China, specifically Shanghai. That's right I've been Shanghaied by the Old Spice guy, the safe contained money with chairman Mao's image on it or at least, I think that's who's on it, but the ID's and passports within were the big hint.
Also, based on the collection of guns and some blatantly illegal drugs that were also inside of the safe I'd say this guy just might be in with the gangs. I didn't want to stick around for much longer, this guy could come back anytime and have friends with him. A couple extra phones were inside but I wasn't sure I wanted to use any of them, obviously, I'm not in my world with murderous "superheroes" running around and so any phone number I dialed would probably not reach the person I wanted. Well at least, I feel less bad about robbing this guy whose name I can't pronounce.
I sucked in my lower arms while clutching the money, using them like a pocket before I headed into the kitchen to grab a bite to eat. Searching through the refrigerator I was somewhat depressed to only find old take-out containers, ingredients, and toppings I didn't recognize.
I guess I should have expected that.
However, a search of the cabinets turned up some instant noodles of some local brand. Finding a pot and using the sink for some water I started boiling my meager meal. Oh, a teapot, tea set, and some tea leaves, awesome.
A few minutes later I had the noodle meal warming my stomach up, at least, it was something. And I "accidentally" broke the knob off of the stove when I tried to turn it off. I blew out the flames and took that as my cue to leave. Leaving the gas on high to build up inside of the gangsters house.
Keeping to the shadows, I made my way to a deserted bus stop and looked at the map.
Some of the major roads had secondary "English" titles at least, "Yan'an Road" looked like it headed straight to the airport. I headed to the nearest intersection with an onramp to the highway and waited until a vehicle stopped. Rushing out, I grabbed onto and clung to the rear bumper of the car and made my way onto the roof, careful to stay out of the driver's field of view.
I had to do a few exciting vehicle-to-vehicle jumps to stay on the right roads while on the highway, and only had one fall. My near-invulnerability laughed at highway speeds and a couple of cars that ran me over. Also, people really didn't want to stop to check to see if I was alright, one glance and they took off, popped tires, broken windshields and the muffler stuck to one of my hands didn't seem to matter.
I really can't blame them, checking to see if the demented looking blue koala-thing with too many sharp teeth is alright and "oh-my-ancestors it's standing up and brushing itself off" is probably fairly high on the "Nope" list. I chucked the muffler off to the side of the highway, spat on the ground to get the highway dirt and rocks out of my mouth and jumped at a passing car's side to continue my ride.
Hanging out on top of a bus which looked like it might be heading to the airport. I got to see a big fireball followed shortly by an even larger explosion. I wonder what happened, It looks like the city is having some issues with gas leaks in the sewers or in houses or something. That should keep those super-people occupied for a while.
What a shame.
Airport, ok... How do I do this... sneaking on via the wheel well or the luggage compartment seemed to be the best choices. I know people freeze to death in the wheel-well but I should be able to cut my way into another part of the plane if it gets too cold. I think the luggage compartment is pressurized so that would probably be a better spot.
Free plane ride, no hassles, don't have to spend my "hard" earned Chinese money and most importantly, no ID or passport needed, which I didn't have anyways. As if I could purchase a ticket anyways, sigh. Just need to pick the right plane after getting a good view from the airport building.
It seemed that there were significantly fewer airplanes flying then what I would expect, I thought Shanghai was a major airport but clearly they are not doing well. There seems to be only a single plane taking off or landing every hour or so, shouldn't there be a constant stream of planes?
Weird.
Oh, wait that plane is perfect.
The luggage compartment of the Hawaiian Airlines airplane was nice and cozy. The in-flight meal was lacking but I managed to grab a few hundred American dollars and more Chinese currency from the luggage. Also I entertained myself by watching the skeleton-people walking around and getting seated on the plane via X-Ray vision, after looking through everyone's luggage for money and left shoes for some strange reason.
