"To Have and Have Not"
Chapter Four- "Having No Clue What Comes Next"
By: purpleu
House watched as Lydia pulled Reverend Bell's car into the right-hand parking spot in the driveway. His car was already in the left-hand spot since he didn't bother to garage it when he drove them back from the city yesterday. He parked the van behind Bell's car knowing it wouldn't be moving for the next few days. House roughly shoved the gearshift into park; he was still thinking of the incident with Thomas and he was still pissed. The team could bear some of the responsibility for being blinded by their feelings for Bell, but the primary fault lay directly on him. It startled House to think that his emotions for the old guy ran so deep that he could make this kind of error. He never panicked, or made a foolish call about any of the tests; they were all quite appropriate. It was the fact that he didn't treat Thomas like a typical patient… instead he treated him like family which was a major mistake. House leaned his head back against the seat and closed his eyes. The incident was resolved and Bell would be back on his feet in the next three days; dwelling on things would do no good for anyone, especially not himself. His thoughts were interrupted by a knock at the driver's side window. House looked to his left and saw Lydia standing there.
"Are you going to spend your break from the hospital sleeping out here, or do you want to come in and have something to eat?" she asked holding up a Dunkin Donuts bag. Lydia had gone into the donut shop when they picked up Bell's car to let them know how he was doing. It turned out Thomas stopped at this particular store each time he came to visit the Princeton area; many of the staff were on a first name basis with him. They insisted on giving her a box of Munchkins, a box of a dozen assorted donuts, and six muffins to help with Thomas' problem. She tried to tell them it wasn't necessary, but their fondness for Bell overrode her protests. House stepped out of the car and took the bag of treats from Lydia.
"I'm still holding out for your chili, but I'll grab something from here for my second dessert," he said setting the alarm on the car. He walked toward the open garage door, following several steps behind his girlfriend; House wanted to see if she was steady on her feet or ready to keel over like she did earlier.
"What do you mean, 'second dessert'? What's the first one?" Lydia asked as she opened the door to the house.
"The cookies I never got from my lunch. They came in handy, but that doesn't mean that I willingly accept them being snatched from my mouth." Lydia stopped at the bottom of the stairs that led up to their part of the house and turned to her boyfriend.
"Those cookies never made it anywhere near your mouth… I gave them straight to Thomas who really needed them. Besides, you know there's always plenty more only a short wait away."
"I managed to grab one back from the bag," House noted. "But you know how that goes with me; when I get a taste of something I like, I always want more." He reached out as they got to the first landing, pulled Lydia toward him, and planted a gentle kiss on her lips. His actions brought a smile to his girlfriend's face. "See… that's what I'm talking about. After I put a smile on those lips, I feel compelled to keep going." And continue he did, kissing her several more times.
"I'm glad to see you're in a better mood than you were a little while ago," Lydia said initiating a kiss or two of her own. House smiled at her gesture.
"I haven't absolved myself of any guilt yet," House said as he turned toward the second set of steps. "But a bit of spit swapping with you always puts me… " He didn't get to finish his thought as Lydia, who was walking just in front of him, stopped and swayed backward for a moment. "Damn!" House muttered under his breath.
"I'm OK… I just… "
"You're just heading straight for the couch," said House as he put his arm around Lydia and led her to the top of the stairs. Turning left into the living room, he was glad that the couch was immediately within reach; he could feel her legs starting to give out. House placed the bag he was carrying on the coffee table and sat down next to Lydia who had crumpled down in a heap; she was pale, looked like her eyes were ready to roll back into her head, and despite the fact that she was shivering, she was also sweating, too. "Let's get your coat off." But Lydia shook her head and resisted House's efforts to remove the garment.
"I'm freezing. Please let me keep this on." Leaving her for a moment, he went to the hallway closet and brought out one of Lydia's sweat jackets.
"Layering would be a better option right now," House said in a firm voice as he sat down. "Take off the coat; you can put on this with a blanket." Lydia didn't argue; she removed the coat and quickly donned the jacket. She reached on top of the couch, pulled down the woolen throw, and wrapped it around herself.
"Could you get me some ginger ale? And I think there's a corn muffin in the bag from Dunkin'." House was glad that she at least wanted to eat, but as Lydia turned her head to face him, House didn't like what he saw in her eyes… fear. She was genuinely scared of something. He rose, went to the kitchen, and got Lydia her glass of soda and muffin. He also quickly dished out some chili for himself; whatever was happening here, he needed something to eat. House warmed the food in the microwave as he brought his girlfriend her food and drink. Returning to the kitchen, he placed his hands on the counter, and leaned forward, his head bowed. He wasn't used to Lydia needing help or displaying any sort of weakness. House had taken care of her after the shooting outside of Frankly Thai restaurant a few months ago; but however upsetting that incident was, her injuries weren't life-threatening. What was going on now was a mystery that House knew nothing about… and that rattled him. When the chili was done, he took a few quick bites, and left the bowl on the kitchen counter in case the aroma would bother Lydia's stomach. House reentered the living room and saw that his girlfriend had curled up on the couch; she was on her side with her eyes closed. She looked so peaceful that House hated to disturb her, but he wanted to get some answers.
