Chapter 4
Songs I was listening to while writing: This is Gospel by Panic! At the Disco, I Don't Love You by My Chemical Romance, My Life for Hire by A Day to Remember
Scorpius's POV:
"I need to talk to you."
I was overcome by a sudden urge to throw up again. Or run to my room and lock the door. I wasn't sure why. Rose was several inches shorter than me and significantly smaller in muscle mass. Still, she was about ten times smarter than me. I realized she was looking at me expectantly and I brought my fingers up to my hair.
"What did you want to say?" I asked, fighting to keep my voice from breaking. She shifted uncomfortably on her feet and I stupidly reached over the bar to pull out a stool.
"Have a seat, please." I said. She bit her lip and gave the stool a look like it had done her a great personal wrong. Still, she crossed the room and sat down, her posture unnaturally straight. For something to do, I brought my glass of whiskey up to my mouth and sipped deeply.
I noticed she hadn't changed into more comfortable clothes. The navy blue robes of the ministry were slightly too big for her little frame which made my chest squeeze. She set the stack of papers down on the bar top and folded her hands in her lap. After a few seconds of stretched out silence, she reached out a hand and began to fiddle with a salt shaker on the counter, not meeting my eyes.
"I wanted to establish exactly where we are in terms of our acquaintance with one another." She said very fast. She seemed to deflate as the words left her. I struggled to wrap them around my head considering they sounded more like something she had written for her ministry report than a conversation.
"Our acquaintance…?" I trailed off. Rose opened her mouth, probably to snap at me for not understanding, and then closed it. For what was probably the first time in a long time, words had failed her.
"This is stupid." She mumbled. She brushed a piece of her hair that had fallen in front of her face back and looked up at me. I braced myself for what I would see when I finally got to really look at her. I expected a flood of memories to come rushing back like my sixth year of Hogwarts was being played on a projector in front of me.
The reality was worse. Rose's guard was completely up. All emotion was wiped from her face. I wondered if someone could look as defeated as she did or if the alcohol was messing with my mind.
"Scorpius," She said. Her voice speaking my name snapped me out of my internal panic. "I know we haven't talked since…" She trailed off.
"Since the break-up." I supplied. She nodded slowly, her eyes unmoving on mine. Then she returned her attention to the salt shaker. It seemed like it was easier for her to talk to me when she wasn't looking at me. I didn't blame her. Even beside the fact that I had definitely broken her heart, I probably looked like shit at the moment.
"And I know since then you've gotten closer to the family. I'm really happy for Al that he found such a good friend in you. But it also made it so that you're around more and it makes it hard to pretend nothing ever happened."
She glanced up at me as if to make sure I was following along. I was reminded of study sessions with her in the stuffy Hogwarts library and nodded like I used to when I wanted her to keep talking. I had rarely actually been listening back then. More often than not, I was distracted by something on the table or the way Rose looked when she was deep in concentration. Now, I felt more alert than ever. Just the fact that she was talking to me made me want to hit my sixteen year old self over the head with one of the screaming books in the Restricted Section.
"So, today, when Dom told me you were hurt, I couldn't be there when you woke up because I knew I would have to say something to you and…" She looked frustrated, like she wasn't used to being caught up in her sentences. "…well, what do you say to someone who broke your heart?"
I winced but I was glad she was being blunt. I deserved it. Even though I never stopped calling myself an array of names that would make my mother die of shame from what I did to Rose, it would never be enough to punish myself. I opened my mouth to say something— though I didn't know what the hell I would have said— but again, Rose cut me off.
"I just wanted to say that after hearing that you were hurt, I thought what if you never woke up? What if you had died?" And suddenly, it looked like Rose was going to cry. Merlin, I was shit at this. I had somehow caused Rose to cry without even stringing two words along.
"If you had been more seriously hurt, we might have never been able to make things right. And that's what I came to do. I want to make sure we're on the same page." She took a deep breath and sat back in the stool. I realized she was probably waiting for me to pick up where she had left off.
"Er… right. Exactly what page are you on?" I sounded like an idiot. Amazingly, this made Rose giggle slightly and I relaxed. I had forgotten how easy it was to make her laugh.
"Well, the silence is rubbish. It's not doing anyone any favors. I miss Albus and I don't get to see him very often because we never wanted to bring any awkwardness around the three of us."
"So we're friends, then?" I asked. Rose looked a little startled. Maybe she had been aiming for more of a civil agreement allowing small talk and not making Al feel like a peacemaker. But then a small smile grew on her face, making her freckles stand out.
"We're friends." She said. I went to take a last sip of my drink, not even realizing I had drained my glass minutes before. Awkwardly, I set the glass down on the counter and leaned back against the fridge.
"How are you feeling?" She asked. She was looking straight at me, which made me feel a little under pressure. I let out a breath it felt like I had been holding for a year and allowed myself to relax. Rose wasn't here to confront me. She was here to make things right, something I still hadn't been able to do even though I was the one that had turned everything to shit in the first place.
"I'm fine." I said. "I mean, I'm still a little nauseous but there aren't any scars. The Healers did a good job." Talking about St. Mungo's made me think about my father again and I shook my head, trying to ignore the image of his letter in my room.
