Deacon drew in a deep breath and headed towards Taylor, waiting for him on the side stage. She looked at him with an odd expression. "Can we talk a minute?" she asked.
He nodded. "Sure."
She shook her head. "Not here. Can we go somewhere private?"
He frowned. This didn't sound good. "We could go back to the hotel," he said.
He saw some kind of emotion briefly cross her face, but then she just looked at him with a calmness, a resoluteness even. She gave him a tiny smile. "Yeah, sure, that's fine."
She took his hands in hers and looked into his eyes. He could see sadness there and he was afraid he knew how this conversation was going to go. "I'm gonna go on back to Nashville tonight," she said. She squeezed his hands when she saw him start to say something. "Don't. Just let me finish." He sensed compassion in her voice, not what he would have expected.
"Okay," he said.
She ran her tongue over her lips. "I think you're still kind of in love with Rayna," she said quietly. "And I'm wondering if you're really ready to be all in with another relationship."
He frowned. "That ain't true," he protested. "You and me…this is good. We got a good thing."
She sat back. "We do. We did. But I'm not her. And I'm not sure you're really over her."
He leaned forward, his eyes filled with sadness. He had a lump in his throat. He didn't want it to be over. "I don't want you to go. It's just, you know, been hard being in her band," he said. "I…I love you." The words didn't feel quite right, but he really didn't want her to leave him.
She sighed, reaching out with her hand to smooth down his hair. "You don't have to say that, Deacon," she said sadly. "It's really okay. Y'all were together for a long time and it didn't seem like your break up was a really good one. But I can see it in your eyes, when you look at her, when you're on stage with her." She took a deep breath. "When her little girl came out tonight, I could see how much you wanted that all to be yours." She hesitated just a moment, then moved to sit on his lap, putting her arms around his shoulders. "You know, it's okay. This time together has been great. I care about you so much, but I don't want to get hurt. When it was just us, when we first met, it seemed different, but this is who you are. This is what you do. And I can't keep doing this. I keep telling myself I'm wrong, but I'm just not sure."
He had his arms around her waist and pulled her close. "Don't go tonight," he said. "It's late. We can talk about it tomorrow."
She shook her head. "I feel like if I don't go now, I won't. I want you to really think about this, about us, about her, and figure out where you want to be." She looked at him intently. "I'm not mad at you, Deacon. But I do feel sad for you. You need to figure out how to get past her. She's got a husband. And a family. I hate to see you pine away after something you can't have."
She tried to pull out of his arms, but he tightened his hold. "Please don't go," he pleaded. She bit her lip, looking uncertain, but she relaxed a bit. "You're right, she and me, we had this long, complicated relationship. And I didn't want it to be over. But she kicked me out, she married Teddy Conrad, and she's been real clear she's moved on." He sighed. "I been trying to do the same thing. You really helped. I don't wanna screw this up. Just tell me what you need and I'll do it."
A tear ran down her cheek and she swiped at it with the heel of her hand, then she looked away. "I don't know," she said, her voice catching. "I don't know if I can do this."
He moved his hand to her face and gently pressed her head to his shoulder. "I'm sorry, baby," he said. "I want you to stay. I'll do better. I promise."
She sighed and didn't move for a moment. Then she sat up and looked at him, putting her hands on his cheeks. "I'm gonna leave in the morning." He tensed as she said that. She looked at him intently. "I'll be there when you get back. But you've gotta figure this out. We'll talk when you're back in Nashville and see where we are." He breathed a sigh of relief, but then she frowned. "I don't know where we'll end up, Deacon. I've got a lot to think about too."
He nodded. "We'll figure it out," he said. "I promise."
The next morning, she left early. He'd fitted himself behind her in the bed, his arm tight around her waist, but they both had a restless night. She stood at the door and looked at him sadly. "I guess I'll see you in a couple weeks," was all she said. She reached out and put her hand on his cheek, then turned and, grabbing her suitcase, headed out the door.
He stood in the middle of the room, staring at the closed door. He rubbed his face with his hands, then breathed out. What am I supposed to do with this? It didn't matter if he wasn't over Rayna, was still in love with her. She was married. She and Teddy had a daughter. He'd destroyed the two of them back before he'd gone to rehab that last time. He knew Taylor was right, though. He did still love Rayna, would probably always love Rayna. But he needed to get past it. Figure out a way to fix this thing with Taylor. Somehow. Some way. He made an angry noise. What am I supposed to do with this?
