It was right at the tail end of their four weeks of rehearsal, before heading out on her second arena headline tour, when Rayna heard about Deacon's girlfriend. When she first heard the news, she wasn't sure she believed it. Even though she still felt a little pang of hurt every time, she'd accepted him taking off with a girl who hung around after a show or one who chatted him up at an after party. Deacon was a good-looking man and, even if small talk wasn't his thing, he could certainly have his eye turned by a pretty girl. And she certainly had no right to care, to be hurt by it. She wondered if it was one of them, one of the women he'd gone off with during their last tour.
Their own relationship had settled into something reasonably comfortable. It seemed that, once they had acknowledged the need to move on, there was more of an ease between them. They still didn't talk about much more than set lists or song arrangements, only lightly touching on more personal matters. They weren't writing together. He'd inquired, more than once, but she'd felt unsure, and eventually he'd dropped it. He'd come on the bus more often these days, but it was usually to play with Maddie, although he wouldn't stay long. Her now three year old daughter was enchanted by him and loved to sit beside him while he played guitar and sang for her.
It always broke her heart a little, to see him sitting there with the little girl who was his daughter and him not know it. His smile was always so genuine and he always had big hugs for Maddie. She was pleased to see him staying sober, but she always felt a little wistful when she thought about it. If only he'd been like this back then, when she got pregnant with Maddie. Then the three of them could have been a family. But then she'd shake her head, knowing it wasn't worth dwelling on. It was all in the past. She was married to Teddy and he was a good husband and father. Even watching the bond develop between Deacon and Maddie, she knew that she would honor the promise she'd made to Teddy.
She found out about Deacon's girlfriend when Bucky called her a couple nights before they were headed out for the tour. "Hey, Buck, what's up?" she asked.
He cleared his throat. "I just wanted to run something past you, so you aren't caught off guard," he said.
She frowned. "What?"
"I just heard that Deacon's going to be bringing someone out on the first weekend of the tour." He paused a second. "A girlfriend."
She felt a little sick to her stomach. Surely it wasn't that. "You mean one of the girls he's picked up before? A groupie?" She hated using that word and she hated that Deacon let himself get caught up in that kind of thing.
"No, not a groupie," Bucky said. "A girlfriend. Apparently he's been seeing someone. Someone he met after we came off the last tour." Rayna was silent. "Rayna? You still there?"
She swallowed hard. "Yeah, Buck," she said softly, her voice not much above a whisper. "Maybe I shouldn't be surprised, but I guess I am a little. Do you know anything about her?"
"Well, I really don't know much, except her name is Taylor. I guess we'll be meeting her in Memphis."
After they hung up, Rayna paced around the den, twisting her hands in front of her. Why didn't he tell me himself? In all these weeks of rehearsal, how come he never said a word? Is he embarrassed? Is he afraid to tell me?
"Hey, babe," Tandy said as Rayna let her in the house. She reached in and hugged her sister. "How are you?"
Rayna held on to her tightly. "I'm okay," she replied. She stepped back and gave Tandy her performance smile. "I'm so glad to see you. Maddie will be thrilled."
Tandy looked around. "Is she up?"
Rayna shook her head. "She's taking a nap. But she'll be up soon, I'm sure."
Tandy looped her arm through Rayna's as they walked into the den. "So tell me what's going on with you? When do you leave?"
Rayna waited until they were settled on the couch. She turned to Tandy and made a face. "In three days. We're just winding up rehearsals." She ran her fingers over the back of the couch.
Tandy frowned a little. "What's going on, sweetheart? You sounded kind of out of sorts on the phone."
Rayna shrugged. "I'm okay. I guess, just getting anxious. Like always." She tapped her fingers on the couch again and then looked at her sister. "Deacon has a girlfriend."
Tandy made a face. "What?" Then she frowned. "Why do you care?"
Rayna rolled her eyes. "I don't care. I just…well, I guess I just was surprised." She knew Tandy was not a Deacon fan, and had joined Teddy in questioning her decision to bring him back to her band, and she didn't want to fight with her.
Tandy narrowed her eyes as she considered that. "I think you do care, babe. But you made a decision a long time ago that he wasn't going to be in your life. Letting him back in your band means you have to take the good with the bad."
"I get that," Rayna said, glaring at her sister. She wished she'd never brought it up. She'd just needed to say it out loud, hoping that would make it hurt less. Except it didn't. And Tandy had clearly been the wrong person to talk about it with.