"What's the matter?" Rose asked. She sounded hesitant. Maybe we needed to take things slower. Start with small sentences and work our way up. But the more I absorbed the fact that she was really here, sitting in front of me in my own flat, the more I realized I wanted to talk to her. I wanted to tell her everything.
"My father paid for my room." I said slowly. She looked confused.
"Is that a bad thing?"
"I haven't talked to my father in a few months." Now, Rose looked really confused.
"Why haven't you—?" She was cut off by a loud crack. Both Rose and I jumped as Al appeared in the middle of the room, Giselle on his arm.
"Evening," Al said with a stupid grin on his face. I could tell he had had a few drinks. "How are two out of my three favorite people?" He winked at Giselle and she giggled. Even though she was gripping his arm, I could tell she was the more sensible of the two at the moment. Merlin knows how Al actually managed to Apparate them both back to the flat without getting lost on the way.
"We're fine, Al." Rose said. I could tell she was trying not to laugh. "But I should get going. Dom wants to cook dinner for both of us at home."
Some part of me wanted to ask Rose to stay. It had been too long since we'd talked properly. I hadn't realized how much I needed it until now. I felt more calm than I had been in ages and now the source of that feeling was about to walk out my door.
"It was good talking to you, Scorpius." Rose said. She smiled at me, a real genuine smile that almost knocked me to the floor, and pressed a kiss to Al's cheek as he tripped over his own feet to give her a hug goodbye. Giselle watched from the hall, waving politely at Rose when she left through the door and then shooting me a glance once we heard that Rose had Apparated.
"That's the girl, isn't she?" Giselle asked excitedly. I must have looked as confused as I felt. Looking over at Al, I saw he had a guilty grin on his face. He unsteadily climbed into a stool and Accio'd the second bottle of whiskey across the countertop to him.
"Giselle, did you say you wanted a shower?" Al said, speaking to his glass as he stirred his drink with his wand. Giselle turned red and sent me an apologetic look.
"When I get out, we're talking about her." She said firmly. Feeling a bit like my mother had scolded me for something and a bit like slapping Al if only for the satisfaction I might get, I watched Giselle turn the corner to Al's room and disappear.
"You told her about me and Rose?" I snapped, glaring at Al as soon as the sounds of the shower kicked in. Al drained a good third of his glass before coming up for air.
"I barely had to tell her anything. Girls have a sixth sense about those kinds of things. All I had to do was mention Rose's name and she knew." He snapped his fingers clumsily to emphasize his point and I huffed out a sigh. Whatever Giselle knew about my old relationship with Rose would have to be worked out later. I was exhausted from the day.
"You know, you really are my three favorite people." Al hiccupped. I shook my head with a smirk. Drunk Al was almost always a sappy Al. "You, Rose, and Giselle. You lot are just…"
What we were exactly, I didn't find out. Al drained the rest of his glass and began pouring himself another one. He scrunched his eyebrows together like he was deep in thought.
"Maybe I should include James in there. I mean he's my brother, right?" He said concernedly.
"Solid point, mate."
"And then there's Lily." Al went on. "And maybe Fred." He looked up from his drink and beckoned me to come closer like he had a secret.
"Scorp," He hissed excitedly. I leaned in toward him, rolling my eyes. "I have a big family."
"Yeah, mate, you do. I knew that already." I tried not to laugh as Al hiccuped.
"But you three," He placed a hand on my shoulder and looked me in the eyes. I tried to keep a straight face for him. "You three mean everything to me." And with another hiccup Al swayed almost off his stool, barely steadying himself by gripping the counter. I sighed impatiently and went to pour myself another glass of whiskey knowing that if I was destined to spend the rest of my evening dealing with Albus and listening to Giselle's questions, I would need something only slightly less effective than having Rose around in keeping me calm: my familiar, inebriated state that left no pain.
I found that talking to Rose again had left a more lasting impression than I thought it would. The day after she had come to see me, I couldn't keep still. Al promptly sat on me to stop my bouncing knee while we studied for Auror exams and threatened to jinx my fingers off if they wouldn't stop drumming against the table. I couldn't help it. Rose was like a drug to me and I was coming out of a long dry spell.
Despite my need to see her again, I wasn't able to talk to her until we were back at the Ministry after seeing off those of the Potter-Weasley family that were still in Hogwarts after the Hogwarts Express took off on September 1st.
"Why the fuck," Al grumbled, rubbing the back of his head with a scowl on his face. "Did Lily get to hit me with Fred's broom and Mum didn't even bat an eye?" On his left, Dominique scoffed and flipped her blonde ponytail around as if she was offended.
"Because you were making fun of her and her boyfriend and you deserved it!" She practically shrieked. I stifled a laugh as Al lamented his defense.
"I only told her if she and that bloke Will were going to be together, Fred would be reporting to me monthly— ouch!" Dom had taken her bag and swung it against Al's side. Next to me, Rose let out a laugh she had apparently been holding in. I smiled down at her, glad she was focused on Dom and Al's spat so that she couldn't see the stupid grin on my face.
