You're Fired!

Part 1 – Nothing Personal, But…

The emotional toll was adding up and weighing against me. Morrigan's threats, Alistair's disappointment in me as a person and as a commander, and the recent, devastating losses left me at the edge of my ability to cope. Prior to coming to the Vigil, I hadn't experienced defeat. I understood now why it was usually coupled with the adjective "bitter".

There was a discreet knock at my door. Just what I need—another visitor dropping in to add more drama in this difficult time.

"Winter? May I come in?" It was Aiden.

I didn't want to see or talk to anyone, but I let him in. "I overheard some of what was said last night but didn't want to disturb you." He stopped when he saw my anguished look. "Maker's blood, come here," he uttered and caught me in an embrace, literally giving me his shoulder to cry on. I obliged him by weeping all over his nice clean tunic (he was dressed up for the king's visit). It seemed his visit was just what I needed.

When my emotional/hormonal flood was spent, Aiden said, "Can I offer some advice without you ripping my head off?"

"No promises," I answered, backing away from him and going to the basin to wash my face. I must have looked utterly radiant with a red, runny nose and bloodshot eyes.

"You shouldn't be here, Winter. Not that I want to see you leave, and Maker knows I don't relish the idea of making the kind of decisions you've had to make, but with your pregnancy advancing and the danger of another darkspawn attack, which we know is coming soon… I'm worried about you and your baby. As protective as your man is of you, he'll burst an artery when he hears what happened to Amaranthine."

"Everybody's heard about Amaranthine," I sighed. "If news of it reached Denerim, it's reached every bannorn and arling by now." My failure would haunt me for life, I was sure.

"On the subject of the good Arl Teagan, I'm surprised he's alright with you being out here risking your life. If you were my woman, there'd be no way I'd let you go off fighting darkspawn while I sat around in a castle, safe and secure."

"If I were your woman, Aiden, you'd have been dead long ago."

"Yeah? Why's that?"

"Because your jokes would have irritated me so much I would have killed you and blamed it on the darkspawn."

He chuckled. "You're probably right." He grew quiet, and the wheels in his head turned on their squeaky course until he came up with yet another question. "Can I ask you something?"

"You will anyway, so go ahead."

"What's this "eve of battle" stuff I keep hearing about?"

Why hide the story from him? He was the original intended seed donor in Morrigan's scheme. I explained about Morrigan's threefold promise to Alistair in exchange for him impregnating her (the mention of their names linked together brought a scowl to his face). "First, whichever of us killed the archdemon would survive the battle. Second, after the archdemon was killed and her baby absorbed its soul—the soul of the old god—she would leave us and never return. Third, her son would never show up to challenge Alistair for his throne."

"How much bullcrap persuasion does it take to get a man who was still a virgin at age twenty-nine to have sex with a beautiful, seductive woman? One would think he had performance issues but… well, apparently not." He mulled it over. "You know, he mooned over you for months. I tried to get him to make a move, to at least say something to you, but he's as dumb as a rock."

"Alistair's not dumb," I said. "It's a mistake to think he is just because he hides behind lame jokes and cheesy humor. Maybe it's his strategy to throw his enemy off guard."

"And his friends. And everyone he meets. And strangers overhearing—"

"I get it, Aiden. But you're wrong about him."

"I've been wrong before," he shrugged. "About you, for instance."

"What about me?"

He smiled at a memory, savoring it before he shared it, making me wonder what was going through his twisted mind this time. "Do you remember when we first met?"

"Not really. It wasn't… remarkable." Truth be told, I recalled the fight in the alley vividly, and Duncan looking on without so much as an offer of help, but I hardly remembered Aiden being there.

"Exactly my point. When I asked Duncan if he planned to recruit you, you didn't pick up on my desperate hope that he would recruit you."

I scoffed. "Why? Was it my winning personality? My people skills?"

"Oh my dear girl, how little you know of men," he said. "You were, and are, a rare beauty, but you were as cold and unshakable as a glacier. You didn't give me a glance. Your demeanor probably killed those bandits before your swords penetrated their bodies. You froze them to death, or the daggers shooting from your eyes impaled them…"

"Was I that bad?" I knew I was without having to ask. I recalled how bitter I was in those days, and was rather embarrassed over my past behavior.

"You were magnificent!" he said, to my astonishment. "You were the ultimate challenge. Ok wait, I take that back. Maybe Oghren's wife and her lover were the ultimate challenges to a man. But forget about them. You had everything a confident man looks for in a conquest."

"I see. A conquest." I bit back a smile and let him dig himself deeper into this particular trench.

