To Have and Have Not

by purpleu

Possessing all that you've ever wanted is wonderful; losing it can be heartbreaking. House has always questioned if happiness is worth the flip side of the coin... the deep lows that come with great highs. As he can do no more than sit by and watch his job, his love, and his future be placed in danger, House must decide if all of this is something he wants to have or have not.

8. Chapter 8

"To Have and Have Not"

Chapter Eight – "Having Little to Give"

By: purpleu

"Greg… you're not going to lose her. You and the kids are everything to her… more than her job, more than going to medical school… more than a lot of things. She'd give it all up in a heartbeat if it was the only way that she could have you three in her life," Annie said as she stood in the doorway of Lydia's room. "Luckily for her, she knows you'd never make her choose. And that, I'm sure, is giving her the strength to fight through this." House was both startled and a bit uncomfortable by Annie's presence; while she was one of the few people he felt he could let his guard down with, his words said a minute ago now sounded pathetic to him. Especially since he, as a doctor, knew all too well where things stood.

"Yeah… as badly as she was injured, every hour that goes by means less of a chance of her kicking the bucket; wish I could say the same for the rug rat-to-be," he replied.

"What's wrong with the baby? The heartbeat was good in the ER; what's changed?" Annie asked becoming concerned.

"Nothing's changed; Fraulein's only at the ten week mark… Oswald may have a heartbeat, but not the other things needed to survive untethered to mommy."

"Oswald? Don't know that I care for the name, but I see someone's hoping for a boy." House smirked.

"All these couples who say they don't care if it's a boy or a girl, as long as it's healthy… are lying. To the rest of the world, to each other, and maybe to themselves individually; everyone has a preference." Annie looked sheepish.

"You've got me there," she said. "Especially given the fact that every day I continue to carry this baby is a miracle and I shouldn't care… but deep down, I would like a girl. And James would, too; I think it has to do with growing up with two brothers and a bunch of male cousins." Annie looked over at the sleeping children. "Although he gets along so well with both Ben and Elise, so I think he's going to make a good dad no matter what." She looked at House. "So will you."

"That remains to be seen. Right now my biggest concern is her vision," House said looking over at his girlfriend. "One of the areas of the brain that got bruised controls sight. The bruising wasn't severe, so it shouldn't be permanent." He glanced at Annie. "When I said I don't want to lose her, I wasn't talking about her kicking off, so much as I was worried how the disability would change things between us if it was permanent." Annie looked around, then realized there was a chair behind her. She lowered herself down to sit as House continued. "I know first-hand how the resentment toward your partner… that they can do things that you used to be able to, messes things up. It was one of the things that screwed up my relationship with Stacy… among many others." House let out a sigh. "I'm sure you've heard me say, or your husband's told you; I believe people don't change. They just become more of who they really are. Unless you're… an incredibly strong person, having something like this happen to you makes you less than the person you really are. I know that for a fact." Annie understood all too well how House was feeling; she had the same concerns when Wilson had been shot.

"You said something really important a minute ago; that you have to be an incredibly strong person. Look at who we're talking about and what she's been through in life," she said gesturing toward her friend. "And knowing her as long as I have, I can tell you… she is the same sweet, loving person I first met years ago." Annie shook her head. "She loves the life she has with you and the kids… there's nothing and no one who is going to take that from her." House nodded.

"She's the strongest person I've ever met," he admitted.

"Of course she is… how else do you think she manages to handle you?" Annie said, fighting to hide a smile. House said nothing, but Annie could see he was trying not to give in to his own urge to smile at her comment. "Greg, you haven't had anything to drink or eat all night. The usual crew is gathered in the lounge, and there's food and drinks there, too. Why don't you give yourself and break and come say hello to everyone? You know she's not going to be waking up looking for you."

"I don't want to leave the kids," House quickly countered. "Ben woke up before; if either one of them does it again, they might become scared if they don't see me in here with them."

"I have an idea… I'll leave Ben my cell phone and note, telling him to call your phone if they need anything. I can put both things in his hand so he won't even have to get up." She could see House was about to argue with her. "Greg, you're going to get tired of hearing this, but it's true; if you don't take care of yourself, you won't be able to take care of them." Too tired to debate the issue, House decided to give in to Annie's suggestion.

"Give me a minute to stand up," he said, groaning as he moved forward in his chair.

"Take your time, I'm going to go get my phone," Annie replied. She hurried out of the room and into the lounge.

"How are things going in there?" Wilson asked as she came over, removed her phone from her purse, then hunted for something to write on and with.

"Quiet. Ben woke up once, but he's sleeping again," Annie said, finding a long receipt she could write on the back of and a pen. "I've convinced Greg to come in and get something to eat." Wilson shook his head.

"Only you would be able to get him to do anything at this point."

"Be right back," she replied after penning the note. Annie got back to Lydia's room to see House standing over by the children.

"There's a pocket on the exam gown he's wearing," House said, looking over his shoulder as Annie approached. "Put them in there." Annie did as requested without waking the boy.

"Now, come on… you need a break." House walked slowly, pausing by the end of the bed to look at the monitors and his girlfriend.

"Hope she doesn't have to stay under too long. I wouldn't want her to have to deal with the kind of hallucinations that I saw when I was visiting La-La Land," he said continuing to make his way to the door.

"Do people always hallucinate when they're in a medical coma?" Annie asked. "I remember my brother sustaining an injury when he played football and he was in a medical coma for almost a week. I don't recall him ever mentioning them."

