Warnings: Angst, violence, language, adventure, lemons, AU, fantasy, angst again.

A/N: I'm sorry it's taken a while for me to update this. Deviant and A Very Dark Corner have been VERY insistent, and I found it hard to resist getting both of those fics on their feet.

Lost Dreams

Chapter Ten

We are all going to die.

They had been riding for nine hours already, and with every mile they covered, Heero's sense of impending doom was renewed.

There was simply no way that thirteen people could possibly hope to attack a Mysian army of several hundred and have any chance of living, much less making a dent in the Mysian forces.

He could understand Duo's desire to go to the aid of the free workers - and he knew that Trowa would have been unable to resist offering his assistance as well, given his own past.

But now the entire future of the Theran monarchy was riding to their deaths.

If Heero had had his way, neither Solo nor Duo would be on this suicide mission. As much as he would have preferred Duo, at least, to stay behind, he knew the prince well enough to know that his threat of sneaking out and traveling to South Pass on his own had not been an idle one. Solo, at least, should have stayed.

Instead, they were all going to die.

Heero had no qualms about facing his own death - he was a soldier, from a family of soldiers. Only his great-great grandfather had died of old age, and Heero had no expectations of living that long. But that was different than facing the death of the princes - one whom he considered a friend, the other...

Trowa had set a steady pace, no doubt at the limit of what he estimated the horses could travel, and it made conversation impossible between the riders.

As such, Heero had been alone with his thoughts for hours now, and much to his annoyance, those thoughts had focused all too often on Duo.

When Trowa had told him that Duo had kissed him, Heero had felt a genuine, sharp tug of envy. It had taken him completely off guard - yes, he had caught himself admiring Duo's lean body far too often - and he had been forced to admit to himself, and then Trowa, that he was attracted to the man he was charged to protect. It wasn't merely physical, which made it even worse, because he cared about Duo. He had grown to appreciate his sharp sense of humor, and his desire for justice endeared him to Heero.

If he had been faced with only a growing emotional attachment to him, Heero was sure he could have turned his feelings towards friendship, and developed a relationship similar to the one he had with Solo. But it was physical as well.

Heero had only ever been with Trowa, and had considered himself fortunate beyond words to have found a partner who so seamlessly fit into his life and accepted him, not to mention, was breathtakingly handsome and an amazing lover. Unlike Trowa, who had had other lovers, Heero had never even considered being with anyone else - why would he, when he already had someone like Trowa? Duo challenged all of that.

Even now, nearly a month after his return to Thera, Duo was slight, his lean body bordering on frail, but Heero knew from experience that he was strong.

The night of his assassination attempt, when he had stood naked in front of Heero and Trowa, daring either of them to feel pity for him, Duo had transformed in Heero's eyes from his charge into something beautiful and dangerous that Heero desired. He had been shocked by just how much he wanted Duo, in that moment. He had been overwhelmed by anger at the sight of the tattoo carved into his pale flesh, and he almost regretted that Duo had already killed the Inquisitor; but the sight of Duo's defiance and strength had sent a jolt of pure lust through him. The lust he had been able to fight, but when Duo confided his supposed cowardice to them, Heero had realized that he was doomed.

Duo was a man that had suffered so much, yet had such an indomitable will. It wasn't that Heero wanted to protect him or shelter him, but he wanted to help him. He wanted to be at his side, and he desperately wanted to touch him.

It was easy enough for Trowa, a king in his own right and a trusted adviser to Sylvia, Solo, and Gregory, to act on his attraction to the Theran prince. They were social equals. But Heero was a commoner, tasked with defending the prince with his very life, and there was simply no way that, even IF Duo were interested, any relationship could exist between the two.

Not that it mattered.

They were all going to die too soon for it to matter.

Trowa called a halt around dawn, insisting that both the horses and the riders needed to rest before they entered enemy territory.

Duo had looked rebellious at the idea of stopping, but Trowa had pointed out that showing up at the fort only to be in need of a nap wouldn't do anyone any good, and would only get them all killed that much sooner.

So Duo had retreated to the small fire that Ralph started, while Alex and two other Sentinels set up a watch around the camp.

Hilde and the remaining Sentinels started another fire, while Quatre and Solo did likewise.

Heero looked at the others, took in the tense set of Duo's shoulders, and the way that Ralph sat down beside him, close enough that their sides were pressed together.