"Oh come on, don't get stuck on one word. Hear me out." I waited, and he went on. "After a while, the easy women become a bore. Not that they're without certain charms, but when they throw themselves at a man, it takes away from his fun. Not men like Alistair, too scared to talk to a woman much less try to seduce her. I mean real men like me. I enjoy the chase almost as much as the catch. With easy women, there's no chase. No pursuit, no challenge. No—"

"Conquest," I finished.

"That's it! Men need challenges; women need flattery and gifts."

I regarded him for a long minute. "Aiden, my dearest friend, with your skewed view of women's wants and needs, I'm surprised you lost your virginity."

"What?" he laughed. "Alright, now you've thrown me off my point. What I was trying to say is that before Morrigan came into our group, I was attracted to you."

"Any port in a storm, eh?"

"Yeah. I mean no! No it wasn't like that. You were a challenge, like I said, but you were mean. Alistair was afraid to approach you even if his bal—even if he were in extreme discomfort in his male parts. You had a killer's glare that fooled everyone but me. I saw right though you (he lied). The chatterbox Leliana was scared of you, and she wanted you baaad."

"Correction: she wanted Morrigan."

"Everybody wanted Morrigan," he said. "But they didn't pursue her like I did." His cockiness dissipated rapidly, as did his smile. "What a stupid, naïve fool I was."

"Don't blame yourself," I soothed. "She purposely set out to ensnare you. From her revealing, whore attire to her aloofness to her I-don't-understand-people routine, Morrigan was your ultimate challenge."

He shook his head in disgust. "I admit she drew me like a fly to dung."

"A fitting analogy."

"I loved her," he said. "She played me, but I was so enthralled by her beauty and—if I may be indelicate—her performance in bed, I was too blind to see what a manipulative bitch she was."

"I take it she lied about rarely leaving the wilds and having little contact with other people."

It was his turn to scoff. "That woman knew more moves than a prostitute, I tell you. I'm not speaking from experience, but, you know, I've heard…"

"Of course."

"I wonder if she used all her tricks on Alistair."

"Does it matter, Aiden?" He was tormenting himself, and for what? If he knew every tiny detail of her night with Alistair, would it change anything? I wondered if he still loved her in spite of his claims to the contrary. "How do you feel about her now? Tell me truthfully."

"Does it matter?" he smiled sadly. Poor fellow; she'd cut him deeply and his wound still bled.

"You're mourning the loss of a person who never existed. She was a fraud."

"I know. You're right. I loved an illusion."

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have mentioned it."

He waved my apology off. "Let's get back to your baby. If he really did absorb this old god soul thing, what's he going to be? A dragon?"

"According to what I was told, he will be a normal child. When he reaches a certain point in adulthood, his body will stop aging and he will become immortal. Or so she said. And he'll have powers of some kind. Not like a mage, but… Oh, I don't understand half of what she said. It was such unbelievable blather."

"That's… weird, for want of a better word. So if I hadn't left to see about Fergus, and if I'd been at Redcliffe Castle that night…"

"You'd be the father of her baby. Her plan would have worked out because, more than likely, there wouldn't have been a second conception that night."

"Alistair gave me a dirty look when I passed him in the hall," he said. "Is it because I used to be with Morrigan? Is he possessive of her? He can have her, and the misery that goes with her."

"No. He thought you were my baby's father until he remembered you weren't there that night."

"There's a thought." His impish smile returned. "If things don't work out with you and old red-beard, you can live with me and Fergus. We'll be uncles to your supernatural dragon-child."

"And I'm sure you'll ask nothing in return."

"Alright, you got me. I might demand some sort of payment…" He stroked his chin beard thoughtfully and gave me a playful leer.

"You do realize you're insulting your commanding officer, don't you?" I said facetiously. He never missed an opportunity for what he considered a good—if inappropriate—joke.

"You could report my insubordination to the king. My mistake; that's right, he's not speaking to you. I thought he and I were friends, but he doesn't like me much either."

"I'll have to speak with him soon, but I'm waiting for him to cool off from his tantrum."

Someone knocked on my door. Aiden raised an eyebrow. "You think it's him?" he whispered.

I shook my head in the negative; as angry as he'd been when he left my quarters, Alistair hadn't had nearly enough time to calm down. It was Eamon. He asked to come in and speak with me.

"I was just leaving," Aiden said, giving a respectful bow to Eamon on his way out.

"Something you need, Regent?" I asked. I didn't know why, but I was on the defensive.

"Chancellor," he corrected me.

Whatever. Fereldan titles don't mean a lot to us Marchers.

"A message from King Alistair," he said. His tone wasn't hostile, but it wasn't dripping warmth either. "You are to take a leave of absence, starting immediately, pending a full investigation into the destruction of Amaranthine."

"Investigation? Who is conducting this investigation?"

"I am, on the king's authority."

"Exactly what do you hope to learn, since you were far away in Denerim when the attacks took place? Do you and the king think you could have saved the city?"