"Explains a lot; given the way he treated Fraulein, that guy had to be mule kicked in the head a few too many times," House said. "And in answer to your question… it depends on how long you're in the coma. Also, only brilliant people have hallucinations. Therefore I'm fully expecting Fraulein to have tales to tell that come straight from the Twilight Zone if we have to keep her under for an extended time." Annie laughed as they reached the door of the lounge; House took a deep breath before he entered the room. The same people who had sat and kept watch for Wilson when he was shot were there, with the notable addition of Kyle James, an assistant DA who had become friendly with House and Lydia after his wife, Bonnie was treated by House.

"Hey, you're walking better than I expected," said Tom, House's physical therapist who was also friends with House and Lydia. "From what I heard, I thought you'd be a lot worse than this." Tom rose from his seat; he went over to House and briefly put his hand on House's shoulder.

"I'd be doing a lot better if I had a cane rather than the granny crutch," House replied indicating the walker. Tom shook his head.

"Don't rush it; I have every intention of getting you back up to speed as quickly as possible." Tom' wife, Marianne was standing behind her husband.

"Oh, Greg… I just couldn't believe it when James called Tom and told him what happened," she said moving forward to give House a gentle hug before he sat down gingerly in the chair nearest to him. "There was a news update break as I was watching TV, so knew there was an accident… but when they said it involved a local doctor and pregnant woman, I never imagined it was all of you."

"I heard the report, too," said Misty, Slick's nephew's girlfriend. "To be honest with you, I got a chill up my spine. I mean there's no way I could have known it was you guys, but… I think I felt really bad when I heard it involved kids and a pregnant lady."

"House, can I get you something? Coffee? A bagel?" Kyle offered.

"Coffee, black. And an everything bagel with a schmeer," replied House as he eyed up the snacks that were on the table to his left. "And a couple of the Munchkins."

"What flavor coffee do you want? There's hazelnut, French vanilla… "

"Coffee flavored coffee." Kyle laughed as he went about preparing the food.

"So how long had you guys known that Lydia was pregnant?" Scotty, Slick's nephew asked.

"Since Tuesday. Fraulein had been off her feed for a while; then last week her punctuation mark was late. She told me her suspicions Monday night, and we were at the doctor's office by Tuesday."

"Punctuation mark?" Misty questioned. "Oh… you mean her period."

"Sounds like you're building the new house just in time," noted Scotty. "By the way, we heard from the Building Department… they've OK'd the plans. Because you got a double lot, there's enough open space not built on to meet their requirements for the neighborhood zone."

"I was lucky both the old house and the plot of land next door were all part of the same estate sale," House said as he took his coffee and food from Kyle.

"We're going to meet with the builders on Monday, but it looks like if the weather cooperates, they can start to excavate by the end of March," Scotty said looking at House. "At least it's a bit of good news."

"You'd never know this kid is only twenty and just finishing his degree," Slick said with pride. "If only his parents hadn't been such jerks and recognized he had a medical issue, who knows what he'd be designing right now."

"So are the numbers on the blue prints actually blue or has your mind converted them to various colors of the rainbow?" House asked in reference to Scotty's Synesthesia. The young man laughed.

"Blueprints really are blue, but for me, they're a psychedelic experience. Hey… I just realized, you're going to need me to revise them with the new baby on the way. Unless you're going to double up the kids in one of the bedrooms." House shook his head as he popped a Munchkin in his mouth.

"There's no point in changing anything right now; the odds are against the kid surviving." There was an uncomfortable silence in the room.

"Why do you say that?" Marianne asked. Taking a sip of coffee before he spoke, House took a deep breath.

"Because we can't see if there's been placenta abruption. When the placenta separates from the uterine wall, even partially, the fetus doesn't receive proper oxygen or nutrition through the umbilical cord. A pregnancy can continue on with a partial separation, and everything could turn out alright; but there's always a strong chance that the child will be born with severe birth defects if the pregnancy goes to term."

"There's no way to see if the placenta's intact or not? And if it's partially separated, can't it be re-attached?" Annie asked.

"The fetus is too small; you can't get a clear picture until the pregnancy is about twenty weeks along. Dr. Collins is going to try to do an internal sonogram tomorrow morning; but there's no way to fix anything. It's a waiting game," House said as he stared at the floor.

"But there's still a chance the baby could be OK?" Kyle asked. House smirked.

"A very slight one." House paused, knowing the kind of reaction his next statement would garner. "It would be better right now if there was a miscarriage. If she holds on to twenty weeks, and it turns out there's damage to the fetus, she'll never agree to terminate the pregnancy at that point."

"Greg! How can you say such a thing?" Annie exclaimed. "You sat in our living room, telling us how happy you were, that you always wanted a family!"

"House, you're upset," Kyle said. "You don't mean… "

"Yes, I do mean what I said. I have no choice but to deal with the reality of the situation, with the facts as they stand. Because there are three people in the room next door who aren't going to deal with the facts… if things go south, they're going to be emotional wrecks," House said, his voice filled with anger. "I have to hold it together for their sake, and the best way I can do that is stick to the cold, hard facts; screw whatever emotions I may be feeling." He turned to Annie. "You said earlier that Fraulein was lucky, because unlike her father and mother, I would never make her choose between med school and me. Well, guess what? I don't want to make her give up her lifelong dream just to keep a hapless child tether to this life for a few painful years just because it's MY kid. Unfortunately, if there's placenta abruption, that's a very real possibility. And no, losing the kid is not what I want; I'll never forget walking over to the bathroom door and seeing the positive result on the test strip Fraulein was holding. I've waited a long time for this."