"So, what, did you think he'd never get over you? That you could move on but he couldn't?"
Rayna stood up and stalked off to the kitchen. "Just shut up, Tandy!" she shouted. She picked up the tea kettle and slammed it down on the stove, turning on the gas.
Tandy had turned on the couch so that she could see Rayna in the kitchen. She took a deep breath. "Sweetheart, you made your choice," she said, her voice filled with more compassion this time. "And he gets to make his."
Rayna felt the fight go out of her and her shoulders slumped just a little. "I know," she said. "I just guess I never thought about it like that. But you're right. I can't expect him to just pine away for, I don't know, the past, or something."
Tandy got up then and walked over to where her sister was. She put her hand on Rayna's arm and squeezed gently. "Look, I know it was hard on you back then. I'm not totally oblivious to that, even though I wanted you to move on. But you did and you have this great family. Everything you ever wanted. Now it's time for you to let him go. For good."
Rayna sighed and looked back at Tandy. "You're right," she said sadly. "I do have that family I wanted and a nice, normal life." She gave her sister a tiny smile. "I need to focus on that." She leaned in and hugged her sister. I do have the perfect life. So why does it not feel like enough?
~nashville~
This thing with Taylor had taken Deacon by surprise. It had started as something casual. He'd met her at the park near his house, about a month before Rayna's last tour ended. He didn't go there often, but had needed to get out of the house that day. It was nice to have a couple days off and it was a nice spring day. He'd headed over with his guitar and had sat along the rock wall and worked on some music. He was playing around town when they were off the road and he needed to build up his catalog for the next down cycle.
He was so engrossed in his music that he wasn't paying attention to the people passing by him. The park was filled with families and groups of young adults, playing Frisbee and volleyball and enjoying the beautiful day. There were walking trails and a fair number of people were walking or jogging. He was brought back to the present when he heard a female voice nearby say "Shit! Ow!"
He looked up and saw a young woman on the trail, sitting and holding her ankle. He set his guitar down and hustled over, looking down at her with a concerned look. "You okay?" he asked.
She looked up at him with a pained look on her face. "I stepped on a rock or something. Twisted my ankle, I think," she said.
He reached his hand down to her. "Here, let me help you up," he offered.
She looked at him for a second and apparently decided he was safe. She smiled a little hesitantly, but took his hand and let him help her up. "Thanks," she said.
He glanced over to the rock wall, where he'd been sitting. "Can you make it over here? Sit down a minute?"
She nodded and then tentatively put some weight on the injured foot. She winced and moaned a little, but managed to hobble the short distance and then sat down. He had followed her closely, in case she needed some help. She smiled. "Thanks."
He sat down next to her. She was a pretty girl, her blonde hair pulled back into a ponytail, and she was wearing bike shorts and an Atlanta Falcons t-shirt. Her eyes were a soft brown and she had the light sheen on her face of a runner. "You need some help to your car or anything? Or you just wanna sit here a minute?" he asked.
"I think it might just be a tweak. I'll just rest it a minute." She looked him over and then nodded at his guitar. "Are you one of those…what do they call them, buskers?" she asked.
He smiled and then chuckled a bit. "No, not a busker. Although I have been known to do that back in the day."
"But you are a musician, right? That's why you're out here in the park with a guitar. Musicians always have their guitar with them, like it's a third arm or something." She grinned.
He raised his eyebrows. "I guess. And yeah, I'm a musician. I'm in a band."
"Probably country music, judging from your jeans and cowboy boots, I'll bet," she said.
He nodded. "Yeah. You like country music?"
She shook her head a little apologetically. "Not really. I mean, it's okay, and, well, I am in Nashville, the home of country music. But it was never really my thing and I'm actually glad that's not all there is here." She leaned a little towards him. "So what band are you in?" She laughed. "Not that I've probably heard of it."
"Um, I play in Rayna Jaymes' band."
She bit her lip a moment, then shook her head. "That name sort of sounds familiar, but I don't really know who that is. Is she famous?"
He shrugged. "Kind of, I guess. She's right up there with Reba and Faith Hill and Martina McBride." He laughed. "Probably also people you've never heard of."
She laughed. "Yeah, pretty much." She looked at him carefully. "But that's good for you, right?"
He nodded. "Yeah, I guess." He breathed in. "I'm Deacon, by the way. Deacon Claybourne."
