baby, I think I have a clue"

He trails his kisses down her neck as a soft moan escaped her lips.

"Stop, stop… we can´t do this now. I have to feed my baby"

"I´m sorry, but no. These are only mine" he giggled, squeezing her breasts.

"I said stop it" she squealed laughing and battled his hands away.

Forgetting about him, she unbuttoned her gown and fed her child, lovingly tracing her finger along his tiny arm.

"I… I had really forgotten you can feel a love like this" she whispered softly, wiping her tears as they immediately fall.

And it was like this every time.

They went back to their house, it was time to move on. But Donna just couldn´t. Everything she saw was Sophie, everything she heard was Sophie. Time and time she would break down crying her heart out, time and time Sam will try and comfort her. Endless nights will he have her falling asleep in tears in his arms. There was nothing he could do.

"And you still don´t know the worst baby" he sighed, placing a soft kiss on her forehead and wiping her tears for the hundredth time "You are so beautiful my love, I hate to see you cry"

When Atho´s cry burst through the baby monitor she woke and smiled at him

"I´m so sorry baby"

"Sorry? Why sweetheart?"

"Because I cry and I know you don´t like it" she replied, stroking his cheek.

"It´s ok, I know you need it. Go back to sleep, you just closed your eyes. I´ll check on him"

"You are an absolute angel"

"No. You are my angel and my goddess"

She blushed and he smiled sweetly at her leaving the room.

A month went by that way, and Donna was woke as every morning by her son´s early crying, feeling a sore weight in her heart and already damp in tears. I wish this meaningless tears could be gone once and for all. Even when I´m never going to forget about you my beautiful Soph.

"Oh, I love you my baby, but I hate it when you wake this early."

For the first time since she was gone, Sophie wasn´t the first thing on her mind when she woke up that morning. Will it be like this every day? Being the hardest thing to wake up and realize again it´s real, she´s not here, she´s gone? Time could make the pain subside and make it bearable, but deep inside her motherly heart Donna knew it was never going to disappear. Losing her child had been like a shot to her heart, and you can´t mend a heart broken like that. It would bleed for the rest of her life.

Groaning, she left the bed before her husband woke and went to pick up her baby. Yawning, she sat on the rocking chair to feed him, holding him tight and doing her best to stay awake. She was still wearing the same jeans and light white shirt from the day before and slowly getting used to the fact she would be all dressed up still when she woke. She knew her husband wasn´t happy about the fact they hadn´t been close in a month and a half, neither was she and she hated to disappoint him, but she hoped her doctor appointment that afternoon would change things between them. And Donna couldn´t wait to know he was satisfied with her again. She quickly found herself imagining the feeling of his hands trailing along her skin and his body over hers, his kisses, his…

Starting to shiver inside a soft moan escaped her lips, when she noticed her baby boy was finished with her. She smiled adoringly at her son and wrapped him in a blanket

"Come on my gorgeous sweet boy, we´re having a walk around the house"

She kissed his forehead and smiled lovingly, happy to have someone to rely her motherly love on. Holding him tight, she left the room and headed to the courtyard and gardens.

Never parting her eyes from her child, she saw him frown his nose and cough, the same way Sam did when something upset him.

"Aaaww, you´re just like your daddy" she melted, rocking him in her arms "And I love you so much"

He pouted and grabbed her finger tightly.

"Does that means I love you too my little man?"

"Hey… Donna" a manly voice said politely sitting next to her "Is that…?"

"My son. My gorgeous perfect baby boy" she completed proudly, looking up and swallowing her next words in surprise "…Sky"