ok so there's gonna be mistakes.

The next chapter might be the last.

Thank you so much for waiting. This chapter was like pulling teeth. I feel like it could have been better but I just couldn't get the right words out.

Enjoy and please review

Chapter 17 Dark Cloud

It was late into the night by the time they made it back to Storybrooke. It would be sunrise in just a few hours. Something in Regina must have change during their drive back. She was open. Her walls were down and she had even admitted to Emma she loved her. Even after all that has happened, she seemed happy. And then she fell asleep.

When Emma shook her awake and Regina realized they were parked outside of the Storybrooke hospital, Emma knew right away something was different. It was as if a dark cloud had settled over the brunette. Her mood was dark. Her walls were up and she wouldn't look Emma in the eyes.

Something was going on in that head of hers. She was working herself up over doubts and dark thoughts. Emma could see it in the way her jaw was set and how her eyes lacked emotion. She adjourned the mask of the Madame Mayor she had met upon her arrival to Storybrooke. The mask of the Queen she once was.

"I told you I wanted to go home," she said, her tone clipped.

"I know," Emma said softly. "But your shoulder, Regina… It doesn't look good. Plus you had drugs in your system and you were hit over the head." Emma reached out as if to examine the wound on the back of her head, but Regina flinched away.

"Don't…" she whispered. "It's not bleeding anymore."

Emma tried hiding the hurt in her eyes. It didn't mattered if she succeeded because Regina's gaze was fixed on some point in front of her. "Just let the doctors take a look at it," she pleaded. "And I know you're in pain. Your shoulder could be dislocated again or worse, broken."

She didn't speak. If anything Regina seemed to get further away from her emotionally.

Emma shook her head, not knowing what to say or do. She didn't want Regina to be in anymore pain. She took the keys out of the ignition and got out of the car. She shut the door and went around to Regina's side. She opened the door and knelt in front of her.

"Can you look at me?" she asked and when there was still no answer, Emma reached out and gently turned her chin towards her. Regina's eyes were dark and Emma wondered what could have provoked her into shielding herself.

Maybe it was the hospital, Emma suddenly came to the realization. Maybe she was afraid and was trying to hide it and was slipping into old defense mechanisms.

"I know you're… tired," she said. "I know you want to go home, especially after everything you have been through. I also know you're in pain. You can't even move your shoulder. I know you're afraid…" Emma whispered that last part, not exactly sure what kind of reaction she'll get.

Regina moved away from Emma's hand and her eyes once again were staring straight.

"I'm not afraid," she practically growled, too proud to admit it.

"Then why won't you walk into that hospital?"

She didn't answer. She couldn't answer because Emma was right and instead she took off her seatbelt. Emma stood and backed away as Regina finally got out of the car.

"Fine, but I'm going home after and by home I don't mean that shack of Snow's you been forcing me to stay in," she snapped, walking towards the hospital doors and leaving a simmering Emma standing behind her. She took a deep breath, trying not to let Regina get to her and followed the stubborn woman inside.

Turns out the bastard really did a number on the former queen. Her shoulder was once again dislocated and was now back in a sling. Her wounds were checked and cleared and she was now finally able to go home. She was exhausted both emotionally and physically but she was too wound up to relax. Emma could see it. She knew Regina didn't feel safe after what had happened. She saw how she flinched away from the doctors and nurses that treated her.

Regina tried hiding it, but Emma saw it. She saw it in her eyes and the way she couldn't seem to calm herself. She kept wringing her hands. She was still shaking and she was uncomfortable with any kind of touch. She kept those walls up and that mask on. She was keeping everyone at arm's length, including Emma. She tried talking to her, but Regina only responded in short half-hearted replies.

The yellow bug pulled up infront of the mansion. The tension was so thick Emma felt as if she were suffocating in it. Regina was lost in her headspace and she once again wondered for the millionth time what on earth happened during the drive back to make her completely shut down.

She turned off the engine and pulled the keys from the ignition. She looked at Regina. Her gaze was fixed straight ahead, her eyes cold and her face so distant. It was as if she were in the past and looking at the Madame Mayor she had first met years ago.

"You could talk to me, you know," she said, her voice cutting through the silence and Regina turned to her but wouldn't meet her gaze.

"I'd like to go inside now."

It felt like a slap to the face. Emma didn't know what to say or do to get Regina to talk to her. To take off the guarded mask and tear down the walls. She didn't even know how to get the brunette to look at her. Regina was so closed off and Emma didn't know how to pull her out.

"You want me to stay?" she asked quietly, not wanting her to be alone tonight despite the deep hurt Emma felt.

"No," Regina whispered, her voice trembling and of course she tried hiding it. She felt guilty for the way she had brushed Emma off. She felt guilty for denying her because she wanted Emma to stay. To hold her as she slept but she couldn't allow that luxury when she didn't deserve it. She felt sick and disgusted with herself.

Hurt flashed in those green eyes and then that hurt turned into anger. Emma couldn't understand what was making Regina push her away. She so desperately wanted to be with her but Regina was refusing to even let her in.

"What is going on in that head of yours?" she asked sharply, not meaning to sound so harsh but feelings were hurt and Emma was losing her patience.

Regina looked at her with fiery eyes and Emma saw no trace of the woman who claimed she loved her only hours ago.

"Wouldn't you like to know," she snarled, her defenses rising and she moved to get out of the car until she felt Emma grabbing her wrist. "Get your hand off me before I burn it off!"

Emma tore her hand away at the harsh threat.

