Hey Guys haven't posted in a while, hope you like this one!
Cinder's heart plummeted as the view of new Beijing entered her vision. It really was beautiful, but everything about it unsettled her, from the glint of sunlight that burst from every roof, to the small hedges that littered the earth, to the people who freckled the streets. It made her insides dip and sag with the weight of anxiety and stress.
She could see, laid out in front of her, all of the apartment complex buildings that sat so cramped together on the streets, every hover that glided through the air, every black haired, fair skinned citizen that went about their day as if nothing at all were happening. But Cinder knew better, there was a war raging, not on earth, not even on the moon, but inside her head.
She was at war with her conscience on how to handle this situation. Obviously, playing hard to get was not an option, for all she knew, Kai might have already moved on, maybe he had even forgotten that the queen of the moon ever even been a love interest.
Making it look like she was seeing someone else would probably be even worse, and despite her resentment towards Kai for demanding so much of her, she could not even dream about stooping so low as to making him jealous after the pain she had already caused. This was not going to be easy. She would have to make the right impression if she ever wanted a peace treaty between The Eastern Commonwealth and Luna.
The safest thing to do was act neutral, see how Kai responded, and mirror him. Come to think of it, she seemed to follow that advice a lot.
And her feelings towards Kai… Her feelings did not matter. She was not ready to make that commitment, and a boyfriend right now, on top of managing the stress that came as a package deal with a country, was just not going to happen. She was going to have to manage with merely a political relationship with the emperor of the eastern commonwealth. She would watch him throughout the rest of her life, him producing an heir with a beautiful girl that was not Cinder. Him raising a family, without Cinder, and him, loving another, who was not Lunar, or cyborg, or as faulty as Cinder had always been.
She buried her head in her arms and groaned. A deep, frustrated, complicated groan.
She wondered if it was too late to turn back, she could easily fake a sudden sickness that deemed her too weak to proceed with the journey, but she didn't want to seem frail. Especially not in front of Kai, with whom she was determined to prove that independency was working out perfectly fine for her, thank you very much.
She had already thought out the idea of using Iko as a representative at the ball instead of actually showing up, but it would make her seem embarrassed of her decisions. It also made her sick to think that hiding from her fears would be something that Levana would have done. And she was NOT her aunt, she would never be that way, she would confront her trials head on, not hiding behind a veil. So she finally concluded that she would come to the ball, and if not to visit Kai, to see her other friends who she so desperately missed.
The palace was now visible below her, and she could make out the coral colored roof and pristine walls, and a thin, curvy line that led up to the palace. On closer inspection, Cinder realized that this line was familiar, sending her thoughts back to the old pumpkiny, orange car that had transported her to the ball, so many nights ago. It was strange to think about that night, after everything that happened, back when she still had no idea of her identity, when Kai still thought of her as the harmless mechanic that was easy to talk to, when Luna seemed so far away, yet so intimidating.
Now she was no longer afraid of the moon, she had abolished that nightmare. So why was she still forgetting to breath every time she thought about confronting Kai? Why was the power hungry, deadly Levana suddenly sounding like a pleasant alternative to seeing Ka's face in person again? Surely meeting Kai couldn't be as bad as she made it out to be, and yet, she was still fighting desperately to keep down her breakfast as they neared their destination.
Every nerve burned inside of her, but then, a cold sweat came crashing over her, and they instantly turned to ice. Her brain was flashing her warnings, telling her that increased amounts of an unknown substance was pumping through her, that she was overheating, and then she was suddenly freezing, then overheating again. She pushed these thoughts away, not caring about deadly toxins invading her blood. In fact, she might choose the deadly toxin if it meant not having to leave this space ship.
Drowning in her own anxiety, Cinder played with her hair for something to do as she noticed New Beijing come into focus around her. Iko had originally styled it into a neat braid, woven around the top of her head like a crown, but the hair was used to being free, and falling naturally of it's own accord, so it was not quick to comply with Iko's stiff hair products. It now was spilling over the top of the braid, parts of it slipping out of their bobby pins and cocooning her face and neck. It was only until recently that she had realized that her hair was twice the original length as when she had started the revolution; the stress of ruling a kingdom seemed to make it grow at a much faster rate. Now, it fell down to the small of her back, not to mention, that the environment of Luna seemed to be tinting her hair, so it now was 2 shades lighter.
She vaguely wondered what Kai would think of it now, but something told her that he was beyond caring about what her hair looked like.
In the back of her head, the world was going fuzzy. Her thoughts became more and more distant as the clock on her portscreen notified her of the eminent arrival at new beijing palace in approximately five minutes. She could almost feel the ship falling towards the landing pad, every sudden movement made her jump.
She looked out the window again, her vision was almost level with the cherry tree beside their destination.
From her view of the palace's front entrance, she could see a black smudge of hair inching closer and closer towards them, and she didn't even need her net screen to tell her who it was, but nonetheless, the words emperor Kaito of the eastern commonwealth flashed across her vision. This news sent her insides into another whirl of nerves, but not before she noticed another form, appearing at his side. At first she guessed it to be Konn Torin, Kai's royal advisor, but it was not so, if it was Torin, her scanner would have immediately recognized him. Her curiosity almost made her temporarily forget her dread.
