Today

Emma turned around once again, trying to find a comfortable position to sleep in, something that was becoming increasingly difficult with every passing day. It didn't help either, that her baby had decided that her trying to sleep was the perfect time to start kicking stronger than she had ever felt before. Finally she sat up, deciding to get herself a glass of water.

She quietly left the bedroom and walked toward the kitchen sink, hoping that she wouldn't wake Killian. She filled a glass and then started walking back toward the bedroom, when she stubbed her toe on a counter. Before she could stop herself, a curse left her lips.

"Emma?" a sleepy voice asked.

"Sorry," she replied quietly. "I was just a little clumsy."

Even in the dark she could see that he was getting up. "Is everything alright?"

"Yes, I just couldn't sleep. He's doing his best to keep me awake."

Killian walked toward her, turning on a floor lamp on his way. "He?"

Emma blinked in the suddenly bright room. "I don't know… I think it's a boy, at least he enjoys kicking me as if my stomach is a freaking football."

"May I?" Killian asked. "I mean, if he's still kicking…"

With a smile she reached for his hand and placed it where she could feel the baby's movements. Killian's eyes grew wide when he felt the motion.

"That's…" He paused, struggling to find the right words.

Emma nodded, understanding what he meant even without saying it.

They sat down on the couch, neither feeling ready to go back to bed just then.

"Are you still coming with me tomorrow?" she asked. She finally had her doctor's appointment and the closer it got, the more nervous she felt. What if something was wrong with her baby? What if she wasn't taking good enough care of herself? She could have asked her mom to accompany her, but she had been scared that it would only increase her nervousness. Killian's presence usually helped calming her down.

"As long as you haven't changed your mind about that I'll be right by your side," he answered with a smile.

Emma felt her heart beat just a little bit faster when her eyes met his, reminding her of a time, when she hoped that he would see her as something more than just his friend. There had even been moments in the past, when she thought that maybe he did care about her the same way she did about him. Especially during that last Christmas holiday they spent together. But it was during that same time, when Killian had begun keeping a little more distance between them.

Since her return he had been the friend she knew and whom she had missed so much during her time away from home, but she was no fool. He was dating someone and he seemed to genuinely care about Milah; maybe he even loved her. And she was pregnant with another guy's baby, after running away from home with the first boy who told her he loved her. The same boy who had then left her alone far away from home with just a handful of cash and a stolen car. He hadn't even left a note to say goodbye…

"Emma?" She felt someone taking her hands and looked down. She had clenched them to fists, her nails digging into her palms. Gently Killian helped straighten her fingers. "What's wrong, love?"

"Nothing," she lied. Killian merely raised an eyebrow in a way to tell her that he didn't believe her. Emma sighed. "I was thinking about Neal."

There was a flash of anger in Killian's eyes. "If I ever see that bastard again, he'll regret what he's put you through."

Almost automatically Emma placed her hand on his cheek and felt how he leaned into her touch, closing his eyes. "He's not worth it," she said quietly.

Killian opened his eyes again and looked at her. "But you are. And if he's too blind to see that there's no way he'd find anyone more caring or loving… or a woman who is more beautiful…"

Emma felt herself blush. She was painfully aware that her hand was still cupping his cheek and that, if she only leaned a little closer, her lips would meet his. It was tempting, but in the end she dropped her hand. No matter what he had just said, there was no way that he would want her and she wouldn't risk making things awkward between them. Not when she finally had him back.

"I should go to bed," she said and slowly stood up. "And so should you. You've got to work soon."

"Right," he said and for a second she thought she saw hurt in his eyes.

"Goodnight." She turned toward the bedroom and walked away from him, before she did something stupid.

3 Years ago

Emma sat down on his bed, watching as he was working at his desk.

"Mom said that you're intending to leave soon after graduation." She did her best to keep her tone only mildly interested.

Killian turned his head toward her. "Yeah, there isn't much holding me here." He must have seen the hurt on her face, because the next moment he abandoned his seat at the desk and joined her on the bed. "Except from you, Ruth and your stupid brother, of course. Emma, you know that I hate leaving you here, but I have to get out of this town."

"I could come with you," she whispered so quietly that she thought he didn't hear. But of course he did.

"If I thought there was any chance that would work and not get me into trouble with your mom, I would."