"House, no one is telling you how to deal with this," Thirteen said. "You know Lydia and the kids better than we do. It's just that we're all in shock. First, the accident, then finding out she's pregnant, and now the possibility that she could lose the baby? It's happening in such a short time span that it makes it overwhelming." House picked his head up and looked at Thirteen.

"How the hell do you think I feel?" He took a swig of coffee and bit into his bagel.

"House, Thirteen's right… it's your call on how you want to deal with things, for yourself, Lydia, and the kids. Bottom line is this… what can we do to help? You've got a bunch of people willing to do anything you need," Tom said.

"Thanks," House said quietly. He looked at his team. "I need you to keep the department going at full strength; look for cases, do clinic duty. With Durbin sniffing his nose around here looking for excuses to put things on the chopping block, I don't want to give him any fodder to work with."

"Good idea," Foreman said. "That guy is making me more and more uncomfortable with each passing day."

"It will also give you something to focus on while you sit and wait in Lydia's room," Taub noted. "If we do take on a case, we'll just come here rather than your office to run things past you; business as usual." House nodded, and turned to Annie.

"Tomorrow morning when Frick and Frack are eating breakfast, I'm going to break the news that Fraulein's in the coma and she won't be waking up for a few days. I'll have them throw on the clothes they were wearing tonight so you can take them home to get cleaned up and into fresh clothes. After that, you can bring them back here with a change of clothes for me." Annie nodded in agreement.

"Do you want them to stay with us tomorrow night… or maybe Tom and Marianne?" Wilson asked.

"No. I think I'll convince them to go home and I'll go with them. Fraulein is stable, and whatever's going to happen will happen whether I'm here or not." House looked over at Thomas. "He'll be with me at the house, so if I have to rush back over I can leave the kids with him. It'll give them a sense of comfort if they see I'm willing to leave the hospital overnight."

"Are you sure you haven't done this parenting thing before?" Marianne asked. "Because you certainly know the right way to handle the situation." House shook his head.

"Just going with my gut… treating them the way I'd want to be treated in the same situation."

"Do you want one of us to take the kids out somewhere tomorrow? I know they want to be with their mom, but they don't need to hang around here all day," Misty offered.

"Yeah, that'd be good. Just nothing too strenuous; Curly Top may have sprained her ankle. See whatever mind-numbing movie Disney is pushing down our throats, and take them to that," House replied.

"How long do you anticipate keeping her in the coma?" Slick asked Chase.

"Depends on her numbers. Obviously they're much better than when you brought her in, and she's holding steady for now. I'd say anywhere from three to seven days." House inwardly cringed. He was used to not talking to Lydia during the course of the day at work, sometimes all day when one or the other was busy. But the idea of not communicating for days? Reminding himself that he knew the time frame they were dealing with before he agreed to the coma, he shook his misgivings off and turned to Tom.

"I'd want you to do an assessment and work up a PT program for her as soon as possible."

"That would be easier if I had an actual picture I could look at. I understand you had to deal with the internal bleeding and her head injury first and foremost, but now that she's stable, an ultrasound would be the safest way for me to get a look. Generally speaking, a person with a pelvic fracture is bedbound for anywhere from a few days to up to a week. After that, we get them standing and have them transfer to a seat. At that time, they can start to walk around the home, but with a limited range."

"How mobile will she be in six weeks?" Tom was taken back by House's question.

"She should be fairly mobile. Not perfect, of course; she'll probably still have some pain, maybe need a cane or something. Why do you ask? What's happening in six weeks?"

"Our trip to Germany," House replied. His statement released a chorus of negative comments.

"Are you out of your mind?"

"House, you can get you money back."

"Just postpone it."

"I don't see how… " House placed his fingers in the corners of his mouth and let go a shrill whistle. The room fell silent.

"You want to shut up and hear my reasons for wanting to continue with the trip? Or have you all just decided I'm a cheap, cold-hearted bastard?" House looked around and saw that he had everyone's attention. "Right after I told Fraulein we were going, she got an e-mail from one of the bigwigs at the factory her grandparents owned. February sixteenth marks the one hundredth anniversary of the place opening and they are planning a big jamboree. Fraulein practically peed herself with delight over the idea that she was going to be there for the celebration. Then I got the idea to contact the guy at the factory and see if they could surprise her with a birthday party of some kind." House took a sip of coffee. "Turns out this thing is bigger than he had let on in his original message to Fraulein. Local TV is going to be covering the event, the town is renaming the street that runs in front of the original bake shop in honor of her grandparents, proclamations are going to be issued… a whole bunch of hoopla. But there are two biggie surprises; the original factory that her grandfather built with his own hands has been used for storage for years since the modern building was in use next door. They've completely restored the building and turned it into a museum/café and are naming it for her grandparents."

"Oh my God, Lydia would be so thrilled to be there for all of this," Annie noted. "She's so proud of what her grandparents started, and her grandmother carried on with it when her grandfather died."

"Wasn't Lydia's mother very young when Otto died?" Marianne asked.

"Yes, she was just two. Can you imagine, being a widow with a young child and having the wherewithal to keep a business like that going?" Annie asked. "I think we know where Lydia gets her fortitude from."

