Stephanie Meyer owns the Twilight characters, I just own the plot that they're playing in.
. . . . . . . . . .
When I woke up, the sun was barely starting to rise, and I smiled while stretching lazily in my bed.
That had to be the best, non-medicated sleep I had ever had. I felt fresh, energetic, and… happy. It was a drastic change to the chaos that had been my mind for so long now.
Edward saved me.
I knew it was a dream, but it didn't make it any less meaningful to me. Besides, it wasn't like he hadn't actually done that in real life.
I rubbed my hands over my face, trying to physically remove my grin, but I just couldn't.
Birthdays, anniversaries, and Friday the thirteenths be damned, today was going to be a good fucking day.
I made a smoothie and took Zeus up to the roof before having a nice long shower, braiding my hair, and getting dressed to go for a run. I pulled my bike out of my closet, packed up my basket, put on my big sunglasses and then Zeus and I took our time making the long trek to Central Park. After locking up the bike, giving Zeus a drink while I did my stretches, and setting up my music, we started our laps around the lake.
My mood just kept getting better. It was a beautiful day, the sun shining brightly and fairly warmly for this time of year, my shuffled music only played awesome songs, and the park was oddly deserted, even for this time of day, even on a Friday.
We were just about to come up on our last lap, when another jogger started to pass me. I almost started to speed up, just out of principle, until I saw who it was.
Edward waved with a bright smile, and I slowed to a stop, pulling off my headphones so that they wrapped around my neck.
He wasn't in my immediate space bubble, but too close for a stranger as Zeus knew him to be. My boy was quick to jump in between us and protect me, and I saw Hollywood's face blanch quickly.
"Zeus!" I said in a commanding voice, and his response was instant. I gave him our visual command to lie down, and he immediately did so in the grass by my feet.
Such a good boy.
I smiled back up at Edward, pushing my sunglasses back on my head, not really caring to be surprised by the joy I felt seeing him after what he did. Or my subconscious made him do. Either way, I was tempted to say thank you, but I didn't want to have to explain why. "Hey, what's up?"
He just stared, and I was worried he might have a phobia of dogs. Had Zeus scared him?
"Don't worry, he'd never hurt you. He's just protective. Well, he wouldn't unless I told him to," I joked, not actually joking. He didn't need to know that. Besides, I fight my own battles, I'd never let Zeus get into a situation where he could be hurt.
He was still looking at me oddly, and I wiped at my face, wondering if I had something on me.
Hmm... It looks like the socially awkward version of himself has made a reappearance. I bit back a laugh.
God, I couldn't stop smiling.
He cleared his throat. "Sorry, I just saw you running and had to say hi. How's it going?"
"Great, you?"
He seemed to relax a bit. "I'd have to say amazing. You seem like you're in a good mood today, what's up?"
I definitely wasn't going to tell him that it was thanks to him. His ego was big enough as it was, it didn't need to know I'd had a dream about him.
And I definitely didn't want to give him the wrong idea.
"I just have the feeling that today is going to be a good day." Zeus was being so good and patient, and I knelt down to scratch behind his ears. His tongue rolled out of his mouth, and he looked almost as happy as I felt.
He shifted uncomfortably, and I wondered if he was regretting his decision to talk to me. Was it hard for him? Did he think it would be better to just let his little crush go? Maybe he'd finally realized that I just wasn't worth the trouble, or danger.
"Have you been out here long?"
Yes, his voice was getting strained. I wouldn't hold him back though; I'd let him go politely when he told me he was finished and had to go.
"Not really. I usually just do two laps, I still got one more. You?"
"Same," I was surprised by his nervous smile. "Would you guys, uh, like some company for a bit?"
That surprised me. It would have been nice to have a running buddy. Emmett ran, but not like I did. I was an endurance runner, I liked long distances. Emmett strapped on every weight he could find and did quick spurts, and talked way too much.
"Sure… I don't really talk while I run though."
"Me neither," he said easily, putting his headphones back in and gesturing for me to lead the way. I smiled at him, sliding my glasses and headphones back on before nodding Zeus ahead and taking off.
I was still a little put off that he had passed me earlier. Whenever I saw him at the gym he was usually at a brisk jog, so I decided to see what his range was. I started off easy, and slowly but fluidly progressed until we were practically sprinting.
He showed no signs of tapping out, and I was pretty impressed. I slowed back down to a walk once we finished our lap, slightly begrudgingly.
I was actually having fun… and didn't really want to say goodbye to him. How lame would it be to ask him to play fetch with Zeus and I? He followed me as I made my way over to my bicycle though, and I poured Zeus some water. He was a little too eager, and I worried that he'd choke, so I told him to slow down. He was such a smart boy.
"So, do you come here often?" He said suddenly, breaking our silence.
Did he seriously just ask that? That line seemed a little below his level, and I saw his face sicken slightly, like he was startled he had said it. I rolled my eyes teasingly.
"Very original, Hollywood. I really expected more from you." I didn't want to shrug off his question, but I found myself hesitating. Yes, he knew about some of my secrets now, but I'd never just had a normal conversation as Bella with him before. What if I was bad at it? Why did the idea of not meeting his expectations make me so uneasy and nervous?
Zeus, perceptive as always, quickly caught onto my nerves, and tried to protect me from the only thing that could be close enough to be considered a threat; he growled at Edward again. I snapped my fingers quickly, catching his attention, and he sat back down beside me.
"Sorry, it's just kind of weird talking about… myself," I said, and he looked a little confused.
I didn't want to speak to him in half riddles anymore.
"I only come on Thursdays and Fridays, I like it better during the day when it's not as busy."
He thought about that for a moment. "So I take it Monday to Wednesday you work at the Library?" I was shocked, and immediately suspicious. I had thought he'd said something before… but how did he know? Had he followed me? No, there was no way. I would have known. He looked a little worried, then looked around us carefully before speaking. "Before I knew you were Emmett's sister, he told me his little sister worked at a Library. I was running with him one time when he asked you to cover a spinning class."
Ah, Emmett. Of course. I shook my head, and was surprised to find that I really wasn't angry. Zeus had finished his water, so I put his bowl away and took out the Frisbee. "So, you biked here?"
I'm in a good mood, I'll just let that one pass. "Yeah, it takes about forty minutes. " I looked at him curiously, wondering if he took a cab here to go for a run. For some reason, he didn't own a car. "You don't live close exactly either," I pointed out in lieu of a question.
