Chapter 12

Erik stares at Charles in stunned silence; the Professor is radiating anger, his eyes sharp and dilated and biceps straining against the fabric of his shirt as he clenches hard on the arms of his chair.

"Well?" Charles rolls even closer, pushing Erik to take a step backwards or risk being run over. "I'm right here Erik. What exactly do you want to talk about?"

He doesn't know how to respond to the man in front of him; doesn't recognize this Charles who is defiant and harsh and full of resentment. It takes Erik a moment to compose himself and with a slight flick of his wrist, he forces the chair to a dead stop.

The look that crosses Charles' face can only be described as murderous, though his voice is as even and controlled as ever. "Let me go right now Erik, and if you use your powers on me again I will not hesitate to return the favor."

"Charles..." He releases his hold on the chair and his ex-lover immediately rolls back, putting himself well out of arms reach. Erik sees the wary look on Charles face, as though he's expecting an attack. He shakes his head in disbelief and his tone softens, "I would never hurt you."

Clearly the Professor is sceptical of his assertion as he scoffs and levels a disapproving glare. "Do you actually believe the words that come out of your mouth Erik? Or perhaps you forgot to add intentionally to that sentence." He leans forward slightly in the chair, eyes bright and mouth pressed into a thin line. "You didn't intend to put on that ugly helmet to shut me out. You didn't intend on driving a bloody coin through my head. You didn't intend to put a bullet in my back. You didn't intend to strand us on the beach without any way of getting back. You didn't intend to ignore all the letters I sent you about our son."

"I didn't...I don't..." Erik tries to find the words to answer Charles' accusations, though he knows full well that no excuse would be sufficiently acceptable or satisfactory. Certainly if someone had done those things to Erik, he wouldn't have left them alive to hope for understanding and forgiveness.

He's obviously projecting his thoughts as Charles makes a frustrated noise and rolls his eyes. "You haven't changed at all have you? Violence is your answer to everything isn't it? If they wrong you, you kill them. If they even think about harming you, you kill them. Is that what you've been doing the last eight years? Just murdering every human that gets in your way? Humans who feared what they didn't understand?"

"Don't be ridiculous Charles," his own voice takes on a dangerous edge as he feels his temper spiking. "I made sure every human I killed deserved to die."

He takes slight satisfaction with the incredulous look on Charles' face as he continues, "Shall I tell you about all the humans I've killed? The ones who performed so called experiments on mutants, on children? The ones who beat us into submission and treat us like animals? Lock us in cages and feed us their garbage? Rape and torture us because they can?" He sneers as Charles watches him, impassive, judging. "I killed the ones who ordered the atrocities, not just the ones who committed them. The Brotherhood makes no distinctions when you have mutant blood on your hands."

"Are you saying you've never harmed an innocent person? Someone working a job they thought was rather ordinary and mundane? A book keeper? A receptionist? Security guards and scientists who didn't know who or what they were guarding or testing? Isn't it possible in eight years you and your Brotherhood could have murdered people who were simply in the wrong place at the wrong time?" Charles frowns, his voice tight and controlled.

"There are always sacrifices to be made in war." Erik brushes the condemnation aside with a wave of his hand, "The humans won't hesitate to murder every single one of us if they had the chance, innocent or not."

Charles grits his teeth, reining in his own temper as he answers, "You arrogant bastard! What gives you the right to judge an entire race on the actions of a few? And who are you to make the decisions on what's acceptable and what's not on behalf of all mutants? We are not all like you Magneto! There are those of us who wish to live in peace; teach humans that our gifts are to be embraced and not feared."

"And will you be the one to educate the world?" Erik takes a step forward, then another until he is close enough to crouch down and place his hands on top of Charles', eyes level with the other man. He's surprised and gratified when the Professor doesn't pull away immediately. "How are you teaching humans and mutants co-existence when you've done nothing but hide away here at your little school for the gifted?"

Charles had clearly not expected these words, likely anticipating a vicious rebuttal at his accusations. His blue eyes search Erik's face pointedly for any sign of mockery, face relaxing slightly when he seems to find none. "I publish my ongoing research with the X gene and when the time is right, I plan to reveal myself to the public at large; show them that we have and can co-exist. In the meantime, we build a safe haven for mutants and help them understand our responsibility to protect our human brothers and sisters."