But then, it came back, full force as she realized that this figure walking closely by Kai to meet the Lunars was a girl. And she was drop dead gorgeous.
She had waist length black silky hair, and soft eyes, with the longest lashes that Cinder had ever seen. Her waist was so thin, and her legs so sunkissed, that she looked misplaced here, like she belonged on a net drama. As they came closer, from her window, Cinder could see the girl say something to Kai. And then, to Cinder's horror and disbelief, Kai let out a loud laugh. She could almost hear it, though she knew the ship's exterior was soundproof.
He had moved on. Cinder was sure of it. He had forgotten all about the cyborg. The mechanic. The queen of the moon. She could feel the invisible wall that she had built around her emotions crumble and burst with this sudden, unexpected blow.
Her vision began to blur, and her head throbbed with the most painful ache she had ever experienced. The stress of this moment was too much, and she fell over in pain and frustration, and curled into a ball on the ground under the window, begging the headache to depart and her stress to alleviate. A knock on her door was the only thing that brought her back to reality. Because soon, she would have to leave this space ship and face what she dreaded the most.
Iko walked in looking chipper as ever.
"Hello Cinder," She chirped, pulling Cinder to her feet as if it were perfectly normal to be crouching on the ground, and quivering in panic. "We've landed, if you hadn't noticed," Iko said in Cinder's absence for words. Cinder continued to stay silent. And, finally, deciding that this was bound to happen anyways, she walked, lopsided, towards the door, with Iko in her wake, fidgeting with her hair.
The walk down the hallway and into the loading bay was the longest walk she had ever had. She was sluggish, and clumsy, and stumbled a few times to draw out these last moments of peace that she had.
When she finally arrived at the ramp, that had gradually started to descend, Cinder had completely composed herself into what she hoped, looked like a queenly posture.
She would handle this with elegance and grace, like a true leader. Dimly aware of the guards positioned around her, she took her first step into the brilliantly bright sunlight.
And she could see the tips of his messy black hair, appearing over the top of the ramp. Then his chocolate eyes, looking coldly in her direction, and then his lips which were formed into a fake smile, and his outfit, that was formal and pristine. And she gave him a cold smile as well, reminding herself to mirror him, and not to say or do anything drastic.
She dismissed the warnings that plagued her vision, wrapped one arm around Kinney's, and stepped off the ship. The tension was immediately overwhelming. She could feel Kai's subtle frustration, every emotion that was going on in his brain was coming back to her through his bio electricity. He was good at schooling his emotions, but Cinder could see the truth. He was angry. At Cinder. And there was another emotion mixed in with the hate, and to Cinder's surprise, it was a deep fondness, not directed towards her, but to the girl standing next to him. This made Cinder's blood boil.
And then, the tension broke as Iko ran forward out of the crowd of Lunar guards and ambassadors, and sprang to place her arms around Kai's neck and kiss both of his cheeks, and then hug him as he fell out of his sudden shock at this unexpected show of affection. He was still looking coldly at Cinder though, over Iko's kisses and hugs
"Kai!" She yelled happily, planting a firm kiss on his mouth, and to Cinder's glee, received a loathful look from the girl standing next to him.
"Hello Iko," Kai smiled, and wrapping one arm around Iko's waist, he turned back to face his guests.
There was silence again, and then in his deep emperor voice, Kai said "Well Queen Cinder, we hope you had a pleasurable travel down to earth," She immediately despised the formality, and she had to urge her face muscles to stop glaring in his direction.
"Yes, yes of course, it was quite enjoyable," Cinder snapped. And then a wave of emotions crashed over her. And exhaustion caught up to her, and she leaned on Kinney more and more, trying to stop her knees from buckling.
"It is very sweet of you to extend your invitation to me, I think Lunar's finest ambassadors and I will quite find your palace enchanting." She said strongly, putting on a warm smile.
Kai looked, if possible, angrier, every second they stood, looking at each other. "Yes of course, it is my deepest wish that you find comfort in your stay. As you are already aware from our invitation, the ball will take place on the seventeenth, and then you are free to stay or depart of your own accord."
"Yes, I am well aware," she said, finding it harder and harder to keep from lashing out at him. "Have the other guests arrived yet?" she asked him desperately wishing Thorne to appear and break the tension with a joke.
"No, they are scheduled to arrive tomorrow afternoon." There was another silence before Kai clasped his hands together. "Well enough formality, let me introduce to you the lady Jade. She and her family were attacked by wolf soldiers from Luna during the war, and unfortunately, Jade and her brother were the only ones able to get out alive. She has been staying here at the palace in the time being, and will join us at the ball, is that ok?" he asked, but instinct told Cinder this was not really a negotiable topic.
It took all of her willpower not to say no, but she managed to work a small yes from around her gritted teeth. So she was a personal guest. She would also probably be Kai's partner at the peace festival, and Cinder would take the backseat.