"Forty minute walk. I don't like running around my block."
I smiled, finding that I liked having something in common with him.
"I hear you, it can be so boring running around on cement. If I lived closer I'd run here every day." I still wasn't ready to say goodbye, even with Zeus impatiently eying the Frisbee, and I completely threw myself out of my comfort zone. "What are you up to now?"
"I usually just grab a coffee and read the paper for a while, would you like one?"
"Oh, no thanks. Coffee makes me all jittery," I said automatically, and worried I had come off as rude when he frowned. I made myself force out the rest of my words before he could flee. "But, uh, I'm still sticking around for a while if you still wanted to… hang out?"
He grinned happily, and I relaxed.
"Sure."
I bit back my triumphant smile, trying to remain cool. "Oh, okay. Well go ahead and grab your coffee, we'll just be over there." I gestured to the open field before grabbing my basket and making my way over there. As soon as I threw the disk, Zeus barreled after it, jumping and catching it in the air before coming back. He was running off again before the disk hit the ground by my feet.
"That's cheating!" I said, throwing the disk hard. He circled and caught it again.
Hollywood didn't join us, but he sat close by with his paper in the grass, next to my basket. Zeus made it known when he was tired, walking over to him like he'd known him his entire life, and dropped down in the grass next to him.
It was pretty adorable, and I tried not to run over too quickly to join them. As I was walking over, I saw him smiling, and he reached out to pet Zeus but stopped himself at the last second and dropped his hand. It was a little strange, I was certain he hadn't growled at him.
Maybe he was afraid of dogs. He looked like he had really wanted to pet him though.
"You can pet him if you want, just let him sniff your hand first," I said, dropping down next to my boy and holding my hand in front of his snout for a second before ruffling his fur. He was definitely settling in for a nap, and completely ignored Edward as he copied my motions.
And he grinned like a kid on Christmas. It was adorable.
"Have you never pet a dog before?"
"What?"
"You're grinning like a two year old with a new bike," I said with a laugh.
He rolled his eyes at me. "I've pet dogs before. I love them, I always wanted one growing up, but my dad's allergic," he explained. Alice had told me that too.
"Mine was too," I said without thinking, smiling as I remembered Emmett and I begging Charlie thousands of times to let us get a dog. Then I realized what I said, and hoped he didn't ask about him. I was having a great day, and didn't want to go down that road right now. I pulled my book of out my basket to occupy my hands and give me something acceptable to look at.
"What's that?" He asked curiously, with a nod towards my book. I bit back the obvious answer; a book. He was really helping me censor myself, not wanting to do anything that might upset him. Just the idea of making him frown was starting to hurt me.
I wanted him to like me, yes. But even more I just wanted to be someone who was likeable. I wanted to be better. It wasn't like I enjoyed being pissed off or depressed all the time.
"Inheritance," I said, hoping he wouldn't think I was trying to be anti-social. It felt sort of… surreal almost, hanging out with him like this. Just halving a nice, normal conversation with someone new.
And this was new, it was the first time we'd sat alone together and talked since he found out who I really was. This was real now, and it made all the difference to me. It had been two months since he'd come to New York, but he'd kind of been in my life for much longer. I knew so much about him, but nothing at the same time. I'd gone from thinking about him as the sweet boy who had played my brother, to hating him, then tolerating him, and now… this.
I liked being near him. I liked listening to his voice and seeing him smile. I really liked looking at him.
Too much. I liked all of those things too much.
"What's it about?"
"A dragon rider, magic, elves, dwarves… that sort of stuff," I said absently, still very much troubled with the path my mind was taking.
"Oh, like that Eragon movie?"
"Yes, actually." I frowned. I'd hated that movie, thought they'd butchered it. Solembum wasn't even in it! I loved the werecats. "This is the last book in that series."
"And this displeases you why?"
I loved the way he had phrased that, and grinned before answering as best as I could. "I really like the series, but it never should have been made into a movie. I find that the intricacy of the story is one of the series' best qualities, and those sorts of things are lost when shoved into a two hour time limit."
He nodded, I guess understanding me after all, and picked his paper back up. I took that as a cue to stop talking, and opened up my book.
I loved this book, and shouldn't have brought it today. I got completely absorbed in it, but could still almost feel him looking at me every time I turned a page. I tried to do it more quietly. I was thoroughly enjoying this though; I loved to read, but didn't have any friends that enjoyed it on the same level that I did. It was neat, just sitting next to someone and reading.
Doing something I enjoyed, but not having to be alone to do so.
"So, you like reading?" He asked suddenly. There was something incredibly hilarious about the way he asked that innocent, awkward little question, and I laughed out aloud while hiding my face in my book.
"Yeah, you could say that." I did, it just took a strong story to hold my attention. Hence the tons of only partially-read books on my shelves, but he wouldn't know that. Besides, books that I didn't like made excellent hiding spots.
"Why?"
"I find it relaxing, I guess. Sometimes it's nice to live in someone else's universe instead of my own for a while." I looked over at him, and when my eyes met his, he gave me that charming, crooked smile.
"I feel the exact same way. I still remember when I was young, I'd sometimes get so lost in a story, and in my mind it was like I was the protagonist, trying to picture exactly how they would feel, why they would do what they did. It's why I wanted to become an actor, I loved recreating it so much that I wanted to find some way to do it for the rest of my life."
His face was so animated, his enthusiastic smile contagious. It really felt like the most personal thing I'd ever heard about him. Yes, he's talked about family, friends, his ex before… but none of it was really him, just what others were doing in his life. Looking at the sparkle in his eyes right now, it was too easy to picture him as a child, hidden behind a book and getting happily lost in another universe.
Which is exactly what I did.
"For me, when I read a story, it just puts a million different possibilities into my mind, and most of the time I run away with those ideas, and they morph together, and it makes all these other stories develop in my mind. When I was a kid, I wanted to do nothing more than write them all down and see where they would take me. Make something tangible of my own, you know?"
He nodded with a smile. "Did you?"
"Did I what?"
"Write any of your own stories?"
I literally felt like he had taken out a knife and stabbed me in the chest. It took me a second to collect myself before I was able to offer him a neutral smile.
"I did, once. But it didn't work out very well."
"What do you mean? Just a bad plot?"
