Protector

by Kittanja

After a vicious attack when she was thirteen, Bella Swan writes a story about what happened to her to try to find and bring her attacker to justice. She had no idea what the ramifications of signing over the rights to have it made into a film, or what choosing Edward Cullen to play her brother Emmett would be. BPOV A/H A/U Canon pairings. Rated M for mature themes and later lemons!

10. Chapter 10

SM owns Twilight!

There's a link for the song in this chapter on my profile, under chapter seven for Something at First Sight. The artist is amazing, and has given me a lot of inspiration for this story. Check it out if you have the time!

. . . . . . . . . .

I only let myself mope around for one more day before I forced myself to work on Monday. Then Tuesday. And the day after… my life kept on going, every day that I woke up was just another day of guilt to be added onto my shoulders. There wasn't anything I could do though. I would never kill myself; I couldn't. There was the piece of me that kept telling me that if I did, Victor might stop. But he would also win, and there was no guarantee that he would stop. And I had people in my life. I couldn't do that to Emmett, to Rose. And then there was Zeus, Jasper, Alice…

Edward.

He'd become a permanent fixture in my mind. At first it was an anxiety. After I'd sobered up, I had been completely humiliated, repulsed with myself for the way I'd acted around him. I knew what his feelings were, and even if I did enjoy his company… it wasn't fair for me to act like that with him when I couldn't do… that. Then there had been the embarrassment, not only over my actions, but what he had seen in the alley. Me at my weakest. That wasn't an easy thing for me to get over; him seeing me cry.

He didn't change like the others did though. Alice didn't even know what had happened, and even she was acting like she was walking in a mine field around me. It didn't help with my irritability.

But Edward, he acted like he always did around me. He came to the club every Friday night, and always had a smile for me, kept an eye on me like he always did. Even though I hadn't actually spoken to him since my birthday.

He was becoming a constant in my life. Not just coming into the club every Friday. He had become a constant in my dreams; chasing the shadow of Victor out of my mind and helping me sleep. I even started having good dreams. Once or twice a week, we'd meet in my depths of my subconscious, laying out in the sun in central park. Just talking.

It was pretty sad that the only things keeping me sane these days were my dreams.

The three weeks after my birthday leading up to the wedding had been hectic. Along with my own life, work, gym, another tattoo session where Rory had started to do the colouring on my hip after adding the new name to a feather in my wings, there was a world of other things to take care of. There had been so much to do; the caterers, tables, chairs, linens, centerpieces, flowers, decorations, the cake, a DJ, and the song I had been working on with Jasper for Emmett and Rose. It was always a pain in the ass transferring money between my different accounts too. Then there was their trip that I planned in secret, with a bit of help from Alice. They weren't planning a honeymoon right away, and I knew that it was because of me. They didn't want to leave me alone.

That worked for me. I booked them two weeks at a resort in Fiji, and even got them that private plane. Alice had both Rose's and Emmett's measurements, and she'd been more than happy to come shopping with me to build surprise, packed suitcases for them so they could leave right from the reception.

And she'd had a blast helping me plan Rose's Bachelorette party. We took over the VIP room at the club, played a bunch of dirty games that made me extremely uncomfortable, we had ladies come in to give lessons in pole dancing, and a bunch of male strippers dressed as firemen. That had been the worst part, but thankfully none of them came anywhere close to me.

And who knew that there were so many foods that could be arranged to look like the male reproductive organ? I ate at home before going over.

It made the time fly by, for which I was thankful. Friday afternoon came, and we all got ready in the empty half of my apartment which I had set up. (No one was the wiser that I owned the building, and lived in the other half of the same apartment.) As the stylist curled my hair, almost just like Rose had for my birthday three weeks ago, that night was very present in my mind.

I wasn't going to be pulled down today though, or pull down anyone else. My brother was going to get married, Rose was going to officially become my sister tonight. There were no words for how happy that made me. Everyone I loved would be together to celebrate tonight.

And it was probably going to be a pain in the ass; I needed to enjoy the calm while it lasted.

"Edward is going to love that dress," Alice said, and I choked on my water, causing both her and Rose to laugh. I chose not to dignify that statement with a response.

"Does he know about your tattoos?"

"Of course not," I hissed at Rose. She grinned.

"Will you dance with him?" Alice asked excitedly.

"No! God, you guys are being fucking evil today, what's wrong with you?" They both laughed.

"It's not our fault that you're making it so easy. It's all over your face. You liiiike him," Rose sang.

"Fuck my life," I said with a sigh, getting up and checking the security monitors again. People were starting to file into the building.

"Seriously though, what are you going to do? Are you going to keep ignoring him?"

"I'm not ignoring him."

"You haven't actually talked to him in three weeks, I'd count that as ignoring."

"Yeah. What happened? You guys were getting along great on your birthd-" I dropped my glass, and it shattered on the floor.

"Shit, sorry B, I didn't mean to-"

"No, it's okay. I'm fine," I said, grabbing a dust pan and a dishtowel to clean up my mess. "I don't mean to ignore him, I just… don't know what I'm supposed to do. I feel guilty every time I smile at him, because I feel like every time I try to be nice I'm leading him on," I admitted.

Besides, they already knew that I couldn't talk to him at the club, I had warned Rose that I needed to pull back. It was saddening, but as soon as Jacob was ready I'd be leaving there. I'd stayed much too long as it was.

"Just because you smile at him doesn't mean you're leading him on. I'm not saying you should marry my brother, I'm just trying to get you to understand that you don't need to be afraid to be his friend. That's what you want, isn't it? You like talking to him, you like hanging out with him?"

I nodded.

"Then let yourself. Try. And you'll see that it's not as scary as you're making yourself think it is."

I didn't know what to say to that.

One of Sam's guys called through my ear piece, and I covered my ear to hear better.

"Miss Tanner, there's a Doctor Cullen here and-"

Shit, I was more nervous about seeing Edward's father than Edward himself. Sure enough, there were the other three members of the Cullen Clan, waiting for access into my building. "Okay, let him keep his phone. He probably has to be reachable for his position at the hospital. Just warn him about the photos please."

"Yes, are you sure?"

"Yes. I owe him a favour. Let him through."

"Yes ma'am, I will."

I turned to Alice. "Your parents just arrived," I informed her, then looked down at my watch. "Show time in thirty minutes! Your feet cold yet Rose?"

