"To Have and Have Not"
Chapter Five – "I Think You Should Have a Seat"
By: purpleu
"Damn! Wish I had a monster truck at my disposal; I'd turn that moron's Beamer into a stepped-on Matchbox car!" Yet another discourteous driver had just cut off the van sparking House's outburst. He was glad that he and Lydia were getting near PPTH. It seemed like there were countless motorists on the road today who were pissing him off. Whether that was because the number of reckless drivers was high, or he was very aware that they… or rather Lydia… was carrying precious cargo in the van, House neither knew nor cared. He was just getting majorly annoyed.
"Daddy didn't mean that, sweetie; he's not a meanie," Lydia said running her hand over her stomach which was still rather flat; no obvious baby bump was evident. House glanced over at his girlfriend and rolled his eyes.
"Yes, Daddy did mean it; don't lie to the kid before it's even born. There'll be plenty of time for that later on. And if the bambino is as smart as its parents are, he/she will figure out what an ass its father is real fast."
"Shhh! Watch your language! They say babies can hear things even while in the womb," Lydia replied in a sing-song voice. "I think we should get one of those signs that say "Baby on Board" and put it in the van's window. And I should get a shirt that says the same thing, but with an arrow pointing down to my tummy." They were at a red light, so House had the leisure of time to turn to Lydia with a horrified expression. Her eyes were as wide as saucers and she had a weird smile on her face; if he didn't know better, House would swear she was high. When the light changed to green, he continued forward into the left turn lane in order to gain access to the hospital's parking lot. Grim-faced as he waited for the turn signal, he was trying to tell if Lydia was serious or being a tease, something she was very good at. If she was going to be like this for the rest of the pregnancy… or worse for the rest of the kid's life…
"I think one of the walls of the baby's room should be painted with a giant rainbow, and have lots of sparkly little unicorns grazing in a meadow of daisies and buttercups underneath it." That was it; that last obnoxiously saccharine-laced comment broke House's resolve to be a willing and supportive partner in this project. Despite the fact that the light had turned green for the turn lane, House put the van into park, turned off the engine, and sat staring straight ahead with his hands on the steering wheel. It didn't take long for the cars lined up behind them to make their displeasure known. Lydia wouldn't acknowledge their situation; instead she was humming the theme to "Barney" and staring out the window.
"This vehicle is not moving until you tell me that you were busting my balls just now," House said in an icy voice. "Because if you weren't… I still have enough things left in my old apartment to ride out the insanity of the coming hormonal deluge. I will use it as a place to run and hide." The drivers waiting to make a left turn were now swerving around House, making their displeasure loudly heard with verbal comments. Lydia sat in the passenger seat with a shocked look on her face, still ignoring the problem they were causing.
"Greg… I don't understand what you mean," she said innocently. House gave her a look.
"Hold on," he said as he started to unbuckle his seat belt. "I want to step out of the car and indicate to our fellow motorists just how sorry I'm not that we're in their way." With that, House took his gloves off and held up the middle finger of his right hand as he started to open the door.
"Greg, seriously… what do you think I was doing? Now stop and behave yourself! With your luck, you'll become a victim of road rage while standing still," said Lydia in her normal voice. "Get the car going and pull into the parking lot." She looked nervously behind them. "And make sure we're not being followed by a crazy person. I don't look pregnant enough to extract sympathy from anyone." House chuckled as he turned over the engine and put the car in gear. In a few moments they were in the far auxiliary parking lot, the one usually employed for an overflow of cars when there were seminars and meetings being held at the hospital. House and Lydia found that the rarely used area was a quiet place for them to sit in the van and have lunch… or anything else they wanted to do… with little chance of interruption.
"You still haven't said you were crushing my kahunas with that nonsense you were babbling before," he said putting the car into park after he pulled into the last row. "I assume it was revenge for me saying something about you possibly being menopausal last night." Lydia frowned as she looked at House.
"Did you really think I was going to let that go unanswered?" she asked. House shut off the car.
"You should have known that there was no way you'd be feeling any type of menopausal side effects while you were on the Pill. Birth control pills are nothing but a bunch of hormones devised to fool the body into thinking it's pregnant. What do they give women who are having trouble dealing with their middle-aged decent into madness?"
"Hormone replacement therapy," Lydia said sadly, knowing her boyfriend was correct. "Alright… so I should have picked up on that. But you should have known that I was teasing you with all of those over the top things I was saying. I may like cute things, but I'm not crazy."
"You fell in love with me, didn't you? If that's not the definition of crazy, I don't know what is. And just so you know, sometimes you're too cutesy for my own good." Lydia looked at her boyfriend in disbelief.
"Too cute for your own good? Name one thing I've done that's too cutesy." House frowned, but he knew he had her.
"Remember the time we went to that country fair at the school? You made me pose for a picture with us in those old west costumes."
"You could have said no, but you didn't. Besides… I thought you liked having a saloon girl on your lap." Lydia leaned over to House. "That wasn't just a holstered gun I felt, Cowboy." House smiled.
"Yeah, you did look very… very good in that outfit. It's why I have it as the screen saver on my phone." Surprised, Lydia leaned further over to take a look as he held the phone in his lap.
"I never noticed you put that picture of us there."
"It's not of us; I cropped it so it showed only you," House replied with a smirk. He started to fiddle with his phone until the picture came up. "And I've made sure you've never seen it; didn't want you telling me to take it down." Lydia shook her head.
"Well, I'm very glad you have it; because in a short amount of time all you're going to have is photographs and memories… at least until I get my figure back again."
