TANYA POV
I was looking forward to Monday, Monday meant that I got to see Bella and be in the same room as her. Of course I would run by her house at night to check that her and her daughter were safe and sound but that didn't mean that I got to talk to her. She obviously doesn't trust me enough yet, but I think I am starting to warm up to her, maybe not the idea of me being her mate since she is in denial. I was worried that something was going to happen with my Bella when she was out with her classmates but I did not want to be the stalker mate. I wanted her to enjoy her time out with her friends even though I was jealous as hell.
With looking after Bella out of the question I decided to look after Tala instead. It probably sounds weird that I am sitting in a tree looking out for my mate's daughter while she's at a friends house having a fun looking sleep over but I cant help to feel protective over her. I know Kate and Tala have become close mostly because Kate works at the school Tala just so happens to go to but still the connection is there. Kate see's Tala as her niece and just wants to do everything for her. Tala is not Kate´s mate by any means but her niece and loves the growing familial bond between them. Before Kate´s change she was a warrior, a fighter, and very protective of us so she has all the protective instinct to protect that little girl though I doubt she will need them.
When Kate first met my Bella I could see how happy she was for me but I could also tell that she was envious of my mate´s body. We have shared many lovers between us over the centuries but Bella is definitely not going to be one of them. She was made for me and only I will touch my mate in that kind of way.
I can just picture the future we are going to have together, how its going to be when they move in with us, and how perfect it will be having Bella next to me every night. The though of always being able to touch her, have her, hold her and make her happy made my beast purr. The thing is until she's a vampire I will always be the overprotective, jealous, and possessive one since I am vampire and I'm the strongest one in our relationship.
You see if a vampire finds their mate in a human they will feel everything so much more than the human. Of course the human will feel the pull and want to be around their mate but they can't handle those strong feelings like a vampire can. Us vampires can't look at anybody else, touch them, have feelings for them much less have sex with them. The only person in our mind and our dead hearts is our mate and Bella is mine so she never leaves my mind.
Even though Bella is in denial about us being mates I can still feel her emotions about it. She is scared of it all, terrified really, of being loved and in love but I can feel the lust and occasional sense of comfort she gets when in my presence. I can't help but wonder what happened the night Edward left her and in the years that followed. There is so much I don't know about my mate and I kills me that I can't just ask her but I must be patient. I hope that one day soon she will have enough trust in me to talk about everything that happened so I can help her and give her reassurance that she needs because I will never leave, not now not ever I will always look out for her.
When the sun started to come up I left my spot in the tree so I could go home. I didn't want anyone to see my sparkling skin and I needed to get ready for the day. I ran back to the house enjoying the run so I could clear my head when I spotted the others. Irina, Kate, and Carmen was outside laughing over what Kate told them. When they saw me they smiled happy to see me home.
"What have you been doing all night?" asked Irina
"Nothing"
"Were you checking up on Bella?" Kate teased giving me a knowing look.
"No I watched over little Tala, it was quite and she should be safe at home by now... I feel bad that I didn't get to watch over Bella but I don't want to be that over bearing person in her life " they all smiled and nodded their heads.
"When are we going to meet the little princess and your mate Tanya?" Carmen asked.
She's probably a little jealous that Kate has gotten to know Tala and talked to Bella. the rest of them hadn't even seen them let alone talked to them. I think Carmen just want to have a little girl in the house so she could spoil all the time. Not that I would blame her because I would do the same thing and probably will when Tala moves in with us.
"I agree Tanya, we want to see them and meet them before they move in" Irina said with a pout
"Come to my class on Monday and you can see Bella there" I can't make any plans for her daughter, that is her decision and I will not control her in any way. Its a law in nature to never mess with a mother's young and that applies to humans too especially my Bella.