"Yes, but only because these shoes are cutting off circulation," she complained. I walked over to the fridge, and pulled out a bottle of champagne, carrying it over with three glasses. I set the glasses on the coffee table, and popped the cork, sending foaming champagne all over the clean wood floor. I could clean it tomorrow. We each picked up a glass and I poured for Rose, Alice and then myself.

"What's this for?" Rose asked.

"A toast. I wanted us all to remember our last drink together as three unmarried woman." I held up my glass. "To the bride!"

"To family!" Alice added. Because now, technically we would all be family. I'd be Alice's cousin-in-law-once-removed or something like that.

"To us," Rose said. "I love both of you guys, so much," she said thickly, and we all drank. "Shit, that's good! Hit me again," Rose said happily, and we all had another glass before doing a couple last minute touches.

"Okay guys!" I hit my earpiece. "This is StarFox; give me an update on the guests."

I heard the end of Sam's chuckle before he answered. "Falco, copy. Guests are seated an accounted for Boss. Groom's men are ready to take positions."

I looked at Rose. "You ready?"

"Hell yes!" She said excitedly.

"Okay, we're moving the bride, let's get the show rolling," I told the team.

We went over to the elevator, and I got the alert that that the men were all in position. We stepped in, and the door closed behind us. The freight elevator was pimped out right now, since the regular elevator didn't go to the top two floors. Everything in my building was extremely clean and well maintained though, so it just looked like a big, fancy-ass elevator with a pretty bench and flowers and other pretty shit. Emmett was going to laugh when he read his credit card bill, but he told me I could go all out, so I did.

"Once again B, it's beautiful. Thank you so much, for all of this," Rose said with watery eyes. I stepped forward and gave her a tight hug.

"I love you Rose. You're my family, and I'd do anything to make you happy, just like Emmett. Thank you for choosing him."

A tear rolled down her cheek, and I tried to carefully swipe it away without smudging her. "Hey, cut that out, Alice is going to kill me if I mess you up."

"She's right!" Alice warned with a laugh.

"Everyone's ready Rose. Are you?"

She took a deep breath. "Definitely. Let's do this," she said excitedly.

"And you're sure about your fa-"

"No. He could have chosen to be a part of this a long time ago if he wanted to. He's lucky I even invited him," she said seriously.

"Okay, let's do this." I lifted my hand to my headset. "The bride is ready. Cue the music, and then I'm out," I told my guys. Sam's guys really, but they were working a few other jobs for me tonight also. They'd been happy to when Sam told them how much I was willing to pay them.

"Good luck boss, we'll talk to you in a bit," Sam said, and I smiled as the music changed, and removed my earpiece.

"You're up Pixie." We had one last group hug, and Alice stepped through the open doorway, walking down the red runner.

I gave Rose one last look. "This is your last chance, are you sure you want to marry into this family?"

She grinned. "I've never been more sure of anything in my life."

"I love you Rose."

"Love you to, sis."

I smiled brightly at her, gave her a wink, then stepped towards the door. "See you in a bit!"

I made my way around the corner and… Holy fuck. There were a shit-ton of people staring at me. I plastered a smile on my face, and made my way down the aisle as calmly as possible. I had to stay in character. I was Emmett's sister Bree from Chicago. No one from the gym or club would recognize me with all this shit on my face, dressed like this. The temporary dye in my hair made it look almost the same shade as Emmett's too, almost black.

I was in complete control of this entire building. Nothing is going to go wrong. Just don't look anyone directly in the eyes.

It helped seeing Emmett, who no doubt knew that this was all sorts of fucked up for me, and when I reached the others by the minister I leaned in and gave him a kiss on the cheek, and he hugged me tightly.

"She hasn't bolted yet?"

"Nope, tried to convince her. She's all sorts of crazy. I think we're stuck with her."

"Sounds good to me," he said with a bright smile, and we both turned as Rose came into view, and everyone else stood.

It was then that I saw Hollywood. He was only a couple rows back, sitting right next to the aisle. He looked especially good tonight in his black suit, the top few buttons open without a tie, and that perfectly messy dark copper hair.

I was happy that I at least wasn't losing my Friday dose of Edward Cullen for the wedding.

Damn it.

. . .

It was a beautiful thing, seeing Emmett and Rose declare their love together and promise their lives to each other. I'd never seen two people more in love.

Though Alice and Jasper were a pretty close second. They didn't break eye contact for a moment while we were up there.

I made sure no one got too close while they signed their license with different names than they had said aloud, and that it was put away quickly so that no one could actually read it. Emmett and Rose made their way back down the aisle, followed by Jasper and I, then Alice and Garrett. I stopped to talk to Sam as we headed back inside.

"You can let the bartenders open up, let people find their tables, and keep the music going but not too loud. We should be back up in half an hour or so."

"Not a problem. Thanks again, for this. You have no idea how much you've helped me out with this job."

"Nothing to thank me for, I only hire the best," I said with a wink.

The six of us, and Zeus, made our way down to the empty apartment. Alice removed the train from Rose's dress, and Emmett opened another bottle of champagne. I had quite a few in there.

"This is a pretty awesome set up Bree," Garrett said, dropping down on the couch next to me. I was watching the monitors that were set up to watch the roof through the doorway to one of the bedrooms. There was one guy sitting there, watching the dozen screens, but I could see around him. I had them set up in here also, so they'd have their own break area and washroom, and not have to wait in line with guests on the side that the caterers were on.

"Thanks," I said, shifting away a little bit.

"How'd you find something like this?"

"There are tons of apartments that rent out their roofs, I just knew a guy. He lives in the apartment next door."

"Of course you know a guy. How do you know so many people when you don't even live here?" He draped an arm over the back of the couch behind me, making me cringe.

I didn't say anything. Usually Garrett kept his space whenever we were around each other. He was the first friend Emmett had made when we moved here, and they started hanging out together when Emmett hooked him up with a job at his new gym. I never trusted him, so I made sure our paths and schedules never passed at the gym. IT wasn't too hard, since most of the training he did was on the second floor. Emmett didn't talk to him about me, I was just his little sister from Chicago, and I visited with my dog every once in a while, and he'd always kept a polite distance.

But, he was being different tonight, chatty, and smiling too much. I didn't like it.