~nashville~
Rayna pretended not to watch Deacon leave the stage, focusing on Maddie and then Teddy, who followed Maddie out. Teddy didn't often come out to visit, but this was a special weekend and she'd been glad he'd made the effort. He was leaving early the next morning, with Maddie, to do Christmas related activities. That it also happened to be a weekend when Deacon's girlfriend had come to visit was coincidence, but she was glad for Teddy to see that Deacon was moving on, at last. He had somewhat relaxed his hardline stance on Deacon, but she could still see the tension whenever the two crossed paths or when they were close by each other.
As she let Teddy take her in his arms, she half-closed her eyes but still could see Deacon and Taylor talk for a moment and then walk off. Not hand-in-hand as they usually did, but at a slight distance from each other. She wondered about that, if it meant anything. Her thoughts about the two of them had been all over the map. She knew she had no right to feel anything, but she did. It was hard to watch him with someone else, but she also realized it was probably hard for him to watch her with Teddy.
She reached her arm around and patted Teddy on the back. She stepped back from him and put on her performance smile. "Let's go, babe. I know y'all have to get up early, so we should get some sleep," she said.
Teddy kissed her. "I'm hoping we can have a little time together first," he said, with a smile. Then he picked Maddie up and, putting his arm around her waist, led them out of the arena.
Rayna took a deep breath. This is the life I chose. This will protect us.
~nashville~
After Taylor left, Deacon made his way to the rehearsal space at the arena. Usually he appreciated a multiple night stop on the tour, but he hadn't slept much after the conversation with Taylor. He needed to get some coffee right away. He was feeling rough, both physically and emotionally. He'd replayed the conversation over and over in his head. I hate to see you pine away after something you can't have. He rubbed his hands over his face. He'd tried so hard to make things work, but he realized he hadn't done enough. He couldn't have Rayna. Taylor had been right about that. He needed to focus on her.
He shook his head, hoping when he got back to Nashville that they still had a chance. He walked up to the craft services area and straight for the coffee station. He poured a cup, forgoing any sugar, needing the bitter taste. He took a sip, then another. He could feel his head clearing as he walked towards the stage. He tried to focus on the mechanics of the show that night, the set list, the placement of everyone on the stage. He wondered about moving 'Already Gone' into the regular set list and switching it out with 'Cumberland Girl' for the last encore. Maybe they could work through that to see how it felt. He drained the coffee cup and tossed it into a nearby trash can.
"Hey," Rayna said as she walked up behind him. He turned to face her.
"Hey." He thought to himself that she didn't look well. She wasn't wearing makeup and she had her hair pulled back into a ponytail, which was normal for her during rehearsals, but her face looked drawn and her eyes didn't look clear. He wondered if she was getting sick. That could be a problem on stage, so he hoped not. But maybe it was just because Teddy was leaving. She'd told him Teddy was taking Maddie back to Nashville ahead of all the holidays.
She looked around. "Where's Taylor?" she asked.
He clenched his jaw and frowned slightly. "She went back to Nashville," he said.
Rayna looked puzzled. "Wasn't she staying until we left tomorrow?" she asked.
He scowled. "She's not here, Rayna. That's all." He really didn't want to talk about it with her.
"I'm sorry," she whispered. Then she looked like she really didn't feel well and she turned and hurried away from him.
He frowned as he watched her for a brief second, then turned back towards craft services and the coffee.
~nashville~
Rayna hurried as fast as she could to the restroom. She barely made it into a stall before she fell to her knees and threw up. She hovered over the toilet for a few minutes and then, after flushing, she sat back against the cool metal of the stall, reaching for toilet paper to wipe off her mouth. She realized that she was crying and wiped at her eyes with the back of her hand.
She took several deep breaths and then finally pushed herself up from the floor. She walked out to the sink and rinsed her mouth. Then she looked up and into the mirror. Her skin looked pasty and there were faint dark circles under her eyes. Life was always throwing you curve balls when you weren't expecting it. She had drawn her line in the sand with respect to her relationship with Deacon. Being married had helped her stay on her side, even when her emotions would sometimes falter.
And then Taylor had appeared. Why she'd never thought Deacon would move on, she didn't know. It wasn't like she hadn't told him, in any number of different ways, to do that, none so clear as her marriage to someone else. It had thrown her off-kilter, at first, to see him with someone else, to see him enjoying himself, smiling for a change. It never failed to kick her in the gut, but as time went on, she had learned to put it all neatly away in one of the little boxes where she kept all the other emotions and feelings she didn't want coming to the surface.