"That is what I'm going to determine, Warden."

Warden. Not Warden-Commander. Just Warden. Alistair demoted me. That smug bastard dropped me down to warden because he apparently thought he could have done a better job. He, who put me in charge when I was a raw recruit, questioned my judgment?

"Where is the king now? I have a few things to say to him."

"I'm sorry, Warden, King Alistair is unavailable to speak to you at this time. After my investigation is complete, I'm sure he will summon you to Denerim to address the topic."

I don't have the words to express how angry I was over this undeserved demotion. Just because Alistair now led the country, did he think he'd grasped a full understanding of leadership? Or that it automatically came with the crown and the fancy throne? He'd hardly led a skirmish prior to the battle for Denerim. He resisted responsibility, and now he snatched up my job and my duties and handed them to Eamon.

"Will you be in charge of the wardens, then?" I asked, barely controlling my temper.

"The king has appointed Ser Bryant as senior warden during this time."

"Bryant? He's a good soldier, but Aiden is senior warden!" I protested.

"Not for the time being, Warden." He moved toward the door to leave. "I recommend you gather your belongings and go home. Your concern should be for your baby."

"Don't tell me what I should be concerned with, Eamon."

His tone softened. "Then do it for Teagan's sake, Winter. He's beside himself with worry for you."

You arse. Teagan is my weakness, and you know it.

"Leave me, please."

"I will. But the king wants you out of the Vigil within the hour."

No hurry, but here's your pack and there's a horse waiting. Why aren't you gone yet?

"Fine. Do me the courtesy of allowing me a few minutes to gather my things."

Aiden returned after Eamon left. He had some sort of sixth sense, knowing when I needed to talk or rant or cry. No tears this time. Just naked rage, which I squelched as best I could, all things considered.

"Huh. The ungrateful bum demoted me," Aiden said. "This king business has gone to his head."

"Thanks for caring."

"He was unfair to you too. That's what I meant."

I was shoving things into my pack as fast as I could, not caring if anything broke. I wanted to put distance between me and those two jerks with the god-complex as quickly as possible. Aiden laid a hand on my shoulder.

"Winter, calm down. Being angry won't change what's been done."

"I know it won't. I'm just so… They talked to me like I was a failure. As if I haven't tried, or done enough, or if I were incompetent—"

"Do you need another hug? I still have the indentation in my middle where your belly pushed it in. Look here." He raised his tunic and sucked his stomach in. "See? Perfect fit."

I laughed in spite of the bitterness inside. "Keep your hug, you idiot. What I need is a drink. Not mead or ale. Something stronger."

"And you can have it. After the baby's weaned."

I hoisted my pack onto my shoulder. "I suppose I'll see you in Denerim, when I'm called in to answer for my negligence."

"I'm going with you," he said. "I won't let you travel all the way to Redcliffe alone."

"Did they appoint you to be my guardian?"

"No. I haven't asked permission. I'm just going."

I was feeling as rebellious as he was. "Good for you. Let's go then."

In the courtyard, we felt it. Darkspawn were near. "Summon the rest of the wardens," I said. My eyes were darting about, looking for the creatures to appear. He passed the order to the private at the entry to the keep, and she rushed inside to gather help. Aiden told the shopkeeps to get to their homes as quickly and quietly as they could, without raising alarm. They scurried off to find shelter. Aiden had his bow ready and I'd drawn my swords.

"They're here, but they're waiting," I observed. "For what? They usually ambush any wardens they see."

"These aren't like normal darkspawn," he reminded me. "They have half a brain between them and they're not afraid to use it."

Varel, Garavel, Eamon, and the wardens, led by Alistair, poured out of the keep. When they did, the darkspawn rushed us, coming from the open gates and materializing out of the ground.

"They're after the king," I called. "Protect him!"

Why in blazes is he risking himself out here? He doesn't have an heir, or even a wife to take the throne should the worst happen. Did he learn nothing from Cailan's death?

The enemy had come prepared to assassinate our leader. There were enough shrieks and hurlocks to overrun the courtyard, but to my relief, no childers. Ordinary soldiers wouldn't have stood a chance against the small horde. We were still few in number and the Vigil's officers weren't wardens. Alistair's tainted blood and darkspawn-fighting experience might be the only thing that would save him this day.

Aiden and Nathaniel's proficiency with the bow took out a large number of the attackers. Anders used his chain lightning spell to knock out several at a time. The rest of us, with our blades, engaged the targets one on one. I kept moving closer to where Alistair was positioned, trying to shield and assist him. Alduin ran between me and Aiden, knocking down assailants and letting out his stun-producing howl, giving us the advantage over them for a few seconds.