She put her hand out and he hesitated a second, then took it. "Nice to meet you, Deacon. And thanks for the rescue. I'm Taylor Montgomery."
He smiled. "Nice to meet you too, Taylor."
By the time he'd helped Taylor back to her car, he had her phone number and a date for the next evening.
He'd known right away that Taylor couldn't be a one-and-done. He hadn't been sure he was ready yet, even after nearly four years, to be in a relationship again, but she was different from those one-nighters, different than Rayna. She never did really embrace country music fully, but she was happy to tag along with him when he performed sets around town. He also saw Nashville from her point of view, letting himself try things like hiking and boating on Old Hickory Lake, going out to nicer restaurants, and even going with her once – just once – to the ballet.
Six weeks after he'd finished the tour, he'd convinced her to give up her apartment and move in with him. She'd asked him once about his relationship with Rayna, how he could work with her after having had such a long, tumultuous relationship. He'd been terse in his response, not really wanting to dig into all the complicated emotions he still had about working so closely with the woman he thought he'd spend his whole life with. He knew Taylor was smart and that she would probably look into things on her own, but she didn't pry and she didn't let it affect their relationship, and so he pushed all that aside.
He really hadn't been snooping. She was out running, her routine as soon as she got home. Her work tote was sitting on the kitchen counter and the magazine was in clear view. He didn't know if she'd meant for him to see it or not. It was the issue of Country Music magazine with Rayna on the cover and a small thumbprint picture of him in the bottom right corner. It had come out that fall after Rayna had broken up with him and fired him from her band. Rayna had always been a very private person and granted few interviews, and those she did were tightly managed. When he'd seen the article back then, he'd known the remarks attributed to her were pieced together from other interviews, but other people around town had clearly spoken freely.
The facts reported in the article were surprisingly accurate, even though the sources were mostly unnamed. Details about his multiple trips to rehab, drunk driving arrests, ER visits, bar fights, and his general unreliability as a performer were specific and painfully accurate. The article was not flattering to him and painted a picture of Rayna, not incorrectly, as a woman who stood by her man until she could no longer defend his behavior.
He pulled the magazine out and opened it to the article, titled 'Rayna Jaymes – Moving Forward At Last'. That had hurt, thinking she'd washed her hands of him gratefully. He didn't think it had been that easy, but things were so confused back then that he wasn't sure there wasn't a grain of truth in that assumption. There were several pictures of the two of them, from their early days. The photo of the two of them that still hung at the Bluebird. Several concert photos where they were so close to each other there wasn't a speck of space between them.
At the time the article was published, he'd just gone to rehab for the last time. He'd hated how he was portrayed as being like an albatross around her neck, dragging her down, putting her career at risk. It was one of the things he'd dealt with in rehab, the notion that he'd hurt her career-wise. He'd had to acknowledge he had been a liability. Every show he missed, every fight he got into, every trip to rehab and every public relapse had threatened to tarnish her reputation. The label had subtly tried to get her to drop him, numerous times, but she'd refused.
An anonymous, but 'highly placed', source at the label had recounted the trouble he'd caused for her and for the label, the public relations nightmare he had become. Rayna Jaymes had great credibility within the country music community and many strong allies, most of whom privately had counseled her to distance herself from him. She had resisted – mainly because she loved him – even while she was privately being destroyed.
Every time he thought about everything he'd put her through, all the pain, all the broken promises, the fights, the break-ups, the angry, hurtful words, it all made his stomach turn over and his heart feel like it was being ripped in two. It had taken many weeks in rehab to finally understand how much of his past had led him to do all the things he'd sworn he never would, to the one person he loved more than his own life. It had cost him, in the end. Cost him everything.
He stood at the counter, the heels of his hands pressed tight against the edge of the counter, his eyes closed, breathing in slowly. He still regretted, more than anything, the pain he'd caused Rayna all those years. He'd loved her so much and he had never wanted to hurt her. Yet he did, again and again. Which was why he was watching her with her husband and daughter now. He could feel tears building in his eyes and he fought hard not to give in.
He didn't hear the front door open, but he heard Taylor's footsteps through the hall. "Hey," she said, then her voice trailed off.
He opened his eyes and rubbed his face with his hands, turning around to look at her. He worked his lip. "Hey," he said finally. He could feel a knot in his stomach, looking at her. She was sweet and pure and good, and he'd promised himself he wouldn't let the pain of losing Rayna destroy this.
