Authors note: I might not post that much, probably once in the next week, I have to revise – so I don't fail.
"Tris, stay with me tonight?' he says pleadingly. Even though I am tired, and I should be helping the initiates get back to base, I agree. The thought of being alone with him, even now, makes my skin tingle with excitement.
"Where do you want to go?" I ask.
"It's a surprise." He says sweetly.
"Okay."
We begin walking to the trains, the initiates must have gone by now, judging by the silence that fills the air. We both steal occasional glances at each other.
The train arrives quickly, we run side by side, until we have to separate to get on the train. He lets me go first, but its dark and I can barely see. I jump quickly. I miscalculated my jump, my body is half dangling from the carriage, getting closer to the floor every second. Tobias jumps, lands perfectly, and scrambles toward me. My foot scrapes of platform, I wince as the throbbing become stronger. I prepare myself for the next foot to drag against the concrete, but it never touches it. Tobias grabs my back forcefully, he is strong enough now to lift my body from the edge to the middle of the train. He saved me.
"Thank you, Tobias." I say and I mean it. He sits on the ground and motions for me to come over, to sit with him. I sit on the opposite side to him, so I can see his face. His leg is a few centimetres away.
"How's your foot?" he asks concerned. To be honest, it stings a bit but I am used to pain, so I barely notice it anymore. My right shoe is in tatters, shredded into small frayed pieces that go in different directions.
"I've been worse." I say. He nods back in agreement. My foot being grazed is nothing compared to our passed injuries.
"I know, we both have." He replies solemnly. "It doesn't mean that your foot doesn't sting though."
"Shall we look at the damage?" he asks.
"Sure why not!" I say giving him permission.
He takes off what's left of my shoe and slowly takes off my sock. He is so gentle. My toes are slightly disfigured at the tips, above my nail. There is a huge graze on the balls of my feet, that stings a little in the breeze. All of it is stained with thick, all most brown blood. Tobias starts cleaning my foot with some tissues, while I stare out into the distance, looking at the occasional star that lights up the dull black sky.
I glance back at my feet, and laugh loudly. Tobias looks at me strangely, to be honest, he is right to do so. Who chuckles at their own feet? I can't stop laughing, Tobias beings to laugh too. I am now completely relaxed, it's like all the hate has just dissolved.
After a few minutes of giggles, Tobias is sick of it, he usually sees me angry or upset. My foot is now mostly clean, thanks to Tobias.
"I am going to have to make you stop looking at your feet," he says playfully. "Pass me the sock?" I pass it him. He quickly, but carefully, puts my sock back on. I gradually decrease my laugh. He moves, so he is now sitting beside me.
"It's strange to see you that happy." Tobias says. He puts his hand gently on my neck. He kisses me passionately, and I kiss him back.
"Tris?"
"Yeah?"
"What happened to Chloe?" he ask curiously. I don't want to tell him, I feel foolish about showing everyone my weak spot, Tobias. They now know my pressure point.
"She got paintballed by two boys, on your team. I shot them back." I respond casually, slouching on the hard, metal wall of the carriage.
"Tris. I mean what happened to her face. She has a broken nose and she covered with bruises on her legs." Tobias says, slightly frustrated. I don't reply. He continues.
"Was it the boys?" He asks, doubting his own teams friendliness.
I can't let those boys take the blame.
"I did it." I admit truthfully.
"Why? What did he she do." He asks impatiently.
"It was about you!" I whisper, avoiding his eye.
When I finally do see him, he looks shocked, and confused, thinking deeply. As if he is lifting off reasons in his mind of why he might be involved. He can't figure it out.
I take a deep breath.
"She said that you was…" It's hard to continue with Tobias look of anger of his name being mentioned.
"Come on Tris." He says prompting me. "It's okay." I continue.
"She said that you were an abused freak and you would never want to go out with…" I swallow the lump in my throat. "With a murderer like me!" I shout.
He hugs me tightly as I begin to sob. His muscles tighten, like he is prepared to fight for me in an instant. I can't stand it anymore, I pull away from his grip.
"It's true though, isn't it" I scream. "I shot my own friend!" I feel like I am going to smash into thousands of pieces.
"Tris, it wasn't your fault?" He shouts back. He moves closer so our hips are touching.
"I thought you had stopped blaming yourself." He whispers into my ear.
He's right. For weeks I have been stable, I even was able to forgive myself for the death of Will. The grief still stings, but it doesn't over power me anymore. I have mourned the loss of all my family, Will, Al, Uriah and Tori. I can't allow myself to fall back into that depression that comes with grief.
I convince myself that crying over Chloe venomous words is pointless. I should give her the satisfaction of her knowing that she broke me.
I stop crying and relax. Tobias kisses me soothingly. I move, so I am now sitting on his lap. My legs wrapped around hips, hands touching his chest. "We are both scarred. Both of us is damaged. That's why we are perfect for each other." He says. It's true, we are ideal pairings. I should've never listened to Chloe.
"Chloe had a lucky escape." He says quietly.
"Tobias." I pause, between kisses. "I love you." I say.
Tobias smiles sweetly, which make the urge to kiss him, even more unbearable.
"I love you too Tris." he whispers.