"You're near the end of your first trimester; this January 6th and your due date according to Dr. Collins is July 5th. I think you have a little way to go before you start popping," replied House. "And I'm not worried about you getting your figure back… I'll be helping you out with my own special brand of exercise." He raised his eye brows up and down, leering at her as he took a drink of his coffee. Lydia laughed as she reached down into the bag of food they picked up at Cherry Valley Deli. Pulling out a bottle of ginger ale, she uncapped it and took a big drink.
"Hon, do you mind if we move to the back seat so I can put my feet up? I know they aren't swollen, but they do feel extremely achy today," said Lydia.
"No problem… I'm appreciating the thought already," House said knowing he'd be able to put his leg up on the folded-down seat back. He left the car and made his way around the front to the passenger side. Lydia was just stepping out when House offered her his free hand.
"I can do it, Greg," his girlfriend insisted.
"At least you didn't say, 'I'm pregnant, not crippled.' Take it while you can," House said. "After you have the kid, this sort of courtesy will be history." He pressed a button making the side door slide open. Just as he was helping Lydia climb into the rear passenger compartment, there were two toots of a horn.
"Hey, Dr. House! Hey, Ms. Strohman!" Lydia and House turned toward the familiar voice.
"Hi, Jerry!" Lydia called out. "Happy New Year! How have you been?"
"Can't complain," he replied. "Gotta keep moving; got a ride-along. Enjoy your lunch." Jerry was one of two security guards that patrolled the back lot. He and Eddie, the other guard, had stopped and questioned House and Lydia the first few times they had parked in the area. But after seeing them repeatedly, the two men had become friendly toward the pair. As the guard pulled away, House scowled.
"Something wrong?" Lydia asked as she made her way back to the last bench seat.
"No… just thought I recognized the guy in the passenger seat. Looked like that pseudo business expert/board member who was shooting his mouth off in the lobby yesterday morning. What's next on his list of things to attack around here? The mileage racked up by the security patrol?" House asked as he joined Lydia in the back of the van. He released the latch holding up the back of the bench seat in front of them; it flattened out to a perfect leg rest.
"When I went back to my department yesterday, my assistant Patricia, who's been here even longer than you, came in to see me," Lydia began. "She had been walking through the lobby and stopped to listen to what Durbin was saying about downsizing the hospital. It seems he's Charles Durbin, Jr.; he basically inherited his seat on the board when his father passed away." She opened up her container of chicken noodle soup and took a few spoonfuls. "The irony is, it was Durbin Sr. who helped make the hospital what it is. Before he came on the scene, it was simply Princeton-Plainsboro Hospital; he's the one who helped make it a teaching hospital."
"But unlike his father, Sonny Boy doesn't see the value in keeping things the way they are," House noted.
"No, he doesn't. In fact, he sees the value in shrinking the hospital down… for the sake of his own pocket." House gave Lydia a knowing look as he took a bite of his roast beef hero.
"How much of an investment does he have in those one-size fits all clinics? And how the hell did you find out about it?" he asked through a mouthful of food.
"We don't know the extent of his involvement, but we do know he's a partner. 'We' is some of the accountants. Adam and I were going over some write-offs of bad accounts, and he just started talking about Durbin, Jr. The accounting people never mention the details of anything, Adam says, but their collective dislike for Durbin is an established fact." House shook his head in amazement.
"With all the time you spend in coffee klatches, gossiping with everyone who walks in your office, how the hell do you manage to get any work done?" It was now Lydia's turn to shake her head.
"Look who's talking! Every time I stop in your office, you're on the computer playing games," she countered.
"It used to be playing games or watching porn; but I've changed my ways," he said leaning his head over to her with a fake smile.
"I've never seen any evidence of porn since we've been together, but… "
"Always said you can check my computer at work, at home, or my phone any time you want; I have reformed myself." House could see his girlfriend's face had changed to a sad expression. Flipping through possible causes as quickly as his mind would let him, he figured out the problem and what to say. "My reformation is all your fault. You made me realize why should I just waste my time watching other people have fun, when I can do so much better with the real-life woman next to me?" As Lydia smiled, House was thankful he remembered that Lydia's father's penchant for porn and other women put a terrible strain her parents' marriage. With her hormones being in high gear, this was not the time to deal with such a sensitive subject. In truth, he hadn't looked at any adult films, or anything else of that nature since he and Lydia got back together; he had tried to watch the Playboy channel when he had moved out for those few days back in November, but he felt guilty. It felt to him like he was cheating on her. Damn, the effect this woman has had on me, House thought to himself. He leaned over and began to kiss Lydia's neck, working his way up to her ear until she started squirming.
"Greg! I have hot soup in my hands!" Lydia protested. House raised his hands up in mock protest.
"I'll back off for now, but I reserve the right to demand a rain check." Seeing him grimace in pain as he moved back away from her, Lydia placed the lid on the container of soup and put it aside. She reached over and began to massage his leg. House leaned his head back and closed his eyes, enjoying the relief her hands provided. "Was it that obvious that I was a hurtin' puppy?" House asked, wincing once or twice as his girlfriend continued to work at his leg.
"I noticed you were rubbing it on Sunday when we came home; yesterday, you were limping more than usual and now your face looks strained."
"Of course my face looks strained… I just found out I'm going to have to share the X-Box with yet another pair of greedy little hands." Lydia rolled her eyes.
"I was thinking more along the lines of actual usage. You overdid it when we were in the city." House sighed.