"By the way, you look gorgeous tonight," he said, leaning in again. I flinched away automatically.

"Garrett!"

"What?" he said with an eye roll, looking over at Emmett, who looked pissed.

They all looked fucking pissed, actually.

"Back off."

He held up his hands in surrender, sliding away on the couch with a grin.

I was thoroughly embarrassed, and got up to go over to the washroom. Jasper came after me.

"I'm fine Jasper, he just caught me by surprise. It's Garrett."

"Yeah, I know. And we all know you can handle yourself. But you're practically my sister too, and hitting on your friend's sister is crossing boundaries. Bro code, you know?" I laughed quietly, relaxing a bit. "You do look very pretty tonight though. We'll all have to keep an eye out for you," he said with a teasing wink. I smacked him lightly on the arm.

"You don't think anyone will recognize me after, will they?" I asked, finally voicing my biggest fear to someone. There were very few people here who could associate me with the gym, but I was still worried. Jasper wouldn't lie about something like this, he was unbiased enough to give me a truthful answer.

"Honestly, no. It's the bright colour, it completely changes everything. Your hair, skin, face. You're always pretty, but you look like a completely different person tonight. Keep smiling, that'll help too." I rolled my eyes, and we walked back out together.

"Things are calming down boss," the man watching the monitors informed me when I came up next to him.

"Anyone try to get in that wasn't on the list?"

"No ma'am."

"Thanks. Remember, that fridge is full of drinks and snacks. You make sure you guys help yourselves." He grinned and nodded at me. I went back over to my brother and sister. "People are mostly at their tables now, so whenever you guys are ready. There's still… two and a half hours before dinner will be served."

"What's the schedule like?" Emmett asked. Rose rolled her eyes and answered for me. "Speeches, some music, dinner, then dancing. Right?"

"Right."

"Well, let's get this party started," Em said, pulling Rose in for an intense kiss.

We made our way back up to the party, and once we took our seats I got the speeches started. They lasted for almost two hours, most of which I spent trying not to smile like a loon while I traded looks with Hollywood. He was watching me just as intently as he had that first night at the club, not taking his eyes off of me and not bothering to hide it. Alice and Rose's words kept running through my head. Just because he liked me didn't have to mean we couldn't be friends… to at least try. I wouldn't know what these feelings were unless I tried.

And I wanted to be close to him, to talk to him. I wanted to know this man that I just couldn't get out of my head.

We had planned on waiting until after dinner to play our song, but when Jasper stole my mic and signalled for another one, asking me about time before dinner, I knew that he had changed his mind and played along with his banter until I got up to get our instruments from the DJ. I had an amazing sound system for parties, hidden speakers all over the roof, that we both had our instruments hooked up to. I had a wireless receiver for my violin, but Jasper was too old school for such technology and I had to fight with his cable. He took his place on the stool next to me while I stood. I liked to move while I played.

The song was A Thousand Years. I saw Rose's eyes water when she recognized the tune. I was glad she seemed to like it, she'd been stumped for picking out a first song, and just told me to pick something pretty. I got lost in the melody, swaying with the beat as my favourite sound wrapped around me and calmed me, only opening them to check on Jasper and the dancing couple every few moments. I was just so damn happy, because I was with my family, and they were happy.

I felt especially pleased when I saw the impressed look on Hollywood's face.

He stared me down the entire time I was trying to eat, like, hard. It was really, really intense, and made it hard to concentrate on my food. I couldn't even look at him, it was too much.

And as soon as Rose and Emmett got up to dance again, he got up and quickly took Rose's seat next to me.

Well, here we go I guess.

"Hey Hollywood, having fun?"

"No."

What? I worked my ass off for this party, I thought I'd done a good job, and I was pretty offended. "Excuse me?"

"No, I'm not having fun, you've been torturing me all night and I think I'm about to lose myself to the insanity."

I felt my mouth open unattractively and quickly shut it. I… I didn't know what to say to that, and just kind of stared at him.

Emmett appeared by my side to distract me from Hollywood's intense gaze. "Bree! Come fucking dance, let's show these guys how it's done!"

I knew what he meant. Eight years of dance classes together, Charlie's idea to help with our clumsiness and balance issues when we were little, had made us pretty fucking good. Unlike my violin though, it wasn't something I was comfortable showing off. "Hell no."

"It's my fucking wedding and you're my only blood relative, you have to dance with me."

Ouch. There was no way to say no when he put it like that. "Low blow bro." I let him drag me away, looking back at Edward, and still having no comeback for his intense words.

"DJ! My good sir, I need those three songs we talked about-"

"Emmett-"

"I need to have a couple real dances with my sister, and then another with my wife!" Phew, at least he wasn't making me do all three, though the fact that he had preplanned this terrified me. I warily watched the DJ nod with a smile, and the music quickly changed as Emmett pulled me into the middle of the dance floor that was quickly being vacated because of the quick, Latin-style beat, and Emmett started fucking spinning me.

God, I'm glad Edward distracted me from eating too much. Our tango was a familiar routine, we'd one third place with it in one of our last competitions, but this style made me dizzy.

It had been awhile, but the man did most of the work in this sort of dance, so I just went along with the ride and prayed to god he wouldn't drop me. I wouldn't be able to do this with anyone but Emmett, it required too much trust. It brought back a lot of good memories though, Charlie cheering for us with a giant bouquet of flowers, Angela and Ben waving and taking pictures with us and our trophy. The watery smile on Emmett's face let me know he was thinking the same thing.

Once the song ended, it shifted into a softer beat, and Emmett effortlessly shifted us into a Waltz.

"I'm so happy for you Emmett. I love you so much, and I love Rose so much. It just makes me so happy seeing you guys together."

"I love you too," he said quietly. "And thank you so much for all of this. I know how much work you must have gone through. You know there's still a chance something could slip from something like this though, have you set up precautions?"

"I have a bag, it has everything we'd need, ready to go at a moment's notice. Paper work is set up just in case, but I'll be keeping on high alert for a little while to watch." He nodded seriously, but didn't look overly upset. We knew there was always a chance we'd have to leave eventually. We've done it before. "Have you talked about the protocol to Rose?"

"Oh yeah, months ago. She's with us no matter what."

I squeezed him a little tighter, and as the song neared it's end he just stopped and hugged me tightly. Rose got pulled into the hug as she approached, and then I pushed them both away so they'd dance and stop trying to compromise my mascara.