'Ralph looks cozy," he growled to Trowa, who, with his usual ability to nap anywhere, was already stretched out by their fire, wrapped in his oilskin cloak, his eyes closed.

"Hm?"

"Ralph. And Duo."

That got Trowa's attention, and he sat up to look across the camp.

"We aren't the only ones that find him attractive," Trowa said grimly before lying back down.

"You don't care that your second in command is hitting on him?"

"I care just as much as you seem to, but I'm hardly in a position to do anything, am I? He thinks I hate him. You should go over there and break it up."

Heero rolled his eyes.

"Yes, because that's logical."

"It is - oh right." Trowa sat back up, looking suddenly more alert. "Before Hilde arrived at the palace yesterday, Quatre was in the middle of listing all of my faults when he said that Duo wanted both of us."

Heero frowned.

"He's attracted to both of us?"

"Yes. And I have to agree with Quatre about this - it makes perfect sense for him to be attracted to you. You have threatened to kill him since you met, after all."

Heero glared.

"He is," Trowa repeated.

"Quatre thinks he is. And Quatre loves to play matchmaker."

"Yes, but Quatre also doesn't care much for me. So why bother to tell me this unless Duo told him?"

"Why - why?"

"Heero, I've clearly been a terrible lover if you don't understand just how appealing you are. He would have to be blind, deaf, and a complete idiot not to be attracted to you. And don't bother arguing," Trowa continued when Heero opened his mouth to protest, "I know you've never been with anyone else, but I also know you've had offers. You have to know how great you are."

"I'm a soldier. I'm a commoner. I'm -"

"The most honorable man I know, and if you asked Duo, I'm pretty sure he'd say the same thing. Do you really think birth matters to him? He's lived as a commoner for fifteen years."

"He's still my prince."

"Why did this never matter between us? Aside from the fact that I don't have a kingdom." There was a bitter edge to Trowa's voice.

"Because you kissed me. YOU invited me to live with the Sentinels after my father's death. You approached me for sex. You made it clear, from the beginning, that you weren't going to let me walk away from you unless I wanted to, that nothing mattered to you except me."

Trowa smiled, one corner of his mouth tilting upwards and his eyes warmed.

"I still feel that way," he said.

"But you want Duo too."

"We want Duo too," Trowa corrected. "Doesn't it feel... right? Thinking about him with us? We're the same, us three - we value the same things, we all hate the bullshit of court politics, we're warriors."

"We're damaged," Heero added, "and yes, so is he, but shouldn't he... be with someone who isn't?"

"You tell me, because we are damaged," Trowa agreed. "Has being with me made it... worse?"

"No. You're the only one who understands, who doesn't judge me."

Trowa looked triumphant. He folded his hands behind his head and laid back down. Heero sighed.

"Fine. I'm not saying he needs someone like Quatre, but -"

"But nothing, Heero. He wants us - or at least he did, until I made an ass of myself. He wants you, at any rate."

"It hardly matters," Heero said as he sat down beside Trowa and settled against the other man's side.

"Because we're all going to die?" Trowa asked, his voice amused.

"Yes."

"That attitude is why you never became a full Sentinel, you know," Trowa mused. He ran one hand idly through Heero's hair. "We don't care for the odds."

"That's because you're guided by the Gods," Heero muttered.

"Right. That's definitely it. You know, Duo said the same thing to me - the night we first met? I'll make you a deal," he said after a pause, "I'll have the Gods keep all of us from dying if, after the free workers are safe, you help me convince Duo that I don't hate him, and that we're just as interested in him as he is in us."

Heero sighed.

"Why not? We'll all be dead, so I'm not risking anything by saying yes."

Trowa kissed him and then settled back to sleep.

"I love it when you're wrong, Heero," he said as he closed his eyes again.

It was dusk when they reached the South Pass.

The terrain had turned rocky, and while it was still bitterly cold, snow had not yet fallen this far South.

Heero had been to the fort once, years ago, before he had joined the Royal Guard.

It was a precarious stone structure, situated on a rocky plateau that overlooked the actual Pass, built into the rocky face of the Northern Mountains on one side, and overlooking the Hellas river, here at its broadest and supposedly deepest, on another. Below the fort, in the valley of the Pass, a settlement had been started with free workers farming the fertile ground and mining in the Northern Mountains. It was supposed to be one of the safer settlements, and certainly one of the more prosperous ones this far south.