My coven went to hunt this weekend quenching our thirst enough to , just to talk and catch up and have some fun. It was a nice change even though I could feel the pain in my heart for being away from my mate for so long. I could feel her distress and her pain but I tried to ignore it the best I could. when we got home I couldn't fight it any more I had to at least see Bella to see if she was in danger because all the emotions she was sending me were really making me worry. Giving the others a short goodbye I ran to her house as fast as I could to check up on them.
I made my way swiftly and silently around the back of their house. I didn't want to risk anyone seeing me while checking up on Bella and Tala. I peeked in to her bedroom listening carefully as she talked to a older man on the phone. I was almost worried till I heard her call him Dad then I felt kind of stupid for being jealous of my mates father. I could see how happy she was and it made me smile if my mate was happy then I was happy.
One thing I did notice about my mate home was that there was a distingue smell coming from her bedroom. The smell was, admittedly, familiar but I hope it was just Bella pleasuring herself. God forbid someone else touched her. I don't know what I might do if someone did because my beast was already at its wits end wanting to take her every chance it got but I held off wanting her to give in and come to me first. the bond could only be completed if our mating was consensual and I would never take her by force, never.
When she finally left for bed I couldn't help watching her change because my mate was a goddess in my eyes and that meant her body was nothing but perfection. I could imagine running my fingers down her arms and shoulders wondering how soft her skin was. All of these thoughts had me longing to touch her so when she was in a deep sleep I climbed into her room and kissed her forehead tenderly. I know its wrong but I couldn't control my self she's my goddess and ever so beautiful. Her deep brown eyes, her curvaceous body, the natural maternal instinct she has with how loving and caring she is towards her daughter and friends, her long brown hair, her big smile. I could stare at her all day and night list the millions of beautiful, wonderful, amazing things about her but I need to get out of this bedroom for Bella has this dangerous habit of not wearing clothes to bed.
After promising my beast that we will have her soon I managed to get out of her room and just watch over her and Tala all night long. it was a long and lonely night being away from my mates warm embrace but worth it if the her and her daughter are safe. it wasn't till about dawn that I headed home they needed to get ready for the day and so did I.
When I got home I just took a shower to get the night off my skin and picked out an outfit for the day wanting to catch my Bella's eye. I pulled on my skinny jeans and a low top that really showed off myassets.It was still early so I decided to go with Kate to her job just to kill time before I needed to be at school . It was nice to see Kate laughing and smiling with all the children it was good for her to be happy and children always brought out the softer side in her. I was laughing at some of the games Kate was playing when I saw Bella pulling up with Tala. My dead heart melted at how she said her goodbye with a kiss and a loving smile. She was so sweet and caring, a good mother, I wanted to take a picture of them together at that moment it was just so perfect.
I went with Kate to say hi to the princess because in my eyes she really was a princess.
"Hi Tala, I am Kate´s sister and my name is Tanya" I said to her.
"Hi Tanya, mommy has been dreaming about someone called Tanya, do you know my mommy?" she asked me seriously.
"Yes sweety I know you mommy. You are just as beautiful as your mom sweety. But I need to go now, have fun at school Tala"
"Thank you miss Tanya"
I looked back at them and couldn't help feel a little giddy about it all. She had good manners, a strong will, and a good heart. She is so much like Bella. I couldn't help smirking because the little princess had given me a little piece of information I want about to forget: Bella was having dreams about me. The bond between us was working even if she was in denial she knew she wanted me even if it was subconsciously and that was good. Bella's instincts recognized me and soon enough she wouldn't be able to deny her feelings anymore.
When I was walking to class I could hear everybody talking about different things but only one thing really caught my attention. I heard that Melanie girl saying that she had a great time with Bella and that she hoped that MY mate would go out with her again. I couldn't stop the growling as my beast slammed against its cage so I speed up I needed to make sure I heard that correctly. Luckily for the human, Bella said that she couldn't and that satisfied me a little bit.