Edward was right there when I turned around, and I got slightly trapped in his eyes when I looked up at him, almost tripping over him.

God, why does he always smell so good? I was tempted to try and fix my hair, but knew it would be pointless.

"Can we dance?" He asked with a small, crooked smile. I could see that he was expecting me to say no, but he was still asking anyways. My heart fluttered excitedly, but I was frozen.

You've touched him before, even sat next to him. There's no reason to start freaking out. Calm down, just say something.

"You don't really like being touched," he added casually, surprising me. Was it that obvious?

Probably.

I nodded.

"What if I let you lead?"

Was he joking? No, he looked completely serious, and it did not seem like his style at all to let someone else lead. "Seriously?"

He gave me that warm, beautiful smile of his. "Sure, though I can't promise that I won't take over eventually. If you get uncomfortable though, I'll back off."

His words calmed me a little, contact was easier if it was under my own terms, but it still took another moment of internal debate before I threw that annoying, cautious voice out the window and held out my hand.

I wonder how serious he was about that? I grinned, and tried to twirl him. Not an easy thing, he was much taller than me, but ducked under my arm and let me spin him with an easy smile, and we both laughed.

I relaxed, and moved a little closer.

I'd never actually led in a dance before, and it was really weird, but we moved easily together. I think he felt it when I relaxed, or maybe he saw the tension fade in my face, because when a gave him a small, slightly-timid smile, he gave me a slightly-smug, crooked smirk as his hold on me shifted. I didn't panic, as he didn't break eye contact with me for a second. His hold tightened, and his movements became more dominant, though the way he held me was so gentle, almost reverent. He towered over me, leading me confidently, and even now where he was controlling me, holding me so close, I wasn't afraid. I wasn't even nervous. I felt almost safe in his embrace, and it seemed to make everything else, my thoughts, fears, the music, the crowd of dancers, just fade away.

The more that I realized I was enjoying it, the harder and faster my heart started thudding in my chest.

I was dancing with someone other than Emmett. I was dancing with a boy, a boy that could really fucking dance. I felt myself smiling and laughing as he spun me out from him, and then back into his body with his almost protective hold on me. There was nothing to think about except for this moment, and how much fun it was, being close to someone like this. I was actually disappointed when the song came to its end. Would he want to keep dancing?

The music changed, this time to a slow song. My stomach sank. Somehow the slow beat sped up my fear of being held like that. I'd never slow danced before, it was just something that was too weird to do with Emmett. I didn't think I could handle-

"How about a drink?" He said with an easy smile, taking a step back from me. My body relaxed, shutting off its panic, and I smiled and nodded. He led me over to the bar that was least visible to the crowd, and it was a relief because I did not want anyone gossiping about how Edward Cullen was paying attention to Emmett Tanner's sister. Fuck this was not a good idea, but I told myself I'd just chat with him for a few minutes, clear the air so that hopefully he didn't think I had been purposely ignoring him also. The idea of hurting him was very unpleasant to me. Garrett was waiting for a drink there, and I purposely ignored him.

I grinned when Edward pulled out a seat for me. What a gentleman. He sat down next to me, and tried to inconspicuously move his chair closer. He pretty much sat as close as he could without actually touching me, but conveniently, his broad torso blocked me from the view of the party completely.

And it was getting easier and easier to be comfortable with his proximity. I realized then why that was. He seemed to be able to read me extremely well. He never touched me to get my attention, or tried to surprise me. He didn't move too quickly around me. He even seemed to have caught on to my issues with crowded restaurants, and my compulsive need to be in a corner seat. Whenever I started to panic, he always seemed to know what to do, whether it be a step back to give me back my personal space or a comforting smile.

How did this happen? I took in a slightly shaky breath.

"Scotch for me, what would you like?"

"Whiskey sour, a double please."

"Sure thing beauti- uh, yes ma'am," he corrected himself, and I couldn't bite back my smile. Sam must have warned them. I looked back at Edward, who also had an amused look.

"You can't blame him, you look fucking stunning," he said easily. I liked that I didn't intimidate him, he was so normal around me.

Well, no. Normal wasn't the word. But something.

"You don't look so bad yourself, Hollywood." Understatement of the century, though I thought he looked even better in jeans and t-shirt. The man could really wear a fucking suit though.

"Thanks," he said with a slightly flustered smile. We were both quiet, and I looked around the room. I knew it was safe, but having this many people on my roof around me was still unsettling.

Calm down. You covered all the bases, everything is fine.

I knocked back my drink, and felt myself calm slightly. I motioned for another.

"God, this is so weird," I said, mostly to myself. The fact that it was weird was what bothered me the most. Even if I managed to find Victor and kill him, would I ever feel normal again?

"Are you okay?" He asked quietly, genuine concern in his voice.

It was time to start seeing if he could handle being my friend. My life was pretty fucking weird. "I'm fine, it's just… I'm not used to this. Being around so many people like this, being part of the crowd and not just watching it. It's weird, you know? After a while, you kind of get used to feeling invisible. It's unsettling."

He was quiet for a minute. Take your chance and run Hollywood, I won't stop you.

"I can't imagine how fucked up that must feel."

I shrugged. "It's only one night, tomorrow things will go back to normal." Back to trying to blend in, living as an unnoticed shadow that watched everyone else. I looked over the crowd out of habit, scanning for any sign of agitation, or a camera that might have gotten past security. No one seemed to be paying attention to us, and I was kind of thankful for some of Rose's dumb-as-air model friends that seemed to draw a lot of attention to themselves.

Edward laughed, and once again the sound seemed to almost ground me. "Hey, you need to just shut your mind off for a while and enjoy it, you're stressing me out just looking at you." He was right, I had a dozen guys up here doing just that for me. It was hard not to but-

Holy shit, the parental units have spotted me. What do I do? Should I run?

Shit, I made eye contact with the mother. The opportunity to flee quickly passed, and they were there.

Fuck my life.

Keep cool.

"Good evening Doctor Cullen," I said politely, looking him over. He better keep his mouth shut, I didn't like the way the bartender was paying attention to us.

"Hi, Bella is it?"

Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck. Alice must have told him my name, why would she do that? Did anyone hear? I looked around, and the bartender was attending to another guest. I had to say something quickly, but I couldn't. I fell back on my default, the nickname. People heard it wrong all the time, I couldn't give him two of my names. "Um, just B, actually."