"It was so long since I had been to New York just to enjoy the sights and sounds of the place that I wasn't going to let anything stop me. I was having too good of a time… and the company I had made it all the better." Lydia wanted to smile, but her concerns about her boyfriend's leg stopped her.
"Hon, I really want you to think things through before you cancel the operation. We have plenty of people who would gladly help us… "
"It's acting up because I slacked off doing my PT over the holidays," House said, looking and sounding annoyed. "And Tom didn't exactly push me to keep my appointments." He turned his face away from Lydia, and stared out of the window. "As far as the operation, we can talk about when to reschedule it after Junior shows up and you're back on your feet. Since you were planning on starting med school in August of next year, we'll have a year plus between you birthin' a baby and hitting the books." Lydia wanted to say something to reassure her boyfriend that everything would be OK; that there had to be another way to handle things, a way that would bring him relief from his leg sooner. The dilemma over how to deal with the delay in his operation was the only thing taking away from their joy over the baby news. But as House sat silently, showing interest in nothing but his sandwich and coffee, she knew he was in no mood for looking on the bright side of things. Instead, Lydia returned her attention back to her soup; they had already been gone over an hour and she didn't want to raise any suspicions by staying out too long. She put her turkey sandwich back in the bag from Cherry Valley and folded over the top; it would have to be eaten at her desk. "Are you OK?" Startled, Lydia turned to House.
"Yes, I'm fine. I just decided to eat my sandwich when I get back inside." House frowned.
"Am I going to have to send in a drone to keep an eye on you and make sure you eat? You might as well take advantage of the 'eating for two' load of bull while you can." Lydia laughed.
"Don't worry… I'm actually hungry and my stomach is calm at the moment." Nodding, House took a sip of coffee.
"So… when do you want to tell the rugrats that their request to Santa has been fulfilled and is on the way?" Lydia smiled at House's choice of words.
"I was thinking we'd tell them after the tests results come back. Dr. Collins said she should have them in from the lab by early to midafternoon tomorrow. We could pick the kids up from school, tell them the good news, then come back to the hospital and tell Thomas. After that, we can stop by Annie and James's place to let them in on the secret."
"You know once Wilson finds out, all chance of secrecy flies out the window," House noted. "Or is it your intention to let him act as the messenger to the rest of the world?" Lydia considered the question for a moment.
"I was thinking that we could tell the rest of our friends next week Saturday. It's Thomas' birthday and everyone is coming over for coffee and cake." House shook his head.
"No matter how deeply you stuff the sock in his mouth to shut him up, Wilson will find a way to spit out the soggy wad before then." Lydia chuckled, knowing what House was saying about his friend was true.
"You know… it may be me you have to worry about more than anyone else. I can't wait to tell everyone the wonderful news… especially the children." Smiling despite the food in his mouth, House nodded.
"After what you told me last night about them wanting a sibling, Curly Top will do her impression of an air raid siren and Doogie will start pulling out his medical books, looking everything up concerning pregnancy and asking a million questions. Either way I'm going to wind up with a case of brain strain." House looked downward and appeared to Lydia, to be focused on nothing in particular; she could feel that his mood had taken a change. "The candidate for the most difficult reveal goes to Bell; he's going to be an emotional wreck." Lydia reached over and took House's hand.
"You're thinking about your mom," she said gently.
"Yeah… and so will he." House turned his head to Lydia; she saw his eyes were glistening with tears. She let go of his hand, and brought hers up to stroke the side of his face.
"I know you don't believe in an afterlife in any form… but you know I do. And I firmly believe your mom knows what's happening and is smiling." She put her hand on her stomach. "She's our baby's guardian angel." House smirked at his girlfriend's opinion; saying he didn't believe in what she did was an understatement. No, he was not going to rely on some ghostly, spiritual presence to take care of his kid… he, Lydia and Dr. Collins would do that. However difficult it would be, House knew he'd have to make an effort to be tolerant of the various points of view on the subject of protection radiating from the beyond… no matter how idiotic they were. "We'd better finish up eating and get back into work," Lydia said packing up the remnants of the food. "We don't want to be the subject of too many prying questions."
"It's OK, I know exactly how to deal with the morons who ask too many questions… ignore them." Lydia shook her head, amazed as ever that however rude her boyfriend's methods may be, they always worked. He's a unique, incredible man, Lydia thought. And I know despite the impression he's given people through the years, he'll be there for the kids and me… all of us…
House and Lydia returned to the hospital. Lydia went straight back to her department, where despite a number of messages, no one inquired about her extended lunch hour. House made a stop at Thomas' room to check to see how things were going. The team had removed one of the dextrose IV's, finding that Bell's blood sugar was remaining stable with the single IV and normal food consumption. Jack and Millie, his mom's and Thomas' friends of many years, had come to visit him as did one of Thomas' fellow ministers from the area. Bell sought reassurance from House that he would be out of the hospital by Friday. There was a meeting going on among local religious leaders to set up a new, better equipped homeless shelter and Thomas was part of the planning committee.
"I was very honored when they asked me to be a part of this venture," Bell told his son. "It's the biggest project of anything I've dealt with in a while." House held his poker face, but couldn't wait to see what the old guy would think of the even bigger deal that was going to be a part of his life in the near future. Heading next to his office and the conference room, House found Chase, Thirteen and Taub engaged in a lively discussion.
"I don't understand why you're obsessing over this. Even if you can find a pattern of mistakes, that's all they'll be chalked up to… mistakes," Chase said, shaking his head as he looked at Thirteen's laptop screen. "I know you're upset about what happen to Thomas; we all are. But a few other errors in random locations of these walk-in places doesn't prove anything."
