Chapter 5 Things Are Different Now

Regina woke up alone in Henry's room the next morning. She must have fallen asleep. A blanket had been draped over her and she noticed the mess from the "break up" basket had been cleaned up. Emma was nowhere around so she got up and as she passed Henry's bathroom she heard the sound of the sink running.

Emma was still here.

Did she fall asleep in the same bed? Regina had no idea. She hoped she didn't but for some reason the thought of sleeping beside Emma made her feel all tingly inside.

At that moment the door opened and Regina's expression went from bemusement to a mask of calm. In fact she couldn't help the small smirk from gracing her lips as Emma stepped out.

"Regina," Emma stated, startled to see her standing right outside the door.

"You're still here."

"Yeah, I crashed in the guest room. I was too sleepy to drive home. Sorry, it won't happen again."

Well that answers that question. Emma did not sleep in the same bed as her.

"No, don't worry about it. I'm going to take a shower first and then we could head to Granny's. Do you mind starting some coffee?"

"Can't we just get some at Granny's," Emma whined, not in the mood to make it.

"Oh now that I want coffee, you aren't willing to make it?" she asked, half serious and half teasing her. She was in a rare mood this morning. Maybe it was because of the company last night and plus she was still reeling from the fact that Emma had stayed.

"I'm not your barista. Should have taken the first offer," Emma pointed out. "Besides we have to meet Henry. He just texted me that he's at the diner already."

"He's already at the diner! Why didn't you wake me?" Regina exclaimed in annoyance and the reason Emma had suddenly felt so silly. Regina had looked so peaceful and adorable. She didn't want to wake her.

"I wanted to let you sleep," she said and Regina huffed in annoyance. She normally didn't use magic for such trivial things but she didn't want to keep Henry waiting. With a wave of her hand she was dressed and ready to go.

"Woh," Emma whispered, still not use to the quickness of Regina's magic sometimes. "You know, he wouldn't have minded waiting a little longer."

"I would have minded," she answered, grabbing Emma's hand and they were suddenly standing outside of Granny's. Emma rushed up the steps and before she opened the door it was then that she realized Regina wasn't behind her. She turned to see her staring at the door, her eyes suddenly void and it was as if she was looking at a version of the Regina she used to know. The one she had first met upon coming to Storybrooke. She masked her emotions, her fists clenched at her sides.

"Regina," she said softly, going over to her. "Hey, are you okay?" Emma's voice seemed to snap her out of her dark trance and her eyes soften with doubt and worry.

"He's probably angry at me. I pushed him away." She was afraid of being rejected and Emma could see it.

"He's not angry. He was just hurt and confused."

"What if he doesn't want to talk to me?"

"He will," Emma reassured her and then, "He's worried."

"He is?" Regina's eyes lit up and Emma could see the hope of a mother longing for her son. Emma could always tell what she was feeling through those dark brown orbs. Her eyes were where she expressed her most intimate emotions. Emma could always see right through her even back in the day when they had been enemies.

"Yes," Emma smiled, taking her hand and leading her to the door. "It'll be ok."

"Ok," she whispered, taking a deep breath and walking through that door. The moment they were inside Regina pulled her hand away and Emma immediately missed the contact.

Henry was already seated at a booth with a mug of hot chocolate in front of him.

"Go ahead, I'll order our food," Emma said and Regina swallowed nervously. She couldn't even move and so Emma nudge her ahead gently and she suddenly found herself going over to her son. She sat across from him and he looked surprised to see her and she could also see the relief flashing across his face.

Was he really that worried for her?

"You never answered my calls," he said, the hurt clear in his voice.

"I needed time," she said softly. "You didn't deserve to see me… I didn't want you to see me so…"

"Heartbroken?" Henry asked and her eyes suddenly welled up with tears, but she held them in. She wouldn't cry in front of him. She wouldn't let him see the deep sadness that seemed to follow her like a dark cloud.

"You didn't have to shut me out. I want to be here for you. You're my mom and I'm not giving up on you."

