Chapter 9

With a few days till departure to another planet, Crown Prince of Asgard decided to introduce me to their customs. I can not say I enjoyed hearing his stories much though I smiled and nodded every now and then. Universe be damned when Odin dies, this boy in red cape is not a fit for the king. Thor knew so little of Asgard and I found his ignorance devastating. He was nothing, pretty boy who only knew to gloat of many, many fights in which he fought. It was hard to listen.

"You miserable wretch!" Alice Cullen demanded to see me and once I was brought before her, she started yelling.

"Miss Cullen!"

"You killed him! He went to Wolves, they killed him because of you!"

"Get her out of here."

"Edward is dead. I don't know what you did, but you're going to pay. Victoria built an army, she will come after you, there is no place on Earth you can hide!"

Hulk smashed and she was thrown out. I peeked in her mind, but didn't respond to her accusations. My first love, the beautiful shiny marble man went mad. None of Cullens knew what was going inside his head, but I knew it was torture as I put those horrible images in his head. I didn't play with Alice's mind, my cruel side wanted her sane and aware her end is coming. They deserve more suffering than they'll get. Edward is dead and he deserves it because he killed me.

A week has passed since Alice's visit and in meantime my cast was removed which meant little is left till the final goodbye to the ants. My days in the Avenger's base were bad as usual. The stone didn't give me a break so whenever I had the chance I sneaked in Loki's cell. I spent nights like the one I was having tonight with him. My nightmares were brutal and I was afraid to close my eyes and be dragged in that hell again. I had a feeling that I will get stuck in one of the night's terrors and no matter how afraid of Loki I was, I knew he would wake me up.

"Isabella?"

Yeah..?

"Stop biting my finger."

Don't ask why and don't ask how, but I had Loki's finger in my mouth and I was bitting it, hard. I removed my teeth and apologized, this situation, although embarrassing wasn't alarming. Loki wouldn't let me eat him. We were on the floor again, my half-naked body tangled with his. It wasn't intimacy, but another favour I will have to repay one day. But my mind wasn't on setting debts straight, Asgard was. I will be safe there for a while, but there is zero chance I will fit amongst gods.

What is Asgard like?

"It is filled with liars."

How? I thought you were the god of that.

"That I am, but it is the title I was given." I never asked by whom and had no intention of doing it now. I didn't care for his story.

You don't seem concerned with return there.

Loki ignored me, he did that a lot and I never pushed. Thor didn't say much of Loki, mentioned a genocide and skipped the subject. I didn't ask as I didn't want to know. I was in a room with a serial killer who was at most times perfectly aware what is going in my head. So I didn't want to know what he was capable of. I only wanted his cold touch with ability to prevent my body from lighting up in flames. Human me was frightened, but it was a long time since I turned my back to humanity.

During the night, darkness plays with me and I often hear Aro's laugh or see Jane who brings a plate with raw organs of people I knew. There is Jessica and smell of her burnt hair in my nose. At times I feel so guilty, then angry, maybe even sad, but most permanent is emptiness. I feel nothing about Edward's death and I don't know if he deserved it or not. I want to hate him and the rest of them, but I am worn out and disinterested. All of them will be slaughtered and I still won't be satisfied.

"Look at me." I went to sit up, hissing from lack contact when Loki's grabbed me and shifted me on his naked chest. My face was above his and he had hand in my hair, I couldn't look anywhere else but at him. "Little Lamb, I haven't hurt you, why so frightened?"

I am not a lamb. He knowns what I've been thinking about.

"Answer my question."

Why don't you answer mine? He smiled, laughed even. But much to my terror, his hand slid from my hair to curl around my neck.

"Sometimes you are so easy to control. Like a doll." I pleaded with my eyes. " I won't hurt you."

But you could. I tapped at his hand around my neck. I can't trust the man titled God of the Lies. I know better.

"You know the best." He released my neck and I pulled back. Of course he then started mocking me. "Your petty, childish antics..." I didn't listen, but I heard. "You think you know betrayal, grief? You know nothing."

In a room with Loki, a man who has done horrible things for who knows what reason, I felt like the real monster out of two of us. It wasn't fair, at least it shouldn't be, but whenever he opened his mouth my mind would shut down instead of defending me. Was falling in love really as bad as being a total psycho? I know that I lied for the Cullens, did everything they asked just so their secret would remain secret. While love lasted, both sides... Tried to much. It wasn't meant to be.

Always eager to prove yourself. Even before me, the mewling quim who doesn't know anything.

When he earlier forced me to look at him, he didn't know it will backfire. Now he had to look at me. I was, simply put, straddling him. Loki angered me, he did this all the time, but I just wanted some answers. I didn't ask about him, I didn't cross any lines, I just wanted to know what to expect of Asgard. There was no point of allegiance like this one because a dog that barks doesn't bite. I will never understand Loki and I don't want to, luckily I'll never need to.

I wanted to inflict him pain and I knew I could. Not by slapping him or hitting his chest because that would be like hitting a wall. It doesn't even matter what I wanted to do to him when no matter in how much pain he is in, he is unable to change, feel remorse and understand others. At times there are particles of him that show compassion, but he built a fortress with moving bridge around that part of him. Meanwhile, I was breaking down my walls, embracing pulsing blue in my chest.

Do you fear death, Loki?

Asgard in next chapter.