It was Rayna's first night back on stage after Daphne's birth. She'd chosen to do it at the Opry, since it would only require her to do two songs. She and Deacon were waiting in their dressing room for their cue to go on. She was up, pacing, and Deacon was sitting on the couch. She shook out her hands and then clenched and unclenched her fingers. Deacon had his guitar on his lap and was running through some chords. Finally he looked up at her. "It's gonna be good, Ray," he said.
She turned and looked at him as though she'd forgotten he was there. She breathed out. "Yeah. Yeah, I know, but, you know, it's been so long."
He shook his head. "Not that long. Six months. You were off longer with Maddie, right?"
She thought about that. "Yeah, you're right. That was a little over a year." She stopped pacing and stood with her hands on her hips. "You think they'll like the new song?"
"'Changing Ground'? Yeah, they'll like it. It's a good song, Ray." He knew it was kind of a test. They'd attempted to write together several times and each time, she'd balked. But they'd written 'Changing Ground' sitting on a park bench at Percy Warner Park, while she'd watched Maddie playing in the sandbox. She was six months pregnant with Daphne and it had felt safe, to both of them.
It had felt a little like a breakthrough. They'd written the song, including the music, in less than an hour and a half. He got up onto the picnic table with his guitar and they'd sung it through. When they finished, they had just looked at each other for a moment.
Rayna laid her hand over her heart. "Wow," she breathed out. "That was really…good."
He smiled. "It was great." He bit down on his lip. "It felt good," he said, cautiously, not sure where it would lead.
She looked a little breathless, a little teary. "I thought we'd never be able to do that again," she said softly. "I was afraid we couldn't write anything…different, you know?"
He nodded. "I think we can write anything, Ray. You and me, we can put words together, whatever the words are. Don't have to be love songs anymore, so long as they're still our truth."
"I guess that's true," she said. Then she started laughing, infectious laughing that got him laughing too. When they finally stopped, they were both breathless and had tears in their eyes. Then suddenly she gasped, looking a little startled. She put her hand on her belly and looked down. He felt panic rise up in his chest, thinking something was wrong.
"Rayna…" he said, his heart in his throat.
She didn't say anything at first, but then she looked up at him and smiled. "I just felt her move," she said. "I could feel Maddie earlier than this, so I was a little worried, but…there she is."
He didn't know quite what to say. He knew this was probably a moment she should be sharing with Teddy, but deep down inside he was happy to be there with her. She had a softness to her smile, kind of a wonder in her eyes, and he found himself wishing again that he could have been the one to make her this happy.
~nashville~
They had just finished singing 'Changing Ground', the first time they'd performed it on stage. It had just been released as the first single off her upcoming album. She'd been happy with it and the crowd response was enthusiastic. It had felt comfortable singing something she and Deacon had written together and it had given her hope they could continue to write more together in the future. They waited out the applause and then were supposed to start into 'Already Gone'. Deacon hadn't started playing, though, which confused her. She glanced over at him and noticed he wasn't looking at her at all, but off towards the side stage. She turned in that direction and gasped as she saw Little Jimmy Dickens walk over towards her.
She knew immediately why he was there and she felt tears spring to her eyes. She turned to look at Deacon and he was smiling at her. She looked back at Little Jimmy, who'd come over to stand in front of her. "Miss Rayna Jaymes?" he said, taking her hand. She just smiled at him. "It's been a little while since you been here, little lady, hasn't it?"
"It has," she whispered. She could hardly form words, she was so overcome.
"I heard you just had a baby," he went on.
She nodded. "I did."
"So why don't we celebrate that tonight?" he said, a huge smile on his face. He turned toward the crowd, who roared its approval. He turned back to her and squeezed her hand. "You know you're one of my very favorite people, Rayna, and I'm so honored that the management here asked me to ask you if you'd like to be the next member of the Grand Ole Opry."
She felt like she was in a dream. The crowd was cheering. Deacon came over and hugged her and she clung to him for a moment, not quite believing this was happening. Then she turned back to Little Jimmy and took his hand in both of hers and said, "Of course. Yes!" There was cheering and loud applause and she was beaming.
