Protector

by Kittanja

After a vicious attack when she was thirteen, Bella Swan writes a story about what happened to her to try to find and bring her attacker to justice. She had no idea what the ramifications of signing over the rights to have it made into a film, or what choosing Edward Cullen to play her brother Emmett would be. BPOV A/H A/U Canon pairings. Rated M for mature themes and later lemons!

11. Chapter 11

SM owns everything Twilight. This plot is mine though.

. . . . . . . . . .

It was after three in the morning when the movie finished, and I was still reluctant to move. Edward's weight was a little heavier now; he had actually fallen asleep about an hour ago and was heavily leaning on me.

I couldn't just sit there all night though; I knew I had things that needed to be attended to even though my phone hadn't rang. I decided I'd just let him sleep though, if he was comfortable enough to actually fall asleep here then I didn't think he would mind, and I just couldn't really bring myself to wake him up an kick him out of my apartment at three in the morning.

It didn't bother me at all, I knew after a conversation like today's I wouldn't have slept anyways, no matter how much I drank.

Very carefully, I slid out from under his arm and tried not to let him drop too hard. I was able to slide one of my purple pillows under him before his head hit the cushion, and even though he felt like a human space heater I draped my blanket over him before turning off the TV and hitting the lights.

My apartment was never completely dark, thanks to my floor-to-ceiling windows and the city lights. I checked my phones and had no messages from Sam, but did have one from Emmett and Rose gushing about the private plane. That put a smile on my face, and I silently made my way over to my washroom. I decided I wanted a shower before I tried to accomplish anything else, and tried to just wash some of the stress off of me along with all the crap that was on my face and in my hair. I had to wash it about five times to get all of the temporary hair dye out. I got dressed in some jeans and a dark violet blouse, and braided my hair so I wouldn't wake him up with my blow dryer. I pulled on a coat, loading my phones and keys in my pockets before writing him a note in case he woke up.

I'm sorry for leaving, but I'm just upstairs taking care of a few things. Call if you wake up.

I left my number and Zeus jumped to join me when I slid on some boots, unlocking, and then locking my door behind me before we went next door. Everything was shut off, and I picked up Sam's report from the desk by the monitors.

All guests were cleared out before two. Things stayed quiet after you left, just a few people taking advantage of the booze and snacks. The DJ and caterers were escorted out as were all my guys and I double checked to make sure all doors were locked after everyone was gone.
Thank you once again for yet another great opportunity. I really appreciate it. If there's ever anything I can do for you, please let me know. Don't hesitate to call if you need anything.
-Sam

All of my keys were left there also, along with the list of names of tenants who had had to deal with the commotion in the lobby last night. There were only three couples, which wasn't too bad. I wrote them each an identical note, apologizing for their inconveniences last night, which I attached to three different bottles of leftover champagne from the fridge in the apartment, before going down to the main floor and sticking one in each of their mailboxes. They were eighty-dollar bottles of champagne, they should have nothing to complain about.

There were some privileges to working at the club. Awesome deals on good liquor was one of them.

Then I made my way up to the roof. The caterers had done an excellent job; all of the tables, chairs, runners and temporary bars had been packed away, as had the DJ's set up that he'd brought. They'd swept and picked up any garbage. All my furniture was still packed away, but with winter not far off I wouldn't be taking much back out. I walked over to my storage shed, and took out my small wicker loveseat, dragging it over to leave under the awning by the door before locking the shed back up.

The only sign left of the wedding were the lights, and I decided I was going to leave them up. It would be beautiful for Christmas. I sat and watched them for a bit while Zeus ran around and inspected the newly cleared roof.

Once he got bored we went back downstairs, but on the west side of the building. The caterers had cleaned up here as well, all dishes were cleaned and put away, all the tables and chairs were stacked in storage, and the floors, counters and stoves had all been cleaned. I went through the fridges, and Zeus and I stopped to snack on some of the leftover chicken and roasted potatoes. And some cake. And just a few of those stuffed mushroom caps. Okay, I was starving, but I'd had trouble eating with an impossibly good looking Edward staring at me throughout dinner.

The top of the cake, a tiny cake with the little bride and groom, covered in eerily life-like buttercream roses, was completely untouched, and I removed it carefully and went through the different types of take-out containers in the cupboards, finding the perfect sized white box to put it in, before loading up some more of the food and bringing it back over to my place. I had to go up to the roof, walk across to the other door and go back down to get to my apartment, and felt a bit of relief that he was still there, sound asleep on my couch, when I walked back in. I put the boxed cake into my freezer, then the other food in my fridge. I had enough room left, so I went back and loaded up the rest of the food in containers, dropped off my trash, and fit the rest of the leftovers, barely, into my fridge.

Jasper and I were going to be eating a lot of leftovers this week.

It was only five, and with nothing else to do I grabbed my tablet, logged into my Netflix, and watched some more Walking Dead with one ear bud in while lying in my bed.

. . . . . . . . . .

By the time nine rolled around, I couldn't wait any longer to eat. I was starving, my stomach growling loudly. I was surprised, and a little envious, that he was able to sleep so peacefully, so long in a foreign place, even with the sun beating down on him.

And I couldn't very well just let him sleep on my couch all day. As nice as it turned out having him here, I had shit to do. So I got up and started making some breakfast, trying to be reasonably quiet. I started washing and cutting up some fruit, and dumping my strawberries and bananas in with some yogurt and ice into my blender. Zeus was shadowing me excitedly, waiting for me to drop something, though we both knew very well he did not like fruit. At all. It was right on par with the word "cat" for him. I went and poured him some food, though he didn't pay any attention to it, and I heard an uncomfortable moan come from my couch as I walked back to my counter. I looked over at the noise, and a second later Edward sat upright quickly, looking around. His eyes found me pretty quickly in my kitchen.

Even hung over, sleeping in his clothes on a couch all night and just waking up, he was still unbelievably gorgeous. I hope he wasn't pissed that I let him sleep there, but I'd honestly thought it would be the nicer thing to do.

Once again, completely foreign territory. I tried to give him a polite smile, but it felt awkward on my face. "Um, hey. I didn't mean to wake you."

"You didn't, the construction site in my brain did," he groaned, but still managed to give me a genuine smile. I felt myself laugh quietly in relief. He'd feel better after he drank something, I'd had a long time and many bottles of water to sober up.

