Author's Note: Hello all! I am so sorry that this update is a little late. My work schedule is quite erratic these days, so snatching writing time is a little more difficult than it used to be. In any case, I hope you enjoy this chapter, and a special thanks to those who have favorited, followed, and reviewed this story.
Bright Blessings,
~Raven
Liara
I sat in the darkness of my room, staring at my omni-tool. I'd read the words at least forty times that day, but no matter how many times my eyes scanned the report and my mind processed it…it made it no easier. The first time I asked Shepard for a promise, she refused to grant me one. I understood why she had done so…but this time…this time she had promised me. I understood all too well that, if the choice belonged to her, she would be in my arms, on this bed beside me, sharing our waking and sleeping moments together.
Alas, that was not to be. The imperiled universe made that choice for her and, because of our connection, for me as well. Ten days passed since I heard her voice, with no news or update from Shepard or any of the other members of the Normandy. I kept a careful watch on the crew whom Shepard allowed to escape. There were warrants out for them; they were being hunted by their respective governments on suspicion of terrorist actions…even if they had saved the galaxy. Cerberus, too, was seeing out its errant operatives, Miranda Lawson and Jacob Taylor.
I wonder if they know how many close calls they have had, I thought as I lay down, resting my head on my pillow, still staring at my operative's report as though it could tell me more than what was contained in the paragraphs. I wonder if they know how many operatives I have lost keeping them out of Cerberus' clutches. It is best they do not know of my involvement, but I will not stop protecting them. It is what Shepard would wish for. It is what she herself would do and since she cannot, I will do it in her stead.
I could feel the emptiness of the bed swallowing me whole. It seemed too large an expanse without her in it. It felt like the emptiness of the two years I spent without her, only now I was cogent, awake and aware, capable of feeling the pain without needing to flee from it. However, self-awareness was cold company. In spite of the madness encroaching on the galaxy, the knowledge of the arrival of the Reapers, I took time to listen to the whispering of my own heart. I was lonely. I was afraid. I had so much power at my fingertips. The name I hid behind, the name I stole, was feared and respected across the galaxy.
Even so, I do not have the power to bring Shepard to me. I do not have the power to free her. It would be entirely too easy to infiltrate her prison and liberate her. She knows this and I know this…she also knows that I will do nothing, because her own sense of honor would keep her in those chains even if she were not jailed and awaiting trial. I love her and…and I must do as she did for me, and accept her as she lives her life in her own way.
I stared at the words again, letting them blur and clarify in my vision over and over again, as if I could change them simply by looking away for a moment. Nothing could alter the harsh reality of the truth. I needed to read it again, for a final time, and put it away, accepting it. I did not want to accept it. The words before me were simply a recounting of what had happened. They could not tell me Serena's feelings. They could not convey her emotions. They would never be able to tell me if she felt as I felt, so very far, far away in another star system…not so difficult to reach, by any means but…but this fate seemed so iron-clad. She felt a galaxy away, and I sat here besieged by my inability to do a single thing.
{{{DAY ONE: Commander Shepard's ship, Normandy SR2 impounded on Earth. Full investigation ordered on ship contents. All electronic files seized and personnel detained. Commander Shepard's person taken into Alliance custody. Currently imprisoned in undisclosed location (will find and report). No contact allowed, excepting Admiral Steven Hackett, Admiral David Anderson and appointed judge advocate general.}}}
{{{DAY TWO: Batarian Hegemony sent representative to demand release of prisoner into Hegemony custody. Told to wait for twenty-four hours until Alliance judgement rendered. Many sightings of Admiral Steven Hackett and David Anderson.}}}
{{{DAY THREE: Judgement rendered. Commander Shepard re-inducted into Alliance military in order to stand courts martial. Batarian representative's request declined until courts martial finalized and final judgement rendered. Inquired as to timeline. Informed that human courts martial proceedings can take from six to eighteen Earth months from beginning to end.}}}
{{{DAY FOUR: Discovered Shepard's location: Alliance base in Vancouver, North American continent. Batarian forces invaded base. Fifteen casualties before Hegemony agents neutralized. Alliance military personnel on high alert. No non-military personnel allowed on base. All talks with Hegemony representatives cancelled. Unsure if this incursion will be seen as an act of war.}}}
I frowned at the screen, worrying. Worrying that one of those fifteen human casualties might have been Shepard, that the batarians might have gotten their revenge on her after all. Since the fourth day, there had been no word. I did not want to worry incessantly but, in the back of my mind, I could see and feel this smaller version of myself. I could hear her screaming for answers. I could feel her tears pounding behind my eyes, begging to rush out in a torrent of cleansing emotion.
Cleansing me of what, I wondered. Continuing to love a woman who has the blood of three-hundred thousand on her hands? Should I not find her reprehensible for that? Would not any other person hear of those actions and turn away, severing all ties?
I knew the answer to my own question. It was a solid affirmative. Any other person would have turned their back on her. They would have set her aside in their hearts and been unable to justify her actions. To me, however, her actions did not need to be justified. Perhaps this was because I knew Shepard at the core of her truest self. I knew what drove her every action, what her one dream was for this galaxy. If there had been another way, another choice, she would have taken it, or made it. One road was presented. One road was taken.
It had been the same with Benezia. She foresaw the danger of Saren and saw but one path before her. She acted, unlike all the other matriarchs, and went to stop the damage he would do before it was done. She saw one road presented. She took it, and she failed only because of Sovereign and its indoctrination. The Reaper's greatest threat was not their power of destruction, but the power they had to turn allies into enemies, simply by occupying a presence long enough to infiltrate the minds of sentient beings.
My mind became too loud a place to occupy. Memories from the past resurged in an ominous wave, building until they threatened to crash in on and destroy me. I closed my eyes at long last, determined to think of better days, sleep, and perchance dream of a world away from the one I currently inhabited. A world where there were many roads, where a soldier's dreams came true, and where love granted immunity from the chaos of the universe. I hovered on the edge of the waking world when my omni flared to life, a message from my operative on Earth.
I opened my message screen and began to read.
{{{DAY TEN: Vancouver base lockdown lifted. Still no non-military persons allowed entrance. Overheard conversation at bar popular with military. Alliance lieutenant, appears to be from South American continent, became inebriated and leaked intel. Shepard's cell breached during batarian incursion. According to the lieutenant, Commander Shepard did not defend herself from attackers before military police brought them down. Lieutenant passed out. Made further inquiries. Still unable to ascertain Shepard's condition.}}}