Chapter 5

Smellerbee tried to count the days, but it was all rather fuzzy. She tried to keep track on her fingers, holding them up one at a time, slowly going by the hours and minutes and seconds... She lost track after about the third or fourth time she had filled up all her fingers, and her head hurt too much to try again. After a long sigh, she decided it didn't matter. That was in her past, and now she had a new family. Her and Jet and Longshot. They were an odd combination, but Smellerbee didn't mind. They welcomed her, and that was enough.

They wouldn't still welcome me if they knew...

One day, perhaps, Smellerbee hoped to share her dark, deep secret. And maybe they wouldn't reject her after they found out. It was a foolish dream, but Smellerbee couldn't help but wish it. It gave her something to hope for, and it was always important to hope for something. For now, however, she kept silent. She had only known them for a little over a month, after all.

They were building a home for themselves, out deep in the woods, partially in a cave and hidden by bushes so no Fire Nation soldiers could ever find them. It was nice to have a home again, even if it was only half-finished. It made her feel like she belonged somewhere again. In fact, she did belong somewhere again. With Jet, who was big and strong and brave. And Longshot, who was silent but always seemed to be there, even if she didn't know him very well yet. The Freedom fighters, as Jet had taken to calling them. By the way Longshot rolled his eyes when he first suggested the name, Smellerbee knew he thought it was silly. She thought it was perfect.

But for now, the Freedom Fighters had a home to finish. Smellerbee was sneaking into the small Fire Nation colony they were close to for more supplies. It was the first big mission Jet had entrusted her with, and she was absolutely thrilled to do it. Longshot hadn't said anything on the matter, but then again, Longshot didn't really say much at all. Smellerbee wondered if he was mute, but she was too afraid to ask. Asking would lead to a story, and she wasn't sure if she was ready to hear it yet.

The moon wasn't out, and the stars were covered by clouds. It was perfect for a little seven year old girl to slip silently into the village and snatch up what they needed. Distantly, in the back of Smellerbee's mind, she wondered if she was eight yet. But to figure that out she would have to count the days, and she had already decided that it didn't matter. She supposed she could stay seven for now. Eight was a rather big number.

No lights were on; everyone had long since snuggled away in their nice, warm beds in their nice, warm homes. Smellerbee glared at the houses, as if they were to blame for her misfortune, its occupants' comfort. And in a way, they almost were. This was all the Fire Nation's fault. They caused all of this. There should be Earth Kingdom citizens safe in those homes, not the ash-makers. And Smellerbee...well, she should never have existed in the first place. She didn't like to think on that.

As silent as a shadow, Smellerbee snatched up what they needed, stuffing it into the bag she brought with her, taking extra care to make sure her cargo didn't make any noise. Her work was easy, mostly because there were no guards up. The town was tiny, barely more than a hovel, and apparently the use of security was deemed unnecessary. Besides, who would want to attack such an insignificant village anyway? If only it was more than the three of them, then they could take back this place no problem.

A gentle whimper of a child left Smellerbee frozen where she stood, enveloped in the shadows around her. Suddenly there was a light, and she pressed herself against the wall of the house she was beside. The house where the noise had come from. Smellerbee prepared to run if need be.

There was some rustling, and the sound of a door opening silently. "Are you okay darling?" came the slightly muffled sound of a kindly woman. At least, she sounded kindly. Tentatively, Smellerbee raised her head to peek through the open window, finding a mother sitting on a bed and looking over a sniffling child, who had pulled his sheets up to his chin. He was small, younger than Smellerbee most likely, and his amber eyes were wet with tears. There was a candle on a table giving off a dull glow, and Smellerbee couldn't help but stare at it. It was almost like it was calling to her. She felt she could just reach out and-

"I had a dream Mama," the little boy whimpered, breaking Smellerbee from her trance. "It was a scary dream." His eyes darted around the room in fear, as if expecting a spirit to suddenly jump out and snatch right out of his bed. The shadows looming on the wall from the flickering candle certainly made Smellerbee think so.

"What did you dream?" his mother asked gently, soothing his dark hair back and wiping away a tear racing down his cheek. She was gazing down at him with a look in her eyes that Smellerbee had practically forgotten. A look she barely recognized.

"There was a big monster," answered the child. "It was all red. It looked like blood!" He shivered and pulled his blankets tighter around himself. "It was chasing after me and wouldn't stop!" He glanced out the window and Smellerbee ducked just in time.

"Oh darling," the mother said, and Smellerbee dared to peek back through the window. The boy was cuddled in the woman's arms, clinging to her robe as if it were a lifeline. "It's okay. It was just a dream, you don't have to be afraid. It wasn't real." She rubbed circles on his back as she continued to whisper soft reassurances to him, promising him that he was safe with her.

"The monster was going to eat me," the child said in a near silent whisper. "It was eating everything." He curled into his mother, sniffling softly and shaking in her arms. "I don't want the monster to eat me," he sobbed, putting his thumb into mouth.

