Warnings: Angst, violence, language, drug use, abuse, supernatural things, sex, yaoi, yuri, het. If you desperately need to know who is paired with who send me a message and I can tell you, but I'd rather you get to experience the evolution of the characters first.
A/N: Based on Misfits, but draws from X-Men, Smallville, and Heroes as well. These kids aren't the complete burnouts that the Misfits are, but they are NOT perfect angels. Be warned.
A/N #2: Thanks to the always amazing Cuzo, more than a beta and no less than a friend.
A/N#3: A special thanks to Snowdragonct, who has been so encouraging and supportive since I first started writing here. Thank you for your advice, conversation, and general brilliance. Also, you are a badass AND a classy lady.
A/N#4: I want to give credit to Cuzo for suggesting Heero's powers be Storm-like. It saved me from the terrible mistake of giving him super lame powers, and I'm glad that so many of you have enjoyed her recommendation as well. Thank you for saving Heero!
Deviant
Chapter Seven
Monday night found Trowa alone in his dorm room, staring at his computer screen, unable to focus on writing his Russian history midterm.
Instead, his mind was a mess. Ever since Friday night he had slept poorly, waking up constantly in the middle of his dreams as he remembered the sound of that man's skull impacting on the dumpster. Even during the day he was haunted by what he had done. His only respite from thinking about the murder he had committed was when he thought about what Hilde had told him of her vision.
His mental image of Duo, Heero, and himself sitting on a couch, watching a movie, tickling each other, kissing each other – it was nearly incomprehensible.
Trowa couldn't decide whether or not he liked the idea of a threesome. It was one thing to have opened up to Duo, but the idea of letting someone else get close to him – someone as cold and distant as Heero – wasn't very inspiring.
He stared at his empty bed. Thus far he and Duo hadn't progressed to anything that necessitated removing clothing, but Trowa had had hopes of getting there soon. The idea of Heero joining them in his narrow twin bed seemed improbable at best.
Of course, the fact that Trowa was a murderer would probably deter Duo from ever being in that bed with him again.
Disgusted with himself, Trowa decided that he wasn't going to accomplish anything in his dorm room. He packed up his Macbook, several books, a notebook, and a few pens.
It was nearly midnight and the campus was deserted as Trowa made his way from his dorm room to the library.
The 24-hour study room was located on the first floor, just beyond the entrance to the library, and it was mercifully empty. A few armchairs were arrayed around the perimeter of the room, and a large conference table and chairs dominated the center.
Trowa set up his computer and arrayed his books on the table in front of him and found that he still couldn't think about his midterm.
The trouble with trying to imagine himself with both Duo and Heero was that Trowa didn't even like Heero. He didn't dislike him, necessarily, but he had never given the other man much attention. Then again, he had never really given anyone much attention aside from Duo.
Heero was certainly physically attractive – and Trowa had seen glimpses of his body enough times in the police station locker room to appreciate the fact that his lean body was impressively toned.
But as much as Trowa could admire that about the other man – and as much as he did admire Duo's body – he wasn't driven to wild fantasies of the three of them naked together just at the sight of Heero's upper body.
He liked Duo, he wanted Duo – he didn't want anyone else. Maybe it was selfish of him, but he didn't want Duo to want anyone else either. But that was it, really – of course Duo, so vibrant and alive and reckless, would want someone else. Likely, Duo needed someone else to balance out the emptiness in his life that Trowa alone couldn't fill.
Or that he would even want Trowa to attempt to fill, once he found out that he was a murderer.
It was ridiculous to waste any of his time thinking about the possibility of a relationship with Heero and Duo when the truth was that Trowa deserved to be alone and miserable.
The door to the study room opened and a man walked in. He wore a Clarkson sweater, the hood pulled up to cover his head and cast his face in shadow, and tight black that hugged his slim legs and well defined ass.
The man collapsed into one of the arm chairs by the wall, and it was another minute before he pulled back his hood and finally realized that someone else was in the room.
