Black Cat, White Dog

Chapter 2: I Can't Tell My Senpai About My Problems

By: ScribblingBear

Because Adam was in his final year, we didn't share any classes. He did give me a "goodbye" before leaving for his homeroom, though. I found myself wondering if he'd be okay making a sudden switch from American to Japanese schools, but there was also a risk of me making a fool of myself if I were to ask since I didn't really know what American schools were like. There was also the fact that, up until I saw him today, I assumed he was the same age as Mihng and Yatsuhashi. Regardless, I had myself to worry about too, so I made my way to my homeroom.

From the moment homeroom started, things were awkward for me. Classes went on, students talked, and events progressed as if nothing had even happened that night. Despite the time that had gone by, Kyousuke and Kirino were still on my mind. I had hoped that not seeing them for such an amount of time would take my mind off of them, but it didn't. At least, not until it came time for lunch.

Most students left with friends, went up to the roof, or to the cafeteria to eat, which usually left me alone in the classroom. I woke up a little later than I would have liked to this morning, so I had to make due with leftovers from last night for my lunch. I was about to take the first bite of my food when the desk in front of mine was pushed against it and the chair moved to seat the man that had just walked in.

"Do you always eat alone, Gokou-san?" Adam adjusted his glasses and smiled at me. "Do you mind if I join you?"

I simply looked away. "I do not, but why are you here?"

The American rubbed the back of his head as he set his lunch box on the desk. "Well, I remember you saying when we first met that you didn't have a lot of friends. Since this is still kind of a new school for you, I was afraid that might be the case, so I came here to have lunch with you just to be sure you weren't alone."

Without a word, I slipped a scoop of curry in my mouth. For some reason, I couldn't look him in the eye, so I kept my gaze on my food. "Why do you care?"

He put a fist against his chest with obvious pride. "A warrior of sunlight would never leave a friend alone. We may have only just met a few days ago, but I've known you for three years, Gokou-san."

His response brought a small smile to my face. It was a bit refreshing to know that all of his talk about being one with the light and such wasn't just something he did online. "And what would an emissary of light want with a denizen of darkness?"

Adam picked up a friend shrimp and dropped it in his mouth. Were I the easily excited type, I would have blurted out "nice catch!" or something. Once he finished with it, he started chuckling.

"Didn't you hear me? Light or dark doesn't matter; it'd be rude not to check up on a friend when I can. That being said, how are you doing?"

"I can say I've been better. The pain is... beginning to subside. Things that once stung me no longer do, at least not as deeply. Some things, at any rate."

Another round of shrimp preceded his response. "Is there anything I can do for you?"

"Don't coddle me, for one. I appreciate what you've done and are doing, but I most certainly don't need anyone treating me like I can't handle this. Yes, this situation is unfamiliar, but I am no child."

Now I was able to look up at him. I thought that I might have offended him or frightened him by taking a more aggressive tone than I realized, but he was still smiling.

"Right, my bad. Yeah, I know you can handle this yourself, I'm just trying to hammer it in that you don't need to. You can be stubborn, Gokou-san, and you know I'm right."

I felt my face heating up just a bit. Adam and I had gotten into our fair share of arguments about one thing or another online, so he did know how stubborn I could be. Of course, I was extremely tempted to call him out on his own hardheadedness as well.

"You've had your share of stubborn moments, as well. If we keep going down this road, you may even prove my point."

He lifted his hand, raised a finger, and opened his mouth, but then immediately put his hand down. "Ah crap, you got me. If I were to even say you're wrong, I'd be proving you right."

"See?" After eating a bit more, I decided to keep going. "Regardless, a few more days without seeing those two and I know I'll be fine."

He tilted his head. "Those two?"

I nearly choked on the curry I was eating after remembering that I only told Mihng about my situation. "Oh, nothing, nothing! Please, forget you heard that." Suddenly, an idea popped into my head and, at the time, I thought it was genius. "My cats! Yes, my two cats died recently. That's what's gotten me so torn up. I... really loved them."

He looked down at the rice balls in his box, moving them around but not picking them up. "I see. I understand how hard it can be to lose beloved pets. I'm sorry."

"You needn't apologize. There's nothing you could have done." Now I was desperate for a change of subject. Carrying on with this would only get more difficult as time went on. Eventually, I pointed down to his lunchbox since it was the only thing standing out. "So, did you make that yourself?"

