Author's Note: So sorry for all the delay getting this chapter posted! I had a bit of writer's block which I'm hoping is behind me now and I can get back to more regular updates. Also, I apologize if the notes in my last update confused anyone - there's approx. 20 chapters planned for the story so we have a little ways to go yet before the end! Hope you like this relatively angst free update and thanks so much for reading!
Chapter 16
He wakes in his childhood bed for the first time in years, a lonely boy no longer, lost in a sea of fluffy white blankets and sheets.
It's a new and welcome change, warm hands wrapped around his waist and a hard body that Charles knows and loves so intimately, pressed against his back, their legs entwined.
He can't help but smile and savor the moment; he's never woken up with Erik still in bed, the man usually already showered and dressed by the time Charles opens his eyes. The soft, even breathing in his ear tells him his lover is still asleep, as does the soft hum of the man's mind, quiet and dreamless.
This is their first full day at the mansion, and Charles has given everyone leave to rest and get acquainted with their new surroundings. It's likely that Erik will still want to train - the man is nothing but relentlessly single-minded and driven - but at least Raven and Moira and the boys will appreciate the break.
He lets himself relax and sink into his lover's arms, basking in the warmth and the physical connection. They've been together now for a few short months, their relationship moving beyond friendship to...something else...the night of Angel's recruitment. Between the cross country travel and then the trip to Russia, there'd been little time for more than the occasional quick and rough tumble, in and out of bed.
A low, gravelly voice growls at him, "Isn't it a bit early Charles, for you to be thinking so loudly?"
Biting back the urge to laugh at Erik's wry observation he sighs theatrically and pushes his arse against the other man's erection. "Sorry, my friend. I'm afraid you'll have to find something else for me to do instead."
Erik's chuckle is fond and amused, though it's interrupted by a sharp intake of breath when Charles starts rubbing against him like a lazy (horny) cat. "Mein Gott, you're insatiable! Didn't we defile your childhood bed enough last night?"
Charles does laugh then, taking the opportunity to roll himself out of Erik's arms and straddling him. "It was only three times. Hardly a world record."
And now he's in trouble, because Erik is looking up at him with a devilish gleam in his eye and a smile with way too much teeth. "Then I guess we'll have to try harder."
"Hmm," he runs his hands down his lover's perfect chest and washboard stomach to his cock, taking him in hand with long, leisurely strokes. Shifting a little further down, Charles leans forward and blows a soft puff of air over the tip of the man's erection, causing Erik to buck his hips and moan. He grins and licks his lips in anticipation.
"Practice does make perfect, darling."
When Erik opens his eyes, he finds himself lying on a soft, comfortable bed, feeling relaxed and surprisingly well rested. His arms and legs are wrapped around a warm body – a body he knows intimately, having spent long nights discovering every dip and curve, followed by too many years trying to remember them.
He must be dreaming, he thinks, of their first day at the mansion and Erik presses deeper into the pillows, giving himself over to waves of happiness and contentment. That had been a good day – preceded the night before by the first time that Charles had told Erik he loved him.
The moment is crystal clear in his mind still; a treasure buried but never forgotten. He turns it around and around, examining the memory, hoarding it like a thief taking something precious and unearned.
Twinkling blue eyes are looking up at him, the smile lazy and satiated from their shared release. Erik doesn't want to move; is content to stay inside Charles for as long as he can before it becomes uncomfortable for them both.
"Erik," Charles reaches to cradle his cheek, running his fingers across his brow. "Erik, I..."
He nuzzles the pale stretch of skin between neck and shoulder, lips soothing the marks he left with his tongue and teeth, "Hmm?"
"I love you."
Erik doesn't answer; doesn't know how to say what he feels with words so he leans down and places a soft, reverent kiss instead on his lover's lips. "Charles, I...I don't...I..."
"Shh, it's alright, darling," his lover wraps his arms around Erik's neck and kisses him softly, smile radiant as the sun. "You don't need..."
"Morning Vati! Morning Daddy!"
