"I can't believe I'm doing this," Rumple huffed as he headed into Regina's house while Henry and Neal brought his bags in. "I just…I have much better things to do than standing around and being mocked by my ex-wife. The only thing that is even remotely okay about this is that I'm dressed in a decent suit again instead of those horrible jeans!"

"I'm sure you can find a way to make this bearable for yourself," Regina replied. "I might have done something for you to make it all worth it. And you really owe me for that."

"Oh?" Rumple asked and raised an eyebrow. "And just what did you do?"

"Hello!" Belle said with a smile. "Anyone looking for a maid?" She was grinning and wearing a maid's uniform while waving a feather duster at Rumple.

He chuckled and blinked several times. Was this real? Or was it just a wonderful hallucination? "You…you look wonderful," he blurted out.

"You're so sweet!" Belle smiled. "I don't know about the outfit. "Does it seem like it fits me? When Regina asked me if I would be willing to be her maid, I wasn't sure what to wear. I thought I might as well look the part."

"Yes," Rumple said immediately, taking in every curve of her body and the fullness of her breasts, which were practically popping out of the black dress. "It fits well in all the right places."

Belle blushed and smiled, and then they stared at one another for a long moment. It seemed then that the rest of the world had fallen away and it was just the two of them. They shared a long, lingering kiss, which Regina rudely brought them out of with a deep frown.

"Gross!" She complained and zapped them apart.

Surprised and irritated by the intrusion because they'd momentarily been in a place where she didn't exist, they glared at her. Rumple opened his mouth to protest, but Regina cut him off.

"Look," she said firmly, "you two can play out your little maid/master fantasy in private, but now we have work to do, people to defeat, and we need to make a plan to do that. Have you forgotten?"

"Oh, right," Rumple nodded and reluctantly turned away from Belle. "Why do we need to talk about it? The plan is that we are your servants, you're gonna invite Milah and Zelena here, they're gonna see what I've been reduced to, laugh their heads off, and then go on their merry way, your allegiance secured in their minds. Isn't that right?"

"Well, yes," Regina nodded. "I guess we don't need to discuss it, then."

"Damn right we don't," Rumple nodded. "Let's just invite them over and get this done."

Regina went off to do just that and Henry told Rumple, "You can do this. It'll be just fine."

"Thank you, Henry," Rumple told him. "That's something I needed to hear."

"And I know it will be hard, but no matter what they do to goad you into anger, keep hold of your temper," Neal reminded him. "Please."

"I'll try and behave myself," Rumple assured him. I swear." Then he turned his gaze back to Belle. "And I guess that while other people are here, we have to pretend like we don't enjoy each other's company. It'll be difficult, but I think I can do it." He smiled. "Can you?"

"Yes," Belle sighed wistfully and played with his tie. "I guess I can if I try really hard."

Regina then returned a few minutes later and said that Zelena had told her that she and Milah would be more than happy to visit as soon as possible. "I guess they did really want to see what you look like in a servant role," Regina mused and then laughed, even though she didn't mean to.

"Of course Milah wants to," Rumple huffed. "Putting me in that degrading position regardless of how I deserved better was probably the highlight of her life."

He sat down with a huff and didn't get up again until the doorbell rang. "Okay," Belle said and helped him to his feet. "Lights, camera, action!"

"I love your house!" Milah said in a loud voice. "It's so grand and big and wonderful!" She paused. "You must need servants to run things. Do you have them?"

"Yes, I do," Regina told her. "You'll meet them once we get to the living room."

When the guests were brought to meet the "servants," they were all on their feet.

"This is interesting," Milah said. "Can I ask why you're making my son work for you, Regina?"

"She's not making me do it," Neal told Milah. "I chose to in order to help my father."

"Oh, yes," Milah said, looking at Rumple dismissively. "How good of you to do a kindness for such a man." She sat down and said to Rumple, "I want tea. A little milk and two sugars would really hit the spot."

"Yes, ma'am," Rumple told her, between his teeth. "I'll get that for you right away."

"I'll come with you and help," Neal said.

"I have to hand it to you," Zelena told her sister. "I'm pleased that you put that Rumplestiltskin in his place. I've always wanted to do it myself."

"Well, you know," Regina smiled. "We've known one another a long time, and after all that time spent together, you learn a weakness or two and how to exploit them." She laughed and then looked at the pair. "You both look tired," she observed and took a sip of tea. "Did you have a bad night?"

Milah and Zelena scowled at one another. "Well, I can't say it was a good one," Zelena told her sister. "Just as I finally drifted off to sleep, this horn just kept blaring very loudly and wouldn't stop. Did you hear it?"

"No," Regina shook her head as she caught Sidney's eye while he stood outside the house, peering in a window and winking at her. "Can't say I did. I hope it doesn't happen to you tonight."

"I don't either," Zelena growled. "I need my beauty sleep."

"Where's the tea?" Milah asked. "It can't possibly take that long to put a tea bag in a cup of water."

"Well, maybe if you hadn't taken away his magic, he would have been able to do it quicker," Henry pointed out. "If you want it, maybe you could get off the couch and get your own tea!"

Milah's jaw dropped and she said to Regina, "Do you always let your son talk to his elders like that?"

"You don't need to scold me, Mom," Henry told Regina. "I think I'll go to my room. I can't be in here anymore."