A sarcastic laugh escaped my lips before I could contain it. Bad plot? God, he has no idea how bad of a plot it really was. In one sense anyways, it ended up making us each a few million. "I'm sorry, can we just… talk about something else?" That heavy weight had settled over my chest again, making it hard to breathe, like the weight of it might just shatter me, and I automatically wrapped my arms around my torso to try and squeeze the sensation out and hold myself together at the same time.
"Yeah, of course," he said easily. I really don't know how he had the patience to converse with me, but he didn't seem bothered in the slightest for being deterred once again. The man was a saint, which went against what most people have told me about him. I took a steadying breath before looking at him, and pulled down my glasses a little to see him better. He was watching me back, and every second that passed I felt myself getting pulled deeper and deeper into his eyes. I then decided that I really didn't care what anyone else thought about him. I wanted to know the man who was in front of me right now.
"What sort of things do you like to do in your spare time?"
He seemed a little startled for some reason, and took his time answering. "I like running, video games… nothing too exciting."
Hmm. I hadn't pegged him as the type to be uncomfortable talking about himself. I was good at getting information from people though. I tried to think of something I wanted to know more about, and that beautiful piano I had seen immediately popped into my mind. Alice had mentioned something about him playing. I wondered why he hadn't mentioned that. "You have a grand piano at your apartment. Is that just a fancy decoration?"
"Uh, no. I play," he said, in a tone implying he had completely forgotten.
"Well, that's something that can be considered exciting," I pointed out, then looked back towards my book so he wouldn't feel like I was pushing him. I realized then how selfish it was of me to pry for details about him when I already knew so much.
It must be horrible, being a celebrity. Lots of people knew a lot about him.
"What sort of music do you like?"
"Anything and everything except for country. I have a zero tolerance policy for country music. You?"
"Mostly classical and classic rock."
That wasn't bad. "Cool." I wanted to ask him about bands and favourites, if he played music like that on his piano, or any of those beautiful guitars he had, but I felt too guilty.
"So, do your parents live in the area too?"
Shit. Be cool, maybe he'll just let it pass. "No."
"Oh. Do you still see them often?"
I hadn't been able to visit Charlie's grave since I've come to New York, it just wasn't safe. The realization that it had been three years was sobering. "Not really," I evaded.
"So you're not very close?" This seemed to really surprise him for some reason, and I saw that he just wasn't going to drop this easily.
"I was close with my dad, but he died when I was seventeen. My mom died giving birth to me, so I never met her. It's just me, Emmett and Rose."
"Oh, I'm sorry," he said softly.
"Don't worry about it." I really hoped he didn't get all awkward now. "Are you close with your parents?"
"Very, although I wasn't for a while. I'm glad I changed that." I had figured he was, Alice told me that both of them got together for dinner with their parents about twice a week. I couldn't keep this up with him, the guilt was eating away at me now. "What's wrong? I'm sorry if I-"
"No, it's not you," I assured him quickly. "I'm sorry, this is just really fucking weird. I feel guilty and weird asking these questions, because I already know so much about you."
"What do you mean?"
Might as well get this over with now. "Well, first I'll mention the obvious. You're a fucking movie star, billions of people know tons of shit about you. But the night after you came to the club and were being a fucking weirdo, I did a background check on you to make sure you weren't dangerous." Shit, my brain to mouth filter, or lack thereof, was screwing this up. "It's a habit of mine, but I won't say it's a bad one because I'm used to my intuition being pretty spot on, and it's helped me out a lot before." If I hadn't done it, Emmett and I could be dead right now, if I hadn't out that tracker in his e-mail. But then again, he probably wouldn't have done it if I hadn't been so dead-set on not trusting him sooner.
He seemed unbothered, yet curious. "And what did you learn about me?"
"I know that your father is the chief of staff at his hospital, that your mother is a landscaper, I know all about your sister of course, and then your cousin is like a sister to me, so I know about more of your family. I know you lived in LA for the past five years before coming back here. You're record is completely clean. You're apparently a fucking genius and got crazy awesome grades in school, especially in music. I didn't really dig any further than that. Alice really loves you, you know. And she seemed to really trust you, so I let it go."
I just couldn't bring myself to mention the movie. I couldn't. Besides, he already knew a shit ton more than most anyone has ever learned about me. He knew enough.
I still felt like shit.
"Hmm."
What? What did that mean? He didn't seem angry, but maybe he was trying to think of a polite way to say "No thank-you," and walk away now. I needed something more to go on. "Aren't you mad?"
"No, it's just a little unfair that you know so much more about me than I do about you," his voice was teasing, and I felt myself smiling slightly. "I think we need to even out the playing field a little bit."
There was only so much I could tell him, but I could play along for now. "Any how would you like to do that?"
"Answer some more of my questions."
"I'm not making any promises, but you can try me."
The look he gave me made my stomach flutter. I wasn't sure if I was nervous or excited, or maybe it was a bit of both.
"What's your favourite food?"
Okay, that was harmless. I felt myself relax, and lay back in the grass. "Pasta. I love spicy food too. Mexican. I love pizza." He copied my movement, lying back also.
"Favourite TV show?"
"Hmm... I don't really watch much TV, but I got Netflix a little while ago and am hooked on the Walking Dead."
"Why don't you watch TV?"
"No time, I keep pretty busy. And I guess you could say that I'm a little… impatient? Commercials annoy the shit out of me. I prefer to read."
"Do you have a favourite movie?"
Oh, I wasn't even going to touch that field. "I'll skip that one."
"How do you know Marcus Volturi?"
Same boat. "Skip."
"How long have you had Zeus?"
"Almost four years."
"How many boyfriends have you had?"
I froze at that one. I'd never actually dated someone. I'd never been on an official date, gone to a movie with a boy or anything like that. I just couldn't. All there had been was… Victor. "Skip."
"Oh, come on. Please?"
"No." Of all the things to push for, that was probably the worst.
"Okay okay, your favourite dessert?" Thank god.
"Anything with chocolate in it."
"Colour?"
"Purple."
"Seriously?"
"What's wrong with that?" Purple was a beautiful colour, and if he called me girly I'd break his pretty nose.
"Nothing, I was just expecting you to say black." I rolled my eyes, starting to think this grin was going to become permanent if we kept this up.
"Black is a shade, not a color," I pointed out, earning me a smile. My phone rang, and it was Rose's tune. I had a bad feeling about this, but answered anyways. "Hey Hun."
"Happy Birthday Bella! Are you ready? We're coming to pick you up!"