But then I heard what really tipped me over the edge. That stupid human had had sex with my bella. She has gotten to touch, taste, and see my mate naked. I was so full of rage and I just wanted to run to her and tear her apart. I looked into Bella´s eyes and I could see the regret, guilt, and shock from it. I needed to get out of there, I needed to get bella away from her.
I saw Bella stand up and start to make her way to me so I turned around and started to walk further down the hall I needed to get out of there. When she finally reached me she took my hand and started to talk. I did not want to hear her excuses so I just pushed her against the wall and hover over her. I could see the panic started to form in her eyes, I could smell her arousal and all I wanted to do was rip up her clothes and take her. oh how I wanted to punish her. I was dying to wipe away that bitchs scent and make Bella plead for my touch. I was so overwhelmed with my emotions I kissed her. I dominated her mouth pressing my entire body into hers feeling the passion grow I knew I couldn't stay here, not like this because if I did I would take her and I couldn't do that and ran out, I could hear her calling out for me but I was so close to losing it and kill that bitch.
I ran to the forest and punched every tree and boulder in sight and killed all the animals I could get my hands on, drinking them dry trying and failing to quench my rage. I was so mad I started screaming my lungs out wanting to make this pain, this burning jealousy leave my body it was just too much. All I could picture was them together. Bella under her, getting fucked, kissed, touched. All those should be me not that bitch I saw black and the only thing on my mind was killing the bitch who dared to step between me and my mate.
I started to run back to the school because there was no way that bitch was going to live. I would lure out that girl away from the others so I could kill her for touching my mate but Irina's scent filled my nose and all thoughts of murder were put on hold. I skidded to a stop right when she came out of the trees landing in front of me in a crouch ready for my rage.
"What the hell are you doing here Irina?" I yelled too angry to deal with her right now.
"Bella called Kate and said you needed help so she called me and here I am"
I hissed my beast demanded I throw Irina out of the way and go through with my plans but Irina was quick to catch my attention.
"She hoped that you could come to her place and talk with her" she explained, she had her head bowed as not to push me further since I am in kill mood right now.
The only thing stopping me from running back to school and killing that bitch is that my mate who apparently wanted me to talk to her. I wanted to oh so happily decline but I could feel how scared and guilty she was. My mate needed me and maybe this would be the chance we needed to clear the air and finally get some where. Shaking my head I sighed letting my rage simmer down to a small flame before deciding to speak.
"Okay but you have to come with me, I can't do this on my own., I will not hurt Bella" I said.
She just nodded and started to run to Bella´s place.
I know in my mind and heart that I won't hurt my Bella, but I just needed Irina there so that I didn't do anything like rip up her clothes and take her. My beast wanted to dominate her and show her who was in charge, but I will not let her win. Bella has to give herself to me willingly because I will not take her by force. the constant war with my beast was taking its toll on me but it would be worth it in the end.
The closer we got to Bella´s house I realized I could hear her crying. My mate was crying, why was she crying? my protective instincts were at an all time high till I was inside. I ran to her and scooped her up in my arms holding her close offering her comfort that only her mate could. Her sobs grew the longer I held her and I needed to clam her down before she had a panic attack so I started rocking back and forth and whispering sweet nothings in her ear.
I know she's falling apart and I am curious to as to why. was it the stress? did she feel bad? because I had been getting a ton of guilt through our bond.
"Bella honey can you look at me?" I said in my most soothing voice.
I could tell she was ashamed and didn't want to but finally she looked in my eyes and what I saw broke my heart. Irina gasped and sat down beside Bella offering more comfort. I wanted to throw her away from my mate maybe even out the window but I could tell Bella needed the reassurance that we wouldn't leave, but it doesn't mean I like having anyone, especially another vampire near my mate now that I was on a protective high.
"I-I am so so sorry Tanya, I know that's not an excuse but it's all I have" she sobbed her hands fisted my shirt her poor knuckles were in a death grip as of I would disappear the second she let go. her behavior was so strange I couldn't help thinking out loud.
"My Bella what happened to you?"