"OK, Fraulein," House said as he sat down on the floor near her head. "Jetzt heilen wir all deine Wehwehchen." Lydia slowly opened her eyes and glared at her boyfriend.
"I do NOT have a boo-boo, nor do I have little aches and pains!" she said sounding very annoyed as she sat up gingerly and reached for her drink. "I wouldn't bother you with a minor problem that I could handle myself." Absent was the usual playful tone Lydia would answer him with when he was busting her chops; her atypical behavior made House even more eager to get the bottom of things.
"Think you can stay awake long enough to give me a few hints about what's going on?" Lydia nodded her head. "How long have you not been feeling well?"
"On and off since around Thanksgiving. It wasn't much at first, just a few days where my stomach didn't feel quite right. Then I started to feel very tired and weak on some days, but with the holidays around, I just dismissed the feeling."
"Have you actually worshiped at the porcelain throne?" Lydia gave him a puzzled look. "Puked?"
"No, just dry heaves. Then the sweating, chills, and dizziness started. I chalked it up to a virus of some kind because there was one going around the office. But when the pain started, I got nervous."
"Where's the pain?"
"Here." Lydia pointed to both sides of her pelvic area. "And it moves across here." She moved her right hand across to the left side just above her pubic bone. "On a scale of one to ten, the pain's been about a five." House frowned.
"Whose scale are we talking about… yours or mine?" Lydia gave her boyfriend a look.
"Mine; but it hurts no matter whose measurements we're using." She shook her head. "Before this, I thought I had a problem in my gastrointestinal system, but now I think it's my ovaries or uterus, or both." Lydia started to cry; it was the last thing House wanted to see, but he knew why she was reacting that way.
"You mentioned it once before, but tell me again about your mother's medical foibles," he said as he moved up next to her on the couch.
"My mom miscarried twice before she had me, and I was an extremely difficult pregnancy… "
"That figures; you were causing problems before you even showed your face." In spite of how she felt, Lydia managed a chuckle at House's remark.
"Don't pick on me," she said giving him a playful tap on his hand.
"It's all part of the assessment I'm doing on you; if you don't give grief right back at me, I know how rotten you feel." Lydia dropped her head down and wiped away some tears, knowing her boyfriend was right. "Take it easy… just keep talking."
"My mother miscarried twice more after I was born," she continued after taking a deep breath. "She told me years later, that the doctor told her not to try and have any more children; she had 'problems' in there. She went to another doctor a few years later when she was having pain like I am now, only hers were much worse. I would come home from school and find her doubled over on the floor, crying. Her doctor said they could go in and try to do something, but inside would look like Swiss cheese when they were done. She eventually had a hysterectomy."
"Sounds like fibroids," House said.
"That's what I thought, too. Unfortunately, I don't have any concrete information to go on. You would think with the way I so wanted to be a doctor that I would have a better health history written down. But my family was very lax… very careless really… about keeping their medical records. The only ones I have for my mother and father are the ones after the car accident, and that's because I took care of things. I have nothing for anyone else." House nodded, thinking about Lydia's symptoms and the information about her mother. "I just wish I knew more about what happened to my grandmother," she said woefully. "We never spoke about her illness, and without records, I'd be guessing about things."
"What happened to you grandmother?" House asked sharply. This was a new twist in the story of Lydia's family; he had never heard anything about her grandmother having health problems.
"When she was in her early to mid-forties, she began to menstruate more frequently than once a month. It was more like every ten days or so. She was hospitalized several times, given transfusions, and all sorts of treatments. They finally had to do a hysterectomy and my mother said that when they examined her uterus after it was removed… it had lumps inside of it," Lydia choked out the words as she began to cry again. Now House had a clearer picture of what was weighing on her mind. If both her mother and grandmother had medical issues with their reproductive systems, she was assuming she might, too; both Ben and Elise were difficult pregnancies, with Elise being born seven weeks early. House put his arm around Lydia and pulled her toward him. He was not fond of waterworks no matter what the cause, and did his best to avoid them at all costs, but he saw the need to make an exception in this case.
"And you think that those lumps were tumors, I take it," he said, leaning over to kiss the top of her head several times. His hope was that the gesture would distract her, but she was far too upset.
"Yes… and I am so mad at myself that I didn't ask more questions about the situation. It's not just about them; this is about my health, too." She moved around so she could look at House. "I know what I'm describing to you, as far as my mother and grandmother are concerned, are not necessarily things that could be inherited or run in families or anything like that. But given how I've been feeling, and some of the similarities, I'm scared." Lydia leaned her head against her boyfriend's shoulder and tried her best to control her tears. House had a thought on something that happened recently, and he wanted to confirm it.
"I'm going to go out on a limb… all the way to the very end in fact… and say that all of this is why this past weekend, you brought up the subject of who would take care of the kids if something happened to you," House said as he stroked her hair. Lydia picked her head up from House's shoulder and looked directly into his eyes.
