A/N; Just so we're clear, this is my story from another site called Underground Retrogression. It is a story from very early on when I had first started writing fanfiction, so I did write this. I've had people ask about it before, and I wanted to clear up the confusion. I'm simply moving it over here so it will get more traffic. NO MONETARY TRANSACTIONS HAVE GRACED MY HAND FOR WRITING THIS.
Hatter held out the dress to Scrub. Her eyes went wide and her lips made an 'O'. "Tarrant! It's...it's lovely." She whispered, taking it from him and clutching it to her chest. Then she laid it carefully to the side and latched herself onto the milliner. She hugged him tightly. "THANK YOU! She stood up on her tiptoes and planted a tiny kiss on his cheek. "I'm going to go try it on!" She rushed out of the room, taking Sarah's dress with her and leaving a very stunned, deeply flushed Tarrant behind in his workshop.
Nobody had ever kissed him besides those in his clan and family really didn't count. That girl, the tiny, strange, girl from another world had unknowingly given him his first kiss. His cheeks were as red as his hair, but he was secretly very pleased. After all, if someone as pretty as she was could stand to do that...
He shook his head, clearing all thoughts away and headed to Mirwana's rooms. He had to get her the dress quite early because it would take nearly half the day for her to get ready. A queen's make-up and hair and other such things were very elaborate for these sorts of get-togethers. As he hurried along, he imagined how Scrub would look in that dress, the black silk flowing down her body like liquid shadow.
He stopped. Then he promptly banged his head against the stone wall, multiple times. After he had a satisfiable headache, he continued on.
{~About an hour before the ball~}
Scrub twirled for her friend. Sarah was dressed in her own golden-rod yellow gown, looking stunning in her own way and nodded her approval. " certainly did a good job. You are simply breathtaking." Sarah said honestly. The strappless, black number was cinched at the waist by a blue and green striped ribbon that was tied in a bow in the back. Other than that, it was unadorned. "I wonder how he managed to get our sizes just right."
"Well, I told him your size and it turns out that you are pretty close to the Queen's, so he was able to do that fairly easily. It took him longer for me, though. Because-"
"You're so short?" Sarah ventured to tease her.
Scrub stuck out her tongue."I am NOT short...I'm fun-sized." She bent over to grab a dark slipper from the floor. "Besides, I'm not that tiny, and it's not my fault you're a giant." She searched in vain for the match to the slipper she had just put on. "Where did-" She saw Sarah swinging it on the tip of her finger. "Oh, thanks. Toss it over here please."
"Nuh-uh. Not until you admit you're short. I do not appreciate being called a giant." Sarah told her stubbornly. Scrub grinned evilly and lauched herself from the bed in a flying tackle. They fell to the floor in a giggling heap.
"GIMMIE!" Shouted Scrub as she tried to reach the slipper, but was pushed back by Sarah.
"NEVER! YOU KNOW THE CONDITIONS!" Sarah screamed back, her hysterical laughter making it hard to keep the slipper out of the way of her friend's flailing hands. Scrub, however, decided to play dirty and began a tickle attack. The hand that held the slipper made a pass within her reach and she literally grabbed the oppertunity and yanked it away from Sarah who was pouting at having lost so quickly. "That's not fair!" She complained, her bottom lip going all trembly in a pathetic attempt to imitate an element of Scrub's famous puppy dog face. "You always win."
Scrub grinned. "That's because I watch RAW."
"You do know all that stuff is fake." Sarah said as she helped herself up by grabbing hold of the bedpost.
"Yeah, but the moves are easy to imitate." Scrub remarked as she triumphantly pulled on the slipper and admired the way the sequins on the toe glittered in the light. "He really is amazing." She said quietly. "Everything he makes is so beautiful."
Sarah overheard her mutterings and smiled, she had an overwhelming suspicion just who she was talking about. "What was that?" She asked slyly.
"Huh?" Scrub blushed and turned her head away. "Oh, nothing. Forget it." She sighed and stared off into space. Sarah's grin came to resemble Chessur's. Looks like Scrub had it bad."Where were you this morning? I couldn't find you anywhere."
"I fell asleep at Hatter's last night." She said, her blush from before returning with a vengance. "And before you say anything, it was all completely innocent. I was in his workshop watching him make our clothes and I dozed off. I woke up in his b-" Here she gave a sort of a cross between a hiccup and a choking noise. She tried again. "I woke up in his b-"
"His what?" Prodded Sarah.
"His BED!" Blurted Scrub, her face now as brightly colored as the beacon light on a lighthouse.