Bursts of fireballs hurled groups of the enemy off their feet and set them ablaze. It was Morrigan, who hadn't left after all. For once, I was grateful for her presence. When an armored ogre lumbered through the gates, she pinned it to the spot with a crushing prison spell, and while the beast was incapacitated she flung flaming daggers at it, enough of them to slay the creature before it could do any damage. With their main offensive force dead, the surviving darkspawn retreated or vanished into the ground.

I turned round to see if Alistair had been wounded. He was unhurt, and was checking on the other wardens and Eamon. He glanced in my direction, saw I was uninjured, and went back to his conversation. Since I was no longer needed here, I was again ready to leave. I took three steps, on my way to fetch my horse, before something slammed into my back and sent me flying into the shop area, where I struck the railing, flipped over it, and landed flat on my face in the dirt. I wasn't able to take a decent breath. When I tried to roll onto my back to take the pressure of my body weight off the baby, a lightning bolt of pain shot through me.

I saw people running toward me, but the shortness of breath made me weak and dizzy, and I passed out from lack of oxygen.

Part 2 – Soul Doctor

"I've been kicked in a corner, I'm down in the dirt. I can't feel a thing, But I know it ought to hurt"

~ Foreigner, "Soul Doctor"

Morrigan said to Anders, "Move aside, mage. You don't know what you're dealing with."

"Something foreign," Anders said. "Something about her baby, or about her womb… maybe both. What is it?"

"I don't have time to explain, even if I cared to." Morrigan's hands glided above Winter's body, making small circles over her womb. "The baby is unharmed," she muttered to herself. "I'll see to it that he stays that way. If we can keep the mother from doing anything else stupid before he's born." She said a few words in a strange tongue, closed her eyes and made a fist, then released a ball of energy that caused Winter's midsection to glow for a few seconds before the light faded.

"What kind of spell was that?" Anders was intrigued, but Morrigan ignored him. Even if she'd explained the spell in detail, he couldn't have performed it. It was ancient magic, as ancient as she was, and possible only to her kind. "Who are you, anyway? What are you doing at the keep? Are you a recruit?" Morrigan maintained her silence.

"She's bleeding," Anders pointed out. They turned Winter on her side and saw a point of entry where a crossbow bolt had stuck her. She had dislodged the bolt when she attempted to roll onto her back. Anders healed the wound left by the bolt. It had passed between her organs, doing no serious damage, but a half inch one way or another would have killed her. When he was done, they turned her onto her back again and he passed his hands over Winter's middle. "What have you done to her?" he demanded of the strange woman. "Her womb is… encased? What is it? It feels like a hard but flexible substance… not human. Not remotely human."

Dragon scales. Tiny scales interwoven with tough dragonskin, Morrigan thought. Those would protect the child from injury, and the skin would expand with Winter's womb in her latter months. "Old swamp magic," she said to Anders. "Apostate magic."

"Unlike any I've heard about, and I've studied all sorts of magic." Swamp magic? Apostate? She with either Chaistnd or… Could she be one of Flemeth's many daughters that legend spoke of?

"Not this kind, you haven't." Morrigan stood and spoke with Alistair. "She needs to be removed from this place. These darkspawn attacks will continue until the Mother either succeeds in killing every living person in Amaranthine, or until she is elimimated."

Alistair had heard the term before. "What and where is this 'Mother'?"

Aiden spoke up. "No one really knows, but we suspect it's an evolved broodmother. Another creature we encountered called the Architect created talking darkspawn." Alistair listened while Aiden and Garavel explained what had happened at the silverite mine.

"Then this Mother was created with Grey Warden blood," Alistair mused. "An abomination if I ever heard of one. I want her found and killed whatever it takes. She is the real threat to the arling… what remains of it." He glanced at Winter, still lying unconscious on the ground with Morrigan hovering over her. "First, let's get her to safety. If her child's father survived the war, can I assume he's in Redcliffe?" Speaking those words brought a grimace to his face. The thought of Winter with another man provoked old jealousies he thought he'd buried.

"That is my understanding, Majesty," Eamon answered, before any of Winter's companions could tell anything more to the embittered king.

"If you will permit me, I will escort her to Redcliffe," Aiden offered, no longer able to sneak off as he'd planned. "I pledge my life to save hers, if need be."

"Go with her," Alistair said. "But we'll let her rest in her quarters here tonight, and if she feels up to it in the morning, leave as soon as she's able to travel. If you speak to her child's father, make sure he knows she is not to return to the Vigil."

Aiden responded, "I'll tell him, but I don't think he'll need much convincing."

Eamon glared at Aiden, fearing he'd said too much and Alistair would question the warden about who the father was. The king, however, was too saddened to pursue the truth of the baby's paternity. What did it matter? He realized again that Winter was lost to him for good. She was never his, in fact. How many times would he put himself through the pain of mentally losing her?

