I wanted this up around Valentines Day but that was a fail. It took so long because I was so back and forth with the ending. I did not know if I wanted to switch to a Blair POV, if I wanted Chuck to go back to London, if they makeup should be in New York or in London, if I wanted this to only be conversations with them or add Louis. This could have been done half a dozen ways in my head and frankly, I am not entirely sure that this fits the mood of the first two chapters. This chapter is a lot more cheerful than the first two and I am wondering if it does not flow.
There is something about New York City that I adore writing about. The city to me is unnamed cast member in GG. Enjoy.
Disclaimer: I do not own GG.
My head was plastered to the glass. Filled with anger and annoyance I wanted to get far far away from this city. Being in the same city as her is making my heartbeat thump with so much need that it was consuming me. It was pouring. The rain was hard, and fast the wind blowing it everywhere. I saw lighting striking the here and there. Even though I could not here it through the soundproofing according to my pilot there was a seriously thunder occurring. According to him, I would have to wait until midnight to take off. Hating sleeping in airplanes, I pushed the flight back to seven am. So I was stuck in New York City the last place I wanted to be. Even in this rain, all I saw beyond the glass was her. She haunted me. Here in the Empire she was everywhere. Every moment, every minute spent here I was forcing myself not to find my way to her apartment so I was refraining from getting too drunk. It may not be physically possible but my body did not care for physics for I was here struggling against every cell in my body to stay put.
Eric's graduation was today and there was a small gathering afterwards. Serena warned me that Blair was going to be there but I was not prepared to see her with him. I could not take my eyes off her. I watched her closely and it was clear why Serena and Nathaniel came to me. She was not herself. Her smile was weak and her presence in a room seemed small next to her finance. She never left his arm so we did not speak more than a few pleasantries when I was introduced to Prince Louis. However, we both watched each other from time to time our eyes connecting. She owned me with her gaze. The want on her face was clear. I think she knew that since she never tried to distance herself from Louis to seek me out. Rather he was her armor from me taking her in a spare bedroom. The placement of his hand on her back, when he tucked a hair behind her ear, when he kissed her embroiled me with anger. It was an emotion that I have not felt in so long and I was unable to conceal it so much so that Eric approached me only an hour into the gathering and released me from being there. Nevertheless, I could not leave, not when I finally felt my heart beat again. It was the first taste of a rich pudding; one bite could not be enough. So I watched with anger and in awe of her.
Arranging the soonest flight out after a meeting with Bass Industries to arrange my return after the wedding I was anxious to go to back to London. However, the rain, my only ally in London, had now failed me in my former home. I had no desire to go into the rain to for my feelings were already on high alert. Taking a sip of my scotch, I looked out the window of the Empire. I only returned to this building for some atonement. Yet, I found nothing but disgust with myself looking back at the man that I was once was. All I found was a man that would trade his love, his live, his breath, for his own greed, and misguided legacy.
There was a bing that broke the silence of the room. Instantly I stood taller knowing that only certain people had access to this elevator. Maybe it could be Nate and Serena again but I hope against hope that it would be Blair. I turned to watch the elevator open up to reveal Blair. She was soaked to the bone, her clothes molded to her body, and her hair plastered to her face but she was beautiful. There was a fire in her eyes and a glow to her face. She quickly walked up to me and suddenly I was being pushed back.
"You Basshole," she pushed me again. "How could you." Push. "You left." Push. "You left. You left me." Push. "I hate you. I hate you." Push. I was backed up against the wall. She began to bang on my chest as continued to yell at me. "I hate you Chuck Bass. You made me love you and it won't stop. I can't stop. You left me and never came back. I thought you were dead or hurt." She was crying now and her hits were weak but her words were hitting me harder than any physical violence. "You left me. I am not Blair Waldorf without you," were the last words I could understand before she began sobbing. I grabbed her and held her as if she was my life because well she was. Letting my head fall into her hair I repeatedly told her I was sorry.
"Blair, I am sorry…. Forgive me… I love you, always," I told her among other things as I let tears fall from my eyes.