She took a couple steps forward and glanced at the counter. She sighed. "I'm sorry about that," she said. "Someone at work gave it to me and I really should have just thrown it out. I meant to do that, actually."
He nodded. "Did you read it?"
"Yeah," she said quietly.
He swallowed. "Do you…do you want to talk about it?"
She shrugged. "I don't know." She looked away for a moment, then back at him. "How much of it is true?"
He put his hands on the counter and leaned back, working his lip. "A lot." He cleared his throat. "But I told you most of…."
She shook her head and waved her hand. "I know. I guess, I don't know, I was sort of surprised at how hurtful some people were. With the things they said." Then she breathed out, a deep, shuddering sound. "And I don't guess I realized how, um, connected you two were. I mean, it seemed really intense."
He raised his eyebrows a bit. "It was," he replied. "But I really hurt her, a lot. Mostly because of my drinking. It was tough, hard." He pushed himself away from the counter and walked over to her. He shoved his hands in his pockets. "But it's over, you know, I mean really over. She was seeing someone else and then they got married, and all that."
She looked at him intently. "I get it," she said. "When you've been with someone that long, it's gotta be tough. Not easy to untangle." She tried to smile. "Isn't it hard to work with her?"
He shrugged. "It was, at first. But, you know, we always made good music together, so we just focus on that."
She nodded, then walked around him to the counter. She closed the magazine and picked it up, then walked over to the trash with it and tossed it out. Then she turned back to him as he watched her carefully. "It's your past," she said. "This is now. That's what I plan on focusing on." She smiled. "How about you?"
He walked over to her and put his arms around her. He relaxed when he felt her slide her arms around his waist, holding him tightly against her. "Yeah," he said. "Sounds good to me."
Deacon walked into the house after rehearsal and immediately smelled something delicious. He made his way to the kitchen, where Taylor was prepping vegetables. He walked up behind her and kissed her neck. "This smells good," he said, with a smile.
She looked back at him with a wink. "I'm trying out a new shampoo," she said. Then she laughed.
He leaned back against the counter, facing her. "You spoil me," he said.
She made a face. "It's just chicken and vegetables. Not like it's some kind of Julia Child recipe."
He grinned. "I don't know what that is, but what I smell is good." He looked at her for a moment, as though he wanted to say something.
She spread the vegetables on a tray and sprayed them with olive oil, adding salt and pepper. After she put them in the oven, she turned back to him. "What?" He raised his eyebrows. "You wanted to say something. Go ahead."
He reached for her and pulled her into his arms. "Go on tour with me," he said, his face inches from hers.
She put her hands on his chest and looked up at him. "I have a job, Deacon," she said, frowning a bit. "I can't just take off."
He leaned in and brushed her lips with a kiss. "That's not true. You can take some vacation time." He kissed her again. "Even if it's just a long weekend. I want you to come. I want you to see what I do."
She moved her hands down his chest and then around his waist. "I could do some long weekends, I guess. But, sweetie, you know I don't have a lot of vacation time. As fun as I think it would be to come out on the road with you, I can't do it a lot."
He kissed the tip of her nose. "I know. But I really want you to come this first weekend."
She smiled, then wriggled out of his grasp, opening up the cabinet and getting out plates and glasses. She took them over to the table. "Have you told Rayna?" she asked, without looking at him.
He frowned and breathed out. "I don't need to tell her everything," he said tersely.
She walked back to the drawer with the silverware and opened it, getting out what she needed, still not looking at him. "I don't want to be a surprise," she said.
He walked over to the counter and put his hands on it, tensing his arms. "I still don't know why you had to go look at all that stuff. Half of it ain't true anyway," he said.
She turned to look at him, leaning against the table. "What part isn't true? The part where the two of you were a couple for eleven years? Or where she stood by you while you went to rehab four times? Or that you still write songs about her?"
Her tone wasn't accusatory, just matter-of-fact, but Deacon felt anger rise in his chest. "That last part ain't all true. You know that. It's just people wanting to make it true." He put his hands behind his head and breathed in. "However long we were together and whatever happened then, it's over. She married someone else and had a baby. It ain't like we're still in love or anything."
Taylor walked over and put a hand on his chest. "I know that. Does she?" She raised an eyebrow at him. "How do you know how she feels?"
He shook his head. "It don't matter how she feels. She moved on. I did too."