Trowa was surprised to see that the man was actually Heero, but even more surprised by the sight of dark circles under his eyes and his swollen, bloody lower lip.
"You look like hell," Trowa said before he could help himself.
Heero smirked and then immediately winced.
"Thanks."
"Sorry."
Heero held his gaze for a moment, and Trowa could tell he was debating whether or not to leave. Heero's eyes strayed to the books in front of Trowa.
"My midterm for Russian History," Trowa felt the urge to explain. "It's due in the morning."
Heero nodded.
"There's not usually anyone in here this late on Monday nights," Heero said lightly.
Trowa realized that Heero wasn't carrying a backpack, or anything that would suggest he planned to study.
"My roommate has company," Heero growled, clearly frustrated.
"And you two fought about it?" Trowa guessed, a little unbelieving.
Heero reached up to gently touch his lips.
"No. This happened before. Hazard of the job," he added with a sneer.
"Don't you have work study in the Smith computer lab?" Trowa asked.
Heero frowned.
"Duo didn't say anything to you."
It wasn't a question, but Trowa still felt the need to shake his head in the negative. He didn't recall ever having a conversation with Duo about Heero – they tended to avoid talking about community service.
"But you two are dating."
Trowa arched an eyebrow at Heero.
"How do you know that?" They barely flirted at community service. He suddenly remembered that Heero, like himself, hadn't spoken up the day they listed their 'powers.' Did Heero have an ability like Quatre's or Hilde's?
"I've seen him going into your dorm a few times."
"Are you on my hall?" Trowa asked. He had made zero effort to get to know anyone who lived near him, so it was possible.
"No, I'm in Carter."
Which was across campus from Thompson, Trowa's dorm.
Heero sighed.
"My job… my other job… I'm usually heading out for work when Duo goes to your dorm. I see him on my way to the parking garage – and I saw you sign him in a few times."
"Are you a bouncer at some underground nightclub?" Trowa asked, trying to joke.
"No." Heero's face was impossible to read, but he held Trowa's eyes. "I'm a prostitute."
A lot of things suddenly made sense to Trowa. He had never given much thought to the crime Duo claimed had sentenced him to community service – Duo had, the day that he read their charges, written it off as a bad joke and Trowa had believed him. Especially after he had discovered that Duo was incredibly ticklish, to the point that it was nearly impossible to touch his stomach without him flinching away and laughing. Trowa thought that that would be a serious impediment to a career in selling your body, so he had never really listened to Trant or Wufei's insults directed at Duo. It was clear that Trant was just lashing out in anger and jealousy, and Wufei… Trowa had no idea why the other Clarkson student was so antagonistic towards Duo.
"Duo lied for you," Trowa said as he thought it.
Heero nodded.
"Why? He doesn't even know you." Trowa didn't necessarily consider it a fault of his, but it was a fact that Duo was not kind to most strangers or people he didn't care for outside of fulfilling his customer service duties at the coffee shop, hardware store, and grocery store.
To Trowa's knowledge, Duo had never even met Heero before community service, so why would he lie to protect a stranger – especially when it meant giving Trant more ammunition to use against him?
"I think it was an apology," Heero said and shrugged. "But who knows? Maybe he thought it would piss people off so he went for it."
That did sound a little bit like something Duo would do.
"Why would he be apologizing to you?"
Heero tensed.
"We ran into each other one night – he wasn't a client – and… he was an asshole," Heero smirked slightly.
"What happened to you? Tonight?"
"It's not like you can be that picky, in my line of work," Heero started, "but sometimes I do say no… and sometimes people think 'no' means that I just need more convincing."
"Why do you do it?" Trowa had to ask. He knew it was rude – knew it was exactly like people asking him why he had tried to kill himself – but he wanted to know.
"To pay for school. I've been on my own since I was fourteen."
