When Ezra arrived at the hospital a few of the nurses looked at him strangely, and he realized it was probably because he was by himself. "Agent Standish what can we do for you today?" The nurse at the reception desk of the ER asked him. Sighing Ezra answered "I had a case." The nurse nodded as though that explained perfectly why he was dripping blood from a head wound, favoring his left shoulder and limping. "Let me get you onto an exam room, and we can worry about the paper work later." She said sympathetically. "Will Agent Larabee and the others be following?" she asked, probably wondering whether to warn the other nurses or not. "No ma'am the rest of the team is on vacation for the weekend." She just nodded and then led the bleeding agent to a small room to wait for the doctor. Before she could leave Ezra took a deep breath and said quietly "I will be requiring a rape kit." He looked away at her sharp intake of breath not wanting to see her reaction. He felt her eyes on him, and heard her nod. "I understand, I will notify the doctor." Then she left, and Ezra was left alone to wait.
Gingerly he sat down on the edge of the examination table. He took in the posters around the room reading each one, anything to keep his mind off of what was going to happen next. After what seemed like an eternity a man dressed in white scrubs walked into the room. "Hello my name is Ryan and I am a Sexual Assault Nurse Examiner. I am sorry but I'm am the only SANE nurse on duty tonight so I will be performing your exam if that is alright with you. However if you would prefer a female examiner I'm sure that we can call one in." the man offered. Ezra stiffened but then decided that he just wanted to get this over with. "You doing it will be fine." He told the nurse. The nurse smiled acceptingly "I will go slow, and tell you what is going on each step of the way." He informed Ezra. "I understand that you are a federal agent, but you still have a choice, do you want me to call the police to come and take a statement or is there someone else I need to call about this?" Ezra let out a breath "The local SVU will be fine, but before we start I want to be clear, no one from my team or the ATF is to know about this." His green eyes hardened, and the nurse nodded. "The only people who will know are those you choose to tell. It is illegal for anyone at this hospital to divulge your medical information to anyone else. Now, the first step is we need to collect your clothing for evidence." Ezra nodded grimly logically he knew that since he was filing a police report on the attack, and would need to file an after action report on the mission that he would have to tell the others, or at the very least Chris, eventually. He just wanted to do it in person, not let them hear second hand.
Determinedly he stepped onto the two large pieces of paper the nurse had laid down on the floor. Slowly he undressed, the nurse assisted him when he asked with getting his shirt off over his injured shoulder, causing Ezra to break out in a cold sweat as he bit back a scream. The nurse carefully collected all the clothing and even his shoes, clearly labeling them in bags, even collecting the paper on which Ezra had stood. The nurse took pictures of the bruising and wounds on Ezra's body. Then he asked Ezra to lay on his side on the exam table. Ezra did so, only a thin hospital gown covering his body. He felt his face flame with shame as the nurse assisted him in positioning himself for the exam. He concentrated on Ryan's soothing voice as he walked Ezra through each step of the procedure. Carefully collecting evidence, and taking more pictures as he went. Finally Ryan paused and said, "I'm going to examine you for internal injuries now do you understand?" Ezra nodded but as the exam progressed he had to bite back a whimper as the emotions he had been trying to hold back flooded through him and tears streamed down his cheeks. The rest of the exam was finished quickly, and then Ezra was wheeled down to x-ray.
After the x-ray was finished Ezra was placed back in the small exam room and the doctor finally entered. He cleaned and stitched the cut on Ezra's head, wrapped his bruised ribs, treated the burn, and bandaged the bite mark on his neck, then he placed Ezra's left arm in a shoulder immobilize that strapped the upper arm and wrist to Ezra's body in a special sling, other internal injuries were sewn up also. Finally the doctor wrote out several prescriptions for various things. The doctor explained to Ezra that his shoulder was badly broken, and he was going to need surgery to replace the shoulder, he told Ezra he wanted to admit him to the hospital for the rest of the night and observe him due to the concussion, and if all was well they could do surgery in the morning. He assured Ezra that he would be released in a day or two after surgery, as long as he promised to follow up as directed. He also told Ezra that the local LEO's were waiting to talk to him. Ezra nodded wearily and was escorted to a conference room where he could talk to the police in private.
He gave the officers a thorough statement, and again begged them not to tell his team. They agreed that since the team had not been involved they could be left out of the investigation. Since Ezra had named his attacker, but also told them that he was most likely in Canada by now. There was not really a lot they could do about it other than place him on a list that they were to be notified in the event he tried to return to the USA. Ezra understood this, and hadn't really expected anything more, he had simply decided to report it because he was already seeking treatment for his injuries, and of it did come to a court case, and he didn't want Danielson to get off because he hadn't said anything. After the police had finished with him, Ezra wearily allowed himself to be led to a hospital room.