After taking a chunk out of one of his rice balls, he nodded. "Indeed I did! Out of the three of us, I'm the designated cook, Mihng won't let anyone else do the cleaning, and Yatsu does all the driving."

"I see. You three must be close."

He gave another nod and finished off the food in his hand. "We met about eight years ago. I liked to play my guitar on the street for fun, and it got to the point where crowds would come to listen. Apparently Mihng and Yatsu had been listening too, and one day they just brought their instruments and joined. It was instant chemistry, and we started talking. After that, we were hardly ever separated."

I let out a quiet sigh and ate as he talked. Again, I found myself looking down at my food so he wouldn't see my face. My expression probably gave away the light jealousy I was filled with by listening to him.

"It must be quite nice, having such good friends to rely on."

"You say that like you don't know how that feels."

His response made me pause and look up at him. "Do you mean Makishima? She's a friend, but I wouldn't say I'm as close to her as you are with your friends."

Adam shook his head and offered me a piece of shrimp, which I declined. "So do I not count? I'd say three years of interaction, online or not, makes us pretty close. Do you not agree?"

"I suppose. However, as it stands, I'm still a little unsure about how I feel speaking to you without monitors and oceans between us. I mean, it's wonderful, but it will take some getting used to."

He gave a nod and leaned back in his chair. It really puzzled me how he could stay so relaxed since I had expected him to be feeling the same way I did. "I can see how you'd feel that way, but if you ask me, that's just an excuse for us to hang out more."

I'm sure my face was just a little red from that comment, but I shook myself back to normal quickly. "I'm sorry, but I probably have too much going on to devote a lot of time to other people. Maybe in a few weeks." I don't know why I couldn't be honest with him; it would've been a lot easier just to say "Yes, let all of us get together every day" but it felt more natural to decline him.

"Are you sure? Maybe we could help! I just... I feel bad leaving you to deal with things on your own."

Before I realized it, my lunch box was empty. I set it aside, put my elbows on my desk, and rested my chin in my hands. "Why? You hardly actually know me."

"Ouch. That's cold, Gokou-san." Adam adjust his glasses and turned towards the window to his right. "Look, I know you well enough to know that you're strong. I'm sure you could deal with this all on your own. I mean yeah, pets die all the time. Grieve and move on. But I want to make sure it's as easy for you as possible. Why, you ask? Because I want to. Because I care. Makishima-san cares. Yatsu and Mihng care. Your two sisters care. That one guy you couldn't stop talking about over the summer cares. Say... did something happen with that? You used to come online every day with something to say about him, then just stopped."

A chill ran up my spine when he said that, and I felt the sudden urge to cry. Unfortunately, I was already in too deep, so my first reaction was to just keep digging the hole. "No, everything's fine. I just... didn't want to bother you with any more of that, is all."

When I looked up again, I noticed Adam writing on a small notepad. Once he was done, he ripped the paper off and set it in his lunch. "You weren't bothering me! I was really happy for you. The way you talked about him made him seem like such a great guy, and I was glad you had found someone like him."

Now I was forced to fake a small smile as if I was recalling happy memories. Anyone who actually knew what happened would have easily guessed that this topic only brought that dreadful night into my head.

"Yes. He's... great. I was sad that I had to transfer out of his school."

"Yeah, well–"

Suddenly, the bell started ringing. Cut off, Adam stood up, set his lunchbox on my desk, and moved the seat to its original position. "I'll see you later, Gokou-san."

Senpai walked off without his lunch, so I made a move to return it. Well, I was going to until I read what he had written on that paper.

"You didn't have that much to eat. I better have an empty box returned to me after school."

In his lunchbox there was still one rice ball and two pieces of fried shrimp. As guilty as it made me feel, I did eat everything before setting his box with my own and preparing for the rest of my classes.

Lunch was really the only thing out of the ordinary for that day. Once the bell had run and my things were gathered, I made my way out of the school building. I heard some chatter beside me getting louder, looked over, and saw Adam walking with two guys and another girl. I know he spotted me, but I quickened my pace to avoid another public encounter. The last thing I wanted was for people to start spreading rumors that we were dating, because these events were a mirror of what had went on when I started going to Kyousuke's school. However, there was one thing I forgot about that stopped me in my tracks.