The moment her tears stopped the change in my body was instant. My hurt flew into lust as I grabbed her turned so she was against the wall. She looked at me in surprise her mouth slightly opened and I dove right in. My lips were everywhere as I tried to kiss every part of her lips, her mouth, her forehead, her eyes, her cheeks, and her jaw. I kissed every each of her face. As I made my way down to her jaw, my rapid frenzy was slowed and I kissed her neck. I sucked on her neck slowly and listened her moans as she hoisted herself off the floor as she grabbed on my shoulders before quickly wrapping her legs around me. I was soaked from her wet clothes but I barely noticed. I pulled her shirt yanking it from her skirt lifting it overheard leaving her in her lace purple bra. Pausing I looked at her panting, wet, her neck red and mark, her eyes red from her tears. There she stood my savior, the light in my life.
"You sure?" I asked her. She nodded her head. Slowly, to allow her time to stop me, I leaned back in to kiss her lips savoring the moment before grabbed her backside in my palms to carry to the bedroom. I wanted this to be clear to her; I fully intended to make love to her. Sweet torturous love to show her that I belonged to her and she belonged to me.
Running my hands through my hair pushing it back from the sweat that was sticking to my forehead I glanced at the clock noting it was past three am. Blair sleepily looking at me with a wide grin but I was wide-awake. I was afraid to sleep because I worried that if I woke up than tomorrow it would all be a dream. I watched as she closed her eyes and drift off into sleep. I was not sure, when I drifted off, I must have watched her for at least twenty minutes. When I woke up to my alarm clock at six I was alone in my room. I called at for her hoping that she was still around but she gone. The only trace of her was in the scent of Chanel No. 5 in the air and sheets. I was dressed at super speed and rushed over to the Waldorf penthouse. I arrived by 6:30 and I even forgot my pocket square.
"Blair," I called out as soon as the elevator door opened. I needed her to know that I wanted her. I needed her.
"Chuck?" Blair questioned as she quickly ran down the steps. Her eyes were wide and frighten at my presence. I looked at her strangely as began to push me back to the elevator.
"You need to go. Right now. Chuck last night was a mistake. Leave," she rattled off.
"Blair, we both know it wasn't. Not with all the way that you were moaning," I smugly told her.
"Chuck. I am engaged, seriously. It was a mistake. You do not understand what happened with Louis and me. I was just hurt because of things you cannot understand," she tried to tell me.
"I know about you guys. I know he can't love you the way I can. Make you smile the way I can or satisfy you the way I can," I tried to get her to see the reason.
"Chuck please, Louis and I we are engaged," her voice was sassy and she was fighting back with me.
"You are only engaged because you got pregnant!" I yelled at her. She flinched and covered her belly as if she was protecting the child that no longer was. Tears welled up into her eyes she staggered back from me.
"You knew," she whispered in the air. I watched as she put the pieces together.
"I knew. Blair I am so sorry you would have been an amazing mother. It would have been an honor to see. Blair, I am," I reached out to her but she pulled back. I let my hands fall to my side and the words died on my lips.
"Louis is sweet and understanding and has been there for me during this time," she confessed. For a moment, I wondered if I lost her, had she fallen in love with him. But my own ego would never allowed me to acknowledged that pit of doubt that was forming. A lesser man would have let it eat him alive not me. I stood my ground.
"Let me be here," I stepped closer to her and she backed away again. "I am here!" my anger got the best of me and I began to doubt the strength of my own ego in the way that only Blair could make me do. But that's what love does. It gives someone the permission to break you into the million pieces with the right words or look. I could only pray she would not.
"But you weren't here, you left. You left for almost a year. And before you… you gave me out to your uncle. And… and you… didn't wait at the top of that building. You wanted to emulate one of my favorite movies and in the movie, he wanted until midnight until the Empire State Building closes. He waits! He waits hours for her and you couldn't wait for an extra one. Then you had the nerve to try to propose to me only, what an hour after that you sleep with someone. Besides the fact that you slept with my archenemy but then you had the audacity to almost propose to me with the scent of another woman on you. The scent of her on you. How dare you. How dare you come here and tell me you love me and that you are sorry when you weren't even here to watch how all of that killed a part of me. How you broke a part of me so that I may never be able to fully trust someone ever again. You betrayed me," she lashed out. My anger was still boiling and I could not help but fire right back.
"Which part of that was you? The part that was able to go ahead and get knocked up and then married?" I bite right back. Silence took over the room and I knew my comment anger. The idea of hurting her also riled me up. Honestly, I was annoyed she was able to move on so easily. She was engaged to be married only a year after I tried to propose. While I was licking my wounds in London she was here with her prince becoming the American Princess.