"Greg… I know you don't feel like the appropriate person to take care of the kids. I happen to think you're very wrong about that; you're a better man and father to them than anyone I could have hoped to share my life with." She fought to hold back her emotions as she continued. "Hon, please promise me that you'll help take care of them, that you'll stay a part of their lives." House was wide-eyed as he listened to Lydia; she was truly and genuinely freaked out… and it was beginning to make him feel the same way.
"Promises are not my strong point; I've broken far more than I've kept in my life. But I'd think you'd know by now that I'd make sure that the rug rats were well taken care of." House twisted his lips into a smirk. "I'll ride Songbird and Wilson butts to the point they'll question the wisdom of taking on your two with me hovering in the background all the time." Lydia managed a weak smile.
"Our two," she corrected. House leaned forward and looked away from his girlfriend without acknowledging what she had said. It wasn't that he didn't like the kids or didn't care about them; hell, even he was willing to admit that he could let that other "L" word… love… slip in reference to them. The problem was that unlike Lydia, he didn't have blind faith in himself.
"Do me favor before we keep talking… I don't want to hear anything else about you pulling a disappearing act on me; my grouchiness level would hit an all new high if you did. After what happened with Bell today, I could easily be pushed over the edge." House sat back and let out a deep breath. "How soon can you get an appointment with your OB/GYN? Because while I haven't focused in on anything specific yet, given the history of your mother and grandmother, it's a smart idea to stop in for a visit."
"I have an appointment tomorrow at one o'clock." House raised an eyebrow in surprise. "It was previously scheduled," Lydia explained. "I'm due for a check-up."
"Good. Which doctor follows you in matters of a female nature?"
"Dr. Susan Collins. She was my doctor when I was pregnant with both Ben and Elise." Lydia picked up her glass of ginger ale and took a sip. "She got me through everything both times… I'm sure she can help me now." House gave his head a quick shake.
"I sometimes forget that you were living in the area long before we met and that the kids were born at PPTH." Before House could say anything else, his stomach spoke up for him, emitting a loud rumbling sound. It actually brought a smile to Lydia's face.
"A little peckish, are we?" she asked with a laugh. House shot her a look.
"Same old story; when my stomach is deprived of food, it makes its displeasure known. I'm going to grab a few more bites from what I dished out." He stood up and headed for the kitchen.
"Greg, why don't you bring your food in here?"
"Because however delicious it smells to me, I was concerned it would make you vomit. And that's not a comment on your cooking." House continued into the kitchen. Lydia was feeling better than she did when they came home. Both the sweating and chills had stopped and she no longer felt dizzy. Tossing off the throw she had wrapped herself in earlier, she rose from the couch, picked up her glass and the corn muffin House gave her, and joined him. He looked startled when she walked in the room.
"You OK?" he asked.
"It comes in waves," Lydia said as she sat down on one of the stools by the counter extension. "Right now I feel a bit wiped out, but that's about it." House took the bowl with his chili in it and moved over to where Lydia was; he sat on a stool to her right. She seemed nervous to him as she picked apart her muffin, putting small pieces in her mouth. He continued to dive into the chili, pausing only to grab a bag of corn chips from the closet. If anyone else had been in the room, they would have easily felt the tension. Finally, Lydia decided to break the silence.
"Hon… I have another idea about what might be making me feel sick." She turned to her boyfriend, but got no response from him; House kept his eyes downward, continuing to shovel food into his mouth. Lydia didn't know what to make of it. "Greg did you hear what I said?"
"Yep… and I'm way ahead of you, Fraulein." He glanced at her with a smirk on his face. "Are you going to say it or should I?" She was surprised but, dove head first into the conversation.
"I think there's a possibility that I'm pregnant." House turned his attention away from his food, and swung around on his stool to face Lydia. "I didn't say anything because I was assuming the worst… that there was something wrong with my health and I was hoping it would eventually resolve on its own. It wasn't until a week ago that I began to consider another possibility." House nodded.
"Is that when Lucifer's Waterfall was due to show up?" he asked.
"Lucifer's what?" Lydia suddenly realized what he was talking about. "You mean my period."
"With the way you ladies bitch and complain about it, I thought you'd appreciate the analogy. Although I have to admit, you barely say a word when that time rolls around," House said. Lydia laughed.
"That's because I'm on the Ortho Tri-Cyclen pills. I only have my period four times a year and my hormones are under control; you know about that. Be glad you didn't know me before I was on them." Her boyfriend said nothing, but simply continued to stare at her. "I'm…I'm not exactly sure how far along I could be. It might be a week or two… "
"You said you started feeling sick before Thanksgiving… that makes it more like seven weeks," noted House. Lydia put her head down.
"It could be much longer… the last time I had my period was when Annie, James and I were mugged at the beginning of October. I stayed at the hospital a couple of days, and with everything that happened, I didn't think about taking my pills. When I realized what I did, I called Dr. Collins. She told me just to go back on the pills like I was starting a new cycle." House thought for a moment.