Once she'd gotten to know Taylor, she had to admit she liked her and she thought she was good for Deacon. She wondered what had happened to cause her to leave early, but at the same time she didn't really want to know. She was afraid it had something to do with feelings Deacon might still have for her. If she were honest with herself, she thought he probably did still have feelings for her. She felt so torn. She worked hard at keeping her own feelings locked away, forcing herself to keep him at arms' length, even when a part of her didn't want to. But it didn't really matter now. Because she'd finally told Teddy she was ready to have another baby and now she was pregnant.
Rayna was exhausted, despite the fact that she was home on a tour break and should have been more relaxed. As she lay on the bed with Maddie lightly snoring beside her, she realized she was tired. Not so much physically tired - that had passed - but tired of holding herself apart from Deacon. She knew they wouldn't be lovers again, but she was tired of denying them the chance to be friends. He'd been back with her for almost three years now and they still did little more than talk about her set lists and how to arrange a song. She was satisfied with the life she had with Teddy and Maddie and she'd put all of those feelings she'd had for Deacon in a little box.
But he was the one who had always been there for her, back in those early days when she was scared, of getting on stage, of defying her father, of what to do next. He'd been there to hold her hand, both figuratively and literally. He had encouraged her, stood beside her, listened to her. When they made music together they had known immediately, both of them, that it was special. And it still was. The fact that they were no longer a couple didn't mean the music they made together was any less great. It actually seemed like all that history just made it better.
She put her hand on her stomach. She was finally starting to show and she knew she needed to tell people. She'd covered it up over the last few weeks with blousy tops and tunics, but that wasn't going to work for much longer. Of course she and Teddy had told her father and Tandy at Christmas, and they'd been sworn to secrecy until they made a public announcement. And they'd also told Teddy's mother, Elizabeth, who had been living in an Alzheimer's home for longer than Rayna had known Teddy. Elizabeth, who sometimes forgot who Teddy was, never remembered who Rayna was, but always knew Maddie, whenever they went to visit her. They had told her about the new baby, but she never asked about it again, that little piece of information seemingly lost in the fog she lived in.
She wanted to tell Deacon. Needed to tell Deacon. He was still her family. She thought it might hurt him, because she thought he still harbored hopes for them, but she needed to tell him first. And she wanted to tell him she was ready for them to start being more than just two people standing on a stage together. She needed him back in her life. They were leaving the next day for the West Coast leg of the tour. That would be a new beginning for them, she promised herself.
She looked over at Maddie. She's the reason. More than anything, she wanted Deacon in Maddie's life. If she couldn't tell him she was his daughter, she at least wanted him to be a part of her life, watch her grow up. It might not be enough, but it's what I can do.
She had everything she needed in the foyer. Most of her suitcases had gone on the bus earlier in the week, set to be waiting for her when they got to LA. She checked herself in the large mirror over the bench near the front door. The tunic she was wearing neatly covered her small bump. It was cut in such a way that it wasn't at all apparent she was pregnant. If history was any judge, that wouldn't last too much longer though.
"You look beautiful," came Teddy's voice from behind her. She turned towards him and smiled. He had Maddie in his arms and he was smiling appreciatively at her.
"Thanks, babe," she said warmly, waiting for him to walk over to her. When he did, she reached her hands up to cup his face and leaned in for a light kiss. She looked at Maddie and grinned at her daughter. "You ready, sweet girl?" she asked.
"Yes!" Maddie cried out, reaching out for her mother. Rayna took her from Teddy and then set her on the floor. Maddie turned and looked back up at Teddy. "On a plane, Daddy!" she shouted.
Teddy and Rayna smiled at her and then at each other. "I think she's excited about the plane ride," Teddy said with a laugh.
Rayna was glad he'd finally stopped nagging her about taking Maddie on tour. It wouldn't be much longer before it was time for their daughter to start pre-school and then she would spend most of her time in Nashville with her father. Rayna really wanted to have as much time with her daughter as she could and Maddie.
"I'm going to tell Bucky about the baby, when I get to California," she said. "Then I guess we're ready for it to be public knowledge."
Teddy nodded. "Please be careful, Rayna," he said.