Bella buried her face in my neck taking deep, calm breaths. Frowning at my mates behavior I rubbed her back feeling her relax under my gentle touch.
" I'll tell you" she finally spoke her voice still thick from her tears "but please don't leave me afterwards, I can't take it, I need you to stay with me and just hold me This is hard for me to talk about and I don't want to, but I owe you an explanation for not giving in to this pull I have towards you" she said as tears started pouring down her face soaking my shirt.
"You don't need to if its too much for you my love" I said, even though I needed to hear everything that happened to her I was willing to wait as long as I got to touch her and hold her I would be fine.
"How much did the Cullen's tell you about me?" she whispered.
"Just that Edward met you in class and started dating you, He thought that you were his mate but figured out that you were his singer. They told me that you wanted them to leave after your birthday party because you got scared after Jasper attacked you." When Alice told me this she also told me that Jasper was so full of guilt and self loathing that they needed to travel away from them all because of the guilt Jasper felt.
Bella pulled away and stared at me with wide eyes full of hurt and confusion.
"they told... they told you that I was afraid of Jasper? I wasn't.. i'm not, I-i can't believe them "
I was a little shocked of that, why would they lie about that?
"what'd you mean you can't believe them?
"After my birthday party I could feel something was wrong. I didn't see any of them except from Edward. He asked me if we could take a walk in the woods to talk and I said yes. I knew something was up and I dreaded going in there with him. I just wanted to run to the Cullen's house and beg them all to come back. He looked me in the eyes and told me they where leaving" she was shacking from all the pain of the horrible memories the agony of the months that came after, of feeling like a husk all of it. Sensing her pain I pulled her closer and started rubbing her back trying to calm her down and nuzzled her hair purring at the delicious scent. She calmed down a little bit and took a big breaths trying to speak.
"I told him I was going to go home and pack and that I would be ready in no time. He just looked at me and started laughing... He said that they didn't want to play with the human anymore, That all I was was just a toy and that not single one of them ever loved me or cared for me. He said I never meant anything to him and that I was just something to help pass the time"
She was crying so hard now her chest rattled from the sobs. I held her close offering what comfort I could but that didn't stop the growls erupting from my chest. Even Irina started to growl. We both had black eyes and wanted to murder that son of a bitch Edward. How could he do that to my Mate? how could he do that to a beautiful, kind , loving girl like my Bella?
The beast in me wanted revenge and I can't say I wasn't picturing all the ways I would make him pay for what he did to my Bella.
"Bella, that is not true, You are not a toy for anyone and certainly not my family. I love you so much and I could never leave you and Kate loves Tala and is already in Aunt mode with her she loves that little girl so much, Irina, Carmen, and Eleazar are all waiting to get to know you guys" I hope she heard me and that some part of her believed me because I can't stand to see my mate in so much pain, it was killing me just as much as her.
"How can you love me when I'm nothing? I am dirty and tainted Tanya and I think you deserve better than that" I looked at her confused and she saw it. Curling into herself Bella's tears wouldn't stop coming and she wouldn't accept my touch she shied away from both of us making my worry grow ten-fold.
"Bella... what happened?"
"After the they left I started going out and partying and drinking, not just a couple but a lot way too much actually... after this one party I got so drunk that I needed fresh air so I took a walk down the road I think That's when.. that's when this guys just grabbed me and...h-h-he raped me." She was crying so hard that I didn't hear her I really wished I hadn't so I thought. I looked to Irina to shocked to speak sadly she nodded confirming my worst fear.
I started trembling and growling i was so mad, no mad didn't cut it I was enraged. My beast demanded that I go to forks and kill the person who did this to my mate, who violated her, who made her feel this was! I saw so angry I saw black I was ready to go hunting for humans when a voice called out to me, it wasn't just any voice it was my mates, my Bella's.