Winter's companions gathered around her, discussing how they would carry her to her room without waking her. "Move aside," Alistair commanded. He eased an arm under her neck and the other behind her knees, lifting her as if she were a child. Aiden noticed how he cradled her close to his chest.

"Poor bastard," Aiden mumbled, without irreverence. "He still loves her."

"More than anyone realizes," Eamon agreed. "More than he admits to himself."

Part 3 – Let's Just Kiss and Say Goodbye

I woke with a heavy feeling in my middle, as if I were carrying a stone instead of a baby. It seemed to have gained several pounds overnight, but when I looked down at myself, my belly looked the same as before.

"How are you feeling?" It was Alistair.

"Were you in my room all night?" I asked.

"No. Just for the past hour or so. I was worried about you."

"You've always worried for me," I smiled. "There was no need."

"That bolt you took… It was meant for me. I wouldn't have expected you to step into the path of an arrow, but you saved my life."

It would have made a grand tale of heroism, but that wasn't how it happened. I wasn't thinking "Let me save the king" at the moment. It was more like, "Let me get the blazes out of here."

"I didn't give you a chance to speak yesterday before I stormed out," he said. "Please, have your say. Talk to me like a friend, like we used to be before…"

"I owe you an apology. I didn't believe you when you told me about the ritual. I thought it was an excuse and that she had seduced you like she seduced Aiden. But I was wrong about everything."

"Were you also wrong about the man… the father of your child?"

The pain in his tone was a knife, carving into my heart. I didn't want to hurt him further, but I couldn't lie. "No, I wasn't wrong about him." He closed his eyes and sighed heavily, as if he'd been hoping for a different response. "Alistair, I'm sorry things didn't work out between you and me, as you wanted. I thought I wanted that too. I have always cared for you and will always care, but I'd met him before you and I became close friends. My feelings for you were confused for a long time, and the reason was… You don't really want to hear this, do you?"

"I think I do. Maybe it will give me the finality I need to put this behind me."

"I think the reason I didn't develop romantic feelings for you was because I already had feelings for him. Not that I'd admit to having feelings. You remember how I was… all business, no fun. But, if there's such a thing as a soul mate..." I trailed off, unable to put the last nail in the coffin. I'd caused him plenty enough anguish. No need to drag it out by gushing about my true love.

"I understand. I only hope… Well, he'd better not break your heart."

"I can take care of myself," I said, hoping to lighten the mood. It didn't work.

"Regarding your demotion," he began, "it's not a reflection on your… Actually, yes it was. I was angry because we'd lost Amaranthine, and I blamed you."

We talked for another hour, clearing the air, making amends where possible and forgiving each other's offenses. He allowed me to make recommendations regarding the wardens, and agreed to give Aiden the position of warden-commander on a trial basis, with Bryant as his senior. It was a fair arrangement. We finished on a cordial note, like old times to me, but not so much to him. It was new ground, a level of our friendship he hadn't anticipated but was beginning to accept.

As he used to do on occasion, he gave me a sweet peck on the cheek. What mattered most was that we were friends again.

Our friendship might hit another snag once he learned Teagan was the 'other man'.

"My love, I've missed you terribly," Teagan murmured in her ear. Winter whispered a like sentiment. She had never looked more beautiful, or more fragile, than she did now. Pregnancy enhanced her beauty; loss multiplied her sorrow. He held her close a moment longer, then released her from his embrace and held her at arm's length. "Pregnancy suits you," he observed.

"Don't think I plan on staying this way any longer than necessary," she said.

Teagan shook Aiden's hand in greeting. "Thank you for seeing her here safely."

"I could do no less," Aiden replied with equal courtesy.

"You arrived at a perfect time," Teagan said, steering the topic away from wardens and wars and the disaster of Amaranthine. They would get around to it later, but his guests looked like they were in need of refreshment and rest rather than conversation. He addressed Aiden again, "I have business in Rainesfere tomorrow, but this evening is free and my home is open to you. I trust you'll be staying over before you return to Vigil's Keep?"

"If… Yes, your hospitality is appreciated," Aiden faltered. He wasn't sure what kind of welcome he could expect after the ruckus Oghren had caused last time they were here.

While they dined, Teagan asked about their life at the keep. Winter answered, "By comparison, I have to say our old camp in the wilderness was better."

"What? You'd rather sleep on the ground than in a bed? And being out in the rain and cold and snow with nothing but a thin tent and a small campfire, instead of inside a stone building with a fireplace in every room? You're a lot tougher than I thought," Aiden said.

"It's not the bed or the fires," she said. "I miss the waterfall. I miss being able to come in from an errand or a fight and stepping under the water, armor and all, and I miss going to sleep clean. The keep has one bath. One, in that huge fortress, meant to house dozens of warriors!"

Teagan teased her, "I'm glad you haven't gotten your priorities misaligned, dearest."