"Why? What are you making me do?" Rose had tried to dress me up and take me to the club last year. I had used my excuse that I was technically only twenty to get my way out of it. I didn't have that option this year.
"We're having a spa day, you me and Alice. It's a birthday present, and already paid for," she told me knowingly. "No refunds."
"Ugh! I thought you loved me, why are you doing this to me?"
"Please? I've been thinking a lot about what you said a couple weeks ago and… I want that too Bella. I just want to do something fun together."
Ah, the master of guilt. She knew how to convince me, and my voice came out much softer.
"Yeah, I know."
"Excellent! We might have some other things planned afterwards, and you better not get all defensive about-"
"Fine! Don't even try to fucking guilt trip me though, I know you're fully aware of what you're doing."
"Excellent! So, we're coming to pick you up," she repeated, and I realized then that if they got me, they were taking away my own personal transportation, and with that any quick means of escape.
"Sure. Give me an hour or two, I gotta go home and have a shower first." I hung up before she could find out what I was doing right now, and looked back over at Hollywood. He was watching me with a disappointed expression.
"Who was that?"
I sighed. "Rose. Apparently I'm being kidnapped for the day. I need get home."
"Oh, okay. You working tonight? I was thinking about swinging by."
I was filled with a flutter of excitement, until I remembered Rose's call. She wouldn't let me work today, of that I was sure, but I was fairly certain she would drag me to the club at some point. Did I want him to see me after whatever Rose and Alice tried to do with me?
He seemed happy hanging out with me when I was all sweaty and in my workout clothes, could their spa day leave me any worse off?
It didn't really matter, because I wanted to see him. I wanted to keep talking to him. "I might be around there for a little while, not quite sure at the moment really."
He looked worried for a quick second, but it morphed into an excited smile.
"Cool, hopefully I see you."
Shit, those words really shouldn't excite me this much. But they did. I got up, clipped on Zeus' leash, and he went from slumber mode to ready-to-run-a-marathon in the blink of an eye. I looked back at Hollywood, and our eyes locked for a moment.
What was I supposed to do? Alice was a hugger, should I give him a hug?
Nope, can't do that.
Maybe a hardy handshake? Fistbump?
Get out of here before you make an ass out of yourself.
"Okay. Well, bye."
"Bye."
I didn't let myself look back as we made our way over to my bike and left the park. We made our way back to my apartment in twenty-five minutes while I took out my frustration on my pedals. Zeus went to his bed and crashed after almost drowning himself in his bowl of water and I jumped in the shower.
It's not that I was nervous, it was just… I'd never done something girly like this before. Angela and I had sleepovers when we were little, but that was just watching movies about cute boys and eating candy. But a spa day?
Pretty sure that included touching, and I was not pleased by that. I knew she was doing it for what she thought was my own good, Rose liked to push me. She was worse than Emmett.
I was going out with Rose Hale and Alice Cullen, and those two could draw attention. I needed to dress carefully, and blend in with their style. I needed to look different so no one would connect me with any of my jobs. If Rose ran into a friend, I couldn't have said person noticing me from or at the club… Ugh, why does everything have to be so damn complicated all the time? With a sigh, I pinned back my hair neatly, put on my blond wig, then did my make-up very carefully before slipping into a black denim skirt, and a white blouse with a dark grey vest. After slipping on a nice pair of boots, I scowled at the stranger in the mirror before shooting off a text to Rose.
I took Zeus up to the roof one last time, and left him a big bowl of food and turned the radio on before Rose texted me back, and I went down to meet her.
She was driving, and I smiled when I saw who was in the backseat.
"Alice, why are you wearing a blindfold?"
"Happy Birthday!" She shouted, and searched blindly for me before giving me a hug. I laughed.
"Are you supposed to be my present? That sweet's, but I don't swing that way."
She laughed. "No, but I didn't think you'd want me to know where you lived, but I wanted to come, and this was an easy fix."
I pulled the blindfold off, feeling horrible. "I'm sorry Alice, I didn't mean to-"
"Nope! Cheer up! Even Jasper doesn't know where you live. I get it, it's like your secret base, and that's cool. I don't want you to tell me until you're comfortable, and you will be eventually."
"Has anyone ever told you how awesome you are?"
"Not yet today," she said with a grin, and we both laughed. "Oh my god! What are you wearing? You're adorable!"
"Oh god, shut up. I wasn't sure where you guys were taking me, so I took out one of my better disguises." I tried to pull my skirt down a bit more, but there just wasn't enough fabric, and I fidgeted uncomfortably.
. . . . . . . . . .
To say it was a long day would be an understatement, but I tried my best to keep a smile on my face for my two girly friends. The three of us went to a luxurious spa and were treated like science experiments. They got their legs waxed while I bragged about the benefits of home laser-hair removal, we had facials, some sort of seaweed wrap, and manicures and pedicures. I even went so far as to let them put clear nail polish on me. I felt like my skin was crawling constantly, and really wasn't enjoying it. But it really looked like Alice and Rose were, so I kept my mouth shut and just pushed through it.
All of that was nothing compared to the massage though. It shouldn't have freaked me out. The three of us were in the same damn room, and we all had female masseuses. When I got into that towel though I started freaking out, and I told them I didn't want to do it, but they were doing that big doe-eye fucking look and told me to just relax, that it would be fine. They looked so excited and I tried to suck it up again.
But as soon as her hands went over one of my scars I guess I sort of snapped. I didn't even remember what happened. I was lying down on the table one moment, and the next thing I knew I was curled up in the corner of the room, alone with Rose. When I calmed down enough to hear her voice and move again, I asked her if we could leave and she quickly agreed.
I felt horrible in the car. The awkward silence was pretty intense.
I should have just stayed in the park with Hollywood. Now they're walking around me like I was going to crack at any moment.
"I'm s-"
"No, Bella," Rose said, putting an arm around my shoulders. "You did nothing wrong. This was my fault, I went too far. I shouldn't have pushed you, and I'm sorry for putting you in that situation."
"Still, I should have just said something else, I just… really didn't want to ruin this for you guys."
"You didn't, and besides, this was for you, not us." She grinned knowingly. "Did you enjoy any of it?"
"Uh, yeah, sure," I lied. "I feel all gross and oily though, is that normal? Aren't you supposed to feel all fresh and clean after a day at the spa?"
They only laughed at me, and I felt myself relax as I smiled a little too.
