Not Giving Up

Carol lingered in the bathroom. Her dentist would be pleased at how thoroughly she was flossing tonight. She was giving Daryl time to fall asleep in their bedroom. She had made it through this terrible day with a pasted on smile. Hershel had warned her that Daryl had suffered head trauma and that his memory of their life together might never come back. He recommended that Daryl live in their house hoping that being in his own home with his family might prompt his memories to come back.

She gave a wry smile as she looked at herself in the mirror. Her marriage to Ed had left her physically and emotionally scarred. She had survived Ed and had went on to build a happy life with Sophia. That Carol had bought a house on a quiet street hoping to renovate it for enough money to buy a small farm. Good neighbor Daryl had come over to help. It had not been love at first sight for either of them. She had fallen in love with Daryl by degrees. Attracted to his physical beauty and then hopelessly captured by all the elements that made up Daryl. His snarky humor and his gentleness. His love for his family and friends. The steadiness of his devotion to her. Carol knew she would have grown to love Daryl if he had been horribly ugly, but maybe not as quickly.

Carol yawned. Time to go to bed. Daryl was probably asleep in their bed. She had been planning to sleep on the couch and let Daryl sleep on the bed alone. He went mulish then saying that he would sleep on the couch or on the floor. She protested and somehow they wound up agreeing to share the bed. Carol wasn't sure who manipulated who in that. She knew Daryl well enough to know that he wouldn't be in her bed unless some part of him wanted to be.

Daryl could be manipulative. Last year's discussion about Sophia's Christmas present came to mind. Sophia loved photography and Carol wanted to buy her a new camera and she had asked Daryl what he thought of the idea.

Daryl had answered, "That camera costs too much money. Let her use her old camera."

Carol dug her heels in, "She's taking Advanced Photography next semester. She has a starter camera and she needs a better camera than that to take the class."

Daryl, "Then she'll need expensive software so that she can play around with her photographs. Her old laptop won't be powerful to run the program right. I think it is too much money but if you want her to have it you can use your own money." Half of Carol's salary as office everything at Graham & Grimes was deposited into their joint account and the other half was hers to spend as she wished.

Carol answered coolly, "That is what I'll do."

Christmas morning came and Sophia had been properly excited about her new camera from "Mom and Dad". Sophia had picked it out so it wasn't a great surprise though. Daryl brought out another present for Sophia from "Mom and Dad". It was a new more powerful laptop with the expensive photo enhancing software already installed. Sophia was over the moon and Daryl smirked at Carol. She knew then that she had been manipulated. Daryl liked to torque her up once in a while. He had planned this all along.

Carol opened the door and saw that Daryl was in bed on the side that he always slept on. She padded by him and headed down the hall to check on Dayton and Sophia. Her son was sleeping peacefully and Sophia was reading. Her daughter looked up and laughed, "Those hideous pajamas would scare off a biter. Trying to discourage Dad from wanting to hit on you?"

They were hideous. Pink and covered with large flowers. Daryl called them, "No, no, absolutely no" pajamas and it was a joke that she wore them when she didn't want sex. Not that Sophia needed to know that, "You better go to sleep soon, we've got to clear out the orchards tomorrow and we're starting early."

Daryl was awake when she got back. He rolled his eyes at her pajamas, "You look ridiculous. Are you wearing those ugly ass pajamas to keep me away from you? Don't worry. It's working."

"I like these pajamas. They are really comfortable. How's your headache?" Seems like a good time to change the subject.

"It's alright." He shifted on the bed when she slid in to her side. "How is this going to work?"

I'll look it up on the internet. What do you do when your husband doesn't remember who you are and the world is going completely to shit too. "We play it by ear. If you are too uncomfortable living in this house then there are other places for you to live. I hope you stay here, but it is your call." The ball is in your court, Daryl.

He turned so that he was facing her. "I'm staying. I don't want to lose what Mark Reynolds had. A real family, children who love him and a pretty wife with bad taste in pajamas. I just can't see how I went from me to him?"

She met his eyes. "bI fell in love with Daryl Dixon who evolved into Mark Reynolds, but Mark wasn't a different person. He was who Daryl Dixon was deep down. A good man who wanted children and a wife. Wanted to be loved and respected by his family and his friends. I accept that you may have lost some memories but you are still you. Now I'm going to sleep because tomorrow morning we have to get up early and begin harvesting the apples and pears in the orchard." She turned off the light.

"Did Mark Reynolds like those pajamas?"

"You will be glad to know that both you and Mark made rude comments about my pajamas."

Daryl snickered, "Then he wasn't completely pussy whipped."