"WHAT!" This was a complete and utter surprise! Sarah hadn't expected things to get along this quickly! She wondered how Mirwana and Jareth would react to the news. "But I thought that you-"
"Oh, come on, Sarah! I told you it was innocent, didn't I? You know I'm not like that!" She insisted, anger bringing out the green in her eyes. "You know what I believe! I don't jump every guy that I think is hotter than the sun!" Her eyes resembled dinner plates and her hands went up to clasp her mouth. Horror shone on her face.
Sarah smirked. "Your secret is safe with me." She said, but not before crossing her fingers behind her back. She glanced at her watch. "It's time to go, we're supposed to be in the ballroom in twenty minutes and I want to be there a little early."
"Why?" Scrub asked, eager for the change of subject.
"Well, let's just say that I don't know what to expect and I want a bit of peace and quiet before the ruckybub starts."
"Since when do you say 'ruckybub'?"Scrub snatched her coat from the bed and put it on. The evenings in Underland could get chilly.
"Since I picked it up from you." Sarah answered off-handedly. "You say it all the time, it rubbed off on me after living with your weird tushy for over a year and a half."
"Hey! Just because I make up words does not mean I am weird!" Scrub said indignently.
Sarah elbowed her. "Chill out, I ment it in a good way." Together, the two of them made their way to the center of the castle. This was a much easier place to find your way through because, unlike in Jareth's castle, the hallways seemed to position themselves so that they were helping you get where you wanted to be, not hindering you. Of course, his castle was part of the Labyrinth, so it should come to Sarah as no surprise that that would be the case.
The ballroom was more of a cavern than an actual room. It's ceiling was made of glass and you could see the tops of the stone towers that were on either side of the castle. The walls were constructed of limestone, which made them glitter in the light of the candles. The floor was granite veined with gold. Maids and butlers and other such servants bustled past and around the two girls.
"Whoa, this place is decked out!" Scrub inspected the ceiling, where the stars above could be seen shining brightly in the night sky. This was perfectly romantic, perhaps she get to dance with a certain someone?
"Do you think Mirwana is here yet?" Sarah asked, squinting across the expansive dance floor to see if she could spot the elegant ruler.
"She is now." Both of them spun around to see her smiling down at them. Her hair was piled high on her head and laced with peals and glittering diamonds, and curls of white-blonde hair that were allowed to escape tickled the tops of her shoulders. "Hello, you two."
"Yohla!" Greeted Scrub cheerily.
"Hi!" Said Sarah.
She chuckled. "I see that Tarrant did just as well on your gowns as he did mine. I should not be surprised, after all.." She looked Scrub right in the eye. "Everything he sets his mind to doing turns out nice in the end." A low gasp from behind the three of them caused them to turn around.
An all too familiar face was standing, in absolute shock, in the open doorway. He wasn't in violet this time, but it was definitly him. His jaw was open and, if he weren't careful, Sarah was sure he might actually start to drool. The Duke quickly recovered, however his eyes remained greedily on Scrub. "Your majesty, how wonderful to see you. I was just coming to inform you on the present state of Jareth's kingdom. I, you see, was chosen to be the messenger."
"Yes.." Mirwana followed his gaze, annoyance on her pretty face when she saw where it rested. "I do see. Get on with it then."
"Ew. It's him." Scrub said in a frightened, disgusted whisper. "Its The Creeper."
"I know." Sarah said in a reassuring tone. "Don't worry, I'm sure he'll just do what he has to do and go." At that moment, there was a burst of sound as what might have been a herd of elephants disguised as the inhabitants of Underland appeared. Ladies with men on their arms, old men with beards, and even a few animals dressed as smartly as they could, entered and rushed to the queen.
"I'll just tell you later!" Shouted the Duke as he was swept away by the crowd.
Both of them groaned. "This means he'll have to stay here and wait until he gets a chance to talk to her." Whined Scrub as she wrung her hands in distress. "That rotton son of a Snozzberry will be coming on to me all night!"
"Not if I have anything to do with it." Vowed Sarah.
Mirwana leaned down to Sarah and whispered in her ear. "Tarrant's on his way here, make sure our plans are not interrupted by you-know-who in the meantime." She nodded obediently and led a disconcerted Scrub away to seccluded corner. Mirwana sighed and turned to greet the newcomers.
"So, while we're here, why don't you tell me more about what we were talking about back in our room?"
Scrub blushed, but she smiled and closed her eyes. "He's great, he doesn't criticize my dancing skills..." Sarah snorted and earned a short-lived glare. "He's got the most amazing eyes, they change color with his mood, sort of like those rings that you buy at gas stations. And he's a gentleman!" She finished excitedly. "I wish I could get to know him a bit better, but I don't really think he likes me that way." Her voice got lower and sadder as she continued. "I think I've got a tiny crush on him."