"How's that shoulder?"

Oh, I would love to show you just how well it is now, with a punch to the face. I smiled as I rolled it. "Perfect, thanks."

"Edward, aren't you going to introduce me?" His mother hissed, smacking him gently on the back of the head. I fought back a smile. Esme Cullen just radiated mom vibes. I could tell though, there was something about this woman that screamed fierce. I wouldn't mess with her.

I had actually kind of looked forward to seeing her again, her party had been my inspiration after all. I was just glad that she didn't seem to recognize me.

"Oh, uh, B, this is my mom Esme. Mom, this is Emmett's sister B." He gave me an apologetic look, but I smiled back at him. This wasn't his fault, he didn't do anything wrong.

It wasn't his fault his father probably thought I was crazy. That was all on me.

"It's very nice to meet you dear! You did an amazing job with this party, you've got quite the knack for this sort of thing," Esme gushed. I was pretty flattered.

"Oh, well actually I think I should be thanking you."

"What do you mean?"

"I'm a bit of a fan of yours. That charity ball you did in central park last summer was my inspiration."

She gasped, and I saw the flash of recognition in her eyes. Fuck, why did I say that? I almost panicked, but then she surprised me.

She gave a slight nod with a look of understanding in her eyes. It only lasted a second before she masked it as recognition of my decorations, and looked around with a smile. "Ah! I see it now. Well, you did an excellent job, are you independent or doing this work through a company?"

God, no. I'm pretty sure doing this sort of work regularly would kill me. "Oh, no, this was just a one-time occurrence, for Em and Rose. I don't do this sort of thing often."

"Oh, well that's too bad, you could really make a name in the industry with this talent."

I don't want anyone to know my name. I'd give almost anything just to be a boring, normal girl with an unexciting life.

"Well, it was really nice to meet you," she said, and I didn't trust that smile on her face. I needed to talk to her, I needed to know what she'd do with her new information of me, if anything. "We'll leave you two to be, I hope we see each other again soon!" And with that she grabbed her husband and dragged him away.

I needed another drink.

"Fuck, I'm sorry about that, I-"

I laughed, and stopped his needless apology. He was lucky, I'd trade this empty, painful sadness for Charlie embarrassing me without hesitation. I hope he knew just how lucky he was. "Nothing to apologize for. Your parent's seem really nice."

"How long have you been playing the violin for?" He asked quickly

"Oh, uhm… since I was about five I guess." Pretty sure my dad regretted it for that first year or two, but I took to my lessons fairly quickly.

"You're really good." I got another one of those brilliant smiles, and felt my face reflecting it.

"Thanks."

"Do you have any more secret talents I should know about?" He asked in a teasing voice. I grinned.

"You'll just have to wait and find out now, won't you?" I hadn't even thought about what that implied before I said it, but he didn't give me a chance to panic.

"I'm looking forward to it," he said, leaning in slightly. It was a reflex to try and gain back that personal space, it was too hard to think with his face that close to mine. And there were too many people here. I was trying to blend as much as possible, Edward Cullen leaning in and whispering to me would make that impossible.

He frowned, and I hated myself for it.

I'm a horrible person.

"I'm sorry, I'm trying, but it's hard. I can't stay away from you. You're all I've thought about since that first night I saw you standing in the corner at the club. It's terrifying, but I wouldn't trade these feelings for anything in the world."

Holy fuck, where did he come up with this stuff? His words were so intense, and it made them hard to process. This is so wrong, I should push him away, or walk away now, but I couldn't. I couldn't hurt him.

I didn't want to leave. Not in the slightest. What do I do? He was staring me down with those intense green eyes, waiting.

"Edward…" I don't know what I'm supposed to do! His breath caught in his throat.

"Say it again," he whispered. I didn't flinch this time when he leaned forward, what was he talking about?

"What?"

"My name. You never call me by name," he said with a brilliant smile. I rolled my eyes and laughed.

"Edward." He sighed, and closed his eyes. His voice was very quiet when he spoke, and I had to lean forward a bit more to hear him properly. God, why did he have to smell so good?

"Bella," my heart fluttered hearing him say my name. The way he said it, it was strange. No one had ever said my name quite like that, the way his smooth voice wrapped around the word… I wanted to hear him say it again. "I want to know you. You already know I'm crazy about you, do you not feel any of this at all?"

That hurt. There was no way he could know just how much he affected me, I couldn't let him.

But I couldn't let him go on believing I was unaffected by this though. "I never said that."

"Said what?"

"I've never said that I didn't feel anything for you." His mouth popped open, and I hated that I couldn't leave it like that with a clear conscience. "But whatever this is… it's not fair to you. There's too much that you don't know about me, and the stuff you don't know… you'll be happier keeping it that way. I don't want to hurt you."

"The only thing you could do to hurt me is walking away."

He was wrong. He'd find out that Emmett and I had kept this secret from him, the entire time we knew him. He'd know just how fucked up I was, and worst of all, why. If I told him any part of it, it would all come out.

And he wouldn't feel the same way after he knew what Victor had done to me. Used me and threw me away like garbage. And if he did… if he cared that much that he still wanted to be with me, hearing what he did would hurt him.

"No, it isn't."

"Please, just give me a chance. Let me prove to you that I'm not going anywhere."

Easier said than done.

"How?"

"Tell me why you're in so much danger. What happened to you?"

I just sort of froze. I didn't know what to do, all I knew was that I really didn't want to tell him, but knew that I had to.

You won't know unless you try.

But I'm not ready to say good-bye.

You're being selfish.

I saw his hand coming, he was very slow and deliberate with his movement, and he gently put his large hand on my shoulder. I couldn't stop my body from tensing, but I didn't flinch away either.

It was the anticipation I think that scared me the most, because once his hand was already on me, just like when we were dancing, I realized that I was comfortable. The fear of contact dissolved, and my body relaxed.

It's the fair thing to do, he deserves the truth. He needs the facts.

"Okay," I said quietly. Too quietly, I cleared my throat and looked around, trying to take back some personal space so I could think clearly. "Just… not here. The party should wind down in another hour or two, then-"

Rose screamed, cutting me off, but it was Edward's reaction that stole my attention. He shot to his feet, tucking me behind him, shielding me while he looked for the source of danger.