"Cover your ears then, because this is going to make it worse," I warned him before turning on my blender. Ugh, this one was starting to leak a bit. I'd have to get a new one again. When I stopped he asked where my washroom was, and after pointing him in the right direction I tried to conquer the difficult task of scrubbing strawberry juice off of my hands. Why don't I ever use gloves? Same thing almost every day. I was addicted to my morning smoothies.

When he came back, sitting close by on one of the stools at my island, he looked half asleep again. I grinned. What a baby.

"You look like shit today, Hollywood," I lied teasingly.

"I know. Sorry for passing out on your couch." Yeah, he was nursing a serious hangover. I felt kind of bad for him, I'd always been able to handle my liquor pretty well. Great fucking metabolism ran in my family.

"Don't worry about it," I said, pouring two glasses, dropping in some straws and setting one in front of him along with some aspirin. "Drink, you'll feel better."

He knows I've done a background check on him; he isn't allergic to any medications. No watermelon has ever been permitted in my kitchen.

He'd liked it last time, so I didn't really worry about him not liking it. Sure enough, he sat there and drank, that small smile playing on one corner of his mouth while he watched me quietly.

He was much easier company than Zeus was being right now. Now that I had taken out the real food he was close to tripping me every time I turned around. I kept kicking him out, and he just kept coming back.

And I could only say no to that face so many times.

"What?" I said, finally stopping and staring at him. He didn't even blink, staring me straight back in the eyes. "Do you want some cheese?"

He barked, and started shifting in excitement. God, I loved him so much. He was like my very own direwolf. I knew I spoiled him, but who wouldn't?

"You know, I really shouldn't give you any. You're going to get fat. Maybe I should get a cat to keep you busy."

I really don't know how this happened, as far as I knew he'd never seen a cat, maybe at the shelter when he was a puppy. But he let out a predicable growl when I said the word. "Calm down, you know I'd never do that to you." He was enough trouble on his own. Though I had thought about getting a second dog, a playmate for him, I wouldn't get a cat. It wasn't that I didn't like them, I loved animals, but I just didn't think having a cat would work with my lifestyle. Zeus could go out on trips with me or Emmett; you couldn't take a cat camping for a week, and they weren't good at being moved. I cut another piece of cheese, Zeus' tail thumping loudly on the floor as he watched with rapt attention, and when I smiled at him he whined and started spinning in circles. Patience wasn't one of his virtues when it came to food.

"If you want some cheddar, give me a hug," I told him, setting the slice of cheese on top of my head and holding open my arms, knowing he'd have no difficulty reaching it. He was quick to jump up, and covered my face in kisses after inhaling the cheese, making me laugh.

I pushed him away, needing to get back to my food, but quickly washed my hands and wiped off my face before pouring my eggs. I started putting stuff on plates while they cooked, and sat down with him once I was done.

I sat in the seat next to him. I could have left one empty in between us, but I didn't, still pushing myself.

"Thanks, you didn't need to cook me breakfast."

Shit. What was with you and your need to cook for people? Does he think it's weird? Fuck, just say something neutral before you say something embarrassing. "The salt and protein is good for the hang over."

"You don't look hung over at all."

I wasn't, and just shrugged. I didn't want to brag.

There's nothing to brag about. You're an insomniac, that's just another fucked up thing he doesn't need to know.

"When did you get up?"

Well, I'd finished my shower and gotten dressed around four, which was my definition of getting up. That was… five hours ago. "A few hours ago." Not technically a lie.

"Seriously? Do you even fucking sleep?"

Once again, he was dead on. I didn't want to lie, so I just shrugged. He seemed pretty awake now though, and was keeping the conversation rolling easily. "So, what are your plans for the day?"

I thought about the long list of responsibilities I had right now. Even taking time off from the Library, they pretty much let me do whatever I wanted, I was good at getting good replacements for myself when I wasn't in and worked a lot from home, I still have my personal life, and the gym and club to look over. I had work at the club tonight too.

Another long day with no sleep. Woohoo.

It'll be lonely with them gone, but at least I'll be busy. "I gotta stop by the gym and check in on things in a bit, then head into work around eight. What about you?"

"No plans. Would you like some company?"

He still wanted to hang out? I didn't feel like I'd been very fun company.

He probably feels guilty, after everything you told him last night. He knows you're completely alone in the city, and the only person who knows where you live. He probably feels bad leaving you alone.

I sighed. "You don't need to feel obligated to hang out with me Hollywood."

"I don't feel obligated, I'm asking because I enjoy my time more when it's spent around you compared to anyone else."

Fuck. If I didn't already know he couldn't lie for shit, I would have said bravo for the good performance. But he was just looking at me like he'd said "Pass the salt." I didn't know what to do with him when he said shit like that, and it was frustrating as hell. I sighed in irritation.

"What?" He asked innocently.

"Do you have some sort of secret cache of pick-up lines in your pocket that you're constantly tapping into? Where do you come up with this stuff?"

He looked surprised, then laughed. I really liked that laugh. "No, it's just the influence you have on me, my brain and mouth have difficulty communicating in your presence."

And there he goes again. I laughed at the impossibility that was everything that was happening right now. I got up and brought my plate over to the sink, needing to regroup.

"So is that a yes?"

Like I'd really be able to send him away after he kept saying stuff like that? He over-estimated my self-control. "Sure." I looked back over to him, and had to address the biggest problem with this. I couldn't walk around unnoticed, with an adorably rumpled, yet impeccably well-dressed Edward Cullen. "I'll bring you by your place so you can get changed first." His plate was cleared, so I plucked it away quickly before rinsing it off.

"You're a really good cook." Wow, he just kept it coming.

"Thanks. It was either learn, or live off of pizza with Emmett and Charlie. They can't boil water without burning it."

"Charlie?"

It was still hard to remind myself to talk about him in the past tense. "Oh, uh… that was my dad."

"Oh… would it be okay if I asked what happened to him? You said you were seventeen when he passed?"

"Yeah, he was shot." It actually wasn't as difficult to talk to him about Charlie as I thought it would be. It still hurt, but I knew it always would. Losing someone you love isn't something you just get over, it's something you just learn to live with as time passes. Especially when it was your fault that said person died.

"What happened to you after? You would have still been in high school still, right?"

I smiled, remembering the bet I'd won against Charlie. He didn't want me to stop going to the public school, so I'd made a deal with him. I told him if I wasn't able to get my GED before I turned fifteen, I'd go back.