"Tanya please... say something"
I swallowed my rage as best I could because killing some low life wasn't going to help my mate. Bella needed me and my mate was more important than my revenge. I pulled her in my lap and started to rock back and forth burying my face in her hair purring at her delicious scent. There was nothing I could do to make this better the damage was already done all I could do was show her I wasn't going to leave.
"You, my sweet Bella, are not dirty or tainted in any way You are beautiful, kind, stubborn, hard working, sweet and I love you. In my eyes you are perfect because rape doesn't define you as a person in any kind of way." I said to her in a sweet but firm voice. She needed to hear me and understand that I don't think of her in that way.
She leaned back just enough to look into my eyes searching for lies then she did something that really shocked me. She kissed me. I was so happy to finally have my mate kissing me that I couldn't help but smile.
"Can you please stay? I feel safe in your arms" Her voice was small but pleading she didn't need to plead with me, all she had to do was ask an I would do it. nodding hugged her closer.
"Anything for you My Bella"
Suddenly she started to panic. I couldn't understand why so I started growling ready to protect her from whatever was causing it.
"Tala! I need to pick up Tala, I can't let her see me like this"
"Calm down bella, we can have Kate bring her here. Just call the school and tell them that Kate is taking her home and it will be alright my love"
"ok" she seemed dazed but nodded and dug out her phone to make the call.
"Bella I'll run to the store and get some food to make for you and Tala. Is that okay?" asked Irina
Irina wanted to get out of that house, I could see how angry she was. Somebody hurt her family and that is not okay just wait until Kate hears it. The whole family would be in an uproar about the treatment of my mate both by the Cullen's and how Bella's life changed after their departure. I wanted to destroy everything in my path till I found the low life that dared violate my mate but my Bella needed me and I would not leave her, especially when I finally have her in my arms.
"Thank you Irina, I appreciate it very much" she gave her a small watery smile.
After a while she fell asleep in my arms and it was such an amazing feeling holding my mate so close, ah it was heavenly. I could hear Irina coming in with the groceries and putting them away in the kitchen. She came out to check and see if bella wanted anything but found her asleep so she started making Lasagna to them. It was best not to wake her now, my poor mate had worn herself out and didn't need to stress herself out over something like dinner.
Kate and Tala came through the door 20 minutes later laughing and smiling about something Tala said. I could see their happiness and just prayed that Tala didn't understand what was going on with her mother. A little girl shouldn't have to see her mother so broken especially an angel like Tala.
"Is mommy sleeping miss Tanya?" she asked me with her big brown eyes. She was eyeing her mother as she lay sleeping in my arms but then she smiled, almost like it was the perfect picture in her head.
"Yes baby girl she is and my other sister, Irina, is in the kitchen making food for us, Do you want to help her while I talk to Kate for a moment?" I was smiling to the little princess and she nodded her head and started running to the kitchen excited to meet yet another Denali. Kate smiled as she watched the little girl bounce off to the kitchen but seemed nervous about asking what had happened. Honestly who wouldn't be with Bella in such a state and me being one word away from snapping.
"What happened to Bella?" Kate asked
I really didn't want to talk about it but she needed to know as did the others so I might as well fill her in on it so I don't have to repeat myself. Taking a deep breath I told her everything, about what Edward had done, of Bella's downward spiral after their departure, and lastly about the rape.
Kate growled until a sudden thought struck her.
"Is Tala conceived from the rape?"
I was shocked, I didn't ask and I froze.
"I don't know" I stammered out. I would ask after Tala is in bed that way if anything happened the little angel wouldn't be around to hear it because again a girl like her didn't need to see or hear that kind of thing.
Kate nodded but I could see how angry she was. Since Kate is so protective over Tala she didn't want to think of her that way, as the product of such a heinous crime. No Tala was a beautiful little girl who loved her mother and loved to play and laugh. Kate would never see her any other way she just wouldn't. nodding to herself she went to be with Tala wanting to be close to her future niece because there was no way she was leaving her alone now.