"Yeah, but two other things also happened around that time. You had a sinus infection and were on an antibiotic; that negates the effectiveness of the birth control pills. The other thing that happened was my mom's funeral, and I turned to you for a lot of comforting in the ensuing days." Lydia reached out and put her arm around House's shoulders. "I loved the form that the comforting came in… but I never thought about the consequences." He saw that his girlfriend was tearing up again and rolled his eyes. "I didn't mean that the way it sounded. Come here." House put his arm around Lydia and led her to sit down on his good leg. "Question I have is why you didn't let me know sooner what was going on. I know I'm not known for being sympathetic; my bedside manner rating is in negative digits. But for you, I'm willing to make an exception." Lydia managed to smile. "I could have at least helped you figure things out, made you feel better mentally and physically."
"I know," she said reaching for a napkin to wipe her eyes. "I didn't want to worry you. Everything in the past few weeks… since Thanksgiving, actually… has just been a whirlwind of activity around here. Between work for both of us, going down to Philly to see Annie's holiday concert, the kids' holiday concerts, shopping, cooking, baking… I honestly don't know how I was able to keep going."
"Given what you've told me, I don't know how you managed the city this past weekend. You only complained about being tired once." Lydia put her hand up to her mouth and started to giggle.
"Remember when we were at the hotel, and you knocked on the bathroom door asking if I had fallen in to the toilet? I didn't fall in, I fell asleep." House startled to chuckle.
"You're not the only one to be that creative, Fraulein. I've used the toilet as a pseudo bed many times myself." Reaching out and brushing his fingers down the side of her face, House smiled. "Tell me something… if you had to compare how you've been feeling recently to your two prior pregnancies… "
"It feels exactly the same," Lydia replied quickly cutting her boyfriend off. He shook his head.
"Then maybe finding all the similarities to your mom and grandmother was just you looking for a way to not be pregnant." Her eyes widened as she put her arms around her boyfriend.
"Greg! No! I told you when we talked a few months ago that I was willing to undo the tubal ligation I had so we could have a child together. But you said you didn't want me to do that." House started to drum his fingers on the counter.
"Great. Besides possibly having one in the oven, my girlfriend has Alzheimer's and can't remember what we talked about. I said I've always wanted the house with a white picket fence and a wife and kids." House dropped his eyes downward. "I just thought that either my chances got taken away from me or I played the cold-hearted bastard card a little too well. Then you showed up and gave me a new perspective on things. I told you I didn't want a kid with you because I didn't want to see you go through the same crap you did with Frick and Frack… the same crap you're going through now." House looked up at Lydia. "You're the only one I'd want to give parenthood a shot with… you'd keep me from screwing up the kid too badly." Enveloping his girlfriend in a hug, House swallowed hard a few times to keep himself in check; Lydia was supplying enough tears for both of them at the moment. "The reality of the situation is we're getting way ahead of ourselves. We don't know for sure that you're actually knocked up." Lydia pulled back from her boyfriend.
"When I ran out to CVS yesterday afternoon to pick up your prescriptions, I bought a home pregnancy test," she said. "I haven't done the test yet because I wanted to wait until I talked to you." House looked at her incredulously.
"Where's the test?"
"In our bathroom, under the sink." Picking up her near empty soda glass and giving it a look, House placed it back on the counter and stood up. Lydia moved back away from his leg to give him room to maneuver.
"Looks like you're ready," he said taking his girlfriend by the hand and walking out to the hallway.
"Ready… ready for what?" House led her down the hall and entered their bedroom. Moving over into their bathroom, he knelt down, opened the doors to the cabinet under the sink, and felt around. Finding what he was looking for, House stood up.
"After that glass of ginger ale, if you are carrying I'm sure you're ready to pee," he said handing the pregnancy test to Lydia. She looked at him nervously as he stepped out of the bathroom and closed the door behind him. He headed straight over to the bed, sat down, and flopped backwards.
Be careful what you wish for, House thought to himself. He immediately admonished himself for the thought. It's not that he didn't want to have a child. He did, especially with Lydia, and especially to prove that he could be a better father than John House ever was. Of course she'd tell him that he had already proven that with Ben and Elise... but she'd gladly help him prove it some more. House closed his eyes. As much as he had fought so hard for so long and in so many ways to be anything but average or normal, this one thing… to be part of a blissful domestic scene… was something that meant a lot to him. It was something he never had, and he wanted it so badly. He never let anyone, not even Wilson, know how deeply this one missing piece in his life affected him; that it colored his opinions and attitudes for too many years, pushing too many people away, and leaving him hurt and alone. His actions brought him the very opposite of what he desired. House began to relax, and finally, he smiled. He was slowly beginning to very much take a liking to what was happening; to have it all work out for him for once. But there was still a nagging thought rolling around in his head. Few people realize how daunting, how overwhelming it is when you've wanted something for so long, you think that there's no way in hell you're ever going to have it, and then… BOOM! It's handed to you, he thought to himself. He had to admit the prospect of having his own kid was scary as hell for one reason more than anything else; how would Lydia handle things during the pregnancy? How would he deal with it for that matter? If things so far were just the coming attractions, the main event may be a horror story in reference to her health. Stop it! You're driving yourself crazy with something that you don't even know is a fact yet. For all you know she may not even be…
"Greg?" Lydia was standing in the bathroom doorway, holding the testing stick from the kit. House raised his head up to look at her. "How accurate are these things?"
