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The note smells like roses and it makes me feel nauseous. The red rose. The red rose, Tobias supposedly gave me next to his farewell speech that Chloe forced him to write. She knows that I would remember it and its deadly poison. I hate Chloe with all of my force.
"She took him, didn't she?" I ask trying to hide my heartbreak.
Zoe nods slowly. I have to get him back.
"Can I keep his jacket?" I ask the commander.
"Of course." He says and then walks away back into the crowd of Dauntless people.
"When are we leaving?"
"We are making the final preparations now."
"I'll be back in a bit." I say loudly.
"I'm not leaving you, not after you've just heard this news." Alaska says.
"I'm fine. I'll be back in a bit."
I don't wait for them to reply and turn towards the door. I get into the corridor and get stopped by Zoe and Tom.
"So, why do you think it was left there in the road?" Zoe asks.
"It was for me. She left it there on purpose. She knew we would go looking for him. It didn't miraculously fall out of the car. She's gloating." I say angrily.
"I know."
"I just need to go and get something." I say with the jacket and the note still in my arms.
"The last thing we need is for you to run off as well." She says harshly.
I must look a bit annoyed by that because she says, "I'm just joking but seriously you do need to hurry up. I'm sure you don't want to be left behind."
"I'll be quick."
I run to Tobias' apartment, slam open the door and grab the cupboard's handle. I find the gun and as I place it in my hand, I remember the time I shot Evelyn and shiver. Tobias gave it me to protect me, well now I'm going to use it to help me protect him. Before I leave, I put on Tobias hoodie. I focus on his musky smell and it calms me down a little.
The next hours passes me by and the next moment I realise where I am is when Colin stares at me before I get into the back of a large truck. He gives me a quizzical look and I nod at him to confirm that I will go up and shout for surrender, for them to give me Tobias back so Christina doesn't have too. I might look weak doing it but if it saves lives then I don't mind doing it.
Charlie, Alaska's Erudite friend, is driving the truck with Gemma as a co-pilot. There could be five more people in here but since Alaska organised our transport she must have wanted it like this. I guess Alaska didn't to have an episode in front of people that she doesn't know. She sleeping next to me at the moment, resting on Dale's shoulder. I think she's just pretending to sleep to stop Dale from worrying but I don't want to interfere because I can tell it is actually making Dale relax a little. Christina is sat next to Colin cuddling silently with Shauna and Zeke laughing quietly next to them. Zoe and Tom are sat behind Gemma and I couldn't talk to them even if I wanted to as they are too far away and wouldn't hear me over the humming of the engine.
I zip Tobias' abandoned jacket up and try to focus on his smell and trying to pretend that he's sat with me but it doesn't makes me miss him even more. Now I feel lonelier than I ever have before.
"How are you coping?" He asks me.
"I wish he was here right now." I say honestly.
"We will get him back today, don't worry about it."
Even though I know I can't, I say "I'll try not to. How are you doing?"
"I'm trying to be happy. Today's the day that we get the cure and then everything will be ok."
"How's Alaska?" I ask curiously. She still looks exhausted, even when she's pretending to sleep.
"She's dying." He says anxiously.
He leans closer and says, "If I had to bet, I would say she's got a few days left."
"I'll get her the cure if my life depends on it." I promise.
"I hope it doesn't."
"Yeah. Me too."
We don't speak for the rest of the journey because we are both anxious about what is going to happen tonight. There is so much as at risk today. I start to drift off but my peaceful dream gets destroyed by images of Alaska and Tobias dying in front of me. The saddest part is that they don't even fight to stay alive they just accept it like their murder was inevitable and they have no control over it. I get a strange pain in my leg which makes my dream distorted and harder to imagine. My visit goes black and then I snap back to reality.
I look down and see Dale pressing the barrel of his gun into my leg. I look at him with wild eyes and my body is tense and riddled with shock. He moves the gun away quickly before I retaliate and hurt him.
"Sorry but I thought that would hurt less than me punching you in the face."
He gives his handkerchief to me to wipe up the few spots of blood staining my black jeans.
"I thought that would snap you out of it."
I give him a grateful smile.