When the audience quieted down a bit, Little Jimmy smiled up at her. "Miss Rayna, can you come back here in two weeks so that we can officially induct you into the Grand Ole Opry?"
By this point, she was so overcome with emotion and the tears were streaking down her face, and all she could do was nod. She looked over at Deacon and he was beaming at her. She knew he understood, more than anyone else, how important this was to her and all she could think about in that moment was how glad she was he was with her for it.
~nashville~
It felt like home being on the Opry stage. He remembered the first time they'd been asked to play at the Opry. She was barely twenty and he was twenty-three. She had told him so many times how much she wanted to sing at the Opry. They'd pulled together enough money to go to the show once and she'd sat transfixed as she'd watched some of her heroes on stage – Jeannie Seely, Jan Howard, 'Whispering' Bill Anderson, John Conlee, and one of her favorites, Lorrie Morgan. She'd had such stars in her eyes and he'd loved watching her that night.
When she made her Opry debut – his first time too – she started talking as soon as she got up to the mic and finally giggled a little as she'd said, "I guess we need to sing. That's why we're here." The crowd had laughed indulgently and then they'd done their two numbers, 'Already Gone' and 'Cumberland Girl'. They'd gotten an enthusiastic response and Rayna had literally danced off the stage.
It had been the first of many appearances for her. When he glanced over at the side stage as they were finishing 'Changing Ground', he'd seen Little Jimmy Dickens. He wasn't on the bill for the night and Deacon knew immediately why he was there. He felt so proud to be there the night Rayna would finally get her dream of being asked to join the Opry. He felt tears in his eyes and he blinked them back.
As she stood there after the invitation, stunned, he'd walked over and hugged her. She clung to him. "I can't believe it," she'd whispered in his ear.
"You done it, Ray," he said and then let her go. He was so proud of her and he was so grateful that he was able to be there with her.
~nashville~
Deacon had found this place a short walking distance from Sound Check. Although they'd met several times at Percy Warner Park to write, she'd felt uncomfortable and exposed there, even if she was doing nothing wrong. People knew her in Belle Meade and she didn't want the gossip.
The first time they went there was a month after Daphne was born, on a day when Maddie was cranky and complaining about "your baby" and Daphne was fussy as well. Mia shooed her out of the house when she'd found Rayna near tears.
She had called Deacon. "Can you meet me at Sound Check?" she asked.
"Sure. What's up?"
"I just have to get out of the house. Or I'll go crazy."
He met her in the parking lot and then suggested they walk. She couldn't help but think this was the perfect place for them to talk privately. A long-forgotten stone picnic bench along the river. It had been a small park at one time, he'd told her, before they built the road above it. The bridge had a large shoulder, where a car could easily park, and it was a short walk along an overgrown path from Sound Check.
They sat quietly for a few minutes, shoulder to shoulder, almost touching. Deacon leaned forward, his elbows on his knees and he sucked the air in between his teeth as he squinted into the sun. She sat with her hands clasped between her legs, her head tilted slightly back and her eyes closed.
"So what's going on?" he asked.
She opened her eyes and turned to look at him. She leaned in and bumped his shoulder with her own, then sighed. "Maddie's not happy with her sister today," she said. "Loudly."
He chuckled. "Maybe she just needs a nap," he said.
She smiled. "Maybe you're right. I just couldn't handle any more crying and fussiness."
He looked at her a moment and smiled. "It's good to see you, Ray," he said.
She nodded. "You too." She felt that familiar quiver inside that she tried to suppress. "I've missed you. Missed us." She hadn't seen him since before Daphne was born, although they'd talked on the phone, when Teddy wasn't around. She smiled at him. "How's Taylor?"
He breathed in and looked out over the river. "She's good. Things are good." He looked back at her. "How's Teddy?"
Her smile got tight. "Good. Things are good," she said softly. He'd made his point.
She heard the truck door slam shut and she turned to look over her shoulder. She smiled as she watched him put his hand down on the stone wall and agilely jump over the wall to the hill below it. He hustled down and hopped up onto the stone seat and then turned to sit on the table top. He turned to look at her and smiled. "That was a big ass night last night," he said, gently bumping his shoulder against hers.