"Henry," she whispered and he stood. She thought he was going to walk away and she felt her heart breaking even more. She could feel the self-loathing and deep guilt for wronging him yet again and then he was suddenly sitting next to her and pulling her into his arms. She held him after a moment of shock, not caring who was watching. Right now all that mattered was him.

"I Love you mom and I won't ever give up on you. Just remember that, please," he whispered, pleading with her and they pulled away. He looked at her and she couldn't help but notice how grown up he looked. He wasn't that same 10 year old boy that had pulled away from her. They had come so far and she knew she could trust him not to hurt her again just like he trusted her not to hurt him.

He smiled at her and her heart warmed.

"Why didn't you tell me you were coming?" he asked and was relieved to see her relax. Her posture wasn't so tensed anymore.

"I wasn't sure you'd want me to join you and Emma," she said and he looked at her as if that was the most absurd thing he's ever heard.

"Of course I'd want you to be here," he said. "I can't remember the last time we did this." She smiled sadly at this because she couldn't remember either; and whenever they had eaten together before the curse had broken, it was always so tensed between them.

Emma took that moment to approach them and she sat across from them in the booth.

"Hey kid, I ordered you some chocolate chip pancakes."

"Awesome, thanks," he said happily. "You got mom apple, right?"

"Apple huh?" Emma asked, looking at Regina curiously. "I should've known considering your obsession with all things apple. I told Ruby to give you your usual."

"Good choice Swan. You may live, and it's not an obsession," she stated those last words with a playful glare. Henry lifted an eyebrow at them, his expression looking so much like Regina in that moment. He found their good mood towards each other odd, especially after all that had gone on with the whole Robin and Marian situation.

He watched them as they chatted easily with each other, often exchanging some light banter back and forth.

This was weird.

He's never seen them get along so easily and when they did, the air was always filled with a deep kind of edginess between them. Now though, as he watched them, it was as if they were longtime friends.

"Are you two ok?" he asked after Ruby had brought them their orders.

"Of course Henry," Regina replied as Emma dug into her own chocolate chip pancakes. "Why wouldn't we be?"

"It's just you two don't normally get along," he stated carefully, not wanting to spoil whatever was happening because to be honest, the idea of both of his mothers getting along was the best thing that could happen.

Emma stopped eating at that moment, her gaze fixed on Henry as if she were considering his words and then she looked at Regina. Some kind of understanding passed between them. An understanding that this was what was best for their son. Them getting along was what he needed, but then Emma was suddenly looking at her as if she was really seeing her for the first time. As if she were just seeing Regina and not the mayor, or the mother, or even the Evil Queen. Just Regina.

"Things are different now," the younger woman stated, green eyes never leaving brown.

"Did you really mean what you said to Henry?" Regina asked as they walked back to the mansion after breakfast. Henry had taken off to the stables to meet David to continue his riding lessons. "You really think things are different between us?" She chose her words carefully, afraid of what Emma would think of her for even asking in the first place.

"Well, yeah. We're friends right."

"That's right," Regina whispered, still not able to believe it. It was only a couple of days ago that she hated the blonde. It was just a while ago that they were at each other's throats. She had blamed Emma for ruining her life.

Now things were different, just like Emma had said.

They were quiet for a while after that. Regina was mulling over the past events in her head and that had led to Robin. The conversation from last night played over and over in her mind and then Emma had held her even when they were far from friends.

"You're thinking about Robin, aren't you?" Emma asked, her tone solemn and her eyes full of concern. She took Regina's silence as a yes. She took in the way Regina couldn't look at her and the way she seemed to be holding back on her emotions. She was shutting herself away from Emma. "It's ok you know, to talk about him. I know it hurts."

"He chose her," Regina said, still unable to meet Emma's gaze. "He apologized and said that what we had was real, but he still chose her. He chose her out of honor. Daniel told me to love again and I did, and I got hurt like I always do."

"Hey, wait," Emma said, stopping them in their tracks and facing Regina. She reached out, tilting Regina's chin so that she would look at her. "You're going to find love Regina. It's out there and maybe Robin just wasn't it."

"He was my soulmate, Emma," Regina whispered.

"Says who?" Emma asked and Regina looked away. A torrent of emotions flashed across her face until that mask went up and Emma couldn't tell what she was thinking.