Saying I was stunned didn't begin to describe that. Talk about role-reversal.

And it was incredibly sweet. I felt myself smile.

Rose ran over to me, and I saw that she was clutching onto the big white envelope I had left on her seat. She pushed Edward out of the way and pulled me into a fierce hug. She was crying.

"B, what is this?"

"Calm down Rose, it's just a little wedding present." Did she really have to scream? The entire party was watching us.

"Thank you. Thank you thank you thank you, I can't believe you did this," she cried. I held her tighter, ecstatic that I had been able to make her this happy. Emmett joined the hug, crushing us both.

Now, all I had to do was actually convince them to get on the plane.

"But we can't, with the businesses and-"

"I'm taking time off from the library while you're gone, I've got them covered, really. You guys have nothing to worry about." I'd be crazy-busy, but it was manageable. I saw the arguments in their eyes, and gave them both a serious look.

I was twenty-one years old. I didn't need to be babysat.

"Thank you," they said, and it was getting a little too emotional for my comfort level.

"Sure sure. Alice packed bags for you, they're waiting in a limo downstairs when you two are ready to go. Enjoy the party though, he's not going anywhere."

"When's the flight time?"

"Whenever you get there." Yeah, that's right, I got you a private plane. And felt damn proud of it. They were going to have a blast.

"But how-?"

"Don't ask questions, just enjoy it." I gave Rose a kiss on the cheek, then took a cloth napkin from the bar and tried to carefully dry her face. "Now go socialize! You're getting me all wet."

I didn't want to risk them seeing it. No matter how much I wanted them to do this, would force them if I had to, the thought of being alone, without either of them for so long was painful. They smiled at me, and went to go brag about their honeymoon to their friends.

"That was very generous of you," Edward said in an odd voice. It really was nothing, barely put a dent in my nest egg, but I wasn't going to tell him that. Yet.

First things first. I had to come clean on the bigger thing.

"They're all the family I've got, I'd do anything for them."

Sam caught my attention as he walked over, and leaned in to talk to me quietly.

"Someone's alerted the press, for some reason they think Mr. Cullen here got spontaneously married on a roof?"

I sighed. Of course that would happen. Why hadn't I thought about that? I thought sarcastically.

This wasn't his fault though, I knew that, and gave him a smile before I told him I had to go. I didn't want to, because I knew it would be reckless to come and talk to him again. I'd already sat with him for too long, but now Alice's words were repeating through my mind. So I just told him straight up that I couldn't talk to him again during the party. He looked disappointed, and I hated that I liked the idea that he didn't want me to leave, but he gave me an understanding nod before I left with Sam.

There was a group of about twenty trying to get into my building, and one of Sam's guys were blocking their path, while also trying to help some tenants get in safely.

"This isn't a public building. It's private property. There are signs up. Let them get into the lobby and call the cops. Have them charged with trespassing."

Sam smiled. "Good plan boss." I took a seat, watching both the party and the chaos of my lobby on the split screens. I had Sam make a note of all the tenants that were bothered by the crowd. I'd send them each a bottle of wine or something for their troubles tomorrow.

We sat and waited, and fifteen minutes later the cops came in. They were able to arrest most of them, but some fled. Either way, it got rid of all of them, which was what I wanted.

"Excellent. You guys are all doing a great job tonight, and I appreciate your hard work. Thank you."

They each gave me smiles, and Sam walked me back up to the roof.

. . . . . . . . . .

I stayed on the outskirts of the party for a little while, trying to figure out how any rumour could have gotten out. There were a few guests who had needed to leave early, but my guess was that one of the caterers had overheard a guest in the washroom and said something. Anyone at the actual party would have known Edward Cullen had in fact not gotten married.

I kept an eye on him too, more than tempted to go join him again. I really enjoyed talking to him, he kept me on my toes and as weird as it was to say, I think I liked how much he frustrated me sometimes. And how quickly he could turn that irritation into amusement.

But I knew what our next conversation would entail, and I was terrified. I didn't want to do this, and I hoped that my absence for the remainder of the party would make him change his mind, lose interest, get annoyed or give up or just something that would save me from that conversation.

He seemed completely at ease though, enjoying his drink, watching the party, chatting with guests and his family and brushing off Rose's model friends politely and just looking gorgeous.

Rose and Emmett were ready to go, and I didn't join the flock of unmarried women that swarmed to catch her bouquet. I was pretty amused when Alice caught it though, and Jasper beamed.

No surprise there, it had been obvious to me from the moment I introduced them. I met my brother and his new wife at the elevator, and rode down with them to the parking garage.

"Bells, I-"

"You're welcome," I said, cutting off whatever dramatic speech he was about to start. He laughed, and gave me a tight hug.

"I love you, and we'll call."

"I love you too. Both of you. And don't worry about me, just go have fun. You guys deserve it."

Rose gave me a teary hug too, and I had to assure her that everything she'd need was already packed in the trunk of the limo. I watched them get in and drive away, disappearing through the garage door. I stood there for a couple minutes before getting back to work.

I picked up Edward's phone on my way up, when some woman had told one of the guys that she'd pay him five thousand dollars for it. God, people can be fucking weird.

Guests started to trickle out afterwards, a few sticking around to take advantage of the free bars. One in the morning rolled around, and there were only nine guests left on the roof. A few drunken couples and Edward. Still, he made no sign to leave as he nursed a drink at the bar.

Might as well get this over with.

I walked over to him, and he gave me a relieved smile when he noticed me. He didn't look annoyed with me for disappearing for so long. Why couldn't he just have gotten bored and left?

"You're still here."

"Of course, you didn't think you could get rid of me that easily, did you?"

Apparently not.

"So, are you ready to get out of here?"

I looked around. Where could I do this? Not here, obviously. Not somewhere public. I definitely wasn't going over to his place.

We're already here, and Zeus is probably going crazy. It seems like I already threw my book of rules out the window. Why not? "Yeah, okay." I handed him his phone and he thanked me with a smile.

He jumped to his feet with enthusiasm, and I remembered that the DJ was still watching my violin. I went over and grabbed it, thanking the DJ again, and went over to take the stairs. I didn't want someone catching an elevator with us and seeing him walking out onto my floor with me. I remembered this one's name.

