Disclaimer: I am not J. K. Rowling. I do not own Harry Potter.

Note: This chapter is the last one to be cross-posted of which the main thrust was already written. Even without taking into account any other circumstances, there may well be substantial delays beyond this point to further updates. As a reminder, this story is taking place in an alternate universe, where James Potter betrothed Harry to Daphne Greengrass – the ripples from which, after it was revealed the previous October, are starting to more and more affect Harry's life at Privet Drive.

Further Note: This chapter touches on events during the period around Dudley Dursley's (seventh) birthday in 1987, from Saturday the 20th of June, to Sunday the 28th; during this period 'Aunt Marge' comes to stay at Privet Drivet. (Dudley's actual birthday is June the 23rd.) This story is rated 'T'.

Harry did not like 'Aunt Marge'.

For that matter, Dudley didn't think much of her, either, but Dudley did like the presents that she tended to buy him for Christmas and birthdays – things like enormous jars of sweets, and toy guns and a 'Red Indian' wigwam (the last of which, presents, despite being bought for him a year ago, Dudley still had yet to use). Dudley would put up with her smothering hugs and kisses because Aunt Marge bought him stuff. (It was something of a relief to Harry that Aunt Marge had never yet tried to hug or kiss him.)

Aunt Marge had been supposed to come at Christmas, but had eaten a 'bad oyster' the week before that, whilst on holiday in Bermuda (wherever that was) and had had to spend Christmas in hospital there.

She had come to Privet Drive to stay for a week now, however, for Dudley's seventh birthday.

Aunt Marge was a large woman – practically as big and beefy as Uncle Vernon – and she liked bulldogs (which she apparently sold) a great deal. On this visit she had brought a bulldog puppy with her which she had called 'Ripper', and which she seemed to think 'had great promise'. Apparently Ripper was a 'pedigree dog' and was already a great favourite of Aunt Marge.

Ripper made Harry feel nervous. Ripper was a puppy, so he looked sort-of-cute at the moment, but he also looked sort-of-mean, Harry thought.

And during dinner the first night of her stay, Aunt Marge talked very loudly about how even dogs of good pedigree could turn out highly temperamental 'and go to seed, unless taken-in-hand with firm discipline, early on'. She'd kept on glancing at Harry for some reason during that conversation. Harry had no idea what she seemed to be getting at, but it was something which had Aunt Petunia (and occasionally Uncle Vernon) nodding along, nonetheless. It had to be something which only made sense to adults.

Aunt Marge had brought several birthday presents for Dudley with her, of course; she'd actually brought Harry a present too, which consisted of a stick which he was apparently supposed to put up the back of his shirt, to 'help him sit up straight at the table'.

Oh well. It was better than the tin of dog food which she'd given Harry the last time that she'd visited.

Aunt Marge's presence in the house left Harry rather relieved when he ended up being assigned to 'waiting duties' during Dudley's party on the day of his actual birthday (which was on Tuesday) this year. Aunt Marge seemed to think that hitting and poking Harry during party-games to try and make sure that he messed up and did worse than Dudley was a good idea; fetching and carrying things from the kitchen and doing the table meant that Harry stayed out of any games and well out of 'prodding' range of Aunt Marge. The 'waiting' on people was actually apparently part of the 'good manners' training that Harry was supposed to be having – although a difficult part of it was that it meant having to wear a bow tie (which Harry simply hadn't been able to work out the instructions for putting on, and which in the end Harry had had to rely on Uncle Vernon to do up for him).

Anyway, Dudley's party finished up as having been sort-of-a-success. Most of Dudley's friends enjoyed themselves, and they all practically ignored Harry – it was like putting on the bow tie and being a 'waiter' had made Harry practically invisible for the occasion, with only his hands being seen if he was bringing or taking away stuff. And at the end of the party one of Dudley's friends stole Ripper and took him home with him, which made Aunt Marge forget all about Harry, until after the boy's father, shame-faced, brought the dog back the next morning.

Besides Dudley having a party on his actual birthday, Dudley also went out 'as a special treat' to the cinema on Saturday afternoon with some of his friends and Aunt Marge and Aunt Petunia (although the puppy-stealer, who had been originally supposed to go too, was removed from the list of those invited).