"So no chance at all then," Emma said dryly. She sighed and laid back. Killian mimicked her a moment later and for a long moment they both were just staring at the ceiling, not saying a word.

She turned her head toward him and watched his profile. He had let his hair grow out a little, almost right away adopting the habit of running his fingers through it every chance he got. His face was clean shaven, but she knew that he was toying with the idea of going with a less boyish look. Emma didn't first need to see him with a beard to know that it would only increase his already too handsome look.

"You know, I'm gonna miss having you in my bed pretty much half the time I'm at home."

Emma felt the warmth spread on her cheeks, when he turned his head toward her with a grin. "It's something I'm sure most guys in school are quite jealous of."

"Idiot," she said and punched his arm.

"Ow. But I mean it. I'm lucky to have you in my life. And not just because you're the most beautiful girl in school. I have no idea how I would have managed to get through the last year without you."

"I didn't do much," she murmured, meeting his blue eyes with her green ones.

"But you were there whenever I needed you."

For a second she thought – she hoped – that he would say something else. But then he closed his eyes and the moment was gone.

"I guess I should go back to work."

"And that's my cue to leave," Emma replied and sat up.

"You can stay if you want."

She shook her head. "You only want some distraction. But maybe we can go on a run later?"

Killian smiled at her. "Great idea."

Emma left his room and returned to her own, closing the door behind her. The moment she was alone she leaned her back against the door and closed her eyes, feeling the tears burn in the corners of her eyes.

It was silly. They would still see each other and keep in contact every chance they got, once he had moved. But the thought of not having him around all day, of not being able to stop by his room across the hall whenever she wanted to see him, hurt. And she was scared that once he had left, he would start a new life without her.

Today

"You're making me nervous," Emma said and looked at Killian sitting next to her, whose fingers were drumming a rhythm on his leg.

"Sorry, love," he replied and smiled at her sheepishly. She couldn't help but smile back at him.

They were waiting in the examination room for the doctor. Killian had offered to wait outside for her, but she really didn't want to do this alone.

"You're doing great," she told him and reached for his hand.

He squeezed it. "Yeah, because I'm the one doing all the work here…"

She laughed and looked at him, their eyes focusing on each other.

When the doctor arrived shortly after, they were still holding hands, his thumb drawing circles on the back of hers. During the examination, she kept her eyes on Killian's face, only speaking when the doctor asked her a question. But Killian was watching the doctor closely, was watching every move of the other man's hands. There was something in the way he was looking at the other man that she couldn't quite identify.

The doctor insisted on doing an ultra-sound, considering that she hadn't been properly examined before during her pregnancy. The moment she heard the beating of the heart, her eyes were fixed on the screen that showed her baby and by the way Killian was squeezing her hand, she knew that he too had fully directed his attention toward it.

"Everything seems to be just the way it should be," the doctor remarked. "It looks like she's ready to put on a show for you."

She could feel the movements of her baby, but only mildly paid attention to it after hearing the doctor's words.

"She?"

"Unless I'm mistaken, yes, you're having a girl." Then he looked at her worriedly. "I hope you don't mind me telling you that."

Emma shook her head and she felt the tears in her eyes.

A girl.

She had been so sure that it would be a boy. A boy who looked exactly like his dad in her imagination. And while she would love him, and already did love him, he would be a constant reminder of a time she wasn't proud of whenever she looked at him.

But now…

"She'll be just as perfect as her mom," she heard Killian say and looked at him. He too had tears in his eyes, but smiled widely at her. Before she could say anything, he leaned toward her and kissed her temple. His lips were lingering on her skin just a little bit longer than necessary, but it was enough to make her heart skip a beat. "She'll be the most beautiful little girl, just like you have been when we were kids."

Before she could stop herself, her lips were pressed against his, her hand resting on his cheek. She felt the warmth on her cheeks when realization of what she had just done hit her and she slowly pulled back, not daring to look at Killian for a long moment. When she had finally gathered enough courage to look up, she saw that he was watching her with wide eyes, his fingers on his lips as if he couldn't believe what had just happened.

She barely heard what the doctor said before he left the room. She and Killian were alone, looking at each other but not saying a word. Finally he cleared his throat and murmured "I should let you get dressed", before leaving the room.

The moment she was alone, she closed her eyes, cursing herself. So much for not making things awkward between them…