When Trowa brought them to a halt on the northern ridge of the pass, still in the tree line and hidden from sight, Heero could see the devastation the Mysian army had wrought.

The settlement was gone, and in the failing light, Heero could see wisps of smoke from the fields, no doubt burnt and salted by now.

"Why would they do this?" Quatre asked, despair in his voice.

"The Mysian climate is temperate - they can grow food year around, so they don't need more agriculture. They want the mining here, the access to the river and the Pass through the mountains. By salting the earth they force any future settlements - their settlements, made up of slave labor - to be dependent upon the capital for food. It helps to cement their power and it eliminates the risk of their settlements becoming autonomous or rebellious."

Heero wasn't surprised that Duo answered Quatre's question, but he was impressed by how well he summed up the Mysian strategy. The venom in his voice as he described it, however, made it clear how much it angered him to see it, again.

"The fort looks intact," Solo pointed out after a moment of silence, as everyone digested just how clever and diabolical the Mysians were.

"And surrounded," Ralph added.

"Not the river side," Duo pointed out.

"Which helps us how?" Solo asked. "The walls of the fort are solid rock. Even if we could swim it - and it's damned cold, little brother, not to mention dangerous - how would we get in?"

Duo looked a little sheepish.

"The smugglers nook," he finally said in a rush.

"The what?" Heero demanded, sure that he hadn't heard him correctly.

"The smugglers nook," Duo repeated. "It's built into the wall - nice little storage area and a secret tunnel that leads to the mess."

"No there isn't," Heero argued. He had never heard of such a thing.

"My brother would know if there was, and he's never said -"

"Okay, fine," Duo snapped. "I made it up."

Heero fought against the urge to roll his eyes at Duo's tone. The prince was obviously frustrated and angry.

"How do you know about it?" Trowa asked, his tone even.

"I've used it. The commander of the fort thought he could make a profit selling excess weapons and rations to the rebels and I was the go between."

"My brother is not a smuggler!"

Duo rolled his eyes.

"I'm talking about General Tsubarov. Is he your brother?"

"No, Carl got promoted after Tsubarov's death."

"Then your brother isn't a smuggler," Duo assured her, "and since Tsubarov was a sneaky bastard, I'm willing to be no one knew about the nook besides him and a few of his lackeys. It should still be there."

Trowa turned to Ralph.

"You and Sam stay with the horses. If this works, I'll be back to update you."

Ralph didn't look too happy with the assignment, but he nodded in acceptance.

"We'll have to go the rest of the way on foot in any case," Trowa said to the others as he swung out of his saddle, "Mysians scout are shit, but even they would notice a parade of horses."

It took a few minutes for everyone to gather their equipment, and by that time darkness had fallen. The night sky was dimly illuminated by a fortuitously full moon, and the distant fires of the Mysian camp.

Trowa led the way down the ridge to the river's edge, and Heero fell into step beside Duo.

The prince seemed to be muttering something under his breath, but stopped when Heero came close to him. He arched an eyebrow in question.

"I was praying," he confessed. "To the moon," he added a moment later. "The Mistress of the God of Death - she's supposed to watch over wayward souls and show them the way."

"To death?" Heero questioned, disconcerted.

"Not necessarily. Not if it isn't their time." He sighed. "I'm sure you've been going insane since I insisted on coming here. I...appreciate you not locking me in the dungeons to keep me from doing this."

Heero couldn't help but chuckle.

"The thought had crossed my mind, but I'm pretty confident you would have been able to escape."

"Oh, you know I would." Duo sounded a little more at ease now.

"Tsubarov was murdered, eight months ago," Heero said after a few minutes of walking in silence.

"Really?" Duo asked, sounding not the slightest bit surprised or sad. "Guess the bastard made himself a few enemies."

When they reached the river, Solo swore.

"This is madness! We're going to freeze to death if we can even survive the current!"

"You don't have to come," Duo told him and walked past him down to the shore.

It was bright here, the moon reflecting off the water's surface lending all of them an ethereal glow.

Duo strapped his sword to his back, and Heero found himself following his lead - it would keep the blade marginally drier and make swimming easier.

