Beverly had a lot of time to think while she was sitting in the cave. The Ansata needed her skills as a doctor and she had been dealing with their sick and dying for several days. But the nights were long and she was alone. In the dark she lay and thought about her son and her friends and the life she had on board The Enterprise, but mostly she thought about him. She regretted the things she had left unsaid.
When she had first accepted the commission on The Enterprise she'd had no expectations that they would simply pick up where they had left off. She had never regretted what had happened between them that night but she had a feeling that Jean Luc probably did. Her fears were confirmed at their first meeting on the Bridge. He had seemed shocked to see her even though he must have known that she was on board. They had not had any contact for ten years and it took a while for them to renew their friendship.
Beverly wondered if he remembered the note she had left him.
"When I am ready I will come to you, where ever you are."
It was clear right from the start that the old attraction was still there and yet nothing she did seemed to break through the wall that he had built around himself. She had given it a year and then convinced that he no longer wanted her she had accepted an offer at Starfleet Medical.
It had been an enjoyable year. She loved the work and she liked the stability of life on Earth but she missed her son and her friends on board The Enterprise. Most of all she missed him. When the chance had come to return she had grabbed it with both hands and accepted that whatever role she had to play in Jean Luc's life it was enough just to be near him. So she had come back and they had renewed their relationship which was somehow more than friendship and yet less than lovers.
Stuck down here in this cave though she had begun to regret the many things she had left unsaid. If she was going to die he at least deserved to know how she felt about him.
Beverly had loved her husband very much and she had mourned his passing deeply. If it had not been for Wesley she would never have made it through the other side. However she was in no doubt that she also loved Jean Luc Picard and that she had loved him before her husband died. She was convinced that her almost inconsolable grief after Jack's death was somehow linked to the guilt she had felt about her feelings for his commanding officer. After ten years and much soul searching she had finally emerged and put the grief and guilt behind her. She was ready to start again. It had been clear the first time she had met Jean Luc again on The Enterprise that he had not come terms with either his grief or his guilt. If she was going to die on this planet then she wanted him to know that she did not and had never held him responsible for Jack's death. She also wanted to finally tell him that she loved him and that she had never regretted the one night that they had spent together in each other's arms.
Down here in the dark of the cave she was convinced that she would never have that chance.
The following day, although in reality she had no idea whether it was day or night, she completed her round of the sick and dying. She was trying very hard to control her emotions and not give into the terror she felt. An hour or so before she had begged Finn not to destroy The Enterprise not least because her son was on board. She had even gone so far as to offer herself to him and not just as a doctor to treat the sick and wounded, but as whatever he wanted. She knew he desired her. He had been watching her closely for the past few days and the sketches that she had seen confirmed that he was developing some feelings for her. She would have done anything in that moment to save her son and Jean Luc. He had walked away from her though saying that it was too late to stop the attack.
She was shaken out of her despair as she rounded the corner and saw him sitting on the bed in the cave, his hands and feet bound. She stopped and stared at him and her heart flipped a little. He was alive and he was here and though they were far from safe it was enough.
"Jean Luc" she finally whispered.
"Beverly" he replied with relief in his eyes.
"You're alive. They didn't destroy the ship?"
"No but they left several wounded and dead on the Bridge"
"Was Wesley on the Bridge?"
"He was, but Worf shielded him. He was alright when I last saw him."
He saw the relief in her eyes as she moved towards him.
"Are you injured?" she asked beginning to check him over.
"No, just a few bruises. What about you? Have they hurt you?"
"I'm fine. They needed a doctor."
She sat down beside him.
He lectured her then. He reprimanded her for disobeying orders, he argued with her that she should not see the Ansata as anything more than terrorists, he pointed out that they had tried to kill her son. When Finn walked in they were arguing.
Later she would remember that she had tried to tell Jean Luc how she felt about him but they were interrupted by their rescuers. Once back on board The Enterprise it seemed that the moment had past and they resumed their dance around each other.
One afternoon out of the blue he walked into her office and asked her to dinner. They often met for dinner but it was usually in Ten Forward. This time he took her by surprise and said,
"Would you mind if we ate in my quarters?"
Beverly wondered what Jean Luc was planning as she dressed that evening. As she set off for his quarters there were butterflies in her stomach. She had to stop several times on the way to calm herself.
"For heaven's sake Beverly," she said to herself as she entered the turbo lift "it's just dinner with Jean Luc, get a grip of yourself."
By the time she reached his quarters she had just about managed to regain control. Then the door opened and he stood there in an olive shirt and black pants that hugged his body in all the right places and she was undone. When he smiled at her and said her name she felt weak at the knees.