"Spoken like a true, spoiled arlessa," Aiden added.

"Sure, make fun of me," she said, pushing away from the table. "You two can have fun at my expense all you want. I'm going upstairs." She said to Aiden, "Don't even think of leaving without saying goodbye."

"Yes, Commander," he answered, then regretted it when he saw the flicker of pain in her eyes. Damn fool, don't you know when to shut up? The flicker was gone as quickly as it appeared. She wasn't her old feisty self, but she was resilient. Instead of her usual sassy comeback, she smiled without comment and let his slip-up pass.

When she'd gone, Teagan asked him, "How is she? I heard about Amaranthine, and I've been anxious for her since we learned of the city's demise. How is she taking it?"

"Not well," Aiden admitted. "She blames herself needlessly. There was nothing she or anyone could have done to save the city."

"And she lost men in the battle?" Teagan asked.

"Yes, two wardens in the battle, and two recruits when we got back to the keep," Aiden finished. He'd said too much again, and he hoped his host wouldn't ask how the recruits died.

The first rule of Grey Wardens is: you do not talk about Grey Wardens.

"Maker," Teagan groaned. "No wonder she's so subdued."

Aiden nodded. "She took her duties seriously. She always has. And she's done more for that old keep in a few months than the Howe's did in generations. King Alistair should have been proud of her, but instead he…" He caught himself before he voiced his outrage over the way Alistair had handled the situation.

Teagan didn't press for more information. Instead, he said, "Whatever happened, I'm sure it will work out, given enough time. Alistair is young and inexperienced, but he's learning quickly and he's a reasonable man."

Aiden changed the subject. He didn't want to think or talk about Alistair and his alleged great qualities. "Thank you for allowing me to stay the night. I was afraid, after what happened the last time I was here, that I wouldn't be welcome."

"Nonsense," Teagan said. "My understanding is that it wasn't your fault. I regret that my reaction seemed harsh, but at the time I thought it an appropriate measure."

"It was fitting. I would have done the same if I were in your position."

"Yes," Teagan mused. "I believe you would. Winter speaks highly of you. She values your friendship. I see her trust is well placed."

"She talks of me favorably, does she?" Aiden said with a cocked eyebrow. "That's good to know. I just might give you a little competition, my lord."

Teagan chuckled at his guest's playful brashness. "I can handle the competition."

"You see whom she chose as her escort," Aiden pointed out.

"Indeed. And you see to whose house she came," Teagan countered.

"Well yes, there's that…" Aiden conceded.

The conversation grew more serious, and the men talked about Amaranthine, the battle, the strange new darkspawn, and the Mother. Having heard the conditions at Amaranthine were far worse than he'd thought, Teagan was glad Winter was out of harm's way.

Aiden was glad Winter had found someone like Arl Teagan. With her here, in his care, he could finally stop worrying about her. Capable and smart as she was, the woman had a knack for getting herself into trouble.

Teagan took off his boots in the hallway and stepped quietly into the bedchamber, hoping not to disturb Winter's sleep. Well, he did want to disturb her, but there would be time for love later. Maybe tomorrow in Rainesfere, her favorite place. She would be rested, he would finish his business quickly, and he would devote his time to her. It was his hope that she would accept his proposal and they could be married before their baby was born.

"Have I told you how much I've missed you?" she said.

"Did you?" He was glad she was awake after all. "No, I don't believe you mentioned it." She had told him, but this was their game. He liked where it was leading.

"Careless of me," she said. Her voice was silky. "Well then, have I told you how much I love you?"

"Not to my recollection," he said. "Perhaps a demonstration is in order?" He threw off his tunic.

"If you want a proper demonstration, I'll need more to work with," she said. She tugged at his breeches. "Those will have to go, too."

We rose early and prepared to leave for Rainesfere, and Aiden left for the Vigil. It was difficult saying goodbye to him, not knowing when or if I would see him again.

"You know me," he said. "It takes more than a few darkspawn and a broodmother to kill me."

His recollection of my words, with his own twist, made me smile in spite of my inner turmoil. Amaranthine was the most dangerous place in Ferelden as long as the Mother was out there. "Steer clear of those tentacles," I warned him. "And for Andraste's sake, watch out for shrieks. I don't have any more ashes to save your sorry arse if you get wounded again."

Teagan and I arrived in Rainesfere before noon. He had a meeting with the nobles scheduled for early afternoon. While he prepared for it, I went into town with one of the housemaids to buy clothing that would fit my growing middle. It felt strange, but strangely good, to be out of armor and into feminine garb. The new outfits were hardly noblewoman's attire, but I had no need for finery. I was accustomed to utility over fashion. My dresses were similar in to those worn by the household staff, if a bit more expensive because of my taste in fabric—a carryover from my days of luxurious living in Starkhaven.

