Chapter 4
She was covered from head to toe in mud, with leaves sticking up out of her hair and a wide grin on her face despite herself. Hyun was just as bad as her, so she didn't mind so much. But then he used his bending, and suddenly all the mud was gone, flung out around him onto the trees and bushes, and on her as well. "Not fair!" she cried, wiping her face and flinging the glop of mud at the now clean Hyun. He laughed and dodged, racing away and forcing her to run after him. "Come back here!" But he was far too fast for her, and now she was grumpy again, because now she had to walk back by herself. And she was still muddy.
She didn't think to stop and wash herself in the river first. The thought didn't even cross her mind. She was little more than a brown blob, walking back towards town, fully intending to give Hyun a great big hug to get him all dirty again. Sheya and Lily spotted her first.
"Ewwwww!" Sheya gave her a nasty look, Lily giggling right next to her. "You stink so bad!" She made a big show of pinching her nose in disgust, while Lily acted like the idiot she was next to her. But Sheya wasn't done. "If you like dirt so much, maybe you should stay in it!" The girl hit her heel against the ground, and suddenly the earth moved, and down she went, sprawled in the dust. She tried to get back up, but Sheya moved again, and she stumbled once more.
"Stop that!" she cried, glaring up at the two girls. Sheya only smirked and twisted her arm, and suddenly her foot was stuck in the ground. No matter how hard she tugged, she couldn't pull it out. "Hey!" she called, but the pair were already walking off, laughing like they had just heard the funniest joke in the world. And down the tears fell.
Smellerbee was job hunting. Longshot didn't get paid enough for the apartment they lived in, even as small as it was. Unfortunately, no one was interested in hiring a thirteen year old who couldn't read or write and had basically no education in general. This would've have been a problem if Jet got a job, but he was still obsessed with proving Lee and Mushi were firebenders. It was grating on Smellerbee's nerves, and in more ways than one.
On the one hand, they had come to this city for a new beginning, a new start. To get away from their past and find something else. The fact that Jet was still so caught up in 'Fire Nation this' and 'Fire Nation that' made Smellerbee realize they haven't changed at all. Or at least he hasn't changed. And it was even worse because they were no longer in the forest, with the trees and open sky and fresh air. Smellerbee felt like she was choking in this spirits-damned city, and Jet's issues only made it worse.
But then Smellerbee would remember that Lee and Mushi are firebenders. That their tea really does heat a little too quickly, that their use of sparkrocks is just for Jet's benefit, watching them through their open window. And they were teaching her. Smellerbee had just gone back for the second time the other night. It had been Mushi waiting for her, instead of Lee, and after a long, confusing metaphor about planting a field, she held fire for the second time in her life. It had been exhilarating, completely breathtaking. Mushi had smiled in amusement at her expression, saying, "To suppress your bending is to suppress your own self." She almost smiled. But then the guilt set in. Guilt over the lies, over being what she was, Mushi and Lee, the whole damned Fire Nation. And Jet, who has been taking care of her since she was seven, who would hate her if he knew what she was, what she was doing. And to top it all off, the stupid jerk was actually right!
Smellerbee had left as quickly as she could after that, but she couldn't forget the feeling of pure freedom she had when holding that flame. I'm a firebender. It still sounded wrong. And now all she could do was try to forget about it, and look for a job.
"You can't read?" Menshu, the man who owned the noodle shop asked dubiously.
"No, but I'm a hard worker," Smellerbee tried lamely. She had never had a job before in her life. Besides harassing the Fire Nation in any way that she could. "I'll do whatever you want me to," she added, knowing there was usually at least one job that nobody wanted.
Menshu shook his head. "What I really need is another waitress. You can't do that if you can't read and write."
Smellerbee knew she was losing this, and fast. "I can clean up the shop at the end of the day," she suggested weakly.
"I already have someone for that," Menshu told her with a frown, and he really did seem sorry. Maybe he noticed her ragged clothes, or her thin frame. Or maybe he just put two and two together and figured that if someone as young as her was looking for a job, then she must really need it. But that didn't mean he ran a charity, and he really didn't have any work for a girl who couldn't even write down orders. "Sorry kid," he said, and Smellerbee nodded and went away. So much for that.
On top of having no education, Smellerbee didn't really have any skills either, other than fighting. She couldn't cook or sew or farm, and sure she had a good sob story, but so did everyone else in this city. Strangers are only so kind, and there were just too many lost little lamb-pups out there to help.