"Usually 95 to 97 percent," he said as he sat up.
"Oh. Well, then it seem I'm 95 to 97 percent pregnant." Any doubts House had melted away as Lydia broke out in a broad smile… and managed to start crying at the same time, of course. He rose from the bed and walked over to her, having trouble holding back his own smile. He took the test stick from his girlfriend and looked at it to make sure she was reading it correctly; she was.
"No one is ever a little pregnant; leave it to you to beat the odds," he said handing her back the stick. Lydia glanced over her shoulder as she packed the test box and stick to be thrown away; she didn't want to take the chance of the kids seeing it, especially Ben who could easily put two and two together.
"I would call a 97% probability of pregnancy a lot more than a little," she said with a laugh. Rinsing off her hands, she dried them and turned to House. "I know there's still a chance that it could be something else, although I hope not for several reasons. But… are you sure you're OK with this if I am pregnant?" House leaned against the door jamb and smirked.
"Oh yeah… I can't wait to see you bloated up, fat, and wearing sweatpants with the elastic cut out of the waistband. But I suppose I'll have to put up with it… after all I did have everything to do with this happening," he said allowing one corner of his mouth to curl up in a smile.
"Everything to do with it!" Lydia said indignantly. She stood in front of him with her hands in her hips. "Are you trying to tell me I did nothing?" House tilted his head to the side.
"You did keep moaning 'Oh, Greg' a lot, and really loudly, so I guess I can give you credit for offering strong encouragement." Lydia wrapped her arms around him.
"I always do that; your sperm must have listened this time." She smiled and gave her boyfriend a kiss. House put his arms around Lydia and gave her several kisses, including a few down the side of her neck which resulted in her squirming around. She rested her head against him; House felt her relax and snuggle in against him. Whatever misgivings he had about the situation, he knew that he and Lydia would find a way to deal with it together. The way they thought alike, understood and respected each other were the things that House enjoyed most about their relationship. That and the sex.
"Are you falling asleep on me? I hope not, because I want to engage in a rare and unusual activity for us; I want to start a serious conversation." Lydia pulled her head back and looked at him curiously. Knowing he was not entirely comfortable with the possible prospect of becoming a father to his own child, she could see the conversation going in any number of directions.
"I'm fine," she said. "I just would like to get some more ginger ale and finish the rest of my muffin."
"Go have a seat," House said nodding toward the bed. "I'll zap my chow one more time and bring it all in here." Lydia watched as her boyfriend left the room. The gesture of having them sit on the bed to talk was as much for his sake as hers; his limp was more noticeable than usual as he walked away. Moving around to her side of the bed, Lydia took a pair of yoga pants out of her closet and a long sleeved t-shirt to go with it. She was just in the middle of changing when House came back with the food.
"Do I have timing or what?" he asked with a lecherous tone to his voice as he set Lydia's food down on her night stand. "Don't stop on my account; keep going." Lydia looked at him with a twinkle in her eyes as House went around to his side of the bed.
"I'd love to say that we should take advantage of the kids not being home, but I'm just not up to it," she said sadly as she swung her feet up onto the bed.
"That's OK," House said as he settled back against his pillow. "I think my leg would protest if I got too physical at the moment. All the walking we did this weekend is catching up to me." He winced as he changed positions to better suit his leg. "What time are the munchkins due home?"
"Marianne asked if they could have dinner at her house; seems Tommy and Shelly have been bugging her to have them over, so I said yes. I told her I'd pick up Ben and Elise around 7:30. Probably everyone has homework and you know they each will be chattering like crazy about their scout meetings. Ben has the pinewood derby next month and February is the cookie sale, although they start talking it up now." Lydia looked over to her boyfriend, and saw that he was leaning his head back, his eyes closed; the bowl of chili was on his lap, but he was making no attempt to eat.
"You know, there are several changes we're going to have to make around here if there is going to be a new entity in the mix." Though startled by the sudden shift in the conversation, Lydia knew he wanted to have a serious talk; she said nothing and let her boyfriend continue. "First is contacting Scotty and telling him to add an extra bedroom to the plans for the new house. Second would be setting up an education account for the kid; although given that it'll have your genes and mine put together, he/she will likely have colleges breaking down the door." Lydia smiled; she thought House was going to make this serious conversation sound dark and gloomy… she didn't have to wait long.
"The last and most important thing is postponing the operation on my leg." Almost choking on the sip of ginger ale that she had taken as House spoke, she coughed and sputtered.
No… No! Greg, absolutely not! You've suffered for too long, you've waited too long to have your leg healed!" Lydia protested. House shook his head vigorously.