Sarah laughed, throwing her head back in her mirth. "Scrubbrush, it is not a tiny crush. It's a huge, ginormous, dramatic crush. Nothing about you is tiny except your size."
"Will you let that go already?" Grumbled Scrub. "And I thought I told you before that I hate the sub-nickname Scrubbrush. I am NOT a cleaning impliment."
"I wouldn't say that, after all, you are sort of a neatfreak." Sarah smiled, she'd enjoyed having a live-in maid. She'd never had to clean her own room or wash the dishes or do any of those types of things after Scrub had moved in. All that was expected was that she would have to help out every once in a while. It was a definite improvement over how her stepmother had treated her.
"I like to keep things tidy, but I don't have OCD. There's a difference between the two."
"Ladies?" Jareth appeared in front of them, his sharp features lit by the fire of mischief.
"That is what women are usually called, yes." Scrub deadpanned, her eye fixed on the figure behind him. "By civilized folks, anyway."
"Good evening, Martha." Hatter said with a smile as he tipped his hat to her. Her heart fluttered.
Jareth motioned to Tarrant. "As you can see, I brought someone with me." He winked at Sarah, who nodded. Scrub watched this exchange with suspicion. Was there something going on that she didn't know about?
"I hope you two don't mind, but I would like to ask the lovely Sarah to dance with me." Jareth said smoothly, holding out a hand to her. Scrub smirked at the expression on her friend's face, now she had a bargining chip to play whenever Sarah brought up Tarrant.
Sarah and Jareth left the other couple behind quickly, but went no further than a yard from them. As they swayed to the music, Jareth whispered in her ear. "What were you two talking about?"
"Oh, I managed to coerce Scrub into revealing her feelings for Tarrant."
"Really?" Jareth grinned. "Do tell." He purred in her ear.
"She likes him!" She whispered back. "Only, she doesn't think he likes her." She added as an afterthought.
"Well, we'll just have to make sure he does. Won't we?" He replied haughtily. "After all, I don't really think she has much to worry about. Look." He pointed with his head over to the corner. Scrub was standing very close to Hatter and they were both grinning like fools. Hatter nodded his head towards the dance floor, obviously asking her to dance with him and she accepted. They waltzed for a while by themselves, but slowly were absorbed by the crowd and lost to sight.
"An interesting development." Commented Sarah as she moved closer to her dancing partner. "I wonder..."
"You shouldn't. It's very obvious." Scoffed the Goblin King. "All they need is a bit of a push and I think..." He frowned and didn't finish his sentance.
"What's wrong, Jareth?"
"I didn't expect that." He said mostly to himself. "Come on, we have to stop this." He halted mid-waltz and nearly dragged her through the immense amount of people to a cleared spot where there seemed to be something very interesting going on.
"-WOULDN'T DANCE WITH YOU IF YOU WERE THE LAST HUMANIOD BEING LEFT IN THE UNIVERSE!" Scrub's voice, which had been muffled by the on-lookers, became much more clear as they broke through the circle of people. She stood straight and was looking very pissed, while an extremely mad Hatter was being held back by his friends.
"Leh meh attem! Ah'll hamstring 'em fer tha'! No respectable mahn treats a lady like tha'! Ah swear Ah'll take 'is 'ankerchief and stitch et t' 'is backside! Maybe then 'e'll remember 'is manners!" Tarrant was yelling in a fierce scottish brogue, his eyes a dark auburn color.
"What's going on here?!" Bellowed Jareth in an outraged voice.
Scrub pointed at the fat, Duke. Sarah blanched at the sight before her. The Duke was holding a bloodied nose and was glaring intently at the tiny spitfire in front of him. Sarah had seen Scrub angry once before and it wasn't a pretty sight. She remembered it had something to do with a snarky young drunk who couldn't quite control where his eyes and hands were drawn to. Anyway, the jerk had walked funny for weeks. "He pinched my backend and I punched him in his honker." She answered, her voice dripping honey while her eyes dripped venom. "And if he ever touches me again, I'm gonna shove my foot so far up his fat butt that whenever he has do his business, it's gonna have to wiggle around the heel of my combat boot!"
"An Ah'll stitch tha' 'ankerchief to 'im!" Added a still struggling Hatter. Sarah was sure that the situation would be funny when looked back upon in the future, but at the moment, it didn't seem to be all that hilarious.
"You fagesty!" The Duke said around the blood and his hanky. "I inzizt dat chu poonish diz inzolint liddle whore ad wonce! Ze azulted me!"
"WHA' DID YOU JUS' CALL 'ER? YOU SLURVISH GUDDLER'S SKUTTISH PILGAR LICKERING SHUKM JUGGLING SLURKING URPAL BAR LOM EGG BRIMNI!" Shouted Hatter from the side, he was almost free from Thackory's grasp and McTwisp was holding on by one paw. Mally kept telling him to keep his hat on, while Mirwana attempted to soothe him with soft words.