She threw her head back and laughed. "Oh, my God," she said. She looked back at him. "That was my dream. You remember."
He nodded and raised his eyebrows. "Oh, yeah, I remember," he said. "If you told me once, you told me a thousand times, all you wanted was to be asked to be a member of the Grand Ole Opry."
She made a face and swatted his arm. "I think a thousand is an exaggeration," she said.
He grinned. "Not by much," he said with a laugh. He bit his lip. "So you thought about what you wanna sing?" He breathed in. "Maybe one of the old songs?"
She looked at him a moment, then shook her head. She looked down and then out across the river. "I've been thinking about it all night. I think we should write something special for this," she said finally. They were quiet for a few minutes and then she turned to look at him, a serious look on her face. "I love you, Deacon. You're my best friend, my family. You know me better than anyone knows me. You know, we may not be together anymore, but we're still a team. You're my partner. Professionally anyway. This means something. And you know I wouldn't be doing this if it weren't for you. I know that. I don't ever forget that if it weren't for you, there would be no Rayna Jaymes. There's no music, for me, without you."
She could see all the different emotions running across his face, being telegraphed through his eyes. Everything I just said is true, though. And I couldn't do this without him. He finally broke her gaze and rubbed his hands over his face. Then he looked back at her. "You sure?" She nodded. "What do you want to say?"
She shrugged. "I'm not sure. I want it to be something real though. Something that feels like us." She breathed in deeply. "We've written a lot of songs together. And I know most of them were love songs and we're just not in that place anymore." She looked at him a little sadly. "But who we were together, the core of it, we still are. We came together because of the music and we are still together because of the music." She smiled sadly. "And even if the love story isn't the same anymore, there still is a great love and respect. We're connected. We'll always be connected, I know that. Don't you?"
He looked at her like he wanted to say something, but he just took a deep breath instead. Then he looked out over the river. She could see the tension in his jaw, but she didn't say anything. Finally he turned back to her. "So what are you saying, Ray?" he asked.
"I want the song to be a tribute to us. You, me, the music, us. I mean, I might be getting the honor, but it's because of us." She clenched her hands in her lap. "Can we do that?"
He raised his eyebrows and then he gave her a quick nod. "Yeah," he said.
~nashville~
When she said "I love you, Deacon", he'd felt a surge in his heart, but then he remembered she'd only meant it in the way she would say that to someone close to her. Not the way she'd said it when they were together. Not the way she said it to Teddy these days. And he felt incredible sadness. Not only because she didn't mean it the way he wanted her to, the way he would mean it if he said it to her, but because that was past. If he'd ever wondered if they had a chance, Daphne seemed to close that door. Rayna had born another child with Teddy and, to him, that meant she was committed to her marriage and her husband. That there was no place for him in her heart anymore. Besides, he had Taylor now.
When she said she wanted the song to be a tribute to "us", he wanted to ask her which "us" she meant. It turned out to be a question he asked himself often, over the years. It seemed to him that "us" was fluid and that there was certainly a lot more below the surface between the two of them than they wanted to acknowledge.
He'd played around with some lyrics and, when they met the next day to work on the song, he pushed the piece of paper he'd written them on across the table, without saying anything. He watched her as she read them. The rivers between us are deep / And dark as the secrets we keep / We stand on the shores / Time running by at our feet / Oh, the rivers between us are deep.
She breathed in and then looked up at him. "That's beautiful," she whispered.
He swallowed hard. "Was that what you was thinking?" he asked.
She spread her fingers over the sheet of paper as she looked down at it again. He thought he caught a little shakiness, but then she tapped the fingers of her right hand and he decided he'd been wrong about that. She looked back at him and smiled. "Yeah," she said, a sense of wonder in her voice. "This is exactly what I was thinking."
He breathed a sigh of relief and then smiled, a little shyly. "Good. I'm glad." He took the paper back. "What's next?"