Teagan was in his meeting when I returned to the manor. It would likely continue for hours, so I bypassed the dining hall where he and the nobles were gathered and went upstairs to rest. One would think I'd have been used to carrying about excess weight from my armor and weapons, which I'd laid aside, but still my energy level was low and my belly felt heavy and awkward. I closed the drapes to darken the room, laid across the bed, and was asleep before my mind chose a topic to worry about.

Part 4 - The Master, the Lady, and the Naughty Maid

Teagan's meeting concluded with all the nobles satisfied that their arl was no less concerned for his citizens than when he was their bann and a permanent resident of Rainesfere. They were particularly happy to know he would be returning to the bannorn, living here with his new bride and traveling to Redcliffe for business.

Teagan was pleased too. He loved Rainesfere, but more importantly, Winter loved the bannorn and their home. He would have built her a castle if she asked for it, but she didn't want him to change anything about the manor other than to turn the room nearest their suite into a nursery. He looked forward to starting work on it as soon as possible.

He hadn't approached the subject of marriage with her yet (though he'd hinted to the nobles he was betrothed to the Hero of Ferelden), but he planned to soon, maybe tonight over dinner, or later in the evening. She had about ten weeks until she gave birth, by her estimation, and before she did, he wanted them to be married. Why she resisted the idea perplexed him. They were in love, they were soon to have a family, and he could see no reason for her wavering. There was no other man in her life—of that he was certain. What could—

His steward interrupted his thoughts. "My lord, Lady Adele is here to see you. Shall I show her to the sitting room?"

Adele? What in oblivion is she doing here? I made it clear in my letter that I want nothing more to do with her.

"Show her in, but don't make her too comfortable," he said crossly.

He purposely kept her waiting longer than necessary. Teagan found Adele's intrusion irksome. Surely his letter wasn't vague. He hadn't seen or heard from her since he sent it, and that was well before he became involved with Winter. Why now, of all times, did she have to show up?

When he felt he'd left her waiting long enough, he went to the sitting room. She rose and greeted him as if they'd never parted company, approaching him and trying to kiss him on the cheek like she used to do when they were lovers. Teagan pulled back.

"Oh, I see," she said, but she was unperturbed by his rebuff. "You're uncomfortable with me? I suppose that's to be expected after so long. It's been over a year since we were last together."

Not long enough, he thought. "Perhaps. I haven't kept track, Adele. Why exactly are you here? I'm sure I made it abundantly clear that it was over between us. I meant no communication, no letters, and certainly no visits."

"Oh Teagan, I didn't take your letter seriously," she laughed. "I stayed away because I've been in Orlais for the past months. You know how bad I am about writing letters, so you couldn't have been waiting for a reply. Anyway, I'm on my way home, and I thought I'd stop over and we could catch up."

"Absolutely not," Teagan said firmly. "I meant exactly what I said in my letter. If my wording was too polite and my message too veiled, I'll put it to you plainly. I don't want to see you again, ever, under any circumstances. We had a friendship that was perhaps less than honorable, and you will recall we agreed to a temporary arrangement. The arrangement is over. To be perfectly blunt, you are no longer welcome here, and I'd like you to go at once."

"You're sending me out in the cold?" she said with a fetching pout he no longer found attractive.

"You can find lodging in the village inn, and there's a stable for your horse and carriage."

"Can you let me sit a few minutes, and offer me some refreshment before you cast me off like a stranger?"

She'd appealed to his sense of hospitality, and it worked. He would allow her to stay for a short while and to have one glass of wine, then she was to go without delay. The last thing he wanted was for Winter to walk in on them and assume the worst.

Adele prattled on, and surprised Teagan by her irrational assumption that, in the end, the two of them would marry. He protested that he'd given her no cause whatsoever to have such high expectations. It was purely physical, he reminded her, and a mutual understanding. If she thought otherwise, he wouldn't take responsibility for it.

In truth, though, he did feel responsible to an extent. Sleeping with a woman wasn't a simple physical function devoid of some degree of emotional connection. For him, it was friendship. For her, evidently, it was more.

Maker, why is the staff so slow today? When will that wine be here? I've got to get this woman out of my house!

When I woke it was still daylight. I smoothed my hair and clothes to make myself presentable, and went downstairs to see if Teagan's meeting was over. The dining hall was empty, but from my vantage point I could see the doors to the sitting room were closed. I heard faint voices, and guessed that one or two of the nobles stayed over to talk after the meeting. Through the doors, I could make out Teagan's voice and one more, a woman's voice. He spoke low, in hushed tones as if he didn't want to be overheard. The woman, on the other hand, wasn't so concerned with being quiet. I caught a few words. "…suitable for each other…" and "…we should marry."

