A/N: Sorry this took so long to get out! Me and ezzyxb94 have been slaving over this and its been hard to write for both of us so please enjoy!

Rachel Berry was 16 years old when she tried to commit suicide.

She was found almost dead in her bedroom on the 19th of November by Noah Puckerman. Along with her lifeless body Noah Puckerman found three letters. One of which was addressed to him.

My Dear Noah,

I love you. I love you from my head to my toes. I shared things with you that i have never and will never share with anyone ever again.

I never want you to think that this was your fault because it wasn't. Every time I looked into your eyes you were Noah. My Noah and you could have had me forever if you weren't Puck as well. But I despise Puck with all my being. He broke my heart into a million pieces and I hate him. I want something cruel to happen to him. How he played me like that! I trusted him and he truly hurt me deeper than anyone else has in the past.

My Dear Noah. I want you to keep the necklace that I only had for one day. It was the best present I'd ever gotten and I want you to keep it to remember me by.

I hope your reputation and Puck are worth this Noah.

Yours always.

Rachel Berry*

Puck completely broke down when he found her.

Each moment felt like something from an indy movie, things were blurry and the room spun, it was if his whole world was collapsing around him as he read her letter to him, he didn't bother with the other letters already knowing they would have nothing nice to say about what had gone down that day.

It felt as if his chest had somehow collapsed into its self, causing his heart to throb painfully could feel the weight of "the bet" start to encage him, start to cut away at his walls, at his asshole persona he knew he radiated.

How he wished to just shut it off, shut off his love for this girl covered in blood that he held in an iron grip; as if anyone would bother to take her away from him.

His bloody hands fumbled around until he found his phone and dialled 911… those next 10 minutes felt like the longest of his life, the girl who had become his world had tried to take her own life because of a stupid bet he made with Satan; ironically her nickname fit her perfectly at this point.

there wasn't a moment in the ambulance where his skin wasn't touching hers, he needed to make sure she was okay, there wasn't any other way, she couldn't leave him, he needed her, he had given her his heart just to let something stupid he had done to her rip it away.

It took almost all his will power not to knock out anyone who tried to take him away from her, he knew she hated violence.

His ringtone filled the deserted hallway, he already knew who it was, he didn't want to speak to her, but he knew he had to… he wanted her to feel just as bad as he did.

"What Satan?" he growled into the phone making sure to keep his voice as quite as possible.

"Ready for your prize Puck?" Santana purred softly, he could tell she had no idea how pissed he really was.

"My prize?" he almost yelled "MY PRIZE?" he didn't care about the strange looks he was getting from the nurses; thankfully his mum wasn't working that day. "Your little bet you got me into almost killed Rachel. I don't want your used pussy, or any of your fitly money, she tried to kill herself Satan!"

"Good, we'd be as so lucky to get rid of her permanently" she said, no hit of any emotion in her voice.

"Fuck you, Satan. Brittany will never love someone as horrible and heartless as you" he growled before slamming the phone shut.

"Fuck," He yelled, punching the wall hard.

"Mr Puckerman?" Rachel's doctor spoke his name softly. Puck turned to him with red rimmed eyes.

"We've got her stabilised and she's awake but she's very, very weak. Would you like to see her?" Puck fell to his knees hugging the doctor.

"Thank you! Thank you so much!" He cried.

When he got into Rachel's room and saw the bandages on her wrists he let a sob slip from his lips.

"Rachel," He cried. Rachel looked up at him with empty eyes.

"What are you doing here?" She whispered out.

"I love you Rachel. SO fucking much and you scared me half to death," He sobbed out, taking the seat next to her bed and trying to take her hand but she pulled it out of his reach.

"Leave," She whispered.

"What?" Puck asked looking up at her.

"This is your fault Puck. I wanted to die and you had to come and save me," She hissed.

"You can't Rachel. You can't leave me!" He choked out.

Rachel just stared at him, was he really asking her that? Did he really say she couldn't? She had no obligations for him, if anything she owed her, a lot more than she did him.

"You have no right to say that Puck" she said calmly not ready to face the anger bubbling up inside her.

Rachel watched as a new fresh set of tears welled up in his eyes, watching as a soft sob escaped his gently shaking lips.

"Rach…" he whispered taking her hand not noticing the slight tug he felt as she tried to pull away from him "I'm so sorry" he continued as he pressed his lips to her palm kissing her hand so softly and tenderly. "If I could take back that bet with Satan, I would" he continued his voice slowly reaching an odd pitch much higher than his own voice "I would give anything to take it back Rach, you have to believe me," letting the tears free fall from his eyes, knowing that even if the room was filled with everyone they knew it wouldn't be any different, he loved her, more than anything in this god forsaken world and like hell he was going to lose the one good thing in his life "I love you Rachel, it may have been a bet at the start but i love you so much, it hurts. Just please don't do this to me, and if not me, for your Dads Rach, and your future." his chest heaved as his breathing quickly started to escalate to almost hyperventilation.

His eyes caught hers and for the first time since he had been in that room could he see the hurt and pain that she held because of one stupid mistake.

"I don't owe you anything Puck. Please leave," her voice was void of emotion and it was strange to him, it scared him to think that the vibrant girl he loved sat there in front of him, showing no emotion at all. All because of him.