Her eyes flitted up to mine and I was too late to look away. She smiled at me and I let out a deep breath, reaching my hand up to my hair and ruining what I had spent ten minutes combing out this morning.
"I'm so glad you two are friends again. It's exhausting trying to spend time with two people when they won't even look at each other." Dom sighed happily. I tripped over my own feet and was able to catch a glimpse of Rose's now violently blushing face. Even after all this time, I still wasn't used to Dom's easy way of saying things most other people would keep to themselves.
After we left Rose at the entrance to the Improper Use of Magic offices and Dom tagged along with her to say hi to her Aunt Hermione, Al flashed a crooked grin and wiggled his eyebrows annoyingly.
"What?" I asked.
"You and Rose. Friends again." He said, sticking his hands in his pockets. The obnoxious smile was still on his face and I lightly pushed him.
"Yeah, we're friends. What's your point?"
"Have you talked to your dad?" I stopped walking, nearly running into a little wizard hurrying in the opposite direction with a heavy looking bag. Al, realizing he was walking by himself, spun around and sent me a questioning look.
"What's wrong?" He asked.
"Nothing," I lied. My mind was with the letter still stuffed in my sock drawer from my father. I thought of Rose's trusting smile when we had locked eyes earlier and I knew that I didn't deserve her. I hadn't even tried to speak to my father again since the disastrous attempt the first time and now that she was back in my life, I knew it was imperative that I did.
"Let's just go." I said, dragging my feet to meet up with Al and continue to the Auror Headquarters.
An hour and a half later found me, Al and Dom in front of oversized brass cauldrons in a small room that smelled like a potion experiment gone wrong. Teddy stood in front of us with his hands folded behind his back. It was comical to see him in his Auror robes and professional posture when his hair was an even brighter shade of blue today than normal. He cleared his throat and I forced myself to pay attention.
"I hope you lot had a good weekend. You're going to be busy for the next month with what's in front of you." He gestured to the cauldrons and I peered curiously into mine. It was just as empty as it had been only minutes ago when we had entered the room after hasty examination preparations. Teddy chuckled as Al and Dom mirrored me, each of us coming up with expressions of confusion.
"You all know that Aurors have to be able to brew potions when needed and identify any potion on instinct by smell, color, taste and obviously, effects. This next month, you're going to be brewing an old Auror's favorite: Polyjuice potion."
I glanced over at Al and saw that he was already looking at me. I must have looked as worried as I felt because he mouthed something that was probably meant to be encouraging. If I was any good at reading lips, it might have made me feel better. Still, I turned back to Teddy feeling as empty as my cauldron. Potions was my absolute worst subject at Hogwarts and now that I was faced with it again so soon into the training, I didn't know if I'd be able to handle it.
"I realize none of you have probably ever been familiar with this exact potion. You've heard of it, I'm sure, and possibly you've seen it before in your NEWT level Potions classes. Still, I doubt one of you three have used it." Teddy furrowed his brow. "Am I wrong?"
"No," Al said. He glanced over at me and Dom with an unsure expression and I shrugged. I'd never needed to use Polyjuice potion before. It looked like something I might make if I ever tried cooking in the future. "Why? Have there been trainees who've used it before?"
Teddy laughed. "Your dad Albus, and Ron Weasley. They skipped training of course after the war but they hardly would have needed it." He smiled genuinely and Al laughed, albeit uneasily. I figured it was the feeling that he needed to live up to his dad that had caused his face to turn a light shade of red. We had talked about it before. It looked like I would be having a heart to heart with Al when we got home and Merlin knew I didn't need another one after Rose.
Teddy set us to starting our potion and we rifled through our many strange ingredients hesitantly. The page of instructions in front of us was so complicated it might as well have been written in Mermish. I struggled to make out the tiny, cramped writing as we started adding ingredients to our cauldrons. After twenty minutes, the room was filled with an even worse smell and the sound of faint bubbling. Dom was farther along than both Albus and I and Teddy leaned over her cauldron to inspect the contents. I was about to pull my hair out in frustration— my potion wouldn't turn the muddy brown color the page called for— when the door to the room opened and a lavender memo soared through the air, looped once impressively, and landed in my cauldron.
I almost expected the potion to do something but it sat in the cauldron, simmering slightly while the memo floated on top, apparently impervious to getting wet. I glanced up at Teddy who was now staring at me and my cauldron in confusion.
"Scorp, what are you waiting for? Pull it out." Al mumbled. I huffed out a sigh and reached into my cauldron, grasping the end of the memo with my fingers carefully so as not to touch the potion and unfolding it.
To Mister Scorpius Malfoy, Auror Trainee, in the Auror Headquarters
7:54 on September 1st
Scorpius,
I request that you come to my office in the next half hour. I have business I must speak with you about. If your Trainer denies you leave, remind him/her I have donated generously to the Department in the past.
Signed Draco Malfoy,
Wizengamot Official
Order of Merlin, Third Class
I realized I had been holding my breath while reading and I let out the air slowly, allowing myself to calm down before I did something stupid like kicking over my cauldron just to let out my frustration
"Scorpius," Teddy said in a steady voice. He was holding out his hand to me. "Let me see the memo, please."