It wasn't what Trowa had been expecting, and when Heero drew in a breath to continue he stopped him.
"You don't have to. I shouldn't have asked."
Heero nodded in agreement.
"No one else knows – just you, Duo, and the cops. I just need enough to pay for school, and grad school. It's not – I'm not –" he stopped and shook his head. "I wasn't abused as a child. I don't seek the role of the victim. I'm not – I'm not submissive." Heero continued. His tone of voice suggested he was reading from a psychology book. Trowa wouldn't be surprised if Heero was quoting one – his first impression of Heero had been that the man was one of the most self-analytical people he had ever met.
"It's just sex. Only a physical act. There's no emotion connected to it. Just… a function. I'm barely even there, I barely even feel anything." Heero looked almost vulnerable, sitting there, waiting for Trowa to say something.
But was the hell was Trowa supposed to say to that? What did Heero even want him to say? Did he want acceptance or judgment? It wasn't as if Trowa was in a place to offer either. He was suicidal – and he had killed someone. He was a murderer.
"Hilde works at The Ice Cream Shop," Trowa started, not surprised when Heero looked confused. "She and Duo are roommates – best friends – and she hates me." Now more than ever, he mentally added. "Anyway, last Friday night she was closing the shop and the guy she worked with tried to rape her. I stopped him – I tackled him off of her and against the dumpster. I killed him." It had been on the local news Saturday night, reported as a mugging gone wrong, and alluded to as just the latest in a string of murders that had shattered the peaceful shelter of Clarkson.
"You saved her," Heero said, picking up on Trowa's turmoil.
"I killed someone," Trowa argued.
Heero frowned.
"Did you say something? Tell him to stop or anything to scare him off first?"
"No," Trowa admitted. He hadn't even thought about doing that. He had just seen the man ripping at Hilde's clothes, seen her tear streaked face, and reacted. "I didn't think." He drew in a deep breath and decided to tell Heero everything. "I was invisible. I can turn invisible."
Heero's eyebrows rose.
"That's ironic."
Trowa scowled. It was perfectly true – he had reflected on that himself – but it was still irritating to hear from someone else.
"It's so impossible not to notice you," Heero continued.
"What?" Trowa asked in complete confusion.
Heero rolled his eyes.
"Look at you – you're perfect. Last semester in Calculus almost every girl tried to flirt with you because of how you look. Duo can't even keep his eyes off you most of the time. Neither can I." Heero looked horrified as he said the last. It was clear that he hadn't meant to.
Trowa still found it difficult to believe that Duo found him interesting and attractive – even after months of the other man trying to ask him out – and the knowledge that Heero Yuy couldn't keep his eyes off him was hard to wrap his mind around.
"I'm not perfect," he pointed out immediately.
"No," Heero agreed, "I guess you aren't. That doesn't change anything."
"I killed someone."
"You saved someone else," Heero pointed out. "Do you really think I'm going to judge you? I sell my body to pay for tuition at a private college."
"I'm not judging you," Trowa said.
"Thanks. I judge myself enough as it is."
Trowa couldn't help but laugh.
"God, me too," he agreed.
Heero's lips twitched into a smirk.
"I never tried talking to you before…you didn't seem interested," Heero said after a moment.
"Judging myself pretty much occupies most of my time," Trowa said.
"It shouldn't."
Trowa was certain that Heero was flirting with him. He wasn't quite sure how to respond – or even how he wanted to respond. It was clear that Heero was more than the attractive robot that Trowa had always thought him to be.
He looked at the time. It was just after two in the morning. There was no way he was going to sleep today, not with this midterm due in less than eight hours.
"I'm heading back to my room – I left a few books there," Trowa said.
Heero blinked slowly, as though he was trying to figure out what that had to do with him.
"I've got to finish this – so I'm going to be typing all morning… but if you want to use my bed, I'm sure it's more comfortable than sleeping in one of these chairs."
Heero frowned.