"What did he say?" Asked Scrub, momentarily distracted from her anger at the Duke.
Mirwana blushed. "It's Outlandish and he just said some very naughty things." She cleared her throat and looked away from the struggling madman. "Not things that are usually said in polite company."
"Only after you laid your hands on her in an unwelcome and inappropriate manner." Jareth replied coldly over Tarrant's outburst and other such chaos. "Frankly, I'm surprised she didn't do more than bloody your nose. I know that if it was Sarah with whom you had acted this way, I would have personally castrated you." He smirked, his expression bringing a gulp out of the now trembling noble. "However, it was not Sarah and I do not have the personal right to interfere. Although, a certain Royal Hatter does."
"Bud, bud!" Protested the Duke. "Hez Mat!"
The Goblin King nodded and smirked. "Exactly." He turned to Thackory, McTwisp, Mally and Mirwana. "Let him go." He ordered simply. "I want to watch this."
Tarrant surged forward and grabbed the Duke by the front of his frilly outfit. "Yeh gonna regre' doin' whatcha did." He said in an
animalistic growl, his scottish accent almost growing too thick to understand. Sarah looked on, appalled, but couldn't seem to tear her eyes away. "Whin Ah'm through wit yeh, yeh'll know 'ow tah treat ah lady."
"Wait!" Scrub ran up and placed her hand on Hatter's arm and looked him in the eye. "Wait." She said again, softer. "Don't worry about him, Tarrant. I think I did him enough damage." She glared at the cowering noble before her.
"Aye." He smiled sweetly at her and used the hand that wasn't throttling the Duke to stroke her cheek. "So yeh did." He growled at his captive. "Though tha' es th' leas' 'e deserves. 'E called yeh ah whore!"
Scrub shrugged "Meh, I've been accused of worse." His eyes widened and went an even darker shade of red.
"Who?" He demanded.
She was quick to realize her mistake "Never mind that. It's a waste of time and energy." She tugged on his sleeve and went all puppy dog pout on him. "Please? With peanutbutter and chocolate sauce on top?"
"Wit peanutbutter and chocolate sauce on top, eh?" He said, amused. "Well.. " He pursed his lips. "Ah suppose." Sarah shook her head. Of course that would work on even him at his maddest. It was Scrub's superpower. Superman had his superstrength, Cyclops had his laser-eyes, and Scrub had her Puppy Dog Face. It was so genius that it deserved a patent. Hatter flung the man down and both his hands settled on her shoulders. His gap-toothed smile was bright. "Thank you." And he pulled her into a hug. "I don't think I've ever been quite that mad before." He said into her hair.
Jareth, Mirwana, and Sarah exchanged triumphant looks. Then the Goblin King yanked the noble, who was still shaking and had a distinctly wet patch on the front of his trousers, to his feet. "I suggest you go now." Jareth advised. "Or I might just..well..let's say that my goblins will have a new plaything." He glanced down to the lower bit of the Duke's anatomy and grinned, his pointy teeth showing. Suddenly, the noble was gone.
Mirwana shooed the spectators away and rubbed her temples. "Well, I guess we'll never know what he wanted to tell me." She said regretfully. "But perhaps it's for the best?" She glanced over at the still hugging couple and smiled, sighing a bit. "Love is sweetest when viewed from afar." She observed wisely.
"Indeed." Agreed her brother. "But let us not get too far ahead of ourselves. She hasn't been here for that long, they need time."
"I wholeheartedly concur, however, I don't condem them getting close rather rapidly in comparison to how long takes certain others to realize they're in love." She argued, her eyes moving to Sarah and back to him. She seemed to be trying to make a point, but Sarah for the life of her couldn't figure out what the White Queen happened to be hinting at.
Scrub, in the meantime, was enjoying one very scrumdidilyumptious hug from one very handsome man. "Who are you to be thanking me, you doddy-headed badger? You're the one who was being all chivalrous. I was simply returning the favor."
Tarrant grinned and petted her back. "Really now, calling your hero names isn't exactly typical lady-like behavior."
"That may be, but as you may have noticed, I am not your typical lady." Her eyes danced and she took his hand, stroking it fondly.
"Aye." He said, his brogue returning, but not from anger. "Tha' yeh aren't."
She smiled. "That accent of yours is spectaculous. I love it."
His eyebrows knitted together. "Yeh do?"
"Yup." She said.
He straightened up. "Well, ef yeh like th' accen', then yeh'll luv th' kilt that comes wit it." Then he guided her back into the waltz.