"Good evening, Gokou-san!" The woman waved at me from beside the open gates. Truth be told, I was actually quite happy to see Mihng, since she knew my real problem.

Once I reached her, I gave a polite bow. "Good even, Fey-san."

Mihng crossed her arms and shook her head. "No, you call me Mihng. I don't care if you add 'san' to the end, but I'm your friend, and you'll address me as such."

Her reaction caught me off guard, but I couldn't exactly argue. Mihng had this kind of... commanding presence about her that made me feel compelled to do as she said. It wasn't in a forceful way, but more in a "this person deserves my respect" way.

"Very well, Mihng-san. How was your day?"

She gave me a bright smile. "It was lovely! How was school."

"The same as usual."

After a sigh, she turned her brows up a little. "I see, what about your–" She paused for a moment. When I looked at her, I saw she was looking past me, so I turned to see Adam waving off the three students he was talking to.

Mihng lowered her voice to a whisper. "How are the post breakup feels treating you?"

I closed my eyes as I turned back to her. "I feel slightly better, but still awful. Adam thinks it's my cats dying that has me feeling down as well. Please... please play along if he brings it up."

Her smile faded into a small frown as she brought her voice up to a normal tone. "I understand, but I hope you know I'm not happy with you doing that."

"Of course not. I apologize."

"Hey Mihng! Didn't expect to see you here."

I spun around saw that Adam had slipped up right next to me. Immediately, I began worrying that he might've overheard us. My thoughts were quickly interrupted by the other woman, though.

"Well I said I'd be here. At least I know I told Gokou-san."

He put his hands together with a wide grin. "Awesome! Since we're all here, we can walk home together."

As soon as I heard that, I tried to slip past Mihng and make my way towards my house. "Oh, that's not necessary. I'd much rather walk alone, honestly."

"Don't be silly!" Hearing them speak in unison like that was a bit jarring.

"Our place isn't too far from yours, and it's right this way, too. It works out." Adam and Mihng both started that sentence, but only Adam finished, which made hearing them speak together a little less strange.

They each got on one side of me and began to walk, but Mihng was a bit faster than Adam or myself. I suppose she was trying to keep me from feeling cramped. Looking at Adam felt odd, as well. I was very used to boys being much taller than me, but he was only about seven or eight centimeters above me.

Adam began shuffling around his schoolbag, brought his white, dog ear hat out, and slipped it on his head. Seeing that reminded me of something, and I immediately rummaged around my own things for his lunchbox.

"Here. Um... thank you for the food. It was very good."

He took the box and set it in his back before slinging the whole thing over his shoulder. "I'm just glad you ate it. You really didn't have a lot to eat when I went to see you."

"Aaaw, you went to visit Gokou-san at lunch? That was sweet of you." Mihng was holding her hands together against her cheek. Listening and looking at her was like dealing with a mother gushing over her child's first crush.

"Don't get any ideas, Mihng. I was trying to be nice and keep her from being alone."

All I could do was change my focus between the two of them during this exchange. Anything I said would probably backfire horrendously.

Mihng gave me a pat on the back with one eye closed. "He's been talking about you all the time. 'You think she's okay?' 'I wonder what Gokou-san's up to right now?' 'Maybe we should do something for her.' and stuff like that."

Adam jumped up and began waving his hands. "Hey, you don't have to tell her all that! Come on, give me a break."

Mihng started laughing while Adam groaned. I, however, let curiosity get the better of me and tugged his sleeve.

"Were you really saying those things?"

He paused for a moment before pointing forward. Once we began walking again, he actually answered me. "I guess I was. Gokou-san, I'm not sure if I've gotten this through to you yet, but face to face or through a pair of monitors, you've been a treasured friend for three years. I don't intend to treat you any differently from how I behaved online."

The man put a fist to his chest and wore a proud grin. "Even the darkest of souls need a little bit of light."

I closed my eyes and turned to face forward. Truth be told, Adam was entertaining me quite a bit. "I appreciate that, Shir–" catching myself, I put an effort into trying to change my speaking. "Adam. Thank you."

Our walk continued in silence for a few minutes. Finally, Adam let out a yawn and tapped my shoulder. "Say, do you think holding a little service might help?"

I just tilted my head. "What do you mean?"

"For the cats. Like a funeral of sorts. Yeah, they're cats, but pets are part of the family too, you know."