"Well, no matter. We can do the rest at my place," Rose said.
"Rest of what?"
"Just smile and go with it Bella. You're not escaping that easily."
. . . . . . . . . .
I enjoyed myself much more at Rose's place than at the spa. After taking an amazing, long shower at her place, we all got dressed in fluffy robes and did our hair. Well, Rose did mine for me, but they each did their own. I had to admit it looked pretty nice in shiny, thick curls. Alice had a field day when I let her do my make-up herself. My eyelashes felt incredibly uncomfortable, but it was a necessity. I couldn't be recognized if they were dragging me to my place of work. There was no way I'd let Jake or any of my boys recognize me looking like this.
I'm Emmett's sister Bree from Chicago.
I hate Bree. Both of them, because I looked nothing like Bree from the Historical Society right now.
When we were all done, Alice came out with a large, flat box wrapped in silver foil with a pink bow, and I looked at it curiously.
"What's this?"
"A birthday present, of course. The spa was from Rose, this is from me," she said excitedly. I grinned at her, and tore it open.
I couldn't find any words when I took the beautiful dress out of the box. It was made out of this sparkling, soft, black material. It was conservative but modern with its high neck and long sleeves, and I absolutely loved it.
"Thank you Alice, it's beautiful."
"And it will fit you perfectly. Go put it on!"
"What? Why?"
"Because you're twenty-one and I'm taking you to the club this year! No one will even recognize you!" Rose was laughing excitedly.
Actually, I think cackling would be a better description. She was fucking evil.
"Please put it on! I have to head out for a bit, I'm going to meet you there later, but I want to see it first before I leave!"
With a resigned sigh, I turned around and walked back to the bathroom to get changed.
She was right, it did fit me perfectly. Of course it did though, this was obviously one of Alice's creations, and she'd lucked out with getting my measurements a couple weeks ago.
And as gorgeous as it looked, I felt extremely uncomfortable. I felt like I was asking for attention, and I knew for certain that I didn't want any.
But it was a gift, and I kept my thoughts to myself as I went back out.
Alice made that horrible squealing sound again when they saw me.
"You look amazing! I wish I could dress you up like this every day," she said wistfully.
"Not gonna happen," I warned her, not liking the look in her eyes. "It is beautiful though Alice, thank you."
"My pleasure! Well, I need to get on the move, I'll see you ladies in a couple hours!"
Rose took one look at me when the door closed, and ran to her kitchen. I followed after her, and she quickly put a large glass of white wine in my hand.
"You look like you're going to bolt," she explained. "Everything will be fine, okay? I swear, you'll have fun."
I just nodded, and downed the glass before Rose topped me up again.
. . . . . . . . . .
After Rose helped me polish off a bottle of wine, we killed some time with a bit of shopping. By a bit, I mean about two hours at Victoria's Secret. It was our thing, we usually went together about once a month. It's not like anyone ever saw what I wore under my clothes, but there was just something about wearing sexy underwear that makes you feel confident. Rose felt the exact same way, it was one of the first things we did when I was finally able to convince her to leave my apartment after I met her. We did swing by my place so I could take out Zeus for a bit, and I put on a nice pair of boots to go with my dress before Rose and I went out for dinner. Emmett got stuck at work where there was a problem with some new equipment, so it was just the two of us.
I was not having fun. People kept staring at us, and it was making me extremely uncomfortable.
So I kept drinking, trying to improve my mood, but it wasn't helping. Rose was up to the challenge of just getting shitfaced with me though.
"I look ridiculous, people are staring," I whispered to her for the third time as we walked out to grab another taxi. There was a group of men, five of them, about fifteen feet away. They were whispering and looking at us. "Take a picture, it lasts longer!" I shouted at them, which made Rose burst into giggles.
"They're staring because we look hot as fuck tonight," Rose said with a flip of her hair. I huffed in annoyance, and we both stumbled into the cab, and both burst into another round of giggles when I landed headfirst into Rose's chest.
It was kind of amusing, walking into my own club. Jacob didn't recognize me at all, but I was with Rose so we just walked right on through to the annoyance of the large line of people going around the corner. My mood fell again when the stares started up once more, and I was tempted to kick every single person out of the club. I was immensely relieved once we got up to the third floor and took a seat at Rose's favourite semi-private table.
Henry dashed over, asking what Rose and her beautiful friend would be drinking tonight.
He was so fired.
He brought us each a glass of white wine first, then came over with a tray of shots.
"Shit, Rose, we probably shouldn't-"
"Not only are we celebrating, but I'm trying to cheer you the hell up. Are you saying you can't handle it?" She said, knocking back a shot.
I glared at her, and knocked back two. We kept that up until they were all gone, and I was starting to smile until some stranger came and sat next to me. I looked at him suspiciously.
"Hey there, would you like to dance?" He asked me sweetly, his eyes looking over me.
"No."
"Aw, c'mon. I'm a great dancer."
I didn't consider this, drunkenly grinding against people to a heavy beat, dancing. I could tango, salsa and waltz, but for some reason those just weren't socially acceptable in today's sort of clubs.
Not like I'd touch him either way.
"I said no, now get the fuck away from our table," I hissed. He just gave me a sweet smile, then got up and left nonchalantly.
"Way to be gentle on him," Rose teased.
"You like me because I'm not gentle with people, don't even try to deny it," I teased back. She grinned, and took another sip of her wine. "Oh, looks like the party is about to start," Rose said, nodding behind me.
Alice, Jasper and Hollywood walked into the room, and whereas Alice and Jasper quickly made their way over to our table, Jasper wishing me a quick and quiet happy birthday, Hollywood was looking around for something, and seemed thoroughly discouraged when he didn't find whatever it was.
Was he looking for me?
Shit, I shouldn't have done this, I look ridiculous, he's going to make fun of me.
But he just dropped into the seat next to me, completely ignoring me with that disappointed scowl on his face.
God, he smelled amazing. I was tempted to lean closer, but caught myself, and my irritation peaked. What was wrong with me? That was creepy.
"Hello to you too Edward," Rose said in her perfected sarcastic voice.
"Hey Rose," he sighed. "Where's-"
He turned his head then, looking at me, and just sort of stared. Fucking hell, what was wrong with the world today?
"Take a picture, it lasts longer," I said, not for the first time today.
"Uh-" I turned to face him, shooting him a warning look, and he burst into laughter.