"Goodnight, Daryl" He turned over and was soon asleep. She was just glad that he was there beside her. He was there because he wanted to be and that was enough for now.

He was up before she was and had the coffee ready. Dawn was just breaking as they dropped a sleepy Dayton off with Jacqui at the nursery. Theo had breakfast sandwiches ready and they ate quickly. Rick headed toward the roof for watch while Jesse and Daryl grabbed radios and everybody brought weapons.

They rode up the hill to the orchard by tractor driven wagon. Daryl and Jesse checked out the orchard before they went in. Carol and Sophia gathered pears. Michonne, Andrea, and Carl were clearing out apples. They filled the wagon with their basket and Jesse took the wagon down to the house. There was a crew waiting to store the fruit downstairs back at the house that Daryl called the Ark.

It was mid-morning and Jesse was down at the house with third wagon load. Carol figured that one more half load would do it. She drank some water and scanned the area for Daryl. He was jumpy today and had worn a path around the orchard. She grabbed a bottle of water and headed toward the other end of the orchard. She found Daryl at the fence line and headed him some water. He took the water but held up a hand, "Listen, I thought I heard something a minute ago."

She listened. Andrea and Michonne were talking. The birds were chirping. Then, the sound of rifle fire. Not all that far away. She looked at Daryl, "That's from the Greene farm. Hershel's place. We better go."

"That wasn't what I heard. Might have been deer." Daryl stared out into tree line, "Oh, shit. "

Carol saw two half-dressed bodies come hurtling toward them. Daryl brought up his crossbow and put a bolt in the lead biter's chest. He staggered but kept on coming. Carol had pulled out her short sword from its sheath on her back. All those endless hours of practice with Michonne and Jesse had given her the skills to defend herself. The second biter had swept past the first biter and was at the fence. Daryl aimed a bolt at him and she went around Daryl to meet first biter with a sword thrust to the head. He went down then and she stepped back to see that Daryl was pulling his bolts out of the biters.

"Let's get out of here." She stopped long enough to lose her coffee and breakfast biscuit. Daryl handed her his bottle of water and she washed her mouth out. He looked a little green himself.

The trip down the hill was quick. They met Jesse coming back. He made a quick turnaround and then they were back at the Ark. Rick, Morgan, Theo, and Merle were getting in the Tahoe on their way to the Greene farm.

Andrea and Michonne went to the watchtower. Jesse and Daryl went to check the Alvarez family that were moving to the Ark today. Sophia and Carl went to the security room to keep an eye on the cameras. Carol went upstairs and looked out her window. I did what I had to do. Sophia and Carl could have been killed if I didn't act. I'm going to do what I have to do.

The peaceful Greene farm had been attacked that morning. Annette had been gathering tomatoes in her garden when several biters came around the barn toward her. She almost made it to the steps before she was caught and dragged down. Maggie and Beth were in the barn and heard the screams. Maggie used the revolver that she had strapped on when she went out to the barn.. Otis had ran to help Annette and had been bitten. Patricia had come out with a shotgun and had dispatched a biter trying to get on the porch. Hershel, Shawn, and Glenn were away from the house working on a downed fence. They were gathering their tools when they heard the gunfire. They jumped in Hershel's old truck and headed back. Shawn was in the truck bed with his rifle when Hershel stopped suddenly. Biters were standing in the narrow farm road in front of the truck. Shawn used the truck roof to balance his rifle and mowed them down. Glenn jumped out and took a biter down with his pistol that appeared behind the truck.

Otis was unconscious and his fever was rising. Annette was dead from blood loss. Beth was hysterical. Patricia and Maggie were barely holding it together. Hershel had refused to move to the Ark before this but now he insisted that the women pack up and move today. Maggie and Patricia had been organizing their supplies for the move for the last few days. Beth went with the first load to the Ark. Maggie and Patricia stayed long enough to bury Annette.

Hershel tended to Otis and Shawn and Glenn dug two graves. One for Annette and the other for Otis. Hershel and Shawn stayed at the farm hoping that this time the scenario would change. That Otis would be fine. That he would come out of the fever and the dormant stage without turning into a mindless monster. Nothing Hershel did seemed to lower the fever, but the next morning it went to normal. Otis slept peacefully until the middle of the night. Shawn and Hershel were with Otis when he woke up. Shawn pushed Hershel back and took out his knife. Shawn had joined the army after graduating from high school and had survived a tour of duty in both Iraq and Afghanistan. He had come home to live the life of a farmer and to try to put his warrior past behind him. His military training probably saved his life that night.