Erik's voice is quiet, his eyes seeming to pierce through all of Charles' defenses, "You would make yourself a target? Reveal to the world your ability and have the government lock you up under some false pretenses?" He twines their fingers together, grasping both of Charles' hands within his own. The Professor inhales sharply. "The governments of the world will only see you as a threat. They'll scare the public with stories that all mutants are abnormal degenerates, stir anti-mutant resentments until no one will bat an eye lash when they round us up into camps and then proceed to exterminate every last one of us."

Charles grips their hands tightly and shakes his head, staring at Erik with an earnest expression so reminiscent of their early days together, working with the CIA. "No, there will be many on our side Erik. Humans with family and friends who are mutants; who love and are loved by our kind. They are our mothers and our fathers, our brothers, our sisters, our spouses. Not all of them will choose to hate us, as not all mutants choose to hate them."

"You live a fool's dream my brave professor." He brushes a light kiss on the back of Charles hand and feels a slight shiver from the touch, "Those who claim to be on our side will cower at the first show of force by their own people. In the end they will make up sufficient reasons to justify their cowardice and then wipe their hands of us. We don't need them Charles."

"You're wrong Erik. Humans give birth to mutants and mutants give birth to humans. We are not so different from them, my friend." He pulls one of his hands out of Erik's grasp and then brushes it lightly across the other man's clean shaven cheek. "Tell me something. What would you have done if Max had not been born a mutant? Would he be inconsequential to you then? Would you be willing to sacrifice his life for the greater good as you say?"

Erik's breath catches but he doesn't hesitate before responding, "I love Max for the boy that he is, not for his ability. I would love him exactly the same if he wasn't a mutant. And I would kill anyone who ever tried to hurt our son."

Charles gives him a sardonic smile and chuckles, "You don't think that's a little hypocritical and contrary to everything you've been saying?"

"Perhaps," Erik acknowledges with a slight nod and a wry smile of his own. "I never pretended to be particularly fair minded. But let me ask you something." His gaze turns sharp and assessing and he presses himself close enough to feel Charles' breath against his cheek, "What would you do if the humans came and took Max away? Experimented on him the way you and I had been abused as children? Would you still turn a blind eye to their evil Charles? Forgive them for not understanding us when it's our son they cut open and bleed in the name of science?"

The look on Charles' face is disconcerting; his eyes gleaming with a cold intensity that freezes Erik in place. He wonders if his ex-lover is imagining the horrors in Erik's words or reliving the memories of their own suffering as children. "I will never let any harm come to Max," Charles whispers, voice low and ragged, "There's nothing I wouldn't do, no one I wouldn't...stop to keep our son safe."

For long moments their quickened breaths are the only sounds in the cavernous room, echoing off the walls and ceiling. This close, Erik can feel the iron in Charles' blood racing and his own heart is constricting painfully in his chest. He can feel the intensity of Charles' presence pulsing on the periphery of his mind, as though he's straining to hold himself back from diving deep into Erik's soul.

His words sound ironic and slightly amused as he answers, "Well at least there's one thing we can both agree on."

Charles lets out a self-deprecating laugh and slips his hands out from between Erik's. "Yes, Max is certainly the only thing we share now." He starts to pull away, trying to put some distance again between them both. "I should go..."

"Charles..."

"...thank you for your help with Cerebro. Hank has been working on this newest version for years..."

"...don't do this..."

"...he says I should be able to extend my range to cover the whole planet..."

"Stop," Erik reaches with both hands to grip the armrests before Charles can roll away again, "Please stop running away from me." Charles doesn't answer, though he makes no further attempt to extricate himself. "I...owe you an apology."

The Professor's face is unreadable, but his eyes give him away now as easily as they did eight years ago. The emotion there is barely contained; storm brewing over an expanse of deep, blue sea. "You'll have to pardon me if I ask you to be more specific Erik. I'm not sure what you mean."

"For all the things I've done to hurt you. I know it doesn't change what's happened but I am sorry. And the letters...I didn't throw them out. I didn't read them because I..."

"No," Charles takes a deep breath and exhales, rubbing his temple as he continues, "I won't go down this road with you Erik. I don't want to hear your justifications or your lies. It's meaningless now anyway; things ended before they really had a chance to start. And I don't feel like indulging your unburdening now just so you can feel better."