"The monster isn't going to eat you," the mother told him gently, setting him back on the bed so she could look at him. She wiped away the remainder of his tears and said, "Just remember: I will always protect you. I will never let any monster eat you up. Okay?"

The boy sniffed. "Promise?" he asked around his thumb.

"Promise," the mother smiled, kissing his brow. "Now back to bed with you. Or you won't want to get up in the morning."

He nodded, wiping his eyes and putting on a brave smile. "Okay Mama," he agreed, crawling back beneath his blankets and snuggling in. His mother kissed him on the forehead and whispered something in his ear, before standing and blowing out the candle. Smellerbee waited until she had left the room before she dared move. Even then, she stayed still for several minutes after.

Very slowly, Smellerbee hoisted her bag and walked through the town. She found herself blinking back tears, slipping down her cheeks despite herself. Stop it! she ordered, but she couldn't. It just...it wasn't fair! Even when she had a mother she never found such love and comfort! And all because of them. The Fire Nation. The ones who do nothing but burn and destroy and... Smellerbee shut her eyes against the world and paused at the treeline.

Daddy had green eyes. And Mommy had brown. But really...no. Daddy had gold eyes. Eyes like the fire which he used to scorch the whole world. Eyes that blazed with contempt and hatred, gloating over the weak and the conquered. Taking whatever he wanted...not caring for the little girl that became the outcome. When she was little, she never knew why Daddy seemed to hate her so much. And now, she knew that he was never her daddy to begin with. Of course he didn't love her. She was a disgrace...a monster.

"I always knew you where trouble! I should've left you out in the woods for the beasts! You...you're one of them."

Smellerbee shook herself. She wished she didn't know these things. She was too young to know these things. Maybe she was eight after all. She certainly felt more grown-up than seven...

"Get out of here, demon!"

Amber eyes wet with tears. Love never given, only harsh glares. The day she first threw her sparks was the day the world ended. Fires, everywhere. People screaming. It had been an accident, she hadn't meant to. But there were so many things that were just an accident, and being an accident didn't make it all better. It didn't matter it wasn't her fault. It was still truth, and for it, she must suffer. Whether by the hands of those she had thought she could trust...or of the Fire Nation. She should be dead right now. Dead or worse. There was only one reason why Smellerbee stood here today. The thought of it just made her feel worse.

She began walking through the woods, eyes downcast to pick out the brambles that threatened to trip her in the dark of night. She could barely see and she dared not make a light for herself. She doubted she could do it, anyways. But it didn't matter, because there was no way she was going to try. She would never let that part of herself out ever again.

Smellerbee sighed as she walked. Her bag of stolen supplies suddenly felt much heavier than it really was, a far too large a burden for her small form to carry. It seemed like everything these days was too heavy to lift. There was a weight on her chest, put there from so much pain and hate...and the fire. Smellerbee suddenly felt so very cold, despite the warm night.

It took much longer for her to walk back than it was to get to the village. Longshot was awake when she finally returned, silently resting in the single chair they had. She didn't know if he stayed up for her, or simply couldn't sleep, but Smellerbee didn't care much either way. He simply nodded to her, and she nodded to him, and she dropped her things and wearily pulled off her boots and outer clothes and gloves. She crawled into her sleeping mat, really more just a pile of old furs stuffed with soft grasses, and a blanket thin enough for the hot summer air. A far cry from the comfortable bed the little boy had curled up on.

Smellerbee tried to forget the boy and the mother, but she couldn't. And every time she thought of them, a sharp pang of jealousy shot through her. She hated it. She shouldn't be jealous of the Fire Nation! But she wasn't jealous of the Fire Nation. Just of the look in the mother's eyes as she gazed down at her son, holding him to her bosom and keeping him safe from the nightmares. So protective. So calm. So loving. Smellerbee barely knew the word.

"You are nothing but an ash-making monster, just like the rest of the Fire Nation!"

A tear rolled down her cheek.

"You bring nothing but hatred and destruction to the entire world!"

Longshot got up and went to bed, making hardly a sound as he slipped beneath his own blanket.

"We should just give you to them. The Fire Nation can have their bastard back!"

When sleep finally came for the weary girl, Smellerbee dreamed of a monster covered in blood chasing her down, a snarl on its face and murder in its golden eyes.

Well that turned out a little darker than I intended. Ah, whatever. I hope I didn't hit you guys over the head too much with the symbolism. I tried not to be too heavy-handed with it, but I may have failed. Oh well.

So, a little more on Smellerbee's past! For anyone who thinks she's way too mature for a seven year old, just remember the Duke, who is about the same age. Plus, she has had to grow up a lot in the past few months, much more than a normal kid. Also, while I do know several 'younger' seven year olds, I also know quite a few who are very mature for their age. And for people who think there is no way a seven year old would be sent out on a special mission by herself, just remember that is Jet, and this is the Freedom Fighters.

Anyway, this chapter is kind of sort. Sorry 'bout that. But there is a lot of intense stuff here, lots of things that Smellerbee is going through and has to figure out. This here is basically the start of how she comes to hate the Fire Nation so much. And also the start of something a bit more troubling...