Shawn pushed Hershel back toward the dining room. "Give me some room." Otis stood up unsteadily. His face blank until he focused on the two men at the edge of the living room. He snarled and leapt toward them with his teeth bared. Shawn used the knife as he had been taught and Otis died. They buried him the next morning and then drove to the Ark.

Carol accepted that things were never going to be the way they were. Two new families were living at the Ark now. The basement space below the two additions was converted into bedrooms. The Alvarez family was living in Morgan's old apartment. The Greenes were living in the extra bedrooms in the Ark. The Ark wasn't overcrowded but it was full. The patrols were running into biters almost every time they were out. They kept the horses in the barn at night and under watchful eyes during the day. The horses were too skittish to ride. They had butchered and preserved several steers. A long Virginia winter loomed in front of them and there were lots of mouths to feed.

She had barely seen Daryl since leaving the orchard. The women were concentrating on food preservation and the men were working on a stronger fence or on runs. Morgan insisted everyone work on their fighting skills. The old nursery was closed and the door was sealed with steel plates. The new nursery was downstairs in the safe room. They were both too exhausted by bedtime to do anything more than say "Goodnight".

The internet went down, phone service was gone and the satellite dishes no longer provided television. They could still watch local television via an antennae. The station out of Roanoke broadcasted from eight in the morning until eight at night. The building downtown was abandoned and they were broadcasting from the Mill Mountain Discovery Center. The building's lower floor windows had been covered with plywood. It's remote location, water supply, and solar panels made it an ideal location for remote broadcasting.

The broadcasting team was two young women. One Black and the other white. Both pretty and neatly dressed. Shanna and Peyton were poised and professional for the first two days. By the third day they were wearing "Virginia is for lovers" t shirts obviously from the Discovery gift shop and there was a hint of desperation in their voices.

By the fourth day they were wearing white t-shirts with the American flag drawn on them and their broadcasts were appeals for those that could to shelter in place because Richmond and Roanoke had both fallen. The army had encircled the Capitol and the White House in Washington DC. The cities were falling one by one. The safest place to live was in mountainous regions and the Great Plains. Urban areas anywhere were the most dangerous and the safest was places with low population density. The backdrop behind them was an American flag.

The epidemic was global. There was no expectation of an invasion from any foreign country. Shanna and Peyton told them goodbye every night at eight because they believed they would be evacuated soon.

The broadcast on the fifth day was occasionally interrupted with technical difficulties. Shanna and Peyton were still wearing the white t-shirts and their hair was no longer perfect. The makeup was gone but they were calmer. They invited the camera guy to come and sit with them. He was young and had his long dark hair in a ponytail. His name was Joaquin and he had an infectious smile. They held each other's hand and told funny stories about each other. They signed off that night without saying goodbye.

The Shanna and Peyton show was still on the next morning. They gave all the news that they been able to gather. Shanna and Elijah sang a hymn and Peyton read Psalms 46 from the Bible. It was obvious that they knew how completely they were on their own now. Elijah had a seat at the table now. He reminded the audience to boil water and to help their neighbors if possible, "You can't make it alone now. You need each other."

They showed photographs of their families and told them how much they loved them. They thanked people in their past who had helped them. The audience could hear the banging on the sides of the building from the biters outside. Peyton told the audience that when the time "came" they were going off camera and use the last three bullets in their only weapon. "We have made a pact to die as human beings and not become an instrument of someone else's death."

No one at the Ark had eaten dinner because they were all immersed in the broadcast. Carol couldn't stop crying. They were so young and had so much to look forward to. Daryl had put his arm around her. Dayton was asleep on his lap. Sophia was holding hands with Carl. It was obvious that the trio would not be able to hold the biters back another night. The sun was setting already.

Most of the Ark's inhabitants were praying. English and Spanish mixed in a low murmur of faith. Rick stomped off ranting, "Wasting your time with prayer." Carol clutched Daryl's hand and he moved even closer to her. She could feel the sadness and discouragement radiating off of everyone in the room. They are going to die. We are all going to die.

Daryl said suddenly, "They hear something."

The Ark family looked on in dread. The "something" was probably a door being torn open. Elijah ran upstairs and then back down. He put his microphone on, "That's an army helicopter landing outside. They are clearing out the biters. Thank you, God".

Shanna and Peyton cried, hugged each other and cried some more. They went off camera and came back with some backpacks. The sound of automatic gunfire suddenly stopped. Shanna described the action when she was back at her post. "The soldiers are using a pry bar to open the door. The gunfire has stopped for now but you could hear the helicopter running from here."

Peyton added, "We'll be back on air as soon as we can be. Don't give up. Don't turn on each other."