"Fortitude or not, I'm already counting on her being a blubbering blob many times over during the trip given our itinerary," House said. "I've already upped my stock holdings in the company that makes Kleenex." He paused to take another bite of food. "The biggest deal in all of this merriment is the fact that someone is making a documentary about famous confectioners from around the world… Nabisco, Hershey's, Cadbury… the filmmaker has also chose to include Frau Krumholtz's Baked Goods; and they want to interview Fraulein. My understanding is that the documentary will be shown on either PBS or the Food Network." There was a gasp and murmurs of 'Oh wow!' as House turned to his left and locked eyes with Tom. "I have to get her to Germany and I'm going to need your help." Tom, who had been leaning over toward House now straightened up in his chair and slowly nodded his head.

"I can't give an accurate assessment without films, but if I work on getting you back up to speed, I could see you pushing her in a wheelchair; especially one of those new ultralight models they have. The burden of success falls on Lydia herself, though; she may feel overwhelmed by the idea of going there for this celebration and wind up not pushing herself enough," noted Tom. "But I also know Lydia's not going to be very happy in a wheelchair."

"Yeah, I think she's always had visions of pushing me around in one," said House.

"So… Lydia knows that there a bunch of festivities happening, but knows nothing of all the honors being given her grandparents," Slick said. "Wow, is she going to be floored."

"She knows nothing and I want to keep it that way," House said glaring at Wilson. "First one to blab will find his ABBA and Air Supply cds used as pucks with the air hockey game in my basement." Wilson rolled his eyes.

"Why do you always assume I'm the one who's going to let the cat out of the bag?" he asked. He spread his hands apart. "I'm not going… "

"When Fraulein and I first started dating," House said to his team as he cut Wilson off. "How did you find out I had a girlfriend?"

"Wilson," they replied in unison. Annie laughed as her husband looked sheepish at being called out.

"Don't worry, Greg; he won't say anything… will you dear?" Wilson merely shook his head.

"Since we're all sworn to secrecy," Chase said. "Where else did you two plan to visit?"

"We're going to Frankfurt for a day trip… it's not far from Wiesbaden. They have an annual Christmas festival there; obviously we'll be a little late for it, but there's a Christmas shop in Altstadt. It's the place where Fraulein's grandmother bought this series of nutcrackers that Fraulein displays at the holidays. Somewhere along the line, one of the figurines broke and she can't find anyone to fix it around here, so we're going to see if the shop can repair it. If not, I'll get her a replacement." House emptied his coffee cup with one large gulp. "There's also a zoo with gardens that Fraulein visited when she was a kid, and we could always take a river cruise on the Main."

"More coffee, Greg?" Marianne asked.

"Yeah," he said handing his cup over. "Then there's the night we're spending in a castle."

"A castle… seriously?" Misty exclaimed.

"Yep. Burghotel Auf Schönburg on the Rhine. We'll have our choice of five restaurants including dining on the terrace over the Rhine. There's fireplaces in every room, and tours of the castle are available as well," House said as he took his coffee from Marianne. "They're also well-known for their gardens."

"That sounds so incredibly romantic," Kyle said. "It's a good thing my wife isn't here or she'd be asking me why haven't I ever taken her on a trip like that."

"Yeah, you're making us regular guys look like a bunch of schmucks," Taub noted.

"There's still one last thing; I've been in contact with the people who currently own the house Fraulein grew up in until her parents yanked her away to traverse the world. The couple bought the house as newlyweds; they're now senior citizens. They're thrilled to have heard from someone who knows Fraulein; a few years ago they found something that the Strohmans left behind and they've been trying to find her to return it. Of course at the point they were looking she was still married to jerkface, so her last name was Harris at that time."

"Oh… tell me they found Katrina," Annie said putting her hand up to her mouth.

"If Katrina is a doll that appears to be handmade, then yeah," House replied. "It got stuck between a shelf and a wall in the closet of Fraulein's bedroom. They found it when they were installing one of those modular closet set-ups. We have an appointment to have lunch at their house on the nineteenth at one. I figured that was a good way to end the trip." Annie went over to House, kissed his cheek and gave him a hug.

"You are going to make her so happy," she said tearing up. "Just going to Germany would have been enough… but all of these other things are just… oh, you are the best!" House appreciated Annie's praise, but still looked uncomfortable as she hugged him again.

"House… sorry we jumped to conclusions before," Thirteen said. "We should have known when it comes to Lydia, you're anything but your usual self." House smirked at the comment.

"If that's a feeble attempt at getting me to play nice when you're doing a differential diagnosis, it's not going to work." He turned to Tom. "You can see now why I need to get Fraulein as mobile as possible."

"Yes, I certainly do," Tom said, his brow knitted deep in thought. "I have to get the two of you in the best shape I possibly can. There are a few things you should check on as soon as you can; first being where can you rent a wheelchair from. I would say contact the local hospital and see what they suggest. There might be a medical equipment rental agency either in the town you're staying in or somewhere in the area. I'd also check on the stairs in the castle. I'm sure there are modern amenities, but I don't know that an elevator would be one of them."

"How soon could Lydia handle stairs?" Slick asked.

"Safely? Two to three weeks. But the idea is if she's having a bad day, or there's a steep staircase to deal with, she might have a bit of a problem. Leaning on you would be the best solution in that case, House, which is why I have to whip you back into shape."

"You know, I do hate to bring this up, but I'm trying to think of all the ways you can help Lydia enjoy the trip," Thomas said. The older gentleman took a deep breath. "Officially, you are a surviving child of a veteran. You could contact the medical unit at Wiesbaden Air Force Base and see if they could assist you." House began to shake his head, but Bell cut him off before he could speak. "Greg… I know you have no desire to associate yourself with him in any way, but for once maybe that son-of-a-bitch John House could do something good for you in your life."