Well, leaving that mess behind might have been a mistake, the flight wasn't a direct one. Instead we stopped in another Chinese airport, let a few people off... And the baggage handlers freaked out a bit at the ravaged luggage, most of which had been shredded by me to make a comfortable little nest for myself. I mean China to Hawaii, that's a long trip and I planned on sleeping through most of it if possible.
Totally not my fault, best to try again with a different plane, I decided to sneak on with the pets. Sorry dog, I need your kennel to get out of China and survive.
He should be fine, go free dog, go free!
The rumors of eating random dogs off the streets in China have to be exaggerated right? Sucking in my antenna, spines and extra arms and presto an ugly looking blue-koala dog thing.
"Bark Bark" My enthusiasm in my role did not faze the airport attendants as they loaded me onto the plane. Some tongue wagging, tail wagging, fur biting and I totally aced the boarding checks as they stacked me in the back with the handful of other pets.
The backpack and clothing were easily hidden under a blanket and made for additional padding. Another blanket was happily provided by the flight attendant to cover the kennel's front. Apparently staring directly at someone with a toothy grin and gnashing one's teeth is somewhat disturbing. It helps when your mouth is almost two thirds of your head too.
While otherwise bored in flight it was a good time to plan and decide things. The first thing I need to figure out is just where I am, you know which universe etc. Then what I want to do about it, I mean other than getting back into the USA and heading home. See if an alternate version of me exists and just suck my own accounts dry, I can totally "borrow" money from myself right? Heh, grab my other-selves cash and head back to Hawaii and pretend to be Stitch from an alternate universe who got sucked into this one from an experiment.
That… that actually might work, I'll have to go through the movies and show again to catch the details I might miss.
Show up in Hawaii and intentionally get noticed by tourists and the locals. Make it into a big media event so that I can't be "disappeared" by shady government officials and maybe get hired by Disney.
Wonder if i'm fluent in Stitch's alien language.
I gave it a go "Tookie Bawabah Maqa Maqa Mimichi Bonaba Iki Bobo!" oh well, guess not.
I wonder how long it would take it pick it up from the movies and the show, Stitch managed to pick up tolerable English in just a few days.
A long and dull ride later, and I'm in Hawaii. Honestly, I debated hopping off and checking it out, but I've been on all of the Caribbean Islands and besides the difference in cultures, one island is pretty much the same as all islands. A quick change of planes to one going to the mainland instead of back to China and a couple of kennel changes and onwards to California. Really the security is terrible behind the scenes, I was expecting a much more intense security screening or at least some locked doors, I guess TSA really is uselessly incompetent.
The dog food was delicious, a crunchy meat flavored cereal but it could have used some milk. One of the flight attendants is now missing a left shoe which mysteriously disappeared after she briefly took them off while taking a break. She deserved it after all of the talk about the "super ugly, freaky looking dog".
Weirdly the low-plane traffic continued, the California airport had the same issue as the previous two. I wonder if it was some sort of low-traffic period, it must be during the workweek or is there some sort of global depression going on here? A direct flight from California to BWI didn't seem to be in the cards, but surprisingly I couldn't find one going to Dulles airport either. I settled for New York City, at least I'd be on the same coast and I know that there are buses from New York to back home.
I thought about just purchasing a plane ticket, I certainly had enough cash after raiding the luggage compartment for hours! Maybe disguise myself with bandages and pretend I'm a dwarf or something. The problem of course is ID, and the fact that everyone will be staring at me. I can just imagine a couple of kids screaming out "Look, it's Stitch" and surrounding me until the adults notice.
Bliznak!
And back to the kennel. I hate these things but at least I can get out of them and stretch when the attendants aren't using the back area to chat and gossip.
New York, JFK airport. Just breathe in that smoggy air filled with so many unpleasant stinks. With my growing hatred of riding in the back of airplanes, I snuck into the terminal to check out when a plane from BWI or Dulles would be available.