Rayna fought the urge to roll her eyes. As soon as she'd found out she was pregnant, Teddy had been pressuring her to stop touring. Even after her doctor gave the all-clear, he was agitated about it. But it had worked out perfectly, with the end of the tour already scheduled for just before Easter, when she'd be about five and a half months along. Instead she gave him a tight smile. "Of course I will, Teddy," she said. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw the limo approach. "Okay, here's our ride." She grabbed Maddie's hand and looked down at her daughter. "Let's go, sweet pea," she said.
~nashville~
Deacon walked up to Rayna, who was sitting outside by the hotel pool at one of the umbrella covered tables. They'd arrived in LA the night before and had a day off before the show the next night. He took the seat next to her. "How'd you sleep?" he asked.
She gave him a wry smile. "Not too bad, all things considered. Maddie was up way too early today though. Time change means nothing to her." He chuckled. "How's Taylor?" she asked.
He nodded. "Good," he said, his tone short. She'd finally asked him if everything was okay with Taylor, when she'd stopped coming out to visit. He'd danced around the answer, not wanting to tell her that Taylor was uncomfortable being around her and that it had almost ended the relationship. Things were still unsettled between the two of them. Him being out on the road with Rayna was a giant obstacle they had to work around. The long stretches of time apart were both a blessing and a curse.
Rayna apparently realized he didn't want to talk about it still, because she settled back in her chair. He got up and went to get coffee. When he came back he set a cup down in front of her and then sat back down. She made a face and pushed the coffee to the opposite side of the table. He frowned. "No caffeine today?" he asked.
She shook her head. She turned to look at him, but he couldn't see her eyes, as they were covered with her dark sunglasses. "God, no," she said. "I can't even stand the smell of it right now."
He sat up a little straighter and his frown turned into a look of real concern. "Are you sick? Do you need something?" he asked.
She waved him off, grimacing just a little. "Not sick," she said. "At least not the way you think."
"I don't understand."
She sighed. "I really haven't told people yet," she said, then paused. She sighed again. "I'm pregnant."
He was speechless for a moment. He hadn't expected that and yet, he knew he shouldn't be surprised. He knew she'd always wanted more than one child and he was sure she didn't intend for Maddie to be an only child. His emotions were all over the place, though. He felt sadness and confusion but he knew it was probably what she wanted. He smiled just a little. "Congratulations?" he said, hedging his bets.
She shook her head and then smiled. "I'm happy about it," she said, "but, you know, I've had a touch of morning sickness and then certain foods and smells just turn me off." She laughed. "Like coffee. Which makes me very, very sad."
He wasn't sure what he was supposed to ask. What was reasonable for him to ask. "So, what…when….," he started.
She slid down just a little in the chair, leaning back slightly. "I'm fourteen weeks. Which means when we finish the tour, I'll be around twenty-two weeks. So about five and a half months. My doctor said it was fine for me to keep touring and I actually feel really good." She smiled again. "I had a little morning sickness early on, but that went away pretty fast and it actually didn't interfere with the performing part. I wanted to wait until after the first trimester to tell people, but, I don't know, I just haven't done that yet." She breathed in. "Until now."
He looked away, taking a deep breath, and then swallowed hard. I ain't got no right to feel…anything about this. He looked back at her. "This is what you wanted?" he asked.
She nodded. "I love being Maddie's mama. And, you know, I always wanted two, at least." She turned in her seat to face towards him. She opened her mouth as though she were going to say something, then closed it. She looked away and then back at him. "I always thought this would be us," she said quietly.
That startled him. He took a deep breath and looked away. His heart felt like it was in his throat. Where is she going with this? He looked down. "I did too, Ray," he said, his voice catching. Then he looked at her. "I'm so sorry I screwed us up."
She bit her lip. "We both made mistakes," she said finally. Then she sighed and looked out towards the pool. "We've been working together now, again, for three and a half years and I realized that we rarely talk about ourselves, about our lives, about us. It's like we want to pretend all that never happened. Or I guess I did." She looked back at him. "But it did, Deacon." She smiled then, a smile of sadness and irony. "Some of it, most of it actually, was really, really good. I don't want to pretend anymore. Like it never happened."
He was still confused a little. He frowned. "I don't know what you want, Rayna," he said.
She put her elbow on the arm of the chair and rested her chin on her fist. "Deacon, you're my family. You'll always be my family. You're Maddie's Uncle Deacon. We shared a lot of life together and that doesn't just go away," she said.