"I would rather construct a tandem wheelchair with my bare hands or carry Fraulein on my back than use that bastard's name for anything," House said firmly. "I did fine without his help for years, I don't need it now."

"I understand," Thomas said quietly.

"You know with all the extra security at the airports nowadays, you two should both carry doctor's notes for your cane… hers too if she needs one… and all of your meds. You never know what's going to catch their attention and be interpreted the wrong way," Kyle noted. "Being in law enforcement, I see the notices coming through all the time, especially about international travel."

"What kind of pain meds will Lydia be on?" Tom asked.

"Whatever they are she might not need them anymore at that point," House noted. "On average painkillers are needed for four to six weeks after a fracture." Foreman cleared his throat.

"Which brings up an uncomfortable subject," he said looking at the rest of the team. "Obviously Lydia's going to be sent home on painkillers… " Foreman didn't have to say any more for House to pick up on what he was implying.

"And you're afraid I'm going to raid her supply," House said with a mixture of anger and sarcasm in his voice. "Once an addict, always an addict."

"House, face it…the opiate receptors in your brain are going to be on fire given the emotional stress this event has put you under," Chase said. "You yourself admit that when you were using it was a psychological need as much as it was a physical one. Having easy access to the pills might pose a danger for you."

"I work in a damn hospital!" House said raising his voice. "I still remember exactly how I got my hands on all the pills I needed and I could do it again whenever I want. I make a conscious choice not to… not just because Tom's improved how I feel, but because I don't want to screw up things with Fraulein." Everything was beginning to get to House; his emotions and anger crashing together to the point he let his guard down more than he ever had with his group of friends. "I know the kind of pain Lydia's going to go through, and I love her too damn much to let her suffer like that. And you're pissing me off by suggesting that I would put myself before her. I've been a rat-bastard in the past and will be again in the future… but never to her." House dropped his head down, silently berating himself for exposing his emotions like he just did. But these are good people, these are my friends; something I never really had, other than Wilson, until Fraulein came along and showed me it was OK to trust again…..

"Greg, no one doubts how much you love Lydia," Annie said gently. "I've known her for almost thirty years, and I have never seen her as happy as she is now… and I know you're happy, too… for the first time in a long, long time. We care about the both of you so much, and just want to make sure nothing more happens that could hurt either one of you or your relationship together. This nightmarish accident has been enough for you to deal with." Annie smiled. "We all happen to like Hydia and want to keep it going, you know." House cringed and shot her a look.

"I so want to give a nuclear enema to the moron who came up with these name combos," House observed. "Hydia makes us sound like we're the step-child of the guardian of the underworld."

"It's better than Louse," Annie pointed out.

"Not by much," he replied.

"House, if you really feel you can handle the situation, we'll take you at your word," said Foreman. "But you have to tell one of us… anyone of your choice… if there's a problem. Deal?" House raised his eyes up to meet Foreman's.

"What are you going to do if I say no… deny Fraulein the meds she needs?" Foreman opened his mouth to say something, then thought better of it and just shook his head. "We'll be fine; the best motivation in the world not to screw this up, for both Fraulein and me, are sleeping in chairs in the next room."

"Hey, you know that gives me an idea," Tom said. "Something that may push Lydia along in her therapy." He turned to House. "You said she only knows a portion of the celebration that's happening to honor her grandparents, correct?" House nodded. "Tell her everything. Not the visit to the castle or her childhood home, but the big honors her grandparents are receiving. I know her; she will do anything to get herself there to see all of this in person. We'll use it as a carrot."

"Tom, you wouldn't want her to push herself too hard to the point that she could do damage rather than recovering properly," Taub said.

"True. Maybe you could keep the idea in your back pocket and pull it out if she resists the idea of going on the trip at all," Tom said to House.

"What happens if she physically can't handle making the trip?" Wilson asked. "She's going to feel terrible about missing everything."

"I've got to tell her eventually what took place," said House. "I'm not going to hide it from her."

"I think it will work if we need it. Just make sure we all know whether you spilled the beans or not so none of us slip and say anything." A loud buzzing sound could be heard, and several people in the room looked at their phones.

"I'm the guilty party," Kyle said. "I got a text." He frowned as he read the message, and began to shake his head. "Looks like the accident is turning into a criminal investigation; and since it involves drugs, my unit will be involved."

"Drugs? You mean the driver of the car?" Chase asked. Thirteen and Slick exchanged looks.

"Yep. It seems he came from a pharmacy and had a bag of painkillers with him. Two were already missing from the bottle which was picked up approximately forty-five minutes before the accident. Not only that, the label on the bottle said one thing, and the contents of the vial were something else."

"I didn't want to say anything," Slick said. "But you know how the cops and EMTs always exchange info when something like this happens. Well, when the cops went to the guy's house to inform his wife, she was shocked, of course. They asked her about medications that he was taking, and she said he was on painkillers for his Rheumatoid Arthritis. He was allowed four pills a day, but would often take two together, which the doc said was OK as long as he didn't exceed four pills in a twenty-four hour time frame. He had taken two pills just before leaving the house to go pick up his script. They asked her who his doctor and pharmacist was and she directed them to South Princeton Clinical Care, one of Charles Durbin's hokey medical spots."

"You said there were two pills missing from the bottle?" Tom asked. "So he had way more than his usual dose in him if he took two at home and two on the road."