The elevator was called to the lobby. "It's Louis," she whispered to me and her arms were wrapped around herself. I nodded and I turned my back to her to face the elevator. "You don't get to be mad at me anymore. You don't have the right to" she told me. I heard her step closer to me.
"Loving you makes it my right." She heard she gasp she made at my words before taking a deep breath. I was still turned away from her afraid to see the pain in her face again. I was tired of hurting her.
"And I would always love you but I can't anymore," she told me and I heard her step back from me. The doors opened to reveal her fiancé. He was surprised to see me.
"Chuck, good morning. It is a surprise to see you here so early," he asked and his posture was on edge. I felt his annoyance with me so I hoped he felt how annoyed I was.
"I am on my way to London. I just wanted to say a proper goodbye to Blair and offer my congratulations," I lied effortlessly. I was fuming with anger when he put out his hand for me to shake. I wanted to tell him how I had Blair in my bed last night and let him know how loud I her screams were. One look at the fear in Blair face let me know that I should keep my mouth there was no gain in outing her. I hurt her too much in the past and promised myself on multiple occasions that if given the chance I would never hurt her again. I shook his hand and left New York City.
I would like to say that I had matured in my distance and this encounter with Blair would serve as closure. Closure that I so desperately needed. Maybe then, I would not spend hours staring at her picture night after night. I guess that is half-true. The very first night back in London, I did not need the photos. Rather, the reality of the night before played perfectly in my head. As soon as I closed my eyes, it was as if I could taste her, smell her, see her but nothing made out for being able to touch her. There was still a distance, an ocean between us. My heart ached as I sat through meetings and conferences. Everyone and everything reminded me of her. Before the New York incident, I was able to separate my work life and the Blair obsessed portion of my life. I was determined to move past it. Hell she was getting married in a few months. Yea she came to my bed but it seemed like it was for nothing but a walk down memory lane.
It was only a few days in London before we had a day with shattered showers. The rainfall was random but the clouds were constant. I was looking out from my office that had glass-to-glass windows on two walls. I informed my secretary to cancel my limo for the evening because I wanted to walk home. I figured that the walk home would help the confusion I was feeling regarding Blair. Really, it was not so much intense confusion as it was intense emotion. I was drunk and was high after losing Blair each time in the past. I spent most of my heartbreak in a state that I could barely remember. The feeling of lost now after tasting heaven for a night was an acute. Rather than drink it away I made a decision to face it. I thought of Anne and how she was keeping sober and how close I was dying before I met her. I could not do that again. Not now. I needed to be strong and be the man that Blair could love. That she did love even if only from afar.
Walking home, I was caught in a rainstorm in the middle of my route home. I slowed to feel it against my skin. My hair was quickly getting drenched but still I walked slow hoping to find some sort of revelation. I found none. Nothing came to me and I realized that I was just caught in the rain. Blair was marrying another man. I was caught in the rain in the middle of London. All I wanted was to hold Blair close to me and smell the Chanel No. 5 come off her skin. I was caught in the rain in the middle of London and Blair was in New York City. The rain was washing away the scent of the Chanel No. 5 I sprayed on my ascot. I was stuck in the rain in the middle of London and Blair was in New York City, and I was coming for her.
It took me all of an hour to call my driver, my pilot, and to pack my own suitcase for the first time in my life. I changed out my wet clothes and changed into a sweat suit. I was also the first time I left an apartment without a tie or bow-tie sober or going to the gym. I figured I was going to shower and change in the jet. I just needed to get to New York as soon as possible. I was traveling back in time so leaving London at 7 pm the ten-hour flight had in New York at 6 am, which meant sleeping in the plane. Inter flight after ensuring with my assistant that a car would greet me at the airport I was sent a news alert. It was about five o'clock in New York and the news was breaking that royal wedding was no more. The wedding was off and I was stuck on a plane. I debated calling her and asking why she ended things with him. Why didn't she end things with him when I all but begged her? But I knew it was a conversation I needed to have in person with her so I refrained from calling.