She looked at him for a long moment. "Alright, I'll come," she said. "It's Memphis, right?" He nodded. "I can drive over and then drive back the next day. How does that sound?"
He smiled and kissed her. "Sounds great," he said.
~nashville~
Rayna walked out of her dressing room and headed towards the stage. She could hear SHeDAISY, her opening act, doing their set. As she approached the side stage, she could see Deacon and she smiled to herself. As she got closer, though, she could see that he was talking to a slender blonde, and suddenly she felt a twinge in her stomach. She really wanted to turn and walk off, but just then Deacon saw her and gave her an acknowledging nod. She couldn't very well turn and run now.
She smiled and lifted her hand in a wave and started for the steps. She felt nervous, although she had no reason to feel that way. I'm married, he's free to go out with anyone he wants. We're not together anymore. You have no right to be hurt. But she did feel hurt and she couldn't really explain why. She had been the one to break up with him, let him go and marry someone else. She was the one who'd moved on. He was just doing what she had done.
As she walked up the steps and started across the floor towards them, she kept the smile on her face, welcoming the people she passed. But even just peripherally, she kept Deacon and his lady friend in her view. She was young, she could tell, and pretty. Not surprising. Deacon would definitely go for someone pretty. She was dressed nicely, not like a groupie. She was wearing jeans and a gingham print blouse, with the sleeves rolled up. No boots, just slip-on shoes.
She widened her smile a bit as she approached them. "Hey, y'all," she said, reaching out to rub Deacon's arm briefly. She looked at the young woman with him, an expectant look on her face. "Hey, I'm Rayna," she said, reaching her hand out. She could almost feel Deacon's tension in that moment.
The woman took her hand and gripped it firmly, smiling back. "I'm Taylor. Taylor Montgomery," she said.
Rayna thought she had a lovely Southern accent. Not overly so, but it sounded cultured and classy. She glanced at Deacon and then back at Taylor. "You must be Deacon's girlfriend," she said. Deacon cleared his throat and she looked back at him. "Bucky told me she was coming."
"It's really nice to meet you, Ms. Jaymes," Taylor said. "I've heard a lot about you."
Rayna focused back on Taylor. "It's Rayna, please," she said, feeling an uncomfortableness she hoped she wasn't showing. "Are you a country music fan?"
Taylor shook her head, looking apologetic. "Actually, I'm not." She looked over at Deacon and gave him a tiny smile. "But I am learning to appreciate it. Deacon's introduced me to several places around Nashville where you can listen to songwriters and I've enjoyed that."
Rayna felt her heart sink just a bit. She actually seems very nice. "I hope he took you to the Bluebird. That's the best place to hear music."
Taylor nodded enthusiastically, reaching for Deacon's hand. "I got to hear him play there, actually. And it was a great experience, definitely."
Rayna realized Deacon had just stood there the entire time without speaking. She glanced at him quickly and thought he looked uncomfortable. Just like me. She laid a hand on each one's arm and smiled again. "I really need to make sure we're all set," she said. She looked at Taylor. "I'm so glad to meet you and I hope you enjoy the show." She turned to Deacon. "Thank you for bringing her. I hope you'll do it again."
She turned and walked off, not really caring whether or not she appeared rude. She just wasn't sure she could have stood there for one more second without bursting into tears. Tears she had no right to shed.
~nashville~
He didn't know why he'd never told her himself, about Taylor. It didn't have anything to do with Taylor, really. It had everything to do with him. In some ways, it had been no different than the way he'd found out about Teddy. He hadn't heard it from Rayna directly, had heard it from Watty. It had cut him to the core and he'd been angry. So angry that he'd gone to the apartment she'd rented and broken most of the furniture during a fight they'd had about it.
But it wasn't like it was her business. They weren't together, hadn't been in several years now. He didn't owe her explanations for how he lived his life. He wasn't her responsibility anymore, wasn't her problem. And so he'd just not addressed it. Decided he didn't have to tell her how he was living his life. Besides, what if he'd seen something in her eyes, in her face, that said 'that hurts'. What then?
He could tell every time he brought Taylor to a show that it made Rayna uncomfortable. Of course, she always put on her performance smile and she was nothing less than warm and welcoming. Taylor, of course, wouldn't have been able to see what was in Rayna's eyes, the way he could. It often made him wonder if there wasn't a small bit of her that missed what they had, that wasn't quite as happy as she wanted him to believe she was.