"I know that," Thirteen said sounding exasperated. "But I also know what Foreman told me about that bastard Durbin; he's trying to ruin the hospital in favor of those stupid clinics he's a part owner in. And Princeton General is next."
"Can you even prove that he really does hold an interest in the clinics?" Taub asked, also reading over Thirteen's shoulder. Thirteen hit a few keys on her computer.
"There's incorporation filing for all the world to see," she said, waving her hand at the screen. House had stayed by the doorway between his office and the conference area; the team hadn't even noticed him.
"So, it seems that despite the fact that you two no longer share a bed, the pillow talk continues between you and Licorice Stick," House said as he moved over to the table. "What prompted the Holmesian inquiry on your part?" Chase and Taub looked at each other and walked away from Thirteen's side of the table.
"I had clinic duty earlier in the day. Another person came in ill after being given the wrong medication from one of these specialty clinics. This time it was thyroid medication instead of anxiety medication," Thirteen explained.
"Which made the person all the more anxious when his heart started to race from the inappropriate medicine," House noted. "So two black marks against the Walmart of medical care… got anything else?"
"Yes, a woman went to Princeton General last week having an adverse reaction to radiation therapy. Nothing unusual, but when they accessed her records… which one of these centers was reluctant to turn over… it seems she was getting the radiation therapy in one of their offices, not a hospital."
"That's no big deal," Chase pointed out.
"It is if you don't actually have cancer," Thirteen replied. She looked up at House. "She was completely mishandled. Not only did she not have cancer, even if she did, they started the radiation before removing the one swollen lymph node in her neck… which, by the way, was benign." House frowned and narrowed his eyes.
"How do you know what's going on over at Princeton General?" he asked. Thirteen appeared flustered and returned to looking at her computer.
"I know someone who works there," she quickly said. House smiled.
"And the date with her didn't go very well, I take it," he said.
"Can we please stick to the subject of medicine?" Taub asked stepping in to deflect any personal question their boss aimed at Thirteen.
"We can do that… only because I'm in a reasonably good mood." The team looked at House in surprise.
"Why are you in a good mood?" asked Chase. House wanted to kick himself; there was no way he was ready to handle finding out Lydia was pregnant, and sharing the news with the team all in the span of a few hours.
"I was with Fraulein, ate a roast beef sandwich that mooed at me, and had my girlfriend's hands all over my leg. Can't get much better than that… except if I didn't have to come back in here. Besides, I said I was in a reasonably good mood. Still not the time to ask for a raise or for permission to play with Ball-y."
"According to what Foreman told me, raises are out of the question for the foreseeable future," Thirteen said bitterly. There was silence for a moment as each of them avoided looking at the others.
"Is the department really in danger of being eliminated? Or at least downsized?" Chase finally asked. "There's no point in denying it, House. You've managed to find ways to avoid discussing the subject with us, but since Durbin showed up here yesterday… a lot of people have been talking." House walked over to the head of the table, sat down in the chair that was there, and put his feet up on the table.
"Durbin is one board member, and not a very popular one at that," House said as he rapped his cane on the floor. "At least among the generic workforce around here. It's a given that Chuck-E Cheese has political ambitions and is using the hospital and the 'improvements' he's promoting as a jumping off point. Once he's finished playing games with us, we'll get put in the back of the toy box again, and we'll be forgotten."
"That would be OK," Taub said. "As long as he doesn't do too much damage before everything is said and done."
"From the performance he gave in the lobby yesterday, he reminds me more of a Disney automatronic creation than anything with a brain. The best thing we can do for now is stay off of his radar. Which," House said turning to Thirteen. "Would best be achieved by not accusing him of anything that you can't take to the state medical board. Get a pile of evidence together and show it to your former paramour before you do anything. There would have to be some major screw-ups before he could be brought down." Thirteen looked disgusted.
"Like what? Someone dying?" she asked. House swung his feet off the table and stood up.
"That would be helpful," he said, making his way back to his office. He had downplayed Durbin's ability to do the department any harm; he didn't have a great opinion of the man for multiple reasons. He had doubted he was anything more than talk, but after seeing him riding with the security guard today, House began to wonder just what this guy's plans were. He put any thoughts he had of the situation or of the news of impending fatherhood out of his mind. Lydia had reminded him that his department was still holding on to charts that needed final review so her department could bill them out. House hated the paperwork, but it would make Lydia's job easier and less stressful if he took care of it. He put on his reading glasses and let out a sigh. Damn the things a guy was forced to deal with just to make his woman less cranky while pregnant with his kid, he thought. House smiled; it was worth it…..
"How did the shoulder treat you during scrimmage today?" House and Lydia had picked up the children after work from their indoor soccer league practice. Ben was required to attend since he had been selected for the travel team; Elise was participating because she liked to do whatever her big brother was doing.
"It didn't hurt at all. I guess since it's been almost two months since I got rammed into the goalpost, it's all healed up now," Ben replied. "Besides, we only did open field work since it was the first day. I think next week I'll be in goal."
"Remember to bring your helmet next week," Lydia said as she made a note in her phone for herself. "It's required that goalies wear one on the indoor league." The boy made a face.
"I feel stupid wearing it inside," he complained.
"You'll look stupid with your head split open," House countered. "The last thing the school or the league wants is to have blood seeping into its shiny, highly polished and slippery wooden gym floor." Ben shrugged.