Mihng gave a nod. "Something like that would be a great opportunity to let it all out and grieve. I can imagine you have to kind of act like nothing's wrong outside of home, don't you?"

"I suppose you're both right. I'll think about it."

"Oh, here we are." The man pointed to the house coming up on our right. It was slightly more embellished than the typical homes in this neighborhood, but it wasn't to the point where it stood out. It actually looked like a nicer version of my own home, save for the fact that the door was on the right side of the house rather than the left.

Before anyone could say anything, Mihng gave her friend a gentle shove towards the house. "Sweet! Go ahead inside, Adam, I'm gonna walk with Gokou-san some more!"

Immediately, I turned to her. "There's no need for that. Please, I assure you, I'm fine."

All she did was laugh, put an arm around me, and pull me close. "Girl talk and stuff, you know?"

Adam raised his brow, staring at us. "Are you sure?"

From the angle I was at, I couldn't see Mihng's eyes, but the way Adam stiffened up and his eyes widened told me she was doing something scary. "Go inside, Adam. I will catch up, okay?" Her tone was beyond menacing.

"Yes ma'am! Bye now! See ya later, Gokou-san!" After that, Adam ran towards the door, opened it, and nearly threw himself in the building before closing the door behind him.

A hand was placed on my shoulder so firmly it made me jump. Mihng spoke to me in the same tone she had just spoken to Adam in. "You and I are going to have a nice chat, okay?"

All I could do was nod. "Yes, of course."

It took me a moment to realize she wanted me to start walking, but once I did, her gentle, kind voice came back and caused me to breathe out a sigh of relief.

"Why did you tell him that, Gokou-chan? Now it's going to be even more difficult to tell him the truth."

Being addressed so familiarly felt a bit off putting, but that's not what I was focused on. "Were you expecting me to tell Senpai about what actually happened?"

Mihng put a hand on her face and groaned. "Yes, actually. I can understand if you're a bit nervous about telling them right away, but there's only so much they can do if they don't know the whole story."

After crossing her arms, the older woman placed a finger on her chin. "Then again..."

"What is it?"

"Oh, nothing. Just thinking about some things." She gave me a shrug. "Anyway, the point is that they're your friends. At least, they want to be. Again, I realize it probably won't be easy to talk about a problem like this, but you know you're going to regret it if you don't. Not to mention the fact that friendships are built on trust, and what better way to build in then by opening up to someone?"

"I know, I know." I probably would have been kicking the ground were we not walking. It was a bad habit of mine. "It's worse since I know I've known the man for years, yet seeing him in person makes him feel like a stranger. I feel guilty since he's treating me like an old friend."

"Why is that? I mean, I know Adam's a very friendly guy, but why do you feel that way about him?"

To be honest, it was very difficult to explain, and just thinking about it made me groan. "I'm not exactly sure myself. I suppose the fact that I never thought I'd actually see him face to face is playing a part in this. Looking at him seems almost like a fantasy."

My new friend put her hand in her coat pocket, pulled out a small box of gum, and offered me a piece. After I declined, she tossed it in her own mouth. "I understand what you're saying, but you know this is real. I mean, he's going to school with you now. That's gotta hammer it in, right?"

"You raise a good point, I suppose."

Mihng nodded. "Back to the subject at hand, though. What about your situation makes it difficult to talk about to the guys?"

"I think the better question is 'why was it so easy for me to tell you?', because I know for a fact that this entire situation fills me with great shame and regret. Maybe I'm just too embarrassed to say anything about it."

She gave me a gentle pat on the shoulder. "I understand. I just... I want you to promise me that you'll try to tell them at some point. You know I'll be there to help you, Gokou-chan."

Given what had happened earlier, I was just a bit too afraid to deny the promise. "Of course. Thank you." After a moment, I felt something cold hit my nose and looked up.

Mihng was holding her hand out, then immediately began shuffling around in the bag at her hip. "It's starting to rain. Gokou-chan, take this." She handed me an umbrella and pulled one out for herself. "Always carry two."

I opened it up just in time, as the rain had begun to fall more heavily as soon as I held the umbrella over my head. It didn't really matter much, though. My house was in sight, and Mihng stopped when she read the name on our plaque.

"Oh wow. This is a really nice house!"

Considering the person this was coming from, I had to wonder if she was just saying that. "Thank you." I made my way towards the door before handing the umbrella to Mihng.