I fucking knew it. I was out of here. Done. It was my birthday, and I could do whatever the hell I wanted. Asshole was too busy laughing at me to let me out of the booth, so I smacked him hard on the back of his head before hopping up on the table and sliding past him before storming off.
He came after me though, it felt like I blinked and then he was suddenly standing in front of me. I stopped, and crossed my arms over my chest. The room was spinning slightly.
"You look fucking gorgeous," he blurted out. It was too late though, he had already laughed.
"Fuck you Hollywood."
"I'm serious. I only laughed because of your expression. You're too fucking beautiful to not be smiling, the scowl was just too much for me to handle. I'm sorry."
It seemed like he was being honest, but I was pretty tanked and it made it hard to tell. The way he was looking at me… Why did it piss me off so much when other guys looked at me like that, but with him… I didn't really mind?
I liked the way he looked at me. Besides, it was different, he was usually staring at my face.
And… I didn't want to send him away. I wanted to see if we could still talk like we had this morning, or if that had been just a one-time fluke, the universe giving me a break on my birthday for once.
I sighed. "Laugh at me again, and I'll break your nose," I warned, walking back to our table.
Emmett cut me off, his eyes going wide before he burst into laughter and picked me up like a doll.
"What the fuck did Rose do to you!"
I hated being picked up, and he fucking knew that. "Fuck off and put me down Emmett!"
"What, can't fight me in a dress and heels princess?"
Oh, that was going too far. I punched him in the face without a second thought, and he dropped me. I was surprised I landed as gracefully as I did. My brother laughed, rubbing at the spot.
"Okay, I guess I deserved that."
"Fucking right."
"Oh well, Happy Birthday!" He hugged me tightly
Shit, he couldn't say stuff like that in places like this. "Shhh! Fuck off Emmett!" He let me go, and I dropped into the empty seat in exasperation.
Right next to Hollywood. He was between me and my glass of wine, and I seized the opportunity, leaning over him to reach it.
God, what sort of cologne was that? It was amazing.
"It's your birthday today?" He asked quietly. Well, the cat was already out of the bag, and I nodded. "Uhm, may I ask how old you are today?"
I thought about it for a minute. Do I give him Bella's age or Bree's age?
He didn't know Bree existed, as far as I knew. I was just Bella to him.
"Twenty-one."
"Seriously?" He asked loudly. He seemed really surprised.
"Yeah seriously, do you have a problem with that?"
"Not at all, you just seem a lot older." Ouch, jerk.
"Well, as least I don't look as old as you, old man."
"I'm not old, I'm twenty-seven," he shot back.
"Well, you seem a lot older," I returned to him, and he started laughing.
He didn't notice Emmett glaring at him, and my brother ignored my warning look as he sat down heavily at the table.
He looked up, his eyes went a little worried, and he shifted away from me.
I kicked Emmett hard in the shin, but he didn't even react to it.
"What are you doing here Cullen?"
"What do you mean?"
"You were banned."
He shifted uncomfortably, and I wanted to punch my brother in the face again. "Uhh… B lifted the ban like two weeks ago."
"Then why haven't you been at the gym?" His stern expression flipped to a grin, and Hollywood shot him a glare. "You should come back soon, it was nice having you around."
He stuttered over an "Okay," before turning his attention back to me. "Why didn't you tell me it was your birthday?"
"Because it was going well while I was trying to ignore it ," I told him honestly. I didn't want to get into that though, and knocked back the rest of my drink.
"You have a tattoo," he said in surprise, catching my attention. My back was covered, how did he-
Oh, my leg. I saw him give me another slow once over, his eyes stopping when they met mine. Then his face reddened slightly.
He was checking me out, and from what I saw… he liked what he saw.
The feeling was very mutual right now. I was still fighting the intense urge to lean in closer to him.
"Yes, I do," I needlessly pointed out, just wanting to say something. I couldn't look away from his eyes.
"Can I see?" He asked in a hopeful whisper.
I let myself lean closer then, using my whisper and the loud music as an excuse for myself. "I don't think that would be very appropriate," I warned.
He cleared his throat. "Why do you say that?" He was staring intently at my mouth, and I wondered… kissing couldn't be as painful as Victor made it, otherwise people wouldn't do it so much, and seem to like it. I knew that, I wasn't an idiot, it was just hard to believe. God, I was so dizzy, but he had asked me a question… what was it? Oh yeah, no, definitely not showing off my ink with Emmett at the table.
Not that I really cared about that, but I'd be disappointed if my brother scared this beautiful man off right now…
"Because it goes up, and up, and up, and if my brother saw me taking off this dress for you in the middle of a club you'd be dead within seconds," I whispered, trailing my fingers over the design. He closed his eyes tightly for a second, taking a deep breath.
Bella Renee Swan, shut your slutty mouth right now!
I don't think I will, just look at that face.
He leaned in closer, and I could feel his breath on my neck. "Then show me somewhere else."
Oh, the deep tone his voice had taken was doing dangerous things to me. I was surprised to find that I liked the effect I seemed to have on him. He was watching me, and only me, just like he had since the first night I saw him.
"Well, you would like that, wouldn't you?" This was fun, I've never honestly flirted with someone before.
Holy fuck, I'm flirting with Edward Cullen.
That thought made me burst into giggles. When I was able to stop, he was watching me with that intent gaze, those burning eyes, and I couldn't resist the urge to wink at him.
I was flirting with a guy, and I was having fun doing it. I wasn't freaking out or anything.
"No, I wouldn't mind that in the slightest," he said with a playful grin. "Can you tell me what it is though? My own imagination is driving me insane."
I bet it is. "It's the Scorpius constellation."
"You're a Scorpio?"
"Nope."
"Then why do you have the Scorpius constellation?"
"Do you know the story of Orion and the scorpion?" He shook his head, so I went on to tell him. "One of the myths is that Orion was this really full-of-himself asshole hunter, thought he was invincible. He boasted to the goddess Artemis that he would kill every animal on the earth. Artemis was a hunter herself, but she respected and offered protection to all creatures. So, naturally, she was pissed the fuck off. So she sent a scorpion to deal with him. The scorpion killed Orion, and caught the attention of Zeus, who then later raised him to the heavens where he's now immortalized in the stars."
Shit, that didn't come out sounding very poetic at all. My vocabulary went to shit when I drank, but it was fun. He was listening to me with a smile, and didn't make fun of me for sounding like an idiot at least. I smiled back at him.