I got my diploma one month before my birthday, and was pretty damn proud about it.

"No, after the accident I didn't go back to school. We lived in a really small town, you know, one of those places where everyone knows everyone else's business? I couldn't deal with all the gossip, so I dropped out. I did correspondence instead, got my diploma when I was fifteen. Emmett was older, I stayed with him after Charlie passed." I finished drying the plates as I was talking, and turned back to him. I was so relieved not to see one of those pitying looks I was so used to. "You good to go?"

"Sure."

He followed me over to my door, and Zeus came running when I whistled for him. I held up my hand in our visual command to sit, and he waited patiently while I clipped on his leash, slid on my coat, boots and sunglasses, and undid the locks on my door. After they were both out, I did the locks back up, and we took the elevator down to the garage.

I opened up the passenger door for Zeus to get in, there wasn't enough space on my side for him to jump, and then walked over to my door when Edward climbed in after him. As soon as I had my seatbelt on, I smiled when I saw Zeus was already pretty much sitting in Edward's lap, his face pressed impatiently against the window, licking it in anticipation and scratching. Edward was staring at him, not knowing what to do. I laughed.

"Sorry, you're kind of in his spot," I explained. He cautiously scratched his ear, and got a kiss before Zeus went back to waiting for the window to open. I pulled out of my spot, and drove out of the garage onto the busy street.

"I don't mind at all. What's he doing?"

"He wants you to open the window."

He smiled, and opened it up for him, becoming Zeus' new best friend.

It was all just so… I didn't know the right word. It felt right, normal, the three of us sitting together in my truck. The upbeat, happy tune of the CD playing reflected my mood well.

I made the drive over to his building easily, frowning when I saw the photographers standing outside. It can't be easy, having the world constantly watching you and wanting a piece of you. I thought one stalker was bad, he dealt with thousands. And a lot of them would know he was dropped off in a wrinkled suit, and probably have a million horrible theories as to why.

"Just a heads up, there are two photographers outside of your building."

"Oh… what should I do?"

"Whatever you usually do?" Why was he asking me? Surely he was used to it. "Unless you want me to come in and hold your hand?"

I enjoyed teasing him way too much, though the look he gave me made me think he wouldn't have minded if I did accompany him.

Giving him a lift was one thing, to the press that is. Going into his apartment, dressed casually like this, was something completely different.

"I mean, what if they get a picture of your truck?"

Ah, he was thinking. There was a reason I only used my truck to drive to his apartment though. I adjusted my sunglasses confidently. "My license plate isn't traceable. Otherwise I never would have gone with you to LA in it. I'm fine, I just feel kind of guilty dropping you off in a winkled suit so early in the day. You know what they'll think."

He shrugged easily. "I don't care about that."

"Okay, hurry up then. We don't want to sit in here all day." He smiled, and paused, watching me oddly for a moment before hopping out of my truck. He walked past the two reporters like they didn't even exist, walking into the building. When he disappeared they looked at my truck, and started walking towards it. When they were about fifteen feet away, I looked over at my boy.

"Zeus, protect."

He started barking, loudly, and the two men froze, looking uncertainly at each other for a moment, before turning away.

"Shh, good boy Zeus," I said happily, and he quieted instantly, smiling and licking my face. He didn't keep us waiting very long, coming back down about ten minutes later in a pair of dark jeans, and a khaki sweater that fit him too well over a white t-shirt. He ignored the guys once again, and they didn't follow him over to the truck. "That didn't take long," I noted, after he had his seat belt back on and pulled back onto the road.

"Didn't want you to sit here all day," he teased back, still grinning at me. I rolled my eyes, but I was loving how easy it was to hang out with him like this. Zeus crawled back onto his lap, biting at the air while hanging his head out the window.

I knew how heavy Zeus was, and I laughed when eventually Edward tapped out, undoing his seat belt and moving closer to me on the bench when he gave up the spot.

I kind of liked this seating arrangement more. The drive to the gym was quiet, but it was comfortable. I parked in Emmett's spot, because it wasn't like he'd be using it, and the three of us made our way into the gym. The receptionist, like most people, didn't recognize me. She only noticed Zeus next to me.

"Ma'am, you can't bring-" she stopped when I took off my sunglasses and leveled her with a look.

I, or Samantha anyways, might have had a bit of a reputation here, but it was all part of a bigger picture that I had to maintain. It was an easy thing for me now though. "Excuse me?" I said in a stern, disapproving tone.

"Sorry Ma'am, I didn't recognize you. Good morning. Would you like some coffee?"

I put my glasses back on. Edward drank coffee, I hadn't offered him any this morning. I had one of those Tassimo things at home for Rose and Emmett. Just like the ones we got for this building. "No thanks. You?"

He seemed slightly restless, and wondered if he didn't really care for this side of me. He politely declined, and followed me up the stairs to the top floor. The woman working at reception upstairs recognized Zeus, and gave me a polite smile which I returned with a nod when I passed. I led the way into Emmett's office, and turned on his computer before starting up the treadmill for an impatient Zeus. Edward took a seat on one of the adjacent chairs while I sat down behind Emmett's desk. He was going to be so bored, I wonder if he knew what he was asking for when he offered to come along. The computer started up, and I immediately opened Emmett's mail. I had to fight back a groan when I saw the little numbers in brackets beside his inbox. I knew he didn't do this to me personally, I had kind of surprised them with that trip, but it was hard not to be annoyed. I made a new folder for him, and started clicking through and selecting all the personal e-mails he had from friends, he had a lot of forwards from Jasper and Garrett, to move them out of the way. I set up his out of office reply, then started going through the more official looking things.

I wondered how long he would sit quietly like that for, why had he wanted to do this?

Whatever the reason, the company was pretty nice.

"So, what are you doing?"

I fought the urge to smile, that didn't take long.

"Just making sure there aren't any important e-mails, checking some invoices, confirming delivery dates… It's all pretty boring."

"You know how to do all that stuff?"

I did laugh then, Emmett may have taught me all I know about martial arts, but I taught him everything he needed to know about running a business. "Yeah."

"How?"

"I built this company, I can do anything that Emmett can here except bench three hundred pounds."

"I thought it was Emmett's company?"

"It is."

"I don't think I follow." His voice was genuinely curious, and I let out a small sigh before explaining.

"Emmett, he's had to give up a lot because of me, his football career being one of those things. I wanted him to do something he loved, and when we came here… I bought him this gym, and helped him get things started. It's his company, I don't own more than some shares, I just know it really well."