The sun was rising as we entered the New York City air space. By the time, we touched down in Teterboro Airport the glow was emerging behind the New York City skyline. It was breathtaking and it was home. It was the sunrise that I watched when I made my way home many drunken nights, that greeted Blair and I as we celebrated into the night the first day I told her I loved her, that I waited for on 9/11 when I was too afraid to sleep, that awoken Blair and I on stakeouts, that was always there. It was calling me to a new day. As we drove towards the city, I alerted my driver to stop for bagels. They were fresh and warm in a way that was only possible in New York City. I was close to seven when I arrived at the Blair penthouse with bagels in hand. When I arrived at the penthouse and made my way with sunglasses and a hat through the pack of reporters outside. Even though I had a ten-hour flight to dwell on it, I was still unsure what I was going to say. But the elevator opened faster than I ever expected. I was in the Waldorf foyer being announced by Dorota before I could get my wits about me.
"Chuck?" Blair asked as she walked down the stairs in a white satin robe. Her hair and makeup looked done with alerted me to the fact that she was probably getting ready for her day. I noticed the cast on her hand was gone along with the ring.
"I just got in and I needed to see you. I brought food," I told her unable to stop my smile from spreading on my face. I put the bag on the table not breaking the gaze we shared.
"Did you just come here because the news. You think I am just going to run back to you now?" she asked. Her feisty snotty mood was enticing.
"I was in the air flying back when the news broke. I was going to tell you…" I words trailed off as I watched her walking closer.
"What…tell me what?" she smirked. I stepped closer to her smelling the freshly sprayed Chanel No. 5.
"That I am here to fight for you," the words felt foolish but it was the only rationalization to my sudden traveling. She turned away from me but the smile was clearly on her face.
"Did you sleep?" she asked me concern. I dumbly nodded unable to find the words. "Why did you come today, Chuck?"
"I was in London and I was leaving work I realized that I needed to be here. I could not leave things the way it ended. I am sorry and promise I will spend the rest of my life trying to fix what I did. I know it was wrong. I'll sell the Empire and I will do whatever it takes. Nothing I own means more than having you in my life. " I grabbed her shoulders anchoring her in front of me.
"When did you decide to come back?"
"Around six London time," I told her rubbed circles on her side.
She smiled and moved crossing to me until our bodies were touching. "That's one in New York right? I got my cast removed at 12:30 and as soon as it came off, I knew. I needed to end things with Louis. It is serendipitous," she kissed me suddenly. "I missed you. I love you," she said as she pulled away with a bright smile.
I knew my Blair would take that our similar decisions in different cites an ocean apart to be some romantic fortunate stroke of serendipity. I do not really buy it but if it made her happy to think that fate was pulling us together then that was fine by me. I never thought that today would end up this way. I thought for sure I was going to have to fight her to even see me. But here she was single and in love with me. Inevitable we are but maybe she was right maybe we are also fated. Finally, when we pulled away I had her face in the palm of her hands. I kissed every inch of her face making her giggling.
"I looked at pictures of you at night almost every night for eight months. I pretended you were still mine. I missed you every day for a year. I am sorry that I left. I thought you wanted me to. I thought I was being a good man or something." I confessed to her in our quiet moment. I never planned to tell her but I needed her to know that I never stopped looking for her everywhere I went.
"Stupid, I was always yours," she whispered with a smiled as she pulled me in to short kiss. "I looked at photos and videos of us time to time, too," she told me never letting me out of her grasp.
"I should point out that our pictures having sex are lacking. I think we should work on that," I smirked at her and she bit my neck in response playfully.
"Mmmm kitten that is a yes, right," I asked before picking her up and her to the stairs. I silenced her laugh with a kiss.
It was not until we were back in her bedroom undressing did I notice the tears. I asked her what was wrong before kissing her tears away. "You came back to me," she kissed me. "You came home."
"We are inevitable."
So done and in a very corny way. But cute no? I am realistic with a pinch of hopeless romantic but this was just a lot hopelessness for me. I wanted them to have that year apart to grow and mature because their love was tearing themselves apart from season 3-4 so rather than have that in my fic-world I had them grow apart from each other. Love was never the issue everything else was with these two. There is still a lot they have to work on but I thought I gave Blair a moment to release her anger and to disrupt Chuck's depressed cycle. I wanted Blair to make the choice to leave Louis separate from Chuck, which his trip to London allowed. The idea that they both came to the same conclusion that they wanted to be with each other at the same time miles apart warms my heart a bit. Practically I did not want Chuck only to run back because she was single but I wanted her to be single at the end so the flight time allowed from that. Fingers crossed the time changes were right.
Review and let me know whatcha think. I am currently working on my longer fic Dangerous Affections so check that out if you want.