"I promise not to kill you in your sleep," Trowa added.
Heero smirked slightly and stood up, wincing as he did.
"I appreciate it."
They walked back to Trowa's dorm in silence, but it was strangely companionable. They flashed their student I.D.s at the R.A. working the front desk and then Trowa led Heero down the hall to his room.
"It's clean," Heero remarked when Trowa ushered him in.
"Yeah," Trowa agreed.
"My roommate throws his crap everywhere… our room is never clean," Heero muttered.
Trowa nodded in sympthay.
"That's one of the reasons I wanted a single."
"Hn."
Trowa abruptly realized that while Heero's occupation paid his college, it was doubtful that he could afford to pay the extra boarding for a single room.
"Anyway, there's the bed," Trowa said and gestured to it.
"Thanks again," Heero said as he toed off his shoes.
"Don't worry about it."
Trowa sat down at his desk and set up his books and computer once again.
Within minutes he was finally completely absorbed in writing his paper.
It was after five when he paused to stretch and looked over his shoulder to see Heero curled up in a fetal position, a scowl across his forehead and his eyes scrunched closed so tightly it looked painful. His lower lip had become more swollen, and everything about Heero made him seem incredibly broken.
Trowa felt a wave of self-loathing. He had tried to kill himself because his life was overwhelming empty – Heero was fighting against the shitty hand life had dealt him and, clearly, was barely hanging on. But he was fighting. Duo was doing that same. Trowa was merely… existing; trying to pass the time until he finally died.
With a sigh, Trowa stood and pulled the comforter over Heero's body.
Compared to these two, Trowa had everything. He had a family – who did care for him, even if they were terrible at showing it – he had money, he had an easy future ahead of him. Not so for Duo or Heero.
He sat back down at his desk, determined to finish this paper before he allowed his thoughts to derail him again.
There would be plenty of time for self-recrimination later. There always was.
By seven, Trowa was satisfied with his midterm and submitted it digitally before printing off and extra copy, just in case.
Despite the fact that Heero's presence in his bed wrecked Trowa's morning routine and meant that he would skip shaving, he found that he was able to easily adapt and silently gathered supplies to take a shower without waking the other man.
After his shower he found Heero still asleep. Trowa pulled clean boxers from his dress and pulled them on before shedding his bathrobe.
He put on a clean pair of jeans and picked out a green turtleneck from his closet.
"Morning."
Trowa spun at the sound of Heero's gravelly voice.
"Morning," he echoed stupidly.
Heero was sitting up in the bed, blinking sleepily. His gaze cleared, however, when he noticed the scar on Trowa's neck. His blue eyes narrowed, and Trowa took that as his cue and hurriedly pulled the turtleneck over his head and down over his naked chest, hiding the scar.
"It's almost seven-thirty," Trowa said.
"Thanks for letting me use your bed," Heero said, thankfully following Trowa's lead and not saying anything about the scar. "Could I borrow some mouthwash?" Heero asked, nodding at the bottle perched on the small sink in one corner of Trowa's room.
"Sure."
While Heero struggled to make himself presentable, Trowa finished packing his backpack for the day.
"Are you headed to the caf?" Heero asked when he stepped aside to allow Trowa to wash out his travel mug.
"No, Joe's."
Heero nodded.
"Can I buy you coffee then? As a thanks?"
"I drink tea," Trowa said, feeling stupid.
One corner of Heero's mouth twitched upwards. The other… was still swollen but he had washed the blood off.
"Then can I buy you a cup of tea?"
Trowa shrugged.
Heero rolled his eyes.
"So last night I tell you I'm a prostitute, you confess to killing someone, and we were fine. But this morning I see your scar and things get weird between us."
"Your forgot the part where you slept in my bed," Trowa pointed out.
"I don't think that's why you can't meet my eyes," Heero argued.
Trowa frowned and reached up to rub his scar through his shirt.
"Yeah," he agreed with a sigh.