She bit her lip as she thought. "Something about the love rising up too fast and then fading out. Maybe that's the chorus." She stopped and looked past him. He could tell the wheels were turning, something had sparked, beyond what she'd just said. He waited her out, like always. This was how it was for them when they wrote, throwing out lines, even just words sometimes, then coming back to make sense of them. "Something about being kept apart and living their lives in the dark spaces." She ran her tongue over her bottom lip. "You think about it sometimes, don't you?" she asked, her voice quiet. "Think about the old days and how all of that…stuff kept us apart?"
He breathed in. "It wasn't you that done that, Ray," he said. "It was all on me. I know that. All the walls, all the barriers, that's on me."
She rubbed her face, then gave him a sad smile. "It all seems like a lifetime ago, you know?" She tilted her head just a bit and squinted into the sun. "There was a lot of darkness then. A lot happened then. Maybe stuff that needs to stay in the dark. Because it hurts too much." Her voice faded a little at the end and she looked away.
He could see flickers of pain in her eyes as she looked at him, then away, almost as though she couldn't stand to look him straight in the eye. They'd hurt each other deeply, him more than her, he knew that. She took the paper from him and wrote some more, gave it to him, and he scratched out, moved words around, added more, gave it back to her.
At one point, she looked like she'd had a breakthrough in her head and she wrote down what became the second verse. There are kingdoms to keep us apart / So we live out our lives in the dark / Love has a way of making you pay with your heart / There are kingdoms to keep us apart. He thought he understood, but he couldn't be totally sure. He thought there was something intensely personal in those lines. He finally decided not to try too hard to decipher it, deciding to give it his own meaning and let her have hers.
~nashville~
As Rayna drove home, she thought about the song she and Deacon had just written. It had been raw, pulling all kinds of emotions from both of them. They'd written together in fits and starts since that day at the park before Daphne was born. Writing songs together had always been like second nature to them, but back in the days when they were together, the music and the love had always been irrevocably entwined. Trying to write now, when they weren't together and when those feelings were so very complicated, was like a dance. Finding the right rhythm and the right moves, using the right words.
Deacon was right when he'd said they could write anything, even this sad ode to lost love and to secrets and to the things that kept people apart. She was learning to live without him, at least in the intimate sense. She thought he was doing the same. The secret she was hiding from him made things more complicated, but she was learning, every day, how to manage that part of her life. As the days and weeks and months and years had gone by, she put all that further behind her. It wasn't as hard to see Deacon and Maddie together. It wasn't as difficult to think of her as Teddy's daughter.
She sighed. She would never have believed that nearly four years after she'd hired him back, because her back was against the wall, that they'd be here, still together. She was certain she wouldn't be able to make it through that first tour, that either she would fire him or he would quit. She watched him constantly, worried that the proximity as well as her inaccessibility would lead him to drink again. Truthfully, she still watched him, still kept him close so she could keep him safe, just like she always had. But it had worked between the two of them. The music was stronger than the fear of being so close.
She'd been willing to take a chance on bringing him back to her band because he made her better as a performer. And he'd certainly delivered on that. Her star was rising faster than ever, with Grammys and CMA's and ACM's and gold and platinum albums. Six more number one's and sold out arena tours. It had been worth it. And when she looked at him and wondered what might have been, she took a deep breath and pushed that deep down inside, smiling her performance smile, and living the life she'd created for herself.
After they had put the girls to bed, Rayna followed Teddy into the den, sitting down next to him on the couch. She looked at him intently. "So, tomorrow is when I get inducted into the Opry," she said.
Teddy smiled at her, looking a little confused. "I know. The girls and I are going to be there," he said.
She bit her lip. "I wanted to show you…this," she said, handing him a piece of paper.
He frowned as he took it from her, just glancing at it. "What is it?" he asked.
She breathed in. "It's the song I'm singing tomorrow night." She looked at him carefully. "Deacon and I wrote it and I wanted you to see it first. Before I sing it."
He frowned. "I don't understand why you're writing with him again, Rayna. It seems like a slippery slope to me."
She shrugged. "I like writing with him. It's harder to write by myself. Always was. But he understands how to get my thoughts and feelings down on the page."