"What's wrong with you?" she snapped and she could have sworn she saw a flicker of guilt in those brown eyes before they hardened. "You're pushing me away. Was it something I said?"

Regina didn't speak. She rolled her eyes and got out of the car. Emma muttered a curse under her breath and rushed after her.

"Hey! Stop!" she yelled, running up the walkway and catching up to her. Regina was on the porch and she turned to Emma who was standing breathless on the steps. "Look, I know you went through a lot tonight. I know how that bastard made you feel, but I don't know what you're thinking. I don't know why you're pushing me away all of a sudden."

"No! You don't know how he made me feel!" Regina was suddenly moving forward until she was right in her face. "You don't even know the half of it!"

"Then tell me!" Emma urged her and Regina couldn't because she couldn't admit to how weak she felt. How much of a victim she felt as if she were that young girl once again trapped beneath her husband or being restrained with magic by her mother. She couldn't let Emma see the weak woman she allowed herself to become. That was why she was pushing her away. She had realized it the moment she woke up and saw they were parked outside of the hospital.

"You said you loved me…" Emma said quietly when Regina didn't respond. "Is that at least true?"

Those words were what pulled Regina out of her headspace for just a moment. The fury in her eyes disintegrated and Emma could see just a hint of the Regina she knew.

"Of course it is Emma," she sighed, the bite in her tone gone and her eyes soft. She looked so exhausted suddenly.

"Do you trust me?" Emma asked.

"Yes, but… I just… I can't Emma," she said, her voice trembling. She stepped back and Emma advanced on her, gripping her upper arms, and holding her close to her. She didn't want to lose her to the demons in her mind again.

"I can give you space if that's what you need," Emma spoke through threatening tears that welled up in her eyes but haven't fallen. "I don't want to push you on this and I know you'll just keep shutting me out if I do."

"Emma…" Regina's voice shook as she realized what the blonde woman was doing. Emma was crying now and Regina couldn't stop the slow tears from streaming down her own cheeks.

"I love you," Emma whispered, kissing her and then pulling back and drying the tears from her cheeks.

"You're leaving me…" Regina whispered and Emma shook her head.

"No, I could never leave you but right now you need time. You don't want me here and I can't stay if you won't talk to me. I can't stay if you don't trust me enough to not push me away. It'll tear us apart if I don't walk away now. If you want to talk, I'll be here when you're ready."

Regina didn't dare shed anymore tears even if she felt like crying. She didn't want Emma to leave. She understood. Emma couldn't get through to her and Regina couldn't bring herself to let her in. She was afraid and she watched with a broken heart as Emma walked away.

"How long has she been sitting there?" Snow asked Ruby when they came into the diner the next morning. After leaving Regina's that previous night, she was too heartbroken to go home. She just drove to the docks and sat on the bench until morning came. It wasn't until her face felt numb from the cold did she finally get up and go to the diner for some coffee. Except now that coffee sat infront of her, cold and untouched.

That was how Snow found her the moment she walked in. Her daughter was sulking at the bar with a cold cup of coffee. She looked exhausted and her eyes were red and bloodshot. Was she crying?

"She came in 20 minutes after we opened," Ruby replied and Snow mentally counted in her head that Emma's been sitting here for at least an hour already.

"She texted me last night that Regina was safe and when she never came home I figured she stayed at the mansion. Did she say anything?" Snow asked, worried that something had happened to her former stepmother.

Ruby shook her head, her eyes full grief at seeing her friend like this. "She won't talk to me. She came in, ordered coffee, and then I called you."

"I'll talk to her," Snow said, reaching out and softly squeezing Ruby's hand in thanks before moving to her daughter. She sat beside her and tried to meet her gaze.

"Do you want to talk about it?" she asked softly and Emma finally looked at her mother. Throughout all of the chaos, she and Regina never did discuss how they would tell her parents. She was sure they wouldn't approve but now Emma didn't think there was a relationship to approve of anymore.

"We were together." She said it straight out and Snow was caught off guard. Her mouth fell open in shock but then she closed it and let out a small chuckle.

"Oh Emma, I knew it'd happen sooner or later."

Now it was Emma's turned to be shocked.

"What?!"

"The way you two look at each other. The way you bicker and then how protective you became of her after Khan's attack. You two have a history and it's a wonder you two didn't get together sooner."

"We don't bicker!" Emma protested and Snow gave her a look that said she wasn't convinced.

"So you broke up with her?" Snow asked and Emma sighed, the events from last night still so fresh in her mind.

"No, we're taking a break."

"A break from a relationship that's only a few days old?" Snow asked and Emma rolled her eyes.

"It's complicated. She kept pushing me away. She admitted she loved me in Atlantic City but the moment I brought her back here she closed herself off. She won't talk to me and she was just so hostile and cold like… It was as if she was the woman I met when Henry first brought me here. She needed space and so I gave it to her. I didn't leave her."

"She's been through a lot, Emma," Snow said softly, reaching out and squeezing her hand in order to comfort her daughter. "She had to make herself strong, so when she feels weak she puts up this mask. She shuts down and makes it nearly impossible to reach her."

"I know. I saw it tonight," Emma sighed, not knowing what to do. She wanted to be with Regina, to hold her and to love her, but how could she when she was shutting her out. "What do I do?" she asked her mother, looking at her with pleading eyes.

"Give her a couple of days to cool down," Snow said softly. "Let her process everything that's happened and then go to her. Just don't wait too long."

"Ok," Emma said, taking a breath and feeling herself becoming more at ease with her mother's advice. She'd wait a couple days and then go to Regina and remind her just how much she was loved. That she wasn't alone. That she had family.