"The scar doesn't change the fact that you're incredibly good looking," Heero said.
Trowa swallowed any comment he might have made and instead opened the door to his room.
Heero chuckled but took the hint and preceded him from the room.
Their walk across campus towards Main Street was once again silent, and once again companionable – only now Trowa felt a distinct underlying tension. He noticed Heero glancing at him every few steps, and found that he was doing the same. The weather, which had started out overcast, cleared as they walked, and seeing the early morning sun dance across Heero's face was definitely distracting.
By the time they arrived at Joe's, Heero was smirking confidently, and Trowa couldn't decide if the look was irritating or attractive.
"Morning and welcome to Java Joe's!" Duo called out when they entered the coffee shop.
Duo's usual grin stiffened a little when he noticed Heero with Trowa.
"Hey, Trowa and… friend," he said. Duo arched an eyebrow at Trowa, clearly wondering at this deviation in his usual routine.
Duo took Trowa's travel mug from his hand and started to make his tea.
"What can I get for you?" Duo asked Heero.
"A medium house coffee," Heero said as he pulled out his wallet.
"Coming right up. That'll be two dollars."
"For both?" Heero asked.
Duo frowned.
"You want two coffees?"
"No, for the coffee and his tea." Heero gestured to Trowa.
Duo, in the process of handing Trowa's mug back to him, froze. But then he grinned broadly and set the mug down on the counter, his hand never coming into contact with Trowa's.
"No, Trowa's tea is on the house."
Heero shrugged and paid for his coffee and dropped a quarter in the tip jar.
Duo handed him his coffee, and as Heero moved to the side table to add cream and sugar, Duo turned an incredulous look on Trowa.
"Since when did you and captain tight pants start hanging out?" he asked.
Trowa shrugged.
"He had a rough night. His job," he added.
Duo's eyes widened and he looked over at Heero again.
"He told you?"
Trowa nodded.
"We talked."
"Which is more than we've done since Friday afternoon," Duo groused.
Trowa frowned at the irritation in Duo's voice, knowing that it was true, and that he was entirely to blame. He had been avoiding Duo ever since the incidents with Hilde, partly because he had been trying to wrap his head around the idea of a future threesome, but mostly because he had been putting off having to tell Duo that he was a murderer. Despite what Hilde wanted, there was no way he could keep it a secret from Duo – not when it could change everything between them.
Duo sighed.
"Anyway, are we still on for tomorrow night? Pizza and Kubrick at my place?" Duo grinned crookedly.
"I'm looking forward to it," Trowa assured him, despite the sense of dread in his belly. It was one of Duo's few nights off, and they had been planning this since last week. Trowa was almost positive that Duo's plans for the night also involved some definite and productive naked time. Which would, no doubt, not be happening once Trowa told him.
Heero walked back over from the side table.
"You're out of honey," he said.
Duo blinked at him and then looked down at the cup in his hand.
"You put honey in your coffee?" he asked incredulously.
Heero nodded, a challenging look in his eyes.
Duo laughed.
"No fucking way!" He took the cup from Heero. "I thought I was the only one!"
Heero seemed to relax marginally.
Duo added honey to his coffee and stirred it well before handing it back.
"Give that a try," he said.
Heero took a sip and then nodded.
"Perfect."
Duo smirked.
"Of course it is," he said. "Anyway, you two run along and go get educated – wouldn't want you to become delinquents or anything."
Trowa rolled his eyes but actually felt marginally less depressed about the future. Duo's levity was contagious, and he found himself actually smiling when he stepped outside to find that it was completely sunny out.
"Duo's a good guy," Heero mused as they walked.
"Yeah," Trowa agreed.
"And he makes you happy."
Trowa nodded.
Heero sighed a little wistfully, and the sky lost some of its brightness as clouds started to move in.