I was waiting for him to see the warning in my explanation, that with all the resources I might have, my freedom was greatly limited by my own rules and safety precautions, but his mind caught onto something else.

"How do you afford all this shit?" He said suddenly, looking immediately chagrined. "Sorry, I guess that's kind of rude. It's just… with your jobs…"

It was a reasonable question, and I realized that as much as I've told him, he really didn't know a whole lot about the types of things I did in my spare time, or used to do. I had a bit of an obsession, learning anything I could that may help me to take down Victor in some way, that has had many years in isolation to fester and grow. "I have a lot of hobbies that take in some extra cash," I said, giving him the short version. Otherwise we'd be here all day.

He grinned at me. "Anything illegal?"

Why do people always jump to that conclusion? Well, some things I do might be considered 'illegal,' but I was smart about what I did and only used it for good reasons. "I have a different definition of the term 'illegal' than most people." Zeus was starting to get tired, or maybe just bored, but I went and slowed down the machine for him anyways. After coming clean about my knowledge about him, and letting him ask so many questions, I didn't feel guilty trying to point the interrogation back at him. "I feel like I've told you two million things about me in the last day. Let's talk about you."

That made him look uneasy. "What about me?"

"Well, what do you do all day?" He shifted on the couch, and I couldn't stop my smile. Revenge is sweet, now he knows how I've felt most of the past couple months with all his prying questions. He wasn't very comfortable on the receiving end. "Oh, shy now are you?"

"It's just… my life is really boring compared to yours."

Hah, yeah, right. "Edward Cullen, big screen movie star, I doubt your life is fucking boring. Come on, tell me." I leaned back in my chair, propping up my feet and showing him that I planned on waiting him out. It was something I wasn't very good with, being patient, but I was making an effort for him.

"Okay, well… I usually have dinner at my parent's place twice a week. I hang out with Alice about every other day. She's like my best friend, as sad as that is."

"I don't think that's sad."

"Seriously?"

"Yeah. Emmett's my best friend, and I wouldn't trade that for anything." And if he thought that was sad, well, that was his own fucking problem. My brother's one of the coolest people out there, and Alice was pretty awesome in her own way.

"We'll, I've only been back two months. When I was in LA my life was completely different, but when I came back here… I kind of just let all of my old friends go. I hang out at home a lot, reading manuscripts, playing my piano, watching TV, going to the gym. Keeping to myself a lot I guess, but it's kind of a nice change. I don't miss my old life."

I was hit with a wave of guilt that I quickly tried to hide. From what I could tell, it seemed like he had been isolating himself since he came here, and just reconnecting with his family like he'd told me before. It couldn't have been an easy change, going from the party life to solitude, even if it was what he wanted.

But there were still two things he was doing, keeping himself somewhere outside, in the world around people.

The gym, and his weekend trips to the club.

And I'd banned him from both. Well, Emmett did, but it was my fault. And sure, the ban was lifted and had only been in effect a couple weeks, but I felt so much worse about it now.

"Why did you let your old friends go?"

"Well… I tried to reconnect with them when I moved back, but it always felt more like a press interview than hanging out with friends. It's like they don't see me as a person anymore, they just want to hear gossip about celebrities."

It was a long time ago, and completely different circumstances, but I kind of knew how he felt. Having people change around you. I'd been a pretty social person before Victor, and after that… the only people I would talk to were my dad, Emmett, and Angela.

"Well, that blows." I knew apologies for those sorts of things were useless, and was stuck with overstating the obvious.

"Yeah."

I tried to shift the subject quickly, to something hopefully more positive. "Are you looking forward to starting your next movie?" Despite how well known of an actor he was, it was very rare that he ever spoke of it. Actually, that time I had accompanied him to sign his contract for his next film had been the only time, and he hadn't really spoken to me about it. I was just there. It was kind of odd.

"I'm not sure to be honest, everything feels different now. It's an awesome script though."

"Do you like being an actor?"

When he opened his mouth to respond, no words came out, and he closed his lips again while he paused. He looked over at me, like he was looking for some sort of help to respond. I didn't need him to explain then, I saw it all in his eyes. This wasn't a passion, it was just a job. That spark, the excitement I had seen so many years ago, wasn't there anymore.

He looked lost, and it was a feeling I knew all too well. I waited though, patiently, because it was a conclusion that he definitely needed to come to himself.

"I did, it was my dream for so long, hell I've been doing it for almost a decade now, but… everything is just so fake. It's fun sometimes, but I feel like most of the time, it just makes me feel empty almost. Does that make sense?"

"Yeah, it does." I sat up then, and hoped I wasn't overstepping any bounds as I tried to give him some advice. "I know it's none of my business, but if you don't enjoy it, you shouldn't waste your time with it. You can do anything in the world you want to. You only have one life, don't waste it on forcing yourself to do something you don't enjoy."

"I don't know what else I'd do. This had always been it." I was a little taken aback by the depth of his honesty, and vulnerability when he said that.

"There's never been another profession you were interested in?"

"Apparently when I was four, I wanted to be a fire truck."

He surprised me with that, making me laugh, and Zeus chose that moment to tackle me with kisses, making me laugh ever harder as I tried to fight him off. When he did finally back down, I brushed myself off and looked back at Edward, who was watching me with a curious smile.

I hadn't forgotten about our conversation, and wondered if he'd think I was being pushy. I wasn't good at the whole 'words of wisdom' thing, but I did have a lot of tools at my disposal, one that could very well give me the knowledge I needed to be able to help him. A lot of guys think it's all fun and games working security, but it's not a walk in the park working for me. I'd helped a few find their paths, or at least a path, with the career ability placement survey before. I took my laptop out of my backpack, got up, and took a seat on the small couch that was against the wall.

"Come sit with me, I want to show you something," I said, immensely relieved by how casual my voice came out. He didn't hesitate, but Zeus was faster, beating him to the couch and wedging himself in between us. Always the center of attention, Emmett must have been letting him on this couch, because he knew very well he wasn't supposed to be on the furniture. It had been a strict rule of mine while I'd been raising him, because if he jumped on my bed in the middle of the night and started licking my face or bumped into me while I was sleeping, I usually woke up screaming. I'd never actually let someone else touch my laptop before, it was strictly off limits to anyone because of everything that was on it, but I knew Edward hadn't taking any computer science programs, especially none that would leave him capable of getting through any of my encryptions, so I wasn't really worried about him seeing anything he shouldn't when I pulled up the website and handed it over to him.