"Worse than that, the wife told the investigating officer that his usual dose was one or two five-milligram tablets… the pills in the bottle were thirty-milligram strength," Kyle said. "The pharmacy didn't dispense them properly."

"What kind of painkiller?" asked Taub.

"Oxycodone. With the amount he had in him, I don't see how he drove as far as he did," Slick said.

"This isn't the first time that clinic has screwed up. My wife wasn't feeling well the other night, and of course she waits until about nine o'clock to decide she needs to see a doctor. You know how stubborn Bonnie can be," Kyle said to House.

"All too well," House said recalling when Bonnie James was his patient.

"She didn't want to wait around the ER, so she said we should go to the clinic since it was open all night. She told them she thought she had a urinary tract infection; they took a urine sample, came back and asked her if she was allergic to any medication. She said yes, Penicillin. They had us go to the pharmacy, and get a script for Levaquin filled; made sense since nothing else was open at that hour. Bonnie took one as soon as we got home; and not too long after that, she's calling for me to help her; her throat was closing up. Thank God she has an Epi-Pen, which I administered to her and got her over to the ER here at PPTH. They looked at the pills… they were supposed to be Levaquin, but they gave her Amoxicillin. The idiots could have killed her!"

"Well, look at what happened to me earlier in the week," Thomas said. "I was supposed to be given a renewal of my blood pressure medicine, and they gave me pills to treat diabetes instead," Thomas complained. "If it wasn't for my son and his team of doctors, I'd be dead!"

"He came in with what appeared to be stroke symptoms," House began. "But as Fraulein and I heard the reports of his behavior… specifically that he was trying to down two donuts and juice… we became aware that he was trying to treat hypoglycemia. We ran the list of standard test for problems with the pancreas, and then discovered that he was given the incorrect pills." House scowled. "Which should have been the first thing we checked."

"And while Thomas' incident happened at a different facility, it's still owned by Durbin," Thirteen said shaking her head.

"This guy Durbin… he's the board member who's making a lot of noise about shrinking down the size of the hospital in favor of these mini medical centers, isn't he?"

"Yep. And supposedly he has political ambitions and is using this cleanup campaign to prove he's a can-do, go-to kind of guy," Wilson said.

"He's looking to make cut backs around here so people can be re-directed to his facilities," Thirteen began. "The things he's going after are not absolute necessities, but they are vital to both the reputation of the hospital and the well-being of the patients; and that includes Diagnostics." Kyle's eyes widened.

"Durbin's going after Diagnostics?" he asked looking between Thirteen and House.

"We exchanged a few unpleasantries in the lobby the other day," House acknowledged. "He expressed the opinion the department was a waste of money and unneeded around here. Of course he also said the same thing about the playroom for oncology kids and the housing facilities for families who have children admitted here."

"His latest target is the clinic," added Foreman. "I explained to him that the clinic is one of the things that lets us keep our rating as a level-one medical center, but he said the extra expense of maintaining the department doesn't justify holding on to the rating."

"The guy would swallow an elephant and choke on a flea," House noted.

"And with the fiscal issues around here, the board of directors might easily be swayed to listen to Durbin," Wilson noted.

"In the meantime, his pathetic facilities are hurting and killing people without anyone really noticing because of all the publicity he's spewing about the convenience they provide" fumed Thirteen. "I've been doing a lot of research into the situation; a friend of mine works at Princeton General, and they've had to clean up Durbin's facilities' mistakes, too. Mistakes that, in at least one case, caused a death." Kyle nodded, taking all the information in.

"One of my assistants has made me aware of the problem with Durbin's medical centers, but she hasn't begun to gather any information yet," he said.

"Thirteen's got tons of it," Slick said. "I looked it over; it's well documented and researched. It'd be a great starting point for anyone in your department who wants to tackle this."

"Are you willing to get involved with helping my office on this project?" Kyle asked Thirteen. "And are you willing to let her use some company time to help out?" he asked House.

"Considering that you're telling me this dirt bag has something to do with the accident, you can deputize her if need be. You can have her 24/7," House grimly replied.

"I have no problem giving you a hand," Thirteen said firmly. "The mistake that resulted in a death happened to my friend's sister. Add on Thomas' incident and now the accident? I want to get this bastard."

"Glad I won't be handling this directly, just overseeing the investigation," noted Kyle. "I think all of us have a too many personal stories that could sway the investigation… at least in some people's minds." He looked at Thirteen. "Let me give you my personal e-mail; I'll have you send your info there so I can review it before forwarding it to my assistant. In a short while I'll be having you send it directly to her."

"Sound good to me," Thirteen replied. As the two exchanged e-mails, House glanced at his watch.

"It's almost one in the morning," he said. "Way past my bedtime. Nothing else is going to be happening here; none of you will be able to talk to Fraulein for the next few days. You might as well all go home and get some rest… just leave me the food."

"Are you sure there's nothing else you need, House?" Scotty asked.

"Just keep the Munchkins busy for a few hours tomorrow afternoon, then bring them back here for dinner. That's when I'll talk to them about going home tomorrow night."

"I'll call the school tomorrow and let them know what's going on. I'll tell them I'll call again when we know the point when the children will return," Marianne said. House shook his head then took a sip of coffee.

"Tell them they'll be back Monday; there's state testing at the end of next week and knowing Frick and Frack the way I do, they're going to want to be there for the pre-test prep work." He glanced over at Marianne and saw the look on her face. "Yes, I do actually pay attention to what Fraulein says in reference to the rug rats… she handles the nitty gritty details so I get to play silent partner most of the time, a fact for which I am eternally grateful." Marianne smiled.