Ezra slept fitfully that night. Nightmares haunting him as well as the nervousness he felt about facing the upcoming surgery alone. He berated himself for his weakness. Why should he desire to pull the others away from their weekend plans just so they could sit with him in the hospital? The next morning the nurses came in to prepare him for surgery, they started IV lines on his good arm, and put in a catheter. The nurses again asked if they should contact anyone, and he almost said yes, but he stopped himself and just shook his head instead. He was not allowed anything to eat because of the surgery but he didn't mind as he didn't think he could have kept anything down anyway. A short time later he was rolled into surgery and the anesthesia was injected into his IV.
The surgeon came to visit Ezra after he was out of recovery. He explained the recovery process Ezra would be in the hospital another two days, and need to stay in the immobilizer for about three weeks. After that he still would need a sling but would be allowed to do passive exercises, and he would have regular physical therapy. He was under no circumstances to do anything excessive with his new shoulder until he was cleared be the doctor. He had a follow up appointment scheduled the next Friday. Then the doctor left and Ezra was once again alone as he tried to figure out how to explain to Chris that his undercover agent would have an obvious injury for probably the next month or more.
It was early Sunday afternoon before Ezra was released from the hospital with a stern warning to take his medication and show up for the follow up visits. When Ezra reached his apartment he let himself in. He sighed so much had changed just since he had left his apartment. Barefoot and still dressed in the hospital scrubs Ezra made his way over to the couch. Gingerly he lay down wincing each injury made itself known. After a moment of trying to get comfortable he realized that however he lay he was aggravating one injury or another. Finally he settled on laying on his right side, where the only injuries were the bruising on his hip from being held down and rammed into the table, and the bite mark between shoulder and neck on that side. He had a little less than 24 hours to recuperate before he needed to be back at work and ready to go. Ezra fought sleep hating the images that danced before him every time he closed his eyes, but slowly exhaustion overtook him and he fell asleep on the couch.
A few hours later Ezra woke from a nightmare. At first he was confused, why was he laying on the couch, but a split second later everything came flooding back. And Ezra made a dash for the bathroom. He knelt in front of the toilet vomiting, he hadn't eaten anything solid in over 72 hours so there was little in his stomach to come up. He stood up and walked to the sink rinsing his mouth to get rid of the taste of the acid in his mouth. Looking in the mirror he saw the black stitches on his forehead standing out in stark contrast to his pale skin. He winced and turned away. He felt so dirty, he needed a shower. He turned the shower water on as hot as it could go. Stripping out of the borrowed clothing he stepped into the shower, careful of his arm he scrubbed everywhere he could reach, feeling Danielson's touch all over his body. Finally when the hot water ran out he got out and dried himself off. Wrapping a towel around his waist he headed for the bedroom to find clothes. After a bit of indecision he decided on a loose pair jeans and a t-shirt. Still barefoot he padded back into the living room and resumed his position on the couch.
Knowing that he wasn't going to be able to go back to sleep he picked up the TV remote and started flipping channels, landing on a crime drama about a con man who now worked with the FBI. Ezra watched the show only half interested. Finally he turned off the TV and went into the kitchen, the doctor had told him that he might be sore down there for a while and that soft foods would be best to help with that. With that in mind Ezra made himself an omelet from egg whites for supper. The smell of the food made him nauseous again, he was unsure whether this was due to stress, a leftover from the concussion he had suffered, or a side effect the medication he had been given in the hospital. He forced himself to eat a few bites before throwing the rest in the garbage can.
Then he pulled out the little bag with the prescriptions that he had filled at the hospital pharmacy. As he looked them over it hit him prophylactic HIV medications meant he might have contracted HIV. He remembered Ryan, the nurse, explaining how the first blood test would not show up positive if he had contracted HIV during the rape, a positive result would mean he had already had HIV previously. The test had been negative, which was why they had prescribed the prophylactics against infection, but even that was no guarantee he would be safe. Naturally he knew what antibiotics and painkillers were for, he had taken them enough times when one of the missions went south, and he had ended up with a bullet in him. After struggling to open the child safety lids on the bottles he finally was able to hold the bottles between his knees and use his good hand to open the bottles. He laid out the pills, including a pain pill, because his shoulder was starting to throb fiercely, and tossed back the whole handful at once, washing them down with the coffee from his failed attempt at a meal.
Ezra paced the floor restlessly. Usually he enjoyed having time alone to himself in his apartment but right now he felt a need to be around people. Looking at the clock on the wall he saw that it was almost five o'clock he wondered if JD and Buck were home yet from their weekend activities. He picked up the phone and dialed the number from memory. JD picked up on the second ring. When Ezra identified himself JD teased him about being out of bed. When Ezra asked about their plans for the night JD had told him they were going to have a movie night, and invited him over. Ezra accepted and hung up the phone.