"What's this?"

"It's a tool I use a lot when I have employees looking for another line of work. It's completely anonymous, but you click through and answer a bunch of random questions, and it gives you ideas of careers that might suit you, but more importantly, why they would suit you. You don't have to do it of course, but it might give you some insight as to what else is out there." I nudged him in the arm with my elbow jokingly, surprising myself once again how much easier it was for me to touch him, compared to everyone else in the world. It still felt foreign though, but not panic or anger inducing. "Or you know, you could just retire early and buy a boat. Travel the world. Isn't that what normal celebrities do?"

I was rewarded by his deep, warming laugh as he looked back down at the screen, and felt a wash of relief when he started clicking at the questions.

I paused for a brief moment. I really hadn't wanted to move, but I couldn't very well just sit here and stare at him. So, I got up, leaving Edward Cullen with my laptop on the couch of my brother's office while I sorted through invoices and organized my brother's calendar for him, slowly making my way through his inbox.

Well, not slowly actually. I got on a roll and zoomed right through. I finished with a proud smile, looking up to find Edward completely absorbed in his survey, with Zeus leaning up against him and watching his screen.

I pulled out my phone, and took a photo, completely unnoticed by either of them. I closed up things on my brother's computer, then leaned back in my chair, going through e-mails on various phones while watching Edward from the corner of my eye. I noticed immediately when he frowned about ten minutes later.

"What's wrong?"

"These results… they're really weird," he said hesitantly.

"How so?"

"Come look."

I took my time walking over, forcing myself not to rush, and since Zeus was taking up most of the space on his left, I sat down in the smaller space on his right. As always, in unusual proximity to someone knew, I felt almost hyper aware of him as I leaned in slightly to read the screen. He made no move to touch me though, which was comforting. I found myself relaxing around him oddly quickly, once again finding his proximity more thrilling than worrying.

His results were pretty odd. Honestly… his seemingly random results reminded me exactly of mine. "EMT, Doctor, musician, actor, mechanic, police officer… What did you do? These all seem pretty fucking disjoined. Though I bet your father would enjoy seeing those first two." He grinned, and I took that as a confirmation, but he didn't say anything. I couldn't get a read on if any of them appealed to him specifically. Further research was needed, and a small shiver of excitement shot through me before I spoke. "Mind if I check something?"

"Sure," he said easily, and I reached over to scroll down the page, clicking on the more detailed report with statistics. My elbow brushed against the firm ripple of muscle on his stomach, but he didn't flinch or pull away from me in the slightest. He seemed to lean in slightly, if anything.

And I didn't move away.

I went on to read out some of the bigger points, but he still didn't speak or hint about any preferences. I had to wonder if he was doing this purposefully or if none of them really appealed to him at all. It was a little hard to concentrate, I kept getting distracted by how warm he was. He really was like a human space heater.

His only verbal response was a; "Oh, hmm," causing me to sigh.

"But none of that matters," I admitted, giving up trying to read his mind.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, when I get people to do this, it's usually because I think they already know they want to do something, they just don't know that that know. But when they hear it from someone unbiased, like a computer, the answer is a little easier to see. Did any of these things jump out at you like that?"

"Well... they all do, kind of. There's stuff I like about each of them."

Well then, why didn't he just say so? Was it really that hard? "Than do all of them."

He raised an eyebrow at me, then started laughing. "Yeah, right."

"What's so funny about that?" I did not appreciate being laughed at.

"No one can do all that."

Says who? "You're underestimating the power of human ambition Edward. You can do anything and everything that you want to; you just have to want it enough."

His expression changed after that, and it seemed like he was contemplating my words. That look… his eyes had darkened, piercing me, holding me in place, and after as his eyes flickered briefly to my mouth it looked like he was going to eat me alive.

My pulse was thudding loudly in my ears, and I blurted out the first words my mushy, flustered brain could find. "You hungry? I could really go for a burger right now." I stood up quickly, putting space in between us before I could be further tempted to close that short distance, and tried to stretch out the slight tremble in my hands.

His voice sounded slightly strained. "Yeah sure, do you mind if I check something here first?"

I didn't care what he did to my laptop, I needed to breathe and suddenly there was no air left in the room. "Sure, I'll be right back." I quickly ducked into Emmett's private bathroom, closing the door behind me and leaning back against it.

What the hell was that?

Not the look. I knew what that look on his face had been, he'd actually given me that look before. Instead of being angered, bothered, or uncomfortable though, I had liked it.

I had really, really liked it. And I wasn't even drunk, not in the slightest. Tired? Yes, but there was a difference.

Had I wanted him to kiss me? I thought about it, but the idea of it still terrified me. No, that wasn't it, but… I had wanted to be closer. I'd wanted to be touching him. I'd wanted him to keep looking at me like that.

Did the ventilation system break down or something? Why was there no more oxygen left in this building? I closed my eyes, and forced myself to take slow, deep breaths.

Twenty-seven deep breaths later, I felt a little closer to normal, and walked back into the office. He was closing my laptop as I opened the door.

"All good?" I asked, proud of how steady my voice came out.

"Yup. Let's go."

He handed me back my laptop, and after packing up my backpack he followed me back out to my truck.

We went out and got some lunch, Rose would have had a stroke seeing me let him pay for me, but it looked like his ego needed it after passing out on my couch last night so I let it slide. He was polite and attentive, and it never really got awkward, but I could tell he was mostly somewhere else in his head. He seemed deep in thought.

I didn't mind, because I was too. Today had been… fun.

Shit. There it was. I thought about the few times I'd been alone with Edward. First when we went to LA; that had been surprisingly easy. Sure, I'd been extremely uncomfortable for a lot of it, but that had been normal. What hadn't been normal was how comfortable I had been with him sitting there. Or how much joy I'd taken in making him laugh when I'd egged his ex's house.

Then there was the night he'd saved me in the alley. He'd been able to pull me out of the haze, and before I'd passed out, I'd felt almost… safer, having him there next to me.

Then my Birthday, that beautiful morning at the park we'd had together. I hadn't been able to stop smiling the entire time, and it had been so easy to talk to him. And then again that night… before I got the call. I'd probably only been two glasses of wine from crawling into his lap.