"OK… I'll wear it," he said with resignation.
"I kicked the ball all over the place and I didn't hurt and there was no blood," Elise proudly announced.
"Good for you, sweetie," Lydia said.
"The coaches were saying that this year, the travel team wasn't just going to play in New Jersey; we're going to travel to a whole bunch of different states. It'll be cool." House and Lydia quickly exchanged glances. Both knew depending on how Lydia's pregnancy was going, travel may not be cool for her at all. Yet another thing to have to deal with, House thought… a pre-existing condition known as older siblings. Heknew Lydia had handled both of her prior pregnancies on her own since her ex was a jerk; House also knew they could handle whatever came up together. The rest of the ride home was taken up by the kids relating how their day went and expressing excitement over the upcoming winter carnival the school was holding. House listened with only half an ear, focusing instead on driving; he was still feeling sleep deprived from staying overnight with Bell. Lydia insisted that he lay down when they got home, saying she felt well enough to pull dinner together. It was only a thirty-minute nap, but House felt rested enough to take Ben to the hobby shop after dinner so they could begin to get ideas for the car the boy would make for the Boy Scout Pinewood Derby. Having never been a scout, House found all of the rules and regulations ridiculously annoying. However, after learning that there was an award for the coolest looking car, he and Ben decided what kind of vehicle the child would build; a monster truck.
A quiet night led into an anxious morning. Both House and Lydia kept their phones out on their desks waiting for the call from Dr. Collins. Around noon, House decided to get something to eat from the cafeteria. Once they got the all's clear from the doctor and started to play town crier, he wasn't sure when he'd be able to get something to eat. Heading down to the lobby, House was soon wishing he had just dealt with the pain and taken the stairs rather than the elevator. The car stopped at the third floor, and who should enter but Charles Durbin. House refused to acknowledge the man as he quickly pushed the button for the ground floor.
"Dr. House… correct? I'm Charles Durbin; I'm a member of the board of directors of the hospital… " And overall ass it would seem, House thought. The door of the elevator opened onto the lobby allowing for House to make a fast exit and avoid the hand that Durbin had extended to him.
"I know who you are," House said tersely. "I saw your medicine show performance in the lobby yesterday. Didn't anyone ever tell you hospitals are supposed to be quiet places so people can lay around and wait for doctors to do their magic? Make the blind see and the lame walk?" Durbin chuckled.
"Dr. House, you are known for being both famous and infamous. I've seen the proof of the former… and now I'm experiencing the latter it would seem." House continued to ignore Durbin as he walked toward the hospital entrance; he realized the best way to get rid of the jerk was to get in the van and drive away. It was worth putting lunch on hold.
"My dual identity has worked for me for years… I see no reason to change."
"Well, now that's where I have a problem, Dr. House," Durbin said, placing his hand on House's arm to stop him from walking further. "You have a superior and well-deserved reputation. But it's also well-known that you rarely see patients. You instead send your instructions for treatment out through the employees of your department… your team, I believe they are called. While comprised of only three people, it seems to me that if you ventured out of your office once in a while, that number could be trimmed back to say… one or two." House pulled his arm away from Durbin's grasp and scowled as the man continued. "Under normal circumstances, three could stand as an acceptable number without too much questioning. However, after Dr. Cuddy's untimely exit, it has been discovered that the financial health of the hospital is not as good as the health of some of its patients. Then again, you probably knew that already since Dr. Foreman is your former employee and Dr. Wilson, your friend." House was having less and less tolerance for Durbin as the minutes passed. But just as he had advised Thirteen, it was best not to provoke the moron… at least until more dirt could be dug up on his connection to the stand-alone clinics.
"You're right… you haven't told me anything I didn't already know; therefore this conversation is becoming boring and infringing on my lunchtime. Since neither one of those facts makes me happy, I'm leaving," House said turning away from Durbin.
"Dr. House… " Durbin called out. "I'm doing my own assessment of all areas of this hospital. And none of the departments are excluded, in spite of what their reputations may be. My recommendations will be forwarded to the entire board of directors; which, needless to say, they are all very eager to stem the bleeding of funds from here. After all," Durbin said as he took a few steps toward House. "It would be better to do some across the board cut-backs of blatant excesses, rather than face the prospect of having to close this institution down because it went bankrupt." House had heard enough. He was tired of Durbin's vain attempt to threaten him, his team, and the hospital, all for personal gain. It was a waste of his time; House was in more pain than usual, hungry, and anxious to hear that the first set of tests on the baby were OK. The little patience he had, ran out.
"I wonder what Daddy Durbin would think about what the seed of his loins is doing? Trying to tear down his legacy would put you in the time-out corner for sure." House looked down at the floor. "Do everyone concerned a favor… if you really want to dive into the cesspool of morality known as politics… find a different building to go jump off of." Without another word, House walked gingerly through the open sliding door of the hospital entrance, leaving Durbin standing alone and slack-jawed in the lobby. He headed straight for the van, which was parked in the first handicapped spot. House silently rebuked himself as he climbed into the driver's seat; he thought perhaps he had gone overboard by attacking Durbin a little too personally. But at the moment, House really didn't give a damn whether the idiot liked what he said or not; the nine word text he received wiped away any other thoughts he had.
Dr. Collins Says Baby and Mommy are both OK!
House smiled. Right now, he felt he could handle any problem that was thrown at him… except the gnawing hunger pains in his stomach. He pulled out of the parking lot in search of something to tide him over until he and Lydia picked up the kids.
