"Arg! Stupid horse!" Lexa cursed as the wretched beast ran off, having bucked her off yet again. She looked up at her mentor. "Why won't he let me ride him?! I'm good with horses, they like me!" She complained.

Anya smiled, looking down at the girl. "Perhaps he senses that you do not trust him to trust you."

Lexa wrinkled her brow. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Anya sighed. "A warriors horse is not a beast of burden, Lexa. It is a partner. Partnership is built on trust. In order for him to trust you with his strength, he must first be able to trust you with his weakness. The same goes for you."

She held out her hand and Lexa grasped it. She pulled the younger girl to her feet, but did not release her hand. "Become the one he can trust with his weakness, Lexa. Only then will you ride as one."

"You're not just talking about the horse, are you?" Lexa asked.

Anya smiled, releasing her hand. "Everyone needs someone to trust with their weakness. Why should horses be any different?" She raised a hand to her mouth and emitted a high pitched whistle.

The horse returned and Anya mounted him without waiting for him to slow to a stop. Lexa watched as they galloped back to camp, moving as one.

She snorted. "Show off."

IlIlIlIlIlIlIlIlI

"Can I trust you with my weakness, Lexa?"

IlIlIlIlIlIlIlIlI

"Wait." Lexa said, rising from her chair.

Clarke didn't stop walking, though the sudden tension in her shoulders told Lexa that she had been heard. She quickened her pace, grabbing hold of the crook of Clarke's arm to stop her. "I said wait!"

Clarke stopped. "I told you, there is nothing that I want."

Lexa reached out with her other hand and forcefully turned the girl around. The girl gasped at the motion, staring towards the ground. "Clarke, look at me."

She saw the girl bite her lip, a nervous habit. She gentled her voice, trying to sound more like the Lexa from before she was made commander. "Please."

Clarke hesitated a moment, then slowly looked up, finally making eye contact.

Lexa studied her eyes. With a gentleness that she had previously thought forgotten, she asked again. "What is it that you want? Not Clarke of the Sky People, just you, Clarke."

Emotion swirled in the blue depths, conflicting, needing, yet held at bay by her hesitation. Lexa knew the hesitation well. She had seen it in the eyes of a horse once, and the eyes of a lover later. They were the eyes of someone who had been hurt by the world too much and had carried the weight for too long. The eyes of a child refusing to accept a sweet because the last one had been tainted with poison. She looked at Clarke and saw that a part of her was broken. Her faith in people and the world was in tatters. She saw the eyes of a soul that wanted so desperately to trust, but was held back, chained by the fear of being hurt once again.

In that look, she knew what the sky girl needed. What she wanted. She's strong, but she falters. She wants so desperately to be cared for. She leads her people, shelters them, kills for them, when all that she wants is for someone to do the same for her. "Everyone needs someone to trust with their weakness Lexa..." Anya's voice speaks from her memory. Why should sky people be any different.

She raised a hand to cup the sky girls cheek. The girl flinched, tried to jerk away from her grasp. She held tight, holding the girl firmly, yet with a gentleness so as not to leave a bruise. What happened to hurt you so, that you run from even the gentlest touch? She looked deeply into the girls eyes, not letting her glance away. She saw that the girls resistance was crumbling even as she saw the desperation to keep it together. Love then. Gentleness, compassion, genuine concern for her alone. That's how this debt will be paid. A horse whinnied outside and following the sound was a warriors young voice cursing at it in Tridgedaslang. A memory of when she had gone through a similar time played at her memory. Like coaxing a horse with a wounded spirit to permit one to ride.

Very well. She moistened her lips, speaking to the girl like she would a wounded horse that refused to leave its stall. She was good with horses, making them want to bend to her will. The sky girl would be no different. Of that, she was sure. "You can trust me with your weakness, Clarke. I will not hold it against you, nor will I think any less of you."

She caressed the girls cheek, relishing the involuntary shudder that whispered through her body. Thought so. She thought smugly, though she was careful to not let it show. She pretended to hesitate a moment, letting just a hint of uncertainty to show itself in her mask, then lowered her voice. "I was not fully honest with you earlier. The reason I stopped you... It wasn't for the children. I... You're beautiful, Clarke. And strong. And the look in your eyes... You do not seek for death, yet when it was coming your eyes held so much relief. It was selfish, but... I could not allow death to be your relief. I wanted it to be me instead." She let some of her own vulnerability show, risking a bit of herself. Weakness for weakness, trust for trust. "Will you let me be?" She asked in a whisper.

Clarke laughed. Her laughter was harsh, bitter, filled with self loafing, heart break and self hate. "I don't think you realize what you're asking."

Lexa raised an eyebrow. "Try me."

Clarke looked at Lexa, smiling the same sad smile she once held in the cell. "Alright. All I want, is to forget. Even if it's just for a moment. To forget... Everything. To have a moment where I'm not a leader, a killer, where I don't have people relying on me. To just Be, and not be anything else. That is what I want. I had it once before, with Finn." Her tone took on a bitter edge. "But that's no longer an option, and never will be again."

Lexa stared at her for a moment, considering the request, recognizing the raw need behind it. She wondered idly if the sky girl knew exactly what it was she was asking for, though she doubted it. She considered it. The sky girl was pleasing to the eye, the blacks and greys suited her. She thought of how she would look sky clad, eyes bright with passion. Desire pooled within her. Yes, I would like that very much.

Concern filled her, true concern for the girl that had nothing to do with her mask. She let it fill her eyes, looking at the girl with true compassion as she asked. "What happened that hurt you so much, that of all the things you could have asked for, you ask to be free from your own people?"

As she had known it would, compassion did what words alone could never do. The girls eyes overflowed with the tears that had long been suppressed, her resistance washing away like castles in the sand. She tried once again to leave her arms, fighting for control. Lexa held tight. "Tell me."

And Clarke did. She told her of her dreams and how every one of them had become tainted. She had dreamed of walking through the woods and riding horses since she was a very small child. Both dreams were now tainted by blood that her people had shed. She had dreamed of swimming in rivers under the warmth of the sun, but that too has been tainted. She had dreamed of saving her people, had worked hard for that goal, and had been crushed when she saw three hundred lights falling from the sky. She had wanted peace, dreamed of being brought under Anya's wing hoping that this time, things would be different. That dream would forever be tainted by fire, and later, blood. She had dreamed of forgetting in Finn's arms again, of taking a moment to be who she was and not the mask, only to find him covered in innocent blood. "My dreams... Everything. Every good thing is covered in blood, and I am losing the will to stand in it. That is why I want to forget, Commander. To forget would be to remember who I am, and why I stand."

"Is this why death offers you relief? So you would no longer have to stand?"

Clarke nodded. Her tears had long stopped, her face dry, a faint redness at the edges of her eyes the only sign they had been there at all. "And also why I do not seek it."

Lexa gave the girl a measuring look and considered all that she had been told. I can't replace all of what has been lost, too much has been taken for that. But maybe... What is plucked will grow again. Perhaps the same can be true for her. If she'll let me. "I cannot alter the past, what is done is done. However." She reached out, gently cupping her cheek, thumb caressing her with a hint of promise. "I can be a distraction. If you'll let me."

Clarke searched her eyes, seeing only honesty there. Honesty and perhaps... Not affection, but kindness. She nodded, leaning into the caress. "...ok."

Lexa nodded, lowering her hand. "Then come with me."