"All right," Regina nodded. "Maybe that would be best." So Henry left, stopping by the kitchen on the way to his room to tell him to get a move on if that was possible.

"Or maybe you can linger," he said with a shrug. "Maybe they deserve that. But please tell me you won't just stand there and let them bully you."

"I won't," Rumple reassured Henry. "I'll stand up for myself in my own way." And he proved it when he and Neal reached Milah with the tea and she immediately started in on him. "What could possibly have taken you so long to make tea?" She yelled. "You're just trying to annoy me, aren't you?" She then let out a cry as Rumple let the tea tray fall right in her lap.

"What in the hell?" She cried and rose to her feet. "Damn it, Rumple, this is a new dress!"

"And I could fix it if I had my magic," Rumple countered. "But I don't because you and your lawyer took it away. What a shame."

"I despise you," Milah told him, standing up and glaring. She was a little taller than he was, but this time, he wouldn't back down, no matter how angry she looked.

"Well, I never thought much of you either," Rumple replied. "The only good thing you ever did for me was give me Baelfire. I can thank you for that."

"Okay, you've both had your chance to vent, now let's all sit down and take a deep breath," Neal told them. "Mother, come into the kitchen with me and we'll see if we can't do something to get that stain out."

"Thank you," Milah smiled at him. "That's very kind of you."

So Neal and Milah went into the kitchen, leaving Rumple alone with Zelena and Regina. There was silence until Belle came in and began dusting.

"Couldn't you clean another time?" Zelena asked irritably. "We're trying to have a conversation here."

"I'm sorry," Belle said in an exaggerated French accent. "I didn't see anyone here." She smiled and went to hug Rumple. "Except for Rumple. I can't take my eyes off him, of course. And he feels the same way about me." She paused, peering at the redhead on the sofa. "What's your name again?"

"Zelena," Zelena said dryly. Though she tried to keep a so-called 'normal' appearance, seeing Rumple have a happy life with someone who wasn't her made her boil over with envy.

"My goodness," Belle said. "You're turning green!"

"It happens every time I get upset," Zelena explained and tried to calm herself down.

"And is that often?" Belle asked, getting close to study her. "I hope not. The green clashes horribly with that red hair of yours." She paused. "I could look in a book for how to cure it for you, if you'd like. Or if we don't find anything, I could study you and find a solution."

"I'm a witch not a test subject," Zelena said irritably. "And you're very pushy for a maid."

"Well, fine," Belle replied. "If you want to go through life clashing, that's your prerogative. If you'll excuse me, I have some sheets to gather so I can wash them."

"You're going in the bedroom?" Rumple asked, striding after her. "May I help?"

"Remember, we're supposed to be subtle!" Belle whispered when they paused by a bedroom door. "Now get back there."

"Well, I wouldn't call what you just did 'subtle'," Rumple stated.

"I only did it because I felt like she needed to be brought down a peg or two because of how she treated you before," Belle explained. "I wasn't doing anything that would distract us from our jobs."

"Oh, damn," Rumple said, shaking his head as he went back to the living room. "Let's hope they leave soon."

He was on his way back to the living room when Sydney just happened to pop in. "Well, hello there," he said with a grin. "Anything I can do for you?"

Rumple scowled at the genie. "What could you possibly do for me?"

"I could get them to leave," Sydney said. "Would you like me to?"

"What would I have to do for you in return?" Rumple asked.

"I'm not like you," Sydney told him. "I don't ask for favors in return when I grant wishes. It's all part of the job. I'm a member of the team now, remember? This is how I can prove it to you."

"All right, fine," Rumple nodded. "Make them go away."

"You know the phrasing you have to use if you want anything from me," Sydney reminded him.

"Really?" Rumple groaned. "The 'I wish' can't just be implied? All right. I wish they would get the news they came here to get and then go away."

"Consider it done," Sydney smiled. He strode into the living room and put a hand on Regina's shoulder. "Excuse me, my queen," he said to her. "But don't you have a council meeting to get to?"

"Oh, yes, I do!" Regina nodded, and then turned apologetically to Zelena and Milah, who joined them later with Neal.

"Whatever it is, it can't be that important," Zelena told her. "Stay. We have things to plan. Unless you aren't really on our side after all."

"Of course I am!" Regina told her. "And I don't have to prove myself to you. If you want to believe that I'm not on your side, that's your choice. But I am. Why else would I keep Rumplestiltskin under my thumb?"

"She does have a good point," Milah replied. "We'll trust you…for now."

"Good," Sydney said and made the two wicked women disappear.

"Where'd they go?" Neal asked. He then turned to call for his father. "Did you make Mother disappear?"

"No," Rumple said. "Although I've wished many times that I did, this time was not my doing."

"It was mine," Sydney volunteered. "They were becoming a nuisance."

"All right," Neal nodded. "That…that's good. I think I'll go tell Emma that we've got Mother and her friend off our backs for now."

"I think I'll come with you," Rumple said and followed Neal to the door. "If I stay here any longer, the smell of apples is going to make me woozy."

"All right," Neal said and took his arm. "Let's go, Papa."

"Wait," Regina said and zapped Henry into the living room. "Would you like to go with your grandfather to see Emma?" She asked him.

"Yes, I would," Henry nodded. "Thank you."

"You're welcome," Regina told him. "But be back before nightfall, okay?"