"It's still quiet out there, no more photographers came back," he informed me. Good.

"Thanks Jared. I'm calling it a night. Let everyone know to just go to Sam if anything comes up, he knows how to reach me."

"Of course." He gave Edward a calculating look, and I smiled. He was being thorough. "Is he bothering you?"

I laughed. Oh, he had no idea how much. "Yeah, but I can handle it." He returned my grin and stepped aside to let us through.

Edward was quiet yet attentive as he walked close beside me. I was kind of in shock about what I was doing. I was showing someone where I lived. Him. Jasper didn't even know where I lived, and I trust him. We've been friends for years now. My dress didn't leave any room to store the amount of keys it took to get into my apartment, and I'd had to make do with the shoes with the hollowed out heels that I had gotten from this specialty site I had found about a year ago.

"I've never seen shoes like that before," he stated. I grinned, no way was I telling him I found them looking for spy gear. He didn't need any more ammo on my work techniques.

"Then you haven't looked hard enough."

Zeus freaked out as soon as I opened the door. He was so excited, running around us in circles and jumping up and down. He didn't actually jump on me, the boy just liked to fucking hop, and looked hilarious doing it. "Calm down goofball, you saw me like two hours ago." Once I started petting him he slowed down a bit. "Now, go lie down somewhere and chew on something." He gave my new company a curious look before obeying. I kicked off my other shoe, glad to finally be rid of the damn things. They sounded weird when I walked.

"You live here?" He asked curiously, following me inside.

I decided to be honest with him. Because honestly, I was just tired of all the secrets and lies. And the guilt that came along with them. "Yeah, I own the building actually." I went over and checked my monitors to make sure I hadn't missed anything today. I had a few e-mails, but nothing that needed immediate attention.

Stop procrastinating.

I ignored myself and went over to the bar. "You want something to drink?"

"Uh, sure, whatever you're having."

You've got good taste then, I thought as I grabbed a bottle of my good scotch and some tumblers before taking a seat on my couch.

He came and sat right next to me. I was intensely aware of him there, I could practically feel his body heat, my head was clouded by the scent of his cologne. I hated that my hand was trembling as I poured us each a couple fingers. I knocked mine back quickly and topped it back up.

How the hell was I even supposed to do this? The only person I've actually just come out and told, about everything, was Rose. And that was so different. Jasper knew, but it had been Emmett that told him. And he didn't know many details. We didn't talk about it.

"You don't need to be nervous Bella, you're not going to scare me away."

Yeah, that's turning out to be quite difficult. I nodded. "I'm not sure where to start. I've never really just… done this before."

"Done what? Have a drink with someone in your apartment?"

I could tell he was trying to lighten the mood, but it was him having no idea how accurate he was that made me smile. "Yes actually, Emmett and Rose are the only people that have ever been to my house before." He seemed shocked. Yeah, so was I. I laughed. "I meant that I've never really..." I huffed, trying to find the words. I've never tried to tell my story like this? I haven't said the words aloud in years and it's hard? I've never had to tell someone that they already knew me? That I'd known them for years?

How was I supposed to do that? So, you know that first movie you did way back when? I actually wrote it.

Who would believe that?

Maybe it would be better to just show him? Give him the hard evidence. But that would mean having to watch it too…

It would still be easier than this. "Fuck it." I got up and turned on my TV and PS3. I'd get the new one when they actually started making some decent games for it, I didn't see the point right now. I picked up the red book safe that I so rarely touched, and took out the DVD and stuck it in. I carried the book containing his letter and some news articles back over to the couch with my remote and controller.

The movie started as I sat down, and still not ready to look at the screen I knocked back my drink and topped it off once again.

"Bella, why-"

"Please, just watch," I said. This was the best I could do right now. I was trying. He frowned, but didn't argue and just watched curiously.

The movie started, and I sat there on my couch, curling up in my blanket and holding onto my glass tightly as I danced the line of having a panic attack. I was watching two different things right now. The prettied, edited, altered version of my family's life that would sell, and my memories of reality.

Once the actor knocked the actress out, and started carrying her out the door I stopped the movie. I couldn't watch the rest. It was just a reminder of what didn't happen. It was a dream, what I wished had happened.

But it hadn't happened.

I had lied.

"This is where things are different," I told him. I took out his letter, and handed it to him. I watched the confusion in his face as he read. His eyes were wide with shock when he looked up at me.

"How did you get this?" He asked quietly.

I could do this. You're older now, stronger. You told Rose.

I knocked back my drink, and let the damning words tumble out.

"Emmett didn't find me. Victor had tried to knock me out first, that's where all the blood had been from, but I guess he just couldn't hit me hard enough. He was able to get me out to his van and tie me up though. Emmett called the police, my dad actually, he was the chief of police in our town, when he found the trail of blood and Victor's jacket. After he… After Victor finished with me in his van, he pushed me out of the car while he was driving along the highway and left me for dead. That's the last thing I remember of that night, my face hitting the gravel. I woke up in the hospital two months later. Victor disappeared, they never caught him. I was thirteen, so my identity was protected from the press at least.

"I thought I'd be doing the world a fucking favor if I shared the story. My ending wouldn't sell though, so I wrote a happier one. I thought maybe if I made him famous it would be easier to catch him, but they never did."

I looked over at him, and he was just watching me, frozen in shock. I'm not sure how much of it he was taking in, but I just needed to get it all out. "All I did was create a serial killer. He's still out there. He's found me a few times in the past… well, a lot of times actually. He must have some contacts in the government, because like I told you, no matter what they did with us he always found me. Until we got out on our own and moved here. The night of my birthday… They found another body. He did the same thing to her, but when he tossed her out of the car, she died. Just like all the others."

Then I waited, drinking in his face, the proximity to another person, probably for the last time. I wouldn't make this mistake again, it hurt too much. My life was easier before he came into it.

And even though I had warned him, seeing the pain and anger in his eyes made me feel horrible. I was always fucking hurting him, and that wouldn't change unless he left… because I didn't think I was able to walk away from him anymore.

The question he chose surprised me, as did the fact that he didn't shift away from me all throughout his long internal debate.

"You chose me to play Emmett," he said quietly, but it seemed like a question almost, so I nodded anyways. "Why?"

I was tempted to smile, but it didn't come. He was the only person that came close. It was an easy choice, really. "Because you had a little sister too. No one else would have been able to understand the role right."