I dropped the memo in his palm, bringing a hand up to my face once he had taken it and closing my eyes. In less than a minute, I was sure I was about to get kicked out of the Academy for having the most pompous ass of a father there ever was.
"It sounds like your father needs you." Teddy said in a slightly surprised tone. He looked pissed. Dom gasped and Al opened his mouth to say something but I shot them both a look that hopefully read "Not now," and they sat back in their seats.
"Scorpius, I realize this isn't your fault. But I feel like I have to let you all know I almost wasn't given you as a group. We aren't supposed to be biased when it comes to our trainees and if I let you go, it won't look good." Teddy didn't look angry at me but the tips of his electric blue hair were turning red. "This is the one time I'll let this happen and you can tell your father I mean one time."
"I don't have to go, I can—"
"Just go see what he wants quickly and come back as soon as he's finished." Teddy said. He gave me a smile but it didn't reach his eyes and I could tell he was stressed out. He had a toddler and an important job hanging over him and I was definitely not making it easier for him. I stood up uneasily from my chair and left the room without looking back at Al or Dom.
I pushed my way through the chaotic Auror office and found myself back in the winding halls of the Department. Blindly, I followed the path I had taken the last time I had tried to talk to my father and found myself back at the desk with his secretary.
She didn't look up right away and I cleared my throat uneasily. It took a few more seconds for her to raise her head. I thought she might remember me, but the blank look on her face told me otherwise.
"Mister Malfoy will see you in." She said, as bored as ever. She looked back down at her work, lazily waving her hand in a gesture for me to leave and continuing to watch a quill scribble something in curly writing onto another memo with my father's stamp. I stuffed my hands in my pockets and walked past her desk to the door with the silver plaque. I reached a hand out to the doorknob and faltered.
My father was behind this door. My father whom I hadn't seen in months now had invited me to his office like it was normal and managed to insult the Auror Department while doing so. I considered blasting the door off its hinges with my wand and making a real entrance. It seemed the thing to do when I was the rebellious, estranged son. Resisting this fantasy, I forced myself to grasp the doorknob, open the door, and walk calmly in before I could consider turning around and bolting in the other direction.
"Scorpius," my father said. I hadn't expected him to be ready and waiting for me. He was sitting at his desk, his hands folded in front of him and his back straight against the black, plush cushions on his chair. "Close the door please, and take a seat."
I blinked slowly, processing my father's casual greeting. Awkward seconds passed before I closed the door and released my tightened grip on the handle. I crossed the room to sit in the smaller, wooden chair in front of the desk and sat down. My father hadn't moved. His eyes flitted over me for a few seconds like he was examining me under some kind of magnifying glass. I didn't think I had changed at all physically since he last saw me.
"You've grown out your hair." He said, breaking the silence and evidently proving me wrong. This snapped me out of my frozen confusion and I ran a hand through my hair, noting that it was longer than usual.
"I haven't had time to get it cut." I mumbled. He smirked slightly and for a second, it was like looking in a mirror. The same light blonde hair, the same eyes, the same jawline. I wished my mother were here so I could keep telling myself I wasn't like my father. It was hard to believe that when I looked just like him.
"And I see there are no scars left from the curse." He said. He sounded like he could have been negotiating business with me by the now professional tone of his voice. I couldn't keep the annoyed look off my face and he noticed, his knuckles whitening as his hands clasped together more tightly.
"I'm fine." I said. "Thanks for paying for the room."
My father nodded stiffly. "You are my son. I wouldn't think of sparing you the best care even during this standoff,"
"Why did you want me here?" I blurted out. In the past, I never would have spoken over my father but now that I was really here, sitting in front of him, it felt like all the anger and intensity of the problems my father had caused me were rushing out from behind a broken barrier.
My father didn't look surprised that I had snapped. He pushed the chair away from his desk and stood up, brushing down the front of his plum-colored robes and taking his wand from his desk.
"I'd like you to follow me, Scorpius." He made his way to the door, his robes billowing behind him. It felt like my legs had suddenly turned to lead and wouldn't let me get up to go after him, but I wasn't sure I even wanted to. I didn't care what my father had to show me. I had other business with him.
"Scorpius," He said in a low voice. "That wasn't a request." I tightened my grip on my wand, wishing I could take something off his desk and smash it against the wall if only for some sense of control. Swearing under my breath, I pushed myself up off the chair and followed him out the door.
My father was the same height as me, but somehow he was able to cover longer strides than I was. I was hurrying to keep up with him while he made a beeline straight out of his office and past his secretary's desk. She looked up, apparently surprised to see my father out of his office. I glanced back at her and she raised one heavily stenciled brow at me in confusion.
"Scorpius," My father said again. He was far ahead of me, waiting at an ornate wooden door. I turned away from the secretary and fast-walked to meet my father.
"Behind this door, are the offices of some people I'd like you to meet. These are all Wizengamot officials. Keep in mind that they all answer to me."