"If you are pregnant, no matter how far along you may be, I will be flat on my back and doped up on painkillers when you deliver if I go through with it as scheduled. That's not happening," House said firmly, his voice becoming louder than usual. He caught himself before he spoke again and softened his tone. "You're right… I've waited too long to get this damn leg off my list of things that piss me off in this world. But I've waited too long for this, too." Very uncharacteristically, House moved his hand over to Lydia, and placed it on her abdomen, an action that a person far less cautious with their emotions would do. Lydia went to move to him, take the food away so she could hug him, when he suddenly pulled his hand back. "I'll delay the surgery for a little while. We can talk about the timing of that when all of this is confirmed… or disproved." She knew better than to push her boyfriend, so she stayed put on her side of the bed.
"You know, I can understand how the birth control pills may not have been as effective as usual, but what about the fact that I had my tubes tied? I would take it that something must have gone very wrong for that to fail," Lydia said, trying to change the subject to one slightly less emotional.
"Obviously someone needs to go back to the Boy Scouts and learn how to do square knots again; either that or a monkey's paw," House noted. "We'll be able to see with a sonogram what happened in there."
"I take it a monkey's paw is a type of knot so named for its appearance?" asked Lydia.
"Yeah… it's easier with a rope rather than a length of fallopian tube, but it would work," her boyfriend said with a smirk. "Was Collins the one who did the handiwork on you?"
"No. Ironically she was out on maternity leave when I had the procedure done. Another doctor who is no longer with the practice did it." Lydia was waiting for a wise-crack from House, so when none was forthcoming, she glanced over at him; he was frowning. "What's wrong, Hon?"
"There is one more possibility we haven't considered in relation to your symptoms," he said with a solemn tone to his voice. Lydia became concerned by his demeanor.
"What are you thinking of?" House let out a long sigh.
"What's the opposite of puberty? Speaking strictly about females, of course." His girlfriend shook her head, not understanding what House was getting at. Then, his point hit her like a ton of bricks.
"Menopause!" she yelled out. Lydia reached over and hit House on the shoulder. "I'm not going through menopause! No! No! NO!"
"Couldn't prove that by me at the moment," House said rubbing his shoulder. "Ow, that hurt!"
"I'm sorry, but you don't understand… I can't be… no! I Not yet!" Lydia rolled on to her knees to face him. House looked at his girlfriend's face with a mixture amazement and confusion. Seeing his reaction to what she said, she quickly continued; but in her rush to get her emotions out, she started speaking in her native tongue. "Meine Mutter ist vollig ausgetickt. Sie war wie ein Feuerdrache!" House stared blankly at Lydia; he wanted to see how much further he could push things until she realized he was busting her chops.
"Fraulein, I'm sure your mother was crazy, but I find it hard to believe that she became a fire-breathing dragon," House said in a flat voice.
"You didn't have to live with her," Lydia said sitting back on her heels. "She really was unbearable, yelling and screaming all the time. And when she wasn't yelling, she was crying."
"Don't worry. If you get that bad, I'll lock you in the laundry room. At least I'll have clean clothes." The smirk House had on his face rapidly dissolved into a smile and then a laugh as he saw Lydia finally realized what he was doing.
"You… you son of a… I wouldn't feel it even if I was going through menopause; the birth control pills are like hormone replacement therapy. Menopause is not why I feel sick."
"Congratulations, Dr. Fraulein… you came up with the correct answer; now maybe you'll stop taking things out on me," House said as he massaged his shoulder again.
"I'm sorry," she said leaning forward toward him and kissing him several times on the shoulder she hit. "Remembering how my mother was always rattles me."
"Yeah, I noticed," House said taking a bite of his yet unfinished food. "While you tend to be emotional and cry more than I'm comfortable with, you don't turn into a swamp monster looking to kill all within your reach; you never have since we met." As he was looking at Lydia, he saw a change in her; he could tell she wasn't feeling well again. "Time to take it easy?" Lydia sat back on her side of the bed and reached for her glass of ginger ale.
"I'm alright. Just another wave of tiredness and feeling wiped out," she said. House glanced at his cell phone; it was almost 4:30. He quickly ate the last few bites of chili that remained, and placed the bowl on his nightstand.
"As long as your stomach's co-operating, and you don't feeling upchucking, I suggest we both lie down and get some rest." Fiddling with the phone, he set the alarm. "I've got this set for 6:30. Set the clock radio for 6:45 as back-up." Lydia complied with his request. "That'll give me enough time to get you something to eat, snatch the kids back, and then head to the hospital to babysit the good old reverend."
"Greg, I can get myself something to eat. I never had anyone to help me through my pregnancies with Ben and Elise. By that time, Annie has slipped into the catatonic state after being attacked, and my ex wanted nothing to do with me each time. He thought pregnant women were disgusting, fat and ugly." House made a mental note to keep the fat jokes to a minimum if Lydia was pregnant.
"I think you'll be able to anticipate a little more assistance this time around," House said as he began to massage his leg.
"Mmm… especially from the kids," Lydia said with a laugh. House looked downward.
