A/N; I own the OCs and the plot, but that's all! Enjoy
Willy checked his watch, the pills should be ready in about another hour. He was trying to ignore the disgusting sounds of Scrub and Hatter making out in the corner of the room. Just as Jareth, Mirwana, and even Sarah were politely ignoring the sappy couple.
He winced, how could someone stand having their mouth invaded like that by someone else's tongue? It just wasn't sanitary! Oh, it was fine when Dawn was doing it with him, but watching other people do it was just , the two of them had decided to end the liplock and be content with just hand-holding.
Sarah watched Tarrant and Scrub with a small amount of amusement. Neither of them had taken much time with going about the business. Personally, she was happy for Scrub, but she did wish they'd get a room. Maybe if they worked off a bit of that libido, then they would be able to act civily around other human beings instead of consistantly dining on each other's faces.
Jareth and Mirwana were also happy their plan had fallen through, however, only Mirwana was aware that yet more plotting was going on. This time, it would be a tag-team of her and Scrub. They'd worked it out a short time before Hatter had announced he was madly in love with Scrub. Sarah and Jareth would never know what hit them.
A cracking noise interrupted their thoughts. Willy was testing the hardened mixture with a hammer and it was giving way by breaking apart in tiny chunks. He worked and worked at, the thumps of the hammer a faint echo of the heavy banging going on outside.
Willy grinned and fished around in the rubble and brought up a handful of the vibrating pills. "There's more!" He said excitedly. "Loads more!" He demonstrated by tipping the pot a little so that they could see inside.
Indeed, it was mainly populated by pulsing Wonka-Vites. They switched colors properly and it was mesmerising to watching them doing it in such quantities, and it was all at the same time, so it was just all the more mind-blowing.
Scrub took time off from enjoying the tea-flavored lips of her Hatter to acclaim Willy with the highest praise she knew. "You are wondersauce on the ice cream of the world." Then she promptly went back to her very important job of making sure her boyfriend's lips did not get dry.
"Ugh,thank you, but you two..ew..just ew." He shuddered and glared at the orange-haired man with whom he had competed for the attention of his good friend.
"Seriously, guys. Don't make me pry you apart with a spatula! I have sweet skills when it comes to removing things that are stuck together." Threatened a now irritated Sarah. Scrub stuck out her tongue, which Hatter immediatly captured with a look of triumph.
Willy turned a shade of green and covered his the other he pointed at them. "I am making a citizen's arrest! The charge is love in the first degree!"
Jareth yanked the two lovebirds apart and held them at arm's length. "Please, do stop, you are making me nauseous."
Scrub reached out longingly towards Tarrant with a devastated expression. "Hatter! Ever moment that I am without your embrace seems to be an eternity. "She said dramaticly.
Hatter struggled against Jareth. "I'm coming, my love, I'm coming!"
He worked his way out of his coat, while Sarah remarked smartly with a smirk. "That's what she said."
While this hilarious battle of wills trudged on and on, with many grievious losses along the was sick in his hat due to the extreme sappiness and lovesickness that Hatter and Scrub were enduring...or maybe he had a stomach virus. Either way, during it all, Mirwana and Absolam (the butterfly dude) were inspecting the Wonka-Vites.
"Just how are we supposed to get those Knids to eat these things? They don't exactly look that edible." She asked.
"Simple, they eat meat. We hide these in the meat, they gobble it up, and..poof!" Willy appeared behind the two of them. He'd just come back from the bathroom where he'd been frantically brushing his teeth.
"There's a problem with that plan, Willy." Mirwana pointed out. "The people of Underland are all vegetarians." Seeing his confused look,she explained. "You see, the animals here are not for eating. They are inteligent, speaking individuals. Not like the animals of the Aboveground or in my brother's kingdom."
"You mean..." He started fearfully.
"We're screwed six ways to Sunday!" Exclaimed Scrub.
"No, we aren't." Sarah stepped up beside the chocolatier. " , I have a theory. If someone volunteered to be eaten by a Knid, and be the delivery system by which the pills were administered, then would the pill also turn that person into a Minus?"
He shook his head. "Absolutely not, the pill would have to eaten by that person, too."
Jareth overheard their conversation and paled, understanding what Sarah ment to do. "Oh no. No, no, no, no!" He yelled, making Scrub and Hatter jump apart. "I simply won't allow you to do that! You are not getting swallowed by a Vermicious Knid!"
"Not just me, it will have to be one person for each knid." Was Sarah's non-chalant answer. "We'll need to round up a few courageous Underlandians that are willing to be eaten."
"But won't they be digested?" Asked Mirwana nervously.
"Oh, no, there won't be time for that to happen." Willy said happily. "The pills work within a few minutes and Vermicious Knid stomach acid is notoriously weak. It takes a day for anything of that sort to happen." He fiddled with his gloves, making a squeaking noise. "When the Knids go poof, they will just land with a plop on the ground, safe and sound."
"You rhymed!" Accused Hatter from the sidelines, then he was immediatly re-absorbed into his make-out session. Willy took the time to look sufficiently disgusted, then shook his head.
"However, we need someone to test one of the pills to make sure that they work. I've got the antidote, Vita-Wonks, with me so I can reverse the effects, but it needs to be tested." Willy glanced around, hoping for someone to raise their hand.
His answer came from a relatively unexpected source. "I'll do it." Scrub said, breaking her embrace with Tarrant for the moment in order to talk. Her hair was messier than usual and her lips pinker. "I'll do it." She repeated with a smile.
{~Later~}
Hatter glared at Willy, who frowned at the baby that lay drooling at their feet. "YOU TURNED THE LOVE OF MY LIFE INTO A BAIRN!" He screamed. "THAT ANTIDOTE HAD BETTER WORK! OR I"LL MAKE YOU EAT YOUR CLOTHING.." His voice lowered menacingly. "One article at a time."
"Oh, my dear fish, go and boil your head." Retorted Willy irritably. "I'll have her right as rain in a moment."
"You'd better, it'd be counted as child molestation if I tried to kiss her now." Hatter hissed.
Sarah bit back a giggle at the comical fight between the two men. It was strange, both of them were so alike, but they disliked each other with a passion. Both were fond worshippers of the hat, both adored Scrub (albeite in different ways), and both were...well...weird.
Mirwana came back with a spoon full of peanut butter and a brown pill. She pushed the pill into the peanut butter and fed the peanut butter to infant-Scrub. Then she stepped back and waited for something to happen. And waited. And waited. Then, like Willy had said, there was a poof and adult-Scrub was standing before them with a huge grin. "That was awesome! I love being a baby!"
Willy giggled. "You're really weird."
Scrub shook her head. "No, I'm not. I'm just intangably quirky!"
"Nice." Sarah said with a smile.
"Thank you." Scrub replied with a smile. Then she grabbed a certain Miliner by the ear and began dragging him out the door. "Willy, kudos to your genius. Hatter and I will be celebrating for you." The door slammed behind them.
"That was just creepy." Willy said to the others, who were also staring at the door.
"That's love for you." Sarah chuckled. "It's sadistic, it's creepy, and it's addictive. Sort of like Sweeney Todd. However, just like Sweeney Todd, you've got love it."
Willy cocked his head in confusion. "Who's Sweeney Todd?"
Sarah laughed harder and clapped on the back, ignoring his germaphobic flinch. "I'll tell you later, but promise me you'll buy the movie."
"Ummm...I promise." He nodded, not knowing what he was in for.