My father pushed open the door and stepped inside, me following after reluctantly. I expected a scene almost identical to the Auror Headquarters; memos flying everywhere, witches and wizards running back and forth with reports and information. Instead, the large room was quiet and filled with desks and dividers. A witch or wizard in the same plum robes as my father sat at each desk, either scribbling away on long rolls of parchment or examining files thicker than the heavy books Rose used to check out in the Hogwarts library.
I glanced over at my father, standing tall in front of an office of people who made their living off of him. He worked a confident smile onto his face and I followed him as he strode over to the first desk on our left. A middle-aged witch with short blonde hair was working here and she jumped at the sight of my father.
"Mister Malfoy!" She squeaked. She threw her parchment and quill none too gently onto her desk and stood up, smoothing down her robes.
"A pleasure to see you, Nora." My father said. "How is the McClellan report coming along?"
Nora blushed slightly, again making me think of Rose. Merlin, I wished she was here right now. I felt like any second I was going to lose my composure and punch my father in the face. I knew what he was trying to do.
"It's alright, sir. I should be able to deliver it to your desk by four this afternoon, if that's not too late?"
"Not at all too late." My father said, his smile unnerving paired with his cool tone. He nodded at Nora and headed off to another desk. Nora looked at me and started as if she had forgotten I was there.
"So, sorry! I didn't even introduce myself. I'm Nora Harbury." She shook my hand quickly. "You look very much like your father."
I tried to smile, but it probably looked more like a grimace. "Thank you. Sorry we interrupted your work." Before Nora could say anything else or fall into a puddle on the floor, I walked away.
My father strolled up and down the aisles of desks and workers, pointing out names every so often and giving courteous waves whenever someone noticed him. After we had seen every worker in the room, my father beckoned for me to follow him to the door that led to the lifts.
We filed into an empty lift which shot down the minute the golden doors closed. I didn't look at my father as we stood there in a silence so thick, I could practically touch it. I already knew he was taking me down to Level 10 to see the courtrooms. I had been on to his plan since he called me to his office.
"What do you think?" He asked quietly. The lift rattled to a halt only one floor down and two wizards with thick beards and thicker rolls of parchment shuffled in. They nodded at my father and pressed themselves against the back of the lift.
"About what?" I mumbled to my father, aware the bearded wizards were watching us. My father raised an eyebrow and turned to look at them. Immediately, they turned away from us and spoke in hurried whispers.
"About my department. Would you say you think it runs smoothly?"
I sighed before answering. This ride would be a long one. "I'm sure it's as smooth as ever. You've shown me your department before."
"You're a young man, now. You know what an office should really look like. The opinion you had when you were little hardly matters now."
"Do you hear yourself?" I demanded. I was trying to keep my voice down but there was an edge to it and I knew my father had detected it. The lift stopped again and the two wizards in the back filed out. My father waited until the doors had closed again and we were alone.
"Scorpius, I'm not trying to offend you. I asked you here because I want you to see what your choices are."
"Don't you think I know that? You've told me a thousand times what my choices are but I don't think you've ever really wanted to give me choices." I felt the words tumbling out of my mouth, unable to stop. My father shifted uncomfortably but kept his cool posture.
"I won't pretend I suddenly approve of your decision to work in the Auror office. But I will respect it, if that is what you've found your calling in."
I laughed, surprising my father and myself. "You'll respect it? Then why did you take me out of my training to show me around an office I've seen before?"
The lift doors opened again and an old witch entered the lift, standing between me and my father. She didn't look up from a memo she was holding very close to her face until my father cleared his throat. Startled, she too moved to the back of the lift.
"I know you don't like what I've chosen to do with my life. But it's my life. I want to be an Auror. I like living with Albus because he's my best mate which clearly doesn't make a difference to you."
"I thought that Hayden boy was your friend." My father said in a matter of fact tone, his brows furrowed.
"You hate Hayden and his parents." I said. "And I know you hate the Potters too."
"I don't hate the Potters, Scorpius. Please try to remember where we are right now." His eyes darted from the witch in the back to me. I smirked, unable to keep myself from the familiar action when I was hearing complete bullshit.
"I think I'm done here." I said. The lift came to a stop again on the atrium and the witch trotted out, me following.
"Scorpius!" My father snapped. He didn't follow me out of the lift and I didn't look back. I heard the doors close behind me before walking forward, not caring where I was going. The atrium wasn't very busy with scattered groups of witches and wizards here and there. They glanced at me as I practically ran across the length of the main floor, past the giant fountain and down a side corridor where I knew there was another set of lifts. I didn't want to take the chance that I might run into my father again.
I punched the button for Level Two with my thumb and leaned back against the cool gold walls of the lift. I didn't want to think about my father ever again. Even just the short meeting I had had to endure was enough to remind me why I hadn't returned to the manor since I'd been kicked out. While the lift rode noisily up through the Ministry, Rose's face flashed across my mind. I mentally kicked myself. I hadn't even thought to bring her up with my father.