Whilst Harry had been left at home with Uncle Vernon to write his latest letter to Mr. Lupin, Dudley and the others had gone to see The Chipmunk Adventure. Apparently Dudley had wanted to see a new film called The Witches of Eastwick, because, in Dudley's words, 'it's about magic', and Dudley had sulked for a bit when his mother had put her foot down and told him that they would be going to see The Chipmunk Adventure instead. By the time that the moment for the trip and his friends had arrived, Dudley had recovered, and the expedition had set off with the boys excited by the promise of a story about a balloon race and diamond smuggling. The group came back from the cinema, though, with Dudley and his friends looking not very happy, and with Aunt Petunia and Aunt Marge both looking very tired and a little bit cross. It was obvious to Harry that the trip had not been a success, but nobody had said anything to him about what had gone wrong, until just before bedtime, when he and Dudley were exchanging 'goodnights' on the upstairs landing. Here, Dudley glanced about quickly to check there were no adults in obvious earshot, then passed on a quick comment to Harry about the trip in a low tone of voice:

"It would have been an okay film if it had been just me and mum." Dudley said under his breath. "There was some action, but there was all this silly singing in it too, and there was a gang of girls in it as well as a gang of boys, and a yucky bit about the girls wanting to take a penguin home. It was a really awful film to go and see with Piers and the others. I'm sure the film about witches would have been loads better."

Dudley had become very interested in magic ever since the trip at Easter to Diagon Alley and the purchase of the box of 'popup spiders'. For several weeks once school started up again after the Easter holidays, teachers of Dudley and Harry's year at school had been finding spiders crawling out of registers and exercise books. And then school had actually ended up being closed for a day and a half, whilst the exterminators were called in, after the half-box left by then of popup spiders had become somehow shaken up in Dudley's desk and all become activated just before a class desk inspection. The teacher carrying out the inspection had actually screamed and fled from the classroom upon looking in Dudley's desk, resulting in Dudley becoming immensely popular with the class for a week or so, and a letter being sent home about Dudley 'keeping unsuitable pets in his desk'. Uncle Vernon had chuckled about the letter and told Aunt Petunia that it 'showed the low standard of character of primary school teachers these days' – and Uncle Vernon had led Aunt Petunia to think that Dudley had collected all the spiders from the garden and garage.

After that, Dudley had been unable to get any further contact with actual magic other than looking after Penfold, for which he had assumed (for now) responsibility.

Uncle Vernon had made some vague promise to Dudley about maybe going back to 'the joke shop' at the end of the summer holidays, but had told Dudley that otherwise they needed to keep their heads down for the moment, to avoid raising any suspicions on the part of Aunt Petunia.

Penfold, Harry thought, as he and Dudley headed into their separate bedrooms for the night, was doing very well out of Dudley's currently being interested in but-not-able-to-get-at-most-things-magical. Penfold was at the moment a very well fed owl, and Dudley spent a lot of time (when not out with his friends) talking to the owl. Dudley even insisted on being allowed to clean Penfold's cage out, occasionally…

The next morning, with the celebrations for Dudley's birthday now well and truly over for the year, Aunt Marge (after further hugs with Dudley, and Dudley doing his best to look solemn and to say 'thank you' for the presents) had rounded up Ripper and gone.

Harry was relieved: he'd escaped without getting much of Aunt Marge's attention at all for most of this visit, although he'd had to write her a note to say thank you for 'the lovely stick to help me with my manners'.

What made it a particular relief for Harry to see Aunt Marge go this time, though, was that once or twice she'd smiled at him during this stay. It wasn't a nice, friendly, smile, such as she often gave to Uncle Vernon, or showered upon Dudley, but it wasn't a mean or nasty smile, either. It frankly confused and scared Harry a little bit, to see Aunt Marge showing her teeth at him like that.

Author Notes:

Aunt Marge's 'bad oyster' in the Bahamas referred to in this chapter is due to my discovery when researching/writing the material posted in this chapter that actually, Aunt Marge should, according to the Harry Potter wikia, have been to stay at Privet Drive for Christmas, in 1986. Having not made any reference to Aunt Marge being there at Christmas (1986) in earlier sections of this story, and she being such a personality that I felt that if she had been present at that Christmas that it ought to have been mentioned before, I felt it necessary to provide a 'reason' for there being no reference to Christmas 1986 with Aunt Marge.

I'm not sure (at the time of initial posting of these notes) how old canon 'Ripper' is by the time that he is first officially 'featured' in canon in the summer of 1993 in Prisoner of Azkaban. I've taken the liberty of assuming that he's a puppy in this universe in June, 1987.

Behind the scenes in this story, by the time of this chapter Vernon is assumed to have told Aunt Marge something about Harry's father 'actually turning out to have been an aristocrat who was a bit wild'.

June 1987 seems to have been a bit thin on the ground as far as films suitable for seven year olds and likely to have been showing in UK cinemas goes; out of what was available (after having to discard my initial choice, after it turned out to have been a television release) , I thought that Petunia would think The Chipmunk Adventure most likely to appeal to (and be suited for) Dudley and his friends. (The Witches of Eastwick would have in any case been much too 'old' for Dudley, but that didn't stop Dudley from wanting to see it on the basis of its 'cool' sounding name.)

The next chapter, (whenever it comes), will be concerned with the opening of Harry's seventh birthday, to which celebrations Daphne Greengrass is invited...