"How do you think Thing One and Thing Two will react to the news that they'll have to start sharing attention with a new resident of the household? I could see there being major issues with jealousy and other fun stuff."
"There's no sibling rivalry between them," Lydia pointed out. "Besides, they're not the ones who will have to make a big adjustment… you're going to have to get used to being called Daddy, so I suggest you start practicing now… just in case." House was wide-eyed as he turned to Lydia. She knew right away what was on his mind. "If there is a little one coming to join us, it will be calling you by that name… you really don't think Ben and Elise will be satisfied calling you House while their sibling calls you Daddy?" House slid down on the bed until his head rested on his pillows.
"I hadn't given it a second thought," he said ruefully, wondering how he was going to deal with the change in status from friendly, fun, go-to-guy (especially when Mom says no), to DADDY. Lydia could see by the look on his face that he wasn't enthusiastic for the thought; she wasn't surprised in the least.
"I wasn't going to mention this, but when I took the kids to see Santa before Christmas, I stayed back out of the way, and just let the two of them talk. Since Ben is now aware of what the deal is with Santa, I asked him to take note of what Elise was asking for. He came back and told me that she had asked for various toys and some clothing… and then asked for a baby brother or sister." House turned to look at Lydia.
"I heard her say that to Songbird one time before Christmas; Annie smartly referred her back to us."
"She never said a word to me, but Ben told me he wouldn't mind a sibling either." House frowned.
"Why the hell would they want to have competition?" Lydia looked like she wanted to say something; she sat there with her mouth open, seeming like she was struggling for words. "Look, I can read facial expressions, I can read body language, there are times when I can read people's minds… or at least make it seem that way. The one thing I can't do is read escaping breath from a slack-jawed mouth. What did they say?"
"They think if we have a baby together that we'd get married." House had lifted his head off the pillow as he spoke; he now let it plop back down. When the possibility of Lydia being pregnant came up a little while ago, the concept of marrying flashed through his mind… and exited just as quickly. Granted, it made no sense to say that he would commit to having and raising a child with someone, a lifelong venture to be sure, but then have reluctance at the thought of marrying them. This wasn't just anyone, he told himself; this was Lydia… this was Fraulein. What the hell was his problem? The problem was he could barely conceive of himself as a father, let alone a husband. "Hon. I really didn't want to say anything to you, but it's probably best that you know in case they approach you about it. My feelings on the subject haven't changed. I would be so happy and so proud to be your wife; if you asked, I wouldn't be able to say yes fast enough. I am aware that it's not a concept you're very comfortable dealing with; in fact it's the last thing you want. But I'm OK with it because I know that we are going to be together for the rest of our lives… with or without getting married." She reached over and took her boyfriend's hand. "I don't have a desperate need for marriage to know what we've got is the real thing. And that we'll be great parents to an enlarged family." Rather than it being reassuring to him that he was doing the right thing by not marrying Lydia, he chastised himself all the more for being a jerk after hearing what she had to say. House put the ongoing debate he had with himself out of his head as he pushed himself up into a sitting position, leaned over and pulled Lydia into his arms. He kissed her lips, her cheeks and then made his way around to her ear.
"Ich liebe dich, Fraulein," he whispered.
"Ich liebe dich, auch," Lydia replied. They continued to kiss; House wanted to do so much more at the moment, but he knew given how both of them felt, it wouldn't work out very well. Rest was what they needed.
"I hate to break this up, but we've already lost about fifteen minutes of down time. Reading the inside of our eyelids would be a good thing right about now."
"You're right," Lydia said giving House one last kiss. She turned on to her left side. "Want to spoon?" He smiled.
"Well, since we can't fork," he quipped. His girlfriend shot him a look over her shoulder.
"Gregory House, you are too much," she said as House slid his left arm under her body and draped the right one over her rib cage.
"And you enjoy every bit of the excess," he replied as he snuggled in against Lydia. House fell asleep very quickly but Lydia stayed awake, unable to stop thinking about the possibilities of what was happening to her. Either something very bad was going on inside of her or something very wonderful. House seemed to be leaning toward the idea that she was pregnant, but did he really think that or was he just trying to keep her calm? Lydia felt House move; as he did, his hand moved down from her rib cage to her lower belly. She closed her eyes and smiled. His gesture provided her with an answer….
Neither one wanted to move when the alarm went off at 6:30, and in fact it took the clock radio blasting out ABBA before House was willing to move, if only to go shut off the damn music. He splashed some water on his face to further wake himself up, then headed to the kitchen. Lydia kept insisting that she could make own food, but he did convince her to let him make her a grilled ham and cheese sandwich while she had some soup. House wasn't entirely satisfied that she had enough to eat, and made her promise she would have something more later on. After bringing the kids home, who were talkative just like their mother had predicted, he headed back over to PPTH to relieve Chase of his watch over Thomas. Bell continued to stabilize and his testing times had been spread out to forty minute intervals with little need to give additional food; the IV's alone were working. When House first arrived, Thomas was anxious to talk, but as the night wore on, the events of the day were catching up to him and he slept even through his finger stick tests. When House wasn't grabbing some more sleep himself, he tried to keep himself occupied by playing games on his phone and deleting unwanted emails. What was going on with Lydia kept pushing forward into his mind, but he was able to sufficiently distract himself. One in the afternoon couldn't come soon enough.