He looked at her incredulously. "Rayna, you're married. We don't got anything together anymore, because you're married. To someone else." He leaned back and rubbed his hands over his face.
"Well, maybe I am married, but that doesn't mean we don't have anything together. You're my friend, my family. You know me better than anyone. Including Teddy. We share something very special. Our music. You and me and music, there's just nothing that separates that." She sighed. "This working together has been good. Great. I want us to keep doing it, together. And I just think we need to honor all of that…history between us, you know?"
He considered what she said. "Why?" he asked, his heart hurting. He didn't want to just honor their history. Too much of who he was was tied up in Rayna Jaymes. His heart was tied up in her. Still.
"I care about you, Deacon. I love you. Not the way I did, but as someone who's so important to me. I want us to be able to share things with each other, not shut each other out."
He laughed sarcastically. "And what about Teddy?" he asked.
She shook her head. "He'll just have to understand. I never told him I'd cut you out of my life. And I don't want to do that." She breathed out. "I appreciate that you accepted my boundaries. And that you honored them. Still honor them. We may not be romantically involved anymore, but that doesn't mean we can't be really good friends. That we can't care about each other and support each other's dreams." She turned and sat back in her chair, her hands folded across her stomach. "I need you, Deacon. I need us to be able to be, I don't know, close again. Like best friends are." She looked over at him. "Can we do that?"
He thought about that for a minute. He wasn't sure he would ever not love her and he wasn't sure he could just be a friend when he still loved her. It hurt when she said she loved him, but not the same way. He'd always thought her feelings hadn't changed, but clearly he'd been wrong. But she was right, they were family, and she knew him better than anyone else. The truth was he didn't want to live a life she wasn't in, whatever the cost. He worked his lip and then turned to her. "Yeah, we can do that," he said.
~nashville~
Rayna was a little late getting to rehearsal. They had a day off in Omaha and made plans to get together for a short rehearsal. But Maddie was fussy that day and Rayna hadn't wanted to leave her with the babysitter until she'd calmed down. She held her until her daughter's eyes slowly closed and her little body relaxed into sleep. Mia had come over and gently taken Maddie from Rayna's arms and walked her over to her bed. Rayna sat on the edge of the bed, just watching Maddie sleep for a few minutes. Then she got up.
"I'm going to run over to rehearsal," she whispered to Mia. "I won't be gone too long."
Mia shook her head. "Don't worry, Ms. Jaymes, she'll be fine. She was just overexcited. Now that she's down for a nap, she'll be her usual happy self when she wakes up."
Rayna made a face. Maddie was a handful, even without being overexcited. Tandy had told her that Maddie had her personality, back when she herself had been little. Demanding, a little sullen when she didn't get her way. But Rayna knew better. Maddie was like Deacon, brooding and intense. While she could see the resemblances to Deacon, Maddie looked enough like her that most people wouldn't have noticed. She'd been relieved that Deacon hadn't ever seemed to question that Maddie was Teddy's daughter.
Deacon's commitment to being sober had surprised her, causing her to wonder, more than once, about whether she'd given up on him too soon. A conversation with Cole had helped to give her clarity. He's doing good, Rayna. Really good. And I think a big reason for that is that he's doing it for himself. I know it's tempting to wonder what if, but keep this in mind. An alcoholic is just one bump in the road from falling off the wagon. You have a real good thing right now, with Teddy and your daughter. You made the right choice, both for you and for Deacon. She knew he was right and she knew, too, that being married to Teddy gave them both that boundary that kept them from tempting fate. It was the right choice.
She grabbed up her purse and hurried out the door, before Maddie could wake up.
She only had three more weeks on the tour and then she'd be on maternity leave until after the new baby came. She hoped to at least start on her next album while she was off, but that would mean listening to a lot of demos and hoping she could put enough on hold to fill the album. She'd tried writing on her own and still felt stuck. She and Deacon had even tried a couple times to write together, but they would end up just scratching everything out and walking away. She knew it was her fault. She always felt empty, with words that just didn't work.
When she got to the rehearsal hall, she could hear Deacon singing before she even got halfway down the hallway. When she got to the side stage, she stood in the shadows and watched and listened. He was seated, with the other band members around him. Some were playing along with him, others just listening. She could see in his face the joy he took in his music. She felt a lump in her throat as she continued to watch.