Trowa decided that he wanted the future that Hilde had seen. Duo did make him happy, but if being with Heero and Trowa would make Duo happy – then that's what he would do. Besides, it was clear that Heero wasn't happy and that he wanted to be. The three of them needed each other.
"Do you have a lunch break today? Between classes?" Trowa asked Heero.
"It's early – I've got a 9:40 class and then a break from 11:15 to 12:15."
"Me too," Trowa said. "I'll see you at the caf?"
Heero looked momentarily confused by the offer, but then he nodded.
"Yeah. I'll see you."
As Heero turned to go to his dorm, Trowa noticed that the clouds had once again receded. It looked as though the weather had finally decided to be nice for once.
History majors could more or less take their pick from the courses offered, so long as they ended with forty-eight semester hours and had taken two courses from each of the disciplines – American history, European history, and Asian history. Trowa's interests lay in Middle Eastern history, and since Clarkson only offered three courses in that field, he found that he had planned out his next few semesters to include a fair amount of Asian and European history in his effort to avoid American history courses, and more specifically, the American history professor, Ted Uldricks, who appeared to be certifiably insane.
Treize Khushrenada taught most of the European history classes, while Sally Po handled the Asian history courses. Trowa liked both of them, and found them to be challenging and engaging instructors.
Khushrenada, in particular, was an excellent professor. The fact that he tended to identify with some of the more radical figures in Russian history – he had spent three classes arguing against Ivan the Terrible's moniker and claiming that he was, in actuality, a hero – only made him more interesting.
The class was one of his favorites. It was also clearly one of Wufei Chang's favorite classes.
The Chinese man was early to every class and also stayed late to talk to Khushrenada – hanging on his every word and looking at him with such adoration that Trowa found it almost laughable.
He knew that Wufei lived with Meilin Long, a Women's Studies major that Trowa had met last year when he turned out to be the only male enrolled in Women and Imperialism – the only history class besides U.S. Economic History that hadn't had a wait list last semester. He wasn't sure why they lived together, or why they pretended to be dating – it was clear that Meilin was a lesbian and that Wufei was a prude and homosexual.
Today's class was no different than any other, and sure enough, after Khushrenada released them, Wufei remained to talk to him about some obscure Russian prince who had tried to assassinate Ivan the Terrible.
Trowa left them to it and made his way to the caf. Heero was waiting for him outside, sitting on one of the benches in fresh clothes.
"Hey," Trowa greeted him.
Heero stood and smirked slightly.
"Hey," Heero echoed, reminding Trowa of that morning.
The caf was slow this early, and they quickly made their way through the lunch line and found seats in the dining hall.
"You said something about grad school," Trowa said to Heero as they sat down.
Heero nodded.
"I want to teach."
"Math?" Trowa tried to remember what Heero's major was.
"I want to go to grad school for applied mathematics and teach at a college."
"You know you'd have to talk, to do that," Trowa pointed out. He might be reticent, but Heero was even more so.
"Maybe," Heero said with a shrug and a smirk. "What are you majoring in?"
"History."
Heero arched an eyebrow, clearly waiting for him to elaborate and share his plans for the future.
"My parents want me to go to law school and join the family business – Barton and associates."
"What do you want to do?"
Trowa shrugged.
"I've never really thought much about the future." Mostly because he simply didn't see himself in it.
"It's all I think about," Heero muttered.
Which once again reminded Trowa of just how pathetic he was.
"Would you want to know – the future?"
Heero frowned and looked around the caf, but no one was near their table.
"Like Hilde can see the future?"
Trowa nodded.
Heero shook his head.
"No. That feels too much like believing in destiny."
"And you don't."
"Of course not. If I believed in destiny… what the hell does that say about my life? If destiny exists then someone or something decided that a baby would grow up to be a prostitute without a family or a home. I'd rather believe in nothing. Besides, Hilde doesn't see the future. She sees possibilities."
"What do you mean?"