I barreled out of the lift as soon as the doors opened on Level Two and fast-walked straight to the Auror Headquarters. I pushed past the Aurors still on their feet in the Department that couldn't be more different from my father's and finally found the room with Teddy. Ignoring Al's and Dom's questioning looks when I came in, I sat down in front of my cauldron and went to reading the instructions in my book. Teddy looked up from where he was helping Al and evidently decided I didn't need to be talked to.
I pushed Rose and my father out of my mind, focusing on what was in front of me. I was here in the Auror office doing what I had chosen to do, not what my father had mapped out for me. Still, the dirt-black, gooey concoction in my cauldron reminded me of the mess my life currently was and I took a deep breath, plunging into my work and blocking out everything else.
"Stupid," I muttered to myself. "Fucking great."
For the third time in what had been only a couple of months in the Ministry, I was turning down the corridor into my father's department. I passed by witches and wizards leaving for their homes at the end of the work day and ignored their curious looks. I knew what they were thinking. I knew they were glancing back at the Department, wondering why Draco Malfoy was out and about in the Ministry and wearing Auror robes.
I stopped at my father's secretary's desk with some sense of relief that what I came for would be over soon. Again, she was looking down and packing a shiny purple purse with her belongings. She was leaving for home too and I cleared my throat, hoping she would be cooperative for once.
"I'm sorry. Mister Malfoy doesn't admit visitors after five p.m. Please schedule an appointment for tomorrow." She fired off in a voice like a recording that had been playing the same message for years.
"I just need my badge. I dropped it in here when I was with my father earlier." I said. She looked up at me and pursed her lips.
"Are you here to see your father, Mister Malfoy?"
"No," I said probably too quickly. "No, please don't tell him I'm here."
She rolled her eyes. I bit the inside of my cheek to keep from yelling.
"You've been here an awful lot lately." She rattled on, opening a drawer in her desk and sifting through several quills, ink bottles, and nail polishes before pulling out my badge.
"No, I haven't." I pressed. I held out my hand for the badge and she dropped it into my palm.
"See you tomorrow, Mister Malfoy. Have a good evening." The recording voice was back but she was smiling slightly. She reminded me of a cat playing with its prey. There was a glint in her eyes that told me she was having fun harassing me. I stuffed the badge in my pocket and forced a smile at her.
"No you won't, and I hope you enjoy your evening too." I turned away and left before she could say something else but I could hear her laughing behind me.
"Scorpius?" A female voice came from behind me as I made my way down the corridor. For a moment, I thought it was my father's secretary but it only took me seconds to tell myself that was stupid and that Rose was the one behind me.
I turned to see her practically jogging down the hall to catch up with me. There were two heavy books in her arms and the right side of her robes had fallen down her shoulder. Still, she was smiling brightly.
"Are you leaving?" She asked breathlessly. She readjusted the books in her arms.
"Yeah, I am. Do you need help with those?" She glanced down at the books as if she'd forgotten she was struggling to hold them.
"Oh, no. I'm fine." She smiled again. I really wished she wouldn't because it was throwing my balance off. I smiled back at her stupidly.
"You look like you're really enjoying the internship." I said. I wanted to pinch myself because I knew we were past small talk. Or at least we could be if I wasn't such a certified idiot.
"I love it," She said. "It's so interesting and I've really learned a lot about the way the Department works…" She trailed off and blushed slightly.
"What?" I asked, smirking.
"I'm probably boring you. Sorry." She laughed breathily. "I just wanted to say hi. But I actually do have to get going, I could stop by later if you wanted to catch up? I haven't seen Albus properly in a couple weeks."
My mind stopped working after she asked if she could come over. I shook myself out of my stupor and realized she was waiting for a response.
"Yeah, yeah of course you can come over. He'll be happy to see you." I stumbled over the words but managed to get them out. "Do you want to share a lift?"
She smiled at me but glanced behind her shoulder. "I'd like to, Scorpius, but I'm waiting for Luke."
The fog in my head dissipated and I felt the floor sliding out from under me. Of course she was waiting for Luke. Of course this was how this day was meant to end.
"Yeah, no problem. I'll see you later." I said. I waved at her and turned away before I could say something stupid.
I entered the lift feeling completely defeated. I definitely wasn't ready to be normal around Rose yet or my father. I probably wasn't even ready to be out in public and functioning, let alone trying to pass through an extremely grueling training program. I rubbed my eyes and told myself I deserved a drink when I got home if I was going to come back tomorrow. When I took my eyes away from my hand, I wasn't alone.
"Binny!" I started; flattening myself against the wall and feeling the effects of my temporary shock fade away. Binny was sitting on the golden railing that ran around the length of the lift, his big brown eyes focused on me.
"Binny is sorry if he startled Master Scorpius!" He squeaked, jumping down from the golden railing. "Binny only meant to find Master Scorpius alone to deliver a message from Mistress Astoria."
I tried to process Binny's words as the lift lowered down without a stop for the first time all day. "Er, what does she say?"
Binny cleared his throat and stood up straight. "Mistress Astoria says: Come home, please."
I waited but Binny seemed to be done.
"Is that all?"