Two-thirty came around quickly, and as he did every Wednesday, he left to pick up the children, this time accompanied by Lydia. She had made the excuse of not feeling well, blaming it on a lingering case of the flu, and left her office at the same time. As usual, she brought work home with her, but she doubted she would get much done tonight.
"Ready for this?" House asked as they pulled up by the school.
"I think so. I'm just hoping I can keep it in until we get home," Lydia said.
"Please do. If you say something in the car, Curly Top's scream will either shatter the windshield or prompt someone to call the cops… or both," House said taking a drink of soda. "This is something that needs to be done in a private, wide-open space." Lydia laughed, and gave her boyfriend's hand a squeeze before she left the van to go meet the children by the school door. House was glad he had a few minutes of solitude so he could massage his leg without Lydia seeing him. If he let on just how much it was getting to him, she'd start in again about finding a way to both have the baby and getting his leg operated on, all at the same time. It just wasn't going to happen. In a bit, his girlfriend emerged from the sea of humanity that was the norm for dismissal time at the school.
"Hi, House. Mommy's not feeling well," Elise reported to him as she climbed into her booster seat.
"Yeah, I was surprised she said that since she was the one meeting us outside of the school," Ben said climbing into the van behind his sister. "Hey, House." The boy held up his hand for a fist bump before settling into his seat.
"I just wanted to see if some fresh air would help," his mother said as she buckled herself in and looked back at the kids. "Everyone set to go?"
"Ready!" House got the car going through the gridlock that surrounded the school and headed for the house. It didn't take too long before he was pulling into the driveway and they were all heading inside.
"Kids… hang up your coats and come into the living room," Lydia said once they were upstairs. "House and I need to talk to you." The two kids looked at each other.
"Is everything OK?" Ben asked, thinking of the fact that they had just been told that their mother was sick.
"Everything is fine," House said dismissively. "Come on… get your coats hung up and quit stalling." He and Lydia sat on opposite ends of the couch, leaving room for the children to sit in-between them; neither one was doing a very good job of hiding their nervousness despite the fact that they had gone over what to say a dozen times since finding out the news yesterday. Ben and Elise entered the room apprehensively, not sure what to expect.
"Come… sit down," Lydia said patting the empty space on the couch. The children did as they were told, both wondering what was going on. "We know that you had made a request at Christmas for something… special… but something that would be… difficult to get," their mother said, trying not to stumble over her words. Lydia was supposed to be the one to break the news, but House's impatience got the best of him
"Long story short, somewhere around the beginning of July, it's going to get crowded around here," House said trying to keep a frown on his face.
"Huh?" Ben said at first; then slowly, what his mother and House had hinted at struck home with the boy. "Really… REALLY?!" Ben jumped off the couch and looked back and forth between the two adults. "Seriously?"
"For realz," House said, allowing himself a slight smile as he pulled up an image on his cell phone and showed it to the boy.
"YES!" Ben yelled.
"What?" Elise asked. "I don't get it."
"Mom's pregnant, you doofus! We're going to have a baby brother!"
"Or sister," House pointed out as he turned his phone around for Elise to see the sonogram picture. "Actually it looks like an alien ghost, but… " His comment was cut off by a high-pitched squeal of delight from the girl, just as House had predicted. Elise threw herself into her mother's arms as Ben came over to do the same. House snapped two quick pictures of the happy scene with his phone; he knew Lydia would appreciate them.
"Hello in there, little brother or sister!" Elise said bending her head down to her mother's abdomen. "I love you, Mom."
"I love you, too, sweetie," Lydia said stroking her daughter's head.
"This is so cool!" Ben exclaimed. He looked up from his mother's arms, and saw House at the other end of the couch just observing the scene. The boy slipped away from his mother as his sister continued to babble on about the news. He came over to House, stood in front of him for a moment, then Ben put his arms around him. House still found it difficult to be overtly affectionate toward the kids; but whether it was the fact that they were sharing the happy news together, or something else, House managed to return the boy's gesture. "So, when is the baby's exact due date?" Ben asked standing up straight again.
"July 5th," his mom responded. "At least I won't have to deal with the hot weather and being pregnant at the same time." Ben looked deep in thought.
"So you guys have known for a while now," he said sounding at little disappointed.
"No, we just found out yesterday. I didn't show signs the way most women do because of the medicine I take," Lydia explained, glad that her son was mature enough and into to medicine to the extent that he knew the purpose of birth control pills.
"But… how?" the boy started to ask.
"We'll talk about it later," House interjected with a knowing look. Ben nodded and backed off.
"It would be nice if the baby was a 4th of July baby," Elise said, bouncing up and down on the couch. "But maybe the fireworks would scare it."
"Babies are born with only two natural fears," her brother announced. "The fear of falling and the fear of loud noises."
"Didn't I say that he would involve medicine in this discussion somehow?" House asked Lydia with a smirk.
"Yes… yes you did," she laughed.
"Mom, can you show the pictures from the baby photo albums you have?" Lydia's daughter asked. "I want to see what the baby will look like." Ben rolled his eyes.
"Dummy! Mom was married to a different guy back then."
"I know that! But I look just like Mom and you look a lot like Aunt Annie, so the baby could look like anybody," Elise protested. "And I'm not a dummy!"
"No, neither one of you are," Lydia said stepping in quickly. "You both know talking like that is not allowed here. Now, come on, sweetie… let's go get those albums and bring them out here." Lydia stood from the couch and took a few steps, with her daughter starting to follow. Elise suddenly stopped, turned, and made her way to where House was sitting.