"If she saw the future, then it wouldn't matter if she told anyone – it would still happen, because the future is fixed, just like the past. But when Hilde tells people – like when she told Duo not to mess with Trant – she's changing the probability of that event occurring."
Trowa frowned.
"So you're saying that if she says something then it's not going to happen."
"Not necessarily – she had to beg Wufei to use his… power, and she saw that as a future possibility. I'm just saying that it's not the future. It's a future."
Trowa nodded and found himself wondering what that meant for him. Hilde had seen a possible future with Duo, Heero, and him together – but that didn't mean it was the future. It just could be.
Trowa sighed. Which meant there was every possibility that Trowa's actions on Friday night had ruined whatever slim chance that future had of existing.
The rest of their lunch was in silence, but it was the first meal Trowa had ever shared with someone at Clarkson and he found himself enjoying Heero's silent presence.
Trowa decided to skip his usual afternoon library study session as well as his afternoon lit class and instead take a nap. He was completely exhausted after staying up all night and not having slept much in the days before.
"Same time on Thursday?" Heero asked as they parted ways outside the caf.
Trowa found himself nodding in agreement.
"Yeah. That'd be nice."
Wednesday night Trowa picked up a pizza before heading over to Duo's apartment.
"Welcome to my humble abode," Duo said when Trowa arrived. "Hilde's closing tonight so we should have the place to ourselves for a while. I was thinking either Dr. Strangelove or Full Metal Jacket for our viewing pleasure this evening."
"I've never actually seen all of Full Metal Jacket," Trowa confessed. "Only the last half."
"What? Blasphemy. Alright, we'll watch that then."
Duo gestured Trowa towards the couch while he went to the fridge and grabbed two beers for them.
Trowa settled back on the couch as Duo put in the movie and tried to force himself to relax.
He would tell Duo, but later. After dinner. After the movie.
After watching Pile blow out his brains in the latrine, Trowa had to say something to Duo. It was ridiculous to continue acting as if nothing was wrong, and Trowa needed to tell him.
"Remember the day we killed Une?" Trowa asked.
Duo glanced over at him.
"Yeah. Kind of hard to forget a crazy bitch pointing a gun at my face."
"Everyone said what their new power was."
"Yeah – everyone except for you and Heero. It's not… do you mind not having something?"
Trowa grimaced.
"I do have something. I can turn invisible."
Duo turned to face Trowa.
"You can turn invisible."
Trowa drew in a deep breath and decided to demonstrate. He willed his body to vanish.
"Holy shit." Duo was staring wide eyed at the spot where Trowa sat, now invisible to Duo's eyes.
"Yeah," Trowa agreed as he allowed himself to rematerialize.
"Why didn't you say anything before?" There wasn't any accusation in Duo's voice, just curiosity.
"Because I've always felt invisible – so this isn't something I'm… proud of."
"And I'm incredibly proud of my new ability to pick up shit before it falls to the ground and breaks," Duo muttered. "I don't think any of us are that excited about what we can do now. But you aren't invisible, Trowa. You're… eye catching." Duo smirked and leaned close, clearly intent on kissing him.
Trowa sat back and Duo scowled.
"And I'm really confused about what's going on. You've hardly talked to me since Saturday and now… you're not interested in kissing me."
"If you kiss me now you're only going to hate me more later," Trowa said with a sigh.
"How the hell does that make any sense?"
"Last Friday I followed Hilde."
"Followed her?"
Trowa nodded.
"I was invisible. I just… wanted to try to figure her out. She dislikes me so much and she's important to you. So I just sat in the Ice Cream Shop for a while to see what she was like. When the shop closed I went outside and started to leave, but then I heard her screaming. The guy she works with –"
"Mitch," Duo supplied.
"Mitch. He was trying to rape her. I tackled him his head hit the dumpster and he died. So I killed someone."
"Wait. Let me get this straight. Mitch tried to rape Hilde and – holy shit. The news said he was killed by a mugger."
Trowa nodded.