"That's all Mistress Astoria said when she requested Binny give Master Scorpius a message." The lift shuddered and stopped, the doors opening out onto the Atrium. I glanced at Binny who didn't seem to notice that we were about to step out. He followed me as I headed into the Atrium and fast walked straight to one of the fireplaces. I was already attracting some weird looks from the people in the lobby as I made my way along the marble floor, a house elf tottering after me.
"Binny," I said, slightly out of breath. It felt like I had been running everywhere today. "My mum knows I can't come home. My father banned me. And I live with Albus now. We pay rent for a flat, I can't just leave."
"Mistress Astoria knows this, Master Scorpius!" Binny piped up from somewhere around my knees. "She only wishes Master Scorpius would consider stopping by the manor and saying hello. She told Binny this in confidence but Binny thinks that Master Scorpius should know that Mistress Astoria misses him very much, sir!"
We finally came to an empty fireplace and I stepped inside, knowing Binny would surely follow me. I was right. Binny followed me all the way back from the Leaky Cauldron to the alley way where I Apparated to the flat, Binny's little fist clutching onto the hem of my robes. The whole way he talked about my mum, bringing a familiar feeling of guilt to my chest. I hadn't forgotten about my mum, after all. I wasn't that much of a shit son.
"Binny, I've had a long day and this isn't the best time to think about my parents." I pressed on. We were standing at the door to my flat, me waiting to see if Binny would make like he usually did and Dissaparate at my request. He looked up at me with his big eyes, unnerving me slightly. I sighed and opened the door.
"Watch it!" Someone yelled from the other side. A boy with spiky blonde hair passed by, shooting me a glare. A drink in his hands had dropped to the floor and he bent down to repair the broken glass. I stood dumbfounded, wondering who the hell was in my flat, when Al's voice carried over from the kitchenette.
"Scorp, come here!" He was behind the bar, an assortment of liquor in front of him as he poured different things into mismatched glasses and coffee mugs. Giselle was leaning against the fridge, smiling apologetically at me as I came over in a stupor.
"Al, what the hell is going on?" I demanded once I got my voice back. I looked around for Binny but it seemed the commotion had scared him off. I almost missed him compared to what I had come home to.
"It's a party!" Al replied in a half-yell.
"I can see that." I pressed a fist against my forehead, resisting the urge to jinx Al into oblivion.
"Come on, Scorp. It's just some fun. Me and the other trainees were talking after training and we all need to let loose. We have the first round of our exams soon!"
"And that's why we need a party in my flat?"
Al sent me a look and I took a deep breath to calm myself. "It's my flat too, Scorp." He said, turning back to the drink he was currently preparing. "And I wanted to have a party. I'll owe you a favor later just please, help me host?"
"Why can't Giselle help you host?" I grumbled. Giselle smiled at me and shook her head quickly.
"She doesn't live here." Al said matter-of-factly. He looked up from his drink, his face lit up like he finally realized what a prick he was. He turned to Giselle. "Do you want to move in with me?"
I was too stunned to say anything while a now surprised-looking Giselle and a stupidly grinning Albus ducked their heads together in whispers. There was a crash in the bathroom and I instinctively grabbed my wand before realizing it was just Terrence Mabery.
"Sorry!" He poked his head out of the bathroom doorway. In his hands were shards of glass. "Didn't realize this picture was there! I'll fix it!"
"People are fucking breaking things Al," I groaned. "Did you really think—" But when I turned back to Al and Giselle, they were invested in a much more personal activity than talking. Al flashed a finger at me while still kissing Giselle and I rolled my eyes, heading toward the bathroom to help Terrence repair the damage.
"Sorry again, Scorp. I didn't mean to hit it; I just turned around and…" He trailed off. "You have a small bathroom."
I sighed, flicking my wand lazily at the broken glass while Terrence smoothed out a crease in the photograph before the pieces flew back together.
"No offense, Terrence. This bathroom is pretty big. You have long arms."
"None taken," Terrence said easily. He followed me out of the bathroom and bumped into me when I stopped suddenly.
"Okay, now you're asking for another accident." He complained, but I wasn't paying attention. Rose had walked through the door, looking around at the party in confusion with Luke by her side.
Rose's POV:
The last thing I expected to see when I walked into Al's and Scorpius's flat was a raging party. But the glass of what looked like Firewhiskey soaring by my face when I entered and crashing promptly on the floor didn't fit in at any other atmosphere. I turned to Luke by my side, already knowing I was blushing.
"This isn't what the flat usually looks like." I said. He laughed, his unnaturally white teeth flashing out from behind his lips. Somehow this calmed me and I let my shoulders relax.
"Rose, if you think I'm going to judge you because your cousin is throwing a party, you don't have to worry." I let out a laugh and searched for Albus in the crowded flat. He was at their bar with the same pretty girl from a few weeks ago standing behind him, her arms wrapped around his waist.
"He's there," I pointed. Luke smiled and stepped in front of me, clearing a path through the chaos much easier than I could have done. I wondered where Scorpius was. Our meeting before had left me feeling more stupid than usual, and that was saying something. All I'd been able to do was smile at him this morning and I was not the type of witch to fall over for a boy. Even if that boy was Scorpius.