And then, lastly, last night. I'd actually gotten through telling him my story. Fairly calmly, if I do say so myself.

He was easy to be around, and I liked being around him.

… When would I get to see him again? Did he want to see me again? He'd said before that he wanted to be 'friends.' I'd told him I'd think about it, and I guess now I had.

I wanted to be Edward's friend.

How can I say that without sounding lame? How would this even work?

Was he thinking about this too, or was he thinking of ways to get out of this now?

Whatever he was thinking, it was now causing him to frown. I'd never been a patient person. "What's on your mind? You look like you're having a pretty heated discussion with yourself."

He gave me a sweet smile as I shoveled a handful of fries into my mouth.

"I have to go to LA again in a couple weeks. I was wondering if it would be weird to ask you again, since we're… Like, friends now?" His voice was uncertain, yet hopeful, and I think my heart may have skipped a beat.

Okay, be cool. Don't start screaming like a teenager now. I gave a nonchalant shrug. "If it doesn't overlap with any of my other obligations, I don't mind. Someone needs to protect you from the masses. Just because you know my name doesn't mean you're getting a discount though." I kept my voice teasing, even shooting him a wink at the end. His whole body seemed to relax as he let out a deep breath, and smiled happily.

I'd already done it once, I didn't see the harm in doing it again.

"Rose said you had done this sort of thing before right? With who?"

"Mostly just Rose herself, although I've helped out a few of her friends who were in a jam."

He nodded. "Yeah, I've seen how protective you are with her. Is she in trouble or something?"

As much as I didn't want to lie to him, her secret wasn't mine to tell, and I'd take it with me to the grave before betraying her trust. "She's just important to me."

"Okay," he said easily. "So, I can bring you the information for the trip next time I see you?"

I nodded, and bit back a grin when he did that nervous messing-up-his-messy-hair thing he always did.

And somehow, it always made his hair look even better. It defied the laws of rationality.

"When will that be?"

My stomach fluttered excitedly, loving that he seemed just as eager as I did. "When would you like it to be?" I asked playfully.

He wasn't playing around, his answer was quick and serious. "Tomorrow."

The deep, serious tone of his voice made a shiver pass through me, and I tried to rub the excited, almost nervous sensation from the back of my neck. "Sure, okay. I can come over before I head to the club if you want, say around five?"

"Sounds good," he said with his warm smile. I went to town on my milkshake to hide my own smile. He was just so… open. He didn't try to hide his smiles from me, he was constantly smiling at me, and the way he looked at me with those deep green eyes…

Ah, brain freeze. I scrunched up my face against the unpleasant sensation, pressing against my forehead with the palm of my hand automatically. He chuckled quietly, then gathered up our garbage and brought it over to the garbage can. Zeus watched him excitedly, I could tell when his tail started thumping around, and I put a calming hand on him until Edward got back. We loaded back into my truck, and after seeing the time, I told him I'd have to drop him off before I headed to work.

We were both quiet on the short drive, and as I pulled up in front of his building, I started to get nervous again. This was always the dramatic moment, the goodbye, in any sort of drama. I could safely say that Edward and I were friends now, but there was obviously something… more. It was different with Edward.

I got out of my truck so he wouldn't have to go around Zeus, and when he slid out after me, his hand on the top of the door, I got sort of awkwardly cornered by him, backed up against the inside of my opened door, his arm hovering over me.

He was so tall.

He smiled brightly down at me, and that handsome face did crazy things to my mind.

"I'll see you tomorrow," he said, almost quietly but not quite in that deep voice, with that crooked smile. I, the eloquent person that I am, just kind of hummed while I nodded. I wasn't really breathing.

And then he just pushed off the door, and walked away. I turned and jumped back into my truck before he could catch me watching him. I looking at Zeus, and I swear to god it looked like he raised an eyebrow at me.

"Thank god you can't talk. I love you so much," I said with a smile, and then pulled out to drop him off at home.

. . . . . . . . . .

It had been a busy night at work, the club had been packed, but actually cleared out pretty quickly after two. Without Rose there, I had Jacob collect the guy's gear and clear everyone out while I supervised the bartenders count their tills, split their tips and leave.

"Hey Boss, I just wanted to let you know the cleaning crew just finished, everything is locked and everyone is out." He gave me a warm smile, leaning against his forearm on the door frame. He filled that door frame pretty thoroughly.

"Thanks Jake. You heading out?"

"Only if there's nothing else you need."

I smiled. "Actually, if you've got some free time, I've been meaning to talk to you."

He walked into the room, and folded his large frame gracefully into a chair across from me. "I've got plenty of time. What's up boss?"

"Well, I don't mean to inflate your ego, but you know you're my right hand man here, right?"

He barked out a deep laugh. "Wow, coming from you that's pretty much a compliment."

I rolled my eyes. "Whatever. It's true, but I want to know if you want more."

"I'm not exactly sure what you mean."

"What are your plans for the future Jacob? You've been working with me for eight months now, and you've brought me some good employees since then. Do you see yourself still doing this in five years?"

He slumped back in his chair, and watched me curiously for a couple minutes. I remained silent, letting him process my words.

"This is easy work for me. I'm good at keeping people organized. At first it was just easy money, but… it's kind of grown on me. I don't want to just be a bouncer though, I want more. I just don't know what yet. I've been thinking about taking some online courses, and looking for a second job since the garage closed. I just haven't found anything interesting yet."

"Well Jacob, I have a few propositions for you, if you want to hear them."

"I can't see myself turning down any propositions from you," he said, wiggling his eyebrows at me. I laughed, rolling my eyes again.

"As I said, you're like my right hand guy here Jacob, which is why I'm offering this to you first. I don't plan on working here much longer, and I will need someone who's able to cover for me if something happens to me. I want to start training someone as my replacement. You've already covered for me a few times before, and if you're up for it, I'd like to start training you in some other duties and make it more official."

He was quiet for a minute, and then a bright white smile split the warm russet skin of his face. "Really?" I nodded. "That would be great boss, I definitely accept. Thank you. What sort of stuff will I be doing?"

I smiled, a little relieved that I wouldn't have to find someone else for the job. Jake was by far my first choice, he reminded me a lot of Sam, hence my second proposal. "How good are you with computers, Jacob?"