Without waiting for anyone else, Duo dove into the river.

Solo swore again and started to reposition his own weapons, but Heero and Trowa immediately followed the other man into the water.

The water was cold, and it stung Heero like thousands of sharp needles.

He fought against the current and managed to reach the surface of the river. It took him a moment to orient himself, but he saw Duo a few yards ahead of him, and Trowa off to his side.

It seemed like forever before they reached the wall of the fort, and Duo climbed out of the river onto the rocks. Heero watched as Duo waited for Trowa and helped haul the other man out of the water.

"Here," Duo called out to Heero and reached out to him.

Heero took his hand and Trowa grabbed his other arm, both men working to pull him up to the rocks.

"Thanks," he said, and fought to catch his breath. It really was freezing.

"You two want to wait for the others while I -"

"No," Heero and Trowa said simultaneously.

"We'll wait together," Heero added.

Duo shrugged and started to try to wring water out of his clothing.

It was another ten minutes before the others joined them, and by that time Heero, Trowa, and Duo were shivering from the cold.

After helping the others, Duo started to walk across the rocks, moving nimbly across the uneven footing in the dark as though he had the path memorized.

When they came to a particularly large rock, Duo stopped.

"I'm going to need some help with this," he said and looked back at Heero and Trowa.

"Climbing over it?" Heero asked.

"No, moving it. The entrance to the nook is behind it."

The three men were able to move the rock, though it took considerable effort, and sure enough, there was a dark passageway behind it.

"I'll be damned," Solo muttered. "If Tsubarov wasn't already dead I'd kill the bastard myself."

"Be careful and watch your heads," Duo cautioned them. "It's not the smoothest walk. But... unless I'm wrong... hah!"

A moment later a golden flicker of light illuminated Duo's face and the tunnel.

"I thought I left this here," Duo said. The flicker of light suddenly grew to a dull blaze as Duo lit a torch. "That should make things easier." He started towards the tunnel.

"I'll go first," Heero said, and took the torch from him before the prince could protest, and started down the tunnel.

He sincerely hoped that Carl wasn't anticipating a Mysian attack from within the fort, or there was every chance they would all die at the hands of their own countrymen.

When they emerged in the mess all movement stopped.

Instead of being filled with soldiers, the mess had been converted into a makeshift hospital, and free workers and soldiers alike froze to stare at the intruders.

Several reached for weapons.

"Therans!" Heero shouted. "We're here to help."

The soldiers looked uneasy, but Solo pushed his way to stand beside Heero.

Not everyone recognized him, especially with his golden hair plastered to his scalp and his sodden clothing making him look more like a vagrant than a prince, but enough people did, and a murmur of awe rose from the crowd.

Solo turned to the nearest soldier.

"Take us to Captain Schiebaker," he commanded.

The soldier looked hesitant, but another, older man nudged him, and he stumbled into a bow.

"Of course, sir, I mean – your Majesty. Your Highness. My Prince."

Heero could tell that Solo was amused at having flustered the young soldier, but he was grateful that Solo merely inclined his head and gestured for the soldier to lead them.

As they walked through the fort, Heero took in the huddled free workers and the soldiers, all grim faced in the golden torch and firelight.

They looked tired, but not defeated, and there was enough activity that Heero thought that the garrison – one hundred strong at its best – had to be in decent shape.

The soldier led them to the armory, where Carl appeared to be inspected their weapons.

"Captain," Solo greeted his childhood friend.

Carl stopped and dropped the sword he had been inspected and stared, open mouthed, at Solo.

Before he could formulate a response, Hilde rushed forward and leapt into his arms.

"Carl!" She cried against his neck.

It took a moment for him to hug her back, and he continued to stare wide eyed at Solo.

"My Prince," he finally managed after setting Hilde on her feet and kissing her forehead. "What – how– you." His voice changed from unsure to vehement on the last word, and he reached for the sword at his side, drawing it and advancing towards them.

Heero instinctively put himself between Solo and Carl, even though it seemed illogical for the captain to have decided to attack the prince.

But Carl continued to advance, until his sword was pressed against Duo's neck.

"You filthy, lying, bastard. I told you never to show your face here again. I trusted you and –"

"Stand down, Captain," Heero ordered, leaving Solo's side and moving between Carl and Duo, bumping the prince backwards and out of Carl's reach.