"Rosie!" Al said. His cheeks were slightly pink and his eyes shone, telling me he already had a few drinks in his system but he wasn't completely sloshed yet. The girl with him dropped her arms and backed up to let him wrap me in a one-armed hug.
"I didn't know you were coming!" He said cheerily. I couldn't help but laugh at Al's contagious happiness.
"I thought I'd stop by. I told Scorpius earlier that I was coming, is he here?" I wondered if Al could detect the note of nervousness in my voice. Just bringing up Scorpius around him brought back memories from our sixth year, as if things hadn't changed and everything was easy again. Even though I knew it shouldn't feel weird to consider Scorpius a friend again, it did.
"He's…" He trailed off, his face screwing up in confusion. "I don't know where he is. He's angry with me for throwing the party. But I'm celebrating!"
"Celebrating what?"
Al extracted himself from our hug and went to pull the girl to his side.
"This gorgeous girl is moving in with me!" The girl beamed widely and then her eyes widened.
"Oh! I don't think we've met. Is it Rose?" She asked, extending her hand to me. I shook it politely, glancing over at Luke who was standing by. He raised his eyebrows at me and I smiled.
"Yes, I'm Rose. I'm sorry, I don't know your name."
"Giselle Warren." She said. Her voice was almost as pretty as the rest of her. I knew that if she wasn't currently standing in what was clearly a couple's embrace with Al, I would be jealous of her. I couldn't help but look over at Luke again, to make sure he was still where he was. He met my eyes and smiled, stepping forward and reaching out a hand to Al.
"We haven't met either. I'm Luke Sharman, Senior Correspondent for the Improper Use of Magic Office."
I watched on as Al and Luke made introductions, fiddling with my wand in my pocket. Giselle looked over at me with a smile that showed she was probably uncomfortable with the unfamiliarity. She folded her arms and stepped toward me.
"If you're looking for Scorpius," She said in a low voice. "He's probably in his room. I can tell that's why you came." She smiled and I opened my mouth to protest. The fact that Luke was with me seemed like a clear sign that Scorpius was not my main concern. But I knew that was wrong and Giselle already saw right through it.
"Thank you," I whispered back.
Making an excuse that I wanted to put my bag down in Al's room, I exited the tight kitchenette and weaved my way through the many Auror trainees to the hallway off the living room that I knew led to bedrooms. But as I wondered which door Scorpius might be behind, I felt the uneasy apprehension growing in the pit of my stomach. What if it was a mistake to try to find Scorpius? We had only just started talking again and the only thing we seemed to be able to do was make meaningless conversation.
I leaned against the nearest door to me, letting out a sigh. Behind me, metal clinked and the door swung inward, causing me to stumble. I gripped the doorframe and was about to jinx the daylights out of whoever had almost knocked me down when I was whisked inside.
"Rosie, thank Merlin you're here!" Dominique quietly shrieked. Her long blonde hair was slightly mussed and her makeup was running. She brushed away new tears with the back of her hand and pulled me onto the bed with her. Looking around, I saw Gryffindor memorabilia and clothes haphazardly lying on any given surface. This told me we were in Al's bedroom.
"Dom, what's happened? I didn't even know you were here." I said in my calmest voice, patting her back lightly while she hiccupped.
"I didn't know you were coming. It's mostly a party for the Auror trainees. I would've come with you if I'd known." She sniffled. I couldn't help but smile at Dom and the way she always put other people before her.
"Did something happen? Are you hurt?" I asked again.
"No, I'm not hurt. But I think I might be hurting someone else." She managed to get out, her voice rising slightly with her hysteria.
"What do you mean? You can tell me, I promise it'll stay here."
"Rose," Dom hiccupped. She turned to me, the tear-stained tracks on her cheeks standing out harshly against her pale complexion. "I did something bad."
I didn't say anything. I knew I would have to wait for her to tell me. She took a deep, rattling breath before looking down at her hands and closing her eyes.
"Colin is here. And I wasn't going to say hello to him because I think he knows I'm with Fletcher now but we ran into each other in the kitchen and I couldn't ignore him. And we were drinking and I came in here to put my things away and…"
She looked up at me again. "I cheated on Fletcher, Rose."
A/N: Hello readers! I know it's been longer than a month BUT I've managed to upload this on the last day of November instead of sometime in December which means monthly updates look like they could be possible! This chapter was a hard one to write and a lot I had planned for it didn't end up in the final draft because it just didn't fit. Hopefully you enjoyed learning more about Draco! Angsty Scorp is a hard Scorp to write because I'm so attached to him, I just want him to be happy! I want to thank every single reader who has reviewed on my stories or has sent me a private message (once again, thank you Amrita!) and it absolutely makes my entire life when I see one of you has been enjoying what I write! Since it was Thanksgiving in the U.S. a few days ago, I'd like to say I'm thankful for you all year round and you put a smile on my face even when I'm going through writer's block! Now that I've successfully rambled on in an Author's Note for the trillionth time, I'll leave you all to the story (:
~yours in eternity xx Amy (p.s. Happy Holidays to everyone as we move into December!)