Hmm. Sounds interesting…

A maidservant approached with a tray of refreshments for the arl and his guest. I had an idea. A rascally one.

"Here, I'll bring it in," I offered, taking the tray from her hands. She bowed and retreated back to the kitchen. I balanced the tray on one hand and tapped on the door. Teagan bid me enter. He spoke in a gruff tone that surprised me. It was like "Come in," with an implied "damn you" following it.

He didn't turn at my approach, not expecting to see me there. The woman was a noblewoman, quite beautiful, obviously wealthy, bedecked in a costly gown, a gorgeous fur, and adorned with glittering jewels. She hardly cast an eye in my direction, as I was considered a mere servant. I placed the tray on the buffet and brought the lady her goblet of wine. Her eyes took in my face, then my belly, and she dismissed me as unimportant.

"As I was saying, Teagan dear, I was under the impression that you would play the bachelor until you tired of it, but someday you would propose. I wanted freedom to travel, so I was content to wait. But don't you think we've waited long enough?"

"I… Adele, I'm at a loss. I don't know how to say it more plainly than I have already."

I moved near him with his goblet of wine. He took it from my hand absently, not looking up at me, assuming I was the maidservant. "Thank you. That will be all," he said to me (the servant). "Please close the door on your way out, and ask the steward to have the lady's carriage ready. She will be departing in a few minutes."

"Are you sure there's nothing else I can do for you, my lord?" I said in a little girl's tone. He didn't answer immediately because he was surprised I'd asked it. His servants responded to his orders without question.

"He said that would be all," the woman answered for him, vexed by my impertinence. "Now leave us." She waved me off like a housefly.

I ignored her to annoy her further, and said to Teagan, moving into his line of sight, "If my lord desires, I can ready his bath. Turn down his bed?" I crouched in front of his chair, looking up at him with adoring, puppy-dog eyes. "Or perhaps there's something else my lord wishes of me?" To add to the effect, I trailed my fingers across the back of his hand, then let my hand fall to his thigh. Teagan caught on to my prank and fought back a smile by biting the inside of his cheek. His eyes twinkled with amusement. Adele looked on with open-mouthed shock.

When he'd regained his composure, he responded. "In a little while, my sweet, you can do all those things and more. First let me see the lady out."

"Yes, my lord. I'll be waiting to serve you," I purred. I rose slowly, leaning forward so he could see as much cleavage as my modest dress would reveal, skimming the length of my body against his knees.

"You little tease," he snarled, grabbing at me and pulling me into his lap. (And a good thing he did! My "seductive housemaid" routine had a physical affect on him.)

Adele gasped in horror. "Teagan Guerrin! You're diddling your housemaid?"

"Mmm, oh yes," he said. His hands moved over me, suggestively caressing. "She is… quite literally… breathtaking."

"That… that foreign simpleton?" Adele sputtered. "I suppose her bastard child is yours as well? Or is she the harlot of the manor?"

"Oh no, my lady!" I exclaimed in my village-idiot voice with wide, innocent eyes. "Only the master diddles me."

Teagan burst out laughing, unable to keep up the charade any longer. "Adele, I'd like you to meet—" Before he could finish the introduction and explain to Adele we weren't servant and master, she leapt to her feet and fled the manor like her arse was on fire.

"The gossip about this is going to spread all over Ferelden, you know," he said, still chuckling at my audacity.

"I'm sorry," I said sincerely, easing off his lap. "I just got…"

jealous

"…upset with her. She made me feel…"

jealous

"…like I was nothing. It made me so…"

jealous

"…angry. She deserved it."

"That she did," he agreed, rising from his chair. "You're quite the actress, my dear."

"It wasn't all acting," I said with a kittenish smile.

"I believe I owe you an explanation," he said. "Lady Adele…"

"She's your former lover. No need to explain. I know it's over and I'm not jealous."

Noooo, not at all. She's his age, she's beautiful and feminine and cultured and not pregnant…

"Your eyes are flashing fire, and you sound jealous, darling."

"I'm not," I insisted. Too vehemently. Not convincingly. "Alright, yes, I'm a little jealous of her. And I resent her calling my baby a bastard." He was, technically, but the word offended me.

"I'm sorry you were subjected to that, my love. I wrote her long before we became involved and ended it. Once I fell in love with you, the though of anyone else repelled me." He took me in his arms. "Why don't we put an end to any doubt between us, and give our baby the legitimacy he deserves? Let's get married."

What was I waiting for? Why put him off? There was nothing else I wanted from life than to live with this man I adored and to raise our child together.

Because he doesn't know about the taint. Or the soul of the old god. Or the hellish life he might be stepping into with those simple but binding marriage vows.

"Soon, perhaps," I answered with a heavy heart. "First, we need to discuss a few things. Then we'll see if you still want to marry."