I didn't get home until a bit after five. Jacob sat with me while I finished putting in the night's numbers, paying close attention as I explained the accounting software to him. He was fairly capable with a computer, he told me he played some online games, but there were a lot of things I wanted him to get freshened up on. He was ecstatic when I told him about the online courses I'd sponsor for him. I got him set up for the courses, one in windows software, an intro to business, an intro into accounting, and a first aid course. He'd agreed to do one at a time and shadow me in the meantime, and I told him if he wanted experience in another field of security, I could give his information to my friend Sam, who had started his own business.

Once I hit my mattress I was out cold.

. . . . . . . . . .

The two weeks went by much more easily than I thought they would have. It felt like I was constantly busy, constantly rushing.

That was the most surprising part.

I'd wake up in the mornings, go to the gym, go through Emmett's e-mails, stop by the Library for an hour to check in, have lunch with Jasper, and then head over to the club to go through Rose's and mine own work and put in some time with Jacob's training. From five in the morning until three in the afternoon, I felt like I was constantly running.

But it was because I had something to run to.

I still hung out with Alice, meeting up for dinner with her on Mondays and sometimes Wednesdays, and I was still working my Friday and Saturday nights, from my office whenever I could but every other day… There was Edward.

Every minute I spent with him made me want two minutes more. I still thought it was a bit weird how… comfortable I was around him. After everything he learned of me, my past, the threat I lived with, the way I lived my life, he was still here. Still smiling. Still looking at me like he always looked at me, constantly attentive, engrossed and just… happy.

It was contagious. Whenever he smiled at me I just wanted to smile back. He seemed so goddamn happy to just hang out in my building with me. I had been to his apartment twice in the past two weeks, only making it inside once. The second time there were just too many photographers, taking pictures of pretty much everyone that went in. When I told him about it, he had come downstairs fifteen minutes later.

I smiled as I remembered him walking out the doors, walking right past the photographers in a janitor's uniform and a horrible black wig and glasses. I had followed him down the block in my truck before he had jumped in, and I can still remember the brightness in his eyes when he smiled at my laughing face.

"What are you wearing?" I had managed to gasp as he put on his seat belt.

"What? Like I'd let a few photographers stop me from seeing you? Please," he had said with an eye roll.

He was nothing if not determined, and I found his stubbornness an oddly endearing trait.

And it wasn't the only one.

He was incredibly… attentive of me. There were so many things he did that made me feel like he saw me so much more clearly than others. Like the way he moved slowly when he sat next to me, like he was putting extra effort in me seeing him so he wouldn't startle me. He put in an unnecessary effort to make sure he never snuck up on me. Then there was the time he had changed tables when I was with him in LA. He held doors open for me, was always offered to carry things for me.

Despite my first impression of him… he was a real gentleman. He didn't try anything.

And he never hinted at wanting anything more. He made it incredibly clear that he just wanted to hang out with me.

It was mind boggling. I still didn't get his interest, or understand it. He told Alice that he loved me.

Edward Cullen is in love with me.

And I was quickly becoming addicted to him. The way he smiled at me, the smooth sound of his deep voice, that sparkle in his eye when he listened so intently. How safe I had felt tucked under his arm on my couch that one time, after the initial shock of unease.

It didn't help that he was ridiculously good-looking, and smelt good enough to eat.

Which was another oddity to deal with. I was attracted to Edward Cullen.

And that had never happened before. Sure, I knew when a man was good looking, but it had never been enough to make me actually attracted to someone before. Hence my lack of a history…

Is this how he felt? That nervous excitement I felt leading up to every moment I knew I was going to see him, and the peace and comfort that came when I was finally with him?

Was that love?

Was I in love with Edward?

I watched him as he changed the last tire on my truck, the way the muscles in his arm flexed under his tight t-shirt as he tightened the bolts. His lips pulling up at the corner of his mouth in that crooked grin of his.

No, I was merely attracted to him, I told myself. Even if it wasn't about his looks, that sort of feeling was just something I wasn't capable of. Maybe this is how he felt about all those other women, because I knew for certain that he did have a history.

The thought alone made my stomach twist painfully.

We carried my summer tires back to storage as I tried to push the sickening feeling out of my stomach. Was I really anything more than any of those other women? Sure, we weren't physically intimate or anything like that, but the thought of him smiling at another woman like he did for me, even looking at someone else…

Fuck.

I was jealous.

"So what time does their flight get in at?" Edward asked, carrying three tires and breaking into my chaotic thoughts. I took a deep breath to collect myself.

"Ten-thirty. Are you still coming to dinner at their place tomorrow?" He said he never loved Tanya. What about the others?

How many others were there?

"Of course. Seven, right?"

"We're eating at seven, you can come earlier if you want."

Was it pathetic that I missed him every night after he left? That I'd been tempted to ask him to stay over again, just to hang out with him for a few extra minutes?

I couldn't though. I didn't want to give him the wrong idea.

But it was becoming more and more obvious to me that I missed him whenever he wasn't with me.

"What time are you heading over at?"

"Around four."

"Want to ride over together?"

My immediate mental answer of YES was worrisome, and gave me pause. I was running down a slippery slope, I knew that. I also knew that I should stop myself while I could, before I gained too much momentum.

But I was honestly starting to think he might be worth the fall.

"Okay. I'll send you a text before I head over."

We got back up to my apartment, and I pulled out my big jug of orange soap and he joined me by my kitchen sink as we tried to get the grease off of our hands. I flinched when his elbow got close to bumping into mine, and hated the hurt look I put in his eyes. It passed quickly though, and he gave me a gentle smile before drying his hands.

"I'm just going to change, I'll only be a minute," I said quietly, not meeting his eyes. I grabbed some clothes out of my tallboy and ducked into the washroom. I turned around, and rested my forehead against the cool wood of the door.

What was wrong with me? If there was one thing I knew for certain about Edward, it was that he didn't want to hurt me. He wouldn't hurt me, at least not like Victor had. I knew this, so why did my body keep reacting the way it did?

This was Victor's fault, but unlike it usually did when I thought of him, the anger didn't come. It just… hurt. A cold, empty, lonely sort of hurt.

I wrapped my arms around myself tightly, trying to squeeze the pain out of myself, or at least stop my body from crumbling apart while I took an unsteady breath.

I heard his footsteps through the door, and that soft sound helped me start moving again. I hurt him enough as it was, it wouldn't do to crumble apart completely in my bathroom while he was here. I robotically pulled on a clean pair of jeans and a t-shirt.