"Greg, your involvement with the children is unquestionable; it's one of the things that makes Lydia so happy," she said. House didn't acknowledge the compliment, but instead spoke to Tom.

"Dr. Collins is coming by in the morning to do the internal sonogram; the ultrasound on her pelvis can be done in the afternoon."

"Good, give me a call when you have an idea of what time it'll be done, and I'll come over. After I see the brake, I can start to figure her PT program." Tom smiled. "You know there's a slight problem for you in all of this… you'll no longer be my favorite patient. Lydia will outrank you." House managed a smile.

"She outranks me in just about everything," he said. "Let's call this a night… I need my beauty sleep." House set his coffee cup and the half of the bagel he had left on the table next to him, and slowly got to his feet. He looked over at the food table. "Just give me the real coffee; someone else can have the poisoned stuff," he said referring to the flavored coffees. "And I'll take the Munchkins; the real life versions in the other room can have them with their morning meal."

"Do you want what's left of your bagel?" Annie asked as she began to pack things up.

"Yeah… the last thing I need is the angry rumblings of the stomach gods." House watched as people began the clean-up process. "Just a warning… when Fraulein does come out of the big sleep, she'll be acting like a hyped up Jekyll and Hyde."

"What do you mean?" Marianne asked.

"Remember when Wilson hit his head during the mugging? And for a few days afterward he had no filter as far as speaking what was on his mind? Same thing will happen with Fraulein. By the same token, just as Wilson wanted to give you a flower, hug you and have a good cry…

"Oh no… Lydia tends to be touchy-feely emotional to start with," Scotty noted. "She's going to even more so?"

"Yep. I plan on tying a cord to a tissue box and hanging it around my neck," House quipped. "Luckily, it will only last a few days and then she be teary-eyed over all the blunt things she came out and said; but this too shall pass."

"House, just so you know, Annie, Thomas and I staying here in the lounge tonight; if anything happens, or the kids wake-up early, at least we can handle them so you can get some rest." House wanted to send them all away, but he was too tired to argue.

"One of us was going to stay here tonight, too," Foreman said.

"Not necessary. Wilson will be here… and my medical license isn't suspended at the moment, so we're good."

"House, Misty and I are heading out, but if you need us for anything just let us know," Scotty said. He extended fist for bump; House returned the gesture.

"We'll be here around noon to pick up the kids from you," Misty said to Annie.

"Great, just call me and I'll bring them down to the lobby," Annie replied. Misty turned to House.

"We'll take good care of the kids tomorrow… keep their minds off things for a while," Misty said giving House a quick hug.

"Think you can babysit me for a while tomorrow, too? I could use the distraction," House said sarcastically. Misty and Scotty laughed as they headed to the door.

"See you tomorrow, House," Scotty called over his shoulder.

I'm leaving now too," Kyle James said. "I've got a sesame bagel to bring home to my wife for tomorrow's breakfast, so she'll be happy. And of course, she'll be glad to hear that all of you are OK."

"Don't let her eat that entire bagel in one sitting," House warned. "It's more than fifteen grams of carbs… too much for her poor little diabetic body to handle in one shot." Kyle laughed.

"I'll tell her you said that." He gave House a tap on the shoulder as he walked past him and left the room.

"We're going home," Chase said indicating the rest of the team. "But all of us are no more than twenty minutes away if you need anything."

"Right now I need the fewest amount of people around me as possible so I can get some sleep." House looked at his team as they stood in front of him. "You did good work with Fraulein today." Thirteen smiled.

"You were right about a lot of things today, House; most importantly that we love her, too," she said. House smirked.

"Told you the four of you had no right to be working on Fraulein given your feelings for her… but I'm glad you did." Chase, Taub, Thirteen and Foreman said their goodbyes to everyone in the room; Slick was right behind them.

"I'm working seven to seven tomorrow, just like today, but call or text me with any news," he said putting his jacket on.

"You did your good deed for the day earlier in the night," House said. "Go get some rest." Slick started to walk away, then turned back.

"Oh, by the way, Wilson was right… you can be a real ass," he said with a gleam in his eyes. House smiled.

"Glad to know I live up to my reputation," he replied. Slick chuckled as he exited the lounge.

"Mind if we walk you back to Lydia's room?" Tom asked, approaching House as Marianne was still over at the food table packing up some bagels. "Marianne would feel better just to see her." House nodded.

"I'm going to start heading there now; I need to replace my can of WD-40, so I'm moving kind of stiffly."

"I think you're doing just fine," Tom said as he watched House walk away.

"Greg, we'll bring your coffee, bagel, and the Munchkins into you," Annie said. House didn't reply as he concentrated on making his way back to Lydia's room. The ibuprofen Wilson had given him earlier didn't do much for the pain, but even that was beginning to wear off. He was grateful as he lined himself up with the chair to sit, that he would now be able to elevate his legs. He wanted to have just another bite or two of food before he tried to close his eyes. In just a few minutes, Wilson, Annie, Tom and Marianne entered the room.

"She… she just looks like she's sleeping," Marianne whispered. "No cuts or bruises… "

"The back of her head took the impact of the car; her face landed on my butt and upper thigh, a place she's well familiar with," replied House quietly so as to not wake the kids.

"She's got a tough road ahead of her," Tom acknowledged. "But she's got the right person to help her through it." House looked up and gave him a questioning glance. "A good sense of humor is important with dealing with anything this stressful."