Max's voice jars him awake completely, his eyes flying open at the same time as the body next to him stiffens. It's Charles, wrapped in his arms, his face flushed and eyes wide, looking shocked and not a little embarrassed that the two of them are currently pressed together in the middle of the bed.
He turns to find his son looking quite pleased, perched above the covers at the bottom half of the bed. The boy is sitting cross-legged, elbows on his knees and chin in hand, watching his parents with barely suppressed glee. Charles makes a slight choking sound and clears his throat before asking, "How long have you been sitting there?"
If possible, Max's smile gets even wider when he answers, "About an hour I think."
They pull away at the same time, scrambling to untangle limbs and smooth blankets, putting some distance between them on the bed. It's not what Erik wants of course; he would like nothing more than to spend the rest of the day with Charles in his arms but he can sense the man's unease and knows he can't push him before he's ready.
Assuming Charles will ever be ready.
The professor pinches the bridge of his nose and exhales noisily. "Were you reading us while we were sleeping?"
"Just until you started having sex in your dream, Daddy. You were projecting it so loudly that Vati picked it up too. But I put up my shields to give you privacy once you started kissing and stuff." He waves a book at his parents. "The rest of the time I've been reading."
Erik is too stunned for words, his mouth hanging half open as he stares at Max. Charles groans and slaps a hand to his forehead. "Sweetheart, we've talked about this. People's dreams, they're private. And just last night...you should have woken us up when you got up Max."
The boy pouts impressively, Erik thinks, though the effect is a bit ruined by the mischievous twinkle in his eye. "You both looked really tired so I didn't want to wake you! Daddy, you never get enough rest."
"Do you want some breakfast Max?" he interrupts, glancing over at a still flushed Charles who is resolutely not looking at Erik. "I can make pancakes."
"No I'm alright," Max looks at Charles and then back at Erik, "I can get some cereal from the kitchen. Vati, you should go back to hugging Daddy again. He really misses that."
"Oh god," Charles mutters under his breath, looking like he wants to pull the covers over his head and hide from them both. "That's not...I don't..."
It makes him hopeful, knowing that Charles still dreams about him, but the situation with Max has them both feeling embarrassed and awkward. So he does his best to think of something that might interest their son and distract him. "Shall we go find Ororo, Max? I can move the big satellite dish like you wanted. What do you think?"
He can tell that the little boy is tempted, taking a moment to think about the offer before shaking his head. "No, I'd rather stay here and spend time with you and Daddy."
"Alright then," Charles smiles weakly and reaches forward, tugging Max into his lap, "what do you want to do today?"
"I...," he looks up at Erik, and then at his Dad, biting his lip uncertainly before blurting out, "are you two going to have sex?"
"Are...what?" Charles' eyes go comically wide at Max's words, looking like the veritable deer in the headlights. "Why would you...what makes you think we're going to have sex?"
"Vati says he's going to stay with us at the mansion from now on," he turns to Erik for confirmation, voice maybe a touch accusing. "You are staying right? You said you were last night."
"Yes I did say that and I meant it. There's a lot that Charles and I have to talk about but...yes, I do intend to stay."
Max beams and grabs one of his Dad's hands and then one of Erik's and proceeds to wrap them together. "And you're getting back together right? So we can be a real family?"
Charles sighs, running fingers through the boy's unruly mop of hair. "Sweetheart, your Vati and I don't have to be together for us to be a real family. Whether we have a relationship or not doesn't change the fact that we're your parents and we love you."
It hurts, hearing Charles so quick to dismiss the idea of reconciliation and he does his best to hide his disappointment. He focuses instead on Max who looks as crestfallen as he feels.
"You have more than just the two of us," he places a warm hand on the boy's shoulder, giving him a reassuring squeeze. "You have your Aunt Raven and Hank and Sean and Alex too. And Ororo and Scott...we're all your family Max, regardless of what happens between me and Charles."
"But you love each other! I know you do I've seen it in both your heads! I don't understand why you can't be together if Vati's here now and he's not going to leave!"