The tight feeling in my chest seemed to dissolve when I walked back out and saw him inspecting my book shelves. I maybe should have warned him about those books, because quite a lot of them were no longer actual books, but he seemed fine.

"Find anything that interests you?" I asked with genuine curiosity, and bit back my laugh when he jumped almost a foot in the air before giving me that gorgeous smile.

"I don't know, you have a fucking library," he teased. "How do you even get to the ones at the top, are they just decoration?"

Yes and no? I didn't know his opinion on guns, so I kept the knowledge to myself and just demonstrated. There were grooves in the solid oak shelves that made them easily to climb. I grabbed my collector's edition copy of "A Game of Thrones" from the top shelf, and climbed down a few shelves before jumping off. I handed him the book with a grin.

"I think you might like that one, you should give it a go." He didn't say anything, just looked at me incredulously, and I fled to my kitchen to escape the unease that look gave me. He snapped out of it quickly, and jumped in front of me to stop me. I took a small step back away from the intensity of his gaze.

Fuck, what did I do? My pulse started thudding loudly in my head as I took in his anger.

"You could have fallen! You could break your neck from that height, what if the shelf fell over?"

He was angry because he was worried about me? It seemed like a sort of oxymoron. I tried my hardest to keep my voice even as I replied.

Show no signs of fear.

"Calm down Drama Queen. Those shelves are sturdy as hell, Emmett built them himself and they're anchored heavily into the wall. You'd need a wrecking ball to take those things down." It came out calm, but I still felt like I was going to be sick as I watched him. His anger seemed to dissolve as he sighed and dropped onto one of my bar stools. He took the bottle of water I handed him without looking. I was thankful he didn't see the slight tremble in my hands.

I hopped up onto the counter, feeling an odd need to apologize to him. Which was ridiculous, since I did nothing wrong. He over-reacted, and I told him so, rightfully so I think. So why did I feel so god damn guilty?

It was kind of nice, being worried about. It was different than Em or Rose.

He worries because… he loves me.

How many other girls has he done that for?

There was no way to just come out an ask something like that.

"What's up?" His voice was relaxed and smooth once again as he watched me curiously.

I shook my head. I couldn't ask him that. "No, it's nothing," I said, and hopped back off my counter. I filled Zeus' bowl, and he came barreling in like he hadn't eaten in days, though I'd fed him only hours ago, and sent kibble flying all over my clean floors. I sighed, but left it, knowing he'd suck up every single crumb before he went and took a nap. I heard Edward chuckle, and as always, the sound just drew me in, and then I got trapped in his intensely green eyes.

And then I was back to square one. How many others had he trapped with those eyes? Really, who could resist them? And why did I want to know even though I already knew the answer would be painful? It was fucked up, that's what it was.

"Something's up, just say it Bella."

"No."

He smirked, and raised an eyebrow curiously. "Stop being such a girl," he teased, deliberately trying to get a rise out of me. It had no effect on the morbid curiosity that was shouting for my attention though. I went to my fridge, desperate for some sort of distraction, and when I saw the bag of apples I sighed in relief, took them out, and grabbed a bowl and peeler before I attacked the bag.

I don't know how he had so much damn patience with me, but when he spoke again his voice was gentle. "Whatever you're stressing out over, you're probably blowing it out of proportion in your mind," he said logically. "You'll feel better if you just say it, and you know I'm not going anywhere, so I don't see why you're being so nervous."

Fuck, if he really wanted me to say it, I was going to fucking say it. I ripped off the Band-Aid.

"How many girlfriends have you had?"

He tensed immediately, and the room was silent for a moment, only the sound of my peeler cutting through the skin of the apple in my hand breaking the quiet. He let out a soft sigh before he spoke.

"I'm not sure, actually."

Well, at least he was being honest. Still, it was hard not to cringe. I managed to force a grin and keep my voice light, though it felt as though I'd been kicked in the gut.

"That many?"

I was just expecting a laugh or something similar, but instead he gave me an answer that kind of made everything better.

"It's just…. There was nothing really worth remembering. I never really connected with any of the women I was with, and they never lasted long. Tanya was the longest relationship I had been in."

Well, I knew that we had a connection. That was pretty damn obvious to both of us. Did that mean he cared more about me, than any of those women he'd actually slept with? We didn't really have any sort of romantic relationship, we just… hung out. And haven't even been doing so for very long.

The way he was looking at me know though, the sincerity in his eyes, the regret, the fucking passion in them, I knew that was exactly what he meant.

I wanted him to know that I hadn't felt this sort of pull to anyone else, ever in my life. I've never wanted to be close to someone like I have him, but I just couldn't find the words. Instead I just went off of something he said, and I voiced my curiosity. What did he consider a long relationship?

"How long?"

"Eight months," he said easily, eying the apple that I was slicing. I handed him a piece, and he grinned like a little boy before popping it into his mouth. "Does that… bother you?"

Really, since he told me he had never loved Tanya, and that I knew of the resentment he now held for her, the idea that he had been in a relationship with her really didn't bother me.

And he cared more about me than any of them. The appeal of that lifestyle was still a difficult concept for me to grasp though. "No, not really. I was kind of expecting your answer to be honest. I just have trouble wrapping my mind around it."

"Why is that?"

"I can't see the appeal in being with someone you don't care for. Yeah, I know guys like sex and everything, but can it really be that enjoyable if you're not enjoying who you're doing with?" Because even with my own history, I knew that it obviously wasn't always like that. Some women loved it, but to me the idea was just terrifying, and held no appeal at all.

And I'm pretty sure he knew that. Again, why was he still here? I looked up at him, and the barely concealed rage in his expression startled me. I was trapped though, and as he looked back at me, I saw the emotion fade to something more gentle before it was replaced with his crooked smile.

"It can be… empty. But it can be quite enjoyable too. The aspect of release, it's something that has to be experienced to be understood," he said in a deep, smooth voice, not breaking eye contact with me for a second. I felt my face flame red under his cocky gaze from his words. Knowing he could probably see the clear proof of my embarrassment made it that much worse, and he kept his smile easily while he thankfully changed the subject. "So, what are you making?"

I sighed in relief. "Apple crisp."

"What's that?"

"Stick around and you'll find out," I said, and for a moment wished he was capable of reading my mind.

I want you to stay.

He gave me an easy smile, and I grinned back as I went back to peeling.

. . . . . . . . . .

Thanks for reading! And thanks for all those that leave reviews, every single one makes me smile ;)