"I have never lied to you," Erik snaps, anger and despair warring in his head at Charles' words. "I hurt you, horribly, maybe unforgivably but I've never lied about anything! I told you all along what the hunt for Shaw meant to me; how I felt about humans and what they'll do to our people."

Charles sounds tired and resigned, "You told me you loved me."

Erik falls onto his knees in front of the chair and reaches to grasp the other man's hands again. "That's because I did, Charles. I did love you. I do love you."

"How can you still lie to me after all this time?" Charles shakes his head and chuckles mirthlessly. "How could you have possibly loved me, when it was so easy to leave me?"

"No!" Erik's denial is vehement; he can't begin to fathom Charles' misunderstanding of his feelings. "It wasn't easy for me to leave! I didn't want to leave you, I had no choice! How can you think after everything we shared that I don't love you?"

Charles scoffs and tries to shove Erik away from him, "I've had eight years to think about it, without any word from you. It's really the only reasonable conclusion to make isn't it?"

He is completely blindsided by Charles' words; Erik had expected anger and resentment for his actions, for the role he played in his ex-lover's paralysis and the inadvertent abandonment of their son. But love...there was never any doubt in his mind of their connection; of his deep, abiding love for Charles Xavier.

He doesn't think; just reacts instinctively and throws himself forward to grasp Charles' face with both hands. Erik kisses him; crushes their lips together and pours every lonely night, every sorrow and regret and love and wonder into the connection between them. He feels Charles stiffen for a second, before parting his lips with a low moan and allowing Erik to deepen the kiss.

The world narrows into a single moment and Erik lets everything else fade into the emptiness around them. Their separate lives, their causes, their issues; there is nothing but the feel of Charles' plush, red lips on his own, the taste of Charles as he plunders the sweet, wet warmth of his mouth. Hands tug impatiently on Erik's shirt, pulling him forward until he's practically draped over Charles in the chair. The kiss goes on and on, harsh panting breaths filling the cavernous space until Charles abruptly stops and pushes Erik off of him.

He turns himself around and rolls out the door without a word, leaving Erik breathless and bewildered on the cold stone floor.

Charles makes his way back up to the main level of the mansion as quickly as he can, heart racing and mind reeling from the kiss. He can't breathe for the want that's coursing through him; he wants to open his heart, his mind, his body to Erik; beg the man to stay and share his life with him and Max.

He berates himself for his naivety, for wanting something that can never be and by the time he reaches his office he is almost back in control of his emotions again. Charles is sure that Erik will leave soon to go back to the Brotherhood; he just needs to make it through the next few days or weeks without humiliating himself further with any more ridiculous behavior.

It's a testament to how distracted he is that it takes a moment before he realizes there's another person in his office. The voice behind him is low and gruff, sending a slight shiver down his spine. "What's got you all in a huff there Chuck?"

Charles spins himself around and smiles at the man leaning relaxed and nonchalant against the book case beside the door. "Oh thank fuck, you're here."

Erik slowly wanders back up to the mansion, totally engrossed in thought. He doesn't know what happened; one minute he and Charles are in each other's arms and the next he's alone in the room, head spinning from the other man's rejection. Why does Charles insist on being so stubborn? Why won't he just talk to him? He doesn't know how to make the Professor listen; to just stop pushing him away and let Erik explain and try to make amends. What does he need to do to convince Charles that he's sincere? That he wants to be a part of their lives and be a real father to Max?

He heads to the study, hoping to catch Charles there and continue their conversation but finds the room empty. Erik goes to the office next, knowing the other man has been spending an inordinate amount of time there lately specifically to avoid him. He approaches the door and is about to knock, when he hears a loud crash coming from inside the room. He unlocks the door with a bare flick of his wrist and storms in; worried that something has happened to Charles.

There are papers and books strewn all over the floor and Charles is laying on the desk, a muscled man in a tank top and jeans sprawled on top of him. The collar of Charles' shirt is yanked half off his shoulder and his arms are wrapped behind the man's neck. They are both staring at him, Charles with a look of surprise and the stranger with an irritated scowl.

"Hey bub," he gives Erik an annoyed glare. "Get the fuck out."

Surprise! Logan is here and it's going to get messy. Sorry for another cliffhanger chapter but I had this scene written 4 chapters ago and well I hoped you liked it! Part 2 of the confrontation is next!