"I took his wallet. We didn't think the cops would be inclined to believe what actually happened, so…"
Duo stared at him, his mouth slightly open.
"Why didn't you tell me when this fucking happened?" Duo eventually bit out.
Trowa started to answer, but the door to the apartment opened. Trowa winced when Hilde walked in.
"Hey guys," she said. "Everything okay?" She frowned when she took in Duo's angry expression.
"I don't know. You tell me." Duo said. "You and Trowa seem to be pretty good at keeping secrets with each other."
Hilde's eyes narrowed and she glared at Trowa.
"You told him?"
"He needed to know."
"No, he didn't. He didn't want to know."
Trowa frowned, but before he could speak Duo jumped in.
"What the hell do you mean I didn't want to know?"
"You told me you didn't want to know the future!"
"What are you talking about?" Duo looked from Hilde to Trowa as he stood up.
"About my vision – about you, Trowa, and Heero together. What are you –" her glare turned glacial. "You told him about Mitch?" she shrieked at Trowa.
"Of fucking course he did!" Duo shouted over her. "And I'm really curious about why the fuck the two of you thought it was okay not to tell me! You could have been killed Hilde! I told you Mitch was a creep and you –"
"This is why I didn't tell you! Because I'm not a child and I don't need you to babysit me!"
"No, you've got Trowa for that!"
Trowa frowned, not at all comfortable with that idea.
"You don't care at all that he killed someone?" Hilde demanded.
"Of course I fucking care. But I care more about you and the fact that – Jesus Christ, Hilde!" Duo shook his head. "How could you not tell me about this?"
"Because I never wanted to think about it again! Because it was the worst night of my life and my stupid vision isn't good for anything!"
"Except saving my life," Duo pointed out despondently.
"And getting visions of your sex life," Hilde bitterly added, clearly not picking up on Duo's mood.
"Which you feel the need to share with everyone."
"I did not share it with everyone – he wanted to know! And since it involved him I told him."
Duo turned to Trowa with a frown.
"Is that why… you and Heero, huh?" Duo smirked and shook his head. "I can't blame you, he's a good looking guy."
"I don't care about that. I thought it was what you would want."
"What I would want? Trowa, all I want is you. I've wanted to be with you for eight months. But if this isn't… if I'm not enough for you or… I don't know. Maybe you need someone like Heero more than someone like me?" Duo drew in a deep breath and looked back at Hilde and then shook his head.
"I need to get out of here. I really don't know what to say to either of you right now. I don't even – fuck it."
A moment later he was gone, leaving Hilde and Trowa alone in the apartment that felt overwhelming empty without Duo's presence.
"I think you should go," Hilde said after a moment.
Trowa found himself agreeing.
"I'd like it if you didn't come back," she added as he walked to the door.
Trowa turned back to look at her in shock.
"Duo would be better without you. Or Heero I guess."
"That's his decision, isn't it?" Trowa pointed out.
Hilde nodded.
"That doesn't mean he won't make the wrong one. Do you really think that you can make him happy? That lying to him about all of this was okay? Do all of us a favor and make this easy for him."
Trowa decided that anything he wanted to say to her in this moment would be something he would later regret, so he left without another word.
On Thursday morning Trowa couldn't decide whether or not to go to Joe's. He imagined that Duo wouldn't be too happy to see him, but he also didn't want to worry Duo by not showing up. Assuming Duo even cared one way or another about him living.
Fate decided for him.
As he walked out of his dorm he nearly ran into the two cops who had shown up at the police station last Saturday.
"Trowa Barton?" the woman asked.
"Yes?"
"We have a few questions for you," the man said, "if you have a few moments?"
"Questions about what?"
Had he pissed off Duo enough that he had gone to the police?
The two exchanged looks.
"About Sergeant Une and her disappearance. Can we talk in your room?"
The fact that Trowa actually relaxed made him realize just how fucked up his life had become.