Joaquin had come back from some place. "Vaya con dios. The soldiers are taking us to Fort Pickett."

Shanna and Peyton adjusted the American flag so that it was closer to the camera. They said together, "God bless America. We aren't done yet." An army lieutenant stood off to the side and watched them go. Then he clicked his heels together and gave a full salute to the American flag. He picked up his weapon off the table and then they heard the door slam shut and the fading sound of a helicopter on its way to Fort Pickett.

Dinner that night was loud and boisterous. Mountains of food disappeared and James coerced all the young men to help him with the dishes. The young women went downstairs to watch a movie. Carol took Dayton upstairs for a bath and to read a story to him. Daryl came in and sat on the commode and laughed at Dayton's antics in the water. "He's having a good time. Boy is smarter than us. He don't let all this shit get him down."

Carol made ducky quack which made Dayton giggle. "You want to finish this? I need a shower."

"I got it. You do need a shower." Daryl helped her up and tugged a curl of her hair, "Lose those damn pajamas. They are so ugly that they keep me awake at night."

She stepped back from him, "You need a shower worse than I do, and I like my pajamas." There was something in the way he looked at her that she recognized. Daryl wanted her. Now was she ready to sleep with a man who didn't love her? Didn't remember the three years they were together. Probably just horny and she was available.

The short answer was yes. She could be all high minded and say she was agreeing because she loved him. Which was true. But part of the "Yes" was because she was horny and he was available. The biters were starting to clump up together to hunt. The newly awakened moved damn fast. Death was one misstep away. Carpe diem and let's gather those rosebuds while we may.

She showered and prepared herself for a night of passionate sex. She discarded the flowery pajamas for a light blue pair that Daryl had bought her for her birthday (which he didn't remember now). Daryl was never going to be the guy who bought sexy lingerie. That year he bought her a new backpack and another pair of hiking shoes too. They celebrated her birthday by taking a camping trip to Grayson Highlands State Park. She and Sophia had taken a million photographs and still never captured how beautiful it was and how much fun they had.

Daryl was reading a story to Dayton and Carol stopped to pick up towels and toys. Sophia would be back soon and it was her bathroom too. Daryl's gravelly voice telling Dayton's favorite story reminded her how much she loved both of them. Daryl didn't use a real book. He just took one of Dayton's animal picture books. "Dayton's a Lucky Boy was a simple story. Dayton was a little boy walking around the forest. Each animal told him he was a lucky boy because and that was where Daryl always inserted a name, might be "Uncle Merle or Sophia, or any member of the Ark family loved him. Daryl's voice pretending to be a bear or a bird always made Carol laugh. It made Dayton laugh too. Daryl always finished with "Mommy and Daddy love you". He must have remembered how the story went. He would get a flash of memory here and there.

Carol finished cleaning up and went in to Dayton's bedroom to find the two of them absorbed in the story. She sat down on the foot of the bed and Daryl looked up and smiled at her. He finished the story with Dayton coming home to his mommy and daddy who loved him very much. I love that story.

"Daddy needs to go take a shower, because mommy is looking awfully hot in those blue pjs. So go to sleep, little man." Daryl kissed his son's head. "Please go to sleep." He slid off the bed, "Now I'm hoping that Daryl is going to be a lucky boy today." He waggled his eyebrows at Carol.

Carol scooted up beside Dayton, "Sounds like a plan. Now get out of here so I can get Dayton to sleep."

Daryl laughed, "I'll be waiting for my bedtime story."

He started down the hall. Carol could hear the knock on the door and Merle's voice. Then Daryl's socked feet coming down the hall. "Merle says there's some unfriendlies gathering on the perimeter. We're just going to watch it. Probably wait until daylight to clear them out. If we start shooting we'll just bring more in. Daryl's not going to be a lucky boy today."

Carol slid off the bed and brought Dayton with her. "Send Sophia upstairs when you go downstairs." Daryl kissed her. A long slow deep kiss that made her give a sigh as she pulled away. "Be safe. You have people that love you."

He nodded. "Gotta go." He hurried down the hall and stopped to pull his boot on at the door. He gave her a wave and was gone.

AN

Link to Psalms 46 passage/?search=Psalm+46&version=KJV

Grayson Highlands State Park a hidden gem for hiking. Mt. Rogers is the highest point in Virginia and is accessible via the Appalachian Trail in the park. It has adorable wild ponies too. Here's the link . /state-parks/grayson-highlands#general_information

Here is the link to Mt. Rogers. mount-rogers/150778

Fort Pickett link . /

Link to Mill Mountain Discovery Center listings/mill-mountain-discovery-center/6008/

Hope you liked it. Review?