Steve began to feel nervous as Eleanore parked the car. Before, he'd felt happy to know Peggy was alive and sad that he'd missed all of her life, but now his anxiety grew with each passing second. His mind was filled with what ifs and he ran through dozens of scenarios in a matter of seconds.
What if the shock is too much for her? What if she doesn't remember me well? What if I disappoint her now? What if she's so different that we have nothing to talk about? What if I mess up? What if I get emotional again? What if… he remembered what Eleanore had said about Peggy's short-term memory, What if she forgets I was even here?
"I'm nervous too," Eleanore said from beside him. Her voice was gentle, and it snapped Steve out of his own mind and forced him to take in the situation at hand, a fact for which he was thankful. I can't plan for everything.
"I'll get your door," was all he replied, though, his voice quiet and abrupt in the stillness of the car. The rain had slowed to a pattering drizzle, and the clouds had lightened above them as Steve held the umbrella over Eleanore as she and, to his surprise, the dog exited the car.
"Jet visits with me, usually," she answered his unspoken question. "Some of the residents like him because they can't have pets here." Steve just nodded, because it made sense and because his mind was racing along different paths. He felt more tense than when he'd awoken to the staged New York, and this was worse because there was no action for Captain America to take. Ever since the serum had taken affect, Steve had been able to take care of many situations through sheer strength or, in some cases, intimidation. Now he felt like the Steve Rogers from before the experiment: helpless, shaken, and bound by circumstance. As they walked toward the building's main entrance, Steve felt his stomach coil tighter and tighter.
"Deep breaths, man," Eleanore spoke up at Steve reached for the door. "You're freaking me out, too." Steve was abruptly reminded of Eleanore's non-human side as he felt a calming force brush over his emotions, leaving them the same, but making Steve aware of her potential influence.
"I thought you avoided other people's emotions," he remarked shortly, hoping she wouldn't try to control his.
"Normally, yeah, and I'm not regulating you. Stronger emotions are really hard to ignore." She spoke in a low tone, not quite a whisper, as they approached a reception desk where a woman was typing on a computer and not paying much attention to the lobby. The room was welcoming and warmly lit, but a set of two bulletproof doors led to the rest of the building. "Hi Marcy, I'm here with another visitor today for Peggy."
The older woman behind the desk brightened as she noticed Eleanore and Jet, and her eyes widened when she observed Steve standing beside them. Her graying hair was pulled back gently from her face, and she looked like a comfortable person, like Steve imagined a grandmother would be. She wasn't thin like many of the SHIELD agents he'd seen, but she wasn't overweight either, her body covered by a pink shirt with elephants dancing across it, like the modern nurses wore.
"They'll be happy to see you Elle," Marcy reached under her desk and Steve heard a button press just before the door to their right swung open. "Captain Rogers, I hope you have a nice visit. It's a good day today, for both of them."
"What did she mean by that?" Steve asked as soon as the secure door closed behind them. They were in a wide, white hallway with a yellow carpeted floor. Nurses walked quickly from room to room, and around the corner at the far end of the hall. Others, who appeared to be residents, moved more sedately, stopping to chat with their friends. Doors colored a soft gray lined each side of the hall.
"Some days are better than others for my mom, and for Peggy." Eleanore murmured, smiling greetings at some of the residents who waved at her. They passed several people in the hall, and Jet loped ahead to where a group of men and women in wheelchairs turned to greet him with bright smiles and quiet exclamations. Steve looked among them, but he couldn't find anyone with a resemblance to Peggy. Will I even recognize her?
"Hi everyone," Eleanore walked up to Jet's side, and the group seemed to naturally expand to let her enter. Steve stood a little back, not wanting to intrude. She stopped once she was in the circle, and the old man to her right reached out to fluff Jet's ears. "This is my friend Steve," she gestured at him, and several eyes narrowed as they examined him. "Steve, this is Luther, Mary, David, and Tom."
"I thought you were with that skinny boy," said an old man with white hair and a gravelly voice. "With the curly hair."
"She is, Luther," the woman, Mary, next to him spoke up. She had salt-and-pepper hair and appeared younger than the man who'd spoken first by a good ten years. "Those two are going to get married." She gave Steve a look that clearly challenged him to argue. He stayed silent, adopting his most respectful expression. He still felt incredibly anxious and tense, but paying respect to the elderly was important. I'm older than all of them.
"Easy," Eleanore straightened and put her hands up in a placating gesture. "Steve's not here to steal me away. We just want to visit Peggy and my mom. Do you know where they are?"
"Last I saw, they were in Lydia's room watching that damn British show." David said, sitting back in his chair with a sigh, no malice in his voice. He had almost no hair on his head, but he sported a snowy beard that fell to his chest. He wore a plaid shirt and jeans with black leather shoes.