"We're going to let you get some rest," Marianne said. "Please… if we can do anything… "

"I'll probably have the kids stay with you Sunday night; it'll be easier for you to get them to school on Monday," House said looking over at the pair as they slept.

"Call me," Tom said, clasping House's shoulder for a moment. He and his wife turned to the door and started to leave.

"Guys… wait for us by the elevator," Wilson said. He looked back at House. "Anything we can get you?"

"Yeah, some more ibuprofen; and make it a double this time. The last dose barely touched me." Wilson looked at his friend cautiously.

"That's what you get for having such a high tolerance to medicine," he noted. "I'll have the nurse call down to the pharmacy." House watched as Annie walked over to Ben and gently removed her phone and the note from the boy's pocket.

"Get some rest, Greg," she said bending sown to kiss his cheek. House gave a curt nod of his head, and placed the blanket over his body. Annie and Wilson left the room, hoping that sleep would come for House; there were far too many images from the night that would probably keep swirling through his head. Luckily, the pharmacy sent up the two ibuprofen rather quickly, and as they began to take effect, he was able to drift off for a few hours….

House detected movement to his right. He looked and saw that Ben and Elise had left the Geri-chairs, and were standing by their mother's bedside. He noted that Elise was leaning against the bed, favoring her right leg. The room was still dark, indicating that it was the middle of the night. A quick glance at his watch confirmed it; it was almost five in the morning.

"Since when did you two become night owls?" House asked, dropping the leg rest down on his chair. "You usually sleep until at least the break of day."

"Elise thought she heard Mom talking, so she woke me up," Ben said. "I told her that if she was awake, you'd tell us." House dropped his head down; his intention was to wait until the kids were eating breakfast to tell them the situation, but it seemed the issue was being pressed now.

"I have to talk to you two about something," House said, lifting Elise onto his good leg. Ben came closer to the chair, nervous about what was going to be said.

"Is Mom OK?" the boy asked. "Is something wrong with the baby?" House pursed his lips. He was going to deal with the two questions at separate times, but he realized he might as well just plow on ahead.

"Your mom is fine," House began. "But when we did the MRI, there was some bruising at both the front and the back of the brain. We still have to double check her vision, but I don't think there's been any permanent damage." He was trying to keep things in language that both children would understand, although because of Ben's interest in medicine, House knew he would comprehend far more. "Any time there's a brain injury of this nature, it's best to let the body be as quiet as possible… "

"You put her in a coma," Ben interrupted. House was sure it was just a statement, but it felt like an accusation. Elise sat not understanding House's words, but picking up on the vibe her brother sent out.

"What's a coma? And why did you do that to Mommy?" the little girl asked.

"A coma is like being under anesthesia… you're asleep, you don't know what's going on around you, you can't hear anything and you can't talk. My team gave her special medication to put her in the coma, and we can give her a different one to wake up, just like after surgery."

"But is that safe for the baby?" asked Ben. House frowned.

"It is… but I have to be honest with you. Your mom took a hard hit from the car and she's not that far along in the pregnancy that the little one has much of a chance of making it. I could be wrong, but the odds are against us; most likely the placenta separated from the uterine wall, which means no oxygen or nutrients for the fetus," House said, directing the last part of the conversation toward Ben. "There's no way to go in and re-attach it or help it in any way. There's a chance… a slim one, that the kid will survive; but there are no guarantees." Both children looked stunned and Elise began to cry.

"So, we may not get a brother or sister? The baby may die?" Choking back his own emotions brought out by her words, House replied.

"I'm afraid so… but no one would be happier than me if I'm wrong this time." Elise nodded.

"Where's the bathroom?" she asked as she wiped her eyes.

"That door right there," House said pointing to his left. Elise gingerly climbed down from House's knee, and slowly walked to the door. Once she was inside, House turned to Ben.

"You're pissed at me, aren't you?" he asked. The boy shook his head.

"No, I just wish you had told me what was going on; I wouldn't have kept telling Elise that Mom was waking up soon." House looked away from the child.

"I wanted to make sure you two got some rest instead of staying up all night and playing twenty questions with me about your mom. You kids have to look bright, perky, and as good as new when she sees you for the first time or she'll freak out. As it is with the bruising to the frontal cortex, she's going to be even more emotional than usual." Ben rolled his eyes.

"Oh, brother… that's not going to be good. Will she go back to normal ever?" House was amused at Ben's reaction to then news of Lydia's impending emotional state.

"Yeah, she'll go back to just being a weeping willow in a few days. Which is about how long we're going to keep her in the coma; we'll probably wake her up late on Monday." The bathroom door opened and Elise limped back over to House. "We'll get a bandage on that ankle to give you some support before you leave here later on. Don't want you limping around too much on it… people might confuse the two of us." Elise managed to giggle.

"You said we're going to leave here? Where are we going?" Ben asked. House then laid out the plans for the day, concluding with the idea of going home to sleep that night. Both children seemed uncomfortable with the arrangement of leaving their mother, but House left the topic alone for now. After they had spent a day out and away from the hospital might be a better time to approach it. He convinced them to get back in the Geri-chairs after giving each of them a couple of Munchkins to eat. He covered them with their blankets, and then returned to his own chair. He listened through the whirl of machines for their breathing to change, indicating that they were asleep. House closed his eyes, too, although with the change of shift looming, he knew he couldn't rest for very long. At least one thing was good; he had made it through the hard part of telling the kids where things stood with their mother and the baby and they seemed to be accepting of the situation.

Now if House could only say the same for himself.