Beverly and Jean Luc did not see each other again until the terrible day he brought her husband's body home. He had accompanied her to the mortuary to see Jack. He had tried to persuade her not to go, tried to tell her that it was better to remember the way he had been in life and not the empty shell that was left. But she had insisted. It was as if without seeing him she could not accept that he was really gone.

Afterwards Jean Luc had taken her home. He had stayed with her and Wesley helping her to explain to the child what had happened to his father and remaining by her side as she made the arrangements for the funeral.

Every evening he took his leave and went back to the cold and sterile quarters at the officer's mess, leaving her alone to grieve. She had asked him to stay and sleep on her sofa but each time he had politely declined. They both knew why. Even with Wesley in the house there was the chance that in their grief they would turn to each other and do something they might later both regret.

The day of the funeral came. Beverly endured it bravely. Stood among Starfleet's finest officers, holding tightly onto Wesley's hand, she said goodbye to her husband. Afterwards Jean Luc slipped away unable to control his guilt and his grief any longer or witness the pain and suffering he felt he had caused. He went for a long walk and then returned to his quarters where he planned to drink himself into a dull stupor so that he could sleep. He would return to his ship tomorrow and leave Earth as soon as possible on a long mission into deep space, where he would try not to think about the woman he loved but knew he could never have.

He was sitting drinking when there was a quiet knock on his door. He didn't get up to answer. He wanted to be left alone. However the person on the other side was insistent, knocking again and again, until finally he gave in and opened the door.

There she was, still in the dress she had worn to the funeral, standing nervously in the corridor. He stood aside and let her pass. As he closed the door and turned to her she looked at the bottle in his hand and said,

"I hope you have a glass."

He shook his head and replied "Sorry, my quarters are rather spartan I'm afraid"

"Never mind, just give me the bottle."

He passed it to her and lifting it she took a swig. The liquid burned as she swallowed and she closed her eyes and winced before taking another mouthful and passing the bottle back to him.

He walked past her then and sat down on the sofa, the bottle between his legs. He leaned back and putting his head against the sofa he closed his eyes.

Beverly took off her jacket and put it on the back of the chair and sat down beside him. She put her head against his shoulder and sighed.

"Where were you afterwards? I couldn't find you."

"I'm sorry Beverly, I couldn't face it. I went for a walk."

There was silence then.

Jean Luc took another swig from the bottle and offered it to her. She sat up and shook her head. She bent down to remove her shoes and then turning to him she said,

"Will you hold me Jean Luc, just hold me."

He quietly nodded and held out is arm and she snuggled up against him with her knees tucked in against his thighs and her head on his shoulder. He felt as she relaxed against him. Her breathing slowed and he realised she had gone to sleep.

Later she awoke to find herself lying on the sofa covered in a blanket. In the dimly lit room she could see him sitting in the chair reading, a cup of coffee on the table beside him. As she sat up he looked across at her and smiled.

"Hey there sleepy head" he said "don't get up to quickly. You've been asleep awhile"

"How long?" she asked.

"Oh a few hours, it's nearly 1."

A panicked look crossed her face.

"Wesley," she said trying to stand "I have to get back."

He stood up then and crossed to her quickly and putting his hands on her shoulders he said,

"Wesley is fine. I spoke to Walker at the house, he asked Jack's parents to keep him overnight. I guess he knew that you would need some time when you didn't return from your walk."

She closed her eyes then and breathing a sigh of relief sat back down and he saw her shoulders begin to shake and for the first time since he had brought Jack's body home he saw her cry.

He sat down next to her and putting his arm around her he held her close. Turning to him she held him tightly as she sobbed.

He stroked her back and murmured her name and gradually the sobbing began to stop and her breathing to slow. He lifted her head and pushing the hair out of her face he stroked her cheeks to dry the tears.

"Beverly," he whispered "my love."

She opened her eyes then and looked at him and with that he leaned in and kissed her. She didn't stop him. Her arms encircled his neck and she leaned into him opening her mouth to allow his tongue to meet hers. Without stopping they stood up and then parting briefly he bent slightly and picked her up and carried her to the bed.

He set her down and she pulled him closer and whispered,

"Say it again Jean Luc."

He looked deeply into her eyes and said "My love, my heart, my desire," and taking her in his arms he kissed her again.

Her hands moved to the zip at the side of her dress and she undid it. He pushed the sleeves down her shoulders and the dress fell to the floor in a pool at her feet. Her hands were already at his waist deftly unfastening the clasp and pushing his pants down his hips. As he stepped out of them she pulled him towards her pushing her hips against him and moving her hand between them to stroke him.

He undid her bra to free her breasts and bent to take her nipple in his mouth swirling his tongue around it and squeezing the other breast in his hand. She leaned back a little and moved her hand to the back of his head to hold him closer. Her other hand began to push down her underpants and once she was free she lifted her leg to rest against the side of the bed. He moved his hand down from her breast to touch her, feeling gently for her nub, he moved his fingers expertly. He felt as she shuddered against him in anticipation and letting go of her breast he lowered her to the bed. He removed his shirt and paused to look at her. She smiled and leaned back to watch him, propped up on her elbows as he knelt before her and took her in his mouth, licking and sucking and probing with his tongue. He felt as she lifted one leg and laid it across his back and when he glanced up he saw that her eyes were closed and she was lost in the sensations he was creating in her body.

As he slid first one and then two fingers inside her he felt her begin to rock against him and he moved back up her body, first to kiss her breasts and then finally her mouth, all the time moving his fingers in and out until he knew she was on the very brink. Then he whispered,

"Open your eyes Beverly. Open your eyes and look at me."

She opened them and gently he slipped inside her. She closed around him and he rolled them onto their sides. They were still for a moment. Then foreheads touching and eyes open, looking at each other, they began to move in unison. Each one in time with the others rhythm they spiralled up towards oblivion as first she climaxed and he quickly followed.

He collapsed against her then and she held him to her as he sobbed. He cried for his dead friend, for Beverly and for her son but most of all for himself. He fell asleep and when he awoke later she was gone. On the pillow was a note, it read

"Thank you Jean Luc, for last night. It was wonderful, you were wonderful. Don't come by the house again before you leave. I need time work out what I feel for you and time to grieve for Jack who I loved very much. When I'm ready I will come to you, where ever you are. Beverly"

He sighed and folded up the note slipping it inside his book on the bedside table. Getting up he began to pack his things to return to The Stargazer. It would be ten years until he heard from or saw Beverly again.