"It's a symbol. Even the greatest and strongest of hunters is not invincible. Anyone can be killed, and by something as small as the prick of a stinger. The scorpion didn't battle for fame or recognition, he killed for the protection of others. I respect that."
"Isn't Orion in the stars too though? It's like, the only constellation I know besides the big dipper," he said with a grin, making me laugh.
"Yes, but that is Artemis' doing as well. Zeus raised him to the stars at her request to serve as a reminder to mortals to curb their excessive pride."
"That's fucking cool. They should make a movie about that," he said, sounding completely serious.
"There are lots of books about it," I pointed out. I wondered if he had ever thought about directing. I bet he'd be good at it.
"Do you have any other tattoos?" He asked curiously. I was tempted to laugh. The scattered stars on my thigh were nothing compared to my wings.
"Hmm," no, I wouldn't tell him. That would take all the surprise away when he did see it.
At Rose's wedding, because of the dress. That's the only reason he's going to see it.
"Where would be the fun in just telling you that? I think it's much more entertaining letting you speculate." He groaned in frustration, and I gave him a gentle pat on the shoulder. My bladder was about to explode. "Now move over Sherlock, I need to get out."
He seemed horrified, and made no move to get out of my way. "Why? Where are you going?"
Okay, that was cute. "I need to fucking pee, now get out of my way."
He laughed before moving, and I quickly made my way over to the bathrooms.
I hardly recognized myself when I looked up at the large mirror above the sinks. I really did love the dress Alice had made me, and though slightly messy my hair looked pretty awesome. But it was my face that got me; my cheeks were slightly flushed, my eyes looked huge and… I was smiling for no damn reason.
I looked like just another normal girl, out at a club on a Friday night, with a whole group of friends. It felt pretty amazing, I have to admit.
I headed back out, and saw Jasper smiling at me from our table. I gave him a little wave, but then my view of him was blocked by a large torso. I looked up.
It was the same ass who had sat at my table earlier, smiling down at me. Wow, he had some balls.
"So, changed your mind I see," he said stepping closer and reaching for my hand. I stepped to the side, and he mirrored me.
"No, I haven't actually. Move."
He blocked my path again. "You know what? I really like you, even with this whole prickly attitude you've got going-"
I just pushed him out of my way, losing my patience, but as soon as I stepped past him, I felt his hand on my ass and snapped.
Oh, HELL no. I spun on my heel, which was surprisingly easier in these high-heeled boots, and punched him in the face. I would have knocked him to the ground and started yelling at him had my brother not pulled me back.
"Hey, I need to take care of this okay? You draw more attention in a dress than in your work clothes," he reminded me gently. That sobered me up a little. I was too pissed to say anything, but he was right, and I just turned around and went back to the table.
That little confrontation gave me a different opinion about how I had been interacting with Hollywood and… I really wanted to sit next to him, but I felt disgusted with my behaviour. I couldn't do it, and sitting that close to him messed with my mind.
So I sat down next to Alice.
"You okay?"
I rolled my eyes. I felt kind of disoriented, the liquor and emotional turmoil not mixing well at all. And I was just so fucking angry still, I wanted to break his fucking hands. I was shaking slightly from my rage when I reached for my drink. Hollywood handed it over. Even his small smile did nothing to calm me down, and I answered Alice honestly. I had less control of my mouth than usual right now. "Of course, I just can't fucking stand it when people touch me. I should have broken his fucking hand."
Alice grinned, and poked me lightly in the side mischievously. Just like that, she flipped the switch and I started laughing. That was pretty cute.
Two months ago, I would have flinched. Now I wanted to hug her. "You know it's different with you Alice," I didn't want to talk about my issues right now though, and thankfully there was an easy way to change the subject quickly. "So! Three fucking weeks Rose! Are you excited?" Emmett came back and sat down next to Hollywood.
"Of course," she said, and told me how obvious that change had been with an eye roll. I didn't care. "Did you finish with the guest list?"
There were only about sixty people, a few of which I already knew, and they had been light searches. I only dug deeper on about twenty of them, so it had only taken a couple weeks. "Yeah, they're all checked out. I've got the security set too, not a single fucking camera or phone is going to get in there except for Leah's."
I loved the excited glow in her eyes, but there was still a shadow of worry that was proving difficult to remove. "So we can really do this? You can come and say you're Emmett's sister and everything?" I smiled at her and nodded my affirmation for the thirtieth time, and must have missed something at the table. Jasper had a rare hint of irritation in his voice.
"I've known B longer than Rose has, she's always safe around me."
"Sorry," Hollywood replied. He sounded sincere.
"Whatever," Jasper said, still sounding annoyed. What the hell was that about?
We all talked about the wedding for a little bit, and I felt myself start to relax more. This is what I had wanted for so long, to be part of the crowd and not observing it. I liked it even more than I thought I would.
But good things never last, which was proven when my personal phone buzzed. Everyone that knew that number was sitting at this table, except for…
Alec.
I took my phone out of my purse, and gave Emmett a look as I got up.
Alec is calling me on my Birthday. My stomach rolled. "Excuse me," I told the table, the room spinning as I ran in the direction of my office. Embry went to stop me from going back there, and the warning look I gave him alerted him immediately to who I was. "Say a word and you're fired," I warned him, and he gave me an understanding nod before I passed by.
"Alec?"
"Hey Bella. Um, is Emmett with you right now?"
I turned around in the stairwell, and sure enough Emmett was running down after me, holding my purse. I nodded before realizing he couldn't see me, and tried to clear the growing lump in my throat so I could force some words out. "Yes, he is. What happened Alec?"
"Bella, I'm so sorry, I hate having to call you about this on your birthday but I thought it would be better for you to hear from me-"
"Where did they find her?" I whispered. Emmett put his arm around me.
"Jacksonville, about two hours ago. I just got the call."
There were only two ways they could know it was him that quickly. Someone saw him drop her, or he left me a note.
He always left a note.
"What d-did he say?" I choked out, the tears starting to well in my eyes, blurring my vision even more. My voice echoed in the stairwell. Alec didn't answer. "What did he say Alec?" I said, much more loudly. He sighed.
"He loves you and… he wished you a happy birthday," he whispered.
The tears flowed over, and I held out the phone to Em before leaning against the wall and sliding to the floor. I could hear him talking, but the words sounded hollow, far away.