"Hey kid!" Smellerbee whirled around, hope welling up within her when Menshu called out. He trotted over to her and said, "Look, I don't have a job for you, but I know that Lex needs a new messenger."
"A messenger?" Smellerbee brightened a bit.
"It don't pay too much, and you're running around all day," Menshu told her. "But it is work, and since you're not actually writing anything, I don't think Lex will mind you can't read." He pointed down the street and said, "The mail shop is just down the street to the left. Lex should be there till sundown, so if you leave now, I'm sure you won't miss her."
Smellerbee grinned and nodded. "Thanks Menshu!" she said, whirling around and racing down the street. After having been hunting for a job all day, she had been getting pretty desperate. Their landlord was allowing them a brief extension on their pay for the apartment, but if they didn't start making more money soon, they'd be out on the streets. Smellerbee just hoped that this job paid enough to get them by. And that Lex actually gave it to her.
Smellerbee had to ask where the mail shop was when she rounded the corner, because she couldn't read the signs above all the different stores. Just another reminder how her lack of education affected her so much. How it affected all of them, actually. When they still lived in the forest, there had been a few Freedom Fighters who had some basic education, but Smellerbee had never thought it important to learn (besides, it would've been humiliating to learn how to read from Pipsqueak). Now, however, she wished she had.
"Can I help you?" the clerk sitting behind the desk asked politely with a smile. She was young, probably still a teenager, with dark, nearly black hair and pale blue eyes, an odd combination, at least to Smellerbee.
"I was looking for Lex," she answered. "She owns this place, right?"
The girl nodded. "That she does. Fortunately for you, Miss Lex is still here and in her office. Might I ask what you want to talk to her about?"
"Um..." Smellerbee shifted feet. "Menshu -he owns the noodle shop around the corner- said that she was looking for a new messenger."
"Oh, so you are here for a job." The girl simply nodded to herself and and hopped down from her seat. She was rather tall, with long arms and legs and an odd skip in her step. "Follow me," she said, leading Smellerbee around the desk and towards the back. A door on the right was open and revealed a room full of scribes, all of whom were busy scribbling away on parchment, making copies or letters or whatever it was that they did. Smellerbee was led past them to the door in the back, which opened up into a much smaller room. Inside were shelves covered in scrolls and books, and at the center was a desk. A middle-aged woman sat behind it, reading over some parchment while she rubbed her creased forehead. The woman, who Smellerbee assumed was Lex, looked up when they came in, revealing chocolate brown eyes that matched her hair. "Miss Lex," the girl said. "This...one is here looking for a job." Smellerbee knew that the pause was because she wasn't sure whether to say 'girl' or 'boy.' She clenched her fist and forced herself to ignore it.
"A job," Lex said, not quite a question.
"Oh!" the girl suddenly jumped. "As a new messenger! That's...uh, that's the job h-" She glanced at Smellerbee, seemed to take a wild guess, and amended, "-she is looking for." Smellerbee gave her a near imperceptible nod, and the girl greatly relaxed. She actually heard her sigh of relief.
Lex looked like she was holding in a chuckle as she said, "Thank you Si. You may return to your desk."
"Ah, yes'm Miss Lex!" The girl, Si, hurried off, looking quite flustered with herself. Smellerbee watched her go.
"Oh don't mind Si." Smellerbee turned back around to face the older woman, who said, "She's always like that. But anyways, you're here because you want to be a messenger?"
Smellerbee nodded. "Menshu said you needed someone."
"Aye, that's true. Would you tell me your name?"
"Um...Smellerbee." She had never before been embarrassed about her name. She had chosen it after all...sort of. But after the whole he/she thing with Si, and the fact that she had already been turned down so many times today, Smellerbee was feeling particularly vulnerable at the moment.
Fortunately, Lex simply smiled and said, "Nice to meet you Smellerbee. I'm Lex...though you probably already know that. I just have a few questions for you, if that's alright."
"Okay." Smellerbee had done this multiple times today. Usually, it started with 'Can you do this?' or 'How good are you at that?' She nearly always had to answer negatively.
"Do you like to run?" Lex asked simply. She leaned forward on her desk, an interesting twinkle in her eye that Smellerbee couldn't quite place.
"Um...yeah, I guess."
Lex picked up a random game piece off her desk and twirled it between her fingers. Tapping it against her cheek, she asked, "You any good at it?"