"Why are you protecting this rebel scum?" Carl demanded.

"Because he's my brother," Solo offered with a smirk, not bothering to hide his amusement.

Carl looked back at Solo, and then back at Duo again.

"By the Gods. No."

It reminded Heero very much of the reactions he and Trowa had experienced at the news. Granted, neither of them had been in the process of threatening to kill Duo.

"Sheathe your sword, Captain," Heero said, putting an edge into his voice.

In a daze, Carl complied.

"Clearly you two have met," Solo said, still amused.

"Bast – shit. The Prince visited the garrison about eight months ago, yes." Carl's words were an angry growl.

Heero looked over his shoulder at Duo.

"Captain Blind Faith here was kind enough to give me a tour of the dungeons," Duo said.

"So he caught you smuggling weapons from Tsubarov?" Quatre suggested.

Duo winced as Carl gave an angry exclamation.

"That's why you knew it wasn't the butcher's boy!" Carl said.

"And I told you it wasn't him, didn't I? I told you that you needed to open your damn eyes."

"So you murdered him in cold blood because of what he did to that boy?"

"No. I gave that boy – and those girls– the justice that no one else would. Or will you deny knowing about what he did?"

Carl turned pale and his jaw muscles clenched.

"This is fascinating, really," Trowa spoke up, "but perhaps we can relive the old days later… when there isn't an enemy army camped a hundred feet away, contemplating our very immediate deaths?"

Carl reluctantly stopped glaring at Duo and turned to the Sentinel.

"How did you manage to get in here?" He asked.

"Duo," Trowa said. "He led us through a tunnel from the river."

Carl closed his eyes and shook his head.

"That bastard. I knew he –"

Trowa cleared his throat.

"Some other time. Right." Carl sighed and turned to Solo. "I'm not sure why you came. I sent Gus to give you word that the fort would fall. I didn't anticipate reinforcement or… you, My Prince. Or that one," he added lamely, with a gesture in Duo's direction.

"Well, you got both of us. I'm afraid this is it, in terms of reinforcement. What's the situation?"

The question transformed Carl back into the veteran soldier that he was, and he proceeded to give a succinct report of the last four days.

"The Mysian army is some three hundred strong – less, now. I'd estimate fifty casualties on their part by now."

"How many free workers have died?" Duo asked, earning a strange look from Carl.

"Thirty, in the initial attack. Since we managed to get everyone into the fort we've lost another five, from injuries sustained earlier."

"Soldiers?" Solo asked.

"We've lost fifteen. The men put up a good fight, in the initial confrontation. But the Mysian's have built siege towers. We managed to repulse their first attacks, but it's only a matter of time, now. There are simply too many of them. Even with… you eleven, there's nothing we can do. I'm afraid you arrived in time to die with us, My Prince – s," he added awkwardly.

"Can't we try to evacuate the free workers?" Duo pressed.

"How?" Carl sneered, "hold up a white flag and ask the Mysians to let them pass? YOU should know how well that would be received, if any of the stories about you were ever true."

"Or the less stupid way and take them across the river. Same way we got in."

"Swimming against the current across a freezing river is the less stupid way?" Carl echoed. "These people are injured, sick, weak – damn it. You all need dry clothes." He sighed. "Thomas!"

The soldier who had led them to Carl stepped up.

"Sir?"

"Take them to the barracks. Surely there's something they can wear." He turned back to Solo. "I need to inspect the ramparts. After you're dry and have had something to eat, we will speak again."

He moved past them, stopping to glare at Duo as he did.

"You certainly know how to make impressions," Solo said to his brother.

Duo frowned but remained silent.

Heero wanted to know what, exactly, had happened eight months ago. Clearly it had something to do with Tsubarov's death, and Carl, who was normally calm and slow to anger, had been ready to kill Duo over it.

Thomas led them to the barracks and started to rifle through the trunks, barking orders at the few soldiers sleeping in their beds to get up and be useful.

In a matter of minutes he had found clean, warm trousers and shirts for all of them, even though he looked a bit sheepish as he offered Hilde the clothing.

She accepted it with a roll of her eyes and started to strip, which shocked Thomas into turning away from her even as she laughed at him.

Heero and the others followed her example, and he was in dry clothes before he noticed Duo standing to one side, still in his wet clothes, looking miserable.