After Thirteen arrived at seven in the morning to give House a break, he headed to his office and the lounge chair waiting there. Sleep, however was not coming to him. Between the noises of the hospital's daily routines, and the nagging thoughts in his head, it was no use. Seeing that Thirteen had joined Chase and Taub in the conference room, House took advantage of the situation to address the issue that arose with treating Bell. While all admitted fault in the situation, there was a spirited conversation about how does one mange to administer proper care and deal with emotional attachments at the same time. House's answer was to not form any attachments to begin with, but his argument was quickly shot down by the others. In fact, the team was surprised at how lackluster his participation in the debate had been; of course, they had no idea what was on his mind. Lydia had called him when she arrived at work; she was tired, and had the dry heaves earlier, but was holding on. House could think of multiple things that could be done to give his girlfriend some measure of relief, but there was no point in even considering them until they knew for sure where things stood. Finally, twelve noon came, and House made an excuse of having to take care of some personal business with Lydia to the team, saying he would be back later. He called Lydia on his way to the elevators, telling her he would meet her in the lobby. He wanted to take as few chances as possible of running into someone they knew; House was in no mood for small talk. So of course, who should be standing by the elevators as the doors opened, but Wilson.
"Where have you been hiding?" Wilson asked. "I haven't seen you all morning."
"Did an overnight with Bell. His numbers are improving rapidly, but he's still going to be stuck here until Thursday." Wilson noticed that House seemed uncomfortable with his presence. He kept looking around and fiddling with his cane even more so than usual. The two had moved beyond the reception desk, closer to the front door.
"Going somewhere? Only working half a day?" Wilson inquired. House rolled his eyes. If his friend hadn't become a doctor, he would have made a great attorney given his penchant for asking questions.
"Taking care of some personal business with Fraulein," House replied, keeping the response the same as he gave his team. "We'll be back later." Wilson eyed him suspiciously.
"I'm… not questioning where you're going or what you're doing. I'm just… confused. I thought personal business is what we were going to be discussing Friday night when Annie and I come over for dinner." House pursed his lips.
"We will." He looked to his left and saw Lydia coming. "I'll clue you in when I know something." Wilson was more puzzled than before.
"Hello, James; how are you?" Lydia asked cheerfully as she approached the two men.
"I'm fine. How are you feeling, any better?"
"Half and half, but I'm getting there. I spoke to Annie this morning; she told me she thought she felt the baby move." Wilson smiled.
"If it did, it was just a quick little sensation, but she's sure she felt it. Maybe it'll keep busier next time and say hello to Daddy." Both Wilson and me… fathers? I'd lay odds on a Kardashian being camera shy before I'd take a bet on dual fatherhood, thought House. Suddenly, he realized Lydia had been speaking to him.
"Are you ready to go, Hon?"
"Yeah," House said turning his back on his friend and walking away.
"See you later, James," Lydia said as she followed her boyfriend. Wilson couldn't quite put his finger on it, but he knew that something was going on…..
House was pacing back and forth, unable to keep still. He kept pulling open various drawers and examining their contents. They had arrived at the doctor's office early, but the staff took them right in. Lydia had changed into a gown and was sitting on the exam table, swinging her legs back and forth; she was as nervous as her boyfriend. Finally there was a knock on the door.
"Come in," Lydia called out. The familiar face of Dr. Collins, Lydia's long time OB/GYN peeked around the corner of the door.
"Hi, Lydia; how have you been feeling? Although I think I already know," Dr. Collins said with a smile. As she stepped into the room, and saw that House was there, she reacted with surprise. "Dr. House… hello… nice to see you. Is… Ms. Strohman your patient, too?"
"No. My relationship with Ms. Strohman involves a more intimate nature; i.e. I have seen her naked," House said with a smirk.
"Dr. Collins, Dr. House is my boyfriend." The doctor nodded her head in understanding.
"Glad to see your taste in men has vastly improved," Collins said with a laugh. "I only met your ex the one time we ran into each other in the stores, but I knew you could do better." The doctor looked down at Lydia's chart. "Well I have to admit, I'm a little taken back to see you here in your present condition." Lydia and House looked at each other; she reached out for his hand.
"You… you mean I am… you're sure?" Lydia stammered. Dr. Collins went around behind Lydia and slightly elevated the head of the table.
"Lay back," she said. Collins draped a sheet over Lydia's pelvic area and rolled up the edge of the exam gown. "Now let's see if we can get something a little more personal than a dip stick reading." Squeezing a little gel on Lydia's abdomen, Collins moved what looked to be a microphone attached to a radio around on her stomach. After a moment, the doctor smiled as a faint thumping sound could be heard from the unit she was holding.
"Ah… now this is much more personal," she said increasing the volume. "Lydia, Dr. House… give a listen to your baby's heartbeat."