Let's see, Departing schedule. Baltimore 7:25am, Brockton Bay 8:15am, Birmingham at 8:45am .. Dulles at 12:34am
Wait, Brockton Bay? Where have I heard... oh... Nooonnon Noo Oh crap! Oh crap!
I almost fell off of the ceiling inside the airport that I was clinging to, for the love of… I'm in that death-trap of a world!
I snuck up into the ceiling onto a girder where I could freak out nice and quietly. Clutching the steel-ceiling-girders until they slowly squashed under my hands.
Why... why this shit-hole of a universe? Bliznak Old Spice Man, this isn't fair. This is like a guaranteed death-world where a huge portion of the world - and worlds connected to it - die from whiny space-whale angst!
That is, if any of the Endbringers or the S9 or any of the other horrors don't get to you first!
I've only read it once, months ago, so I don't even remember half of the crap that goes on!
Come on, give me a break Old Spice man! You turned me into Stitch and then stuck me into this you're-going-to-die death-world, how is that even fair?
"Meega Bliznak"
Well, I could run away and avoid everything and everyone, and end up dead via Scion at some point, or an Endbringer if I don't avoid the cities entirely, or get snatched up by Khepri... Alternatively, I could head to Brockton Bay, interfere, and hope for a better ending.
Sigh
Guess, I should find out the date first, I know a very rough timeline of events. The story starts in fall/winter of 2011 I think with Taylor's debut with Lung. Leviathan a month later, the S9 after that. Then Coil is dealt with I think, then the travelers and the info about the case fifty three's breaks out. The Undersiders take over the city and the heroes escalate, Taylor is outed and turns herself in, offs Alexandria and becomes Weaver. The Behemoth's last battle/murder after a time skip I think, more time skips and the S9000 happens, and Jack somehow gets in contact with Scion and convinces him to go on a murder-everyone-alive rampage.
Well, I guess there is one benefit to this world, case fifty threes are around so the likelihood of being captured for experimentation is fairly low. I think I should go grab some clothing to be a bit more presentable and to help define me as being sentient and not some sort of freakish animal. A quick trip to the luggage area and a few destroyed locks and I had a reasonable outfit of some kid-sized clothing. I tore holes under my upper arms with my claws. Less likely to be confused for a weird dog with all four arms sticking out.
I stuffed the cash into the pants pockets.
I've decided that I'm taking a bus next. Even though it'll be twice the time as another airplane ride. Bus rides can be purchased without ID's I think, I'm just tired of cramped cages and I want an actual seat. I also want more time to think about what I want to do. I made my way to an area without anyone watching and dropped down to the ground.
I swear I could feel everyone staring at me as I walked out of the airport openly and headed to the taxis. I just wanted a quick ride to the bus terminal, maybe I should have tried finding a hat to stuff my ears into.
Getting a taxi was not a very pleasant experience, quite a few of them refused to take me. Is that speciesism or racism?
The taxi driver who did take me almost had his tires slashed after asking for a bigger tip for "Vacuuming up your fur" I "dropped" a twenty, rolled under his car to "retrieve it" and put a claw-sized hole in his gas tank before giving it to him. I hope he likes that tip.
I smiled and waved goodbye, "Toobaga!" I said cheerfully he just looked at me funny and drove away. I grinned at the little trail of gasoline following him before heading into the bus terminal.
Only about half the bus terminal watched as I got a bus ticket from the attendant, a few of the people visibly recoiled and quickly left. I'm so glad I stole that money from those tourists. It's a shame that I had to probably ruin their vacation, but getting the hell out of China was a higher priority. Also, according to a newspaper left on a seat, it's apparently August 2010. Unfortunately, I don't know about anything before the start of the story other than Taylor's locker-event happening several months before the story started.
Vending machine food is slightly better than dog food, but not by much honestly. The fact that nearly everyone was staring at me freaked me out, though. I was never comfortable being the center of attention and now I felt like everyone was watching me as I ate the vending machine sandwich and sat down to wait for the bus.