"House, I love you," the child said as she gave him a big hug. She let go of him, went back to her mother, and took her hand. Lydia looked at her boyfriend and smiled; she loved seeing a reminder that House had won her children's hearts over as easily as he did hers. It made her unbelievably happy. Mother and daughter left the room, and House was alone with Ben. Given the look on the child's face, he wasn't sure he was entirely comfortable with the situation.
"So, now that you and Mom are going to have a baby… are you two going to get married?" House was afraid that subject was on the kid's mind. There was no point in avoiding it; he just hoped Ben would accept his explanation.
"No, not right now. I don't know if we ever will… " House started to say.
"But I don't understand why not," interrupted Ben. "I know she loves you… and you love her. You make her laugh, and smile, and you two talk about all kinds of stuff and do things together. And you're the first person who ever told her she wasn't crazy for wanting to go to medical school; everybody else just laughed at her." It bothered the hell out of House to hear that even Lydia's son knew how little support she had in reference to her dream of med school.
"Kid, I have a lot of respect for your mother… "
"That's the word I was trying to think of… respect. You two respect each other. I read something that said respect was important to making a relationship work." House gave the boy a look.
"Where the hell did you read that?"
"When we were at Reverend Bell's house, right before Aunt Annie and Uncle James got married. He said he was trying to figure out the right things to say at their wedding." House had to remind himself that Ben wasn't just smart in terms of science and medicine; his reading ability was several grade levels above others in his class.
"Look," House said clasping his hands and leaning forward. "I love your mom, I respect her, I have a lot of fun with her. She's made me want to be a better person… at least toward her and you kids. Somewhere along the line she got the belief in her head that I would make a good husband and father. I don't know how or why," he said looking down at the floor. "But right now the problem is, I don't buy into that. Granted, she's trusted me with you and your sister… and coming up soon, she'll be forced to trust me with the new one." He looked at Ben who had settled next to him on the couch. "I always thought I was the worst possible choice a woman with a kid could make for a partner. I actually said that in one of those hallucinations I had when I was in the medical coma. I'm glad to see I was partially wrong. The problem still remains that I don't think I'd be a smart choice for a husband."
"She doesn't think you're a bad choice… she thinks you're a good choice," Ben said in a small voice. "And the two of you love each other… a lot. Doesn't that make it OK?" House sighed. Damn, this kid is good, he thought. He'd be able to dismiss the boy's words as manipulation, if he didn't already know the boy was sincere in his intentions.
"It'd be a lot more OK if I was on board with that thought, too." House shook his head. "I'm not making any promises… and don't keep bugging me about the subject… but I'll think about what you said." Ben broke out in a huge grin.
"Thanks, House," he said. They could hear Lydia and Elise coming back down the hall. The two soon came into the room carrying two photo albums; one was dark and light shades of blue, the other was purple and pink. While the four of them had all seen the pictures before, they were happy taking a quick look at the albums. Lydia and the children enjoyed taking a look at their past; House inwardly cringed at the foreshadowing of the future. Stuffed animals, cutesy outfits… diapers. Quite a change in scenery awaited him.
"Well, this was nice," Lydia said standing up. "But we have to go back over to the hospital."
"Why? Are you having a test or something?" Ben asked.
"Not at this late point in the day. We are going to go visit Reverend Bell and tell him the good news," his mother said.
"You told us first?" Elise asked.
"Yep. I wanted to just put it on Facebook and get it over with, but your mother insisted on making personal announcements in a few cases," House said.
"So, why is Reverend Bell next?" Ben asked with a slightly suspicious tone.
"Because he's House's father; he's going to be a grandpa," Lydia explained. Elise's eye opened wide.
"Does that mean we'll get to call him Grandpa?"
"Yeah, do we?" Ben chimed in. House rolled his eyes at the question, mainly because he knew what was coming next. Thinking fast, he realized he might as well just let it happen.
"Yeah, he becomes Grandpa… " House said in a dull voice.
"And you'll be Dad!" exclaimed Ben. House closed his eyes.
"Your mother has already informed me that if the new little rugrat gets to call me Dad, which seems to be an accepted name for the male parent, then you two would have a problem with continuing to call me House. That and it would confuse the new kid. So… just give me some space. By the time the newest resident of the house arrives, I think I'll be able to deal with that other name."
"Dad!" both children yelled in unison.
"Hey!" House barked. "I said give me space." The kids giggled as they backed up out of House's way as he stood, and walked away from the couch. "Just hitting the bathroom and then we can head out," he said quietly to Lydia.
"I think that's a good idea for all of us," Lydia said, putting her hand on her stomach. House looked over at the kids still jumping around, obviously happy.
"Glad they're OK with the news," he said glancing down at her stomach. "Especially since DNA doesn't allow for backsies." Lydia laughed and shook her head as her boyfriend walked away…..
In a short while, they arrived at the hospital and were walking down the hallway from the side entrance. It was almost time for staff to starting heading out for home, and they didn't want to take the chance of running into anyone they knew. When they got to the elevators, Ben got to push the call button, and Elise the number five when they got inside the car. Thomas had been moved out of ICU and into a private room on the medical floor. House and Lydia hoped that closing the door would provide enough privacy so they could talk.
"Well, look who's here!" Bell said when the group walked into his room. Thomas was sitting upright on the edge of his bed. He still had the hospital gown on, but was now also wearing pajama pants and slippers that Lydia brought him yesterday. The children ran over to hug him, with Lydia right behind them. House hung back and closed the door to the room. "To what do I owe the pleasure of this visit?"