She just held her hand up. "Keep it and just give it to Adam tomorrow. Oh, and be careful. It's supposed to get below freezing tonight, so watch where you step tomorrow."

I closed the umbrella and smiled a little. "I will. Thank you for telling me."

She smiled, hugged me, and turned around. "Have a good evening!"

The hug caught me off guard, so it took me a moment to realize she had said something. "Oh, you too."

The night was just like any other. I cooked for my sisters and myself, did some studying, ignored a call from Kyousuke, and went to sleep. Unlike yesterday, I actually woke up on time this morning and managed to make a proper lunch before school. Mihng was right; it was very cold and there were sheets of ice covering the roads and sidewalks. I was carefully watching my steps on the way to school, and suddenly I felt something tap the back of my head.

"Morning, Gokou-san." Adam brought his hand away from my head with a grin. "How are you feeling today?"

Because of my conversation with Mihng yesterday, I was finding it difficult to look him in the eye. "Good morning, Senpai. I'm fine."

We started walking again as he raised his brow. "You sure about that?"

"Positive."

He let out a quiet chuckle. "Mihng didn't give you any problems yesterday, did she? She's sweet, but can be really scary."

I just shook my head. "She just wanted to see me home safely."

"That's good." My senpai began scratching that hairy chin of his. "Say, I remember you telling me about that gaming research club you were a part of in your old school. Does this one have anything like that?"

"Unfortunately, no. I probably wouldn't join it, anyway. The only reasoned I joined the previous one is because someone gave me a push."

I heard another chuckle from Adam before a hand came down on my shoulder. "You say that like you don't have someone to push you now."

I looked up at him for a brief moment before my gaze turned back to the ground. "You wouldn't understand."

"Try me."

Immediately, I was reminded of my promise to Mihng. I had the perfect opportunity to explain my real situation to Adam now, but I found myself unable to speak. My mouth opened, but it was as if the words were being held in my throat by some invisible force. Somehow I managed to make a few noises, but could form no words. Eventually, I started quickening my pace to the point where I was forming a gap between Adam and myself.

"Gokou, wait! What's wrong?"

There was decent distance between the two of us now, but I was still speeding up. It got to the point where I was ready to run, but the ice had another plan.

"Gokou-san! Are you okay?"

Before I even realized what had happened, I opened my eyes to see Adam's face quite close to my own. I felt a bit of pressure against my back and realized he was holding me. Judging from the way my legs were bent, I couldn't have fallen down very far before I was caught.

When Adam saw my eyes open, he breathed a sigh of relief. "Don't scare me like that. I thought you were going to fall and bust your head open."

He helped me straighten up, then handed me my bag. "...Thank you, Senpai."

The man smiled and put his hand on my head. "No need to thank me, alright? As soon as I saw you slip, I just darted forward without thinking. You're alright now, yeah?"

"Yes, I... thank you again."

Once I was on my feet and stable again, Adam and I resumed our walk. He kept his hand on my shoulder, probably to keep me from slipping again, until we were in front of the school gates. My friend took his hat off as we headed for the door. It was kind of cute, now that I was getting a closer look at it.

"You know, Gokou-san, if you really want to thank me, then you'll eat a decent lunch today, alright? I'll be there, so I'll know."

I paused and just stared at him as he turned to face me. After a moment of thought, I tried to smile at him and, at the very least, sound happy.

"I will. I promise."

"Good! Alright then, take care, Gokou-san."

All of a sudden something came over me. I already knew that I was looking forward to seeing him at lunch, but the dark spirits must have been acting upon me and speaking through me. To this day I can't explain why I said what I said.

"Grizzly-senpai!"

He stopped and turned to me. "Yeah?"

"I-If you're not at lunch... I'll place a curse on you! So be there."

I had expected him to laugh, mock me, or at least act like I was some child playing a game, but all he did was smile. When he spoke, I could hear a bit of joking in his voice, but there was also this serious air about him that told me he wasn't saying it in jest.

"It wouldn't do for a warrior of sunlight to become cursed. As if wanting to see you wasn't enough, now I have no choice." Adam turned around and waved to me. "Trust me, Gokou-san, I'll see you at lunch today."

Hearing him actually respond to my curse comment, as well as having confirmation that he didn't plan to leave me alone today brought a genuine smile to my face. For the first time since my transfer, I walked towards the school doors looking forward to the day ahead.