He gave her an odd look and then looked down at the sheet of paper he held in his hand. She felt her stomach turn flip flops as she watched him read. She could see him get tense, his fingers pinching the paper, his face turning a little red. Then he tossed the sheet on the coffee table and looked at her, his nostrils flaring a bit. "I don't understand," he said, his voice clipped. "Are you trying to tell me something?"
She shook her head. "It's not about you, Teddy. It doesn't really have anything to do with you," she said quietly.
Teddy stood up and walked over to the window. "So you're going to sing this…love song to your ex?" he asked, hurt tinging his tone.
She swallowed hard and then stood up, walking over to stand behind him. She put her hands on his arms and he tensed up. "No, Teddy," she said. "That's not what it's about."
"Then what is it about?"
She let go of his arms and walked around to face him. "It's about the end of love, Teddy. About two people who can't be together," she said, searching his face.
He looked incredulous. "That's not how it sounded. I'm sure that's not how it will sound to that audience."
"But it is. For me, it is." She took his hand in hers. "Teddy, I loved Deacon very much. You know that. We had a very intense relationship for a very long time. It was hard and it was painful and now it's done."
He eyed her carefully. "Does Claybourne know that?"
She nodded. "He does."
He smiled sarcastically, pulling away from her. "And yet he's going to sing this with you," he said.
"No, I'm singing it. He'll be on stage with me, of course, and he'll do the harmony, but this is my song, Teddy."
Teddy rolled his eyes and let out a short laugh. "That sounds incredible, Rayna. Why should I believe you?"
She looked at him evenly. "Because you're my husband, Teddy. Because we have two daughters together. Because I said vows to you – that I meant – and I honor those." She paused. "I'm telling you because I wanted you to know, first, before I did the song. I knew what you might think and I wanted to tell you myself." She looked at him pleadingly. "Let's sit down. Please." He hesitated, but finally sat back down on the couch and she sat next to him. "As much as you don't want to hear this, Deacon is my family." She could see him bristle. "And my friend. And we write great songs together. Deacon and I are rivers apart, Teddy, in the personal sense. And now we stand on our own. But we can write a great song. We write about what we know. It doesn't have to be about us."
"I don't know if I believe that, Rayna," he said.
She breathed out. "But I came and told you, Teddy. I would never do something to deliberately hurt you. I wanted you to know, so you would know it wasn't about you or that it meant I didn't love you." She reached for his hands again. For a moment he seemed to want to pull away, but finally he relaxed.
"I want to believe that, Rayna," he said, looking at her sadly.
"Then do," she said, with a tiny smile. Yes, it's about the end of love. Forever, for now, who knows?
~nashville~
Deacon got dressed and then looked over his guitars, trying to decide which one to bring with him. He finally settled on an old Martin he'd played when he and Rayna had made their Opry debut. It felt right.
He imagined that Rayna was standing in front of her mirror, making sure her dress fit well and her hair was just right. She had makeup artists and hair stylists now and people to get her stage outfits organized, but back in the early days she did it all herself. He remembered when they played the Opry the first time, she changed outfits at least five times, before ending up with the very first outfit she'd put on.
He smiled to himself as he thought about how nervous she was. Watty had come that night, to wish them luck. And then it was all over so quickly. They had hurried off the stage, back to the Into the Circle dressing room, where first-timers got to wait their turn.
"Deacon, does this door have a lock?" she'd asked, breathless, her face flushed.
He'd looked puzzled. "A lock?"
She made a face and then she'd put her arms around his neck and leaned into him. She kissed him on the lips and then, lowering her eyelids a bit, she'd purred, "I need you. Right now."
He had laughed, a little embarrassed that he hadn't realized what she wanted. He turned and found that, indeed, there was a lock on the door. He turned the lock, then turned back to her. She flew into his arms and kissed him hungrily, running her hands up and down his back and then down over his ass, pressing him closer to her. He groaned as he felt himself responding to her. He slid his hand down to her thigh, then ran his fingers under the hem of her skirt. She rocked her hips against him and moaned.