"It's a long story," she said, her gaze fixed on some point straight ahead passed Emma. She walked passed her and the blonde rushed to keep up.

"Story? What are you talking about?" Emma asked and when Regina wouldn't slow down she grabbed her arm. "Regina! Stop."

Regina sighed and Emma planted herself in front of her.

"Talk to me, please. Stop trying to push me away."

"You don't understand," Regina's voice trembled and the unemotional mask crumbled and Emma could see the doubt and the deep hurt for this whole messy situation.

"What don't I understand? Don't shut me out Regina," Emma urged her, taking both of Regina's hands in hers.

"I can't tell you here," she said, her eyes scanning their surroundings. "Not out in the open."

"Ok," Emma agreed, accepting that for now.

When they made it back to the mansion Regina picked up the mail from the floor by the front door and led Emma into her study. She dropped the envelopes on her desk without a second thought before joining Emma on the couch.

Regina had been quiet the rest of the way back. She was mulling over her story of Tink and pixie dust and soulmates. She wasn't sure how to start talking and then Emma was suddenly reassuring her.

"Take your time," she said. "You don't even have to tell me today if you don't want to. You can wait until you're ready."

No, she needed to tell her. She wanted Emma to know.

"It was a long time ago," she started. "I was young, about 17. It was after I married the King. My life was over when it hadn't even begun. I was so angry and heartbroken. I was in a dark place and I was alone."

Emma knew she was forced to marry her grandfather at such a young age. She knew Regina was only 17, a child becoming a mother. She was a child Queen and yet, hearing it never made it easier.

"One night, Snow and the King were away as usual. I was in my bed chamber on the balcony and the rail gave out. I fell but before I could hit the ground I was suddenly flying. Tinker Bell saved me with her pixie dust. We sort of became friends after that.

"She wanted me to find love again and so her pixie dust led me to the man she said I was destined to be with. It led me to a tavern, to a man with a lion tattoo. I never did see his face. I hadn't even known it was Robin until Zelena cursed us back to Storybrooke."

"So you didn't go in," Emma stated sadly.

"No," Regina replied. "I panicked. The thought of not having my anger, the thought of being happy without Daniel terrified me. I opened the door, I froze, and I ran. Besides, what kind of life would we have if I had met him that night? I was already the Queen and a love affair could have certainly led to our deaths."

"We need to speak to Tinker Bell," Emma suddenly said, taking in everything she had just heard.

"Why?" Regina asked, startled at the idea. What can that fairy possibly do to fix this?

"Robin can't be it. He can't be the only love out there for you."

"But he was my soulmate, Emma," Regina exasperated, clearly annoyed. Had she even listened to the story?

"But he can't be it!"

"How would you even know that?" Regina snapped.

"Because it just can't!" Emma declared stubbornly. "We can't just have one or two loves. We grow and sometimes people grow into different directions. Sometimes you're with someone in the right time of your life and sometimes you grow out of love. That's how life works. There has to be someone out there even if it isn't your soul mate."

"You really believe that?" Regina breathed.

"Yes," Emma told her, her eyes pleading for her to understand. "Which is why we need to talk to Tinker Bell about this whole soulmate and destiny thing."

This whole thing got Regina feeling uneasy and off balanced. She needed to do something with her hands and so she got up, aware of Emma's eyes following her as she sat at her desk and reached for the mail. It wasn't that she didn't trust Tinker Bell. She was just afraid of what the fairy had to say.

"But if you don't want to, I understand," Emma said, deciding to back off because she could see how off balanced the brunette suddenly became.

Regina barely even heard her. Her gaze was suddenly fixed on the light cream colored envelope with no address. It only read her first name, neatly handwritten in the center. Whoever had sent this had personally dropped this off somehow. It had to be from the same idiot that ransacked her home, and God she should have let Emma investigated for evidence.

"Regina?" Emma's concerned voice shook her from her trance.

"Um, yeah we could talk to her," her voice shook terribly as she shoved the unopened letter into a drawer. It was probably nothing anyway so she didn't show it to Emma. She didn't want to worry her.