He was quiet for a minute, then shook his head. "Nope."

"What?" I wasn't sure what he was saying no to, and got ready to start taking out the news articles, my screenplay, or whatever other evidence he needed while dreading having to stretch out this conversation. His response completely took me by surprise though.

"If I had met you, I'd remember you," he said in a confident voice, looking at me seriously.

"We never met, the auditions were sent to me by video," I replied, still shocked by his train of thought. He seemed comforted by my explanation though.

"Oh, okay." I was watching him carefully, not having a fucking clue what he was going to say next. He took a deep breath before he spoke again quickly, piercing me with a serious expression. "It's not your fault that she's dead. Any of them. This guy is a psychotic asshole, his fucked up actions aren't your fault."

Didn't he get it though? I was the one who put him into action, I'd pushed the proverbial snowball down the hill, it was my fault that it grew. "But if I'd never written the fucking screenplay-"

"No," He interrupted, "Not even then. Bella, this is not your fault. What happened to you is horrible, unimaginable, but it's not your fault for surviving."

I just didn't have the energy to fight about this subject anymore. No matter what anyone said, I put this all in motion. It was all a reminder that I lied, he was reminding me over and over again what had really happened.

And what was supposed to happen. I was supposed to die, I should have that night. I looked up at the frozen frame on the TV, the worst part of the movie; because it was the eeriest part in its familiarity. The sight of my own blood dripping onto the white carpet and staining it.

I turned the thing off, not being able to look for another second. I didn't want to be here, and my apartment was the only safe place I had left. It made it feel colder, and I tightened my grip on the blanket around me, pulling it tighter. Why hasn't he left yet? What more could he want to know?

He huffed dramatically, and slumped back against the couch in his spot next to me. I looked up at him, just waiting for him to get it over with, and he grinned.

Then started laughing.

"What?"

"You seriously thought this would scare me away from you?"

He had to know by now that I didn't answer obvious questions. He shook his head in exasperation.

"Wow, you have really underestimated my feelings for you."

I was in shock as he picked up my remote control, fiddling with it curiously. He looked up at me with a hopeful, shy smile. "You got any other movies?"

What the fuck was he doing? He never reacted to things the way he was supposed to, and I couldn't just push my disbelief aside. "Aren't you mad that I didn't tell you earlier?" Why couldn't he just fucking yell at me, get mad at me for once? His acceptance of me was the hardest fucking thing for me to accept.

He watched me for a moment and let out a soft sigh. "No. I get why it's something that would be hard to talk about. Besides, I find it incredibly difficult to make myself angry with you," he said with a teasing smirk.

"I've noticed that. You have the patience of a saint."

He laughed loudly. "Only with you. I didn't think I would ever hear someone speak those words about me in this lifetime."

I wasn't quite sure I heard him correctly at first, but he just sat there patiently, watching me like he always did. He'd never done it from quite so close before.

He really wasn't leaving.

That heavy weight on my chest started to lighten, making it easier to breathe, to think. I felt myself smile.

He knew, and he wasn't leaving.

He wanted to watch a movie, and I wanted to laugh. This sense of relief was intoxicating.

"So… movie?" I asked, just to make sure. He nodded with smile. I got up, a little unsteadily as those three scotches made their existence known to my head, and went over to eject the disk from my PlayStation. DVDs took up too much room, and I was a bit of a hoarder, so I had all of my disks in a giant CD book. I thumbed through them, trying to find something he might like. I had no idea what sort of movies he liked watching. I decided to steer clear off all of his movies, because even though I never watched them I owned them all, along with any romance ones.

I settled for the Hobbit, (I don't do movie theaters and had just picked it up last week, so I had been looking forward to watching it anyways.) I was freezing in this excuse for a dress, so I quickly ran over to my dresser, picked out something much less revealing and much more comfortable, and went back to the couch. I wrapped my blanket back around myself when I sat down, and topped off my drink, reminding myself that this would be my last one. I'd made a shit ton of progress today, I was just trying to calm my nerves.

I was very aware of him next to me while we watched in surprisingly comfortable silence. Though I wasn't sitting as close as I had been before I got changed, it was still really close. It made me nervous, even though I knew I wasn't actually afraid of him. It was confusing, and distracting as hell. But I held my ground and stayed still. He was no doubt still processing what I had told him, I saw him look at me a few times but he didn't say anything, and I was just kind of waiting to see what he was going to do. I was talked-out, mentally and emotionally exhausted, and probably came off as boring, but didn't really know what else to do.

So I just waited. I probably should have turned on the heat, the apartment was freezing, but I didn't want to move away from him.

I was in completely foreign territory. I was alone in my apartment with a guy, sitting next to him on my couch watching a movie.

And I really didn't want to move away from him.

Damn, how long are these credits? Is the movie still starting or did I miss it? Nope, still starting.

I put my drink down, cutting myself off.

He was once again very slow and deliberate with his movements, like he was trying not to scare me. (Which is probably exactly was he was doing.) He slid closer to me, closing that small distance, straightening up slightly as he draped his arm around my shoulders. I stopped breathing for a moment, my body freezing in shock, but not pulling away. It took me a minute to process. He was touching me, holding me almost, but it wasn't aggressive in the slightest. The weight of his arm felt almost comforting… protective. And he was so warm.

And he didn't do anything else. He stayed just like that, seeming completely at ease, and not put off by my tenseness. I felt myself start to relax. Despite everything I told him, here he was, showing me that nothing's changed. Showing me that he cares… but wasn't going to push me.

For some reason, this compassionate, gentle, sweet… yet sometimes annoying man thinks that he loves me. It was kind of hard to wrap my mind around.

What I did know, was that right now, I was happy. I liked the proximity, the closeness. I felt safe.

And I cautiously let myself lean into his side.

I watched for some sort of disapproval, but a small smile tugged at the corner of his mouth, and he didn't move.

It was hard trying to concentrate on the movie afterwards, but it was a long one. I liked that he wasn't one of those people that talked during movies. I was exhausted, and now, wrapped in his warmth, I was extremely comfortable, but I knew there was zero chance of me falling asleep while he was here. Still, I rested my head against his shoulder, and let my mind drift while we watched the movie.

. . . . . . . . . .

She finally told him! Any questions or comments? Please leave me a review!

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