"I guess so." Smellerbee felt like she should add more, so she said, "Before coming to Ba Sing Se, I used to live in the woods, and I was really good at climbing trees and stuff. So I don't get tired easily."
"Excellent!" Lex looked like she was having far too much fun with this. Smellerbee wasn't even sure what about it amused the woman so much, but she decided to take it as a good sign. "Just one more thing: can you read?"
Smellerbee felt so deflated, that Lex could probably see the way her face suddenly dropped. "No," she answered sullenly.
"Well, are good at memorizing then?" Lex quickly followed up, taking Smellerbee by surprised. The woman must've guessed her expression because she explained, "If you can't read, then you'll just have to memorize the directions before leaving to deliver letters."
"I...I can do that," Smellerbee said with probably a little more desperation in her voice than intended. She'd memorize all of Ba Sing Se if it gave her a job!
Lex's expression softened a bit and she nodded. "Alright then Smellerbee. Welcome to the team."
Smellerbee felt her eyes widen. "You mean...I can work here?"
"Of course. Can you come back tomorrow at dawn?"
"Yes! I will!" Smellerbee was grinning now. She had a job! "Thank you so much!"
Lex chuckled and fiddled the game piece between her fingers. "My pleasure Smellerbee. I'll have someone explain things to you tomorrow. But it's getting a bit late now. Best you get home before curfew."
"Thank you Miss Lex!" Smellerbee said again, earning an outright laugh.
"Oh, just call me Lex," she said. "Only Si calls me 'Miss.' I really don't know what I'm going to do with that girl. Go on now. It's almost sundown, and I want to get home in time for dinner."
Smellerbee practically skipped out of the mail shop, except she really wasn't one to skip. She instead settled for a happy trot as she made her way back towards the apartment. It occurred to her that she didn't know what the pay was, but so long as it wasn't anything less than a silver coin a day, they should be fine, if only just barely. If it still wasn't enough, then she would just have to organize something with Longshot ad force Jet to go out and find work for himself. Actually, she should do that anyway.
She was just turning down their street when Smellerbee felt eyes watching her. She subtly glanced over her shoulder and noticed two robed earthbenders, with wide brimmed hats and the familiar Earth Kingdom symbol on their sleeve. The Dai Li. Smellerbee quickly turned away and hurried along, not anxious for trouble. She didn't feel safe until she was back in the apartment, with the door shut firmly behind her. Almost immediately, the grin returned when Smellerbee spotted Longshot in the tiny kitchen area, stirring together the remains of last night's meal into something akin to soup. "I found a job!" she exclaimed, before launching into the full story.
Smellerbee retired to her pallet feeling content. And relieved. The past week had been difficult, between Jet's obsessions and the fact that only Longshot had a job. Smellerbee had little idea what to do with herself, besides sneaking off to learn firebending. But now she could do something. Something useful. And tomorrow would be the start of the 'new life' they came here for. She might even learn how to read! It was a mail shop, after all. And she was finally learning how to control her firebending, thanks to Mushi and Lee. And as for Jet...
Jet. She had nearly forgotten. Jet wasn't back yet. It was way past curfew. Spirits dammit.
So based on the episode where Iroh calls Smellerbee a boy, and she does that whole bit of "I'm a girl!" and Longshot goes to 'talk' with her, it seems that she has some issues with her identity, particularly her gender. Despite being more tom-boyish, she does seem quite adamant about the fact that she's a girl, but tries not to let the comments and whatnot bother her. I can definitely see her getting bullied at a young age and as a result try to be 'more like her gender.' In the series, it looks like she tries not to let it bother her, but deep down, she still has those insecurities that makes her lash out against being called a boy.
So that's my deep, theological analysis on Smellerbee, both in my beginning little sequence as well as the whole he/she incident with Si.
Ten points to anyone who can guess the 'planting a field' metaphor and how it connects to firebending. Like, seriously. I didn't really fully think out the metaphor myself. I mean, I have some vague idea of what Iroh was saying, but I didn't really fully think it out...whatever, someone make a metaphor.
Okay, last thing. So this was originally entered in the FCP writing contest by Sun Daughter, and guess what? This story got in the top three! Yay! But you guys should go check out Sun Daughter's page to see the others that were entered. Lemme tell you, there were some real great ones out there, and you should definitely go read them. I think I should also add a special thanks to Sun Daughter herself, because without the contest, I doubt this story ever being published. So that's it. Tune in next time, in what will hopefully not be such an obnoxious wait!