It doesn't help that a part of Erik feels the same way; he wants desperately for the two of them to move forward and build a future together in every way that matters. He wants Charles; wants to earn his trust and his love and his forgiveness and be the better man the telepath had always insisted he could be.
"I'm sorry Erik but I can't," Charles' mental voice is a gentle caress, sad and perhaps a bit regretful, "I can't promise anything when I don't know what's going to happen."
He doesn't have a response for Charles that would satisfy either of them; there are no promises he can make that will fix what's happened between them or guarantee what will come next. Instead, he repeats his promise to the other man in his head – Erik will give Charles whatever space and time he needs.
The professor gives him a warm smile, twisting his stomach into knots even as he turns his attention to answering Max. "It's not that simple sweetheart. Erik and I haven't been together since before you were born. A lot has happened in eight years; we can't just pretend things are the same as they used to be."
The boy doesn't look convinced, eyes narrowing at his Dad before demanding loudly, "Is it because of Logan? You don't want to get back together with Vati because you're having sex with Logan right?"
If possible, Charles' looks even more shocked, his face going bright red at Max's words. Erik thinks their precocious, genius of a boy might be the only one in the world capable of rendering Charles Xavier speechless.
"How...how do you know about Logan? He's naturally resistant to telepathy...when did you read him?"
Max looks sheepishly at an irritated Charles and then at Erik, sending him a mental plea, "Vati? Help, please?"
Erik grins and pushes an apology to the boy, "Sorry Max but you're on your own when it comes to Logan."
The dual Xavier glares lobbed his way are enough to keep him silent, firm in his decision to stay out of the fray.
"I didn't read Logan, Daddy! I found out from Sean..."
"Sean told you?" Charles voice is soft but strained, and Erik does not envy the trouble Cassidy is in for not keeping his mouth shut.
The boy shakes his head emphatically, eyes wide, anxious to protect Sean from one of his Dad's 'I'm so disappointed in you' lectures. "No, he didn't tell me exactly...I sort of read it from him when he first found out about you guys." Max gives Charles an innocent smile that doesn't fool either of the adults. "I didn't mean to! It's just...it was the only thing he thought about for like three whole days."
Erik snorts, trying (and failing) not to find it amusing when Charles' eyebrows shoot practically to the top of his head. "That was...you've known since last summer? Why didn't you say anything to me before, Max?"
"You told me to shield anytime I see sex in somebody's head and I didn't want you to be mad! And it was okay because it meant you weren't alone and that made me happy. And I like Logan he's nice but you don't love him do you?"
Do you love him, Charles? Do you still love me?
He keeps the stray thoughts locked tight behind his shields; these are questions he wants answered almost as much as he dreads the response.
"Sweetheart, Logan and I are very good friends," Charles says gently, pulling Max close. "We like each other and he cares about both of us very much. But he's not replacing your Vati's role in your life; Erik and I are your parents and that's not going to change."
"And you and Vati?"
"Our reasons for not being together have nothing to do with Logan, love." He brushes Max's cheek and tilts his chin up, two pairs of blue eyes seemingly locked in silent discussion.
It's a surprise to them both when Max just shakes his head, looking back and forth between Charles and Erik, eyes welling with tears.
"Daddy, you have to get back together with Vati! Otherwise, he's just going to leave us again."
"No!" Erik pulls Max into a fierce hug, tucking the boy's head under his chin. "No, Max! I want to stay and be a family with you and with Charles. To get to know you and make up for all the years I've missed. But me being here is not contingent on Charles and I getting back together." He kisses the top of Max's head and wraps his arms tighter. "I'm here to stay, no matter what happens."
The muffled voice against his chest is tentative, hopeful. "Really?"
"Really. We're always going to be a family, Max. You, me and Charles."
Erik can feel his son relax in his arms, radiating thoughts of warmth and trust and love. It's better than anything he could have ever hoped for, matched only by what happens next, Charles wrapping his arms around them both, leaning his head against Erik's shoulder.
"Yes love, we are."