He breathed out. He had wondered if anyone else had christened the new artist dressing room at the Opry. He liked to think they were the first. He sighed. He'd wanted Taylor to come, but she'd shaken her head and told him no. He understood, but it made him sad. Then he turned and put his guitar in its case. He locked it up, picked up his messenger bag, and headed out the door.
~nashville~
Rayna was standing in front of the mirror in her vanity, making sure her dress fit properly. It was a black lace sleeveless dress. It was short enough to show off her legs and the dark color was slimming. She still hadn't lost all of her baby weight, but she thought the dress was flattering. Her eyes caught Teddy walking up behind her and she smiled.
"You look beautiful," he said, with a warm smile.
She turned to face him. "Thanks, babe." She twisted her hands together and made a face. "You're sure? I'm not, you know, busting out too much?" She blushed as she practically whispered the last few words, smoothing the fabric over her breasts.
Teddy laughed. "Not at all. You look perfect," he said.
"I hope so. I'm just so nervous," she said with a laugh. "I don't know why. It's not like I haven't performed at the Opry a million times." She laughed again nervously.
He came over and kissed her on the cheek. "It's a big night," he said. "You told me this was something you'd always wanted, so you're excited."
She nodded. "That's true. It was my biggest dream." She laughed again. "Well, outside of having a record deal."
"Are you ready?"
She nodded, feeling a little teary. "Yeah. I'm ready."
When they got to the Opry, they were hustled into her dressing room. She had caught a glimpse of Deacon, standing down the hall with the Opry house band. He'd seen her too and had given her a nod. She felt her heart beat a little faster and her stomach was turning flip flops. She had Maddie in her arms and she gave him a tiny smile, before walking quickly into the dressing room, Teddy following behind with Daphne.
Although she was glad to have her family there with her, she felt at loose ends. Normally Deacon would be in the room with her and they'd go over what they were playing that night. They'd talk a little and it would ease the jitters she always got right before she went on stage. But he couldn't be in the dressing room, of course, and so she paced, shaking her hands and humming with her eyes closed.
The knock at the door startled her and her eyes flew open as Vince Gill walked in. "Are you ready for this, Rayna?" he asked, with a big smile on his face.
She felt tears well up and she waved her hands in front of her face as she smiled. "I think so," she said.
He walked over and hugged her, then stepped back, looking over at Teddy and the girls. "Teddy, if you're ready, you and the girls can go on out to the side stage," he said.
Teddy nodded. "We're ready, I think." He pulled out the tiny ear muffs out of the diaper bag and put them on Daphne, who waved her tiny hands and patted them. Then he took Maddie's hand. Rayna walked over to the two of them and he kissed her. "We can't wait," he said, with a grin.
"Thanks, babe," she said. She took Daphne's little face in her hands and kissed her on the nose. Then she squatted down to pull Maddie into a hug. "I'll see y'all in just a few minutes," she said, as she watched them leave.
Vince waited by the door and after a few minutes, he turned to look down the other direction and made a motion with his hand. Rayna was smoothing her dress and running her tongue over her lips when Deacon walked into the room past Vince. As Vince closed the door, he looked at Rayna. "Five minutes," he said, holding up five fingers.
She nodded. "Thanks." When the door was closed, she looked at Deacon. "Oh, my God," she breathed.
He smiled at her. "I'm so proud of you," he said. "You deserve this more than anybody I know."
She felt teary again and waved one hand in front of her face. "I don't want to cry," she said. "I'll ruin my makeup." And she laughed.
He took a deep breath, then set his guitar down. He walked the few steps and pulled her into a hug. "I'm glad I get to be here for this," he said. She slid her arms around his waist and pressed her hands against his back. It felt good to be close to him, to feel wrapped up in him again, even if it was just as friends. The hug lasted a little longer than it should have and she let him hold her a little closer than was proper. I don't want to lead him on.
"I wouldn't want it any other way," she said softly. He kissed her on the forehead then and let her go, stepping back. She smiled up at him and breathed out. "Time to do this," she said.