"What –" Heero caught himself and shook his head. "You have nothing to be ashamed of," he assured Duo in an undertone.

The prince's eyes focused on him.

"How can you say that? You've seen me!" He hissed.

The others started to file past them, heading out towards the mess, but Trowa also lingered, until it was just the three of them, and the soldiers settling back down in their beds.

"We're alone now," Trowa said, clearly picking up on the issue at hand. "And you have to get out of those clothes."

Duo looked past them at the soldiers, but seemed content that no one was looking in his direction, and started to strip.

Heero turned away, thinking that Duo deserved some courtesy, but Trowa's hand dug into his arm and he turned to glare at him.

Trowa held his gaze for a moment, and Heero sighed before glancing back at Duo.

The prince had stripped off his wet pants and was in the process of pulling on the dry pair, having elected to save his shirt until last.

He caught both of them looking at him and glared.

"I'm going to change, you don't have to babysit me," he growled.

"Maybe we just like looking at you," Trowa suggested mildly.

Duo snarled and pulled off his shirt.

"Yeah, I'll just bet."

He reached for the dry shirt, but Trowa took it from him.

"What?" Duo demanded, crossing his arms over his chest protectively. "Or is this another pity thing of yours?"

"I didn't kiss you out of pity," Trowa growled.

Duo's eyes darted over to Heero uneasily.

"I wouldn't have kissed you out of pity either," Heero said.

Duo frowned.

"Maybe to stop you from ranting," Heero mused.

"Hm," Trowa agreed with a nod, "that would be a useful tactic."

Duo looked between them, mouth open, and then shook his head. He snatched his shirt out of Trowa's hands and pulled it on.

"Are you done laughing at me?" He demanded.

Trowa sighed.

"We aren't laughing at you."

"Right. You just find me so interesting that you want to watch me change and tease me about kissing - out of a desire to not laugh at me."

"You are interesting," Heero agreed.

"I'm only teasing you about kissing so that I'll have an excuse to do it again," Trowa confided.

Duo gave him a sharp look.

"And Heero's just tagging along because he likes to watch?"

Trowa looked to Heero.

It certainly wasn't after the battle with the army, but, in the long run, perhaps he might as well say something now. They were, after all, all going to die.

Except Duo looked insecure and actually hurt, as though he really did think that this was some game they were playing with him.

Trowa arched an eyebrow, and Heero mentally threw caution to the wind.

He closed the distance between them and kissed Duo, completely shocking the other man.

He could feel his entire body tense up, but Heero moved his mouth over Duo's, gently trying to coax a response out of him.

It took a moment, but Duo relaxed into the kiss, and his body seemed to melt towards Heero's as he started to respond, his own mouth opening and allowing Heero to taste him. Their tongues tangled together and drove Heero to pull Duo against him, wrapping his arms around the other man and savoring the feel and heat of him.

Eventually, Heero eased away.

Duo looked at him as though he had never seen him before, and Trowa, standing to one side, had a look on his face that usually meant he wanted to jump into bed with Heero. It made him smirk, and Duo followed his attention.

"What?" Duo asked hesitantly, taking in the heat in Trowa's eyes.

"Apparently I'm not the one who enjoys watching," Heero said, amused and aroused.

"I'd rather do less watching and more participating," Trowa muttered.

Duo flushed.

"I really don't understand what's going on here. You don't even like me," he said to Trowa, then turned to Heero. "And you barely do."

"You're wrong," Heero assured him. "We like you. Too much, actually. It's damned distracting."

"Speaking of distractions," Trowa spoke up before Duo could respond, "we should probably find the others. This isn't the best time to be having this conversation."

"You started it," Duo pointed out, sounding more than a little cranky.

"And I intend to continue it," Trowa said with a smirk, "just as soon as –"

"Attack! Attack! They're attacking!"

The sudden shouting roused the sleeping soldiers and the three men joined them as they rushed out of the barracks.

The night sky was alight with fire, and people filled in the courtyard in a flurry of activity.

"We need to find Solo," Heero told them.

"Look up," Duo growled and pointed.

Sure enough, Solo was easily identifiable on the ramparts above them, standing beside Carl, his sword aloft, as though calling everyone to battle.

"We're all going to die," Heero finally said aloud, just as all hell broke loose.