Half an hour later Ezra found himself knocking on the door of Buck and JD's apartment. JD opened the door energetically, pausing when he saw Ezra's arm and head.
"Hey Ez, what happened to you?"
Ezra suddenly remembered what he looked like and that JD probably didn't even know about the case. "It's rather a long story, if I could come in I will get you up to speed."
Looking sheepish JD moved aside to allow Ezra to enter. Ezra settled himself on the couch covering a wince as he sat down. Just then Buck entered from the kitchen. "JD where did you put the…" his voice trailed off as he noticed Ezra sitting on the couch. "Hey Ez, JD said you were coming' over, what happened?" Ezra sighed
"If you will both sit down I will tell you, you will find out tomorrow anyway." The two men did as Ezra had requested Buck taking an arm chair and JD on the opposite end of the couch with his legs pulled up under him so he could face Ezra. "You remember the Danielson case?" Ezra asked knowing that they would, they nodded and he continued. "Ah received a tip Thursday night, well Friday morning technically. Mah informant said that Danielson was planning to take guns out of the country from Canada via the train. Ah called Mr. Larabee and he arranged for me to meet Team Six at the train station as backup." His accent was leaking through more than usual, the only sign that he was distressed. His poker face was firmly in place. He blew out a breath, how could he have been so stupid as to go in without backup? He looked at the two faces waiting expectantly. "Danielson was early." He sighed. Buck looked at Ezra with sudden under understanding, "You went in alone." It wasn't really a question.
"Yes."
"What happened?" JD prompted.
"He made me, ah am still unsure how, but nevertheless he did. He had gone into the restroom, and ah was following him when he attacked me." Ezra decided he did not care to share the exact nature of the attack. Not yet. "He got away." He whispered. Buck cursed. "I 'spose Chris already knows?"
"He knows ah was attacked, and that Danielson got away yes. As for the extent of mah injuries, ah drove mahself to the hospital after updating Team Six."
"Why didn't you ride in the ambulance? Why drive yourself?" JD questioned curiously picking up on that particular detail. Ezra just looked at him calmly.
"There was no ambulance."
"You mean they saw you were injured and didn't call an ambulance?" JD was incredulous. Ezra just shrugged. "They were a bit preoccupied with the fact that ah had lost Danielson." The excuse sounded hollow even to his own ears. Buck interjected then "Ez, why didn't you come over sooner?"
"Ah was rather busy recuperating in the hospital from surgery." He said mildly.
"Surgery?! Did you get shot or somethin'?"
"No, but Danielson broke my shoulder, and it had to be replaced. I was only released a few hours ago." The other two men studied him, no wonder he looked pale. "Why didn't you call us earlier?" JD asked.
"Ah saw no need for the rest of you to interrupt your holiday plans for mahself." He replied. Buck could tell that Ezra truly felt that way. Anytime Ezra got so much as a paper cut, he whined and moaned about it for the rest of the day, but if it was something serious, like when he had dislocated his shoulder, or been shot, he barely said a word. Somewhere along the way someone, and Buck had a pretty good idea who, had drilled it into Ezra's head that he was not worth the effort, that no one truly cared how he felt. Joining team seven had gone a long way towards correcting that training, but old habits die hard. The thought of Ezra suffering alone in the hospital because he didn't want to interrupt anyone's plans saddened Buck. "Ez, we would have understood if you had called." He reached a hand out and settled it on the undercover agent's good shoulder. Ezra started and jerked away so fast that he fell off the couch and landed on the floor. He let out a hiss of pain as he landed on his burned hip. Flinching he rose to his feet avoiding the outstretched hands of the two men who were trying to help him up.
"Ez, are you ok?" JD's concerned voice cut through Ezra's humiliation. "Ah'm fine JD." The southerner tried to reassure the younger agent. "Ah lost mah balance is all." Fighting the instinct to flee he sat back down on the couch, shifting his weight to take the pressure off of the burned area. "So you have heard about mah weekend, now tell me about yours." He forced a small smile. JD looked unsure at first, but then apparently deciding that Ezra was not going to say anything else, he shrugged and started to talk about his Comic-Con conference.
Ezra found himself relaxing listening to the familiar voice, and gradually he let his eyes close. Buck remembering the extreme reaction Ezra had had to being touched earlier, decided not to attempt to move the undercover agent, simply covering him with a throw blanket, and leaving him to rest on the couch. Quietly Buck motioned to JD and they both slipped from the room. Frowning into the darkness Buck made a mental note to talk to Chris in the morning, someone was going to explain why their agent had been forced to drive himself to the hospital for the treatment of injuries that had hospitalized him for two days.