The rest of the night was like a dream. She remembered walking out onto the stage after Vince introduced her. Little Jimmy Dickens gave her the Grand Ole Opry microphone statue and she talked to the audience about her love for the Opry and what it meant to her from the time she was a little girl. She recognized her family as well as Deacon, for being there with her. And then she and Deacon debuted 'The Rivers Between Us'. For the Opry performance, Deacon did harmony vocals only, although when they recorded the song later as a bonus single, they did it as a duet, the way it had been intended to be performed.
While she was glad Deacon was on stage with her, a part of her was disappointed not to really be able to celebrate with him. The few minutes they'd had in her dressing room hadn't been enough time for her to tell him just how much he meant to her. And Teddy being there meant she couldn't do it afterwards. She couldn't have done it without him though. There would be no Rayna Jaymes without Deacon Claybourne.
When it was over, she walked off the stage towards her family. Teddy kissed her and she ran her finger under Daphne's chin and kissed her on the forehead. Then she leaned down and picked up Maddie, who was squealing with joy and clapping her hands happily. People came up to her and congratulated her and she laughed joyfully. This had been one of the best nights of her life.
~nashville~
It was always special to be at the Opry when someone was inducted into its membership. Deacon was grateful that he'd been able to be here with Rayna when it was her turn. If this had been five years earlier, he wouldn't have been on the stage with her. He'd been cast out of her life, sent to rehab one last time. There was no guarantee that he'd ever be doing this again and, in fact, he'd thought it would never happen. But now that it had, he was determined not to let these chances slip past him again.
They stood next to each other on the side stage as they waited for her introduction. She was licking her lips nervously and fidgeting with her hands. He glanced over to the other side of the stage and saw Teddy, holding Daphne, with Maddie standing beside him. He swallowed hard. Teddy was a lucky man, to have this family with Rayna. And she seemed happy, or at least content. She loved her girls and she loved being a mama, and he once again felt a pain in his heart wishing he could have been the one to give her that.
And then Vince was calling her onto the stage and they walked out, Rayna turning on her performance smile for the crowd. He stood while Little Jimmy Dickens handed her the microphone statue that represented her Opry membership. She said a few words about how much it meant to her and then she turned to him and nodded slightly.
They started to sing, her voice clear and strong, filled with all the emotions of the song they'd written for this night. He caught Teddy out of the corner of his eye, saw the grim look on his face as he listened to Rayna sing. He wondered if Rayna ever had regrets. He had wondered, that day they'd sat across from each other as they wrote this song. There was something in her eyes, there and quickly gone, that made him wonder.
"You know people will think this is about us," she said.
He raised an eyebrow. "Isn't it?" He paused. "Kind of?"
She shrugged and looked away. "Maybe." She chewed at her lip for a moment, then looked back at him, her eyes squinting into the sun. "But that's over. We both know that."
He breathed in and then he nodded. "Yeah." After a moment, he said, "Do you ever think about us?"
She smiled at him a little sadly and nodded. "Sometimes." She looked away and then back. "It wasn't all bad. I remember a lot of things that were really good. But we've moved on, you know? I think it was time for that."
"I guess," he said. Then he had taken a deep breath and gotten up, signaling the end of the conversation. And they walked side-by-side, but not touching, up the hill to their cars.
It was a song about them. He knew it. He knew she did too. But she was right. It was time to get past that.
~nashville~
Her dressing room was full of people when they finally made it back there, between all the stops to talk to well-wishers. She was happy to see Watty was there. He'd been traveling and wasn't sure he'd make it back in time, but there he was. Even Tandy had surprised her by showing up. Her father wasn't there, of course, but she didn't have time to even be annoyed that he couldn't make an exception for her and come to the Mother Church of Country Music on her special night.
After a bit she found her way over to Bucky. "Hey, Buck," she said quietly and he turned to face her.
"This was an amazing night, Rayna," he said, with a grin, as he hugged her. "And y'all sounded great out there. Killer song."
She smiled. "Thanks." She looked around a bit. "Where's Deacon?"
He raised his eyebrows. "He left."
She looked puzzled. "He did?"
Bucky nodded. "Yeah. Right after y'all got off stage. Said he had someplace he needed to be." He got pulled into another conversation then, leaving Rayna to sigh, feeling strangely deflated now that she knew he hadn't stayed.