"Huh?" asked Elise as she climbed next to him on the bed.
"Why are you here?" Thomas said leaning down a kissing her forehead.
"Well… we wanted to tell you some good news, Grandpa," Ben said joining his sister.
"Yes! Very good news, Grandpa!" Elise added in. Bell looked confused.
"I… I think that's wonderful that you want to call me Grandpa; I'm very pleased. But did you ask your mom and House if it was alright?" Thomas looked up at his son and Lydia. "I didn't want you to think I was presuming anything by allowing the children to call me that." Lydia shook her head.
"It's a matter of fairness," she said taking out her cell phone, bringing up the sonogram picture and handing it to Ben. "Since that little one gets to call you Grandpa, these two should, also." Ben held the screen up so Thomas could see it. The older man's mouth fell open as he grabbed for his reading glasses.
"Oh my… oh my Lord!" Bell sat speechless, unable to do anything but accept hugs from Ben and Elise; he was in complete shock. He finally rose and staggered forward a bit before House and Lydia grabbed him to prevent his falling. He embraced both of them, holding on tightly as tears started to flow from his eyes. "This… this is such wonderful news! Congratulations!"
"Thank you, Thomas," Lydia said as he shifted his stance so that he was hugging just her. "We found out yesterday and were just waiting for some test results before we started to tell people. Other than the children, you're the first person we've given the news to." Bell nodded, then looked over at House. The two men locked eyes, and each knew what the other was thinking.
"Congratulations, son," Thomas said as he moved over to give him a hug. Then Bell suddenly stopped, reminding himself that House was not a fan of physical contact. So he was quite surprised when his son took the lead, and reached out for a brief hug. Thomas smiled.
"Don't get used to that," House warned him when he saw the expression on his father's face. "I have to save one or two of the remaining hugs I have left for the bambino."
"We have lots of hugs to give the baby, too." Elise declared.
"Yes, I'm sure you do. And congratulations big brother and big sister to-be." Bell sat back down on the bed and gave both children a hug. "So I guess you're going to have to start spreading the word now. Do Annie and James know?"
"No, after we leave here, we're going to go to McDonald's and have some dinner, then go see them. We were thinking that Thursday night we would all go out to dinner to celebrate," said Lydia.
"Timing works out since I'm springing you from this place tomorrow," House said. "The night shift has an order written to remove your IV tonight. As long as your number are good, you can escape the asylum tomorrow."
"Oh, and we're not telling any of our friends or co-workers just yet," Lydia said. "Our friends are coming over next Saturday for coffee and cake to celebrate your birthday, and we plan on telling them then." Thomas waved his hand.
"Never mind my birthday. This… " he said pointing to the picture on the phone that Ben was still holding. "This is a reason to celebrate."
"Knowing her, she'll find a way to work both things in without thinking twice about it," House said indicating Lydia with a jerk of his head. Suddenly there was a knock on Bell's door.
"Reverend Bell? I have your dinner tray," a voice said.
"Come in," Thomas called out. The aide came in and placed his food on his bed side table.
"Enjoy," the woman said as she left. House lifted the lid on the main plate.
"That will be impossible with this gruel," he noted as he covered the food.
"All the more reason to look forward to tomorrow," Bell said with a smile.
"Come on, kids; zip up your coats and say good-bye to Reverend B… "
"You mean Grandpa," Ben said correcting his mother.
"Yes, Grandpa," she said smiling. The children hopped off the bed to better be able to close up their coats. Elise, however, was having trouble.
"My zipper's stuck." House knelt down by the child and after working on it for a few moments, he got her coat to close. "Thank you, House."
"You owe me a quarter," he said holding out his hand.
"I don't have a quarter… can I pay you back in hugs?"
"That's a good deal if I ever heard it," Bell said laughing. House pursed his lips and scowled.
"We'll negotiate later," her said to the girl. The children gave Bell good-bye hugs, then Thomas rose to embrace Lydia.
"May the Lord bless you and take care of you dear," he said giving her a hug.
"No matter what, I know I have a guardian angel watching over me through everything," Lydia said as she embraced him. "Several of them, in fact." She turned to the children. "Let's head out, kids. House will meet us by the elevators in a minute." Lydia wanted to give her boyfriend and his dad a few minutes alone. Once Lydia and the kids were gone, House walked back over to his father.
"I have to admit, I am shocked," Bell said as his son approached him. "Greg, I thought Lydia couldn't have children, that this was impossible."
"Obviously her ovaries couldn't resist the call of my Mega Sperm; which I inherited from someone in the family, and I'm willing to lay odds I know who." Thomas started to laugh.
"I'm willing to take the blame for that since the result is this happy news." House looked away from his father and toward the window. "You are… happy about this, aren't you?" House nodded.
"Of course I am; Fraulein's so giddy, it's annoying. And that's despite feeling like crap for a while now. My gut instinct tells me this is going to be a rough ride for her and in turn, me. But, yeah… this is great news. I'm just not very comfortable attempting something I've never had any experience with."
"I've seen you with Ben and Elise; you are going to be just fine," Thomas said putting his hand on House's shoulder. "Let's face it… and I'm sorry to say this… but you know exactly what NOT to do." House looked back at Bell.
"That I do," House said with a sigh. The two men said their good-byes, then House left to join Lydia and the kids. Thomas sat down on his bed, still amazed by the news. He lifted his eyes upward to the ceiling and silently prayed.
"Lord, please give them the strength to deal with whatever comes their way."