Of course, thinking that way only confused his own feelings. He'd been happy with Taylor, enjoyed her company much more than he'd expected. She was smart and funny and she made him laugh, lifted his spirits, made him believe he could move on with his life. But he couldn't completely turn off his feelings for Rayna and it bothered him. He was starting to be afraid he couldn't do this.
~nashville~
Rayna walked up behind Teddy as he was unbuttoning his shirt. She leaned into him, sliding her hands under his arms and then running her hands up his chest. She pressed herself into him and bit her lip gently as she heard him catch his breath. She pushed the fabric of his shirt aside and ran her hands over his bare flesh, moaning a little in her throat. Then she slid her hands down towards the waistband of his pants and slid her fingers just inside.
He turned to face her, his eyes questioning. She smiled at him and then leaned in to kiss his chest. When she looked back up at him, she ran her tongue over her bottom lip. "Let's make a baby," she purred. She was home for a couple days, midway through the tour, and she knew it was a good time. They had talked about it several times. Actually Teddy had done most of the talking, but she'd finally decided it might be a good thing.
He looked surprised. "Right now?" he asked, his voice cracking. "While you're still on tour?"
She shrugged. "If I get pregnant now, I'll just barely be five months along when the tour ends. And you're right, babe. Maddie will be four and that's a good age difference. Same as Tandy and me." She winked at him. "Besides, I want to make love to you. Right now."
She knew Teddy was always worried about her feelings for Deacon. Even though he was the one who was married to her and got to sleep next to her, she was sure he wondered, more than he let on. She'd given him no reason, since Deacon had come back into her band, for concern, but she wanted to reassure him. Sex reassured him. Sex with Teddy was usually gentle and almost reverent. She didn't think she'd ever screamed out his name or run her nails across his back or collapsed with sweat, having trouble catching her breath. Sex with Teddy never involved losing all her inhibitions or losing herself in the sensations. There were no fireworks with Teddy, but he loved her and adored her, that she knew for sure. That had been sufficient, all these years, even while she acknowledged she missed the other.
Right now, though, Teddy was her husband, and he wanted to know – needed to know – she was committed to him and she wanted to ease any fear he had. She loved being a mama, knew she'd been made for that, and having another baby was a small price to pay to let Teddy know she loved him. She did love him. Not in that all-consuming way, but she loved him just the same.
She reached for his hand and pulled him over to the bed. She undressed him, making sure to touch him lightly, lingering now and then, wanting to make sure he felt well-loved and desired. Then she pushed him down on the bed and did a seductive strip tease as he lay watching her. She could see how aroused he was and that pleased her. As she stepped out of her panties, she straddled him on the bed and guided him inside her. He slid his hands over her skin, touching and fondling her in ways she enjoyed. They found a good rhythm and moaned appreciatively, in the way they did. After he shuddered and called out her name and she rode out her gentle orgasm, she leaned down and kissed him, then rolled over next to him and ran her fingers over his chest, sighing contentedly.
They cuddled for a bit, Teddy kissing her gently, murmuring love words to her. When she finally turned onto her back, she laid her hand on her stomach and hoped he had gotten her pregnant that night.
~nashville~
It had been a great night in Dallas. The energy in the arena had been incredible. Deacon wasn't sure what had been different that night, but the show had felt inspired. When they came off the stage, Rayna turned to him out of habit. She put her hand on his arm and smiled up at him. "That felt great," she said. "Didn't it to you?""
He nodded and smiled back. "You killed it, Ray. Just like always." He put his hand on her arm. There was a moment when it felt like everything around them faded to black. He could see something there in her eyes. He felt that electricity he always did whenever they had occasion to touch or brush up against each other. It had taken a long time for them both to feel comfortable with any kind of physical touching, although he knew for him, at least, it brought up all kinds of long-repressed feelings.
"I really couldn't do this without you, Deacon," she said softly.
Deacon took a deep breath. Being this close to her always brought up all the old feelings. Even when he didn't want them to be there, it was hard. Now that they'd developed a more comfortable relationship, he'd find himself sometimes thinking back to the old days. Then the mood was broken by Maddie's little voice. "Mama!" she cried. They both turned to watch Rayna's little girl rush from the side stage. Rayna leaned down, her arms spread open as Maddie ran to her. He swallowed hard as he looked over to see first Teddy, a smirk on his face, and then Taylor, with a look in her eyes he couldn't quite read.