She's dead. Some girl, who didn't do anything, didn't know me or Victor, was probably just in the wrong place at the wrong time. A girl that could have a family, parents, siblings, friends, a boyfriend… She was dead.
For no other reason than it being some stranger's birthday. My birthday.
Victor was in Jacksonville. How far away was Jacksonville?
I didn't care. I jumped to my feet and shot out the door into the alley. Emmett was sober though, and caught me quickly, grabbing me and picking me up.
"Let go! I need to go Emmett!"
"To where, Jacksonville? It's one in the morning and you're drunk, and he's probably already a hundred miles away from there and going further every second. You can't do anything Bells."
He was right, but I needed to do something. I couldn't think, my chest hurt and I couldn't breathe and my ears were ringing. "I have to, I have to do something, I can't keep doing this Emmett, it's my fault, I should have died, it's-" there wasn't enough oxygen to talk and breathe. It's all my fault, how many more people would die because of me?
"B! You need to calm down. Breathe! This isn't your fucking fault!"
"How can you say that it's not my fault Emmett? She's fucking dead! And he's still out there!"
He tried to pull me into a hug. "I know sweetie, but-"
"Don't hug me Emmett, I don't want to be fucking coddled right now," I said angrily, pushing him away and trying to pull in more air. I didn't know what to do, what could I do? What were my options? I started pacing, trying to calm the chaos in my mind even the slightest bit so I could think. My hair kept sticking to my face and I angrily tried to push it away.
I went to a spa, got my hair done, dressed up all nice, went shopping and got drunk, celebrating while he was raping and killing some girl.
And he wasn't going to stop. He was just going to keep doing it, until he found me. I knew that. Just like I knew exactly what he was doing to each of those women. What he did to her today. Flashes of that night started spinning though my mind, making me nauseous.
"I need to find him Emmett, he's not going to stop. He needs to die," I said, because at that moment, that was the only thing in the world that made sense to me, that I was sure of; Victor needed to die.
"Hey, you can't put this on you. It's not your fault you lived. You've been looking for him for seven years, I know you have, you've made more effort in his case than every other cop in the fucking country combined. You need to stop putting this on yourself. You know dad would say that too, you know I'm right."
There was logic in his words, but they changed nothing. Yes, it all started because I wanted him found, I wanted justice, so I shared my story. A lot of fucking good that did. As long as we were both alive, people would keep dying. "But I- I-…" I couldn't process anymore, and felt the world shift around me. Emmett caught me though, and I held onto him as tightly as possible. It hurt, it hurt so god damn much. No matter what I did, how hard I tried to protect as many people as I could, it wasn't enough. I wasn't enough. I was useless.
Emmett was quiet, and just held me like that while I cried. All there was right now was the pain, that heavy cloud settling over me, and the traffic on the street at the end of the alley.
And then I heard a soft popping noise.
My head shot up, and there, standing in the doorway watching us, was Edward.
I just sort of froze. What was he doing here? How much had he heard?
No, I didn't want him to see this, I didn't want him to see me like this.
I wanted to go home, to go to sleep and never wake up again.
Emmett sighed, but thankfully didn't loosen his hold on me. I didn't think I could stand right now. But I did turn so that he couldn't see my face anymore. "Why the fuck am I not surprised? How long have you been there?" Emmett asked him.
"About three minutes. I didn't know what to do," he said worriedly. I heard his footsteps come over, and his voice was much closer when he spoke again, and very gentle. "Are you okay?"
I didn't trust my voice, it was still pretty hard to just breathe, so I just nodded.
"Is there anything I can do?"
Even after seeing me like this, he was still being so sweet. There was nothing he could do though, there was nothing anyone could do.
And I couldn't drag him into this. He was a good guy, he deserved better…
"No, but thanks," I said quietly, hating that my voice came out so shaky. I hated that I still so badly wanted to be close to him. It was one more thing I didn't deserve. A family was mourning, I didn't deserve to be comforted. They did.
"What are you doing out here?" Emmett asked him.
"I was just heading home. Do you want a ride B?"
My heart rate raced out of control, panic shooting through me. I forgot that he was Edward, all I knew was that I didn't want to get in a car with another man. I couldn't breathe. Please Emmett, please please don't leave me.
"Thanks Edward, but I can't risk any pictures being taken of her like this. The cameras would be all over the two of you if you got into a cab together." He tightened his hold on me.
"Oh, okay."
A car honked at the end of the alley. "Well, er, we have to go," Emmett said, and stood there uncomfortably. I took my chances with falling, preferring it to being here a minute longer, and started walking towards it.
"Later Hollywood," I said quietly, not waiting to hear a response. I froze in front of the door, not able to bring myself to touch it, but Emmett opened it for me, and gave me an encouraging smile. I slid in with a shuddering breath, and as soon as he was in he wrapped an arm around my shoulders. Emmett gave the driver my address, and we were quiet for the ride. I didn't mind, I didn't want to talk right now.
As soon as we got in, I walked over to my dresser, pulled out some clothes, and then jumped into the shower. I tried to scrub the tears, and the memories of his hands touching me off of me, but I didn't feel any better. Emmett was on my computer, no doubt going through all of the articles that would be starting to come up.
I curled up in a blanket in the corner of my couch, and leaned against Zeus when he came and sat next to me.
. . . . . . . . . .
The night had been a blur. Eventually the liquor wore off, and I couldn't handle it. I spent the most of the night on the roof with Zeus. Rose had come over at some point, and had coaxed me back downstairs and curled up in my bed with me. I didn't sleep.
Eventually I needed to do something, and I went onto my computer to find out more about the girl. Her name had been Danielle. She was 19, just started college, had two younger brothers. I found out where her parents lived, and got their mailing address.
I hated doing this, but it was better than nothing. This family needed the help, the father was unemployed and the mother was working two jobs. No life insurance, and they were already in debt.
I wrote out the letter, apologizing for what I could. I told them that I knew the money would do nothing to help with their loss, but that I hoped it would help from causing further strain on their family. I opened up my safe, taking out a hundred k, and packed it into a padded envelope with the letter.
I wish I could do more. I hope they didn't see it as an "I'm sorry your daughter died because she kind of looks like me, but here's some money." It was the only thing I could do to help, and it would cover any and all funeral expenses. Then Rose and I drove out of town so I could mail it from another city.
Victor wasn't the only person who wanted me dead, and I bet the number had climbed again last night.
. . . . . . . . . .
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