"Thanks," Eleanore appeared unfazed by the cursing, but Steve cleared his throat. His mother had taught him never to curse, especially in front of a lady.
Before he could speak up, though, Eleanore was walking down the hall, and Steve was following her.
"Don't mind David," she spoke low to avoid others overhearing. "He just normally talks that way."
Steve considered this for a moment, "It's rude."
"Yeah, but he doesn't think of it as rude. It's just how he is." Eleanore stopped in front of a gray door, like all the others in the hallway. She looked at Steve carefully, and he thought he could tell she was "reading" him. "Do you want to take a second?" Her eyes swept up and down his body, resting on his hands.
Steve looked down at them as well, realizing they were clenched into tight fists. He noticed his shoulders rising toward his ears, and his stomach felt like it was tied into knots. Steve had never felt this tense even before a battle.
"Just take deep breaths and wait out here for a second, okay?" Eleanore gave him a small, reassuring smile. "I'm going to go in and kind of… prepare them. You can listen out here. Remember to breath." And before Steve replied, she opened the door into his face so Steve was hidden behind it, and stepped quickly into the room. She left the door ajar and Steve stepped as close as he dared.
Steve heard silence for a moment, before a woman's voice rang out, "Hey babe, I didn't know you were visiting this afternoon!" She sounded almost exactly like Eleanore, and much too young to be Peggy.
"Hi Mom," Eleanore's voice took on a happy tone. "Hi Peggy. I was in the area, and I also have an assignment from SHIELD I'd like to tell you about."
"Well, what is it?" an voice like cracked velvet, familiar from Steve's recent memories yet distanced by time spoke clearly and softly. Steve strained forward to hear it. His mind worked feverishly, trying to picture what the room looked like. From the sound of it, Eleanore had her back to the door. Her mother sounded as though she was facing Eleanore and the door, and Peggy sounded similar. It was a small room with little echo, and Steve could see muted daylight coming through the door. His heart was racing, and he felt more nervous than ever.
"It's great," Eleanore continued, her voice striking a sharp contrast to Steve's nervousness. "Maria recommended me for it, actually. I'm working with a soldier to get him used to civilian life again, after his tour of duty."
Steve felt the corner of his mouth quirk as he listened to Eleanore's accurate yet misleading description.
"SHIELD doesn't do rehabilitation for soldiers," Peggy's voice contained a thoughtful frown. Steve's mind flashed him memories of planning sessions in which he'd heard that exact tone and seen her expression.
"This is a special case," Eleanore continued, her voice rising with budding excitement. "He's worked with SHIELD before, a long time ago. You've even met him, Peggy."
"I can think of many soldiers I've met," Peggy sounded puzzled, and Steve could picture her trying to work the mystery out. "But none have worked so directly with SHIELD that we would take over their civilian concerns."
"Who is it?" Eleanore's mother spoke again, her voice containing masked concern. "Are you sure it's safe to be around him? If he's just coming back from battle, he could have… issues." Steve heard no unkindness or disgust in her voice, only genuine concern for her daughter.
"I'm sure, Mom. And I can handle myself." Eleanore was affectionately blunt, and Steve heard her move across a small distance to stand nearer to her mother and Peggy. "He's really nice, and he's waiting in the hall if you want to see him."
"Of course we'll meet the young man," Peggy said authoritatively. "Then you and I can decide whether or not he's dangerous, Lydia."
"Good plan," Eleanore's mother— Lydia— replied confidently.
"Yeah, okay, but listen first." Eleanore sounded much more nervous and excited suddenly. Steve felt his chest tighten and he reminded himself to breath and loosen his muscles from their tense knots. "Peggy, I don't want to alarm you, but—"
"Dear, if I've met the man before, I'll remember him." Peggy sounded a little impatient, but still friendly toward Eleanore. "Now go and get him. It's rude to leave guests in the hall."
"Right," Eleanore said, and Steve heard her feet padding to the door. He stepped back a bit as she came around it, almost touching the wall with his back.
"Okay, I didn't do as well at preparing them as I'd hoped. But at least they're both sitting down," Eleanore murmured, too quiet for those in the room to hear. "I don't think there's a good way to introduce you, unless you have one in mind?" She seemed almost hopeful, but Steve couldn't think of anything.
"I think we'd better just go in," he said, his voice much surer than he felt.
Eleanore nodded, glancing around and taking a deep breath, sighing it out. She looked like a child who was about to get scolded. "Let's do this, then."
Steve inclined his head once, and placed his hand on the door to hold it open for her. She turned and walked around it, and he followed her, his heart feeling heavy, while his spirit felt lighter than it had in a long time.