I wouldn't mind marryin' but I can't stand settlin' down / I wouldn't mind marryin' but I can't stand settlin' down / I'm gonna act like a preacher and ride from town to town to town
I'm leaving town, cryin' won't make me stay / I'm leaving town, cryin' won't make me stay / Baby the more you cry, the further you drive me away
As he finished up, she walked out, putting a smile on her face. "That was great!" she said.
Deacon stood, as though he was afraid he'd messed up. "We were just messing around while we waited," he said, biting his lip.
I miss making music with him. Not just singing with him or performing, but making music with him. I wish we could figure out how to make that work. She shook her head. "That's okay. I'm sorry I was late." She smiled apologetically. "Maddie was a little fussy and I wanted to make sure she was down for a nap." She looked around. "But I'm ready now, if y'all are."
~nashville~
She called him early one afternoon about two weeks after the tour was over. "I want to write," she said.
"Write?" he'd asked, not really understanding what she meant.
She sighed, as though he was simple-minded. "Write songs, Deacon," she said, a hint of irritation in her voice. "I know we've talked about it off and on and I was, I don't know, not sure, but I am now. I want to write. With you. Do you want to write with me?"
He was speechless for a moment. They'd tried before, but it hadn't gone well. They couldn't write the kind of songs they'd written when they were together and they hardly knew how to write anything else. He'd been writing songs of longing and loss about her for several years, but that wasn't going to be right either. He wasn't sure he could write a normal, not-love song with her. "Sure, I guess," he said finally.
"I'm taking Maddie to the park. Can you meet me there? There are picnic tables. We could write there."
He took a deep breath. "Sure. What park?"
"Percy Warner. Meet me at the entrance. In an hour?"
"I'll be there."
When he got there, she was sitting on the stone wall that bordered the stone steps that led into the park. Maddie was sitting next to her and, when she saw him, she jumped off the wall. "Deacon!" she cried out, jumping up and down in her little cowgirl boots.
He couldn't help but grin. Damn, but that little girl could lift his spirits. He waved. "Hey, Maddie," he called out as he approached. Rayna looked up at him and smiled. "Hey, Ray."
God, but she looks gorgeous. It was a warm day and she was wearing shorts and a tank top and sandals, sunglasses on her face. "Hey there," she said, as she absentmindedly rubbed her belly. He thought she practically glowed. Her face looked a little fuller, her cheeks pink. She looked…lush, ripe. He would never have thought a pregnant woman could look sexy, but Rayna looked sexy, and he could hardly stop looking at her. She stood up then. "You ready?" she asked.
All he could do was nod. He swallowed hard as he realized he was feeling a little aroused, just looking at her. She grabbed Maddie's hand and then he was surprised when Maddie grabbed his free hand as well. Rayna led the way down the path to where there were tables and the thought crossed his mind that they could have been a family. Married, with a daughter and another one on the way. He felt a mix of sadness and need and tried to push it aside.
He watched Rayna get Maddie situated in a nearby sandbox and found himself jiggling his leg. It was always hard to move past his feelings for her, but it had taken him aback to find that he still felt that way. It made him think about how right Taylor might have been in her assessment. He remembered feeling hopeless when she'd told him she was pregnant, as though it closed the door on that dream forever. She was tied to Teddy for sure now, more than ever. He looked up as she walked back to sit across from him. She reached into her bag and pulled out paper and a pencil.
He reached across the table and pulled the pad towards him and took the pencil from her hand. He scribbled down the first verse for what would become 'Changing Ground' and then slid it back over to her. "Think we could come up with something to go with that?" he asked.
Rayna pulled the notepad close and read over the words. I have stood on the changing ground / I have walked like a man in chains / I tried hard to do my best / But I could not make my way. She looked at him carefully. "This is about you, isn't it?" she asked.
He worked his lip a moment and then rubbed his face with his hands. "I guess," he said, with a nod. "Kind of."
She sat back a bit and looked at him. "What do you want to say in the song?" she asked.
He breathed in. "We go through stuff, and it's hard. It feels like we're lost until we take one right step…"
She smiled. "And head on to the promised land, right?" He nodded. She started to write, marking through a word here or there, frowning once or twice, and then finally she put the pencil down and pushed it back over to him.
He reached for it and read what she'd written. Oh, trouble was on my tail / And he followed me like a hound / Till I moved one step / On to glory / And off of that changing ground. He looked back at her and smiled. "I think we got us a song, Ray," he said.
The song Deacon sang at rehearsal was Matchbox Blues.